| Title | : | Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1400335817 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781400335817 |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 240 |
| Publication | : | First published January 31, 2023 |
Jinger Vuolo, the sixth child in the famous Duggar family of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, recounts how she began to question the unhealthy ideology of her youth and learned to embrace true freedom in Christ.
When Jinger Duggar Vuolo was growing up, she was convinced that obeying the rules was the key to success and God's favor. She zealously promoted the Basic Life Principles of Bill Gothard,
fastidiously obeying the modesty guidelines (no shorts or jeans, only dresses),
eagerly submitting to the umbrella of authority (any disobedience of parents would place her outside God's protection),
promoting the relationship standard of courtship, and
avoiding any music with a worldly beat, among others.
Jinger, along with three of her sisters, wrote a New York Times bestseller about their religious convictions. She believed this level of commitment would guarantee God's blessing, even though in private she felt constant fear that she wasn't measuring up to the high standards demanded of her.
In Becoming Free Indeed, Jinger shares how in her early twenties, a new family member—a brother-in-law who didn't grow up in the same tight-knit conservative circle as Jinger—caused her to examine her beliefs. He was committed to the Bible, but he didn't believe many of the things Jinger had always assumed were true. His influence, along with the help of a pastor named Jeremy Vuolo, caused Jinger to see that her life was built on rules, not God's Word.
Jinger committed to studying the Bible—truly understanding it—for the first time. What resulted was an earth-shaking realization: much of what she'd always believed about God, obedience to His Word, and personal holiness wasn't in-line with what the Bible teaches.
Now with a renewed faith of personal conviction, Becoming Free Indeed shares what it was like living under the tenants of Bill Gothard, the Biblical truth that changed her perspective, and how she disentangled her faith with her belief in Jesus intact.
Becoming Free Indeed: My Story of Disentangling Faith from Fear Reviews
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My review might be different than that of those who picked up this book because they are fans of the Duggars' reality show. I did watch the show pretty frequently, but even so, I did not know what exactly the Duggars believed or whose teaching they were following. I should have, though, because I have seen the effects of Bill Gothard's teaching up close.
A little background will help you understand why I gave this book 5 stars.
I grew up in a church where a section of the membership bought into Bill Gothard's Institutes and lived them out. My mom says that his first institute of teachings didn't seem "too" out there, but the second institute was just bizarre. My parents found Gothard's teachings to be unbiblical and so did not raise us kids under those strict guidelines. Another red flag was that when the church viewed his videos, he had employees from IBLP set up tables with only Gothard's materials for purchase, and no one else's. That smacked of cultism to them.
Even though our pastor did not preach Gothard's principles, he did allow them to be taught in different settings and there were many families that put them to practice. You could pick them out: very large households, homeschooled, girls in long dresses with long hair (some wore makeup, some didn't, depending on the family), the children didn't attend college. The families avoided routine medical checkups and vaccinations. Now, these things don't in and of themselves make one a believer of false teaching. (You can hold some personal convictions about these things and still be a faithful Christian as long as you are not holding them as a standard for salvation.) But because these principles were spouted as the "right" way to live as Christians to secure a guarantee that your children wouldn't rebel and that you'd have health and financial security—that was supremely problematic.
My parents didn't believe this and didn't teach it. My pastor didn't preach these from the pulpit to the best I can remember (though I could be wrong). There were families like ours in the church that didn't believe it or teach it. But there were many who did. I felt accusation and judgment from those families and their children. I felt like a second rate Christian. Simply attending a church where Gothardism was practiced by those families still had a damaging effect on my young faith. I struggled into my late thirties to shed the idea of performance as a means of gaining God's approval when I already have it in full in Jesus Christ. I didn't wear long skirts and I cut my hair regularly and I wasn't homeschooled. But as a young Christian, I tried so hard to be good in order to achieve the same kind of elite level Christianity that I perceived these Gothardites had. I did not understand that we obey God's Word (and only God's Word, not manmade additions to God's commands) from a position of ALREADY LOVED. I obeyed to BE loved. Because that is what I learned in a church culture of doing specific things and avoiding certain "vices" in order to guarantee God's favor. What I perceived from the ages of 6-15: you believed in Jesus by faith, but you were sanctified by being moral and upstanding.
