My Killer Vacation by Tessa Bailey

My Killer Vacation Reviews

• 
  Jonathan

  me looking at my frog plushie: this book is bad
  
  
  I will never trust any of you ever again. You all are just lying to me. I will start scrolling through this website with my eyes closed. You posting a five star review? I ain't reading that. I'm not looking. It's all just a conspiracy to make me read bad books. I'm deleting my Goodreads so I'm not tempted by your fake reviews anymore. Who is paying you to deceit me? Hope you are at least making good bag with this cruel joke.
  
  
  i desperately want to know whether straight people are okay. cause wtf was sexy about this
  
  
  this was some insta love bullshit i tell you. myles was ready to rip her panties 0.0000000000001 seconds into meeting her. they talked about sex 0.00001 seconds into meeting. there's the possibility that i am too asexual to get it but... you all really look at someone who you have known for one millisecond and imagine being on all fours for them?? that's wild?
  
  Myles is like "I'm not gentle in bed and she needs that. Tenderness."
  He's known her for five minutes at this point. And I'm not even kidding. This isn't a joke. Literally five minutes. Are allosexuals okay???? He doesn't even know her goddamn name?????
  
  
  Taylor tells him that she likes dating boring finance guys in suits but also wants them to angry fuck her in bed.
  Who shares this ten minutes into a conversation with a stranger?
  Also they pick this point up several pages later when she is like "No-one ever gets my sexy kitten energy, maybe i need hook up panties and a more sexy vibe" and Myles is like "nah, you're fine" and she's like "You pick up on my big sexy kitten energy" and Myles starts salivating and is like "oh god, oh fuck i do" LIKE OBVIOUSLY???? BECAUSE YOU TOLD HIM????
  
  which brings me to another point: why doesn't she just talk to her finance guys about wanting to be killed during sex??? it's not that hard?? she could tell Myles five seconds into their first conversation? just tell your partners?? have you heard of Communication??? straight people?? are you good??
  
  
  Myles is so ... not attractive? He steals her panties and she's like cool with it. With this stranger stealing her underwear fifteen minutes after meeting.
  He also keeps going on about how she is wife material and wouldn't want to have rough sex. I didn't know wife material means being vanilla? Different people like different things? You don't have to dress the part to enjoy rough sex?
  Also him constantly going on about how she is "someone else's wife". She's her own fucking person what are you on about? Why make everything about her about a man that doesn't even exist?
  
  
  One time pretty early on, during their first conversation, he just randomly licks her stomach? The writing didn't even mention him being on the same level as her stomach - which would be some way down considering she is apparently tiny and he's huge. So what i was imagining is him just stopping mid conversation and kneeling before her to lick her stomach. Who does that??? Also why, if all he thinks about how he shouldn't fuck her and then he just goes and licks her stomach?
  
  Imagine a man you've known for five minutes licking your stomach. I don't care how hot he allegedly is - I'm running.
  
  
  they later have a fight and he is like "stop strutting that ass so sexy" and she is like "are you saying, i'm asking for it" and he's like "i would never but you are clearly offering" - this isn't any less disgusting and rapey than if he said she was asking for it? wtf?
  
  
  at another point he acts like they are soulmates because he was choking her but they get interrupted and quickly look at each other and nod their agreement that they are still cool. and they say true love is dead
  
  it definitely is though
  
  
  also: "Well let me clarify. I can see your tight asshole and nothing could stop that from being cute, but the rest of you? Now you're a girl who likes to fuck dirty."
  i have so many questions
  
  
  honestly every minute i had to spend in Myle's head gave me a headache and took years from my life
  
  
  the writing also ain't it and i have zero hopes for this murder mystery tbh. i should have learned my lesson with Verity because thriller/mystery and romance do not mix well
  
  
  TL:DR: this review has so many question marks because i do not understand the good ratings this book is getting. dnf at page 78. i simply cannot do this anymore.
  also the fact that this came out on my birthday is a hate crime against me personally
• 
  chan ☆

  not super into the whole greasy older man obsessed with younger heroine's big ole tiddies thing
  
  i mean sure, there are exceptions. nobody's perfect, i have wildly varied taste. but as a rule of thumb, if the romance is purely based on physical attraction and a man stealing my lace underwear... eh. not sure it's something that's gonna win me over.
• 
  ♡tanaz♡

