Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem by Laurie Notaro

Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem Reviews

• 
  Alyssa

  ‘Perhaps I shouldn’t have gasped when she mentioned that she was using fake flowers from Michaels to create her centerpieces, or suggested lightly, “Remember, not everyone can pull off a sleeveless dress. It’s true. My sister once fired me from her wedding party when I pointed out that the average BMI of her bridesmaids definitively pointed to arm coverings, unless the Spanx lady had suddenly invented a girdle for flesh curtains.”’
  
  Nope. It’s 2022, fat shaming is so late 20th century. DNF.
• 
  jv poore

  I turn to Notaro when I feel slightly out of sync. I have the need to know that there other women in their fifties that simply cannot accept the fact that they aren't twenty-seven years old anymore. And, oh look, someone else has a list of words she cannot say during meetings. I really thought I was alone on that one.
• 
  Leslie

  OMG Laurie is my sister from another Mister
  
  Whether it was a discovering that MAWs (Middle Aged Women) are invisible or stunningly horrifying at home accidents ( no I never had a shard of glass almost sever my femoral artery but don’t ask about the butter knife and my toe) I am laughing and crying and trying not to pee myself (Kegels ladies) while reading her latest book
  
  Laurie finds humor, sarcasm and wit in every situation whether it is a woman almost dying at one of her shows or trying to sleep after 50
  
  The language is often rough, we may not agree on politics but Laurie’s wit, wisdom and occasional whining is a delight
  
• 
  Richard Propes

  Have you ever just written a review that missed the mark?
  
  That was my experience here with Laurie Notaro's latest effort "Excuse Me While I Disappear: Tales of Midlife Mayhem," a journey through Notaro's life as she passes fifty and learns that "with each passing day, you lose an equivalent amount of fear."
  
  Despite being somewhat outside Notaro's target audience, "Excuse Me" popped up on October's Amazon First Reads and it sounded like something I'd find interesting and entertaining and I decided to give Notaro a try as a quick review of both Goodreads and Amazon indicates she definitely has a passionate fan-base among female readers.
  
  I will admit that a lot of the female writers/essayists that I've read and appreciated fall more strictly within the faith-based and/or self-help genre. While Notaro does dance on that self-help line, her humor is often self-deprecating, has a tendency toward "potty mouth" language (though not obscene by any means), and tackles subjects an awful lot of writers wouldn't go near.
  
  As I wound down my time with "Excuse Me," I became acutely aware that while I often do resonate with this type of writing I definitely struggled to connect with "Excuse me." While I do think Notaro primarily writes for a female audience, I don't think that's why I struggled to connect. I think, for me, it was a struggle to get into Notaro's rhythm which could bounce from outlandishly funny to melancholy to quite serious and even a little sad. I just never quite found her rhythm and that impacted my enjoyment of the book.
  
  In my initial review for "Excuse Me," I attempted (but obviously failed) to adequately explain in specific places where I struggled but in so doing I ended up writing in a way that came off overly harsh and wasn't accurately communicating my experience well at all.
  
  To be honest, I'm typically a kinder and gentler reviewer (but honest) and was surprised when Notaro herself reached out hurt by the review.
  
  I read it. I read it again. I tried to put myself in her shoes (not easy for a guy who is footless). Ultimately, it's never my aim to hurt. So, I'm trying again.
  
  Notaro is a former essayist for the Arizona Republic and a veteran of several books largely grounded in real life, humor, and an abundance of sarcasm. She has a unique but fun relationship with her husband (whom I wish was in the book more) and the world around her.
  
  "Excuse Me" is a relatively quick read at 246 pages. As noted, it's a book of short essays - some are humorous, some are insightful, some have a bit of an edge to them, and some have a sense of melancholy to them during which Notaro still manages to find her humor.
  
  Books of short essays seem to inherently have a sense of disconnect as authors tend to bounce around a variety of life experiences and phases in their lives. The same is true here. I will admit that there were times I wished Notaro would spend more time on a subject - for example, I found the essays around a period when she returned to working in an office both funny and profound. I was curious how she was able to transition back into writing and get back to doing what she loves doing. There's a definite sense of hurt it seems as Notaro shares her experiences having written a historical novel that was timed poorly in the market and, as she notes, timing is everything.
  
  While I ultimately didn't quite connect with "Excuse Me" as much as I'd hoped would happen, I have a feeling the book will likely work just dandy with a majority of the people who've been following her over the years and who appreciate her humor, honesty, transparency, and willingness to say things a lot of folks won't say and say them in a way that will make you laugh a lot and maybe even reflect on your own experiences.
  
