| Title | : | The Five Love Languages of Children |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1881273652 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781881273653 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 224 |
| Publication | : | First published May 28, 1995 |
Since 1992, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book "The 5Love Languages" has helpedmillions of couples develop stronger, more fulfilling relationships by teaching them to speak each others' love language. Each child, too, expresses and receives love through one of five different communication styles. And your love language may be totally different from that of your child. While you are doing all you can to show your child love, he may be hearing it as something completely opposite. Discover your child's primary language and learn what you can do to effectively convey unconditional feelings of respect, affection, and commitment that will resonate in your child's emotions and behavior.
"
The Five Love Languages of Children Reviews
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The concept of the five love languages is very inspiring, and it was fun to figure out which is the best way to express my love to each of my kids. Of course it’s not that simple, not that black and white: they – just like everyone else – are multilingual. The five love languages may seem oversimplified, and some examples fabricated, but the book has its merits. It’s about love after all.
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This book is brilliant! Beyond the fact that this is a book about how to love your child in the way that he or she best identifies and recognizes as love...because that alone is a smart and beautiful undertaking, this book begins by introducing the concept of learning to speak your child's love language and then includes a gentle list of things to remember about children.
In this book, Chapman and Campbell explain each of the five ways a child expresses and receives love. They explain how to identify your child's primary love language and provide numerous examples of how to speak it through various actions targeting specific age groups. Guidance is also given for using this method when there is a need to discipline and when teaching life rules to young children.
A perfect gift for a mother of young children, I wish I had read this earlier. This will be my go-to gift this year. Though I was already aware of the love languages for marriage, I hadn't considered this for children. Upon reading this, it was painfully obvious which languages my two speak (both different) and what I can do differently. I will follow up and note later if some adjustments I plan to make effect change. Also, the copy I read was reprinted in 2016 and has a more modern cover. 5 stars. -
Immediately, I realized that I wasn't meeting each of my children's individual love need. I thought my son's main love language was physical touch but it's also words of affirmation. This is so obvious in that he is always touching, always wrestling, and always in your personal space and now that I realize it he's also always asking if everything is ok, did he do this ok, am I all right and he is so happy after receiving positive words of affirmation from myself and my husband. After reading Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell's tips, I began to incorporate more touch into every moment that I was near my son and a lot more words of affirmation. Whenever he is near, my hand can be found on his head, his back, or engaging in learning manners such as shaking hands. I have learned to use touch in all of his learning activities and his acting out has gone down considerably as well as his verbal skills have soared.
My daughter was a little harder to discover but I quickly discovered that her love languages are acts of service and time. She wants to be with you yet she wants to do something with you. Playing games with her, baking with her, doing crafts with her, and even cleaning or doing laundry together are all reaching her needs. She also loves to work on Punky Monkey Misisons projects together like crocheting, passing out Blessed to Bless bags to the needy and taking food to the homeless.
As a mom, I found that The 5 Love Languages of Children was one of the best books I could have read. I wish I would have had this as a new mom! Gary Champan and Ross Campbell use biblical principles, personal illustrations, and personal application to really open up your eyes to your child's needs. I highly recommend this book to any parent - new or old. It might just be the charge your family needs to go from average to exemplary. If every child had their love languages met just think of what a better place we would live in. -
I've read the original 5 Love Languages and so this one was sort of a waste of my time. I did find some valuable tips and interesting insights, but the 5 languages are the same for kids as adults, so it was the same book all over again. With an adult, you can say, "Here honey, take this quiz to let me know what your primary love language is." With kids, you can't do that as easily. This book (politely) says to the reader, "Hey, dummy. Try quality time and see how your kid responds. Then try words of affirmation and observe. Then try…" Now I told you the secret and you don't have to read this book. Probably the most helpful part was the chapter on discipline and the love languages. The fact that if you use their love language against them, it can be traumatizing. When their language is physical touch and you spank them, it's devastating. If their language is quality time and you send them to their room, they're crushed. To another kid, being sent to their room is play time. It was a good reminder to be sensitive to love languages when your kid misbehaves. Most times when your children misbehave, it's because they're asking for love anyway.
