Looking For It by Michael Thomas Ford

Looking For It Reviews

• 
  LenaRibka

  Audible
  
  4,5 stars!
  
  Another great book from Michael Thomas Ford, one of my favourite authors by now. With a fabulous voice of Blake Somerset, one of my favourite narrators in the meantime.
  
  The main idea of this book for me is expressed in the very last quote:
  
  

  We all looking for something. And some of us are lucky enough to find it.

  
  
  
  
  
  This novel told us the stories of 8 different men of a small gay community in Cold Falls, New York. There are parts in this book I really loved and some other maybe not as much, but altogether, it is a realistic and very hopeful novel about our LOOKING and longing for someone or something, about destiny, friendship, desires, needs and love.
  
  And I'm very happy to reveal you the fact, that those who deserved it, would find it at the end.
  
  Highly recommended!
• 
  KatieMc

  This was what I have come to expect from Michael Thomas Ford, with the exception of one plot/character arc that was decidedly darker than the author's usual fare. I truly enjoy the camaraderie depicted among the men, the long time relationships and the germination of new romance.
  
  Hat tip to Lena for turning me onto MTF.
• 
  Ed

  This is the third book I have read by Ford in the past year or so and I have enjoyed every one of them. Like
  Changing Tides and
  Last Summer Ford uses a shifting POV, writing short, well-crafted chapters, in which we soon become captivated by the cast of characters he creates. Ford has recently become a favorite author of mine and I look forward to soon reading his
  Full Circle which sounds like it might be even better than the three I have already read by him.
• 
  Paul Manytravels

  Michael Thomas Ford writes amazing works; Looking for It demonstrates just how amazing his talents are.
  This novel describes several gay men and the interrelationships among them.
  Ford develops several types of characters, each experiencing his sexuality and hunger for human connection in a unique way. The characters include a self-hating homophobic, violent man who follows each of his sexual experiences violently, attacking the very men he has just sexually enjoyed. At the opposite end of the continuum is a gentle and wise older man who believes he will no longer be able to find the man of his dreams a year after his life partner has died. (Anybody who met this man as a real-life person could not help but love him).
  Younger men include closeted men as well as ones who have openly embraced their sexuality. A couple whose relationship has grown stale after seven years together struggles to find a way to keep it together. Another man simply wants to find companionship and affection.
  Ford's sensitive portrayal of each character, even the most despicable one, gives authenticity to their stories; each character engages the interest of the readers.
  This is the third book by Ford I have read, yet each has been memorable and engaging. I was lucky enough to share my experiences reading this book with a friend I met here on GR. We have found ourselves buddy-reading each other's suggestions, making our reading experience more meaningful and enjoyable. In this case, I b believe both of us will want to share another novel by Michael Thomas Ford quite soon.
• 
  Alex

  As we follow the stories of six men whose lives weave together in a small New York town, we are shown the good, the difficulties, and the heartbreak of relationships. We are given a gamut of men, with those who are looking for love, those who have given up hope of finding someone, those who are in denial about their sexuality, those in a committed relationship and those who have lost their partner and struggling to return to "the scene" as an old man.
  
  The accounts are sometimes amusing, sometimes heart wrenching, and sometimes tender. As their tales unfold, the stories of these men is the story of us all--searching for love, struggling to deeply understand another person, and trying to find our own place, whether its in our own self-worth or how society views us.
  
  The two stories that moved me the most was those of Stephen, who is single, mostly comfortable with his sexuality, but feels incapable of forming a relationship with another man; and Thomas and Mike, who form a bond that just warmed me. No matter the angle Ford took to view these men and their relationships, he did a thorough job of exploring the complex dynamics involved. They are all touching and delightful.
  