That is the anti-gospel. It's legalism at its worst. And even though I learned it secondhand, it still did decades of damage to my faith. I didn't realize that you live the your entire Christian life by grace through faith in Jesus.
What did help me untangle my faith from fear was the same as what did this for Jinger Vuolo. It was Scripture. Studying God's Word and especially committing it to memory (not because someone made me but because I wanted to) helped me to meditate on it deeply and understand that God's love isn't based upon our performance, our adherence to rules we believe will make us holier than others, and it doesn't ebb and flow with how well I think I am performing. God's love is pure and holy and free. And I have it completely through faith in Jesus Christ. Nothing—not pants or haircuts or attending school—can separate me from His love in Christ.
And now for the actual book review.
What I appreciated so much about Jinger's book was that she was committed to telling her story without throwing her parents or family under the bus. That's a tough balance to strike. She is humble and transparent, but she owns that she believed a lie. I also appreciated that she wasn't squeamish about calling Bill Gothard a false teacher—because he is. And many, many people have been led astray by his false teaching. She shows how the tenants of his teaching are at complete odds with Scripture and she saturates this book in the true gospel of Jesus. No doubt, fans of the show will be disappointed that this isn't a tell-all. Jinger is clear in the introduction that that's not what her book is. I saw some reviews complaining that this book is just a sermon. It's not. It's a beautiful explanation of what is and isn't the good news of Jesus and how she grew to understand the difference. I applaud Jinger for using her platform in such a way. I listened to this book on audio, and I found it easy to follow as well as compelling. I rejoiced to hear her explain the gospel so clearly and so often.
If you were taught Bill Gothard's principles or absorbed them in a church community like I did, or if you were raised in some kind of Christian subculture that taught something other than the pure gospel of grace alone by faith alone in Christ alone, then you'll find this book helpful to separate fact from fiction. I commend it for that reason.
What happened to my family? Eventually, my parents left that church. There was a lot of conflict in other areas, but I asked my mom the other day why they really left. She said, "We left because of Gothardism. We did not want to raise our kids in that environment anymore." We found another church where we thrived in grace and freedom. I asked my mom if any of those families we attended church with during those 10 years still adhered to Gothard's teachings, especially in light of the allegations of sexual abuse and grooming against him. She said she didn't think so because when all the children raised in Gothardism in our church hit their teen years, they all rebelled. The principles didn't work. They never could have. Rules without relationship will never do anything for a person's soul. Only the gospel transforms. Only the Spirit shapes and forms and sanctifies. Only God's Word—not man's—is truth. -
Not that I was expecting a tell-all but I was expecting more introspection on how the Gothard beliefs effected her family, etc. This read more like a college essay trying to prove her Christianity more than anything. Clearly wasn’t the intended audience.
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edited after finishing 03/06: I understand a lot of where Jinger is coming from, though a lot of it comes across as hypocritical when she is still involved in a church that support one man over God, as well as her various thoughts on the LGBT community while she preaches about loving everyone.
while i still don’t support the Vuolo’s homophobic beliefs i’m afraid i must read this -
When I saw that Jinger Duggar published a book yesterday about her journey in disentangling herself from the “religion” she was raised in, I knew I had to dive in! Now if you’re a fan of the Duggars show, then this might interest you, but if you’re like me and have lived through some of this in your own life then you will definitely like it. I feel like most of my church experience was borderline if not all the way cultish and I have heard Bill Gothard’s name and books passed around more than I’d care to admit. Religion sickens me to my core and there is a big difference in loving Jesus and Christianity vs this toxic “church culture” I’m talking about. I devoured this book in a day and I applaud Jinger for being brave and getting her story out there. I’m so glad that she has separated this from her life and has found true freedom in Christ. It’s not about what we wear, eat, drink or any outward thing..it’s about the heart and how we honor Christ by being like Him. If we give everything truly to Him, he’ll take care of anything outwardly that we might need to change. One thing I will say though is that where many cross the line is putting THEIR expectations on others. Everyone will have to answer for themselves one day. Don’t worry about the person next to you, just love them.