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مراجعة كتاب لغات الحب الخمس التي يستخدمها الأطفال
جاري تشابمان
روس كامبل
وصلتني رسالة على بريدي الإلكتروني من الأخ خليل لمكتبة القراء البحرينيين، شدني عنوان الكتاب وعلى الرغم من أنني لست قارئة إلكترونية أن صح التعبير إلا أنني بدأت في قراءة الكتاب، كلمة شدتني لنهاية السطر وما أنهيه السطر حتى يأخذني السطر الآخر بقوة.
لطالما أمنت بأن الحب هو نبض العلاقات هو روح العلاقات المؤسسة لحياة سعيدة، ولأسباب كثيرة نعلمها أحيانًا ونجهلها أحيانا كثيرة لا نوفق لتلك السعادة في بعض الفترات.
أتحدث الآن من قلب أم وقفت كثيرًا متسائلة عن الكيفية التي تمكنها من الوصول إلى قلب أحد أبنائها، متسائلة عن سبب غضبهم في اغلب الأوقات؟ وكيف بإمكانهم التنفيس عن غضبهم دون أن يؤذوا المحيطين!؟ كيف بإمكاني مساعدتهم وجعلهم قريبين !!؟ ما هي أسباب كل ذلك !؟
أجابني الكتاب عبر فصول قائلًا : عزيزتي أنكِ لا تتحدثين لغة الحب الخاصة بطفلك، فَّفَّرغ خزان الحب لديه فتمرد في سلوكه ليلفت نظرك، أنه يحتاج لملأ ذلك الخزان من جديد بالحب ليستطيع أن يواصل الحياة فبدونه الحب هو ضعيف من الداخل.
- أحبهم جميعًا وأحاول جاهدة أن أكون منصفة في تعاملي!!.
- نعم ولكن تتحدثين لغة حب واحدة قد لا يفهمها جميعهم فهناك يا عزيزتي خمس لغات للحب
-خمس لغات للحب ، وما هي!؟
1- التلامس الجسدي.
2- كلمات التوكيد.
3- الهدايا.
4- أعمال الخدمة.
5- الوقت النوعي.
فابحثي بين صفحاتي كيف يمكنك أن تتعلمي التحدث بتلك اللغات جميعًا وكيف تكتشفي لغة الحب الخاصة بأبنائك فكل إنسان يحتاج الخمس لغات ولكن هناك لغة واحدة ما تشعره أن محبوب.
تلك اللغات مكتوبة بكلمات بسيطة لأفكار متسلسلة تأخدك تدريجيًا لإستيعاب الفكرة والجميل هو أرشادك إلى مراجع أخرى في حال الرغبة في الاستزادة، النماذج للحالات الحقيقية التي مرت على الكاتب بحكم وظيفته كدكتور نفسي دعمت الافكار بشكل جدًا قوي.
أنصح كل أم وأب وزوج وزوجة يتطلعون إلى حياة أكثر راحة بقراءة الكتاب.
** لا انسى ان اتقدم بالشكر للجهود المبذولة في المكتبة الإلكترونية لتحدي القراء البحرينيين.
أمل سالم
20/03/2016م -
I am a blue, type - A, ESTJ, who likes to be shown love through quality time, and likes long walks on the beach and....WAIT, no I'm not. I'm Karen, a girl with lots of personality quirks, one of which is that I dislike pop psychology books that tell me I and everyone else fits into one of their created, ficticious descriptions. I have to admit, I didn't even finish this book (I did read almost all of it though). Probably most of us are familiar with the five love languages, they have enjoyed being very discussed pop psychology for the past 10 years. This book applies those same love languages to children. My issue is not with this book specifically, but with the idea in general. All this labeling, catagorizing, pigeon-holing, and simplifing people, into tidy little groups. I know we all have similarities, but if you really want to love someone, get to know them. It takes time and effort, but that would be a better use of your time than reading this book.
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This book, like the other "Five Languages of Love" book, takes an interesting concept that could have been detailed in a 3-5 page essay but is instead stretched miserably with vague example stories and filler recaps so they could publish an entire book. Also, the section that declared that not all women work, so they should talk to their husbands about receiving a monthly budget to buy them gifts was particularly weird.
