| Title | : | Enemies of the Heart: Breaking Free from the Four Emotions That Control You |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1601421451 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781601421456 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 224 |
| Publication | : | First published April 25, 2011 |
Enemies of the Heart: Breaking Free from the Four Emotions That Control You Reviews
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Compared to most books that I review, this one took me a long time to finish. In most cases that would mean a snoozer of a book, but not in this instance. With this book I found myself reading a portion then needing to take some time to digest what was being said.
The four main topics that are covered are guilt, anger, greed and jealousy. If you were to casually ask me if I struggled with these areas I would probably say no. But, upon reflection while reading this work I found many areas that needed a second look. Andy Stanley does a wonderful job of revealing those areas in our lives that we often overlook. I would say that you do not have to have an obvious issue to glean some important information from this book.
One of the great things about this book is that it provides solutions to the issues that are addressed. I particularly liked the portions that addressed the need to confess, forgive, give and celebrate. The way these points were addressed made me feel very hopeful that a person could actually overcome the negative reaction and replace it with a positive reaction.
Another benefit of the book is that it has been broken down into a six-week Bible study that you could do with your small group. In my opinion you could actually stretch it out to a longer study if time would permit.
This book was previously released under the title of It Came from Within. I have not read the original book so I cannot comment on changes, if any have been made. I thoroughly enjoyed studying through this book and recommend it to anyone that wants to be free of those things that seem to entangle us.
I received a copy of this book from WaterBrook Multnomah for my honest review. All thoughts are my own and may differ from others. -
The chapter at the end about how to help your children guard their heart is worth the cost of the book. That means that you get to learn about the 4 habits to help you break free from guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy at no charge!
Andy explains that each of these "four foes" is fueled by a single dynamic which makes them so problematic. They each result in a debt-to-debtor relationship. Guilt: I Owe You. Anger: You Owe Me. Greed: I Owe Me. Jealously: God Owes Me.
"Confess, forgive, give, celebrate. These are the habits that will change everything."
The chapter on teaching these habits to your children references Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Andy then talks about several questions that he regularly asks his kids to help them learn what they should be watching out for. They are:
"Is everything ok in your heart?"
"Are you mad at anybody?"
"Did anybody hurt your feelings today?"
"Did anybody break a promise to you today?"
"Is there anything you need to tell me?"
"Are you worried about anything?"
"Whose failure would you secretly celebrate?" -
This was a seriously good read. Serious because matters of the heart are serious, and good because it gets to the heart of the matter and addresses the heart problems we all face. The four emotions that control us are outlined along with what counteracts each one. This book is written with so much clarity that it's hard to forget what you've read. Everyone who has emotions and a heart should read this - that is, every human.
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First and foremost, let me ask you this:
**How are you doing?**
This is not one of those questions you can brush off and say, “I’m fine, thanks, and you?” Really stop and take a deep look inside yourself, at your heart. How is your heart doing?
Think about it for a moment. Anything eating away at you?
If you are struggling with any of the four enemies of the heart: guilt, anger, jealousy, greed (even lust – though it is not a true enemy of the heart as God did create it), I urge you to pick up and read Enemies of the Heart. It has been one of the most eye opening, revelatory books I have read since, well – since reading Eat to Live. What Eat to Live has done for my physical body (down 12 pounds now, thank you very much) Enemies of the Heart has done for my soul. If emotional baggage could be quantified in pounds, I have lost 100 lbs after reading this book.
Lately I have been struggling with sadness, and anger. Especially anger. So, so much anger. I am good at bottling up the anger on the inside, keeping it locked up and hidden away. Most people I know I don't allow to see the anger surface – but just ask my husband or my girls. They know.
Why is it that we take out our pain and hurt on the one’s that we love the most? Not that I’ve ever meant to hurt them of course, but it seeps out when my guard is let down. Seeps out in subtle ways most of the time, and when my 'soda bottle' has just been shook too much it explodes out of control before I can do anything but clean up the mess.
