Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult: A Memoir by Michelle Dowd

Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult: A Memoir Reviews

• 
  Alicia Bayer

  One of my favorite reads ever, and I read about 400 books a year. Tragic, mesmerizing and absolutely beautifully written. While our lives look utterly different on the outside, I also related so much to Dowd and her childhood. Full review to come on our family homesteading/foraging blog closer to its March publication.
  
  TW: sexual abuse, child abuse, violence, eating disorders, death, religious abuse, suicide
  
  ARC read via NetGalley.
• 
  Brynn | readyourworriesaway

  Michelle was vulnerable while sharing stories of her life at the Field, where she endured abuse, poverty, and isolation. She grew up being told that comfort is a sin, so she had to learn survival skills.
  
  I enjoyed that each chapter begins with an edible plant and how to use them. After reading about everything she went through, I was amazed at Michelle’s strength to leave the Field in order to start a life on the outside.
  
  If you are a fan of memoirs, I think you will enjoy this coming of age story about surviving in nature and breaking free.
• 
  Elizabeth

  Forager is an interesting look at The Field, a cult that was based (mostly) in California. The book connects different aspects of foraging with snippets of memories about growing up in The Field. Overall, I found the book quite interesting and enjoyed and appreciated the author's voice throughout the narrative sections. I thought the part where she analyzed her relationship with her mother - an expert naturalist tethered to a cult - to be very interesting - it was almost a biography of her mother as told by her as a young girl with mentions of the other supporting characters of her life.
  
  At times, the book slows to a crawl, so I sped-read through some of the less interesting anecdotes about growing up in the field, but by the end you have a well rounded understanding of the author's life and experience, and a look at her relationship with her mother. I don't live in a similar environment, either, but I feel like I have a basic understanding of the thoughts people have as they head into the wilderness to forage and survive!
• 
  Julia

  Michelle Dowd was raised in an isolated religious community high in the Angeles National Forest of California. Despite evangelical brainwashing, enduring emotional, verbal, physical and sexual abuse, being deprived of a formal education, and suffering malnourishment and poor health, she escaped from her family's cult and has become an award-winning journalist. This is the story of her traumatic childhood.
  
  Michelle's memoir is raw, shocking and emotional. Her relationship with her parents, and their emotional and physical betrayal, is truly heartbreaking — after all, your parents are supposed to be the ones who love you unconditionally, encourage you and lift you up when you need it. Tragically, Michelle's failed her in nearly every regard. With foraging playing a significant role in Michelle and her siblings supplementing their childhood diets on the mountain, each chapter begins with an illustration and brief description of a species of edible plant. These interludes are welcome as they pause, at least for a few moments, what is often a painful narrative. I would have liked to have heard more about her journey after she left her family, but I'm thankful that she has become successful, if likely emotionally scarred, in her endeavors as an adult.
  
  I received this ARC via LibraryThing's Early Reviewers program.
• 
  Stephanie

  Browsing through NetGalley a while back, I found a book that basically had my name on it in flashing neon signs. It combined multiple interests of mine, and though it took a while, I was finally approved, and I was thrilled. Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult by Michelle Dowd (Algonquin Books, 2023) called my name from the moment I read the title, and I was correct: this book was a deeply engaging read, mining into a childhood filled with chaos, dystopian theology, and a love of nature that has remained with its author through her escape from the cult that created her.
  
  Michelle Dowd was raised in California in her grandfather’s group known as The Field (which still exists today, but, under different leadership, is drastically different from the group in which Ms. Dowd grew up). The end of the world was nigh; group members would need to learn how to survive in the coming apocalypse, so Michelle, who received only three years of education at a public school, learned early on how to live off of what the earth could provide. Pine nuts, roots, berries, leaves, needles, bark, Michelle learned how to use them all. This education was the only form of affection her mother gave her; The Field taught that any kind of affection was wrong and unnecessary, and thus Michelle grows up starved for love, attention, food, and education, though her obvious intelligence is never in question.
  
  An autoimmune disorder hospitalizes Michelle for months at a time; The Field states it’s because she’s an unfaithful Jezebel, her father never visits, and her mother blames her, with helpful statements such as, “Why are you doing this to me?” Throughout all of the chaos of her childhood - the physical and sexual abuse, the educational neglect, the lack of affection, the malnutrition, the illness, the anorexia and self-harm, the poverty, the persistent terror of eschatological theology preached by all the adults in her life - nature is her one constant, and it carries Michelle through to her eventual escape into the world she’d been made to fear her entire life.
  