  Who will enjoy "Excuse me?" Primarily directed toward a female audience, "Excuse Me" will likely most resonate with more mature readers who understand what it feels like to get the first gray hair, the first cracking of bones, and the first traumatic fall that leaves you more exposed than you ever thought you'd be in life.
  
  For the record, I still wonder if she's related to Tig Notaro.
  
  
  
• 
  Carri Carey

  Biologically, I am the target audience of this book. I am a middle aged woman. But I absolutely am not the target audience of this book. She is shallow and self-absorbed and so damn petty, I just don't find anything here funny.
  Not to say it's a bad book! Please read it because you might find it hilarious! I can appreciate there is humor here. It's just, sadly, not my style of humor.
• 
  Bethany DeFrancesco

  I absolutely love Laurie Notaro and her ability to write so honestly while poking fun at herself and others around her. While I am not a MAW, I am about to turn 40 and now have a guide book of what to expect as I get older. Laurie Notaro makes going gray, menopause, and settling into middle age entertaining in a laugh out loud, “I can’t believe she just said that!”, way. I can only hope to be half as cool as Laurie Notaro is when I reach her age.
• 
  Kristi Lamont

  I wanted to like this more than I actually did.....Laurie Notaro made me laugh out loud more than once, especially early in the book and extra-especially when she wrote about "My mother, who wishes to remain anonymous."
  
  But most of the time everything just felt a little forced.
  
  Good for her, though, for writing books!
• 
  Mary

  I am an original idiot girl and am of a certain age and persuasion as Laurie and her stories could not have rang more true. I love to laugh until I pee (lets face it, doesn't take much these days) I felt so seen in her represenation of this life after 50. I have read everything by her and honestly have gone through the same stages of life as her from party girl to MAW. If you want a laugh out loud experience and just knowing that we might be invisible Laurie sees you. I downloaded and read in one sitting. Preparing for a garage sale and doing housework be gone. I snort laughed my way through and read excerpts aloud to my friends who also cackled loudly and my husband who just looked at me with a blank look on his face.
• 
  Samantha

  Funny as f***
  
  The author has taken many of the horrifying things that MAW go through and magically made them sound hilarious and even fun at times. Just a few more silver strands, and maybe I too can score free potatoes.
  Hearing-Loss Question Husband is a character I feel many women of a certain age can relate to as well... I related so hard as I put this book down for the 42nd time to answer my partner's questions twice, gems that were obviously worth interrupting my peaceful reading time, like "where do we keep the Windex in this house we've lived together in for years?" "Did you say on 'the top shelf' or 'go f*** yourself'"...
  The Idiot Girl has transformed into the Wise Woman and I'm here for it.
  
• 
  Winter

  OK!
  
  Thank you, Goodreads Giveaways, and to the author, Laurie Notaro.
  
  #WINNER!
  
  #GOODREADSGIVEAWAYS!
• 
  Wendi Manning

  Damn it Laurie! I love your other books so much that I go back and read them once a year. I’m in the age bracket for this book and I was so excited to read it. Then, I read it. I also read the posts on Fb where you shame people who don’t like the book. You’ve gone Portland girl. Some of the book was hilarious, some of it was so very “get off my lawn”.
  
  You can and have done better. You spend an awful amount of time here punching down. That’s not the Laurie I know and love. I couldn’t care less about swearing, stealing, or anything else, why does it seem like you’re trying too hard. I’ll check out another book if you write one, but I’m pretty sure, I’m just going to miss the Laurie I loved.
  
  Sorry NetGalley, but this just didn’t work for me.
• 
  Jessica

  This was the first DNF in forever. I read the first three or four chapters on a plane and could not connect with the story and didn’t find it funny. I found the author to be entitled and snooty and she engaged in mean girl behavior and fat shamed and it was just awful.
  
  The first chapter is about how she finally decides to stop spending $170 (plus a really big tip according to her) every three weeks on her hair to have the gray at the roots covered up. But she goes on to describe how she was offended she wasn’t invited to her stylist’s wedding (WTF - they aren’t your friends just because you pay them for a service). She criticized the stylist for having fake flower centerpieces and that the stylist let her bridesmaids wear sleeveless dresses. She thought the bridesmaids’ arms were too fat and had too much flab hanging when they raised theirs arms to be allowed to show their upper arms off. She sees pics of the wedding on Facebook and thinks to herself that she was right the bridesmaids shouldn’t have gone sleeveless.
  
  I should have stopped reading right then when at 50 years old, she’s still judging other women’s bodies this way.
  