  A word of warning, there is some violence (gay-bashing) described in some detail and through the perspective of the perpetrator. Also, if you are uncomfortable with the word "fag/faggot," be warned that it is used by this same man often.
• 
  Paula´s Brief Review

  Una historia coral súper entretenida de vidas entrecruzadas, buenos y malos, una prosa preciosa y unos diálogos muy buenos.
• 
  Dolphe

  While this is a superior, darker effort to "Last Summer", it retains the author's biting humor. It suffers; however, from almost too many characters. Ford creates interesting and well-drawn characters, but the sheer number means that many of the more intriguing damaged souls get short changed in the story telling. The best reads often benefit from the best editors and there is not enough evidence of that editing here. I certainly look forward to reading more of the author's work; however, and hope that my small criticisms don't encourage others to avoid his novels.
• 
  Don Bradshaw

  Not Ford's best but worth reading. The book revolves aroung the lives, loves and breakups of seven men in a small upstate New York town. Ford manages to capture the intricasies of life in these men.
• 
  Martin Denton

  Looking For It is about a group of gay men who live in a small city in upstate New York, and the family they create for themselves/each other. It's a loving and thoughtful book about caring for ourselves--ourselves meaning not just each of us but all of "us": i.e., the community of gay men. (Author Michael Thomas Ford makes the point about there being an "us" to support and care for more than once in the book--a powerful aspect of the novel.)
  
  I loved all of the main characters in the book except for one, and that one I ultimately pitied and grieved for. I identified most with two of them: Simon, who is 65 and a widower, his partner of 40-some years having recently died of cancer--he is dealing with sudden loneliness and the apparent beside-the-point nature of being an elderly gay man, and I understood both of those feelings; and Mike, the bartender at the town's sole gay bar, nearing middle age alone, tentative about relationships and love following one sad experience. Mike embodies the spirit of the title of the book, which is that not only are many of us looking for something that we can't quite define, but too many of us aren't ready for it when it arrives, look past it, or don't recognize it. Indeed, all of the characters here experience some aspect of what I've just described; that's the theme and the arc of the book.
  
  There is one character who is pretty brutal. His name is Pete, and he is a sad self-loathing gay man who thinks of the men he wants sexually as prey, as "faggots" to be reviled and abused. Although his pathology/psychology is not fully explored, I understood after I thought about the book that the true tragedy of Pete's story is that he never allows himself to join the family created by the others, to receive their love and support. Had he done so--had it ever occurred to him to do so--his life would have been different.
  
  Ford's writing is direct and engrossing; as I said, I grew to like all of these guys a lot and would be happy to spend more time with them. (I remarked to the gentleman who recommended this book to me that I'd gladly watch a TV series about these characters.) I am definitely eager to read more works by this author.
• 
  Astrid Krisman

  Het verhaal van een groep mannen door vriendschap, liefde of haat met elkaar verbonden. Wat de mannen gemeen hebben is hun al dan niet gewenste plek in de queer wereld in New York.
  De POV wisselt waardoor je de verschillende karakters van binnenuit leert kennen. De zachte, ouder wordende Simon die rouwt om zijn overleden partner, de gewelddadige Pete, de zoekende Russel, de met zichzelf strijdende Stephen en veel andere mannen, elk met hun eigen verhaal en worsteling. Ze zijn door Ford met begrip, mededogen en humor neergezet en ik voelde intens met hen mee. Heel mooi verhaal, heel mooi geschreven.
  "We're all looking for something," Thomas said. "All of us." Mike lay his head on Thomas's shoulder, nuzzling his neck. "And some of us are lucky enough to find it." he said.
• 
  Elisa Rolle

  I was wandering a lot around Michael Thomas Ford's novels, never deciding to buy one since, first there were so many to choose from that I didn't know where to start and second I was worried to become addicted and knowing me if I liked one than I for sure I would have bought all of them. So I waited and waited and then in a gay bookstore they were all there, looking at me from the shelves and they are so pretty with those covers that I picked one. The saleswoman told me pick one random, they are all good and my choice was Looking for it.
  
  It's strange, usually I don't like stories with too much characters, I never know for whom to care for and always feel like no one of them has enough space. And above all, at least one of them has not an happy ending. And instead Looking for it made me rethink on my assumptions. It's true, it's the choral story of a groups of friends, all of them gay and all of them represents a way to face gay life. There is Mike, the bartender of the Engine Room, the pub where all of them gather. He seems the more steady of them, always ready to listen to other problems. But also Mike has his bad experience in the past and maybe he is alone since he fears to be burnt again. But Mike is a too good guy to stay alone forever and so enter Father Thomas Dunn, the new episcopal pastor of the S. Peter's Church, the same church where some of the above friends go. So, in a way, Mike and Thomas do the same work, they listen to people problem trying to forget that also them have their own relationship issue. Thomas was in love with a fellow seminarist, a boy he didn't have the courage to love and who died. Since then, Thomas's guilty grew so much that now he is convinced that his punishment is to be alone forever. What I liked of Mike and Thomas' story is that it was without angst; both of them new that it was not an easy relationship but they faced it with an easiness that made it sweet and tender.
  