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ليس من الصواب إظهار محبتنا لأطفالنا فقط عندما يكونون متفوقين أو مميزين، ولكن هناك حاجة ملّحة وضرورية كي أقول لطفلي أنت مهم، ومحبوب بالنسبة ليّ بغض النظر عن مدى إنجازاتك، حتى ولو أخفقت أو لم تنجز الكثير فأنت بالنسبة ليّ تعني الكثير، أنت بالنسبة ليّ أهم إنسان في هذا الوجود.
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There are some real problems with this book. I finished it, because there were a few helpful nuggets I could take away, but in general, I have some serious objections.
First, maybe I live under a rock, but it's not immediately apparent from the front cover, back blurb, or early chapters that this book has religious undertones. Religious nonfiction is great for some people and has an important place, but, as I've said with novels that try to sneak a message in in the last quarter, be upfront about it. No mention of religion in the first four chapters, then one mention in chapter five, and three in chapter seven strikes me as dishonest.
Second, like many self-help books, this presents a one-perfect-solution sell. If we only love our children hard enough, problems will miraculously vanish. The "scenarios" presented are patently ridiculous: children are instantly repentant and apparently change their ways when presented with loving correction.
Third, the book fails to mention that there might be something actually wrong with your child. Every parenting book should include, regularly throughout the book, that if your child doesn't respond within a few weeks, that you should request a referral or further medical observation.
For example: "The mishandling of anger is related to every present and future problem your child may have-- from poor grades to damaged relationships to possible suicide... Most of life's problems will be averted and your child will be more able to use anger to his advantage, rather than have it work against him" (p. 160). It is my uneducated opinion as his parent that my child's problems are almost exclusively related to his anxiety, his ADHD, his hearing deficiency, and his vision problems. All of these affect his schooling to a much greater degree.
If this book is to be of any value, it would be to first-time parents of very young children who are expected to be neurotypical. -
لقد شاركت عدة مقتطفات من كتاب مع اصدقائي من شدة إعجاب به.لن أتحدث عن مفهوم ل��ات الحب الخمسة التي طرحها .لانني قرأت كتابه فكنت متوقعة .
الذي أعجبني في هذا الكتاب هي الفصول الاخيرة المتعلقة ب
التأديب و العقاب
الحب و الغضب
السلوك العدواني و العصيان
كيف تتعامل مع الالام الفقد لدى الاطفال و العيش في بيت ذات والد واحد.
هذه أسئلة اتعرض لها برشا في محيط العمل أو في محيط أسري بالاعتبار أنني إخصائية في رعاية الصحية للأطفال كنت اقدم اجوبة الحمد الله كانت صائبة .مستعينة بالدراسة و بما قرأت
لكن هذا الكتاب جعلتني انتبه لجزئية املأ الخزان بالحب ثم تعال و نحدث عن سلوك طفل سئ أو تاديب طفل.
و جزئية تعامل مع غضب الأطفال
أرشج لكل شخص مهتم بتربية عسى أن نكون أكثر وعيًا
9/juin/21❤🌸 -
إنتهيت من قراءة كتاب لغات الحب الخمس التي يستخدمها الأطفال
المؤلف: جاري تشامبل و روس كامبل
عدد الصفحات :2015
دار النشر وسنة النشر :مكتبة جرير 2014
تاريخ القراءة 10 مارس 2015
وقعت عيناي على هذا الكتاب أثناء تجولي في مكتبة جرير في الظهران في يناير الفائت حيث لقت انتباهي عنوان الكتاب ففتخته واخذت اتصفح فهرسه حتى اعجبت به وقررت قراءته وحقيقة لم يخب ظني في الكتاب
يتحدث الكتاب عن تصنيف لغات الحب عند الأطفال الى 5 لغات وهي
1. التلامس الجسدي
2. كلمات التوكيد