  5+ stars ✨
  
  LADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO TESSA BAILEYS BEST BOOK EVER 🤰🏽
  
  I've been in the weirdest life slump ever recently. I'm reading but at such a slow pace, I find good books but it's not enough, every time I came on goodreads I simply logged back out, writing reviews? what even is that anymore? but this book said FUCK THAT GET YOUR ASS UP AND WORK TANAZ BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE NOBODY WANTS TO WORK THESE DAYS!!!
  
  
  
  I haven't had the best time with previous TB new releases, it seems like everyone and their dog loved
  It Happened One Summer, but not me. Although I liked both main characters, their choices/how the book progressed in the final third of the book weren't enjoyable for me. But this book right here? This belongs in the TB hall of fame.
  
  I s2g if Jessa Kane actually sat down and tried to write a full-length book - it would be this, this quote literally confirms
  Misha's theory of JK being TB for me 🤣
  
  >❝You’re too sweet between the legs to say please, Taylor. You just ask for Daddy and I’ll do the rest.” Yeah. And doesn’t that word make her clench like a motherfucker?❞ - before you daddy kink haters come for this book - HE ONLY SAYS IT ONCE 👺 she never calls him daddy. now sit down fooh 💅🏽
  
  ✨ The Setting ✨
  
  Miss Taylor Bassey is a 2nd-grade teacher who decides to take her heartbroken brother (he's a panda caretaker, whose panda just died, #RIPBARTHOLOMEW) on vacation to Cape Cod. Upon arrival, minutes into settling into their rental home, Taylor spies two peepholes in the bathroom which is creepy in itself, but it gets worse when she goes downstairs to find a dead body... which happens to be none other than THE PROPERTY OWNER!!! *dun dun dunnnn* Our little Taylor is a crime podcast enthusiast, having listened to her favorite show for 7 years, she takes it upon herself to do a little investigating as she's not satisfied with the police's suspect.
  
  On the other side, the sister of the murder victim hires a bounty hunter to privately investigate the case, and in enters the scene one Myles Sumner, a 6'5 mean machine nomad that lives by his own rules. When Taylor finds Myles, not only do sparks fly but so do her gut instincts that there is more to this case and the two inevitably end up working together (much to Myles's dismay) whilst he desperately tries to stay out of Taylor's red hook up panties.
  
  ✨ The Tropes ✨
  🔪 Age Gap - (H is 34, h is 26)
  🔪 Sunshine x Grumpy
  🔪 Murder Mystery
  🔪 Dual Praise Kink
  🔪 Insta-Lust
  🔪 Vacation/Small Town Setting
  🔪 Rom-Com
  
  👺 You already know the drill BUT SPOILERS AHEAD PEOPLE!!! 👺
  
  ✨ The Lead Detectives ✨
  
  Taylor Bassey
  Our sunshine girl, Taylor might be small (but she is actually the tallest at work 💅🏽) but boy does her personality pack a punch, she has to be my favorite TB heroine yet!
  
  

  ❝Fine. Be coy about it, Mr.…”
  “Don’t worry about my name.”
  That throws her off for a second, almost like she’s disappointed. But finally, she shrugs. “I just thought you might like to speak with me.” With a prim little once-over, she turns and heads back across the street. “Since I’m the one who found the body and all.”
  “Come back here.”
  “I don’t think I will.”
  “Half pint.”
  “I have a name.”
  “Come back here and tell it to me, then.❞

  
  
  I love dialogue like this, just something about it has me giggling and blushing like a lunatic. I don't even care that its insta-lust, I usually hate that trope and prefer slow burns but TB really writes this trope so well. The tension, the will they won't they, the final explosion when it becomes too much? >>> inject that shit into my veins.
  
