Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg

Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships Reviews

• 
  Nistha Tripathi

  If you are actually serious about working on your relationships, friendships, then you MUST read this book. NVC is a promising paradigm. Despite best intentions, I am bad at expressing my feelings. And the way I end up expressing them can make someone feel as if I am putting them under a judgment lens. I used to often feel frustrated because I could never communicate my needs (yeah, happens more with females :) ) in a manner where other person did not get on defensive. So, I was laughing out loud at some points in this book because I have done exactly the things mentioned here. I am sure it takes a lot of practice to put this technique into everyday lives but then everything worth having (including beautiful relationships) needs efforts.
  I had never been afraid of putting efforts but I just felt directionless. With this, I can see a concrete way of thinking and action strategy that I can try and for that reason alone, I am giving it 5 stars.
• 
  Nicholas Pateman

  
  
  I'm giving this book only 2 starts and that's mainly due to the way it is excellently written, very easy to read without getting stuck in overly complex sentences. Unfortunately that's the only good thing I can say about the book. This is the first book I've read (partly read in this instance) on NVC, and to be honest, the anecdotal conversations are cringe worthy and I know of no situation where they would work. Talking to anyone in that way instantly gets their heckles up, it needs to be far more natural, not structured responses and cutting people off when you are "bored" with what they are saying. I'm sure this has it's place in a psychiatrists life, but not every day people trying to improve their life with others. I've got anther book on NVC to read, I just hope that one is a lot better!
• 
  Šimon Demočko

  I love NVC and there were some enlightening moments reading this piece. What I didn't like is that this is a transcript. I'd like to just watch the original video. There are many switches in who says what and people role-playing and switching their roles a lot which makes it very confusing to understand who is saying what to whom, if it goes to a role or then put of role play and for real. This would be much easier to understand from a video or some better clarification from the text. Or if it was rewritten from a transcript into a nonconversational text.
  
  Another thing I didn't like was that there's quite an overlap of same stories already used in the original Nonviolent communication book, so after reading this, there's some repetition.
• 
  Zahra Zarrinfar

  عشق انکار خود و انجام کاری برای دیگران نیست، بلکه عشق ابراز صادقانه‌ی هر احساس و نیازی است که داریم و دریافت همدلانه‌ی احساسات و نیازهای طرف دیگر. دریافت همدلانه به این معنی نیست که تو باید اطاعت کنی ـ صرفا دقیقا دریافت چیزی است که فرد دیگر به عنوان هدیه‌ی زندگی ابراز کرده. عشق ابراز صادقانه‌ی نیازهای خودمان است؛ این به معنی طرح درخواست آمرانه نیست، بلکه فقط، «من این هستم، این چیزی است که دوست دارم.»

  
  
  در حال حاضر شمارش از دستم در رفته که این چندمین کتابی است که در حوزه‌ی ارتباط بدون خشونت می‌خونم و از لحاظ تئوری نسبت به کتاب اصلی حرف جدیدی ندارد ولی ازین لحاظ که این کتاب از روی یک جلسه پرسش و پاسخ در زمینه روابط عاطفی بوده مثال‌های خیلی خوب و عملی دارد.
  
  مثلا: هنگام شنیدن انتقاد
  وقتی طرفمان بیش از اندازه صحبت می‌کند
  وقتی متوجه نمی‌شویم طرفمان واقعا چه می‌خواهد
  وقتی طرفمان فکر می‌کند قصدمان مشاجره است و نمی‌خواهد حرف تلخ بشنود
  وقتی عمدتا مردها با احساساتشان در تماس نیستند، یا عمدتا زن‌ها واضح خواستشان را بیان نمی‌کنند،(که البته هر دوی این‌ها ریشه‌های فرهنگی و تربیتی دارد و در مورد همه‌ی مردها و زن‌ها صادق نیست)
  وقتی رابطه‌ی بلندمدت را از دست دادن هویتت می‌دانی
  وقتی درخواست‌هایت آمرانه شنیده می‌شود و طرف فکر می‌کند استقلالش در خطر است
  و...
  
  زبان ارتباط بدون خشونت یک زبان قاطع است که احساسات و نیازهای هر دو طرف گفتگو بیان و شنیده می‌شود.
• 
  Michael Idris Merchant

  This is a great dive into applying needs based communication (aka nonviolent communication) to our most important relationships.
  
  I highly recommend reading the intro book before reading this: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
• 
  Déa

  Pas mon préféré parmi tout les petit livres que j'ai lu. Celui ci regorge de situation transcrite depuis une conférence de Marshall, et on passe parfois d'une phrase à une autre sans logique car le but est de traiter des thèmes précis. Par exemple « comment dire non » «découvrir ce que nous voulons » etc.
  J'ai largement préféré celui sur la colère par exemple. Je conseillerais celui ci sur l'amour à des personnes qui connaissent déj�� les bases de la CNV et qui veulent des exemples de scènes pour arriver à clarifier leur propos.
  C'est sur, en 2023 je vais enfin lire le classique « Les mots sont des murs...» ! Assez picoré, je suis vraiment intriguée ! Vais-je en apprendre beaucoup plus avec le gros livre ? J'ai hâte de le savoir !
• 
  Seyed Amin

  ترجمه رووان٬ ولی بعضی جاها گیج کننده و نامشخص
  به نظر میرسه که کتاب ویرایش خوبی نداشته
  <<از طرفی مشخص نیست که آیا این کتاب رو باید قبل از کتاب <<ارتباط بدون خشونت، زبان زندگی خواند و یا بعد از این کتاب
  شخصا این کتاب اولی کتابی بود که از این نویسنده/مترجم مطالعه کردم
  بهم انگیزه داده که کتاب ارتباط بدون خشونت رو هم مطالع کنم
  ولی از طرفی بدون داشتن دانش از اون کتاب٬‌بهش هایی از این کتاب هم برام مفهوم نبود
• 
  YOKO