  The other known couple in the novel is John and Russell, who are facing the classic 7 years love relationship crisis. They love each other, but they arrived in a moment in life and in their relationship, where the other is granted, and you believe that you haven't to prove your love. John and Russell were since the beginning a strange couple, Russell full of joy and life, and John so quiet and shy. Probably this is the reason why they love each other, but living together is a play of balancing, and probably they forgot that. It will be not easy for them to find a way to stay together, but what I liked of their story is that they never stopped to love each other.
  
  Then there is Simon, one of the best character of all. He is 65 years old and recently "widower". His more than 40 life partner died of cancer the year before, and Simon is wondering why he didn't die with him. He has friends, a place to stay but he is alone, and at his age he doesn't believe possible to have a second chance in love. And even if it was, how will he recognize it? He was out of the dating game for so much that the rules are all changed, and he doesn't know if he likes how they are playing now.
  
  The last two men, but not the least important, are Stephen and Greg. In a way they are similar, they both are in the closet but in the opposite way: Greg came out simply living his family and all he knew to live in another city, among strangers who accept him for who he is and not for who they want him to be. Stephen instead is out with his friends but completely in the closet with his family, and living one door next the other it's quite impossible to have a normal relationship. So both of them are limiting their relationship to one night standings, believing in this way to quench the thirst of love they have, and instead gathering so much need inside that sooner or later they will explode.
  
  On a side note there is also the story of Pete, probably the sadder of all. A man who was raised believing that being gay is the worst evil of all, and that has no way to understand his needs and feelings. The only way to claim them is with violence. Even if he is not a "good" guy, I think the author considered him another of his boys, another way to live being gay, I wish this one being the less chosen, but I know that in reality, for many people is the only one. I can't hate Pete, neither after knowing what he did, I can only feel a great pain for him.
  
  On a closing note, Looking for It is a wonderful romance, and it's also pretty sexy, something I seldom have the chance to find in a more mainstream novel. The sex scenes are all good, even the one that serves to the author to prove something, they are enough but not too much, and above all, they are more romantic than free.
  
  And now my only problem is how to choose the next one among the Michael Thomas Ford's novels...
  
  
  http://www.amazon.com/dp/0758204086/?...
• 
  Aaron

  With Ford's second novel, he shifts the setting from Provincetown, Massachusetts to a small town in northern New York called Cold Falls. While that might be different, he still centers his story on the shared experiences of a small group of people. Each of them is looking for it, but the "it" is not what you might expect.
  
  Mike is at a turning point in his life. He lost his whole family when their car was hit by a drunk driver when he was in high school. Now, he is a bartender at a local gay bar called the Engine Room. His whole perspective on live changes when he is driving home from work late one night and he runs into the Father Thomas Dunn, the local Episcopal priest, ... literally. After helping the father sort out what is wrong with his car, Mike gives him a ride home and the two find that it is the start of a good friendship and, perhaps, something more.
  
  Simon is the group "Auntie." In his mid-60's, he is still coming to terms with the fact that his partner of more than 40 years died just a year previously. He not only misses his partner, but he is also coming to terms with the fact that he is looking at the possibility that he will live the rest of his life all alone. It is not a pleasant thought.
  
  John and Russell, who have been together for seven years, arrive at a crisis point. While there is no shortage of love between them, Russell is not sure he can continue living with a man who is so reserved, analytical, and self-focused. As a result, they start a period of separation that will allow them to decide where their future will take them, and whether it will be together.
  
  John and Russell also start the story by playing matchmaker. Russell has a good friend and coworker named Gary, who they think would be perfect for their accountant Stephen. Unfortunately, Stephen is still sorting out life as a gay man. Not only does he live next door to his parents, but he is also ashamed of what being gay means for him.
  
