The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life by Amy Tan

The Opposite of Fate: Memories of a Writing Life Reviews

• 
  Jeana

  Reading this book is like sitting down to lunch with someone you hardly know and making a new friend. I happen to love Amy Tan's novels. I also like to read about writers and how they got their breaks. This memior/musings/essay book held a lot of the magic that is found in Joy Luck Club/Kitchen God's Wife with a lot of reality and the daily suffering of a writer.
  
  I particularly enjoyed reading about Tan's mother (but of course it's the crazy/hard-lifed mothers that make Joy Luck and Kitchen God's Wife so good) and about her path to making it as a writer. I also liked reading about how her mother made her sit down at the piano and practice for an hour every day even when she'd much rather be outside playing. I even liked reading about her thoughts on lanuage and how they formed who she is today, as a writer and generally as a person.
  
  There's a reason why people love Amy Tan--it's because she has the writing style to make you feel like she IS your best friend and that she's telling her stories to you, making you HER friend.
• 
  Clark Carlton

  Amy Tan is one of the finest American writers we have. I am making it a point not to call her one of our finest women writers or Chinese-American writers or a writer of color, an issue which is explored in this memoir. This book may be a special taste -- you might need to be someone who loves her work and is interested in writing to fully appreciate it. Amy tells her stories with certainty and elegance and never overstates anything. I listened to this book which was all the better for having the author as the narrator as she imbues her prose with subtle inflections, careful pauses, rises and falls of volume. One particular instance comes to mind when she very carefully uses the word "racist". She also changes her voice when she reads words that came from her mother, an effect both humorous and touching. It was fascinating to learn what the true stories are that inspired her fiction as well as her surprisingly pleasant experience in Hollywood while making the film version of the Joy Luck Club.
  
  What a pleasure to read prose with such a refreshing perspective. To paraphrase Amy, she works so hard at making her work easy to read -- and listen to.
• 
  Eileen

  I highly recommend this book to all writers as well as those interested in the “evolution” of a writer. I truly enjoyed Amy Tan’s honest and insightful account of her “journey,” told through a series of essays and autobiographical sketches.
  
  I especially appreciated Tan’s essay, “Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects,” in which she rejects the widespread belief that writers come in colors – and those colors do not mix and match. It is a biting critique of those who would dictate who is qualified to write about various cultures and peoples and how they should do so.
  
  Bravo Ms. Tam for refusing to play the label game.
  
  
• 
  Lisa

  I really enjoyed this book. It was so different from the books I normally read. Amy Tan has led an interesting life! It was a little slow 3/4 of the way through, but I enjoyed reading about her life and relationship with her mother. Seeking the "American Dream" and the chinese culture of honoring and obeying your parents are so polar opposite. It's understandable that first generation kids grow up very confused.
• 
  Lily Yu - Books by Starlight

  A good story! I didn't like it very much the first two times I read this, but with this third time, it's grown on me.
• 
  Barbara H

  Delightful!
  ****
  
  I discovered this book at one of my library's Friends of the Library booksales. Without hesitation, I paid the minimal amount to purchase a book written by one of my favorite authors, Amy Tan. It is difficult to classify the genre of her writings here, but the sub-title of A Book of Musings captures it well.
  
  Her spirit and humor that characterize her engaging novels, are observed in her tales of her life and how she escaped the encumbrances of her past to develop a future of her own. Her journey from her childhood unexpected disasters to comedy, to the present day and her unexpected success as a prize-winning novelist are related as entertainingly as her novels.
  
  Much of this book is given to random thoughts with arbitrary places of circumstance, yet it all fits well to convey to the reader the influences in her life which led to her successful novels.Recalling arguments with her mother in suburban California, living with ancient Asian superstitions, hearing the acceptance of fate and travels to China, all contributed to the familiar subjects she wrote about. The Opposite of Fate  offers vivid portraits of choices, attitudes, charms, and luck in action in this book.
  
  I was pleased to have discovered this collection of stories, which somehow has remained partially dormant since 2003.
• 
  Stephen Gallup

  Despite the subtitle, I bought this book expecting it to be more of a memoir than it actually is. I think Amy Tan's main purpose in writing it was to set the record straight on a variety of topics, beginning with an inaccurate summary of her life that turned up in an edition of CliffsNotes. She does so in essays that directly address the points that need to be made, and also tosses in other writings that range from a college commencement address to an item she wrote for the newspaper when eight years old.
  
