| Title | : | Swamp Story |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1982191333 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781982191337 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 320 |
| Publication | : | First published May 2, 2023 |
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the “Everglades Melon Monster.” The Monster is, in fact, an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head. Incredibly, this plan actually works, inspiring a horde of TikTokers to swarm into the swamp in search of the Monster at the same time villains are on the hunt for Jesse’s treasure. Amid this mayhem, a presidential hopeful arrives in the Everglades to start his campaign. Needless to say, it does not go as planned. In fact, nothing in this story goes as planned. This is, after all, Florida.
Swamp Story Reviews
-
Pinky arrived punctually and silently in a highly modified Tesla equipped with bulletproof glass, a sound system that could liquefy granite and a front seat customized to accommodate Pinky’s body, which weighed a tad over 430 pounds and measured nearly the same horizontally as vertically. Pinky, whose real name was Bob Kearful, had once been a standout nose tackle at the University of Florida and probably would have gone to the NFL had it not been for a crucial play in the Florida-Georgia game during which he bit off the little finger of a Georgia offensive guard and refused to spit it out. This conduct was deemed so unsportsmanlike that Pinky was permanently banned from the game, though it also earned him his nickname and the undying affection of Gator fans.
Florida Man re-appears after years away as a novelist, having written an incredibly funny book! Police bring him in for questioning.
Ok, let’s play Sunshine State Bingo
Rednecks with weapons, minimal brain cells, and dreams of gold – of course
Foreign-born gangsters with access to tech, and no access to decency – I am shocked, shocked
A crooked lawyer with expensive tastes and a serious gambling habit – no, never
A sleazy politician with White House ambitions and zero scruples – In Florida? Surely you jest.
An uber-vain stud-muffin with an uncontrtollable desire to doff his shirt for the camera, and zero desire to care for or protect his wife and child – a vanishing breed, I expect. Probably the last of his kind.
A group of internet-star wannabees who, while in various states of intoxication from alcohol and diverse other substances, concoct a plot to fake a monster sighting to boost business – oh, that never happens
A former news anchor reduced to covering things like the annual Florida Python challenge – not a happy camper. There were fewer opportunities in the time before blogs became de rigeur for the unwillingly unemployed media crowd
A nice guy who wants to be with the girl – Stop right there. Who let the normie in? Well, the male normie.
Snakes – Yep, and snakes were intended to have been even more of a presenceOriginally this book was going to be much snakier. Then I had breakfast with Carl [Hiaasen], and he had just finished writing “Squeeze Me.”
Gators – wouldn’t be a Florida novel without ‘em
I said, what’s it about? And he said, it’s in Palm Beach and there are pythons. I said, are there a lot of pythons in it? And he said yes.
So in “Swamp Story” the missing Confederate gold treasure buried in the Everglades sort of replaced the pythons in the plot. - from the Tampa Bay Times interview
A wild boar comfort pet – Wait, what?
Fictitious swamp monsters - you betcha
Buried Treasure – as noted above. Bet you didn’t have that one.
Dave Barry - image from Literary Hub
We meet Slater as he is struggling to videotape the mother of his child, and the child, as they are attacked by a giant python. But hold on, will ya, while we replace the camera batteries. It’ll only be a sec. The man lives for footage, preferably footage that includes his impressive torso but footage of his gf and baby being devoured by a giant reptile would also be pretty cool, don’t ya think?He wore a filthy pair of cut-off University of Florida sweatpants, nothing else. Yet he still looked better than 99.999 percent of all human males who had ever walked the Earth. He was strikingly handsome in a classic Tom Cruise—in–his–prime way—thick, jet-black hair; brilliant green eyes; high cheekbones; square jaw. He was tall, a foot taller than Cruise, and his body, despite the fact that he never seemed to do anything for it, was spectacular—lean, muscular and sculpted, the body of an elite athlete in peak condition.
Jesse knows she is in a dead-end relationship, but had not thought that would mean literally dead. As fortune would have it, though, during one of her walks with Willa, her nursing baby girl, fathered unfortunately by a narcissist who wants to be known as Glades Man, she stumbles across a buried treasure. Thank you, Jesus, a ticket out of the swamp version of bum-fu#$-nowhere. But how to go about getting the bars somewhere safe, and figuring out how to cash them in?Who inspired Slater?
The Bortle brothers, owners of Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer, make their primary living selling weed, beer being in short supply, somehow, and the bait being maybe 50% dead. The loo could use a cleaning this millennium, too. They decide to make a video of a fake monster to draw the curious and idiotic, both groups known to spend money on things like Monster Man T-shirts. These guys sure know how to dream big. If you film it, they will come. And, of course, it happens. Their video goes viral, and the earth tilts on its axis, dumping the most loosely connected to the planet to the Everglades.
There are a lot of Slater-like guys in Miami. There are large sections, a whole community of people who are all about looks, about appearance. Looks are very important in this town.
So he’s just the distilled essence of a million guys walking around admiring their own beauty
That’s the essence of Slater — to the people who are into reality TV, nothing is as important to them as this fake thing, reality TV, and now TikTok as well. They never experience anything for itself, it’s always, how can I use this to get myself on the internet, on people’s phones?
- from the Tampa Bay Times interviewMost of your books have been nonfiction, and your most recent novel for adults, “Insane City,” was published 10 years ago. What moved you to write another novel?
Now, about that gold. Everyone who is aware of it wants it, and that consists of mostly terrible people.