  As a result of Stephen's feelings, he not only fends of Gary's interest, but it leads him to explore his sexuality online and at seedy adult stores. At the latter, he runs into a self-loathing homophobe named Peter. Ashamed of his own feelings Peter finds a way to fulfill his sexual needs with other men, but usually concludes by beating them in order to hide his shame. Stephen is not the only one who ends up on the brunt end of Peter's attacks.
  
  As with his first novel, the strength of Ford's writing is in the strong, realistic characters. Readers get to experience the pain, joy, and humor that the various characters go through the six weeks prior to the New Year. The story is one of an ensemble cast. Each of them is looking for something, but it is more tied to happiness and various types of love than anything else.
• 
  Ryan

  This was a reread for me and one that I love even more every time I read it. Michael Thomas Ford, in every book I've read of is, does a fantastic job of creating believable characters that even when they are doing horrific things, the reader is still able to relate to what's going on. And that's what this book is about for me, the characters.
  
  The book tells the story of nine gay men as they navigate through life from Halloween night to New Year's Eve. The time span is pretty short but the development these men go through is amazing, but never feels rushed. The events feel like a natural progression of life and change their lives, most for the good, but their is some bad as well.
  
  The two characters I love the most though are Mike and Father Thomas Dunn, an Episcopal priest. They are wounded men both who have big losses in their past and while they are alive, neither one of them is really living life. The relationship that they develop is one that at first glance doesn't seem to make too much sense. One is a bartender in a gay bar, the other a priest who is on the verge of losing his faith. Their friendship starts to heal them both and it's not long before that friendship turns into something more.
  
  It's close to Christmas before either one of them is willing to admit to their feelings and they way it's expressed in this book is beautiful to witness. There is a tenderness and shyness there that brings me back to the first time I really started to fall in love with someone. The love they share changes them. Mike gets his life on track and decides to teach again and Thomas regains his faith and love for the church.
  
  The only other character that I wanted to go into in any detail, though I love them all, is Pete Thayer. He is a deeply closeted, conflicted young man who can not get a handle on what he feels towards other men. He fights it with such determination that he starts to make horrible decisions. His only outlet is anonymous sex with strangers and when those strangers aren't quite willing, Pete has no issue with roughing them up a little bit. He even comes into contact with two of the other characters in ways that change the lives of two of them and ends up terminating the life of the third. Pete is the example of what self doubt and hatred can do to someone when they don't have anyone around to talk to. Even when he is acting out and hurting others, you are able to feel the pain and anguish he is going through.
  
  I would love to tell you about the other men but I would rather have you meet them yourself. They all have their own stories to tell, all of which are worth hearing.
• 
  Joseph

  One of my favorite writers. A large cast of characters to deal with but I truly cared about a majority of them and got drawn in to their world. Need to read more of Ford's work!
• 
  Sarmat Chowdhury

  Written in the early 2000, the story follows 6 men: Mike, John, Russell, Peter, Stephen and Thomas and their lives in Cold Falls, New York. The characters are all gay men that are at different stages in their lives and relationships, and Ford does a great job at keeping the stories rooted in the POV of the characters.
  
  There is no overall plot of the novel, as the story is entirely dependent of the characters and how they are changing with the progression of the story. John and Russell, a couple of 7 years, are cracking from their facade of happy coupledom, Stephen is facing his darker fantasies, Mike is slowly coming out of his shell, and Thomas, who serves as a priest is also coming to terms about the love that he had with a deceased friend.
  
  While there is romance in the book, this is not a romance novel. This is a literary take on a found family, about the changing of the guard as queer people are living out in the open and as stigmas that American society held are changed. While the book is not written for the time that I am reading it, and there are scenes of dubious consent, homophobic attacks, suicide, sexual assault and more that are depicted, the true nod to Ford as an author is his ability to connect the stories and also appreciate the characters and their overall journey through the book.
  
  You see a small town in upstate New York and her citizens, those that are straight and those that are gay. You see them as people, which I think is what Ford was able to do in these novels - allow for the men of different ages to still evolve and grow, and also empathize with what they struggle through the book.
  
