Death: The Final Stage of Growth by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Death: The Final Stage of Growth Reviews

• 
  Helga Cohen

  This was a very interesting book by the renowned author on the subject of dying.
  In this book she discussed topics ranging from the stark ideology of hospitals to the different cultural views from Eskimo, Jewish, Hindu, and Buddhist which deal with it in different and positive ways. There were also some very personal stories from the dying and how knowing it lead them to growth and not fear. She goes into the 5 stages- denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.
  
  From reading this book we learn that there are 3 goals of living-finding out who we are, committing our lives to what matters, and finding the right direction in life to commit life to what matters. Denying death can lead to a meaningless life because postponing things will elude important things.
  
  Through psychological studies done by Kubler Ross and others, restructuring in palliative care, hospitals are no longer as menacing. Patients are seen as a whole, the soul, mind, and body in all stages are taken into account. Communication and compassion are shared so the phobia is lessened or eliminated.
  
  This was a really good read with an amazing perspective and recommended as are all of her books when someone you love has passed away (my father and pet in the last year).
• 
  Bookreaderljh

  This would not be an easy book to read when actually dying but it might be a very good one to read anyways. But that being said - this book should be read long before the time that you know you are dying as it has excellent points for living. The first part of the book looks at how our culture deals with the dying and especially the starkness of the hospital system.It then goes on to look at a number of different cultures and religions that face death and dying in very different and positive ways. It also has a number of studies proving the efficacy of the hospice system and finding health professionals that are honest and caring when dealing with terminal patients and their families. Keep in mind this book was written back in the 70's and thankfully I think a lot of this knowledge has slowly made it into the healthcare system. The book also has many wonderful stories from the dying and how knowing they were dying led them to growth. There is a reminder of the 5 stages of dying for oneself or a loved one (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance) but the better point I came out of reading this was the 3 goals of living - finding out who you are, committing to what matters and finding direction to meet that commitment. As you grow and radiate that outwards to others - that is how your life can matter and live on after death (the ripple in the water effect). Loved the idea that denying death can lead to a meaningless life as if you believe you will live forever you may postpone the things you know you must/should do. Death is the final stage of growth (obviously) but if we try to grow/better ourselves/strive for our goals each day as if it were our last - how much farther we might go and be happier about our lives rather than fearing our death. Dying is easy - living is hard!!! Surprisingly good book (despite the subject) to support my New Year's resolution - "This is my life. This second. PAY ATTENTION."
• 
  Kiwi

  This was one of those life-changing books. I tend to think that's what books involving death are. I got many strange looks and surprised comments about my reading such a book. I could merely quirk a brow and attempt inadequately to explain. How can one talk about life without the shadow or death to give it depth and dimension? How can one talk about death without the path leading up to it? They're very connected. Life wouldn't mean much without death, and death wouldn't mean anything without life. Seems silly to me to talk endlessly of one and leave the other a taboo.
  
  I support this book being passed around and read. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes it's emotional, but (for me) it was always worth reading through to the next page. After all, we know in the end it's going to end well: we're still living. We can take the messages about death and use them in life, the way the terminally ill in the book could not. They learned, yes, and it's so beautiful that they did--but they learned right before they were gone. Acceptance, it is a wonder. But accepting death (not seeking it, not agonizing over it, not denying it) before being faced with it so intimately is also a wonder. A lasting wonder, that could last decades.
  
  I imagine those lucky enough to have grown up knowing about death, viewing it as the not so amiable but still vitally important neighbor who visits from time to time and respecting it as such. I imagine those lucky enough to see that and accept it as part of life, not as something that must not be talked about (at all costs, no goodness no, even one's refuse may be talked about over this subject matter!) and not ignored. I imagine those lucky enough to take part in their own living through acknowledgment of their own deaths and those of their loved ones.
  
  It was a great book. That's essentially the gist.
• 
  Stacey

  Week 9
  
  I would never have guessed that a book about death could really be so inspiring about life. This collection of pieces, gathered by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, was a wonderfully crafted journey along the path we must walk when dealing with the inevitable in our lives; from different cultural understandings of death to how we can interact with terminally ill loved ones, ways we can work to accept our own mortality to steps that may help us grow in that process. And at the very end, discussing how our perception of death changes our lives. A key factor to relationship with death is in fact our western death-denying attitude. This unwillingness to accept the full path of life causes great psychological harm when we are dealing with the death of loved ones or faced with it in ourselves. It also inhibits our ability to fully live. As I moved through the last chapters of the book I began to underline more phrases and concepts which resonated with me.
  