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Let me start with saying, I grew up in IBLP as well. I am a year younger than Jinger and interacted with her siblings at Big Sandy in Texas multiple times. My last family conference was spring 2014, where I taught pre-excel to some of the Bates kids. So yes, I often I say I grew up in the same community as the Duggars, because IBLP was a tight-knit world and we all knew of each other.
That said, Jinger's novel reads like shortbread with a little bit of drizzle. There's no deep exploration of how IBLP used her family nor how IBLP protected her brother's abuse and dad's control.
The good:
Jinger does a fantastic job of showing exactly how Bill Gothard exercised control over the IBLP community. She recalls the "Gothard's girls" and the rumors of abuse that swept through IBLP circles.
She sidesteps really delving into the true horrors of Gothard's abuse, as a story too graphic or details too hard to reshare.
It takes a lot of courage to call out a man who was both your childhood hero and who dominated your religious life. This is a good start to publicly calling out an abusive leader who ruined many, many lives.
The not-so-good:
Jinger stands by her family. This is evident throughout the book. She blames Gothard for the abusive teaching she grew up under and avoids blaming her parents for the toxic way she was raised.
She does not discuss her lack of education, the way her life was exploited, or the abuse her parents covered up. Jinger avoids directly naming the abuse her brother did, calling the time when it was made public, "the darkest trial" her family went through.
The downright bad:
Jinger paints herself as the good opposite of religious deconstruction. She calls her journey away from IBLP "detangling" and considers it a better version of deconstruction.
It is clear that Jinger has no real grasp of the deconstruction movement or the real reasons people left IBLP and Christianity.
She refers to Josh Harris as the leader of the deconstruction movement, even though he declared his lack of faith years after Recovering Grace and exvangelical communities had formed.
Frankly, Jinger's one-size fits all approach to deconstruction and faith is insulting. Some go so far as to say that Jinger has left one cult for another since she joined John MacArthur church.
I do not consider all churches to be cults. I strongly disagree with John MacArthur and Jinger's picture of the exvangelical community. I know that Jinger's views on the LGBTQ+ community and other non-evangelical people of faith are harmful.
However, I also understand how hard it is to accept an affirming faith or navigate a more accepting world after leaving IBLP. I joined a church very similar to MacArthur's when I left IBLP and believed as Jinger now does for a long time. No person harmed by Jinger's beliefs owes her grace, compassion or space to harm them. I offer that compassion in hopes that people like Jinger will one day see my own faith, my own life, and understand that God made me exactly as I am - and my faith and sexuality are not fallen or in need of redemption.
Jinger Duggar Vuolo's book is not for the snark community. It is not a tell-all memoir or an expose. It is the story of a girl still coping with trauma from years spent in the grips of IBLP, a daughter who still deeply loves her family despite public abuse, and a woman who finally feels free from the shadow of fundamentalism. -
Written with such faith and grace. You will get a look into Jinger's life now that she has an understanding of the Bible and true love for Jesus. This was in no way a bash your religion book. It was how she came to an understanding that she Jinger had a lot wrong and as a young woman with her husband by her side with their Bibles she had a real come to Jesus moment.
I HIGHLY recommend this 5-star book. It is life changing and you are going to want to share it with those who really need to read it.
The Mary Reader received this book from the publisher for review. A favorable review was not required, and all views expressed are our own. -
Although aware of their existence, I've never seen a single episode of any of the television shows featuring the Duggar family, so went into this book with no expectations. I was pleasantly surprised by its content, and even more so with the courage it took Vuolo to publish her story. In the midst of so many high-profile Christians choosing to "deconstruct" their faith, essentially abandoning anything that makes Christianity, well Christianity, Vuolo instead chose to disentangle. "My faith is still intact, but it has changed. Instead of leaving the faith entirely, I have unthreaded, or disentangled, the truth of Christianity from the unhealthy version I heard growing up."