  Forager is a beautifully written memoir, and turning such suffering and fear into beauty is no easy task. It’s Educated-meets-I Want to Be Left Behind, and it’s utterly stunning in not just the depths of depravity in which Ms. Dowd was raised, but the constant unfolding knowledge of how far she had to climb to escape, a process not fully detailed (dare I hope for a second memoir from Ms. Dowd?), but one alluded to have taken years. Deconstruction and rebuilding is a difficult process and one that must've been especially challenging for a person raised in The Field. This book left me stunned, grateful for Ms. Dowd’s survival, and deeply concerned for other members - current and former - of this group.
  
  Interspersed between the chapters are field notes on different plants that provide a little insight into the knowledge of the nature around her that Ms. Dowd absorbed as a child. The pictures she paints of the plants and trees that helped her survive and the way she describes the comfort she finds in nature and her ability to navigate it temper the intense descriptions of abuse, neglect, and apathy she grew up with. Like most memoirs that deal with heavy abuse, Forager can be tough to read at times, but ultimately, it’s well-balanced and will leave readers in awe of the strength it takes to survive a childhood like this one.
  
  Huge thanks to NetGalley, Algonquin Books, and Michelle Dowd for allowing me to read and review an early copy. Forager is available for purchase March 7, 2023.
• 
  Marianne

  Spare, focused, affecting. I learned things about myself and about the world from this book, some of which will take time to sink in.
  
  (NB: I read an advance reading copy given to me by the book's publisher.)
  
  CN: every kind of child abuse including sexual and physical, both graphic and implied; child neglect, parentification; domestic violence, religious abuse and shunning, the experience of being raised in a cult; serious autoimmune illness in a child, hospitals, disordered eating, medical treatment, psychiatric treatment, untreated mental illness
• 
  Gail

  Forager is an autobiography by Michelle Dowd who was taught foraging by her mother as she was raised in a cult in California. The book is really heartbreaking, and it is a wonder that Michelle even survives her childhood as it was really difficult and punctuated with sexual abuse, hunger, and lack of parental guidance and love.
  
  Michelle and her family are part of the inner circle of The Field, a religious organization started by her grandfather. They were very Christian in their beliefs, and strict with their interpretation of the bible. The group lives far from most people in in the Los Angeles mountains and takes on mostly boys that have had a difficult time in the “real world”. There are so many rules, many unspoken, that govern the daily lives of the cult followers. As a child, Michelle bristles at the structure, and since she is left to herself so much of the time with little formal schooling and no parental love or support, her life takes some dark turns with so much abuse.
  
  Michelle is a strong girl, distrusting of the outside world, and even when she has some life-threatening medical issues, she deals with hospital stays on her own and with little parental interaction. As she grows up her natural instincts kick in more and more and she finds herself getting into trouble and going against the rules of the cult.
  
  How she is able to pull herself out and survive is really a miracle, given the issues she was dealing with. In the end, she is there for her mother, who would not be getting mother of the year award. We can all learn from this book.
• 
  Dasha Slepenkina

  A big thank-you to NetGalley, the author, and publisher for giving me a copy of this book for an unbiased review.
  
  4.5/5 - Really liked it.
  
  Michelle Dowd, survivor of a family cult based in California, gives readers a raw and intimate look into her experience growing up and surviving within "The Field." The narrative is carefully structured so that readers experience a second-hand indoctrination. Dowd writes in the current tense with vivid, descriptive imagery and initiates her story with enviable descriptions of bucolic, independent life in the mountains of the Angeles National Forest. At just ten years old, she can identify which plants are safe to eat, how to survive in the wild, can navigate her surroundings by relying on the position of the stars, and spends her summers performing in a traveling circus. Her grandfather is the charismatic leader of a religious group, and aside from the occasional hint towards systemic violence and abuse, it doesn't sound too bad actually - who wouldn't want to grow up in the wilderness of a beautiful mountain range?
  
  But then the fight for survival begins in earnest, and not just survival in a physical sense - Dowd is fighting for her very identity, for her right to exist and belong. She endures severe abuse - beatings from her father, emotional and psychological gaslighting from her community, sexual advances by men twice her age. She is abandoned with a severe illness in the hospital, watching her roommates die while her parents refuse to see her, claiming she has been rejected by God based on her own lack of inherent goodness. She longs for a hug from her mother. She can find food in the desert, but surrounded by family and community, she is starved for human connection.
  