  Mwalimu Imara's pieces was superb. It provided a framework for understanding that gaining peace through any transition (with death being the largest and final one) comes when we "live lives of awareness, mutual self-communication, and direction" (159). This means accepting yourself for who you truly are, committing to communicating that self to others and actively listening to he significant others who are communicating with you, and living out that commitment with everything you do. And yet, it "is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty, purposeless lives; for when you live as if you'll live forever, it becomes too easy to postpone the things you know that you must do" (164). And so, this book about death in fact opened up a whole lot more insight into life than I would ever have imagined when I picked it up from Goodwill.
• 
  Elyssa

  Not as good as
  On Death and Dying, but still an important work in the collection of books that Kubler-Ross wrote to bring awareness to the taboo topic of death.
• 
  Joan

  As a young woman and nurse, this author captivated me with her ability to work with the dying without utter grief. She surprised me with her scientific way of describing reincarnation. It opened doors for me into reading many other books and refreshing my outlook on working with the dying, including myself.
• 
  Rebecca

  This is a collection of essays curated by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, the woman who created the five stages of grief and became famous for her On Death & Dying seminars which included candid conversations with terminally ill people. In this book, the essays and personal interjections between them pose the idea of death as the final stage of growth, and how the inevitability of death can add renewed meaning and purpose to living. The essays range from the function of hospitals (and the affront terminally ill patients pose to these institutions designed to evade death), the perception of death in other cultures, personal experiences with death of loved ones and oneself, and studies on what makes terminally ill people most happy, comfortable, and fulfilled in their final moments. The thesis of this book is that shifting our general perspective from a death-denying culture that worships youth and curses the brevity of life to one that honestly accepts and embraces the shortness of our existence, and does not flinch away from death and the many emotions surrounding that concept and experience, can lead to a life of greater presence, connection, and growth. I found this book to be thought-provoking and easy to read. It gave me much to think about and new ways to frame my human perspective to get the most out of every present moment before I'm dead!
• 
  Jodell

  I always like to read about death and dying because I feel it's something we should discuss and talk about way before it happens to us or a loved one. After all none of us are getting out of this alive. It's all a natural process that other people in different society's way better than us in America.
  
  My thought is for myself I'd like to go as humanly as my dogs go. I know they are dying I take them to the veterinarian; we go in a quiet room with soft music. My dog gets a sedation shot then I hold my dog with gentle love and tell them thank you for loving me and allowing me to love them. I talk to them and sing to them. Then when I'm ready my dog gets final shot and its instantaneously over. Its humane, its kind. It helps me to get through knowing they got humane treatment.
  I can only pray and hope I can go this way. I mean aren't I human and shouldn't I get to go in a humane way? Same with my loved ones? In my home surrounded by loved ones and being held and beloved.
• 
  Larry

  What I came to better realize and acknowledge, but never really thought much about it in the past, is that I have a finite number of days on earth. Each day, I come closer to my own demise. We all will die; as much as we try to ignore the fact. Whether one believes in the after life or not, we should make the best use of the days we have on earth. As EKR relates, one can also grow in the near proximity of our death.
  
  Not only do we have difficulty coming to terms with our mortality, but many hospitals and medical professional are not comfortable dealing with terminal patients due to lack of training or being hampered by their own aversion and denial of deathj.
• 
  Mark

  One of the seminal works on the psychology of death and dying. Interesting that her stages have not fully held up to subsequent analysis but continue to reflect popular notions of the grief process, often applied to any form of coming to terms with difficult news. Also interesting, her stages of grief model works extremely well as a character development overlay in fiction and biographical non-fiction stories. Why? Again, because the stages resonate with popular notions. In stories, what appears to be the case usually works better than more clinical, experimentally validated explanations.
• 
  Silvia Alice Botelho

  I like several portions of the book in regards to how a death-denying society does more harm than good in preparing us human beings for the inevitable last stage and how by denying death, we prevent ourselves from living meaningful lives.
  
  The author also touches in how medicine does not prepare people for dying - it actually sees it as a failure in their mission to "fixing" the health issues and how nowadays many people die in the hospitals - and many times alone - when the ideal is to die at home near the people we love.
  
  She also explains the 5 stages of grief in regards to death, being the one that created the framework and it's very useful. Having lost both my parents in a period of 18 months, I find it particularly comforting when the author mentions that God is a usual target of our anger in such circumstances because "He can take it". That allows us to see that this anger is a natural human response and that God's kindness and love makes Him understanding of our grief and we don't need to feel guilty about feeling the necessary feelings to avoid having repressed feelings exploding in the future.
  
  I've gotten good insights from this book. The downside is that she spends a lot of time explaining death rituals from different religions and although I am particularly interested in Judaism, the others were not relevant to me and I couldn't wait to move forward.
  
  I've read Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande and he goes deeper in the themes of denial of death, medicine and how to make better decisions and give people who are dying a better life until their time us up.
• 
  Jay

  This book is a little outdated -- I think it predates the widespread acceptance of hospice care -- but it does a really good job of explaining what it takes to have an acceptance of the one thing no one reading this can escape (sorry, that sounds a little threatening. it's just a fact that we are all going to die). I felt the research and the excepts were well done. I had heard Kubler-Ross's name (and the association with death), but this is the first time I read one of her books.
• 
  Valerie

  Helpful book to read before parents and loved ones are at the final stages so we know how to help them cope when the time comes. I didn't care for the way this was written but I still plan to read her other books.
• 
  Owlseyes

  “Death does not exist.”
  