Vuolo tackles the false teachings she was raised on, led by Bill Gothard of the IBLP (Institute in Basic Life Principles). I was very impressed in how she laid out the things she was taught, countering with what the Bible actually says. The goal of this book was to reach those who are still falling prey to false teachings and cults, although this word was never used, and the grace in which it was written follows that aim. I enjoyed reading about legalism and eisegesis from someone who was raised to believe these harmful concepts were truth. I also appreciated how Vuolo never faults her parents and is gracious with both them and her entire family. I did find it interesting that it seems the Duggar family was aware of what true salvation in Christ entails and taught this to their children, yet still were blind to the manipulation and cherry-picking of Scripture to lead their family.
Overall, I'm left not only impressed by Vuolo and prayerful that this book reaches those still enmeshed in cult-like groups, but also with more of a desire to encourage people to read the Word of God. It is only through a knowledge of Scripture that false teachers can be discerned, a point that is made numerous times within this book. If you're curious at all, I recommend reading this one! -
This really just reads like a promotion for Masters Seminary and Grace Community Church, but using Bill Gothard's teachings as an easy punching bag, given the widespread criticism of his theology.
She gushes about how she loves her new church because of its diversity and because everyone can believe different things "as long as they agree with the Bible." John MacArthur's theology and church are known for having a very narrow definition of what they read to be "biblical." I don't know how free Jinger can really be. She might not be wearing long skirts anymore, but she still goes to a church that doesn't permit women to preach. She can use birth control since science shows it's safe and effective, but her church gleefully defied COVID-19 restrictions by the city and risked the health of thousands.
Much of the book, which is co authored by the communications director of Masters, feels just like a copy and paste from the What We Believe part of their website. There's just walls of texts of endless scripture references that don't help explain the transformation she's gone through. Nobody is reading this book because they want a doctrinal opposition to Gothard's teachings. We want to know how this shift affected Jinger.
But instead we get vague narratives about being focused on others instead of yourself and how that helps social anxiety, or how it's about Christ and not rules. But no specifics on what it means to change your focus or how it's really changed her life. She mentions briefly that she may have struggled with post-partum depression. It would have been so much more interesting to have a whole chapter on her journey with that and how her new way of looking at her faith made a difference. Instead we get a reference to Christ being sufficient and we move on.
I just don't think this book is going to do it for anyone who is looking for something other than a John MacArthur promotion. If you're on board with that train and want to hear a vague description of how someone changed their belief system to that this might be for you. For anyone looking for actual radical change or a new analysis of Gothard theology, this will leave you dissatisfied. -
Highly recommend. More so if you've ever been involved in IBLP (ATI) or know of someone who has.
What I most appreciated about this read from Jinger is that she combats Gothard's false teachings with scripture in an unapologetic manner, while at the same time demonstrating grace and love, particularly towards her family. This leaves the door open for relationships. This book is an excellent example of how to speak truth in love, without dabbling into the realm of a Tell All. Prince Harry could take a note or two from her tone.
I really, really appreciated this book. I was never in ATI/IBPL myself, but my husband and his family were back in the day. I thought I understood what that meant before, but there are many ways in which this book opened my eyes to Gothard's teachings and the disastrous effects they can have had. -
Was not a fan of this one. Jinger was my fav Duggar and I was really hoping this book would be more personal stories but it very much focused on her life tangled up with a culty Christian leader and the way she slowly awakened to his falseness. She still very much believes in Christ, evidenced throughout the book with the MANY Bible passages. She only briefly touches on her life as a Duggar or her marriage or motherhood. She also very briefly talks about struggling with social anxiety. Overall pretty disappointing as a 'tell-all' memoir. It felt much more like a money grab/endorsement of Christianity. Much thanks to @librofm for an ALC - I'm glad I didn't waste any of my own money on this book.
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As someone who watched 19 kids and counting I wanted to read Jingers book. This is not a tell all book about her family. This is her way of outing Bill Gothard. She has held so much in for so long. Her parents have aloud her to feel so bad about herself for years. I hope this book helps other Christians who also followed or are following B.Gothard and in hopes they find their own way. He is truly an awful human being.
