| Title | : | Lasting Love: How to Avoid Marital Failure |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0802434053 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780802434050 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 256 |
| Publication | : | First published January 1, 1997 |
Lasting Love: How to Avoid Marital Failure Reviews
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This short little book should be required reading for all couples - from those planning their wedding to those who have been married for years. It’s so easy to fall into a rut where familiarity and predictability can lead to taking one another for granted and all the threats to a healthy marriage that opens up. If you think it can’t happen to you then beware! This gem of a book is full of sound principles and practical ideas, all underpinned by biblical truth from the One who designed marriage.
A quick read - but one with lasting benefits. -
Disclaimer:
I'm not married, therefore all my thoughts on this book are extremely subjective.
Three Pros and Three Pros
Pros:
*Mr. Beggs uses the Bible to back up his information - which really, is there any other way to do it? He's also a pastor who's been married for a long time and counseled a lot of people with marriage issues, so he seems very qualified to write this book
*Other than the beginning, I found this book to be very easy to read, grasp, and be drawn into. The information is imparted in a kind and caring way - you can tell Mr. Begg really cares about people - and yet he also stands firmly on God's Word
*The book has good balance - showing a fairly in-depth look at both the husband and wife's role in marriage
Cons:
*The inside of the book - as in the literal, physical inside of the book - wasn't the easiest for me to read. I'm not sure if it was because of the size of the font or what, but it took a bit for me to get past that and into the content of the book
*Apparently this book was first published in 1997, but I didn't know that while reading. I know that's a little thing, but I think it would have helped the book make slightly more sense to me if I would have known that from the get-go. The con was not being aware of that - not the fact on its own
*The beginning of this book wasn't my style, but as I continued reading I found a trove of great information
CONCLUSION & Rating
This is a marriage book and I don't really recommend those because who am I to recommend a marriage book? But I most certainly don't unrecommend it. ;) I’m giving Lasting Love four out of five stars – Thank you to Moody Press for sending me a copy to review. Y'all are great. -
I seem to read a lot of books on marriage lately (well, three so far this year). Alistair Begg’s book is worth picking up. As he notes in the beginning, he’s writing primarily to pre-married or early married folks, and they’re the first people I’d recommend this book to. But I expect anyone who comes with a willingness to evaluate honestly will find food for thought.
Begg did a great job of, as he said, “beginning with theological foundations and then building levels of practical application on the strength of the underlying material.” Once establishing the groundwork for the covenantal aspect of marriage, he didn’t spend much time dwelling on the mystery of it (Eph 5:23), but the reader could consult Piper’s This Momentary Marriage for a thorough visitation of that text.
He addresses a variety of topics ranging from singleness to infidelity to parenthood to practical tips to “hedge” your marriage against the weeds that seek to choke out the life. Certainly some of Begg’s views will not be agreed upon by all readers. I am not as convinced as Begg that women (barring certain extenuating circumstances) are required to remain in the home when they become mothers, but I am willing to hear out his point of view. That particular item isn’t addressed at length in the book, but other readers may find different items to disagree with.
I only noted a few places where the book seemed to show it’s age (original printing in 1997), but overall the topics remained relevant and the advice applicable to a 2015 audience.
I received a review copy from NetGalley -
A very quick read, this book should be a requirement for all in pre-marital counseling. Any Christian can glean such wonderful and practical advice on marriage. This is a book that was written for men and women, parents and childless. Truly a gem of Godly advice from a man who has been a pastor, husband, and father for many years, Lasting Love needs to be at the top of all Christian’s books on marriage. Topics of affairs, divorce, parenting, marriage counseling, lasting relationships, and keeping Christ and the vow in front of the Lord at the forefront of marriage, we’re discussed. An absolutely precious book that will be a re-read yearly.
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The beginning of the book is a review for most married couples but great for newlyweds or married individuals seeking to live out their vow in the covenantal confession before God and man. The middle helps each man and woman understand the God-giving role and responsibility of that relationship of marriage. The end sums it all up and has questions to refresh and reuse for later help.
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Marriage was created for the lifelong help and comfort which husband and wife ought to give to each other. It exists for the well-being of family life so that children, who are gifts from God, might be brought up in the instruction of the Lord. Marriage strengthens human society, which remains healthy only when the marriage bond is held in honor.
The above statement may be hard to grasp in this day and age but it is a picture of redemption, the gospel and the design of God, the creator for His creation. Ironies among ironies, today I am celebrating along with my husband 30 years of marriage. We have had our share of heartaches and troubles, however, when one has not been committed, the other has. I do believe God’s design for marriage as stated in the bible and the clarification in this study of Lasting Marriage is one that is not made in selfishness but out of sacrifice. Not being a doormat but living together in support of each other. Living in our gender roles to protect, cherish and encourage and partner. However, we are human and our selfishness comes through but only when we empty ourselves and live for Christ can we truly in light of God’s design for marriage.