  While it was an enjoyable read, I did take some umbrage with the misgendering that occurred. I also was uncomfortable with the frankness that Ford presented some of the topics that I listed above on the page, and it reminded me that this was written at a time when the content of the book was not an issue for the reader. One thing that did strike me as interesting was that this was the third book written by a queer man where there was very little to no women in the writing as main or supporting characters. While there was one mom character that featured as part of a supporting cast, I was fasciated that when it came to queer women or orther characters that identified as female, there were little to no characters, an example that I came across while I was reading books by James Lear where there was very little to no female characters.
  
  Ford is a great author, and I wouldn't mind reading other books by him that come my way.
• 
  Max

  yea this book sucked. first third was a slog, I was only interested in the priest of all people , and the surprise erotica was just weird (was no one going to tell me this book has erotica in it or was I supposed to read it myself). I also think we were supposed to feel some sympathy for pete who was just awful, & he sexually/physically assaulted ppl the whole book. the writing was cheap, fanfiction-level. Ford is a bad writer full-stop. it was somehow too long yet the character arcs were STILL rushed at the end.
  
  ALSO a lot of the events in the latter half were textbook examples of telling instead of showing. major events werent shown but rather summarized by background characters in the following chapters. idk it just got on my nerves. it was obvious, for example, that father dunn's new years sermon was summarized afterwards because ford is too weak a writer to deliver such a scene with enough gravitas. he doesnt have the chops.
  
  oh also it bears mentioning that for a book about the colorful diverse and multitudinous lives of ppl at this bar, absolutely all of them were cis white men. yall remember that one episode in pose when Blanca got kicked out of a white gay bar? this book is about them. the book openly scorns drag queens in the first few chapters, lesbians are mentioned in passing a handful of times (once as a joke), transgender and bisexual people are NEVER mentioned, and again THEYRE ALL WHITE. the author has a very narrow idea of the acceptable gay. ford injected his voice as another queen in the group at every opportunity, and to be honest he and all of these characters are insufferable, especially the snobbish older men who scorn anything "young" and "unsophisticated." what elitist pricks.
  
  everyone but thomas and mike was pathetic. blah blah blah their lives sucked, there were reasons,whatever I couldnt respect any of them when pretty much everyone but mike and thomas have at least one scene where they jerk off and then cry themselves to sleep.
  
  anyways. 2 stars cuz i didnt hate it. it wasnt good. the random episcopalians saved it.
• 
  Terry

  This was one of my Pride 2018 reads. I’m a total Ford fan, but this one didn’t do much for me. What’s worked for me in the past with Ford’s works are his characters. This time I didn’t really connect with any of them, and therefore just didn’t care. Some of the issues presented (gay men aging, gay bashing, the dangers of anonymous sex, drug abuse) are certainly still timely, but something here just didn’t ring true. And much of that is that things have changed drastically since the book was published in 2004. What does work is that everyone’s just one hot mess, so there’s a lot of drama, and it’s quite soap opera-y. And then there’s the sex – he writes about that well too.
• 
  Sue

  I enjoy Michael Thomas Ford's books and "Looking for It" was no exception. This book is different than the others I've read in that it follows a group of friends as they examine their lives and find what's missing.
  
  There were some dark elements, along with humor, angst, friendship and love. What else do you need?
• 
  Shelba

  DNF @ 6%.
  
  I only managed the first two chapters, but I really disliked how crude and self-hating Pete was. Life's to short to read books with unlikeable MCs .
• 
  Rick Hribko

  Loved the characters, and I generally love Michael Ford as a writer. A good read.
• 
  Mark Sunflower

  I read this many years ago. It is a very uplifting story of finding love and friendship and community. It inspires me to find my own little piece of heaven in the world
• 
  Joel McClanahan

  I am a big Ford fan, but this book was the worse. I liked the idea of gay men trying to find love, sex or whatever. The story line of Pete, although "a real issue", i do not want to read it, it has no purpose in this book.
• 
  Bellbomb Bellbomb

  This is the first book by Michael Thomas Ford I picked up, and I'm sure I'll be reading many more of his novels. I just clicked with his style of writing and storytelling from the first chapter. It has a contemplative, melancholic but at the same time hopeful tone I really like. Somehow while reading this I was thinking of my another favorite author Adam Fitzroy - these guys are both fantastic at writing about relationship of mature/older men and still make it seem relevant to a single female reader in her early 30s like me.
  