  This is the story of her fight to forage not just food from the ground, but in a deeper sense - Dowd speaks of her journey to forage goodness and compassion and love from that barren, uncultivated place in her own heart. And what she finds is abundant, crafting a story of deep vulnerability and beauty from the dark recesses of her childhood. Although the story is not always connected, with narrative threads that hang open-ended, the reader gets a clear understanding of her journey in escaping the cult into which she had been born. And her conclusions leave the reader feeling satiated, as if we have come out into the light alongside her.
  
  "What if the earth isn't the devil's domain? What if nothing is wrong with the world as we know it, if nothing is wasted in nature or in love?"
  
  "We are made for recovery."
• 
  Alyson Stone

  Book: Forager: Field Notes For Surviving in Family Cult: A Memoir
  Author: Michelle Dowd
  Rating: 4 Out of 5 Stars
  
  I would like to thank the publisher, Algonquin Books, for providing me with an ARC.
  
  I’m going to be upfront here. It took me some time to get into this one. While it is a memoir, it is told in present tense. At first, it made me come out of the story. However, the more I read the book, the more I found myself getting into the present tense. It turned out to be one of those situations where I thought something was not going to work, and ended up working. Now, I don’t think that any other tense would have worked.
  
  In this one, we follow Michelle, who lives in a cult. She is not told that it is a cult though, but a community. It is super religious and whatever Grandpa says, goes. She is sheltered from the outside world, which she has been told is not a good place and will take her down the wrong path. She lives and breathes for this so-called community. The older she gets though, the more she comes to realize that it is not what it seems. She learns just how much she has been neglected, unloved, and unwelcomed. She learns that she has not had the best life and that her best interests have not been taken care of.
  
  It was eye opening to see what she had to go through. It makes you stop and think about what all she went through. The bad thing is that this is all real. It makes you stop and think about your own life. You come to realize just how good of a life you may have. I am by no means saying that everyone reading this has a great life. What I am saying is that it makes you realize maybe just how truly blessed you are with what you have.
  
  Michelle does an amazing job at casting everything on paper. She brings everything to life and allows you to see what she went through. The detail and the field guide notes also make it look and feel all that much more real. That’s what I am looking for in a book. I want to feel as if I am part of the story. That, to be, is the making of a good book.
  
  Overall, I was very impressed with this book.
  
  This book comes out March 7, 2023.
  
  Youtube:
  https://youtu.be/M8Y8ZYoTtgs
• 
  Lacey Mubanga

  I had the hardest time with the writing style of this memoir. It is written in present tense as we move throughout the author’s childhood, and it can be difficult to ascertain exactly ‘when’ we are at any given time. She would randomly drop an age in every once in a while, and that did help, but overall, it felt very jumpy. Things that happened to her as a child were also presented in a way that a child would understand them at the time, and while there was a bit of processing of what really happened in some of these situations at the very end, I found it hard to muddle through in the main bulk of the book. All of this was a choice on the part of the author’s, in order to tell her story the way she thought was best. While I’m sure it will work for many others, I just didn’t like it.
  
  There were some beautifully written parts, and the field notes were quite interesting, but I just wanted more from this. In the introduction, she states this is her story of her childhood, and not about the cult itself. She didn’t want to hurt her family by giving too many specifics of their hand in the goings-on of the cult. I can certainly respect that, but I want more in a memoir.
  
  My rating in no way reflects the author’s experience. Her experience is traumatic and heartbreaking and I would never ever undermine that. My rating purely reflects the choice of writing style and how it personally didn’t work for me.
  
  If you’re interested in a book about what it’s like to grow up in an abusive situation as told from the eyes of the child, then I think you’ll definitely jive with this.
  
  I was able to read an advanced copy of this book thanks to Goodreads Giveaways with no expectation of a review.
  