A high view of marriage is the attitude that helps us see our roles of husband and wife more clearly and appreciation of those roles. The benefits of these roles give family stability and strength and less of chaos that can come from a misunderstanding of these roles. I was encouraged not because I am doing them per se but that there is a better way in trusting God that I can miss.
Communication and togetherness makes a marriage rich and satisfying. Many times there is loneliness in marriage because communication is nonexistent. We must guard our marriages in all areas and never be the one to say “not my marriage”. Begg makes great strides in this study on how and how we do not guard our marriage. This is very insightful and applicable. Sometimes marriage can be one sided and a book like this can discouraging, however, remaining faithful in your walk and making precautions of any abuse is a must. If you find yourself in that, it is suggested and encouraged to get help. We are never encouraged to walk alone and especially when we need the encouragement of Godly people in our lives.
Some of my favorite quotes are:
Greatest opportunities to show the differences Jesus makes in our hearts and in our homes: not in producing perfect children; not in being perfect wives, or perfect mothers, or perfect husbands. Instead, being honest enough to admit our defeats, acknowledge our struggles, and affirm our dependence upon the Lord Jesus.
As a husband and father, I am forced to recognize that “If Christianity doesn’t work at home, then it doesn’t work!
The enjoyment we derive from something is directly related to the time and trouble we take to nurture and care for it.
In the meantime, these healthy marriage ingredients of carefulness, endeavor, communication, sacrifice and imagination must remain priorities whether or not we sense immediate rewards for them. Plant them around your marriage as you would hedge around your property. Paying attention to these principles will ensure that with God’s help you will erect a barrier that will stand the test of time.
Marriage is a gift from God. It is part of the creation that God set forth. It is not a competition but where a man and woman compliment each other where God reveals our strengths and weakness to bring Glory to him and the Gospel.
A Special Thank you to Moody Publishers and Netgalley for ARC and the opportunity to post an honest review. -
Subtitled, How to Avoid Marital Failure, this is a solid Biblical treatment of the challenge of marriage, from courtship through old age. Replete with Scripture and examples, Begg does an excellent job of laying out the pitfalls and blessings of the marriage union. Chapters include:
When marriage doesn’t go according to plan - when life hits
Before we say “I do” - preparing for the event as designed by God
Sealed with a vow - understand the power of a vow before God
The role of a wife
The role of a husband
Pulling weeds - clearing out what does not need to be there
Planting hedges - protecting the sanctity of your marriage
In his intro, the author writes: “In the chapters that follow, I hope you will discover ‘a relatively small number of true fundamental movements’ that will make your marriage more consistent.”
An excellent resource for couples contemplating marriage as well as those in the throes of the adventure we know as marriage. It also includes a study guide for spouse and group discussion. -
I love Alistair Begg. He knows how to gently but firmly hit the nail on the head. This book delivers what a biblical marriage is suppose to look like, what we need to do to put God back in our marriage, and how we can avoid marriage pit falls.
I knew that this would be a good read and I went into it expecting to love it, and I did. I know that I can use this on all walks of life: In the struggles of marriage as well as the good times. Enjoyed and will read again. -
Excellent book! Will be one of my go to books for marriage counseling and recommends on the topic.
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Nothing earth-shattering about this book, but just good, basic, Biblical and practical reminders about how to continue to love and care and be selfless in one's marriage, from year one to year 50+. This isn't a book one would find helpful if he/she is already on the brink of divorce, but probably better for someone like me who is looking to brush up on good marriage habits, and keep the good times rolling. Good advice to singles as well, and some sound parenting tips.
"Love is not to be a victim of our emotions, but is to be a servant of our wills." -
A very practical book about marriage. I loved the author's method of mostly using real life stories, drawing lessons from them.
I din't agree with the lists shared in the section 'what to look for in a man/woman'. These things don't mostly start from lists, mostly.
Doctrinally I agree with the writer's thoughts especially on the subject divorce. Last story shared was amazing and one everyone should get to hear. -
I’m only giving it three stars because there were parts that really made sense and in those moments, he did a tremendous job. But there are some parts that I can’t get behind. Maybe the fact it was written 25 years ago? But I will use the parts that resonated with me.
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Good book, very basic. Probably better suited for a younger couple, new in marriage. But still very good and worth the read.
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Some of this was super good. However, I greatly disliked what he said about woman needing to stay in the home.