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This is not a tell-all in the traditional sense, so anyone looking for Duggar snark will be disappointed. Instead this is a beautiful story of Jinger’s growth as a person. She is very vulnerable as she shares her personal and faith journey. It’s all about how she kept her faith while escaping the IBLP cult and it’s fascinating. She’s also very classy, even as she unapologetically tells of the awful things that happened in that community. All in all an informative, interesting, and compelling memoir!
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When I saw that Jinger was coming out with a book about not being in the IBLP anymore, I cried. Seeing one of the big names from the Christian fundamentalist world speak out made me hope that we’d get more voices speaking against this evil.
This book, however, fell short of that goal for me. Part memoir, part advice, and part wanna be theology, it definitely falls short on the latter two. While I respect Vuolo going on the faith journey that she needs to, the regular decrying of deconstruction, the “unless you have a Jesus you’re wrong,” and other such phrases fail to give grace and take into account the depth of the hurt experienced by people, especially women, in these movements. She repeatedly tells readers they shouldn’t deconstruct, but detangle their beliefs, not acknowledging trauma or other reasons someone may not be able, or want, to continue engaging with a Christianity. She clearly delineates a before and after in her life, as in before she knew the real Jesus and after, but doesn’t seem to give herself the space to drastically change in the future.
While she touches on mental health issues, but only social anxiety, she explains it as just not trusting Jesus enough. Which just, is sad. Mental health issues can encompass so so much and I wish Vuolo would have acknowledged this.
I wasn’t expecting (or desiring) this to be a theological treatise, but early on the author refers to this book as her theological journey. Something she (rightly) calls IBLP out on is proof texting, or only using a verse or two without context to prove a point. However, she continues to reference a verse or two here or there, falling into the same trap of proof texting.
Finally, Jinger calls out all the man made rules of her youth, but lays down her own opinion as truth. I know that most Christians believe this way, but it just stood out to me as a sharp contrast to go from “man made rules are wrong” to “if you don’t end up with Jesus, you’re wrong.”
I didn’t have high hopes for this book, and I guess it kinda lived up to it. There’s probably more I could say, but I’ll just leave it there. -
A big reason I purchased this book, other than sheer morbid curiosity, was due to the cover - bless this poor girl's heart, wearing an orange jumpsuit on the cover of a book about her newfound "freedom"! I'm not sure what series of people on the publishing team signed off on that, but - yikes.
This would have gotten three stars if Jinger Vuolo had written more of it, but it was pretty apparent that she was, at best, a contributing editor. I probably could have forgiven all of the logical and factual errors in it if it were Jinger writing it, rather than lending her name to her new church's (rather untalented) mouthpiece. Her education was so sadly lacking that she prefaced nearly all quotations in the book - in the book she claims to have written - with "I never read this book" or "I never saw this movie." Ma'am, we know. But you still haven't read it? Not even when "writing" a book of your own? But you still feel right about quoting from it? And expect that to be persuasive? At one point she even describes Stepford Wives to us - as described to her by her husband!
There is not a lot of content in this thing. I mean that in a literal way - there are actually dozens of blank pages scattered in between chapters, so the work pants and wheezes to a very-misleading 200ish pages - and also in a figurative way. Much of the work is quotations from the Bible, a few pastors no one has ever heard of, and the men who either used to or currently do lead the churches of which the author is a member. Essentially, this is a poorly executed propaganda piece for the new "truth" the poor girl is just *sure* about this time. Bless her heart!
Call me when Jill writes a book, she'll probably write it herself and be honest and reflective. -
Can I just start this off by saying, go Jinger! As a longtime watcher of 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On, I've followed many of the older sisters for years and years. I always appreciated that the Duggars were Christians, but I knew there was something a little...off with the IBLP stuff their family followed.
In this book Jinger shines a light on so many non-biblical teachings (though masked to look and sound biblical) she grew up learning. This is not a tell-all book on the Duggars, but it does expose many of the beliefs they were taught that turned out to be man-made rules (the man being Bill Gothard). With "deconstruction" unfortunately being a popular trend among Christians, I appreciate that Jinger uses the term "disentangling". Instead of walking away from her faith altogether, Jinger peels away the IBLP layers until she is left with what truly matters: Jesus and the Bible.