It was right after one such anger ‘soda bomb’ that I realized I needed to get control of the root of my problem and I found Enemies of the Heart on the Blogging for Books approved books for me to review. The Lord works in wonderful ways!
Pastor Andy Stanley takes passages from the Bible – straight from Jesus’ own words in his many parables – and explains step by step what it is that Christ calls us to do as Christians to do to overcome each of the four enemies of the heart: guilt, anger, jealousy, and greed.
My favorite section was on forgiveness (thus, my anger) when he used the parable in Matthew 18:23-27 about the servant whose debt is is canceled by his master, a debt he would never have been able to repay no matter how long he lived. Then this servant who's just had his debt canceled for him turns around and throws a fellow servant who owed him just a small amount into prison because of what was owed to him (which was legal for him to do).
Forgiveness then is completely canceling a debt someone owes to us, someone who does not deserve to be forgiven on their own merit. No, we forgive because Christ canceled out our debts, debts we would never be able to repay Him back for in even a quadrillion years. It is not only good for us to forgive because it frees our hearts from the chains of anger, but it is downright hypocritical of us not to forgive a minor debt from a fellow human when our life debt was canceled out for us in Christ's own blood. That my friends, is powerful. I am a grown woman and I have never looked at and viewed forgiveness in quite this way. Yes, I have always known that we are called to forgive because He has forgiven us - but knowing that and actually having it embed in your heart are two totally different things. Listen to the power of Christ's words to us:
“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
(And sometimes you have to re-forgive the same people for the same thing, and keep giving it to the Lord. That's okay. When you feel like they owe you, remind yourself that that debt has been canceled. The feelings won't necessarily go away suddenly, but the fact remains: they don't owe you anything anymore).
This is a book that I feel strongly everyone should read. Go right now and get it. No, I'm serious - buy it now if you can, especially if you have not yet mastered the habit to confess, forgive, give, and celebrate each other (especially those we are easily jealous of).
"Watch over your heart with all diligence for from it flow the springs of life" (Proverbs 4:23). -
I loved this book. I purchased the audiobook first and enjoyed it so much I bought the paperback as a study tool. Andy Stanley explains each problem/enemy in detail and then provides you with step by step instructions how to release yourself from the emotions that limit you from living your most fulfilling life. However, you must be willing to look at yourself honestly and want to make a better life for yourself.
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I went through this book with my small group and it has been one of the most beneficial and eye-opening things I have ever done for myself. This is a book that is so honest and brutal that you laugh out loud because it’s exactly what you needed without any sugar coating. This will be a book that I read every year or two for the rest of my life to help keep my heart in check.
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Solid 4* from Andy Stanley once again. He always provides sound practical advice with real-world examples. The only "ding" I would say is that so many of his examples are just about him. Self-disclosure is good and helpful but not to the exclusion of all other outside examples. But this is minor and he still does a fantastic job simplifying the message
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I loved this book. It was what I needed. If you think you don't need some assistance, you're wrong. Each of the 4 enemies lies within all of us and the sooner you recognize them the sooner you can defend against them. Raising children is especially important to get rid of these because you will donate these enemies to your kids whether you intended to or not.
Enemies of the Heart
Guilt- I owe you. Solution, Confession
Anger- You owe me. Solution, Forgiveness
Greed- I owe me. Solution, Give
Jealousy- God owes me. Solution, Celebrate -
Thank you. I truly love this book. It explains a lot of things, even though I don't believe in God. It makes sense, I can work with the things I've learned and best part it isn't selfish our putting the blame on someone else.
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This is a great book for anyone. I love Andy Stanley's writing style. He is a gifted teacher and explains things so well that I feel he is talking only to me.
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There's a lot of really good stuff in Andy Stanley's Enemies of the Heart, my favorite book by Stanley to date.
Stanley walks through four of the most powerfully destructive emotions that can damage us: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. Stanley argues that if we leave these emotions unchecked, they will destroy us from the inside out.
Stanley begins by considering the importance of the heart. He points us to Proverbs 4:23, where Solomon reminds us that, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." He then examines each emotion and pushes back on our culture which tends to affirm our emotions. Instead, Stanley suggests, we ought to question our emotions, and the posture of our heart they flow from.
