Quand il n'y a plus de larmes by Brooke Shields

Quand il n'y a plus de larmes Reviews

• 
  Caroline

  This book was a great comfort to me when I had post natal depression. It beautifully explains all the emotions and turmoils of being a new mum and helped me to feel not so alone.
  Obviously, her life is completely different. I remember crying when she said she hired a night nurse. I was exhausted and couldn’t afford one. I would really love to read a book about a working class mum struggling with post natal depression and how she coped as all the books I’ve read, the women hire nannies!!!
• 
  Missy

  I read this because I really struggled after my baby was born, and I had heard that Brooke Shields had, also. There were times while reading this that I thought, "It's as if Brooke Shields read my mind when I was a new mom!" She had her baby before me, but still. It was weird how so many of the feelings and thoughts she described were exactly like ones I had. I couldn't relate to the rest of her life, such as when she talked about being on Broadway, having homes in NYC and LA, or hiring a baby nurse, but the "meat and potatoes" of the book were good. I also couldn't relate to her fertility issues or horrible delivery, but no two stories will be alike in every way.
  
  I recommend this book to everyone, because even though society has come far with mental health issues, stigmas still exist. I still (like Brooke) feel like I have to prove to my family and in-laws that I'm not "crazy," and that I actually do love my son now. Brooke drove home the point that I don't have to feel bad about having baby blues/post partum depression, because I had no control over whether or not I was going to have it. I commend Brooke for writing this book. I didn't love the writing, but the point was good.
• 
  stephanie

  i am so happy this book was written. not just for PPD women, but for people dealing with depression in general. it's so true; it's so real to the way it feels, and the way it breaks families and relationships apart.
  
  it is a selfish thing, and it is so difficult to understand when you aren't in it. i love the way brooke's perspective changes, how you can see the despair begin and then the climb out, and how meds aren't the end all.
  
  i really felt a kinship with her struggle to decide to go on meds, and the thought that you can get off them just fine, and the importance of the therapist.
  
  if only tom cruise wouldn't spout his shit about it . . . i very much recommend this book for anyone interested in seeing how depression works - and i am so proud of
  Brooke Shields for actually writing it. it's hard to come out and say that things are rough - and admitting a clinical diagnosis. i heart this book.
• 
  C. (Comment, never msg).

  The show that happens to be airing is not for me because I can’t tolerate stories of abuse. Hopefully comments are about this review; not redundant referrals to that TV series.
  
  My Mom & I were moved to hear of Brooke Shields’ revolutionizing post partum depression book in 2005. I spotted this secondhand hardcover this spring and read it with remembrance of my dear Mom, who recently rose to the afterlife. She taught me a lot, with my own variations, about how I wanted to raise babies; if I had had the human variety. My intersection with this book is sensitive, because Brooke mourned the ascension of her dear Dad when she wrote it. I am sorry he did not meet his Grandchildren.
  
  I dislike autobiographies being called memoirs but it is right for Brooke’s focused year, cautioning everyone about an illness people did not dare to mention. “Down Came The Rain: A Mother’s Story Of Depression And Recovery” emboldened families to identify and discuss emotional struggles that are much harsher than “baby blues”. For two weeks, Brooke nursed her Daughter and otherwise slept or cried. Slowly, she asked family & friends to help but she did not improve. Thankfully, she spoke up at a follow-up appointment and reluctantly tried a prescription. I know we can adjust hormone production through Donna Eden energy medicine but Brooke had to seize whatever worked. Her experience is invaluable.
  
  I gave three stars over extended examples of depression. Light events needed to balance them out. I wince over the “Ferbur” method parents are pushed to try. Sleepless or not, I never want loved-ones to think I won’t come if they are upset, much less as infants.
  