  At first, this girl was testing my patience from the way she babied her grown-ass 23-year-old brother. I just wanted her to shut the fuck up, she made Jude sound as if he was an INFANT that needed to be breastfed, have his diaper changed, and carried around everywhere.
  
  

  ❝Jude mutters, falling back against the cushions, visibly exhausted. Poor baby never got to finish his nap. I need to find him a safe bed for the night.❞

  - YOUR BROTHER HAS 2 FUNCTIONING LEGS HE CAN FIND HIS OWN DAMN BED.
  
  
  
  

  ❝Jude is amazing at anything water-related,” I say, patting his arm. “There’s no reason we have to let a broken window ruin his vacation.”
  “Our vacation,” my brother corrects me.
  “Yes, that’s what I meant.❞

  - please this girl is so down bad for her brother that she forgot who PAID for the vacation 😭 petition to change Taylor's career into being a caretaker for her brother.
  
  

  ❝Jude chokes and I jump to my feet, prepared to perform the Heimlich maneuver.❞

  - the more I read tho the more I just fell in love with her, please this is the funniest thing ever and reminds me of my mum who thinks if I sneeze/cough once = covid 😭
  
  I'm totally not bullying a character for loving and appreciating her brother so much, maybe my own lack of siblings/brother is fueling my jealousy 🥲 No but Jude and Taylor were so wholesome, they acted more like best friends than siblings 🥰
  
  Taylor's character growth was one of my favorite things about this book. So far she's lived a very safe and boring life, with her routine of being a teacher and dating boring financial bros who are 2 pump vanilla chumps in the bedroom.
  
  But this vacation showed Taylor how brave she can be.
  
  When she found the dead body she didn't panic, she used her intuition and found some evidence, she put herself in Myles's path and forced him to notice her (although she didn't have to try very hard, her bikini top and shorts did all the talking), she took control of her own sexuality and demanded Myles to show her what it's like to have the type of sex she dreamed of. She never once pushed Myles to change instead, she allowed him to open his own eyes and dream of more! Not to mention this girl was comedy gold, I just loved her with my whole heart.
  
  Taylor as soon as she met Myles
  
  
  Not to compare Taylor with Piper from IHOS, but my main issue with that book and Piper was, how amazing her personality and character growth was going up until the 3rd act conflict where Piper reverted back to her old selfish self, meaning all that "growth" just went to waste.
  
  None of that happened here, there was no dramatic conflict between the couple, yeah Myles had issues but Taylor fought for him and simultaneously supported him regardless of whether his final decision would've left her heartbroken.
  
  My fav Taylor moment -
  

  ❝I’m going to drive to the end of the block, away from the house,” I murmur shakily. As soon as I reach the stop sign, I whip a U-turn and floor it back in the direction of the house. “I didn’t say I would stay there.❞

  - she's an icon and i won't tolerate any slander. She said if my man dies I'll be dying WITH him 💅🏽
  
  Myles Sumner
  
  7 things I hate LOVE about you (sing this to the tune of the iconic miley cyrus song):
  
  🎶 The seven things I LOVE about MYLES
  He's 6'5 with an XXL cock, beats up mean neighbors,
  and lets Taylor stand on his sock (technically boots but sock rhymed)
  he threatens other guys to stay away
  and knows the meaning of the word stop hooray,
  he protects her and acts like a bodyguard,
  with her own dildo he fucked her hard
  Myles wants to be with Taylor I kNOWWWWW
  AND THE 7TH THINGGGGG I HATE THE MOST THAT YOU DOOOOO
  YOU MADE ME LOVE YOUUUUU 🎶
  
  *can I get a round of applause*
  
  This man can do no wrong in my eyes.
  
  I put leftover Chinese food in the fridge. *Myles proceeds to eat it* I come home after work and it's gone. Anyone else and I would cry, but Myles? I will cook him more Chinese food from scratch! That tiny portion is not enough, he needs more sustenance. He robs me blind and kills my immediate family? OH no Myles i'm SO sorry my family did you wrong! Let me shock them all back to life so you can kill them all over again 🙏🏽
  
  I am on my knees, with no blanket or pillow on the floor to give me cushioning, for this man.
  
