Assholes Finish First by Tucker Max

Assholes Finish First Reviews

• 
  Lindsay

  The second book just makes Tucker seem like a one trick pony While his first was pretty damn hilarious AFF is just a pitiful look at a middle aged douche who doesn't uite know how to grow up While Tucker IS a filthy pig I feel less disgusted by him than by the hundreds of gutter skanks who have willingly and stupidly chosen to be his cum dumpster Tucker for the love of god just stop with the filthy hookers A little funny and a lot less about vaginas please
• 
  David

  Trees died for this? Without uestion this is the worst book I've ever read and if even ten percent of what Max writes about is true he is one of the worst human beings I finished this piece of crap only due to the same fascination with which people view an automobile crashThere is no repeat no redeeming social value here Take a pass on this one folks
• 
  Holly

  If you know me then you know I am a truly good person who doesn't break the law or do drugs I am not promiscuous and I don't drink a lot Having said all that I love Tucker Max He is irreverent and honest Yes he is that smart and if he were to use his powers for good the world would be a better place but far less interesting He probably wouldn't even like me because let's face it I don't fit his ideal girl and I'm not a guy That's fine I don't want to sleep with him or hang with him I just want to read his hilarious books and maybe catch a show based on his stories every now and again If you like crazy antics that shouldn't work but somehow do then you will like his stories His self deprecating delivery is what gets me He will admit to being a self centered dick and somehow remain stubbornly attached to is skewed moral code
• 
  Kelly

  You know what's worse than all the haters dogging out Tucker Max for being a self proclaimed misogynist skank who gets action than a toilet seat? It's all the women he sleeps with because of said attitude Even though I'm sure his stories are exaggerated I have no doubt that a good portion is true And you know what else? They're hilarious I mean c'mon “The baby starts crying The mom looks worried I offer to help her make the baby stop Stydie is skeptical “Tucker do you even know what to do with a crying baby?” I scoff “Of course I do You put it in a trash can” That's gold right there And ladies don't listen to the other reviewers; you shouldn't feel guilty because his material is offensive to women Honestly no one's safe and that's exactly why it's so fun I leave you with this gem “New Yorkers think they’re so jaded that it’s impossible to shock them They think they’ve seen and heard it all and that may be mostly true But I can tell you from experience that at 2am in Midtown pretty much every person on the street will stop and gawk when they see a guy holding hands with one midget and another midget on his shoulders yelling outAT Midget “WHO RUN BARTERTOWN? I RUN BARTERTOWN”
• 
  Jen

  Shame on this publisher for capitalizing on the bigoted misogynistic exaggerated rants of this psuedo story teller MAN CHILD I really wanted to laugh along with his antics but by 50 pages in I was too disgusted with his lack of humanity and immaturity to continue If his aim was to offend he succeeded As I flipped through the rest of the book I realized that it was just a few hundred pages of the same without any redeeming chapters that might prove he has a thoughtful reflection in his childish brain I can't imagine that this book is some sort of crafted artistic statement that has an underlining commentary about society His only point seems to be to show off how he can bully the people around him with witty attacks and bang as many women with low self esteem as possible I don't buy it If nothing else this book exists in order to help the public avoid Tucker Max Assholes do not finish first they just make the most noise to appear like they are winning with their bullying antics He may have monetary success right now but karma will catch up to him He'll die alone hopefully with no progeny of some flesh eating penis cancer
• 
  Mack

  I saw this in the airport and was sucked in my the title The title is far literal than you can possibly imagine although besides wealth there is nothing first about this repugnant prick except first hardcover book I'll ever rip up and toss I won't even recycle it because the pages could never be bleached enough to eliminate the stench of pathetic tool the weeps from every line I am less of a person after reading this trash I'm ashamed that I gave this douchebag money He is the worst kind of douchebag just pathetic Please don't support him or read this book you will lose intelligence If you so desire I'll provide cliff notes so you can eliminate any inkling of interestI laughed one time when the author shit himself That's it I read 350 pages and I can't finish it It hurts to much
• 
  Eric