  I am glad to read her second Daughter, Grier, was conceived naturally, without ill effects in 2006. I can’t believe sweet baby Rowan is 19 years-old! It confirms that the depression came from a divorce prior to marrying Chris, the stress of seeking fertility aid, and losing her Dad.
• 
  Andrea

  So I choose to read this book because of my curiosity with postpartum depression and I was told it was an honest account. True it is honest, but the writing was less than fair... (I never knew that she had a degree in French literature from Princeton, maybe she'd have done better if she had written it in French?) Don't get me wrong, I applaud her for writing so candidly about postpartum depression and the thoughts/feelings that go along with it. She is brave for doing so and has probably helped many women come to terms with their own struggle. Hell, she's probably saved lives with this book. And I do love that she told off Tom Cruise when he made his VERY uneducated opinions known regarding her use of medication. She is a smart woman, just not the greatest writer. Worth the read if you are interested in postpartum. A very fast read as well.
• 
  Jenn

  MY husband bought this book for me a few days after I was diagnosed with major post partum depression. Only after seeing an interview with Brooke Shields on a morning tv show did I finally get help. I didn't understand what was wrong with me -- when I heard her speak about what she had been through I felt such an overwhelming sense of relief that someone else had had the same thoughts and feelings. Though it is not the most well written book it is very realistic and for the most part relatable. I would recommend this book to all new moms so they realize that it is not unusual to not feel like a perfect glowing new mommy like the mom's portrayed on television and movies.
• 
  Koren

  I wasn't a huge fan of the writing style. I thought she went into way too much detail about her fertility treatments and childbirth. I kept thinking 'poor little rich girl'. But then if she didnt it wouldn't have been a very long book as it is only 225 the way it is and a quick read. If it had been longer I dont think I would have stuck with it. That said, for someone who is going through postpartum depression it would probably be a help just to know others have been through the same thing. It also might be helpful for pregnant women to know that this could happen. Brooke said she did not know about PPD before she went through it. Just for fun, be sure to google when you are done as the book came out in 2005 and the baby she writes about is now 17 years old. I also found out she had another baby after the book came out and she is still married to the guy she was married to in the book.
• 
  Bethany Royer

  I'm torn. While the message is incredibly important, having myself gone through PPD, the writing style left much to be desired.
  
  Unfortunately, "Down Came the Rain," appeared to have been Shield's private journal that was immediately put to print without a single bit of editing. The story had no flow, jumping confusedly from one thought to the next. It is quite the work to get through but considering how few people are willing to talk about PPD, to admit of its existence and for so many, like myself, who suffer(ed) silently with the disease it is an imperative piece to be read by every woman who is contemplating or on the threshold of motherhood.
  
  It would probably wouldn't hurt for impending fathers and doctors to read it as well.
  
  
  
• 
  Megan

  Very moving. A great book to read if you think you are going through, KNOW you are going through, or have already been through Postpartum Depression. Reading it after being diagnosed with it myself made me feel like I was not the only one to go through those emotions. There are not a whole lot of books written about Postpartum Depression- let alone one that is NOT a textbook type. It is hard to deal with, let alone telling someone (or the whole world) that you have/had it, there is a terrible stigma about this type of depression. If you think you might have Postpartum Depression do not wait! Get help! You are not weak for doing so, and it is not something you should be embarrassed about!
• 
  Kelsey Cunningham

  As someone who recently had a baby, I appreciated Brooke’s honesty about her postpartum experience. There were many aspects I could relate to, except for when she was struggling she was able to hire a night nanny, have someone cook her gourmet meals, etc. The book did read a little like a high school essay IMO, but I’ve felt that way about many Hollywood stars who write memoirs.
• 
  Kim

  My mom picked this up in the $1 bin and recommended it to me a while back, knowing my weakness for celebrity memoirs. I ended up listening to the audiobook. I never noticed how much Brooke Shields and Terry Farrell (the actress who plays Jadzia Dax in DS9) sound alike until now. It was hard not to imagine Jadzia, wearing a teal and black jumpsuit, explaining her journey into motherhood in Quark's bar...
  
  I really appreciated Brooke's transparency. I could relate with many of her experiences which surprised me and it confirmed my suspicion that I had PPD with my first daughter. Thankfully, the book has a happy ending.
  
• 
  Allison

  From my blog:
  https://bookgirl1987thoughts.wordpres...
  