I do mostly nonfiction, but every now and then I switch to fiction. I always have a lot of ideas bouncing around in my head
A while ago I wrote this book, a nonfiction book, called “Best. State. Ever.” To research it I went to all these tourist attractions, but not the big ones, the little roadside attractions. I went to this one, the Skunk Ape museum, and it just sort of stuck in my mind.
I was walking around out in the Everglades with this guy, Dave Shealey. He’s the guy who saw the Skunk Ape and is selling the T-shirts.
I just kept thinking about this whole society existing out in the Everglades with this mythical monster out there. It just kept bouncing around in my mind as something you could write a story about.
- from the Tampa Bay Times interview
Dave Barry weaves all these upstanding individuals together, or maybe just tosses them into a blender. You know they will all come together for a rousing climax. Barry does not disappoint.
Will the Interior Secretary manage a successful launch of the Florida Python Challenge? Hmmm, I wonder. Where will the gold end up? Will Jesse escape with Willa to some sort of sane life? Will Slater become famous for his bod? Will the Bait & Beer make a killing selling tourist crap? Will sundry extreme criminals come to bad ends?
If you are looking for anything serious here, you are in the wrong swamp. If, however, you enjoy laughing until it hurts, this might just be the place for you. I lost count of the “LOL” notes in my Word file.
Slip on your bathing suit, slather on bug repellant, a LOT of bug repellant, take a few steps forward. The swamp water is cool and inviting. But if you see eyes looking back at you from the surface, you might want to step back up onto the the land, waaaay back, and make sure to look up, in case something large and hungry might be about to drop down on you from a Cypress tree.
Whether you take the opportunity to read Swamp Story near a beach, a pool, a comfy chair at home or in your favorite swamp, Dave Barry is one Florida Man you will want to spend some time with this summer.Ken Bortle was standing in the parking lot behind the Gallo Grande, waiting next to an overflowing dumpster baking in the late-afternoon Miami sun, emitting near-visible stench rays.
Review posted - 7/14/23
Publication dates
----------Hardcover – 05/02/23
----------Trade paperback - 05/07/24
I received an ARE of Swamp Story from Simon & Schuster in return for a fair review, and a lead on some prime Florida real estate. Thanks, folks, and thanks to NetGalley for facilitating.
This review will be cross-posted on my site,
Coot’s Reviews, once I make bail. Stop by and say Hi!
=============================EXTRA STUFF
I have been to the Everglades, but not quite the neck of those woods Barry describes. The wild creatures I spotted included gators, but along with that, many less alarming critters. These include a totally adorable Big Cypress Fox Squirrel, anhingas, blue, green, and tricolored herons, (somehow missed the polka-dot variation) pelicans, et al. Did not see any snakes. Of course, this was in 2012, so there may have been a much lesser presence then, Trump was still living on 5th Avenue and DeSantis had yet to be elected. I posted some shots from that trip on
Flickr, if anyone is interested.
Profile - from Simon & Shchuster
Dave Barry is the author of more bestsellers than you can count on two hands, [unless you have very unusual hands] including Lessons from Lucy, Dave Barry’s Complete Guide to Guys, Dave Barry Turns Forty, and Dave Barry Is Not Making This Up. A wildly popular syndicated columnist best known for his booger jokes, Barry won the 1988 Pulitzer Prize for commentary. He lives in Miami.
Links to Barry’s
personal,
FB,
Instagram, and
Twitter pages, and his
blog
His FB page is clearly only lightly maintained
Interviews
-----The Poisoned Pen-
An Interview with Dave Barry by Michael Barson - thin
-----Tampa Bay Times -
Dave Barry talks about his new novel, ‘Swamp Story’ by Colette Bancroft
-----Saturday Evening Post -
3 Questions for Dave Barry by Jeanne Wolf
Items of Interest from the author
-----ScubaBoard.com -
Dave Barry on Diving
-----Wanderings -
Dave Barry Learned All This in 50 Years
Items of Interest
-----
The Florida Python Challenge
-----University of South Florida -
A python invasion has exploded out of the Everglades
-----Bored Panda -
60 Times Florida Man Did Something So Crazy We Had To Read The Headings Twice - Better strap yourself in if you do not want to be rolling on the floor
Songs
----- The Beachboys -
Be True to your School - Chapter 20
-----The Beachboys -
Don’t Worry Baby - great song, but a bit painful to watch – Chapter 20
-----Grease -
Summer Nights - Chapter 46
-----Grease Live -
Look at Me I’m Sandra Dee - Chapter 46 -
“Sometimes insane is the way to go.”
That phrase pretty much sums up this Dave Barry novel. Flat out insane, of the good kind. His forte is developing crazy characters that take stupid to a whole new level. And all I wanted to do is see if they would survive until the end of the story.
The blurb explains the plot better than I could. Suffice it to say, it’s bonkers from the word go, building up until it comes to a wild conclusion. Despite the craziness, I was able to easily envision each scene.
I recommend this for fans of Carl Hiaasen.
Interesting fact - while reading this I just read that pythons are moving north out of the Everglades, already reaching West Palm Beach and Fort Myers. I foresee a sequel!
My thanks to Netgalley and Simon & Schuster for an advance copy of this book. -
Swamp Story by Dave Barry is Complete and Total Insanity! It's Absurd!
This is, after all, Florida.
Swamp Story has a little bit of everything, similar to anyone's cluttered kitchen sink or over-full refrigerator. There's a lot stuff going on here...