Stanley is at his best in talking about anger and greed.
Regarding anger, Stanley tells us the difficult truth that, “The root of anger is the perception that something has been taken. Something is owed you, and now a debt to debtor relationship has been established.” He pushes back on how we use our pain. “Your pain isn’t a trophy to show off. It’s not a story to tell. It’s potentially poison to your soul. To refuse to forgive is to choose to self-destruct.”
He continues, “Victims don’t want to be proactive about changing—they want to be proactive about making sure that the person who hurt them pays. And so we spend our energy telling our sad stories rather than taking responsibility for our behavior. Thus we open the door of our hearts and welcome in the Trojan horse of bitterness. And it stands there, a monument, a constant reminder of a debt someone has yet to pay. Somebody owes us.”
Regarding greed, Stanley shares that very few of us identify with harboring this desire. We look to our left and right and see those who are greedier and exempt ourselves, but we do so at our own peril. He points to the root of greed as a lack of trust in God. “People with greed lodged in their heart fear that God either can’t or won’t take care of them. More to the point, they’re afraid that God won’t take care of them in the fashion or style in which they want to be cared for. And the gap between what they suspect God might be willing to do and what they want becomes a major source of anxiety. So greedy people shoulder the burden to acquire and maintain everything they need to provide the sense of security they desire.”
How do we free ourselves from greed? Through radical generosity. He says, “It takes a habit to break a habit. You can pray every day for a generous heart, but until you start acting in that direction, nothing's going to change.” Stanley continues, “Giving is the way God chooses to change our hearts. As your heart changes, your attitude and feelings will follow suit. God loves a cheerful giver, but he’ll put your money to good use whether you’re cheerful or not. My advice: Give until you get cheerful. As I’ve said, our giving must impact our”
There are certainly misses in Enemies of the Heart. Stanley's understanding of guilt isn't as biblically informed as I would like. He tends toward a superficial and culturally-influenced view that includes misunderstandings such as self-forgiveness. This isn't surprising given Stanley's thin biblical-theology. And yet, where Stanley is good, he is very good. He writes clearly and simply. If Tim Keller intimidates you, think of this as an introduction to Keller's "Counterfeit Gods." It isn't as biblically robust, but it is aimed at the heart and will yield good fruit to the reader. I encourage you to pick it up.
For more reviews see
www.thebeehive.live. -
Personally, I found this book to earn 4.5 stars! I am conflicted on whether or not it is a 4 or 5, but I will go into the 4.5 range and round up to 5 stars. Ultimately, I felt that this book did change me as a person of faith after reading it.
I felt this book does a great job exploring many aspects that taint the heart, except for lust. As a side note, I do not agree with the author's theology that lust stems from God, but disagreement does not deduct a star. I found the discussion on lust a bit surface level compared to the author concepts covered. I was disappointed that the author did not go deeper here and discussion pornography addiction, light pornographic use, affairs, and other sexual sins that are especially at peak in these Covid19 times.
I also have a question that I really wish to ask Stanley: God has displayed multiple times in the stories in the Bible that He has the potential to be jealous. One example from the top of my head is idol worship by the Israelites and where God displays jealousy. Perhaps I am misunderstanding scripture, but if our own God becomes jealous, how is it possible to state that jealousy is one of the four foes in this book? I just don't see the connection. We are to look to God to settle our spirit and battle the four emotions that control us (and one of the four being jealousy), but our own God is evidenced of being jealous in scripture.
I liked this book because it sparks questions in me like the one above plus more. Enemies of the heart is purely faith and experience based. No data is provided and I think Stanley does a wonderful job with this approach to non fiction.
It becomes difficult to specifically state what gems are in this book for readers, because it is likely that this the book speaks to an individual's spirit, and thus different pieces of gold will be extrapolated from a person's reading experience. For example, I learned that I really need to work on at least 2 of the four emotions mentioned in this book.