  Then she goes on to describe how she starts stealing things because people ignore women with gray hair. A woman as wealthy as she was claiming to be stealing things just because?
  
  I just couldn’t read this. The entitlement and mean girl behavior was over the top. At 50, I expect women to have grown out of this and stopped judging other women for what they do and how they handle their bodies, but this author behaved like she was 20.
  
  This is not empowerment or connection. The only self confidence I saw was from the way she put other’s down.
• 
  Marianne Reese

  I have mixed emotions about this book. I’m the target audience and can say if you’re approaching menopause there’re a lot of things in here that your momma probably never told you about. She’s spot on in so many areas, but! just because it happened to her doesn’t mean it happens to everyone, and that’s something people who haven’t gone through the change need to keep in mind.
  If you’re the sensitive type and easily offended, which I’m not—probably because I’m at that age haha, then this may not be the book for you. The writing style and humor is pretty crass, which often times I found to be darn right funny, but again, if you’re overly sensitive you might find the writing offensive. She uses a LOT of similes, which I wasn’t a fan of as I felt there were too many. The other thing I wasn’t a fan of was the extent of sleep aids and other drugs used as if it’s okay and a totally normal thing to do.
  The chapter about the colonoscopy had me chuckling. The last chapter had the most emotional impact on me.
  
• 
  Maddi

  well, the cover drew me in. I, as a 19 year old, am clearly the not the right audience for this book. So I’m probably not the right person to leave a review. but imma leave one anyway.
  the humor in this was 50/50. Some of it was pretty good while other parts get forced. don’t get me started on the complaining. especially when she tried to mix the humor and complaining together.
  obviously this book written for middle aged adults is not meant for teens.
  please take my advice: read that back of the book before you read && don’t let the dinosaur on the cover draw you in a mind blowingly boring book.
  ————-
  pre-read: i'm in dinosaur era, so of course I have to read this
• 
  Christine

  Amazon First Reads are truly hit or miss.
  
  I laughed at a few initial lines, but I find most of this book to be body shaming, fat shaming, and just utterly uneducated/ill-informed information posed as the definitive “how-to-age-guide” by an obnoxious, self-loathing, “old-people”-hating woman in her 50s.
  
  The “telltale signs” of middle aged women are also health concerns that touch a variety of people of all ages - not just those who are 50+.
  
  This author is privileged in her platform & views; it’s gross and out of touch.
  
  Please don’t assume our experiences are yours. Write a memoir, sure, but this doesn’t read as such.
  
  The stereotypes are sickening.
  
  I’m not empowered. I’m no longer laughing. I’m pissed.
• 
  Indi

  .
  
  This is the book I didn't realize I needed to read. Funny, touching, sweet, sad, and then funny again, this is a portion of a memoir - focused on "that time" of a woman's life. We all will get to be "that age" (if we're lucky) and so few people are open about what it's really like. Laurie Notaro does not leave you guessing. This feels like a warm welcome to a club you never thought you'd want to belong to, and a secret initiation that ensures you want to stay.
• 
  Rebekah(fiction.addiction.1994)

  Triggers: fat shaming, ODing jokes
  Love the cover art. I'm 28 and I know I'm not the targeted audience but this was...I don't know I felt offended by her callus jokes. I'm debating if people actually find this funny... I know aging is hard and I wish there were 'talks' to get you through it. There were generally funny lines.. it's her spin on situations she made jokes of that aren't worth telling.. Overdosing is not a punchline in your bad joke and telling someone that on her wedding day, her bridesmaid's arm fat would ruin the pictures is not okay... I haven't read her books before but honestly, I'm glad because if this is her sense of humor I'm better without it.. thank you Netgalley
• 
  Arienna

  I finished this book in an evening because it was a pretty short, light read. The first half felt very forced and awkward, where she's printing rapid fire short essays about things to be aware of when aging. I almost put the book down and marked it as a did not finish. The second half deals more in personal stories of her own life and those were charming and engaging. The last chapter is a real tear jerker
  
• 
  Celeste

  There’s definitely wit in these essays but also cringe, lots of it. I wasn’t a fan of the fat phobia or the ageism. I don’t find punching down to be funny.
• 
  Cindy (BKind2Books)

  I have read other works by
  Laurie Notaro and enjoyed her writing, so when this was available as a First Read, I grabbed it and I'm glad I did.
  
  This was a humorous look at the funny side of the second 50 years. Notaro delights in becoming invisible, bemoans the physical decline even while she embraces her grey hair, and then there's the inevitable colonoscopy. I understand that some might not appreciate the salty language, but it's not shocking or prevalent. This was fun - even for a Boomer. We have passed the denial, bargaining and anger stages and are now firmly in the acceptance phase. It's worth the journey.
  