• 
  Debrah Roemisch

  My library has a rack of books that are not officially released yet(this one is due in March 2023)--this looked interesting so picked it up. I have read several books about children raised in abusive religious cults who have escaped that were much better than this one. I did like the information about foraging--however there are a few mistakes which lead me to wonder about other information she presents. One example --you cannot eat raw rose hips without cleaning the seeds with hairs on them or you will be suffering! There are several inconsistencies which makes me wonder if she ever went over it before publishing or had anyone else read it--such as her Aunt dies in one chapter and then later is sent away, and I do not understand how her mother got her education since her father(the cult leader) did not believe in it especially for girls. Of course she is relating things that happened to her as a child and memories are not always clear or she does not remember everything. And why did no one at the hospital ever call CPS on these people!!?? Hard to believe that did not happen.
• 
  Kim

  I entered a giveaway to read this book because as an herbalist I was interested in reading the advice on foraging and how to survive in nature. While Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult by Michelle Dowd did have a bit of that at the beginning of each chapter and intertwined throughout the book, this is a story of a childhood filled with abuse and being alone.
  
  While survivor stories are not the typical books I read, Dowd wrote her biography in a very lyrical, and at times, uplifting way that impressed me. While she was a victim, she rarely saw herself as one. This was her life, this is all she knew, but through various engagements with books and people she realized it was not what she wanted.
  
  It was very hard to read many parts of the book when it came to the various abuses, but Dowd had such a strength in her writing that I didn’t find myself ugly crying or putting the book down for days before I could start reading it again.
  
  I know this is a book that will stick with me, and encourage you to give it a read.
• 
  Rachel

  Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing me with an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
  
  I have mixed thoughts about this book. When I hear the words "family cult" and "survivalists", I think about situations that are far more cut off from the outside world than what Dowd described in her book. While the rules with which she grew up were very strict, and she was taught to avoid "Outsiders" and "Quitters", it was interesting to know that she spent so much time in the hospital when she got sick. I remember when reading Tara Westover's Educated, that her family believed so strongly against formal medicine and outside influences that all illnesses and injuries, even life-threatening burns, were treated at home. However, Dowd's family did keep her separated when she finally came home, and did believe that her illness was a sign of "weakness" and an embarrassment to the family.
  
  Overall, I found Dowd's story to be compelling and thus a quick read. I felt great empathy for her and her siblings and am glad she ultimately found her way out.
• 
  Meg

  Sometimes I have trouble reviewing memoirs, and this is exactly why: while I read, part of my brain is screaming This is awful child abuse! How could anyone live this way? while the other part is wondering why the narrative isn’t particularly compelling. I didn’t see growth and change, which is always what I need to care about a character. Our narrator starts out abused and silently tough, and over the course of the book, the abuse changes, and she’s still silently tough about it. I wanted some explanation of why she wanted college or how she got there, but even the pivotal moment of a Quitter’s encouragement felt vague. I didn’t see personal reflection, see previous re: silent and tough. The adult characters remained mysteries to me, I still never understood the cult, the family relationships, or how the Outside adults never reacted to her injuries and filth.
  
  
  full book reaction
• 
  Shirley Freeman

  Considering Michelle Dowd's childhood (reminiscent of Tara Westover's as documented in "Educated"), it's not surprising that her book is a bit disjointed and occasionally confusing with regard to time line. Each chapter begins with a description of a wild plant and it's potential for being edible. Dowd's mother was an expert in botany (self taught I think) but knew absolutely nothing about how to love or how to meet the needs of a child. Dowd and her siblings had to forage where they could for love and care, and even food, within the confines of a religious cult started by her grandfather. Perhaps the sometimes jarring transitions are intentional since that must be the way Dowd's childhood felt, but they did take away from the story somewhat. I'd still be interested in knowing more about her young adulthood after she left the cult.
• 
  Linda

  As a memoir, this story has a lot of holes. It is told from the perspective of a child growing up in a dysfunctional family in a religious doomsday cult. The author and other children endure strict rules and physical abuse. The narrative jumps around a bit and many threads are started but never finished (I.e. when she takes the snowmobile away from the camp and …?, when she hoards money at her grandmother’s house but never retrieves it). The positive aspects are the information about scavenging edible food in the wild and how to survive if lost. Her story is horrific and I admire her strength of character to question the life she was born into and her courage in moving away from that life. She is obviously a very gifted, intelligent woman.
  
  Thanks to NetGalley and Algonquin Books/ Workman Publishing Company for the ARC to read and review.
• 
  Brinley

  This powerful memoir explores the life of being raised in an apocalyptic cult. Author Michelle Dowd is raised in a world of poverty, hunger and abuse while her family prepares her for the end times.
  