This book is packed with scripture to counter the man-made rules that the IBLP forces people to follow. Jinger proves that Christianity is not the problem- it's when humans twist scripture to fit their own narrative. She shares many insights into her faith life now, such as how she views the Bible now vs. how she viewed it when under the IBLP authority.
Even if you didn't grow up the same way as Jinger, I think many people would benefit from reading her story and how she is so much more free and happy in her faith now. As a fan I just want to say I'm so happy for you, Jinger! -
I binge listened to this book in a day. It was an excellent read and I enjoyed hearing Jinger’s story as in some ways it mirrors my own. I am really glad she exposed a lot of the Bill Gothard heretical teachings. How much better and more wonderful it is to know God has fully forgiven His children and we aren’t earning our way to heaven by doing good or following man made rules.
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It’s not extremely profound, but it is a powerful testimony that I think anyone raised in Christianity would benefit from. (And anyone who was not!) Most of Jinger’s testimony is refuting Gothard’s teachings with what she learned about God through studying His Word. I thankfully didn’t grow up with Gothard’s teachings and was unfamiliar with a lot of them. However, I think anyone who grew up in conservative Christianity has had experience with “gothards”. Yes, maybe not as extreme or in the same areas, but Christianity is unfortunately full of people in authority who claim to speak for God and teach their opinions as biblical rules.
I can’t imagine the pressure Jinger felt writing this book knowing the vast extremes who would be reading it - from old friends and family still entangled in Gothardism to atheists and people who just wanted juicy private details. I think she did a wonderful job. It took a lot of courage! I was impressed with how carefully she honored her parents throughout the book while still speaking truth. It is in no way a book of dirt on her family.
The writing style and layout were a bit hard for me to follow. Part of that may have been reading it in the ebook version. -
"Whatever Gothard was promoting, it was convincing and inspiring."
"There was something deeply ironic and hypocritical about all the young ladies staffing the organization's national offices. They were only allowed to work outside the home at the center of the movement that forbade them from working outside the home."
My family was also involved with Bill Gothard's "ministry" during my teen years, and although that irony may be plain to those outside Gothard's cult, it wasn't so obvious to those of us inside. I am thankful that we had a solid church and other influences that prevented my family from following Gothard unreservedly, but it still took me years to lose the legalistic baggage he promoted. Thank you, Jinger, for using your "platform" (for lack of a better word) to tell the truth and share your story. -
Like many in my generation, I grew up watching the Duggars. As a conservative, Christian, homeschooled kid it was fun to see a family I could relate to on TV ... even if my family had two kids instead of nineteen. The relatability continues in Jinger's new book.
I appreciate Jinger's gracious explanation of disentangling instead of deconstructing. I appreciate her effort to remain kind while speaking truth. In these pages, Jinger expresses many of the thoughts and feelings I've heard amongst my peers who desire to keep their faith while carefully weeding out unhelpful, extrabiblical elements that became entrenched in conservative Christian culture during the 90s and 2000s.
For those looking for a sensationalized account of a terrible childhood and a dramatic tale of throwing everything away in adulthood, Jinger is quick to explain that this book is not that. And it wasn't. You can tell that each word was chosen with care and designed to tell a truthful but intentionally low-drama account of Jinger's faith journey.
The audiobook, which is how I consumed this book, is narrated by Jinger herself. It's always fun to hear a book in the author's own voice, but it's also worth noting that you lose the benefit of a professional narrator by going this route. For those who don't care for slower narration, be prepared to listen to this one at 1.5 or 2x. I don't like speeding up audiobooks, but I felt the slow words/minute with this one.