  I saw some reviewers complained about the multi-POV, but I think this is because the author cares about all of his characters and feels that every one of them has a story to tell. It's different from usual romance novels where we have 2 main protagonists and then maybe secondary couple(s) orbiting around them in the periphery. In this book, each character who is given a voice gets to champion his own chapter and discovers his own happiness after overcoming the loss that happened in the past. It's very uplifting and I'll definitely re-visit the tale of these men in the future.
  
  PS. I should note that although this book was published in 2004, the story about lives in small American town and some people's attitude toward homosexuals haven't changed much (just take the Orlando Shooting in early 2016 for example). The only thing that would seem out of place if it was published now is the characters' comment about them not being able to get married legally which has been rectified earlier this year.
• 
  Michael Russel

  This follows the lives of seven gay men in the small town of Cold Falls NY. There's Mike who's one of the bartenders at the town's gay bar. He has friends but feels unfulfilled. Then there's Stephen who is out to his gay friends but not his family. Next up is Pete who is gay but can't handle it. He acts str8 and goes out for anonymous sex with men...and sometimes beats the guys up. There's a couple--John and Russell--who have been together many years but their relationship is slowly crumbling. There's Father Thomas Dunn who secretly is gay but I afraid to come out. Last up is Simon, an elderly gay man who has just lost his long-time lover and is not sure what to do.
  
  This is entertaining and well-written with interesting characters...but there are problems. for starts it's way too long with non-stop interior monologues from all the characters that --frankly--get boring towards the end. There's also VERY graphic sex and violence that is pretty disturbing to read. It seems out of place here. It's not a deep novel either. Fairly predictable resolutions all around. Still I read the whole thing and enjoyed it. So I give it a marginal recommendation.
• 
  Dick

  I am a big fan of Ford's and he has been one of my favorite gay story writers. However, this particular novel was not at the standard of his other stories. His characters are either sad to be gay,not accepting that they are gay or openly homophobic about their gayness.
  This may be because the book was written much earlier than I thought. But again, it reference some actions in the book at hate crimes and itseems to me that that legislation happened after 2000 and google seems to say it was 2010. Although I am not deeply aware of all that goes on in the gay community, I just feel that this story doesn't tell about how things are really happening in the 2010 time frame. Also, the story takes place in up state NY, and I live much of the year in nearby NH,and I don't see the same vitriol that Ford writes about in this book.
  I did like most of the characters, but I just didn't feel that they were as realistic as in his other novels. And that's saying something since he's the author of a mordern day Jane Austin vampire.!!!
• 
  Writerlibrarian

  Set in a little town in upstate New York, we follow the lives of 7 men, all at turning points. There are some really nice parts in this novel. I especially liked Simon's story. How to you live after losing your partner of 40 years ? How do you let go ? Simon visits Walter's grave, talks to him. There's an universal truth here. Doesn't matter that Simon is gay, that his partner was a man. Ford succeeds in letting the reader see through Simon's eyes. The budding love story of Mike and Thomas mirrors the troubled marriage of John and Russell. I liked both those story lines even if it came out in the end like it was expected to end. The one part I had problems with was the graphic pain Peter, Stephen and Greg go through. This is not pretty and it's graphic how denial can completely screw you up. Overall, I'm glad I read it.
• 
  Sala Bim

  I enjoyed this book better than I enjoyed the last work I read by this author, mainly because he incorporated more elements and storylines this time around, and so there were wider and more varied perspectives expressed. For me, there still seemed to be a bit of....detachment (is that the word I'm looking for?) in the voice of the author...as if maybe I was getting a second-hand account of the story as opposed to a front row seat. I can't really explain it, but I enjoyed the story nonetheless. Each of the characters brought something different to the story-line and I enjoyed how the author deftly dealt with the issues of religion and homosexuality, transgender issues and gender reassignment surgeries, lost love, aging, and so on... I would be interested in other works by this author.