  Last December I finished one of the best celebrity memoirs I’ve ever read. Usually the words “celebrity memoir” turn me off immediately, but I feel fortunate to have made time for this one. It is always a small miracle when a famous actor writes a book about themselves and manages to decenter their life and career in Hollywood from the narrative. I loved that Hollywood was on the periphery of the story, and that the book focused on something much more universally understood than the chaotic world of film stars on movie sets. There is no gloss and glamour between these pages; nothing but an honest and heartbreaking account of human suffering, desperation, and eventually, redemption. Brooke Shields describes her very personal struggle to survive new motherhood with clarity and consistency. I feel that she spared the reader no detail in giving the full portrait of her postpartum depression.
  
  In the first half of the book, Shields documents her journey to motherhood swiftly, with a keen, unwavering eye on the critical events that lead to a simultaneous “birth” (her daughter’s) and “death” (what felt like her own.) She lifts the veil on what could essentially be any woman’s living nightmare: having a child and losing everything else. She starts out on her journey with a determined, laser-like focus on achieving fertility. She tries every medical procedure available in order to get pregnant, (which requires patience and more patience, something she admits to having little of), finally gets pregnant (has a pretty calm pregnancy), and has an intensely difficult labor (C-section). When her daughter finally arrives at the end of a long and torturous road, Shields is exhausted and finds herself at a loss for how to care for her new child and herself. It seems the child she so desperately fought for has been delivered at a cost she cannot bear: her sanity.
  
  While slowly recovering from a C-section delivery (which disappoints and relieves Shields at the same time), she realizes that something is very wrong. What at first appears to be general anxiety while learning the ropes of motherhood, soon becomes a major burden for Shields and her family of three. From labor onward, she has felt no connection whatsoever to her child and finds she cannot even look at her new child without feeling strange and deeply cynical. In one section of the book, while Shields is still in the hospital, she admits to staring at her daughter’s face and desperately searching for some kind of bond between the two of them, which in her mind does not exist at all. She admits to feeling as if she had just given birth to someone else’s child, and tries to apologize to her child for her lack of maternal instinct and general, paralyzing fear. Breastfeeding feels to Shields like an exercise in torture, and she struggles with feelings of resentment of the whole situation as well as her fear that her child will sense her “rejection” and reject her in turn. Shields spends several weeks in a degenerative depression that she blames on her inadequacies and partly on her daughter, in her weakest moments. She grapples with thoughts of suicide when the fog does not let up and begins to lose faith in everything that had once brought her happiness and contentment. The two most important people in her life (her husband and her new child, Rowan) seem to be suffering greatly on account of her inability to cope. Her guilt mounts and the walls seem to be closing in. She describes her thoughts on pages 71 and 72:
  
  “I was desperate to have a natural and healthy connection with my daughter, but it was feeling so forced. It was as if I were trapped behind a thick glass wall. I had never felt apathy in my life, and when I had least expected it, it crept in and took over. I couldn’t shake the feeling of doom and gloom that pervaded each moment. I was afraid of myself and felt threatened by the dangerous thoughts running so calmly through my head. They all felt too real. When would I wake up from this bad dream?”
  
  Eventually, the sadness does not pass (she pretty much bypasses the “baby blues” on the way to postpartum depression) and it dawns on Shields that she needs help. The major problem with this recognition is that she doesn’t realize what she needs help for, or how to reach out for it. The initially comforting words from family and friends have morphed into comments of alarm and uneasiness, and her endless crying jags and self-pity parties add up to more depression than she thought humanly possible. She constantly wonders: “Why don’t I love my daughter? Why can’t I express my love for her?”
  