A beautiful blonde hiding in the swamp, finds a hidden treasure. The two rednecks she's hiding from find out and a cat and mouse game begins...
A broke, desperate business owner invents the 'Everglades Melon Monster' to lure tourists to his failing business via viral videos. The monster, an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman wearing a 'Dora the Explorer' costume head, is inebriated. Of course, he is, but somehow the plan begins to work...
TikTokers swarm the swamp looking for the monster.
More bad guys invade the swamp looking for the blonde and the hidden treasure.
A Presidential hopeful announces his campaign. Wait, what? In the swamp?
It's absolute pandemonium in the Florida Everglades...
Swamp Story is crazy good fun and a bit over-the-top. No, it's completely out-there and totally bonkers. If you haven't heard of this book before, you're aware of it now. When you're in the mood for a read or listen to block-out the world and take a trip to "Crazy Town" to clear your mind, this is your ticket. It's crazy, weird, Absurdist Fiction and it will feed your soul. When someone says to you "This is, after all, Florida", you'll know exactly what they mean. Enough said.
I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author. He did a spectacular job with the pacing and fair enough with the voicing if you don't mind all the characters sounding the same. Just a small issue, right? It's all part of the lure of the insanity. I truly believe it's because the author couldn't find anyone brave enough to narrate this thing. I do mean that in a nice way. A fair and honest way.
Swamp Story is strictly Humorous Fiction and Comedy. I didn't find even a hint of Mystery or Thriller here and you can call it Crime, if you like, but it's mostly just good old fun. I'll definitely check-out other Dave Barry novels for more insanity, I just don't know how he could possibly top this one. It's an experience I highly recommend!
4⭐ -
4.5 stars. I’d never read Dave Barry’s fiction before, but, as you’d expect from him, this novel is very funny.
Jesse made some errors in judgment and is now stranded, penniless, in a cabin in the Everglades with her hapless but attractive baby daddy Slater and his lecherous friend, Kark. Kark is going to film Slater as Glades Man and then they’ll sell their reality show for a zillion dollars. In another section the Everglades is Ken of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer. Business hasn’t been great, but he comes up with a scheme to explode social media by a citing of the “Everglades Melon Monster,” who is really unemployed alcoholic Phil in a painted Dora the Explorer head. Ken, Kark, Slater, and Phil team up to film a mystery citing of this Melon Monster, and, shockingly, the scheme works. People desperately want Melon Monster merch, and things seem to be looking up . . .
There are good guys and bad guys but mostly borderline idiots whose inane conversations are hilarious. This novel is a lot of fun.
NetGalley provided an advance reader copy of this book, which RELEASES MAY 2, 2023. -
Dave Barry is in top form here, with a story that could only take place in the state of Florida. It's laugh out loud funny and will leave you pondering what the heck is going on down there? Throw in some lost gold, weeded out amateur monster hunters, and mob hitmen and you have all the makings of a screwball comedy. Would definitely recommend!
-
This is a well-written, sometimes silly, often hilarious, very entertaining, humorous fiction novel. It has plenty of action, a touch of suspense, an interesting group of likable characters, and many laugh out loud moments. I listened to the audio version of this novel, and it was a real treat to listen to the author tell his story.
-
3.5 stars
Dave Barry is an American writer and journalist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005 and has written numerous books of humor and satire. This comic novel contains kooky characters and all manner of of mischief, but what do you expect......it's Florida!
*****
Beautiful Jesse Braddock is accustomed to men falling all over her, and usually fends off their overtures with ease.
Unfortunately, Jesse falls for a gorgeous hunk called Michael Slater......
.......who squanders her trust fund and uses her money to buy a dilapidated cabin in the Everglades.
Now Jesse, Slater, and their baby daughter Willa reside in the Everglades cabin with Slater's boorish friend Kark, who's a wannabe filmmaker.
Slater and Kark are pitching a reality show called 'Glades Man', in which (a mostly shirtless) Slater has adventures in the Everglades swamps.
So when Jesse and baby Willa are threatened by a 15-foot-long Burmese python (in real life), Slater brushes off the danger to his family so Kark can film the muscular hunk pointing and saying, 'A deadly predator, fully capable of killing a man and swallowing him whole. It's risk we take every day, living the life of the Glades Guy.' At which point Kark points out the show is called Glades Man. (This is a running gag throughout the book.)
Jesse is already fed up with Slater and this is the final straw. Jesse wants to take her baby and skedaddle, but she has no money.
Serendipitously, Jesse happens upon a cache of gold bars hidden in the Everglades by Confederate soldiers during the Civil War. Jesse takes one gold bar for starters, meaning to consult a lawyer about her rights, etc.
Unluckily, Jesse is seen hiding the gold bar by two camo creeps called Duck and Billy Campbell, who've been searching for the treasure themselves. The Campbells are determined to learn the location of the gold horde, and they decide to stalk Jesse, and if that doesn't work, do worse.
Meanwhile, two siblings called Ken and Brad Bortle.......
.....who own a failing business called Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer, get involved in a money-making scheme.
Ken Bortle enlists a tall hefty former journalist called Phil Teagler to don a giant Dora the Explorer head and pretend to be the Everglades' elusive Melon Monster.
Ken plans to post a video of the Melon Monster online, and to sell Melon Monster merchandise at Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer. Brad Bortle thinks the idea is ridiculous, but goes along for the laughs.