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Excellent book for thinking through the responsibilities of marriage and practical tips for how to work hard in marriage. It is sobering to read.
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3.5 stars. A gift from my brother. Biblical based, Christian, lots to think about.
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A wonderfully written book. Alistair Begg is an amazing preacher and his book doesn't disappoint. I highly recommend this book and Alistair Begg.
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Excellent book for a quick check up on your marriage. By the grace of God and an extra dose of forgiving a marriage can last!
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This is a concise, helpful, and enjoyable book to read before marriage. Some remarks about culture he makes are a bit outdated, but they do not deter the reader from the larger points he makes.
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Read this book. If you’re married, read it. If you’re thinking of getting married, same.,
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Basic supplement to your Bible reading. Would only recommend to single Christians as an introduction to this subject.
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In terms of clarity, biblical faithfulness and pastoral tone - an excellent work.
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I've read a few Christian marital books over the past several years. I enjoy reading them because it confirms or shows me what I'm doing right or wrong. I have yet to find a book that can compare to "Love and Respect" but this one is a good read.
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“Jesus was pointing out that human marriage is made in heaven but not retained in heaven. (Matt 22:30) The marriage of eternity is better than the marriage of time... It was not good for Adam to be without Eve in the garden of Eden, but it will be fine for him to be without her in the new heavens and the new earth. Marriage is eternal in its significance, not because it lasts for eternity, but because it can be used to equip us for eternity.”
Received two books from my Truth for Life sub, and featuring one today. Apart from its insanely gorgeous embossed wedding-white cover with gold foil lettering, the contents of “Gospel Shaped Marriage” are certainly worth keeping deep in our hearts and in the forefront of our minds.
From the hilarious EMOJI (Early Morning Orange Juice Incident) to serious exhortations on marriage, this book makes for excellent reading. Though tiny, it contains so much depth.
“Submission is not the artificial ‘yes, dear’ of yesteryear. It means a dignified, humble, loving gift of one’s self to one’s husband. It is important to see that submission is more than a mere duty… No, submission refers to a role, even more than that, a perspective or orientation that characterises how she does what she does.”
Lots of good food for thought for how God gives “grace for saved sinners to love like saints”.
9/10 ⭐️
#whatareyoureadingsg #readingnationsg #lbbreads #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #bookreview #beautifulbookcovers #ReformedLiterature #TruthforLife #TruthforLifeMinistries #ChadandEmilyVanDixhoorn #AlistairBegg #GospelShapedMarriage -
Can I just start and end my review with "I love this book"?
No?
Fine, I'll begin with saying in a sea of marital books (christian or not) Begg does an amazing job at standing out.
I'll also state that if you are not a christian (or if you're a "christian" living a worldly life style) you will NOT like this book.
"If you are going to be at all successful in avoiding marital failure, it is imperative that we exercise our minds in the truth of scripture and yield our wills in submission to God's clear directives." -page 32
"We should never allow the lifestyle and thought patterns of ungodly neighbors and work associates to capture our minds. As Paul put it succinctly; 'Do not be misled; bad company corrupts good character.' 1 Corinthians 15:33." -page 86
Beggs entire foundation on marriage is a biblical foundation; what the scripture says about marriage. He is not politically correct (which can I say is amazing and refreshing!)
"God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16). In light of this truth, we must not approach marriage with divorce as an option."-page 89
"In Titus 2:4 we are told that it is important that wives be taught to love their husbands and children. Does that not strike you strange? Taught to love? 'I thought,' says a young wife, 'that you either felt it for him or you didn't. But I never considered being taught to love him.' This kind of response indicates how heavily we have come to rely on the notion of romantic love as the basis for our marital relationship." -page 116
He does say that this book is for those looking to get or are newly married; though I think it can help anyone. I love the "Pulling Weeds" chapter, about getting rid of "weeds" in our lives that can lead to marital failure.
I cannot even begin to express how much I loved this book. 5 out of 5!
I received this book in exchange for an honest review. All opinions expressed are my own. -
When I started this book, I really wasn't sure that I liked it. The writing style was not my favorite, but as I got further in, it got better. The author really tries to be real. He discusses the real dangers and challenges, the real issues that must be considered, the questions that ought to be raised before two people marry, and the responsibilities that ought to be fulfilled after marriage. But he's not blind to the fact that most people want happy, enjoyable marriages. He points out that God's purpose for marriage is to bring Him glory, and happy, committed marriages will do just that. He provides concrete suggestions to make and keep a marriage happy and healthy. I'm not in the place to put most of this book into practice (Although one chapter is titled "Before we say 'I Do'"), but I'm glad to have the opportunity to learn from someone who has studied God's Word and helped many couples with their marriages.