  The second half of the book focuses on Shields’ attempts at finding herself again while remaining oblivious to her diagnosis. Friends give her literature on postpartum depression and it goes unread for the longest time, while she waits for the clouds to lift. When she is finally prescribed an anti-depressant by her doctor, she fears addiction and swears off medication. Eventually, she considers the drug, only after being continually persuaded that she won’t become addicted and won’t be on it forever. After a brief but successful stint on the drug Paxil, she decides she’s feeling better and discontinues it. Her symptoms quickly return, and she realizes she doesn’t know enough about her situation to play doctor. She finally sits down to read the material given to her and identifies with every symptom and personal story she encounters. Armed with the knowledge that she has an actual disorder and isn’t going “crazy,” Shields feels lighter but isn’t out of the woods yet. She finds a doctor who further educates her on the “mind/body connection,” and soon she is seeing a therapist and taking her medication. Things start to look much better for all involved, and her relief is palpable at every new step taken toward repairing the “damage” done.
  
  Throughout much of the book, Shields remains conflicted by the assumption that she should have the strength and energy to be a working mother. While trying medication and therapy, she experiments with both options (working, both with and without her daughter) and finds neither a satisfactory fit. Her guilt over neglecting her work or her child is too much to bear, so she chooses the more important of the options and returns to “mommying” full-time. Her symptoms lessen to the point where she and Rowan start developing in a more natural way, but she fears jeopardizing her progress. She finds a nice balance (working on a formula shoot, a four-hour miniseries, and a few episodes on “That ‘70s Show”) but steadily returns to motherhood with open arms after each project. (This is the kind of validation she has been looking for in the midst of her depression, the sign that being a mother has officially replaced being an actress.)
  
  By the time the New Year rolls around, Shields and her little family are intact once again, and Rowan has not suffered emotionally or developmentally from her mother’s illness. Shields continues her prescribed journey to wellness, and finds that time and a little assistance can mean the difference between coming out from under the covers, or not. She not only closes the book on a positive note of her own story, she also offers information to readers regarding postpartum depression: how it can be predicted and detected, and finally, how it can be treated. She emphasizes the importance of knowing what you’re dealing with (an actual disorder as opposed to exhaustion and/or insanity), and frames the whole ordeal with the hindsight that she saw her situation through uneducated eyes. She ends the book with a few regrets, as only a type-A, managerial personality can, but she also ends with a tried-and-true promise that things will and can get better. For anyone.
• 
  Charissa

  This book resonated so profoundly with me on so many levels. While I didn’t face the infertility struggles, I recall the terrifying experience of delivering my first son. I related to her feelings of fear for her own life while complications arose that were out of her control, for the mental and physical exhaustion that followed, for the difficult recovery that I was unprepared for.
  
  There were few areas of her journey that I couldn’t relate to, in some way. I remember feeling so overwhelmed by motherhood that I craved returning to work where I knew I could and would excel. Once getting there, I realized that even that dynamic had changed and I was now a WORKING mother and that it was just as difficult. Instead, I yearned for time with my son and grew less patient with my professional life. The resentment shifted to something that I once loved so much and made my priorities change.
  
  While everyone’s struggle and experience with childbirth, motherhood and PPD is very different...it was comforting to find that in many ways, the thoughts and feelings associated can be very much the same. A great reminder that no one is alone in their fight.
• 
  Carly Marino

  I really enjoyed this book. It's hard to read if you've never experienced or known someone who has experienced postpartum depression, but I assure you it's a real thing. Brooke Shield exposes herself in a raw, realistic manner. This topic is extremely tough to talk about and share with others. I give her so many props for being brave and writing this story to help other suffers, letting them know they aren't alone.
• 
  Amy Balaich

  Parks & Rec put this book on my radar lol, but I commend Brooke Shields for sharing her experiences with PPD. I have felt a lot of the same things she described in her book and I love that she is an advocate for seeking help as soon as possible. It’s so important to discuss this topic and remind women who go through it that it doesn’t mean they’re not a good mother or that they’re crazy.
• 
  Rachael

  This was more relatable than I anticipated. I recommend this to anyone who thinks they may be experiencing PPD/PPA, even if it’s just for the list of resources in the back.
• 
  Angela Woodrow Parker

  powerful read. I felt so bad for her and am really glad she got the help she needed, and that she champions for other women to get help too
• 
  MomofTeen

  Postpartum depression is crippling and I applaud Ms. Shields for using her fame to bring it to light.
• 
  Ann J

  A very poignant look at post partum depression from a celebrity we all know.
• 
  Alyssa

  I read this book probably 12 plus years ago. It helped me through a difficult time of postpartum depression. Highly recommend!
• 
  elizabeth_agd

  I appreciated Brooke's honesty in how she described her experiences. Some of her points felt a little over-stated and went on but the writing was interesting. Several key components of her experiences really resonated with me. The experiences were bang on with what I was feeling before and during my diagnosis and it was almost a relief to hear that I wasn't an abnormality.
  