By a confluence of circumstances, other people also get involved in the Melon Monster project, including Phil Teagler's neighbor Stu, and Kark and Slater. The plan is for Kark to video Ken and (a shirtless) Slater when they suddenly see the Melon Monster lurching through the swamp. The startling site causes the men to regroup (flee to) Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer to 'research' the dangerous beast. Kark will doctor the video to look dark and spooky, post it on social media, and use it in the pitch for the Glades Man reality show.
So, theoretically, it's a win-win all around: the Bortle brothers will sell Melon Monster merch, and Slater will get the Glades Man television show. In the end, the Melon Monster video goes viral, and people flock to the swamp to see what's going on.
As all this is occurring, a mobster from Eastern Europe called Kristov Berliuz learns about the stash of gold bars, and dispatches his henchmen to get it.
And it that's not enough, Ken Bortle is in debt to a 430 pound drug kingpin named Pinky, who's chasing Ken for he dough.
Add on a Python Challenge, a faded reporter, a narcissistic U.S. cabinet member who wants to run for President.....
.......along with a swamp dweller called Skeeter Toobs who has an emotional support boar, and you have the elements of a fun comedy.
This is great book if you want a few laughs.
Thanks to Netgalley, Dave Barry, and Simon and Shuster for a copy of the manuscript.
You can follow my reviews at
https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot.com -
Okay, but not too impressive. 3 of 10 stars
-
A laugh out loud thriller that perfectly encapsulates the chaotic nature of Florida. Discussing modern pop culture, the pursuit of fame, and the dire consequences of corruption and greed, Swamp Story is a page turner that is as compelling as it is funny. With wildly eccentric characters animated enough to be real and a nonstop whirlwind of twists and action, this novel is perfect bookclubs, online discourse, and of course, for anyone who finds themselves in Florida.
-
4.5 Stars
’This book is dedicated to the state of Florida,
which has its flaws, but which is never, ever boring.’
Set in southern Florida, written by Dave Barry, you have to know that this will undoubtedly be a story no one else could imagine and bring to life the way that he does.
As this story begins, Jess is living somewhere in the middle of the Everglades, with her infant daughter, Willa, and the baby’s father - who is basically useless as a father, or anything else, really. He’s much more interested in getting stoned with his buddies, and coming up with crazy ideas on how they can make money without spending too much energy doing it. They decide to create some buzz by filming their own movie clips of something they decide to call (depending on which one you ask) ’the glades man.’
Meanwhile, Jess has headed off after she’d yelled to Slater for help as a snake was getting closer, and she didn’t have that many options to choose from since she was holding Willa. Slater comes outside, and then yells to one of his buddies that he needs to get this snake on film, never mind that it’s closing in on the mother of his child and that it is massive in size, and headed right toward them - first he needs to get that snake on film. She���s panicking, and he’s telling her to calm down, and that this will make ‘good footage.’
When all is said and done, she leaves the next morning with Willa, still furious, determined to find a way out of this place, this life.
In her frustration with Slater & Company, Jess ends up wandering around, ultimately sitting to nurse Willa, she notices something glittering, gold. A gold bar, she realizes when she pulls it out of the ground, and seeing more below, she quickly covers it, and takes the one bar.
There’s more to this story, a Bait and Beer shop run by Ken and Brad, who haven’t had any customers in quite a while. Another duo, Stu and Phil, desperate for money who will do pretty much anything, including entertaining at children's birthday parties - where everything goes wrong, but also seems to end in a video that ends up going viral.
Somehow, Slater, Kark, Ken, Brad, Stu and Phil come together with a plan to make a video the ‘mythical’ Everglades Melon Monster, re-designing the giant round head from the birthday party to make this Melon-ish Monster and filming it then putting it out on TikTok. It goes viral, of course, and people begin to flock there to see for themselves.
This is ridiculous - in the best way - at times, funny at times, with a sprinkling of a potential love story, a bit of tension as Jess begins to realize how much more dangerous this has become, and a man planning to run for president is sent there to report on this Melon Monster, who ends up, inadvertently showing his true - and not so likable - character as the area is overflowing with people arriving to see it all for themselves.
Pub Date: 02 May 2023
Many thanks for the ARC provided by Simon & Schuster -
Jesse is living in a small cabin in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her boyfriend, who has turned out to be nothing more than a good-looking parasite. One day she finds some gold bars while walking with the baby, and mistakenly goes to her ex, a Miami lawyer, for advice. She is also seen by a sleazy pair of brothers who want the gold, and what follows is a Hiaasen-esque Florida comedy of errors. If you could use a laugh, and enjoy seeing dirtbags get their just desserts, you will enjoy reading Swamp Story--I certainly did. Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the ARC.
-
First and foremost, for anyone who has never read anything by the author, Dave Berry is freaking hilarious. He has spent a lifetime writing award- winning humor and telling crazy, funny stories. This book is more of the same, something that he does exceptionally well – from the get-go. The book summary pretty much lays out the two storylines in the swamps of the Everglades where gators and python snakes are also on the hunt for their next meal.
What the book summary doesn’t reveal is the burgeoning attraction between Jesse and Ken Bortle’s brother, Brad. Brad and Jesse are the only MC’s who think that the Everglade’s Melon Monster with the Glades Man stunt is the STUPIEST thing that Ken and Slater (Jesse’s useless, narcissistic, pothead, slacker, baby daddy) have ever come up with and gotten themselves involved with. Brad soon becomes committed to helping Jesse and her baby, Willa, get away from Slater.