3. الوقت النوعي
4. الهدايا
5. الخدمات
اولا التلامس الجسدي
هو بإختصار استشعاى الطفل واستئناسه بأن والديه يداعبان جسده ويمسحان على شعره وينظران اليه بحنان فيعتبر الطفل بأنه محبوب لان والديه دائما ما يداعبانه
ثانيا كلمات التوكيد
هي الاطراء والمديح والتعبير عن الحب لفظيا فيعتبر الطفل بءن ابواه يحبانه اذا تلقى عاطفة لفظية منهما
ثالثا الوقت النوعي
وهو ان يبذل الوالدان وقتا مع الطفل يحس فيه بوجودهما معه من قبيل لعب الكرة او الخروج في نزهة معا فيحس الطفل بأنه محبوب يسبب مشاركة ابويه له في وقته
رابعا الهدايا
وهي الهبات والعطايا المقدمة للطفل فيحس الطفل بانه محبوب لان ايواه كثيرا مايقدامام له العابا او هدايا
خامسا الخدمات
وهي قضاء بعض الحاجات فمثلا يحس الطفل انه محبوب عندما يجد والده قام بإصلاح دراجته المتعطله او ايصاله الى لقاء اصدقاءه في عطلة نهاية الأسبوع
ثم يتطرق الكاتب الى ان لغة الحب باي من الطرق ال 5 اعلاه يجب ان لا تعبر عن حب مشروط بل يجب ان يكون حب صافي نقي
فمثلا لا اذا كانت لغة حب الطفل هي كلمات التوكيد فيجب الا تقول له احبك فقط عندما يحرز درجات عالية في المدرسة واذا كانت لغة حبه الخدمات فلا تربط اداء تلك الخدمات بشىء بل أجعلها مجردة فلا تقل له سوف اصلح درجاتك اذا احرزت علامة كاملة في الامتحان مثلا وهلم جرا من بقية التطبيقات على باقي اللغات
ويتحدث الكاتب عن مبدأ مهم وهو العقوبة والتأديب غن طريق الحب للطفل وكيفية بناء شخصيته وجعله مستقلا ويحذر من ان تعاقب الطفل بلغة حبه حيث سيكون العقاب اشد صرامة على قلب الطفل لانه يتخدث تلك اللغة
فمثلا اذا كانت لغة حب طفلك هي الوقت النوعي فمتى ما ارتكب هذا الطفل خطأ فلا تعاقبه بالابتعاد عنه او حبسه في غرفة منفردة واذا كانت لغته هي التلامس الجسدي فانك بضربه تكون قد آلمته بشكل فظبع جدا وما الى ذلك
ثم يتحدث الكاتب عن تطبيقات لغات الحب علة الحياة وفوائدها ويضع اختبارا لكيفية قياس وتحديد لغة الحب التي يتحدثها طفلك
شخصيا من خلال قرائتي للكتاب لا اجد ان الطفل يتحدث لغة واحدة بعينها بل انها اقرب للمزيج من اللغات الخمس بنسب مقسمة بينها وبالتالي سوف اختبر طفلي حتى احدد كم نسبة حديثه بكل لغة حتى اتعامل معه بنفس تلك النسبة
انصح كل اب و ام بقراءة الكتاب واعطيه خمس نجوم
والله ولي التوفيق
أخوكم
إبراهيم عواچي
10 مارس 2016
السنابس .
#البحرين_تقرأ_ألف_كتاب
#لأن_حياة_واحدة_لا_تكفي
#تربية#طفل#كندل
#تكندل_ويانا -
With any book that's designed to help parents be better parents for their kids, it's easy to fall into the trap of defining the success of the book by whether its advice was successful in the reader's family. The fact that every child is different is actually the highlight of this book. This helps people understand why two kids might react completely differently to the same gifts, the same activities, and the same punishments. It has to do with how the people involved show and express love.
Most of the explanations from this "5 Love Languages" book were more instructive to me than the examples from Gary Chapman's main book in this vein,
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.
One problem: I expected this book to help with my toddler. In the book, Chapman and Campbell say that if the child is under the age of 5 that I should just not try to figure out the love language. They also say that parents should not discipline or punish the child with methods related to the child's love language. (E.g., a child in dire need of Quality Time could be emotionally damaged by punishing them with isolation.) This presents a problem: I am not to discipline in my child's love language, but I can't know what my child's language is until he's older? Should I simply hope that my discipline tactics are not in the same language as my son's understanding of love?