  First, when she had a hard time defining herself after her daugher was born because "up until now, I realized, I had equated my worth eith my successes in my career and at school. ...I had little opportunity to cultivate a sense of self separate from the one I held through my profession. ...Without my work to rely on, I felt unmoored" (page 100).
  
  Second, while on a trip Brooke met a woman who had a terrible time after her daughter was born. Her point that the woman was articulate and talented yet still experienced terrible anxiety, alarming mood swings, and no appetite. The woman generally "felt as if she wasn't herself" (page 116).
  
  Third, without her work, Brooke feels as though she no longer matters. In her colleagues eyes she was "no longer an actress; I was now just a mom. ...Needless to say, my senses of identity and self had been markedly unsettled" (page 130-131). In a recent discussion I realised I still referred to who I used to be (a consultant who worked on prestigious capital campaigns). I felt that the response I got when mentioning my former life versus being a mom and care-giver was much more respect than my current choice. Truth be told, this is the hardest and yet most rewarding job I've ever done. So why am I feeling the tugs of society disproving or disrespecting my choice to stay home and raise our family with our morals and values.
  
  Fourth, I was relieved to read when Brooke's doctor explained "just because pospartum depression has happened with one child, it wouldn't necessarily occur after subsequent births" (page 137). I don't know if we are done having children but this was something that has been definately weighing on my mind.
  
  Finally, Brooke and myself were both comforted "to know that those people who had experienced postpartum depression but who had reached out for help not only came through it, they did so with healthy bonded relationships with their children" (page 146). Another stress that manifests itself through the depression is hyper-sensitivity and self-doubt. I generally am a confident woman but with the panic and anxiety I had experienced before taking "the orange pill" or what I refer to as "my happy pill" I was unsure about even simple decisions such as what to feed my 2-year-old daughter for lunch! Things are much better now and I am enjoying my children and husband as I should.
  
• 
  Michelle

  Brooke Shields is a horrible writer. Maybe the blame lies on her ghost writer, if she had one, but the prose in this is almost unreadable. It is dorky and lame and clunky and very tell-not-show. For such an emotionally charged topic (post partum depression) this book was not emotional at all. I expected to be heartbroken on her behalf and it all felt very flat. It’s interesting that her husband wondered aloud, early in her pregnancy, if she might eventually suffer from PPD. This is an telling tidbit, especially as she constantly says how she’s always so happy go lucky when not under the siege of PPD. In general I’m pretty sure dudes don’t think of these potential ailments unless it’s staring them in face. (And, honestly, Brooke seemed somewhat batshit insane in Andre Agassi’s memoir).
  
  Also, she makes several references to her fame/paparazzi/having to hide her pregnancy, sneak out of the hospital, etc. All I could think was, really? You’re that famous that you have a pack of paparazzi trailing you at all times? She is certainly highly recognizable as she’s been in the business for her entire life. But she’s not really tabloid fodder is she? There’s Angelina Jolie on one end and former Bachelorette contestants on the other and I kind of thought Brooke Shields was more Bachelorette contestant (in terms of fame, not skills – I really liked her in Suddenly Susan). I don’t know, maybe there are enough photogs in the biz that everyone who's ever been on TV is fair game. But she lives most of the year in NYC. It seems the paparazzi is less present there. She takes a job as an extra in That 70s Show!
  