For me, there were sections of this book that made me feel very uncomfortable. This is good because it makes me realize I have areas to work on that I never knew. In one way, this book brought light into areas of my heart that I did not think needed attention. It also offers solutions that I hope to start implementing soon into my life to battle these opportunities for growth in my heart.
With the sparking of questions and shedding light on unknowns in my heart, this book was a worthwhile read and will be reread at least one more time this year to truly support change and growth. -
A fantastic read to understand better the inner workings of the heart. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “Why the heck did I just do/think/say that?” or, “Why can’t I change no matter how hard I try?”, this book is for you. Simple in its writing and understanding, but the wisdom beneath goes deep.
The Author talks about 4 emotions that bring about problems in our lives - those things that we find ourselves wondering why we can’t change, or why we do the things we do even though we KNOW it isn’t good. He runs through what those emotions mean, the deeper ‘Why’s’ beneath their occurrences, and the habits we can develop to counter them and heal our hearts.
1. Guilt - says “I owe you” - and is countered through Confession. It’s that thorn stuck in your heart that you can’t pull out, that weight you carry around everywhere. When you owe someone, it’s often not some physical debt. It’s because what you’ve taken from someone cannot be replaced, and you know it. It may be reputation, purity, a childhood, security. It’s something that holds consequences for the other person, and you feel guilt and shame because you were the cause of that. Confession shines the light on the shame that was hidden to bring freedom.
2. Anger - says “You owe me” - and is countered through Forgiveness. It’s when you’re on the other end of a debt that was never paid. and again, it’s often a debt that’s hard pressed to be paid off physically. You feel like you’ve been robbed of something you deserved - opportunity, a promotion, reputation, your childhood, your youth, your time. You want payback, but often... you don’t even know what can be paid back, or how it can be paid back. Forgiveness puts a name to what was owed and brings a decision to release the debt, so that the captor of anger can release you too.
3. Greed - says “I owe me” - and is countered by Giving Generously. The seed of greed is often hidden through good intentions. It’s easy to say that you’re not greedy, you’re just frugal, or something of the sort. But beneath it is a fear and insecurity that God will not provide for you. When we flip our perspective and realise that what we own on this Earth is basically nothing - all good things come from Him - then what we are in this life is not Owners but Managers. Managers of the good things that he has given to us, and He gives some more, and some less. Our responsibility here on Earth is to Manage what He has put in our account, and we should be asking ourselves, “WHY has God given me extra?”
4. Jealousy - says “God owes me” - and is countered by Celebration. Can we stand before God and tell him that He owes us - more than just His bloodied body on the cross? The breakthrough is when we know that we owe Him, and it’s not the other way around. Celebrate the success of others until we feel cheerful. Don’t wait until we feel cheerful to celebrate. When we can show our actions, everything else follows.
This was a great book and helped me to understand more about the heart that controls all things. My biggest reflection is that we are MANAGERS not OWNERS in this Life. -
This is my second time of reading this and I have to say, I think I found it more valuable the second time round.
Stanley sets out four key issues of the heart that we need to make sure we’re aware of: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. How do we identify these issues? How do these issues manifest themselves in our lives? How do we go about altering our behaviour in the light of what we’ve discovered about ourselves? How do we open up our hearts to allow God to do some healing in us? These are all questions that Stanley answers well in these pages. It’s not a big book but there are a few pages/chapters that I certainly found quite challenging.
Four stars because I felt his humour was at times a tad inappropriate when he’d make the occasional comment (an acquired taste, I think!) and I also felt he contradicted himself a few times in his chapter on forgiveness.
But a valuable read nevertheless. -
Just tryin to relive that one year of my life where I went to grown up church at Brownsbridge!
In this book, Stanley makes a case that all the bad and evil and whatnot in our lives is fundamentally a heart issue. Four enemies of the heart ail us: guilt, anger, greed, and jealousy. All of these result from a “debt/debtor” mindset - I owe you, you owe me, I owe me, and god owes me respectively. Also respectively, the cures are to confess, forgive, give generously, and celebrate others.
