Family Meals: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent by Michael Tucker

Family Meals: Coming Together to Care for an Aging Parent Reviews

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  Book Concierge

  
  I like Tucker’s writing. I really enjoyed
  Living in a Foreign Language where he chronicled the process he and wife Jill Eikenberry went through buying a house in Italy. He has a lovely pace to his writing and a sort of self-deprecating humor that is just right, somewhat reminiscent of Peter Mayle. So I was looking forward to how he would deal with the issue of aging parents and how families juggle responsibilities and careers to accommodate the needs of various family members.
  
  This is an issue that I (and many of my friends) struggle with. How to help Mom or Dad when you live and work half a continent away? When do we step in and take over financial decisions? When do we take away the car? Hire caregivers? Move our parent(s) into assisted living or a nursing home or a memory care unit (i.e. Alzheimer’s ward)? How do we handle how we feel having to do all these things?
  
  Tucker does touch on these issues, but he also spends a good deal of the book on his life “away” from the issues, and focused on food. (And his way of writing about food is nothing short of delicious!) Perhaps it was because the aging parent in this case is his wife’s mother and not his, but there was a certain distance from the issues in the book that left me … hungry and vaguely dissatisfied. Perhaps it was just that the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to his style of writing. I was happy for him that the situation worked out as it did, but it didn’t completely resonate with me.
  
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  Lucille

  Loved it
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  Karen Shilvock-Cinefro

  Explains the logistics that the family went through to care for their mother. I was expecting more information on the dementia of their mother and her care but most of the book told by the son-in-law was about his wife and their life together. It was interesting of all the family interactions and them as a couple but did not cover as much of the care of the aging parent as I had expected. It is listed under biography and is definitely a biography on his wife and his responses.
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  Judy Iliff

  What a lovely book!I'm sometimes leery of books written by actors. Why? I'm not sure, but it seems, at least lately, that ever actor under the sun thinks s/he can also write. Some can and some can't. Michael Tucker can. Even more amazing, I think this was a free book for a day for the Kindle from Amazon.
  
  Family meals seem to be more a tradition from our youths, but they did serve the purpose of keeping the family connected as well as fed. As with many of us, Tucker's biological family has left to begin their own lives and careers. Also like many of us, Tucker and his wife Jill Eikenberry, have reached the time in their lives when they are looking forward to beginning their retirements if not full-time, at least part time in their home in Italy. And just like the "best laid plans" by us, life throws a curve ball into the Tucker's lives when Jill's mother's husband dies and Lora, the mother, shows definite signs of dementia.
  
  The book not only describes in detail the many meals the Tuckers share with the friends in both Italy and New York, but the process both Jill and Michael go through to find peace with the decisions they must make for Lora including moving her from Santa Barbara to an apartment across the hall from them. In addition, the Tucker children both move back to New York and become an integral part of helping with Lora and "coming home" as a family, back to the table, so to speak.
  
  Family Meals is well crafted with great voice, wonderful descriptions, and true honesty.
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  Barbara VA

  I loved ths book as much as you can love a memoir about a man who so clearly loves and, even better, understands and supports his wife of 30+ years, is not afraid to talk about it and then makes the decision to share the agonies that they go thru with an aging mother and her descent into dementia. I have read other books by Mr Tucker and he is a witty and laid back writer. His prose is conversatinal and I just want to sit on a comfortable chair outside at his Umbrian home with a glass of wine and listen to him talk, about anything he desires, for hours.
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  Cheryl Schibley

  I just finished Michael Tucker's 3rd book and it was wonderful. He's funny, sensitive, honest and just a very good writer. I especially love hearing about his time in Umbria with his wife, Jill and all their friends, not to mention all the great food he eats. Keep writing Michael. His account of his aging mother-in-law is sweet, funny and realistic.
  
  
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  Marcie Lovett

  Endearing story of how a couple's life changes when they begin caring for the wife's mother, who has dementia. Michael Tucker turns what could be a heartbreaking story into one that is sometimes comical and often moving. How the family manages to deal with the new reality is pretty amazing and, although the book is a memoir, it never feels heavyhanded. A very easy, pleasant read
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  Barbara Mader

  I enjoy reading his writing about food and Italy. This book was more ambitious and had more substance. I'm intrigued too by how he depicts himself in his family relationships.
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  Jim Peterson

  I loved Michael Tucker's "Living in a Foreign Language" book. This is a great followup. He is living my Italian life.