  I do applaud her for speaking about this where so many people try to sweep it under the rug or feel shame or make others feel shameful about it. So in that sense I’m glad this was a bestseller and that it seeped out amongst the masses. It is an important topic and people need to be aware. But, gawd, this book is really bad.
• 
  Carrie

  This book was one of the worst I've read in quite a while. I read it because I was interested in learning more about postpartum depression, not necessarily because it was Brooke Shields, who I've never been particularly interested in. The writing in this book was horrid. I seriously think I could write a better book right now. The unfortunate thing about this book is that I really do think she has an important story to share, but the tone of the writing was so irritatingly whiny and dramatic, she lost any empathy she managed to evoke in me almost as soon as it appeared. I think that if someone were not convinced of the validity of postpartum depression, this book might actually help to convince them that it doesn't exist. She comes across as a privileged, self-obsessed, wimpy diva who has never had to do anything on her own, and who struggled with the typical challenges any new mother faces, while at the same time having many advantages over the typical mother (ie., money, time off work, family support, hired help). I really don't think that's probably how she is, based on some interviews I've seen her do, but she did such an awful job telling her story, I think that's how it would come across to anyone unfamiliar with her. I would never recommend this book to someone, and was shocked to find out that it is recommended often by professionals to women suffering from postpartum depression. I can't see how the average mother could relate to really any of her struggles. Too bad she didn't hire a ghost writer.
• 
  Brianna

  I almost gave "Down Came the Rain" only three stars because, even after reading about her heartfelt struggle with PPD (postpartum depression), I still had trouble looking forward to hearing about anything she has ever had to go through. BUT... I ended up at four stars. The reason being? Despite her book having a whiny edge to it (as in "poor me, living such a hard life with multiple houses and a career that gives me the financial freedom to do pretty much whatever if good for me at this moment"), in was her most candid moments that really struck me.
  When she goes beyond her 'silver spoon' writing, the struggles she faced of death in the family and infertility -- which are very real subjects that MANY deal with on a regular basis -- all leading up to birth and the PPD were honest, true, and very eye-opening for those who don't understand "why you can't just be happy".
  
  I read her book after the tail-end of my own struggle with PDD and I felt a form of comfort in reading what I remember being a very dark and dreary place, knowing that I wasn't alone in such an emotional roller-coaster.
  Brooke Shields may not be the best writer or the best person to relate to someone without the luxury of money, but her book deserves my four star rating due to the moments that she puts all the "fronts" about her life aside and shows the public that PDD can happen to any mother regardless of age, race, or societal/financial status.
• 
  Sarah Sammis

  While I've been luck to have not gone through all the trauma that Brooke Shields describes in Down Came the Rain our experiences do have similarities. I know the emotional and physical pain of suffering a miscarriage (I've had two). I know that detachment one can feel during a successful pregnancy: always expecting bad news to happen. I know the pain of recovery from a C-section. As I was under a general anesthetic at the time of my son's birth, her description of a C-section was very informative and useful (I have a planned C-section later this year). While I did not need medication for depression after my son's birth I did feel the same emotions she described in the first few weeks of her daughter's birth. In my case, it was a side effect of the pain medication I was taking for my C-section that was keeping me detached and thinking thoughts I would never otherwise think. I realized that I could handle the pain much better than I could the emotional and mental side effects the pain killers were having on me. Pregnancy, birth and early parenthood are not the all-happy events that they are so often portrayed as. They are hard work and hard emotionally too.
• 
  Lori

  This helped me realize that my experience after the birth of my daughter was nothing to be ashamed of. I see that some reviewers criticize the book as simply an account of motherhood, rather than depression, but I have to disagree. Sure, being tired, frustrated, exhausted, embarrassed, and deprived of sleep (have I mentioned "tired" yet?) is the universal maternal experience. But depression is much more complex than that.
  
  And yes, I would have loved to be able to hire a baby nurse, as Brooke did, and it would be nice to not have financial issues to worry about. That's true. But that doesn't make her experience with postpartum depression any less valid.
  
  It is also true that the writing isn't exactly captivating. C'mon, folks, do you really read a book like this for style or for content? Give her some credit. This is not an easy subject to talk about (else more mothers would do so), and for her to do it so publicly deserves some merit.