Like many-a-Stanley teachings, I’m like “hmm, that’s pretty wise and applicable, I’m glad I took that in”. He doesn’t build a bullet proof case for his claims, or draw the reader in with beautiful language, and nothing suggests that the claims of this book are all encompassingly true. But, it was a nice read. Definitely spurns some useful introspection! -
Don't read this book, if you're not a really devoted Christian or, as a minimum, into religion and religious teachings. Unlike his agnostic bestseller "When work and family collide", this book kicks of every chapter with bible verses, from which he then illustrates the guiding principle. It's like a series of sermons. That would have earned him 1 star, maybe 2. Why then did I award 4? Because of this one simple verse that struck a chord just right: to forgive is to let go of some imagined debt the other would have to you. In the end, no human owns another human anything.
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I thank God for letting me read this book. If not for this, I wouldn't have the time to truly assess my heart and its issues. Putting it out on the light was not easy, it was painful and shameful thing but it actually felt better.
Being sensitive to the problems of my heart helped me to deal with it in a thorough manner. It wasn't easy, too but it was worth doing. -
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 This was a very convicting and freeing book that helped me do some surgery on my heart!
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Great book - 4.5 stars. It’s amazing how you can be really examining yourself and yet the book can flow so smoothly, not slow and challenging like some other books of this type.
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Excellent!💗
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Forgiveness is a very difficult thing to deal with. So when i picked up this book was actually looking into that but got a whole lot more.
Like the saying goes 'hurt people, hurt people'. If you wanna get an insight on the emotions ( Guilt, Anger, Greed Jealousy) that control our heart this is the perfect book to read. All that we do steams from the heart, that is the root of all our emotions. The book focuses on the following emotions:
Guilt says, I owe You
Anger Says, You owe me
Greed says, I owe me
Jealousy says, God owes me
I love just how practicle and easy the concepts have been stated and the true reactions of the emotions that we actully feel. We all struggle with one of these emotions at one point in our lives and if we dont deal with them we will continue moving though life being controlled by the emotion.
So whats the solution? we need to develop the following habits of,
Confesse
Forgive
Give
Celebrate
These are habits that we need to be practicing if we ever going to deal with these heart issues. -
The premise of the book sounded interesting and I was genuinely hoping this would be a book I could learn from to improve my own insecurities. I am not generally a reader of self-help books, but since this one seemed based on a biblical premise, I thought perhaps it would offer something additional.
Instead, it's one anecdote after another after another after another to make a simple point. It's like a preacher who has a point, but tells 18 stories to make that simple point, at which time the congregation just wants to go home bc they got the point from the first story.
It may actually end up being more focused, but I don't feel like finding that out. -
I went through "Enemies of the Heart" with a small group of pastors and we really benefited from the experience.
I think the book should be utilized as a tool to help us more effectively navigate the challenges of life rather than a self-contained replacement for the gospel. What I mean is that the human heart is complicated and it's easy for us to ignore important issues as we seek to live out the Christian faith. A book like "Enemies of the Heart" will help us to do this more effectively, but it should never stand alone as a self-help tool. -
Wow. This is a powerful, straight forward, easy-to-understand, no frills narrative of how to clean out our hearts of guilt, anger, greed, and jealously, and how to replace them with the love that comes through confession, forgiveness, giving, and celebration. I’d recommend this for anyone who desires to be in a healthier place within her/his heart, especially if there’s a willingness to look with humility into the darker crevices of life.
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He holds attention for as long as he asks for it and shapes perspective to good effect. Voice is both clear and comforting. Illustrations are apt, and humor is engaged and self-deprecating without undermining intimacy. He can turn the Twitter-ready phrase and delve the deeper question. Take-away on battling guilt, anger, greed, and envy is profound and manageable.
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3 1/2 Stars
The last chapter of this book made me lower my score by 1/2 a star. Andy Stanley is dead on with the four problems that can hinder growth. He also provides good strategies to deal with and overcome the problems. However at the end he talks a lot about his children and uses an 'holier than thou' tone. He lost me at the very end.