  Quotes I enjoyed:
  
  ✅ ...we're from the '90s...the last good time.
  
  ✅ On becoming invisible: ...the world had literally become mine for the taking...if you're invisible, if you've made it this far in life, make demands.
  
  ✅ Because at a certain point in life, things start getting weird...it's difficult to comprehend what is falling, failing, or has stopped working altogether...Because wherever you are on the journey of aging, tomorrow is going to be both worse and better.
  
  ✅ I wish someone had told me that my 34Bs would become 36 Longs.
  
  ✅ The day will come when you fervently wish that you are only as fat as you were the FIRST time you thought you were fat.
  
  ✅ ...the problem is not that we are losing our memory. It's that we are at capacity, and if new stuff wants to come in, we have to start throwing old stuff overboard. (I've said this for years. The sad thing is that you can't pick *what* gets tossed. Personally I can't figure out why I can remember the lyrics from every top hit of the 60s and 70s, but can't pull out the name of a person I met last week.)
  
  ✅ ...at my age, if it hurts on both sides equally, it's completely normal.
  
  ✅ At this point in my life, I have trouble telling whether someone in my house is making microwave popcorn or if it's my knees going upstairs.
  
  ✅ I used to be Catholic before I learned about science.
  
  ✅ People act poorly because other people have let them act poorly, and they have been able to get away with it for a lifetime. There is no sense of consequence.
  
  ✅ We are bit born old. We worked to get there. And it is such a surprise when you realize that your new body has been absorbed by a different one; freckles aren't where they used to beg and parts that were visible are now obstructed. It's a jarring moment, full of terror, anger, and wonder. It happens to every single one of us who stays alive long enough.
  
  ✅ I entered into a contract over a quarter of a century ago to marry this man and to spend the rest of my life choosing not to kill him.
• 
  Shan

  Entertaining and relatable collection of essays. I read them one or two at a time over a week or so, which is a good pace for this kind of thing. Notaro's on my mental shelf with Erma Bombeck and Peg Bracken, although when they were writing they had to be more careful with their language and could never have tackled some of the topics she writes about. If you're in the target age group (and aren't offended by certain words, like some complainers I saw in the GR reviews) it's reassuring to know you aren't alone. I'm quite a bit older than Notaro so can relate to some things more than others, but that invisibility she talks about in the first couple of essays? It's real.
  
  The essays are mostly funny but a couple, like the one about her elderly dog, are touching. Notaro also notices her own reaction when she gets a job and is put in the row of desks with the older workers: her first thought is wanting to be moved to the cool kids section with the younger workers, but once she actually talks to the people in the old ladies row she realizes they're just like her, with interesting pasts and plenty of life still in them.
  
  This was a Prime first read deal. I've had mixed experience with those; this one's a winner.
• 
  Jady Babin

  As soon as I saw this title, I knew it was a must-read for me! Suddenly I realized, maybe I’m NOT the only one thumping my way through this midlife thing!!! And, yes, it’s as funny as the cover looks.
  
  “There’s nothing wrong with being ourselves, and not the following generation, which still has as much to learn as we already know.”
  So many times I have said, “I’d like to go back to (insert age/situation), but only if I could know what I know now.” Let’s face it, without the knowledge, it’s not worth reliving (mostly).
  
  Laurie Notaro had me cracking up with her perspective on midlife, using words like “blap”, (belly plus lap), that are all too relatable. Ultimately, laughing at ourselves is where the power sits - somewhere between those blap rolls.
  
  When you need a break from heavier reading and want a good chuckle, this is the book to grab!
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• 
  Melanie Johnson

  I needed a laugh-out-loud book and this one fit the bill. A series of essays from Notaro about aging in a world where you don't feel seen if you are older (hence, the title). I totally related to this book and had several snort worthy moments. I really enjoyed it!
• 
  Maria Trying to write my book Park

  Laughter, Tears and Middle Age
  
  I absolutely adored Excuse Me While I Disappear. Laurie Notaro had me alternately laughing my guts up and crying my eyes out. I seriously highlighted almost half of the book.
  
  Being a MAW (Middle Aged Woman) myself, certainly added to my appreciation of her anecdotal accounts of her relationship with just about everyone.
  
  I found myself reading passages to my husband about how frustrated she was with her own husband and wondering why he didn't laugh. Gee, I wonder why?
  
  Do yourself a favor and read this book, it is a giant belly laugh with a four hanky ending. This gets my highest recommendation for the year.