Most of the story revolves around Jesse figuring out a way to get the stash of gold she literally stumbled over out of the swamps without Duke and Billy (ex-con brothers who are looking for the gold) getting to her first. The Everglade’s Melon Monster storyline is included as more of secondary storyline, one that provides most of the humor in the story because, honestly, this particular storyline is sooo crazy stupid it’s absolutely hilarious. This was another one of those books that I had to go and read out in the living room because my laughing was keeping hubby awake when I read it at night.
There is also another storyline with Phil, the guy who played the role of the Everglade’s Melon Monster, and his attempts at staying connected to his teenage daughter, who he loves and adores, and who lives with his ex-wife, who hates his guts. The only reason Phil, an unemployed journalist, was getting involved with Ken and Slater was because he needed the money to help support his daughter.
It's in the second half of the story that all the different storylines begin to merge including the visit from the Sec of Interiors, who shows up in the Glades to stump for his future presidential run. The culmination of the storylines and the train wreck between the characters makes for a hilarious conclusion to this crazy story.
I want to thank NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for sending me this eARC in exchange for my honest review.
@NetGalley @Simon&Schuster @SwampStory -
I’d never read Dave Barry’s work before this wonderful, rollicking novel. I’ve known he is a humor writer, but after reading this book, I’d say he’s just a damned good writer who not only writes funny, but can weave a story masterfully.
This is not just a funny book about characters in Florida with crazy ideas and schemes, but it is a book about something, and that something happens to be the same something as a book I would shelve it with: Jane Roper’s
The Society of Shame. Very different books, they are both hilarious and together they convey yin-and-yang satires of this crazy internet culture we’re roiling in. -
P.G. Wodehouse meets
Carl Hiaasen, in a good way, mostly...
At his best,
Dave Barry is one of the funniest authors you will ever read. I am a long-time fan, dating from his days as a Miami Herald columnist. (Indeed, I still have a postcard from him certifying my status as an "alert reader, who should seek some sort of help immediately".) I remember lying on the floor, literally gasping in pain because I was laughing so hard at one of his books (
Dave Barry Turns Forty).
Swamp Story was funny, but it did not have me rolling on the floor laughing. I venture to predict that you, too, will be able to remain upright in your seat while reading it. It's a perfectly serviceable Florida Farce, in which a bunch of recognizable Florida types become tangled in a complicated imbroglio, in which many recognizably funny things happen. Many of these things actually made me laugh, too! So, it's LOL funny, but not ROFL funny.
The master of the Florida Farce is of course
Carl Hiaasen.
Swamp Story feels very much like a
Hiaasen novel. That is a compliment. I'm a
Hiaasen fan. I think the world would be a better place if
Carl Hiaasen could be cloned. Two of him would not be too many. But, on the other hand, I feel the world is a richer place with both
Carl Hiaasen and
Dave Barry in it than it would be with two copies of
Carl Hiaasen and no
Dave Barry. Thus I am not overjoyed at the prospect of
Dave Barry turning into
Carl Hiaasen.
Swamp Story is not indistinguishable from a
Hiaasen novel. It has all-too-rare moments of character idiosyncrasy that remind me not only of
Dave Barry, but also of
P.G. Wodehouse.
Now, let us be clear --if the worst one can say about a novel is "It is not better than
P.G. Wodehouse and
Carl Hiaasen," -- well, that's a pretty damn good novel. I'm being hard on
Swamp Story because I think
Barry can do better.
I thank Edelweiss and Simon and Schuster for an advance reader copy of
Swamp Story. This review expresses my honest opinions.
Blog review. -
Rating 4.66
Dave Barry holds the Pulitzer for outlandish plots filled with moronic characters and this one is no exception!
Phil, an unemployed alcoholic newspaper journalist and in need of money agrees to wear a Dora the Explorer costume as the special guest at a little girl's birthday party. No sooner does he show up then he insults the father and is attacked with a golf club by the birthday girl. A guest captures the attack on video which immediately goes viral on TikTok. Phil escapes to the Everglades to join his friend Ken Bortle of the Bortle Brothers Beer & Bait shop in an effort to hide from the angered father.
Meanwhile Slater, a failed reality show star, his video man Kark, along with his sexy girlfriend Jesse with her 6 month old child, Willa are in the process of shooting a new reality show idea called "The Glades Man". Trudging through the swamp to shoot the pilot, Jesse wanders off with Willa and gets stuck in the muck. While freeing herself she stumbles across a stash of Civil War era gold which she views as an opportunity of a lifetime but has no idea how to cope with it. Snatching a bar, she returns to the cabin and contemplates her next move, keeping the gold secret from her narcissistic boyfriend.
Meanwhile Ken Bortle gets an idea to drive business to the bait shop using the Dora the Explorer head to mimic the Melon Monster from Ohio. As luck would have it they happen to see the reality show crew and propose a joint venture doomed to fail. In need of money, Phil agrees to wear the head but being an alcoholic doesn't help things. In need of legal advice for her discovery, Jesse contacts Erik, a slime ball Miami attorney and ex-boyfriend for advice and he spots an 'golden opportunity' to eliminate his gambling debt with the Russian mafia.
Adding a dash of politics to 'the mess', we find the Secretary of the Interior convinced by his advisers to make an appearance at the annual Python Festival in the Everglades where he will meet the Skeeter, a red neck who won the competition last year. Skeeter arrives in an air boat along with his pet feral hog and a python stashed in a burlap bag.
You don't need to be a rocket scientist to figure out where this is going. While intertwining plots are the norm, Barry takes it to another level if you can call it that, LOL. Toward the end the spotting of an owl launches Ken and Slater into a debate about radar vs sonar. Phil, being an authority on nothing, gets involved and the outcome had me in tears of laughter.
