Foster Kid: A Liverpudlian Childhood by Paul Barber

Foster Kid: A Liverpudlian Childhood Reviews

• 
  Mohammed P Aslam

  Only Fools and no Horses!
  
  The memoirs of Paul Barber, ‘The Foster Kid’ leaves a lasting impression, after all this is a fella who, in his adult years amused millions through his talents on TV and in the theatre and yet his childhood is littered with sorrow and sadness.
  
  From an early age, his life seems to have set him out to be a young charming, funny and often a playful street boy, being mischievous and naughty but never harming himself or others in the process. Unknown to Paul, things were about to turn terribly cruel for him and his family and through no fault of his own he finds himself in local authority care. His mother was gravely ill and there was no one else to care for the children.
  
  He asked one of the kids in the home, “what is a foster parent”, the reply he got was, “I think they are people who pretend to be your parents, if you haven’t got any of your own”. This reply was peculiarly baffling to him, but it did shape the rest of his time whilst he was in the care system. It made him reminisce about what he had lost, it reminded him of his mother’s love that was no longer there and it focussed his determination to not let this stop him from finding a way out of this nightmarish situation.
  
  Paul Barbers life in and out of care homes and foster families was a little like an unwanted uncle turning up for a family holiday, you never quite know what to do about the situation, whilst still trying to enjoy the time there. Paul Barber, soon after his mother’s passing, had no doubt suffered enormously. This left him with a sense of sullen loneliness and deep emotional isolation. He craved for love and affection from an early age but now he was left to mostly fend for himself. His brothers and sister were nearby but the relationship wasn’t as close as he would have liked, this was mostly due to the care system keeping them apart for far too long.
  
  The violence experienced in his life, wasn’t uncommon and for this reason the reality of it was almost an accepted part of his life style. Mary Grant his first foster mother clearly left a significant imprint on his mind which mostly consisted of hate. Consequently, it was this that drove the ambition in him to focus on what was important in his life. From his early years entering into care until he left the care home system, his daily chores were pretty much prearranged. He knew what to do, when to do it, which whom and what the punishment was if he failed to follow the rules.
  
  He did occasionally look back with some distain upon his childhood days whilst living in his first foster home. There was one or two such memories of a tin bath where he bathed twice a week and where Mrs Grant would wash him and his siblings with bleach to make them white and less of a darkie. During Christmas, they were made to blacken their faces with soot to entertain her friends and family and all this was described as a family game, a sinister game at that! These events had serious and significant undertones that would stay with Paul Barber for many years after.
  
  The book doesn’t portray any gestures of romanticism during his early years, as much of his time he was always trying to make sense about what was happening to him and why. One incident of child sex abuse opened his eyes to the vulnerable nature of his circumstances but even then, he wasn’t sure what that meant at such a young age without a parent who would love and protect you.
  
  It wasn’t until he left the care system that he fumbled around a bit and then found his route to celebrity, prominence and fame, although in the beginning this was limited in its effect.
  
  Overall the book is an enjoyable and informative piece of writing and brings both the horrors of care and the joys on youthfulness to the forefront. His writing displays the courage and the ambition he held deep inside him looking for an opportunity to excel whilst still keeping his inner self a secret from his siblings as much as from his foster carers.
  
  It wasn’t until he started on the route to celebrity, fame and fortune, that he came across his younger sister who he didn’t know he had. If this wasn’t enough of a shock to his delicate sensitivities, it was a short time later he met his mum’s twin sister for the first time, again, he didn’t know she existed either. His life was changing around him, chance opportunities, favours and good will gestures offered him the freedom to explore himself and what was around him.
  
  It was when he reached the theatres of the West End starting with a national tour with the theatre company that he began to love who he was and what he was becoming. His introduction to TV opened his life further to something he never expected that was ever going to happen to him, now he could show to his friends and family and all those foster families who he was and what he had achieved as an ex foster kid. This was very important to him, probably more than fame itself.
  
  The ex-Foster Kid was someone who suffered strife and troubles to achieve the heights of prominence especially in his many acting roles including Denzil in ‘Only Fools and Horses’ and in ‘The Full Monty’ where he won not only distinction but also won the hearts of millions.
• 
  Laura Prime

  A very frank look into the life of Paul Barber, growing up in foster care. It will make you laugh and make you cry but it will not allow you to stop reading, so set aside a full afternoon/evening of me time. You will thank yourself! A very compelling read that once you start you will stay with it till you close the back cover in your lap,make a jug of coffee and a tissue or two to hand 👏👏 Thank you for this insight Paul Barber.
• 
  Annie

  Quick read
• 
  Helen

  Read this book in under four hours. Such a sad childhood Paul had but he came through it with a sense of humour.n