  As such, it's somewhat disjointed and uneven. Some parts appealed to me much more than others.
  
  Early on, she provides some personal and family history, which includes plenty of elements readers will recognize from her fiction (a character who goes one day each year without speaking, for example, and most certainly the memorable voice of her mother). This is followed by a section in which she argues that readers ought not assume that her stories are autobiographical. (Maybe they aren't, but reading between the lines in yet another section one can conclude that she sees a self-portrait in The Kitchen God's Wife.) There's also an eloquent rebuttal to the people in publishing and educational circles who insist on pidgeon-holing her as a representative of her ethnic group, gender, color, etc. and looking to her for politically correct lessons. That kind of writing, she feels (and I agree) amounts to propaganda, not literature. She says, "I write stories about life as I have misunderstood it. To be sure, it's a Chinese-American life, but that's the only one I've had so far."
  
  There are points at which it seems the lady protests too much. She mentions a journalist friend who says, "Any attention is valuable ... If you receive any, you should be grateful." I rather agree with that as well, because Tan's path to literary success appears to have been unusually smooth. Better to be misunderstood by some harebrained people than completely ignored. This is not to suggest that she doesn't deserve success; she emphatically does. But she too acknowledges that she has been lucky.
  
  Her luck has not been only literary, since apparently she's had more than her share of close brushes with death. For me, the final section is devastating. It describes a mysterious illness that overtook her and the frustratingly slow process of getting a diagnosis. Because of
  the story described in my own book, I recognized her discovery that most doctors and even professional medical societies are clueless when presented with something out of the ordinary. I recognized the cynical but helpful voices she found on Internet discussion boards, and her conclusion that, rare or not, this thing afflicts a heck of a lot of other people.
  
  I found most of this book utterly fascinating. It sparked an interest in going back and rereading her novels. It reaffirmed an earlier impression that Amy Tan is someone I'd be glad to know (an impression that faded when I later visited her Facebook page). Most importantly, in discussing her life and what has been important to her, she shows how much of the joys and fears of this existence are common experiences.
• 
  Caitlin

  I write stories because I have questions about life, not answers. I believe life is mysterious and not dissectable . . . . I can't paraphrase or give succinct morals about love and hope, pain and loss. I have to use a mental longhand, ponder and work it out in the form of a story that is revised again and again, twenty times, a hundred times, until it feels true. I write for very much the same reasons that I read: to startle my mind, to church my heart, to tingle my spine, to knock the blinders off my eyes and allow me to see beyond the pale. [322]
  
  The Opposite of Fate by Amy Tan has long been one of my favorite books, so it's about time I reviewed it. This "memoir" is a collection of essays, speeches, and articles written over the course of many years, categorized into themed sections. Collectively they explore Tan's Chinese heritage, her childhood as the daughter of immigrants, and her journey to becoming a well-known author of American fiction (Tan prefers not to be categorized as a Chinese-American or Asian-American author, which she discusses in the essay "Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects." I like her reasons.).
  
  The essays converge on motifs of fate, hope, coincidence, and the possibility of redeeming the past--common subjects in Tan's novels. It is difficult to choose favorite essays as I feel they function best as a unit, but I particularly love "The Cliffnotes Version of My Life," "My Grandmother's Choice," "Fish Cheeks" and "Arrival Banquet." Tan's tone is conversational and often humorous, but her essays delve deep into questions of identity and purpose. She says,
  
  The stories I write concern the various beliefs I have held and lost and found at various times in my life . . . I realize those beliefs most often have had to do with hope: hope and expectation, hope and disappointment, loss and hope, fate and hope, death and hope, luck and hope. They [spring] from the questions I had as a child: How did that happen? What's going to happen? How can I make things happen? [111]
  
  I think that is why I love this book so much; it is a candid, well-written, and insightful look at life from many perspectives. It inspires empathy and thoughtfulness when relating to other people. I do not necessarily "agree" with all of the views/beliefs in this book, but I think the best books help you step outside of yourself and see things through another's eyes.
  
  AND in case that sounds too philosophical, I'll add that this book is also incredibly entertaining and funny! :) Let me know if you read it.
• 
  Kandice

  I have read all of Tan's books, usually within days of release, and this was a great way to "get to know her better". You can guess at a lot of her personal life just by reading her books, with the exception of
  Saving Fish from Drowning: A Novel, but it was still interesting to see just what was real and what was fiction.
  