  I've never felt more pregnant and fertile after finishing a book than this one. Lately, smut has been so uninspiring in books, I find myself skipping couples' 2nd-4th sex scenes, especially because they feel so repetitive. But here I ate up eVERY SINGLE DIRTY FILTHY NASTY THING that slipped out from Myles's tongue. Hottest TB man ever, Brendan Taggart who? Your fishy man could NEVER. Myles gets hard from Taylor's existence period. That girl could breathe and Myles's cock would shoot up to the heavens.
  
  

  ❝Every time you use this thing, remember that my cock is bigger,” I growl against her ear. “And I’m somewhere out there, thinking of you while I stroke it.❞

  - someone plan my baby shower! I'm due to give birth approximately 9 months from now 🤰🏽
  
  
  
  

  ❝You’re going to be so big inside me, aren’t you? Big and mean,” she whispers against my mouth. Then she dips down and scrapes my neck with her teeth, licking the sting away and colors—fucking colors are exploding behind my eyes. “You’re going to keep me safe and make it hurt a little at the same time, aren’t you?❞

  - dual praise kink is the best thing in existence, sometimes I want to be the good girl but sometimes I deserve to be mommy too 😌
  
  

  ❝Would we fuck with the express intent of getting her pregnant? Christ. That would be…
  Don’t think about how satisfying it would be. Don’t think about looking her in the eye when I come and knowing it serves a purpose beyond physical pleasure. Don’t think of her wrapping her thighs tighter, tilting her hips and praising me for my healthy swimmers.
  Unless they aren’t healthy.
  Then we’ll have to see a doctor. Do the whole fertility thing—
  Dear God, how did I get to a fertility doctor?❞

  - WE LOVE AN UNHINGED MAN WHO OVERTHINKS ABOUT THE FUTURE, TRYING TO ADD 2+2 AND SOMEHOW GETTING 800 🙏🏽🙏🏽😭😭
  
  This man deserves the absolute world.
  
  At first, he came across as a harsh asshole, who made it seem as if he had a failed detective career, marriage, and overall has no interest in forming healthy relationships seeing as he hasn't spoken to his parents or brother in 3 years since "the incident". But actually the more we got to know Myles, the more we saw his personality, he is so protective of the ones he loves. He guarded Taylor day and night, helped Jude when he was stung by jellyfish because he could see how much it upset Taylor to see her brother hurt, and always put her sexual needs first and was not just blue balled but seriously purple/blackballed.
  
  
  
  *can we just get a moment of silence for all of Myles missed orgasms*
  
  Never laughed harder in my life than them getting interrupted every time they came close to having sex.
  
  First, they almost died because the real killer smashed a buoy through the window of the room they were about to fuck in, then secondly, they were about to fuck in a cave when Jude gets stung by a jellyfish so they have to rush to go help him, then finally, Myles followed her to a sex shop and proceeds to fuck her with the dildo she bought against a car but stop when they hear a DOOR SLAM BEHIND THEM KJSDKDSJKSD MY POOR, POOR MAN!!! SAVE HIMMMMMM.
  
  Myles growth was amazing to watch, we saw firsthand how quickly he fell for Taylor, we saw him gain confidence in himself and realize that what happened in "the incident" shouldn't prevent him from achieving his dreams, whilst also realizing he can't protect everyone and everything, all he can do is try. We saw him reunite with his brother, and follow/grovel for the girl of his dreams to give her the future she deserves 🥲
  
  

  ❝When we walk into the ice cream shop, I barely resist the impulse to shout, “Everything. Give her one of everything.” I want to buy her a scoop of each flavor. Hell, I want to buy her the whole fucking shop and hang a sign on the front with her name on it.❞

  - me WHEN??? god I see the things you do for others... WHY NOT ME HUH? PICK ME. CHOOSE ME.
  