Overall,
Becoming Free Indeed is a straightforward account that deserves its place on bookseller's shelves. -
Becoming Free indeed chronicles Jinger’s life growing up under the tenants of Bill Gothard, explaining how these tenants were applied in her home and how she applied them to her own life. She then explains how her beliefs were challenged, causing her to examine everything she believed about God and His Word. Praise the Lord that through this examination of her beliefs, that her belief in Jesus remains intact. I think this book is excellent because of HOW she told her story. It is told with such grace, humility, and vulnerability. This book is an excellent example of how to speak truth in love. I was so touched with how she honored her family with her words and with how she talked about them, while still speaking truth and pointing out the falsehoods. I think a lot of the times we can get caught up in our own self-righteousness (guilty!) and forget that WE ALL NEED JESUS. Let’s be committed to praying for them all. This story is hopeful, the Gospel is weaved throughout, and I pray that this would open the eyes and soften the hearts of many, bringing them out of shame, fear, and legalism and into the real freedom offered in Christ.
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Ehhh. Jinger was incredibly graceful. But I'm super trashy, so this just wasn't it for me.
I watched 19 Kids and Counting and Counting On for years. This family has always fascinated me. I loved how close they were and how many kids they had, but as always, you're not aware of what's going on behind the scenes. The highlight reel is pretty, but every teaching that it's based on is terrifying and problematic. So hearing Jinger speak out regarding the horrendous teachings of Goddard was interesting. That perfect family on TLC wasn't perfect and here's why.
However, this was way more biblical than I thought it was going to be. I understand using scripture to prove her points, but most of it went over my head because I'm not a Christian. I ended up skimming/skipping most of those parts. Maybe I should've read the fine print on that one? I truly felt like this book was going to be totally different. A tale of spilled tea, if you will?
Also, this isn't even a long book, but probably 50-100 pages could've been removed from this. Jinger repeated herself multiple times. She also used the same verses multiple times to prove different points, which is unimpressive to me. The bible is huge, why are you quoting multiple verses 2-3 different times throughout the book?
I think I just expected so much more from this, and I believe that this book is falsely advertised. -
I pretty much inhaled this book. I listened to the audiobook, but I will be owning the hardback copy for my bookshelf.
Jinger gracefully breaks down the ins and outs of Bill Gothard's teachings, explaining how they were introduced to her parents and how they were applied in her home. She candidly shares her experience growing up "in a fish bowl" on reality TV, and how the teachings she heard created a crippling pattern of fear in her life. While I did not grow up in the IBLP, I found myself nodding my head and saying, "Yes!" listening to her recount her experiences, having many similar experiences in my past with rules being tacked on to the Bible and then held to the same level as the fundamentals of the faith. This poses a grave problem and creates a breeding ground for abuse to occur, as well as a sense of pride for being "better" than those who are not exactly like you.
What I loved the most was her constant use of Scripture - applied in context. The problem with Gothard and various other cults is the way they use Bible verses to instill a belief that is not Biblical at all. I specifically related to her fears of taking Communion - fearing God would strike me down dead if I took it while unknowingly having a sin in my life. This is a sick mishandling of 1 Corinthians 11:27-32 and I am thankful she took the time to explain so many ways that cherry-picking Bible verses harms people and dishonors Christ.
While many anticipated this book to be this massive tell-all that would expose her family as horrible human beings, Jinger did not say one negative word about her parents. Rather, she referred to them in gracious, loving, God-honoring ways while still firmly rejecting the errors in her family's theological thread. It was articulated so well and I appreciated that.
Becoming Free Indeed may not make a lick of sense to people who did not grow up in legalism or in the church. But for those who did, for those who were raised in similar fashion, this book is a fantastic resource that doesn't just expose what is wrong, but lifts up Who is right.
Well done, Jinger. -
I was not going to read this because I am so over ATI/IBLP teaching. It was extremely influential in my formative years and I "disentangled" over 15 years ago. What surprised me about this book was how refreshing it was.
I listened to the audiobook narrated by the author on Scribd. I had some negative feelings going into it since it was co-written by someone who I'm not sure was in ATI, but I think the co-writer helped to organize Vuolo's story in a really great way.