Having loved the mayhem of
Insane City this is as good or better. Take a break from the romance and mystery and immerse yourselves into Dave Barry's wacky mind. You will NOT be disappointed! -
In this imaginative, funny story, filled with bumbling characters, who all accidentally collide with each other Barry shows he has certainly not lost his touch on the crazy! With good versus evil and not very smart versus wise, his characters morph into different personalities with a feel-good ending.
Jesse Braddock has lost everything to her boyfriend Slater. She’s embarrassed at how he was able to smooth talk her into her money and quitting her job. Now, her parents will not speak to her, she has an infant daughter and is living in a dilapidated cabin in the Everglades no less. All she can think of is how to get away from this situation.
Ken Bortle and his brother Brad of Bortle Brothers Bait & Beer have a once thriving shop. Now they barely get any tourists who are visiting the Everglades. Ken knows if something doesn’t happen quickly they will lose everything.
Phil is a down on his luck guy who left his wife and daughter when he found out his wife had cancer. He can barely make ends meet. He has no job and basically drinks Moscow Mules for a living. So, when a friend of his offers him a job to put a Dora the Explorer costume on for a child’s birthday party for some cash, he says ok. But unfortunately, things go very wrong at the party and Phil is humiliated.
Even more embarrassing, someone took a video of the incident and posted it online which then got reposted to Tik Tok which then made Phil a mortifying celebrity. Not exactly what he wanted!
Enter Ken Bortle who sees the video and gets this terrific idea on how they can drum up business for their store. They can use someone dressed as a monster and post the video and everyone will flock to the business. They can sell t-shirts and other products. And just like that Ken accidentally finds Phil drinking in a bar and strikes up a deal. Now all they have to do is find people to film the video.
In the meantime, Jesse is spending all her time with her daughter and taking care of her alone. Slater is off doing some video. As she takes a walk around the swamp, she sees something gold and shiny in the mud. She pulls it out and lo and behold it is a gold bar. She digs further and finds more, much more! This is her way out. Now all she has to do is make sure she can keep the gold and that her boyfriend never finds out!
But unbeknownst to Jesse, two men did see her. Duck and Billy Campbell. They knew the history of the missing gold bars, folklore, but now they know it was really true. They need this woman to lead them to the motherload! And then get rid of her.
As Jesse turns to a former boyfriend/lawyer for help, the Bortle brothers succeed in making the monster video and everything seems to be going just fine. Until it begins not to. And that’s when all these worlds begin to collide in an incredibly hysterical ending in which a fight between good versus evil begins and then ends.
Swamp Story is the tale of misfits, who find each other and through a lot of accidents find their way to who they really were meant to be and somehow become the luckiest people on earth!
Thank you #NetGalley #Simon&Schuster #DaveBarry #SwampStory for the advanced copy. -
I don’t actually know how I’ll review this one, because this book is actually over-the-top ridiculous, bonkers, and fun; but ultimately wasn’t for me. SWAMP STORY involves a group of people living in Florida trying to create their own reality tv show in the Everglades while approaching the wildlife living within the national park. When one of the wannabe reality stars, Michael Slater (Slater) and his partner Jesse team up, Jesse quickly realizes the man she fell for isn’t who she thought he was. Slater is financially draining her and taking money away from her trust that she was saving for their child Willa. Slater teams up with his friend Kark and the group uses Jesse’s money to buy a cabin in the Everglades to start filming. When the group stumbles across treasure, they are excited but then realize that there could be a bounty set upon them. In the mean time, we also have an “Everglades Melon Monster”, Dora the Explorer, a man dressed in an Elsa costume, and the varying degrees of white trash and wealthy setting the stage for the main character of the book, FLORIDA.
This book was fun but really all over the place at the same time. I think readers who enjoy satire and comedy will love this most. I am giving this book a down-the-middle rating because I had fun with it and it served its purpose, but I don’t know if it was a story I actually felt immersed into. Honestly don’t even listen to me because I still don’t actually know what I read and am trying to wrap my head around it all. If you need a fun and satirical read, this is your book! -
Jesse Braddock is living in a cabin in the Everglades with her infant daughter, a no good boyfriend and his friend. The boyfriend wants to be a realty show star as “Glades Man” who likes to take off his shirt to show off his physique. When she stumbles across long lost treasure of gold bars from the Civil War, she places herself in danger as there are two disreputable characters also seeking it.
Meanwhile, down and out Phil, a disgraced journalist, is enlisted to make a video about Melon Monster who had emigrated down from the midwest. This is the brainchild of one of the Bortle brothers, owners of the equally down and out Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer store on Tamiami Trail. Sure enough, the video goes viral.
Then there is the narcissistic man who wants to be president, the slimy Miami lawyer, the gator, the urinating boar, the python….well, you get the idea. Yes, it is insane, but, after all, it is Floriduh (write I, a Floridian).
This is suspenseful, humorous, not too much over the top read if you understand Florida, very entertaining, along with a good spoof of social media.
A lot of the characters and activities here represent the true south Florida…only maybe a little bit more so. And, by the way, there really is a Skunk Ape Research Headquarters on Tamiami Trail with a stature of the legendary creature out front.