  It’s a short book, easy to read.
  I couldn't help feeling the warmth and care toward humanness we all share in Dr. Rosenberg’s words shared in the book.
  I consider NVC as one of the greatest arts/gifts/tools we can use to truly enjoy, celebrate who we are and to enrich our lives.
  It gave me a good opportunity to meditate on what love really is and how I would want to express it.
• 
  Anita

  Checked out this book from the library after watching
  an excellent YouTube video featuring Marshall Rosenberg on nonviolent communication. I didn't love the format of this book (a transcript of a workshop), but it does provide helpful real world examples of how to apply the principles in one's own life.
• 
  Tatiane R. Lima

  A versão em Português, Amo você sendo quem sou, foi lançada pela Palas Athena e traz textos de palestras, entrevistas e workshops. Algumas histórias estão no livro Comunicação Não-Violenta, que, por isso, acabo recomendando mais.
• 
  Ors

  Don't buy it. Wasted money. It's just a transcript of Marshall Rosenberg lectures, workshops and so on - you are better off with watching his videos online or reading his other book. Once you understand the concept of NVC, this book is redundant.
• 
  Rajiv

  This booklet has given me many insights on the way to express more assertively and being more specific with own feelings and needs and as well of others. It also states that one is conscious of others needs and respect it, however, it does not mean that I will have to give up or give in to my needs. It is possible to satisfy everyone needs if we learn to identify the core needs behind all expression.
  This booklet is some sort of role-plays between Marshall Rosenborg and participants, therefore it's like more vivid experience, and I found myself taking notes constantly. A must read book...highly recommended.
• 
  Jean A.

  This was a short summary of the NVC guidelines with examples. It was a good introduction. I intend to read his original publication next.
• 
  Muriel Mattiussi

  Tres americain
• 
  Ryan Miller

  All excerpts from his talks. Interesting read and addition to NVC.
• 
  HamidReza

  کتابیه که برای هر پوینده ی راه برقراری ارتباطی صحیح و سالم ، عاری از بغض ، حسد و خشم میتونه کمک کننده باشه ، من دو بار پشت سر هم کتاب رو خوندم و غرق در لذت شدم.
• 
  Gemma

  Practical but somewhat superficial guide offers a handy elaboration of how to apply Nonviolent Communication in daily situations and conversations.
• 
  Cyrus Molavi

  Short and sweet. This is essentially a transcript of a few interactions at workshops held by NVC's author. It was a nice way to review the communication framework with a little entertainment.
• 
  Caleb Merryman

  Rosenberg is a good guy. If you have half a brain, you should read this book. This book is GREAT. Your life will be miserable if you don’t read it.
• 
  Mark Manderson

  This is a quick and must read. It teaches you how to recognize what you're feeling and how to communicate what you need.
• 
  Yuhan

  Being Me, Loving You
  
  Being that this was not a novel, I cannot really use my normal star rating system that I borrowed from my friend. I grew up with the NVC (nonviolent communication) process. My mother and grandmother were both very interested in this, I however had never read any of the books or gone to any of the meeting/workshops for this. This book was the second one I've read. My sister read the book 'Speak Peace in a World of Conflict' for a school assignment, and she had enjoyed the book immensely. She began applying the techniques of communication that she learned from the book when she was baby sitting our nephew, who was 18 months at the time. This brought an interest for me to read Rosenberg's books. I read "Getting Past the Pain Between Us" first, hoping it would help with the process of grieving, since I've lost my father 4 months ago. It did not. But it was still interesting enough to bring me to this book. I thought this book would be suitable for a couple to read together. I would recommend it. The book was, to me, structured like a workbook, that a couple could, together, work through. The information in the book, would be very helpful for couples that are looking for a way to communicate and understand each other in a nonjudgemental and appropriate way. to lean how to be assertive when there are differences between the couple and how those differences might be resolved.
• 
  Erin

  I was very much underwhelmed by this book(let). I went into in thinking it would be a guide to applying Non-Violent Communication (NVC) skills specifically to romantic relationships. My partner was recently introduced to NVC and has found some parts of it to be very eye-opening and helpful, so I wanted to get a better grasp of the technique so maybe we could incorporate some of the strategies into our lives.
  
  Ugh, just no.
  
  While some of Marshall's points make sense, his hard-line stances just aren't applicable to actual life. Some of the professional criticisms of NVC raise similar objections, like Bitschnau, who says NVC "is unlikely to allow everyone to express their feelings and have their needs met in real life as this would require inordinate time, patience and discipline." Kashtan says that NVC can easily be used as an oppressive tool, giving the user the appearance of love and kindness while masking manipulation.
  
  Also, the format of the book is super annoying. It's essentially a transcript of a seminar, but it severely lacks cohesiveness. And instead of really discussing techniques (beyond the 4-part approach), it just addresses the individual issues that attendees raise, which wasn't help (or even er applicable). I was looking for a systemic approach, not a litany of examples.
  
  In all, I'll take away a few helpful nuggets, but no more than that. I'm glad the book was so short because it wasn't really worth my time.
• 
  Nicki

  I think this is a really smart format for folks to read, especially those of us who can't afford to attend a workshop. I fear, though, that if you don't have a decent grasp of NVC that a lot of what he's saying would be lost on a reader (For example, the parts about screaming in NVC; that idea isn't explain in this book and if you aren't familiar with NVC you might interpret that as actually screaming...).
• 
  Kelly

  Excellent book on applying nonviolent communication to relationships. I found the transcripts of his workshops very helpful; I loved the dialogues.