Sadly, the authors do not offer a solution to this. It seems that the book is geared primarily toward school-aged children. Still, the advice seems good and I'd hate to fault the book with a lower rating simply because of the book's scope. I wish the publisher had clarified the appropriate age range of the book in its list description. -
أحلم بيومٍ يستطيع فيه كل اﻷطفال أن يكبروا في بيوتٍ مليئةٍ بالحبّ واﻷمان ، حيث يمكن لطاقاتهم النامية أن توجّه إلى التعلّم والخدمة بدﻻً من اﻻلتماس والبحث عن الحب الذي لم يجدوه في المنزل
هذا الكتاب يساعد في أن يصبح الحلم حقيقة للعديد من اﻷطفال ، ويساعد على بناء عﻻقات أسرية مستقرة ، وتطبيق قواعده تؤدي بالضرورة لنشوء مجتمع سليم عن طريق اﻻعتناء باﻷسرة ،من اصغر فرد فيها حتى اﻷب واﻷم ، والتي هي الأساس لمجتمع متوازن وقويّ -
I am really torn over what I thought of this book. While I like the concepts and I think it had valuable information I had a hard time with it. For some reason I couldn't get into the writing style. I constantly found my mind wandering and having to go back and re-read portions. The last several parenting books that I have read have been very readable so I found this hard to reconcile.
For the most part I felt like the "love languages" were well explained but in the later chapters when examples are given of putting it into action the authors would say things like: speak their love language and then introduce the discipline and then speak their love language to end the conversation. The problem I have with this is what if their love language is "gifts" or "acts of service"? You give them a gift discipline them and then give them another gift? Sew a button on their shirt discipline them and then help them clean their room? It didn't make sense to me.
My other big hang up was that the book began by saying that it's hard to determine the love language of children 5 and under. My oldest is 5. I didn't feel like this book applied to my family. Most of the examples sounded like conversations with teenagers, and yet their is another book titled "The Five Love Languages of Teenagers". I feel like I would have gotten more out of reading the book about couples and then applying some of what I read to the rest of my family.
All of this being said I still put the book on CD on hold at the library for my brother because I think it would be beneficial for him with his 9 and 11 year-old (and possibly the 7 year old too). It did bring a few tears to my eyes when I thought back to my childhood and realized why I never really felt loved by my parents because they have never spoken my love language to me. I KNOW that they love me and reading this helped me forgive them for some lingering feelings I have. After all they have no idea why I would not feel loved, they did their best.
This is getting really long. I could say more but I think you get the general idea. Valuable information, didn't love the writing. -
Nesu skaitanti daug tokio tipo knygų, bet karts nuo karto kažkokia patraukia vis mano dėmesį. Apie šią tiek gerų atsiliepimų bei rekomendacijų teko girdėti. Pamaniau, jog tikriausiai ne šiaip sau. O kaip geriausia įsitikinti? Perskaityti pačiai! 🤭
Šioje knygoje Garis Čapmanas bei jo kolega Rosas Kempbelas, kuris 37 metus dirbo psichiatrijos srityje, atskleidžia penkias meilės kalbas. Tai tarsi kursai tėvams, kurių dėka jie gebės geriau suprasti savo vaikus, bei suteikti jiems tą meilės rūšį, kurios vaikai tikisi sulaukti iš savo tėvų. Jei Jūsų vaiko emocijų rezervuaras bus pilnas, jis jausis saugus bei mylimas. Bus daug lengviau jį drausminti ir lavinti, nei tada, kuomet rezervuaras baigia ištuštėti.
"Kiekvienas vaikas turi emocijų rezervuarą - emocinio pajėgumo saugyklą, - iš kurios jis, tarsi kuro, semiasi stiprybės turtingomis iššūkių vaikystės ir paauglystės dienomis. Kaip automobiliai juda tik dėl degalų kuro bake, taip ir mūsų vaikai varomi kuru iš savo emocijų "bako". Mes privalome pripilti kuro į vaikų emocijų bakus, idant jie galėtų veikto panaudodami visą savo potencialą. "
Nenoriu daug išsiplėsti, tačiau manau, jog verta pasakyti, jog norėčiau, kad kuo daugiau tėvų perskaitytų šią knygą ❤️ Tikrai puiki knyga tiek savo turiniu, tiek jo pateikimu. Viskas konkrečiai bei aiškiai pateikta, jog papildomų klausimų net nekyla. Išmokime savo vaikams suprantama meilės kalba pasakyti "aš myliu tave". -
Now that you know my love language, will you use it against me? Seriously, compartamentalizing love into five expressions is a bit limited. To some it may help to understand why those "special" people don't meet our expectations, and how to accept their love expression (even though it may not mean much to my love language receptor). I was one of the unusual ones that couldn't figure out my love language... sort of like those personality/gift tests (dinc) that put me in the "I don't know" range. Just think how frustrated my wife must be?!? Maybe there are 5 more love languages out there we have not discovered yet...
