Marry Me a Little: A Graphic Memoir by Robert Kirby

Marry Me a Little: A Graphic Memoir Reviews

• 
  Scottsdale Public Library

  In addition to getting swept up in Rob and John’s wedding planning, you’ll likely learn something while reading Marry Me a Little. Author/illustrator Rob Kirby weaves his own experience marrying his long-time partner, John, with historical and political background regarding same-sex marriage in the United States and Canada. In addition, to showcase pop culture's views of the institution of marriage, Kirby also includes examples of how marriage is portrayed in popular tv shows and movies, along with the (usually limited) role of LGBTQ+ characters. To further emphasize the historical and political focus of the book, Kirby uses a traditionally patriotic color palette of red, white, and blue. I found Kirby’s graphic memoir to be sincere, humorous, and informative. –Diana F.
• 
  Robert

  I think this book is very good and funny and personal and entertaining and I know the author b/c he's me so I'm biased but I still stand by these statements and you should get this book and read it. Thank you, thank you very much (exits)
• 
  Rebecca

  For as unsentimental as Kirby claims to be, this is super sweet. Hopping around in time, he tells the story of how he and his husband John, having been together for 10 years at that point, decided to get married in 2013, even though they were dubious about the institution of marriage. After all, they were grateful to have the right in Minnesota, and before long all the other states followed suit. Ten years on, though, he realizes "social justice issues are all linked together" and equal marriage rights are under threat from a conservative-leaning high court.
  
  The blue and red color scheme is very effective at evoking a polarized America and the ebb and flow of emotions, with blue for calm, happy scenes and concentrated red for confusion or anger. This is political, for sure, but it's also personal, and it balances those two aims well by tracing the history of gay marriage in the USA and memorializing his own relationship.
  
  "I seriously count my blessings every day. Our life together: A mix of little stuff and big stuff, arguments and heart-to-hearts, personal quirks and private jokes, doubts and commitments, work and play, joy and grief......day-to-day life stacking up into years gone by. To me that's, you know, marriage. Even before we were 'officially sanctioned' by the state. And we'll continue on that way, no matter what a bunch of people in long black robes might say."
  
  Adorbs!
• 
  Jason

  This touching, timely memoir finds the perfect balance of the personal and the political. It's the story of cartoonist Rob Kirby marrying his longtime partner soon after his state legalized same sex marriage, but Rob takes the scenic route, with plenty of funny tangents, historical asides, meditations on how weddings are portrayed in pop culture, and wrestling with his own mixed feelings about the institution of marriage. But despite his ambivalence, the section of the book about his actual wedding day is so beautiful and poignant, it sweeps you up in the same "floaty" feeling he describes.
• 
  Hannah Garden

  Ahh so lovely!!!!! I have been watching this memoir come together via Patreon and to hold it in my hands feels like a little piece of cosmic pie I can keep and eat again, keep and eat again. What a gift this kind of art is, tender stories clear and true.
• 
  Elizabeth A

  Marriage doesn’t define a relationship. Unless you want it to.
  
  Moved a stack of queer reads up my TBR for Pride month. This graphic memoir explores the author's ambivalence around marriage equality and other related ramblings. Sweet with a charming illustration style.
• 
  Raina

  Autobiographical GN about the author's choice to get married to his husband.
  
  Like many folx, they got married largely for medical benefit reasons (once gay marriage was legal, their places of employment shut down domestic partnership benefits*).
  There is a cloud looming over the story that gay marriage may stop being legal at some point, so this may be a brief opportunity for them.
  Semi-anecdotal. Sweet little romantic warm fuzzy stories about this specific couple. Covers some of the larger context and history around gay marriage. They acknowledge their White and class privilege.
  
  Mostly black on white line drawing, but touches of color in an interesting way.
  Pretty sure I read it in one sitting.
  
  *Medical benefits are the biggest reason I'm not married, fwiw.
• 
  MariNaomi

  i've been following this comic's progress on rob kirby's patreon (i absolutely love the diary comics he posts there), then i got to see an advance copy of the book. kirby's drawings are so charming, his experiences so relatable. he did a wonderful job on this book. a true comics legend doing his best work!
• 
  Rod Brown

  A sweet look at the author's wedding day also offers up some rambling thoughts and digressions on marriage and marriage equality in general.
• 
  Laura

  Cis-heterosexual couples can not image what a difference Obergefell v. Hodges ruling made for lives of gay and lesbian people in the United States, when it made same sex marriage the law. (at least for now).
  
  Robert Kirby tells his story of how and why he got married to his husband, and the whole tiem I was reading this, I kept nodding my head and agreeing with everything he was saying. How legal marriage gave you so many rights, things that Cis-straight couples never have to worry about.
  