  
  
  

  ❝We experienced more in five days than most people experience in a year together. We got to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and fears and dreams. Fast. And I’m drawn to every single piece of you. Everything that makes you Taylor. By the grace of God, you’re drawn to me, too, or you wouldn’t be halfway into my lap right now in a McDonald’s parking lot. Wave at the nice family, sweetheart.❞

  - this entire book only spanned over 5 days but it just goes to show if you write insta-lust well it just becomes believable. I felt their love and I definitely felt their sexual chemistry all the way to my own womb.
  
  ps - idk who told this man he has heartburn, sweetheart I think your heart burned near Taylor because of love, not INDIGESTION put those antacids away!!! 😭
  
  me throughout this whole book trying to figure out who killed oscar stanley
  
  
  me finding out who the real killer(s) were
  
  
  ✨ Closing Remarks ✨
  
  This was the most fun murder mystery romcom I have ever had the pleasure of reading (it may also be my first tho skksks).
  
  I loved the main characters, the fast-paced plot, the smut, the range of suspects, the writing was objectively TB's best compared to her other romcoms and older work, I feel like TB has worked hard over the years to establish herself as a great and reliable romcom author. For those of you who LOVED IHOS, I think you will definitely like this too.
  
  Myles and Brendan are literally twin flames 🫂 imagine them both in a room together? no one's ovaries would be safe.
• 
  Warda

  You know what? Your mum.
  
  I hate reading crappy books. I’m pessimistic enough as it is in real life. The only thing I’m stupidly optimistic about are books. And I’ve become way too attuned to my taste that reading terrible books is not all that common for me.
  
  But it happens anyway. And whenever it does, I just become irrationally irritable. Because betrayal. I feel cheated. I’m putting my trust in the author to deliver good stories. I’m trusting myself to select the type of stories that work for me. It’s all a fuckin’ gamble.
  
  And that trust feels extra broken when it’s an author who usually works for me.
  
  I didn’t even go into this with high expectations. Me expectations were neutral.
  This book, however, is theatrical. From beginning to end. And quite frankly, that’s not what I want to be fed for almost 300 pages, especially when there was hardly any substance present.
  
  Not only is it theatrical, our main characters are very horny for each other. 🤭
  
  Which I should not be complaining about.
  
  But. Some parts of this just read sleazy… alright, a lot of parts did.
  
  I mean, this all depends on personal taste - and no shaming here - but I was cringing during some of the sex scenes we got. And that is the very opposite of what I should be feeling. Plus, I hardly ever cringe. I’m all for writing what you want, however you want it.
  But it was just getting too much and I don’t even believe in too much.
  
  Do you sense my confusion? 😵‍💫
  
  Myles has a dirty mouth and thoughts on him, which is very typical for the types of hero’s Tessa Bailey writes. We like that.
  
  But, again. Too much.
  
  “Don’t think of her wrapping her thighs tighter, tilting her hips and praising me for my healthy swimmers.”
  
  I’m sorry, what? 🤨
  
  Should I be turned on by this? Am I rooting for this relationship? Did Tessa Bailey write this because the supposed overall tone of this book is seemingly over-the-top, thus it was done for humour’s sake?
  
  Someone clarify. Because it read like amateur porn.
  
  Our lovely hero also proceeds to steal her underwear within the first chapter or two of meeting one another.
  
  Cute. 🫠
  
  Now call me crazy, but I will condone this level of fucked-up behaviour in a dark romance. But not a contemporary one. Get it together and get it right.
  
  These characters lacked backstory, the writing felt choppy, the murder mystery was overshadowed because of how horny they were.
  
  I feel hollowed out. Am I now proceeding with caution when it comes to Tessa Bailey? Yes. The trust has somewhat been fractured. 🥲
  
  Plus, the 1-star rating is mainly for the headache it gave me once I finished reading it. 🤕
  No book has a right to do that.
• 
  Yun

  Huh. I guess I've finally found a Tessa Bailey book I don't like.
  
  When I heard that one of my favorite romance authors was going to write a steamy romance and murder mystery combo, I admit I about drooled in anticipation. I imagined sparks and sizzle and detecting galore. But alas, it wasn't that. And maybe this was just a case where my expectations were too high, so reality had nowhere to go but down.
  