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This was fine. I'm super familiar with the love languages, so I don't really know what I thought would be different about this book. It was literally the exact same thing, just with examples pertaining to kids and then some thoughts later about how these apply to learning and discipline and so on. It did say that in kids under 5, it is impossible to tell what their love language is, so in some ways major parts of the book didn't apply to me yet since my kids are 3 & 5. It was good food for thought but nothing that will revolutionize my parenting or anything.
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يتكون العنوان من 3 كلمات أساسية
لغة وحب وأطفال
اللغة : وهي أساس التواصل بين الاأفراد
الحب : تعريفي للحب هو الحياة السوية ... أما تعليقي عليه فهو مدى ظلم هذه الكلمة وهذا الشعور وبوتقتها في شيء واحد والحديث عنها في أمر واحد
الحب هو الحياة نعم وبالحب يزهر كل شيء والانسان الذي لا يستطيع أن يحب أو يحب هو انسان غير سوي
لو نركز قليلا في جميع مشكلات الحياة سنجد أنها الأنانية والكره وغياب الحب
الأطفال : كلمة طفل كلمة تشبه الحب وتساويه في الجمال والأنس وكل شيء
فالطفل يعني الفطرة ويعني النشء ويعني نقطة البداية ...وهو أساس المجتمع فبصلاحه يصلح والعكس صحيح
أما الكتاب المقسم الى 12 جزء فهو يتحدث عن لغات الحب الذي قسمها إلى خمسوهي
التلامس الجسدي 2- كلمات التوكيد 3- الوقت النوعي 4- الهدايا 5- أعمال الخدمة
أجزاء الكتاب
أولا :الحب هو الأساس ...يرى الكاتب أن الاحساس بمحبة الوالدين والمحيطين بالطفل شيء أساسي لنموه بشكل طبيعي ولكي يستطيع الاندماج في المجتمع ويكون له تأثير ايجابي
ثم ينطلق الكاتب في تفصيل لغات الحب
التلامس الجسدي : يرى الكاتب أن هناك بعض الأطفال لغة حبهم الأساسية هي التربيت على كتفهم والمسح على رؤوسهم والاهتمام بهم
كلمات التوكيد : هناك نوع من الأطفال يحس أنه محبوب حين يثنى عليه وحين تشجيعه وأكثر ما يحسسه بغير هذا هو نقده
الوقت النوعي : بعض الأطفال لا يحسون بحب الوالدين الا إذا قضوا معهم وقت أطول وخصصوا لهم وقت لممارسة شيء يحبونه معهم
الهدايا : بعض الأطفال يحسون بحب من حولهم اذا وفروا لهم بين الحين والآخر هدية مهما كانت قيمتها
أعمال الخدممة : وهذا النوع يحس بالحب حين يساعده الآخرون في أعماله
وفي كل نوع فصل الكاتب وضرب أمثلة وقصص حية لبفاكتشاف الآباء لغة حب طفلهم الأساسية وكيف أن معرفتها أحدثت فارق في حياتهم
سابعا وبعد تفصيل لغات الحب : كيفية اكتشاف لغة حب طفلك الأساسية
فصل الكاتب في هذا وبين ان وجود لغة حب اساسية لا تعني عدم الاهتمام باللغات الاخرى بل هو فقط يجب التركيز عليها
ثامنا : التأديب ولغات الحب
تحدث الكاتب عن علاقة طريقة التأديب بلغة الحب وبأن التأديب شيء ضروري وليس سيء
تاسعا : التعلم ولغات الحب
عاشرا : الغضب والحب
كان هذا الجزء جميل كثيرا وأعتقد أن الكاتب أبدع فيه وانصح بقراءته
الحادي عشر :الحديث بلغات الحب في العائلات ذات الوالد الواحد
وهنا عن العائلات التي تعرضت للطلاق أو توفي احد الوالدين وكيفية تأمين الحب للابناء ولو في ظروف الوالد الذي قد يكون منكسر وكيف يمكنه الاستعانة بمن حوله
الثاني عشر : الحديث بلغات الحب في العلاقة الزوجية
أعجبني هذا الجزء كثيرا ولم أتوقع أن الغرب يولي اهتمام للأسرة والوالدين
فعلا أساس البيت هو توافق الأزواج وهنا أرى أنه على الشباب أن يعطي موضوع الأسرة أهمية أكبر ويخطط له من أن يراها فقط كمشاعر ثم زواج ولتسبح الأسرة في واد من الفوضى والصراعات بين الذكر والأنثى والآخر يراقب الثاني ويحاسبه والأبناء يبحثون عن الحب في الخارج لتعود العجلة معوجة وتبقى في اعوجاج
وأخيرا الخاتمة التي أتحفها الكاتب بالتفاتة رائعة وهي على الوالدين الذين كبر أبناءهم وربما تزوجوا حتى ويرون شلخ في علاقتهم بهم فلا ضير في ان يعملوا لترقيع هذه العلاقة ولحاق ما يمكن لحاقه