  So, when he finds that he can get legally married in Minisota in 2013, he decides to go for it, and plans a simple ceremony at the judges court room, followed by a part at a local restaurant. He brings in people that are special to him, and is amazed how it all feels, and how normal, and changed and not changed things are.
  
  When I got married, it was just after Trump was elected. And Like Robert, I worried that the *right* to be married would be taken away from me, so made sure that I did it before he gained office. And like Robert, I too was shocked at how many groups were hit by his policies, and how many groups, such at the ACLU, that I joined to combat it.
  
  This is a well written slice of life, and well worth the read, if for nothing else, to remember how things were, and how they are, and what could come next.
  
  Thanks to Edelweiss for making this book available for an honest review.
• 
  Todd

  I can't recall ever reading a book where I've felt more seen, as a middle aged gay man whose own uncertainty and ambivalence about the institution of marriage was accurately reflected by Kirby's musings. Rob and John's relationship, and especially their marriage planning and wedding, mirror ours to such a degree that I almost couldn't believe it. And makes me think that we're hardly alone in this feeling, particularly among lesbians and gays.
  
  The author/illustrator's colored pencil drawings are clear and realistic, with a bit of dreaminess and energy that are used appropriately. It's a wonderful medium for a personal story like this graphic memoir.
  
  Sometimes I chide reviews that talk so much about readers needing to see themselves in literature. I definitely saw myself here, and it moved me. But I still don't know if that makes my life any richer, or that I will thrive in ways because of it. Instead, I simply appreciate Rob Kirby's gift, and laud him for telling his and John's love story so beautifully.
• 
  Diana Flores

  A good mix of Rob Kirby's own story of marrying his long-time partner, John, in 2013, when gay marriage was legalized in their home state of Minnesota, with historical and political background regarding gay marriage in the United States (and Canada). The traditional USA color palette of red, white, and blue helps emphasize the historical and political focus.
  
  Kirby also details some examples of marriage in popular tv and movie titles in an effort to examine pop culture's views of the institution of marriage.
  
  While I appreciate (and learned from) the historical and political background, my favorite sections were the parts focusing on the personal story of Rob and John.
  
  {Advance copy provided by Edelweiss / Read digital copy}
• 
  Tatiana

  What a wonderful, brilliant, poignant book. A touching and relatable story of the scenes of a long life together, with meditations on the institution of marriage and it’s image in pop culture. The book shows the planning of the big day and discusses the legal rights in flux around gay marriage. All depicted with a masterfully skillful, lovely cartooning style with spectacular coloring that is another language in itself. I appreciated the eschewing of corniness while embracing the joy of love, and by the end I was tearing up.
• 
  Liv

  I expected to like this more but it felt disconnected. The personal bits were too short for me to connect to the Kirby or his husband. Then the time between 2013-2023 was a sprint and the one-per-page comics to describe huge events/periods was discombobulating. Then the ending was anticlimactic. There wasn’t enough of a link to either the personal or the informative angle of gay marriage. I did like the way some of the art was repeated/arranged, but I don’t know that this needed to be a book.
• 
  KAT

  Seeing that this book was rated exactly 4 stars surprised me at first. I was only about 1/3 of the way through it and it wasn't really interesting me all too much. But, eventually I got sucked in and ended up finishing the book fairly quick. It really made me think about a lot of things. I'm queer myself but I am in a hetero relationship. So same-sex marriage is something that I don't think about for myself but I have friends and family who identify somewhere within the LGBTQ+ community and I would feel devastated for them if they lost same-sex marriage as being legal. I'm not one to delve into politics, I feel it's always so negative and unappealing to me but it's honestly crazy how just because 2 men love each other, or even 2 women loving each other can cause people to want to take that away from them? It's not their life, it doesn't effect them in any way. This book really made me want to do good and just truly be a good person. You never know what people have to deal with and what they're going through and the best thing we can do is be kind and stand up to those people who try to take away from us.
• 
  Joanne

  3.75. Simple and heartfelt; turns and twists and considers the concept and meaning of marriage over and over to view from all sides, much like a Rubik’s Cube. And not just same-sex marriage but a thoughtful impetus for all couples. I loved the lettering especially-rendered with sharp little red and blue pencils. Maybe a bit low-energy, but overall a noble endeavor.
• 
  Ashton Rios

  This is a super quick read, but I read it so slowly to soak everything in. I love the idea of finding comfort in our loved ones, even if the forces of the world are actively stepping between you & them. This was a comforting read that made me tear up, but it also made me grateful for what I have. I love seeing the lives of normal, everyday people & reading their stories.
• 
  Sophie