  
  "She decides to found a hospice for children with the virus"
  
  
  
  https://przekroj.pl/en/society/all-th...
• 
  Stephen Bedard

  While an older work, there is plenty of helpful reflection on how different people face death.
• 
  Renato

  Extraordinarily introspective writing
  
  Mixes philosophy, religion, self help and therapy in a delightful blend. Takes you on a very deep introspective journey. A voyage within.
• 
  Christian Engler

  Death: The Final Stage of Growth is an especially enlightening work not simply because of the varied and knowledgeable contributed views to this particular volume, but because it approaches death and dying not from a scientific or psychological standpoint, but rather, from a cultural, sociological and mixed religious context. The essays that focus on the Eskimo, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist approach to death and dying are deeply taken into account, as are their rituals, their cultural approaches and their belief systems. But though all the faith approaches differ in one way or another, the unifying human elements are-for the most part-a consistent grief, fear, faith of a higher authority and the oncoming trials and tribulations that dying can and will entail, all of which unites us. Dignity should begin at the conception of life, and it does not cease until the last breath is taken and arrangements for what follows are respectfully set up. But in many cases, as illustrated in the section entitled: "The Organizational Context of Dying" by Hans O. Mauksch, once a person is diagnosed as having a terminal illness and thus becomes a full-time patient, (s)he, after stripping and handing over their possessions, is banded like a piece of property They then are quickly yet efficiently-like in the military or in religious life-slowly deloused of their sense of autonomy; they are gradually assilimated to the institution. And their physical and mental definitions are not fully acknowledged. It is not done out of spiteful cruelty, just ignorant insensitivity. But through psychological studies-as done by Kubler-Ross as well as others in the field-and radical restructuring in pallative care, hospitals are really no longer deemed as the menacing sick houses of olden times. Rather, the patient as a whole is acknowledged, not merely the physical self. The soul, the intelligence, the humor and wisdom. The "all" of the person is taken into account, and as that is so, the hospital environment in its own right changes for the better. But it stems from communication and compassion and facing what for almost all of us is the ultimate and insurmountable phobia. All in all, Death: The Final Stage of Growth is another excellent and necessary Kubler-Ross offering.
  
• 
  Crystal

  Because I hate to start something and not finish it, I chose to keep reading this to see why others gave it applause, raves and 5 stars. Well! The "author" borrowed several letters and essays written by others! So, I skipped the rest of her writing and read only what other contributors had to say on the very complicated, difficult subject of terminal illness. Most are very helpful, respectful, even encouraging. A couple are very strange...such as Dorothy Pitkin's Final Writings. How weird to include this. So, no, not a fan of this Kubler-Ross as an "author".
  
  
  I don't even want to give this rude little book one star. It is outdated, written in 1975, but this does not excuse the author, a psychiatrist with an MD to her name, for being ignorant, without sympathy, assuming, opinionated and insulting.
  This is cruelly and arrogantly written. Hostile to this society, culture, medical profession and faith. And, in the introduction, this woman makes a statement expressing her personal hope for one world religion. Ugh! Every once in a while I find a book I just might burn. This is one.
• 
  Emmanuel Vazquez

  Amazing book. My kindle book so had to see what physical books I could read. This came up and saw it had good review so decided to try it. Really good choice. Death is something we all will have to deal with at least once in our life. This book is correct in stating that the US society denies death, it seems that we don't think it exist. However the truth is that death does. As this book states many times you must learn to accept that one day it will all end, then you will start appreciating the days you have. I also likes that this book show different culture's view on death. This is a must for someone that has to deal with death, or someone that is dealing with the death of a loved one, or anyone living because our day will come. This is a must read. Amazing perspective on things and makes you think about what death and life really are.
• 
  Maggie

  Okay this book is old, so some of the information, I hope, is outdated. But in this book edited by Kubler-Ross has some interesting facts about different religion's view on death. It also showed how hospitals & doctors can make this whole process so much harder by their view that people should not die. Thanks for the book, Sharon.
• 
  Mari

  Dr. Ross shares her interviews with people who are on the verge of dying - most from long-term illnesses. I read this book before my own mother died from a brief battle with cancer and I feel it helped me to catch just a glimpse of what she was going through in the dying process.
  
  =^..^=
  mb
• 
  Elizabeth Puntolillo

  There wasn't a lot of new information for me here, and overall I found it slightly tiresome. But others might not feel the same; I just happened to have already come across similar info in other books.
• 
  Thom

  difficult to read, but personally important information
• 
  Shaya

  I liked this book but didn't end up finishing it because I had to return it to the library.