  There was a lot of repetetiveness, but that was to be expected. It says right on the description that these are mostly personal essays and speeches written over a period of years. Things that are very important to you personally will keep coming up. Especially since those essays and speeches were originally meant as stand alones. It didn't bother me at all. Again, it just made it more clear which events had the biggest impact on Tan as a person, and in some cases, a writer.
  
  As much as I enjoyed each entry, with the exception of Required Reading and Other Dangerous Subjects which I found a little too "instructive", my favorite parts were her stories about the band she belongs to, The Rock Bottom Remainders. Stephen King is a member of that band and my favorite writer, so all the little things she said about him and his wife Tabby were like bonuses for me. I was thrilled to find those references where I had not expected them.
  
  The best entry, in my opinion, was The Opposite of Fate which chronicled her illness which went undiagnosed for years. She made it clear that doctors can make mistakes, and that we, as patients, have a responsibility and a right to do our own research. With the internet, information is available to us that our forefathers would have killed for. Actually, that some died without, to tell the truth. Had Tan not done her own research, after being told repeatedly, she had no known illness, she would not have been treated for a late stage case of Lyme disease that came very close to robbing us of her talent. I, for one, am very thankful for her stubborness and tenactiy. I would hate to lose her and can't wait to read whatever she writes next.
• 
  Lauren McDonald

  Reading this autobiography made me feel like I was meeting a friend for coffee while reading it. What a beautiful feeling from such an amazing American author
• 
  Joshua Gross

  This book started out well, but after awhile it became a little tiresome. This seems to be an almost random collection of essays written by Amy Tan for various reasons that get less and less interesting as I progressed. Some of them were really interesting, and I learned all kinds of things about Ms. Tan, but some of them were kind of similar to ones I'd already read, or were just long and not that interesting. Some of them were very very funny, though, and more than one were especially insightful. It was interesting reading about her process for writing her early books. There's quite a lot about the Joy Luck Club and The Kitchen God's Wife, but there's also a nice ghostly essay on her process for writing The Hundred Secret Senses that I enjoyed. If the essays had been chosen a little more carefully and there had been less of them I probably would not have grown so bored by the end.
• 
  Patricia

  Well written, interesting and informative. A very personal glimpse into Amy Tan’s life, history, and legacy. It’s gratifying to this reader to see how an author goes about constructing their work.
• 
  Madi Badger

  I don’t often love non-fiction, but Tan’s story of her life is so interesting, especially combined with her writing style. Loved this one!
• 
  Donna Davis

  Though bookstores and book clubs bill this as a memoir, it is really a collection of essays and speeches originally published for other purposes. Though I would love to read an actual autobiography written by Tan, this is an excellent anthology, and I cannot deny it the five stars it deserves.
  
  Tan writes about a wide range of experiences, from contracting Lyme disease to writing the screen play of The Joy Luck Club for Disney. It was nice to see somebody say something positive about Disney for once.
  
  But if there is one really urgent entreaty nestled amongst the wide variety of topics addressed here, it is this: Tan would like to be released from her pigeon hole. Though the large number of her books sold is both profitable and gratifying, she feels both awkward and a trifle outraged as well at having been labeled by the press, by school districts who require that her stories be read, and by any number of other sources as an Asian-American writer, or a writer of color. What, she asks, is required just to be called an American writer? She was born in the USA. It’s accurate to say that she has written a lot of stories, both fictional and true, about her mother, who was born in China. But Tan takes exception to being held up as the one person who is supposed to represent all Asian-American writers.
  
  One might imagine other Asian American writers would take even greater exception, if they could be heard.
  
  I confess that I am at least partially among the guilty, having created an Asian studies label on my own bookshelves. Actually, since I am married to a Japanese citizen, the titles written by and about Asian Americans are crowded by vastly more titles written in Japanese, which take a number of bookcases all by themselves. This is not something that happens in most American homes. But yes, I have also regarded Tan as an Asian-American writer, and she is right in saying that regardless of pigmentation or ethnic background, her prose has won her a place on our shelves. Marketing be damned.
  
  I reflected a bit here. My youngest daughter is half Japanese, half Caucasian. We named her for her Japanese grandmother, and we started attempting to teach her Japanese when she was quite young. She has been to Japan and met relatives there. Yet she would rather be regarded as an American rather than an Asian-American. She pointed out to me that my own side of her counts too; does anyone call her an Irish-American because one parent is of Irish descent?
  