Thanks to #netgalley and #simon&Schuster for the ARC. -
WTF - Welcome To Florida. This is one of those sprawling South Florida/ Everglades "Florida Man" stories that are so extremely entertaining even in the real life versions, and here comedic story master Dave Barry pulls no punches. Similar in tone and style to Jimmy Buffet's A Salty Piece Of Land, there *is* some social/ societal commentary here - but it is buried in a tale that is so "unrealistically real" (as another reviewer noted) that it is one of those "jokes with a point" that are freaking hilarious - yet also perhaps a touch too real. Specifically, much of the commentary in this particular tale revolves around social media and "fame"/ "celebrity", and Barry's observations here - baked into the overall narrative of the tale - are quite biting. And yet... the over the top insanity humor is never far away, and is ultimately the driving force of the tale. If you've been experiencing too much seriousness in your "real" life or in your reading and you need a break from all the death, drama, and destruction... this is the perfect getaway, no matter where you may physically be or what time of year it may be where you are. Very much recommended.
-
Sometimes, honey, you just gotta laugh!
I'm not quite sure why I'm even adding a review of Dave Barry's Swamp Story, because the book already has nearly 10,000 ratings between Goodreads and Amazon—and the consensus is that this is One Funny Novel. However—I'm working on my personal goal of 104 books reviewed in 2024—and I do, indeed, love this novel. And, frankly, this review will explain to some relatives why I was laughing so loudly a week or so ago.
But, please, you gotta understand a bit of the newspaper-industry background here: I discovered Dave and his buddy Carl Hiaasen way back decades ago when we all were working for what was then Knight-Ridder. Carl had not yet published the hilariously groundbreaking Tourist Season (1986) and Dave was just a gosh-darned funny columnist in Miami whose columns had not yet become a national sensation. A couple of times way back then, we bumped into each other as distant colleagues used to do back in the heyday of big-city and big-wire-service newspapering.
What truly made Barry a hero among his journalistic colleagues was a widely circulated humor column he wrote in 1989 when David Lawrence went South to run The Miami Herald. He skewered Lawrence like shrimp on a barbecue. Half of us couldn't stop laughing; and half of us wondered if Lawrence would figure out a way to fire him for the irreverent roast. Lawrence was not known for his sense of humor. And, then, there's a bunch of newspaper-insider "back story" over the decades. And it's that stuff not worth mentioning that made my wife insist that I include in this review that she personally can't stand Dave because of something he did in his personal life decades ago. So, dear wife, I've now done that.
But frankly, in my view, I've gotta admit: There simply are no two writers who can make me laugh–and I'm talking serious out-loud guffaws—like Dave and Carl. So, I bought Swamp Story last year, when it came out, then I hid it—seriously, I hid it—and I saved it for a family vacation to thoroughly get into a joyous mood while out of town with family.
My relatives did ask a few times why I would suddenly bust out laughing. Given that my wife forbids me to read Dave's books—because of that old grudge—I had hidden the dust cover to make it less obvious—and I couldn't admit exactly what I was reading.
But boy oh boy did I enjoy this slapstick tale of Florida schemers and dreamers and swampy hijinks! And eventually my wife found out that I read it.
Now, to be honest, if this novel gets made into a movie, I don't think I'll enjoy it. First, my wife won't consider going because—you know—it's a Dave Barry story and all. And, second, Dave's (and Carl's) slapstick works in print on a paper page because you internalize the words as you're reading in a way that, at least for me, just looks sillier on the silver screen.
But who knows? Maybe a great movie will be made of Swamp Story. And, maybe we can go see the movie someday. I mean, after all, my wife's gotta get over that grudge someday.
But, honey, did I make it clear enough? For now, you hate Dave Barry.
I can only hope for a softer heart in the future.
And always: I love you, dear! -
I've been a longtime fan of Dave Barry and his quirky sense of humor. That being said, "Swamp Story" fell flat for me. It lacked the sharpness that has long put Barry at the end of the line for authors with a quick wit. Tipping my margarita glass in hopes the next novel will be more Barry-esque.
ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for my opinion. -
Maybe my humor doesn't match the other readers', but I didn't not find this book "funny." Yeah, had some cute one-liners, but nothing that made me laugh out loud. I thought the storyline was a touch boring, and predictable. Things lined up too much. I personally wouldn't recommed.
-
This was as silly and chaotic and outrageous as I thought it would be. It's full of unlikeable characters doing completely ridiculous things - and yet it was light and funny and the perfect summer read. It was a quick read, as I was completely sucked in. What would Jesse do with what she'd found? How would she get out of the swamp? How does the snake catching event coincide with the other events and how on earth will this all end? For that, I did enjoy the wrap up. It had the perfectly unrealistic and silly ending that felt the the perfect conclusion.
-
3.5
-
Think of the beginning of any joke: “Why’d the chicken cross the road,” “Guy walks into a bar,” “Fifty-year-old dad designs a blog.” In this new release, the master of humor Dave Barry drops the same punchline every time: “It’s Florida.”
Deep in the Everglades, a bunch of drunk, stoned morons film an idiotic video of a fake legend…and it goes viral. A woman on the edge of her rope, once attached to one of those losers, stumbles upon a lost treasure, but she’s watched by a couple of wild ex-cons. And in between are reporters, snake hunters, cabinet members, harried staffers, gangsters, and the scariest creatures the Sunshine State has to offer…lawyers.
And gators, of course. But you decide who’s scarier.
I know some people who look down on me for reading this stuff. It’s not 700 pages, it doesn’t have rich guys contemplating their boredom, it doesn’t describe a bowl of fruit using a ballet metaphor, and it won’t take you four or five times to read one paragraph. Insult your intelligence, it won’t.