  I stopped at the public library in Tyler, Texas as I love looking at libraries. I picked this one up off the shelf to read while I was here and it ended up being about a queer couples marriage that lives in Minnesota. A small work even in a small town Texas.
• 
  lucy black

  A memoir of getting married when it finally became legal for gay marriage. This is a sweet story but a bit too much about American politics for me, I liked the more personal stuff.
• 
  Ethan

  Has some sweet moments, but I ultimately just didn’t really get much from this at all.
• 
  Peach! Benitez

  I guess I just love graphic memoirs.
• 
  Chrisreadsbooks

  Interesting history of gay marriage in the United States - with a few shout outs to Canada for getting there first. Yay. Also some warnings about how easily these hard earned rights can be taken away. It was in graphic form so easy to read. I would like to give it 3.5 stars.
• 
  Jules

  I really liked the use of color in this graphic memoir. I think any queer American circa 2016-2020 can relate to some feelings captured here.
• 
  Melissa

  A sweet graphic memoir/comment on marriage equality - a little "we're basically old marrieds anyway" + "do we need this institution - yes <3" + "people are trying to take away our rights". Loved the art and color palette.
• 
  Heather

  Engaging graphic memoir about the ambivalence and tensions within the queer community about same-sex marriage.
• 
  RP

  This made me cry like three times. It's out now. Rob Kirby has such a lovely narrative voice and the people he draws, including himself, are so loveable and real. Just people living their lives, worrying, enjoying, doing their best. The drama is the drama of everyday life. In the memoir it comes from Rob's ambivalence about marriage, his losses, his love for his partner, and the joys and pains of their life together.
• 
  Carol

  I loved it. The author was very open and honest about his path as a gay man to the marriage of his parter in 2013, and the impact of the political climate on their life. From his own insecurities about getting married, to the fear that their right to wed would be taken away, the author tells his story with sincerity and a great deal of humor. I thought his side comments were hysterical! As a fellow genXer, I loved all of his 80s and 90s cultural references, especially his shout out to the great rom-coms. Our lives couldn’t be more different, but I felt so much in common with the author. All of his hopes and fears resonated with me. Maybe none of us are so different after all.
  
  I received a free ARC of this book and wrote my review voluntarily.
• 
  Dakota Morgan

  A nice little graphic memoir about the arrival of gay marriage and how it changed (or didn't change) the author's life. Some portions feel very much borrowed from a blog - art styles shift as the story jumps ahead several years and leaves marriage behind (hello, awkward 2016 election section). But it's overall a pleasant, thoughtful reminder of the importance of marriage equality.
• 
  Craig

  Wonderful reminder of many things about LGBTQIA married life (and the ensuing identity cognitive dissonance) in the United States. But most especially, it is a wonderful reminder of what a talent Rob Kirby is.
• 
  Doreen

  2/20/2023 Delightful. Full review tk at
  TheFrumiousConsortium.net.
  
  2/22/2023 This graphic novel might be the most relatable thing I've ever read about marriage, especially from the perspective of a white man.
  
  When gay marriage was legalized in 2013, Robert Kirby and his partner John had already been together for about a decade. They shared a dog and a house, and were thrilled that marriage was the next thing they could embark on together too. The actual act of getting married, well, that was another thing. They weren't opposed to it at all, but the whole concept brought up a lot of questions for Robert, who chronicles them with tenderness and wit in this thoughtful graphic memoir.
  
  From their first date in 2003 to the changes wrought by the pandemic in 2020, this book touches poignantly on what marriage, and especially marriage equality, means to the writer and his husband as a middle-class white gay couple. It can't help but be political, as Robert grapples with acceptance versus heteronormativity, in addition to introversion versus celebration. It deals, ofc, with the disastrous presidency of 45, and the fears that gay couples continue to face as reproductive rights are attacked, in preparation for the inevitable onslaught on hard won equality rights.
  
  But most of all, Marry Me A Little talks about how important it is to normalize gay marriage, in large part to make it so that queer people don't have to jump through so many hoops to be given the same rights as non-queers. It's mostly pointless and just downright mean to restrict important parts of the social fabric to people of a particular sexual orientation or race or similar category, as this book so gracefully points out in its chronicling of rights in the USA to date.
  
  Overall, I found this a super-relatable memoir, especially in Robert's ambivalence about celebrating his wedding, yet how touched he was at all the love and support he received over it, whether from family and old friends or from near strangers. That said, the part in this book where I cried was when Robert was talking about his sister's wedding, and what their dying mother told her right before. It's a lovely reminder that sometimes the strangest advice winds up making the most sense.
  
  Marry Me A Little by Robert Kirby was published yesterday February 21 2023 by Graphic Mundi and is available from all good booksellers, including
  Bookshop!