  The score stands at parents 0, offspring 1.
  
  But Tan also reminds us that our lives are not about what has happened to us—and she certainly does a fine job of recounting her own varied, sometimes bizarre experiences—but about whether we take charge of them. In the final essay, “The Opposite of Fate”, she contracts Lime disease and it continues to ravage her health and interfere with her writing until she does a comprehensive web-crawl and diagnoses it herself. Leaving the mystery for physicians to unravel hasn’t helped, and so she does what needs doing. That having been done, the official, medical diagnosis and treatment are fairly straight-forward. The cure isn’t easy or quick, but progress is made steadily. She took ownership of her problem, advocated for herself, and received treatment.
  
  Though the message inherent in the title seems obvious, I find it powerful. Most of us know someone—perhaps even in the family—who seems to ride through life helpless and riddled with excuses for everything. There is nothing for these folks that can’t wait another day, and sometimes another and yet another. They don’t “do” things; things “happen”.
  
  I confess it makes me crazy.
  
  Thus I found Tan’s essays keenly satisfying. She tells hilarious stories sometimes, while others are poignant, but all of them involve decisions at some level, though not always up front and pointed. She doesn’t preach, but she also doesn’t duck and cover. When life presents challenges, she rises to meet them.
  
  One could, of course, say that in publishing these stories, she has created a powerful example for Asian-American girls. But one really shouldn’t.
  
  Because the fact is, she has presented a strong, positive example for everybody.
  
  
  
• 
  Noreen

  First time I’ve heard of an author approving the movie version of their book. Explains the complicated process of turning a complete book into a movie.
  
  There are no words for certain emotions and concepts, added to cultural translation concepts between languages it is amazing humans learned to love and live together at all.
  
  Thank you Amy Tan.
  
  
  
• 
  Eva

  After reading her memoir and finding out that so much in her books was based on her life, I empathized with Tan even more. I especially loved the stories about her mother's dementia, as it shows the true connection between mother and daughter. The answer to "When will you be home?" is not a specific time and date, but "We're almost home, because we love you so so much and can't wait to see you."
  Parts of the memoir were funny, parts were truly sad, but I also empathized with Tan's childhood (although maybe not the Swiss boyfriend and travelling across Europe).
  I love the story where Tan was 14 and crushing on the minister's son, whose family her dad invited over to dinner. Not only did Tan's mother serve the most Asian, weird-looking foods, but her family also belched loudly and said that this was the Chinese custom to show that you are satisfied. Only later did Tan learn the moral behind the dinner: her mother had prepared all her favorite foods.
  Amy Tan was a dreamer, just like me. When she was in middle/high school, she would always be the one standing awkwardly on the sidelines who never got asked to dance, dreaming of being called on stage by the lead singer and being a STAR. Being chosen, and not neglected. Glamorous and not ungainly. Exotic.
  And then in 1993, when she joined a rockand roll band with some other authors like Barbara Kingsolver and Stephen King, she got to be a real rockstar.
  Gives me hope.
• 
  Imas

  Buku ini lebih pas dibaca oleh orang yang sudah pernah membaca karya-karya Amy Tan. Aku sudah membaca 3 buku Amy, and love all of it. Karena buku ini adalah karya nonfiksi pertama Amy tentang perjalanan hidup yang membentuk dirinya sebagai manusia dan sebagai penulis. Bagaimana ia melepaskan diri dari masa lalu dan menggapai takdirnya sendiri. Buku yang ditulis Amy terinspirasi dari kehidupan Amy dan keluarganya, terutama ibu dan neneknya.
  
  Membaca buku ini, seolah-olah mendengarkan Amy bercerita tentang dirinya seperti layaknya seorang teman. Buku ini semacam memoir, tapi dengan bahasa yang mengalir, tidak dilebih-lebihkan atau diindah-indahkan, layaknya percakapan yang mengasyikkan.
  
• 
  Amanda

  I loved 'The Joy Luck Club' and 'The Kitchen God's Wife', so it was fascinating to read this collection of pieces which give a perspective to Amy Tan, the writer. Because it is a collection of essays, speeches and musings, it can be a little repetitive, but it is nonetheless an interesting read.
  