But darn it: it’s good fun done right. Like a tasty milkshake.
It’s a plot-driven piece, and it moves like a Maserati down I-95 at 3 AM. There’s action on every page. There’s someone being chased, someone losing a fortune, someone with a Dora the Explorer character head being chased through the swamp. The caper to create a Bigfoot-like legend is very clever, well-thought-out, and even credible. You won’t need to suspend belief that long to see how the whole thing spins out of control. And the situation with Jesse, the beautiful woman and her baby escaping the “camo creeps,” was nerve-wracking. I was rooting for her to be OK, to maybe walk away with the fortune.
The brilliance comes as Barry deftly develops each character with flare, and depth. It doesn’t take page after page of introspection, but you get bang for your buck. I felt for Jesse and for Phil, especially as a dad trying to do the right thing. The bad guys were complex and detailed, and not
overdone.
The last third is fast, furious, and unpredictable. It’s a wild, wild finish, and you’ll be done before you know it.
And, of course, it’s FUNNY! Tons of “laugh out loud” moments, much of it from the characters’ mouths themselves. He paints Florida as the nutty place it’s been since the Elian Gonzalez affair, allowing every crazy thing to happen except maybe hanging chads. His worldview creeps in from time to time, and I love hearing him describe the bad guys with Hall-of-Fame-worthy snark. Compared to him, my snark looks pedestrian…
You’ll gobble this up like an alligator on a plate of Miami blackened halibut. Get it before it slithers away!
-
Irreverent and ridiculous, but a fun beach read.
-
I’ve been a fan of Dave Barry's for decades and found his newspaper columns to be entertaining and clever. He often demonstrated an uncanny ability to spot the irony, humor, and satire most of us walk by everyday without noticing. As for SWAMP STORY, I guess every good writer is entitled to a clunker. For me, it simply wasn't that funny.
I suppose I could praise Barry's ability to translate the slapstick comedy of a keystone cops silent movie into a novel. But if I try to come up with my own best one-word descriptors for this book.... on the positive end, silly - and on the negative end, dumb.
The setting is Florida, which, according to Barry (and he lives there), is a one-of-a-kind place where anything strange can and does happen. So I guess as a non-Floridian, it is entirely possible that residents of that state will find this book a deeply insightful treatise and I’m just not knowledgeable enough to recognize its intellectual depth.)
The story offers a bit of everything in the way of plot. Alligators and snakes. A bit of romance. An infant in danger. Amateur movie-making. Long buried treasure. Incompetent crooks and muscle men. Even a few chase scenes through the swamps of the Everglades.
Barry pokes fun at everyone and everything. Our relentless passion for striking it rich. The vanity of beautiful people. The duplicity of attorneys and grandstanding of politicians. The meaningless of assignments covered by news reporters. TV shows about people roughing it in the wilderness. And the power and ridiculousness of social media where the most random events go viral - for no apparent reason other than the gullibility and/or stupidity of us humans.
Clearly, this book was not for me. But, while I can’t exactly recommend the book, it’s lightweight and easy to read. And YOU might be entertained by what amounts to a wild romp with characters you may well recognize from your own life. -
This book was WILD. But so Florida 😂.
Every character in this book is so over the top, and that’s what makes it funny. Like every chapter I was like, this can’t be serious 😂, and the story had this huge buildup and the end was pure chaos, and it was a delight.
The whole time I was cheering for my girl Jesse, because I wanted her and Willa to get away from the NONSENSE that was her life. She got herself into some intense situations and that leads me to the star of the story and that is WILLA 😂😂😂 infant baby Willa, the real MVP.
This baby is going everywhere in a carrier and a car seat and all this nonsense is happening around her and she’s taking it all like a champ 😂. I am #teamevergladesbaby.
This novel was a fun read, super quick, some laugh out loud funny moments, and some moments where you’re like staaaahhhhppp no way 😱. Sometimes I felt like maybe the characters were TOO over the top and maybe the story was TOO ridiculous, but I believe that was the intent of the author, so I think it’s fine. If you’re a Floridian, and even if you’re not, I think you’ll find this novel is a fun time 😎☀️.
This book is out May 2!
✨I did want to note there was some language that popped up in one of the later chapters, once by the politician and another one by the character Phil, I believe, and I feel like it was unnecessary and could have been removed. The characters all swear and that’s whatever, but some of the word choices used by the characters in that section pulled me out of the story and I wasn’t super thrilled with the word choice. I think the actions of the politician were enough to show he was an asshole, and the line from Phil could have been completely removed and it wouldn’t have impacted the novel. -
I read this book last summer and still think about it weekly. The hilarity of this book is off the charts. Like literally off the rails. Think about all of the stereotypical things about Florida and put them in a book. That is Swamp Story. It has your gators, suspicious drug deals, influencers attempting to go viral, and a brewery. And don't forget about the presidential nominee trying to gain supporters. Dave Barry writes from the heart in Swamp Story. After all, he does live in Florida.
This was one of my favorite books from 2023. If you are looking for something a little crazy, read this one.
Content warnings: misogyny, sexual harassment, alcoholism, gun violence, animal death, drug use -
Of course 5 starts because: I ❤️ Dave Barry.
I don't think this is for everyone. You have to appreciate Florida sense of humor and insane plot lines (which actually go hand in hand when writing about how crazy Florida can be). But I loved the characters, the descriptions, the wildlife (both human and animal) and just put me in a happy place.