الكتاب بالنسبة لي لا يمكن أن أقول كان مفيد لأنه لا يمكنني تطبيقه على أرض الواقع حاليا ويترك هذا لأصحاب الأسر
مع أنني بالاسقاط فقط وبعض المواقف البسيطة مع الصغار أراه نافع بقراءته
لكنه كان رائع وممتع على الاقل
أنصح به كل أب وأم أو مقبل على الانجاب أو فضولي مثلي
وللكاتب كتاب عن لغات الحب لدى البالغين لا اعلم ان كان مترجم او بجودة هذا
هههه لولا موقفي من عدم التقييم لقيمته ب 4 نجوم والنجمة الناقصة لأنني لا أؤمن بالكمال -
I have always been a fan of Love Languages for myself and my husband. It really helped me to understand my husband and I really believe in the 5 love languages. After reading this for children, I had a child rearing EPIPHANY! I was always curious how siblings raised in the same house by the same parents and same set of rules could turn out so different. I understand now that they are all receiving love different. You can be the “best” mom ever, cook, clean, car pool, be kind, happy and love your child and your child still act like a little shit. Why? Cause they don’t see those things as love. They receive love differently. I learned I was loving my eldest son wrong. I was helping with with school (acts of service), telling him he’s so smart and handsome ( words of affirmation), Xbox games ( gifts), planning and driving him to sleepovers (acts of service), telling him what an amazing athlete he is ( words of affirmation), making him homemade waffles every morning ( acts of service), he was still being a little shit. I learned none of those meant anything to him, his love language is quality time. He just wanted to sit on the couch and chat, watch him jump on the trampoline ( so boring for me, but he loved it), or walk with me to the mailbox and talk. After I realized that, it was like a light bulb. I was always taking him to the park or sitting outside, but I was always reading a book or on my phone. That’s not quality time. He was a new kid, I couldn’t believe it. It was right in front of me, and for 11 years I chose to love him how I thought, not what he needed.
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I was all set to give this book at least 4 stars until the last 6 minutes of the audiobook when the co-author, Ross Campbell, called his own daughter “profoundly r*t*rded.” Seriously? Now, I know this book was originally published in 1997, but the audiobook I listened to was published in 2016. You’re telling me that in 19 years, you couldn’t have gone back and changed 1 word? I know Campbell died 4 years before this audio was published, but he was also a child psychiatrist and still used that word? The other author is still alive and you’d think between him and the publishing company, someone would’ve had the sense to edit.
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3.5 Stars This had a lot of good information and helped me to see what my children's love languages are, but I think it could have been half the length. I felt like they added extra chapters at the end, especially the one for single parents and the children of divorce horror stories, just to fill up the pages.
Popsugar Challenge 2020 - A book with a made-up language -
Gayet egitici ve bilgilendirici buldum. Düşünmediğimiz alanlari da icine alarak sevgiyi insanlara iletme yöntemleri uzerine cok detayli bilgiler yer aliyor.