  I picked this up at the airport because I needed some light reading and was in a rush I couldn't imagine that someone would publish such drivel so I was expecting irreverence and debauchery with maybe a little something to make it interesting I was expecting maybe a modern day lightweight BukowskiWhat I got was party tales of a frat boy though I'm not sure if he was actually in a fraternity and heaping helpings of drunken debauchery but nothing that was actually interesting or funny enough to remember and there's nothing particularly skillful or interesting about the writing either He does use punctuation correctly most of the time so he's got that going for himMax is a master at manipulating drunken women with low self esteem Good for him That's slightly harder than mastering the alphabet and multiplication tables If you are someone who has already mastered the alphabet and multiplication and would like to move on to manipulating drunken women with low self esteem then I highly recommend this book to you
• 
  Dave

  I'm rating this 4 stars merely because of its genre Tucker Max made me laugh inappropriately throughout the entirety of the book and I must say for a completely arrogant entirely narcissistic individual he is incredibly gifted with intelligence wit and literary prowess It's almost as if he were accidentally blessed
• 
  Rainy

  Tucker Max is the kind of guy that no father wants his daughter to meet Ever He shows no respect for human beings and is very condescending towards everything That shouldn't come as a surprise considering this guy is writing about all the sexcapades he's had during the years Sadly enough one would think that even guys like him would eventually grow up and mature Not Tucker Max He's the epitome of a predator Taking advantage of girls when they're drunk and even soliciting sex on his website while constantly insulting aforementioned girls and his so called friends However during this book there is an ever repeating trend The girls he gets to have sex with have issues Primarily with their father He also seems to go mainly for the immature inexperienced kind Did I mention predator? Some of the pictures in this book could be fake The image of the leg of a girl who tattooed “I fed Tucker Max” on it for example If that is supposed to be a tattoo from a professional she ought to get a refund This book is no piece of art nor is it particularly well written It's the ramblings of a frat boy who likes to get drunk and laid Stereotypical and sadly enough there are plenty of people out there that enjoy this type of writing Calling it literature would be an insult to any serious authorOne true thing that is mentioned in this book however Tucker Max is an asshole and proud of it
• 
  thewestchestarian

  Diary of a bully kid School bullies uite often grow up to get their JD’s from sports crazed frat schools like Duke University in North Carolina Less often do such law school graduates forgo the fat paychecks from corporate law for the publish or likely perish world of professional writing This differentiation separates Tucker Max from the herd of the perhaps millions of men who pursue the hedonistic pleasures without personal responsibility that Max so enthusiastically relishes in One can only assume that somewhere among the lawyers who spend their days negotiating mergers and suing 12 year olds for illegally downloading Usher tracks are uite a number with writing talent than Max Max does not so much write poorly as he presents the PowerPoint speakers notes version of his stories written in unadorned talking points ”so I met this girl and she was totally hot and I got her drunk and then I took her back to my apartment and then” The stories themselves have a certain predictability to them Tucker meets a girl and either 1 offends her or 2 has sex with her before offending her or Tucker meets a man or a woman he is not sexually interested in fairly rare and 1 offends him or her or 2 exploits him or her before eventually giving offense If you dispute this assertion I invite you to point to the story in the book that doesn’t generally fit these patterns Although every story amounts to sex and or screaming offensive remarks not all are pointless but there is a clear pattern of diminishing returns The books begins with Max buying a police bullhorn and screaming broad insults at fellow Duke University grad students who are also being subjected to the ridiculous ritual of having to camp a full weekend in return for the chance to buy basketball tickets Given the situation Max’s verbal abuse feels only slightly out of place and the tale has some genuine laughs The stories that follow uickly fall into the pattern outlined above and differ little one to another The artifice he tries to build of the fast thinking rebel collapses when an a girl challenges him to a drinking contest involving whiskey which Max apparently has an allergy to put this in the full ridiculousness of its context think of Cookie Monster admitting to an allergy to macaroons Instead of using his superior intellect to win the contest Max can do little than down the whisky and hope for the best It turns out the fast thinking hero is little than Steve O from the ”Jackass” television and movie series The book hits its nadir with Max’s tale of driving a rented recreational vehicle blind drunk through the streets of Manhattan while his entourage of assorted delinuents fire full beer bottles at other motorists In a prelude to the story Max tells us no one was injured or presumably killed in the instance but given his advanced inebriation would he even have remembered or noticed? Further when he wriggles out of prolonged jail sentence by claiming the delinuent who ran off when the police finally caught up to them by lying to the Harlem police captain he says ”it’s only a lie if you don’t believe it” Of course one could look at the rest of these tales of sex with Playboy bunnies with this credo in mind In short the book presents the empty vacuous trivial boastings of an alcoholic over educated teenager and you should find something better to do with your time