  Overall, this book was interesting, but parts felt repetitive and dull. Very little is centered on her escape from the cult, which is what I was most interested in. To me, her escape was the most compelling part - how did a girl raised in isolation with no formal education find her way off the mountain and in mainstream society? Unfortunately, this was barely touched on. Surviving her childhood was just one hurdle, but leaving was another. I hope Michelle explores this in a future book, because I’d love to hear more about her journey. Her strength is inspiring.
  
  Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Jamie

  An ARC was provided in exchange for an honest review. This did not influence my thoughts in any way.
  Forager: Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult is about Michelle, granddaughter of a doomsday cult founder. It tells the story of her childhood after moving to the Field. Michelle is taught how to forage by her mother and uses those skills throughout the story. The book is mostly about the cult as seen through the eyes of a child member. There are bible verses and a lot of twisted religion. I went into the book expecting it to be more about the foraging and wilderness skills so I was disappointed. It was well written and tragic but not my cup of tea.
  
• 
  Rachelle LeBlanc

  I won an ARC for Forager Field Notes for Surviving a Family Cult in a giveaway.
  
  I have tried several memoirs and have only been able to read one all the way through. I thought the premise for Forager was interesting and wanted to give it a try. It took me three weeks but I was able to read the whole book.
  
  Each chapter begins with a plant that goes in the wild that Michelle and her family grew up eating. She talks about how her mom wanted them to be able to survive off the land. The book details how The Field and The Mountain had different rules. There were rules for who could talk to who and how they should dress.
  
  Michelle discusses inappropriate touches from her grandfather’s men, her aunt’s possible mental disorders, and treatment of her and her siblings by their parents.
  
  Her dad was ex-military and treated their days are training camps. Her mom was distant and treated her and her siblings as members of the group instead of showing them parental love. When Michelle goes to the hospital for treatment of an autoimmune disease, her mom or grandma would only come when the treatments her over to take her home.
  
  I found this memoir interesting and did enjoy it. This will not be for everyone. If you find cults and the behaviors within them interesting, you will probably like Forager.
• 
  T Y

  I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advance copy of this extremely well written and engrossing book. The mixing of a harrowing tale of a very difficult early life with the native plant knowledge and more than a dash of hope leads to an unforgettable book that flows off the pages. Parts of the authors life are difficult to read about, but told so lyrically and with those dashes of hope and positivity so that they are unforgettable and ultimately an affirmation of the human spirit.
• 
  Stephanie Harper

  I was provided an ARC review copy from NetGalley and Algonquin Books for an honest review.
  
  This was a great memoir about growing up in her families religious cult, The Field.
  
  Michelle Dowd had to adhere to strict religious rules under the control of her grandfather and parents. This has some great insight into a world many don’t see.
  
  In my opinion, here are some trigger warnings to watch out for: child abuse/neglect, child molestation, mental health.
  
  
• 
  Shelby S

  Michelle Dowd’s childhood was spent in a family cult in California. From a young age she showed that she was more than what her parents expected of her. This memoir is a beautiful yet painful coming of age story that anyone who has survived trauma will relate to. I personally couldn’t get enough Michelle’s stories and zipped through the book. I absolutely love the cover and the layout of each chapter starting with a forgeable plant.
• 
  Susan

  Thanks to the publisher for sending me this advance reader copy. I attended a webinar and this book was featured. All attendees received the book.
  This is a quick read and simply written. The story of this poor girl stuck in a cult is frustrating and heartbreaking. The story is about self discovery and growth, I’m glad she found her way so young. I enjoyed it but didn’t love it.
  3*
• 
  Penelope Fisher

  As someone who loves memoirs and nature and who also has a special interest in cults, this book hit it all for me. I rooted for the author throughout. Her story broke my heart but I found the read captivating and ultimately uplifting.
  
  Thanks to Net Galley and the publisher for an advanced copy for review.
• 
  Emily

  Compelling, heartbreaking, moving. I loved this with my whole heart.
• 
  Lauren Nicole

  Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC.
  Fascinating and informative book about surviving living in a cult and the abuse that happens being in that cult.
  Definitely eye opening.
• 
  Diane

  This memoir is about growing up in a cult and surviving all types of abuse. It is about strength and escaping the cult. The foraging and field notes information in the book was very interesting.
• 
  Andrew Rice

  I was lucky enough to receive an advance copy of "Forager". It is beautifully written and tells the author's painful upbringing in a way that is inspiring to read. I love the naturalist aspect and tips on foraging. The pacing is great and I was hooked the entire way through.