  She touches on her cultural background and the events in her life that make her the person she is. She also takes on the labelling of people by their perceived gender or cultural background, and also how misinformation is so easily disseminated and quoted as fact in this digital age.
• 
  Isabella

  This book was extraordinary. I originally stated this novel as part of a reading project where I was required to read a memoir, and after searching through my bookshelf, happened upon this very book. Tan provides insights on many different subjects she holds dear in her life, including the relationship she had with her mother and how much she cherishes the golden moments. Definitely a must read for any writer. Now I have to read her other works!
• 
  Julie Wienke

  If you've ever read an Amy Tan book, this offers delightful insight on how she creates her characters, taking from a colorful, offtimes humorous, band of family members. It also offers a behind-the-scenes look at what writers experience in order to provide their readers with works worth investing the time to read.
• 
  Marnie

  I have read a few of Amy Tan books, and I enjoy them immensely. I found this biography book by her, funny at times and enjoyable to read. Interesting to learn a bit how she comes up with the novels that she writes. And I certainly hope that she continues.
• 
  Daye L.

  This thoughtful essay ruminates on the the social complexities of the English language when used by immigrants in an English speaking county. Topics such respect, linguistic intimacy, and the possible unconscious societal expectation that may guide decision are pondered-and brilliantly so.
• 
  Sheila

  Good book – she writes a self-deprecating memoir. Her family history was very interesting.
• 
  aisha

  i didn’t write a literary analysis on this for nothing 😐
• 
  Annie Su

  This book is an amalgamation of various nonfiction short stories, speeches, emails, letters, and bits of writing centered on Amy Tan's life.
  
  I like that she closed a commencement address with "I wish you interesting lives."
  
  I feel down a rabbit hole reading about the very niche particulars of her upbringing, the depressive and suicidal tendencies of her mother, the tragedies of her adolescence, the strange auspiciousness and superstition that she believes in--all of it traces and fills an outline of who Amy Tan is.
  
  I like her honesty and candidness, her worldview, and her ability to weave stories and floating thoughts.
  
  -- for future (personal) reference. may contain spoilers ? --
  "The stories we love to read may very well have to do with our emotional obsessions, the circuitry between our brain and our heart, the questions we thought about as children, that we still think about, whether they are about the endurance of love, the fears that unite us, the acceptance of irreversible decay, or the ties that bind that turn out to be illusory."
  
  "By continuing to read and write, though, I gradually changed. But it was not through deconstruction. It was through an awareness that each writer has a distinct consciousness, attentiveness, inventiveness, and relationship to the world, both real and fictional. I discovered that the short story is a distillation of all that."
  
  "By the end of the story, what I've witnessed and experienced as reader is so interesting, so intense, so transcendent that if someone were to ask me what the story was about, I would not be able to distill it into an easy answer. It would be a sacrilege for me to say what it is about, say, survival or hope or the endlessness of love. For the whole story is what the story is about, and there is no shorthanding it. I can only say please read it yourself.
  If this collection holds a common thread with regard to my tastes, it is what I think the best is by its nature and its virtues. It can enlarge us by helping us notice small details in life. It can remind us to distrust absolute truths, to dismiss cliches, to both desire and fear stillness, to see the world freshly from closer up or farther away, with a sense of mystery or acceptance, discontent or hope, all the while remembering that there are so many possibilities, and that this was only one.
  The best stories do change us. They help us live interesting lives."
• 
  Karen Floyd

  This is a wonderful collection of essays, and other non-fiction writings, from novelist Amy Tan. She talks about her life, her mother and father, and her family history, and reveals how the things that happened to her and to her family have impacted her novels. She tells us about her writing process and how she came to write her first few novels. "The Joy Luck Club" started life as a collection of short stories, since Tan began her writing life as a short story writer. One essay talks about the process of making that book into a film. (I'm going to have to find and watch that now, though I think I'll re-read the book first. It's been a while.) She reminisces, wonders, questions, unafraid to talk about difficult things. Though she sometimes considers herself "cranky," her wry, sometimes deadpan, humor shines through. This book was originally published in 2003, and has recently been re-released, so it doesn't cover her more recent work or life.
• 
  Melissa Kite

  It was interesting to see that just because a literature class wants to find symbolism in a writing, does not mean that this is anything what the author had intended. The book was insightful and thoughtful. I especially appreciated that she rightfully insists that she is an American author, and that all Asian writings shouldn’t be lumped together just because the authors’ heritage comes from a shared continent However, it was also a bit meandering, repetitive, and lost a bit of steam, especially at the end.