Ozellikle cocugumla hemen birkac deneme yaptim ve hemen olumlu yinde sonuc aldim. -
I appreciate the aims of this book. My biggest worry as a parent--or rather, ONE of my many biggest--is that my daughter will not feel sufficiently loved/appreciated/proud of/etc. Love was a complicated and fraught thing in my home growing up, which has led me to be overly-concerned and ready to consume the books offered at the library in hopes of not missing out.
This is another one of those books that could have been covered in a nice article rather than a lengthy book and the elaborations seemed to treat the reader as if no interpretation abilities were present. I think this will help most in conflict, which is perhaps the best place it can be used--a reminder of what my kids might need more of at a particular time and how I might offer it to her. She needs to feel loved and unconditionally and on all levels.
The implications of knowing a person's love language could be deep manipulation, which is a bit unfortunate. Fortunately, I think my partnership would never resort to that, which I hope will carry over to my daughter and any future littles. I appreciate the pointing out of how one must have a solid partnership and other good adult relationships in order to model and pass on good feelings and behavior. And I think it's important to process anger and upset situations wisely.
But I find the pigeonholing a bit silly. -
This was a joint read, so we could read and discuss our parenting tactics, but it became much more than that. We'd worked through
The Five Love Languages before and I remember being blown away by that, not expecting the same thing here - and for a very different reason.
Our experimental test subject (first child) is still a toddler, under the key age for this book; the specific tactics aren't really applicable for under 4s, and you probably want to implement them before the teenage years begin (for everyone's sanity), so instead of plottingevilloving parental strategy we found ourselves mulling over our own childhoods and seeing them in an entirely new light. You could almost use this as a pre-counseling book, if needed.
Although nominally a Christian book you won't find it out of place anywhere - this is a parenting book, first and foremost. Anything else is by-the-by. I dinged a star because it was too repetitive in some places, but then I suspect it was also designed to allow people to just read one chapter here or there and still make sense of it.
Highly recommended to anyone who has children or plans to. -
My oldest child is much like me, but my second felt so different! But for the first time I'm understanding him, and this book may be the difference between a close relationship with him during these formative years, and a distant one.
This is the best parenting book I've read. In a nutshell: everyone shows love and desires love in return, but we do it in different ways. Those "ways" are called languages, and are condensed into five types. Receiving love in YOUR language fills your love tank. Kids whose love tanks are full learn better, are disciplined more easily, and manage anger more appropriately.
A great analogy for the whole thing: Someone can be screaming as loud as possible in Chinese, but if you don't speak Chinese, you're not going to understand them. -
This book is about exploring how your children communicate and how best to match your appreciation of that person to that person's preferred love language.
According to this book, there are five love languages, that is to say, expressions of love. Here they are:
(1) gifts (giving a person a present),
(2) service (doing something/a chore for a person),
(3) private time (spending time with that person),
(4) affirmations (expressing verbal appreciation),
(5) physical touch (snuggling, hugging, etc.)
The Five Love Languages of Children was nice to have a reminder that I can express love for my children and it not be interpreted as anything but love. -
The authors expound on their theory that there are five different ways that people express and experience love: physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts and acts of service. By the time kids are five or so, they say, the kids have started to have a preference (before then children just need love in all the languages all the time). Knowing your child's love language can help you to be sure that they know that you love them, which leads to all kinds of good things they'd like to tell you more about.
For example, if a parent expresses love by acts of service, but the child experiences love through physical touch, then they may feel unloved even while the parent bends over backward for them. Similarly, if they experience love through words of affirmation, but a parent disciplines by yelling, the child may not get the message "You made a bad choice" but may instead hear "I don't love you."
The book is mildly, though overtly, Christian. Non-Christians will probably roll their eyes occasionally, though I still think that the basic message of the five love languages and how to discover and use them will ring true and be useful.
I think this is actually one of the more useful parenting books I've read, and recommend it quite highly. -
If you enjoy being guilt tripped over not doing enough as a mother than this is the book for you! The answer to every problem is to love your children more. Give up more of your free time and responsibilities and simply love your children. All your problems will disappear! If you have a job, as a mother, or are a father than travels (because women don't travel for work), then you are certain to create children who deal drugs. So, give up that day job and start loving your children today! (That is literally in the introduction).
Needless to say, this isn't the book for me. And if that description appeals to you, please consider looking into the book Boundaries with Children by Henry Cloud. You will honestly get much better results from it.
