The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction Issue 3 by Jeff Burk

The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction Issue 3 Reviews

• 
  Mike Kleine

  This is now the third issue of the splendid `Magazine of Bizarro Fiction' and I haven't missed one yet! It is still fresh and yes, I am still paying full-price each time, refusing to pay for the wonderful one-year subscription discount-fee since I would feel like I am doing a disservice to the Bizarro community. $7.00 for a quality 3-hour read (or 3-day read, depending on how fast you read) is cheaper than going to the movies and just as long as the Titanic, (or any Peter Jackson film, really... and this is still assuming you'll read this in three hours.)
  
  Overall, the anthology is five pages shorter than the original Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, this is a fact, but five pages? That's like 3-minutes less of credits at the end of a movie... Since this is a text, that just probably means less ads... probably. The first issue still has the best back-cover, I think (I won't spoil it for those of you who still haven't seen it) but this one is advertising for BAD MOON BOOKS. Alright, I'm fine with that, just make it awesome, like the MONKEY COMICS ad from the first one!
  
  But what's in the actual magazine you ask? Well, let me tell you. Jeff Burk begins with a wonderfully-written rant about the current state of the book publishing industry and no, this is not a cry of help from independent publishers nor is it a prediction of the future; Jeff is just letting us know what's up. From e-books, DRM, hardback publishers to a selfless promotion of his own text, SHATNERQUAKE, I think he does an `A-` job at presenting the dichotomy that exists between publishers and authors. It's a great way to start off the magazine.
  
  There are five pieces of fiction, one poem (which is actually sixteen individual poems from the great Kevin L. Donihe so it's more like SIXTEEN poems), two comics, four pieces of Nonfiction and three regular features. I'll be honest, normally, I haphazardly glance over the Nonfiction section of the Magazine of Bizarro Fiction but this time, I was immediately captivated by the wonderful musings of Patrick Wensink (whose voice, I promise you, is unlike most of what you've ever read, especially in Nonfiction) and then my favorite section, `Bizarro Books that Never Were,' offers fantastic insight from Cameron Pierce, arguably the youngest Bizarro author ever, offering us knowledge most 40-year olds couldn't even ever fathom imagining.
  
  Other than the ever-gregarious Andrew Goldfarb, the comics this time were so-so, as usual. I feel like they are always either `introducing' or `to be continued'-ing, which is irritating. Either follow the Goldfarb formula or stop printing comic previews and actually have a decent comic that's longer than one-page! Haha, that's my only gripe. Reading Bruce Taylor's NEPTUNE BLUES is like eating a drug, not ingesting it, eating it. Because while you are eating it, you feel its effects but as soon as you are done reading, its over and you go back because you want more!!! (Ingestion usually means: longer-lasting effects). Cody Goodfellow has the entire months of May-June named after him so he's already getting the recognition he deserves . A highlight is probably Monica J. O'Rourke's grind-house-esque WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN--staggering piece of Bizarro fiction brilliance. Also, I always like a little more than what I am getting so the paragraph-long blurbs written by Jeff before each story is more than plenty. I feel like he is holding my hand and I love it!
  
  In summation, reading the `Magazine of Bizarro Fiction: Issue 3' felt like jumping out of a cement mixer filled with vanilla ice cream (birth-style) and then quickly ingesting as many pills and mood-altering substances as possible within the space of three hours to suddenly realize that by the end of the trip, there are o side effects... Just a goofy grin. NICE!
• 
  Chris

  This issue was a little different for me. Usually I prefer the longer stories over the shorter ones and don't care all that much for the comics, but this issue was the opposite. I even liked the poetry and that rarely happens. As usual the book reviews are helpful and I found "How Mary Lou Retton's Bladder Ruined the State Fair" by Patrick Wesnick to be my favorite of the nonfiction.