The grace and truth balance was what I found so refreshing. It seems like people who left Gothard's teaching are usually either so free that they no longer follow the truth of the Bible at all or else they're so stuck in making sure everyone knows how bad it all was that you don't want to listen to them. Vuolo seems to be right in the middle.
I don't agree with her theologically 100%, but that didn't bother me. It was kind of funny to hear her quote some of the specific examples Gothard used in his teaching. Part of me thought, "how could any of us have listened to this guy?" But he actually was a dynamic speaker who told a good story. That is why millions of people listened to him for so long.
I appreciate how she clarified that he was not in fact a Bible teacher. He used Scripture, but he didn't teach it exegetically. This was partly how I realized he was wrong; as I took hermeneutics classes from a sound Bible college I realized he was using Scripture in an inaccurate way in order to build his own kingdom.
As I listened to Vuolo's story it made me grateful that I got to disentangle from the teaching that really shaped me in my formative years alongside my husband's disentanglement journey. I had to share with him some of the quotes shared in the book so we could laugh together and we were both like, "oh wow! I remember that teaching!" It's pretty great that we both get it - almost like an inside joke, except that it probably should be more sad rather than funny. We aren't scarred from the teaching, so it's funny.
This isn't a book I'd necessarily recommend to someone who has no connection to ATI/IBLP, but if that teaching was part of your spiritual formation and you feel stuck, it would probably be helpful.
Sometimes tone is everything and I think I appreciated this book more because I got to hear Vuolo reading it with her own inflection. She was so kind and gracious while speaking the truth without wavering. Also, if I had to spend any more time thinking about Bill Gothard I probably would have DNF'ed so I'm glad I could listen to it quickly on audio. -
I had never heard the name Gothard, or watched 19 kids and counting, but this was an amazing testimony of Gods grace. She’s a very good story teller!
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Jinger is brave for writing a book that speaks against the cult-like religion in which she grew up. I especially appreciated her vulnerability and how she didn’t speak out against her parents. This wasn’t a tell-all exposé; rather, it was a memoir specifically about her faith journey. Growing up under the legalistic teachings of Bill Gothard was damaging to her relationship with God, so most of the book was about her “disentangling” what she was taught versus what the Bible actually teaches.
From a literary standpoint, I would’ve liked to see smoother transitions between ideas and chapters. At times it felt like she was bouncing from topic to topic, then circling back to an idea a few chapters later. However, this wasn’t super distracting to my reading experience.
I applaud Jinger for writing a book that is sure to encourage others to examine their faith and point them closer to Jesus, rather than walking away from the faith altogether. -
I’m really thankful for the bravery it must have taken to write this book exposing false teaching. As someone largely unfamiliar with the teachings of ILBP I really appreciated the exposure of the teaching as well as the way she held the truth of God’s word and the gospel right alongside each point. It’s a hopeful, gospel saturated book that I hope opens the eyes of many and brings them out of shame and fear and into the freedom offered in Christ.
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While Jinger comes thisclose to calling the IBLP a cult, she never quite does. What she does do is call out Bill Gothard (and IBLP) on their bs, albeit very nicely. She also doesn’t lay any blame on her parents which I found inauthentic. I ‘read’ on audio but it would have been a way faster read in print. The Bible verses included bogged down the audio and would have presented better in print.
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In a time when it seems everyone is talking about “deconstructing” something, this book takes a unique approach. Jinger differentiates between deconstructing and disentangling. It was a very thought-provoking read and a challenge to think about my own standards of measurement and how they stack up against God���s Word. A great read and one I am sure to re-read again.
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I bought this audiobook because I watched the Duggars on TV for years and have always liked Jinger. I didn’t actually read the synopsis on the back. If I had, I probably wouldn’t have bought the book, but I’m so glad I did.
Jinger explains how so much of her youth was spent following the horrifying and dehumanizing teachings of Bill Gothard, who taught under the guise of pointing people to a godly, successful lifestyle. At several points, I nearly wept because of how much of Jinger’s life was spent following utter garbage teachings.
I really appreciated how she emphasized the gospel and living for God’s glory in this book. However, I felt the book was more about a criticism of the ministry of one man rather than being free in Christ in general.