  Almost from the very first page, it felt like something was a little bit off. Tessa Bailey has always had an eminently readable style, and that's part of the charm of her writing. But this story didn't have that. There were many moments where sentences felt awkward or didn't quite flow together, and scenes were repetitive and drawn out. It's as if the story was rushed out the door without going through the proper rounds of editing.
  
  Regarding the romance, I just couldn't get jive with either of the two main characters. They both felt like caricatures instead of real people, with Taylor being timid but secretly wanting rough sex and Myles beating himself up over one teeny mistake while stalking and salivating over Taylor. I want to swoon over my romances, but this pairing only left me creeped out.
  
  If you read Tessa Bailey, you know her steam factor is high. But the raunchiness in here is so in your face and over the top that it comes across as cartoony rather than hot. There were many moments where it felt like I was reading porn in written form (complete with keeping stolen panties in pockets and referring to the guy as "Daddy"). I enjoy a good sizzle as much as the next gal, but this wasn't it.
  
  And when it came to that murder mystery—the reason I was so excited for this to begin with—I was disappointed there too. I wanted clues and suspects and red herrings. Instead, the story just eventually revealed the guilty party, without any sort of buildup.
  
  After reading seven Tessa Bailey books, I guess coming across my first dud was only a matter of time. And all things considered, that's not a bad record. I'll certainly continue to read Tessa Bailey in the future, but this book is going in the donation pile posthaste.
  
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~
  See also, my thoughts on:
  
  Window Shopping
  
  Bellinger Sisters
  
  It Happened One Summer
  
  Hook, Line, and Sinker
  
  Hot & Hammered
  
  Fix Her Up
  
  Love Her or Lose Her
  
  Tools of Engagement
  ~~~~~~~~~~~~
  
  
• 
  mia

  why does the cover look like acotar fanart😭
  edit: there’s a new cover now and it’s amazing
• 
  jessica

  romantic suspense is my all time favourite romance subgenre, so i was excited to see how TB would handle it. shes the queen of romcom banter, but can she do high stakes murder investigations??
  
  and the answer is… no. not really. hahaha. i mean, the suspense elements of this story are so severely lacking. it obviously takes a back seat to the lustfest that is myles and taylor. and when they revealed who was behind it all, well, i just rolled my eyes.
  
  that being said, i adored this. its a fun and cute beachy summer read. it doesnt take itself too seriously and its lighthearted enough that you can breeze right through this. so not a dealbreaker that half of the plot wasnt as engaging as i would have liked.
  
  more TB standalones, please!
  
  ↠ 3.5 stars
• 
  SK

  “From the first second I
  saw you to the last second I’m given. Stay with me. Watch me prove it.” ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
  
  Swoon worthy and deliciously spicy🥵🥵
  
  ✔️Age gap
  ✔️Grumpy x sunshine
  ✔️Dual POV
  ✔️Small town setting
  ✔️Murder mystery
  ✔️HEA
  ✔️Witty banter
  ✔️Insta lust to love (didn't like that)
  ✔️Did I mention the SPICE (It's off the charts)
  
  It's my first Tessa Bailey book and I absolutely adored it. I see what the hype is about. This book is pretty close to perfection. I liked how fast pace it was, never a dull moment. The murder mystery kept me intrigued and the romance had me feeling butterflies 🥰
  
  The characters Taylor and Myles are amazing and their chemistry is sizzling hot 🔥🔥
  
  Taylor although a bit quirky, is quite humourous and likable. She perceives herself as the serious, responsible type adult but reality is something else (not in an annoying way). She's a total romantic at heart and doesn't shy away from what she wants. But the way she babies her brother (who's twenty three btw) was a bit much.
  
  "Being hurt only makes me need you more."😭
  
  Myles is simply hot. He's the grump to Taylor's sunshine, which of course means he's a total softy at heart. The moment he sees Taylor, he wanted her. And boy did he fell for her hard. He was practically more romantic than Taylor. I thought the way he called her "Half pint" was too cute.
  
  "She makes me a better man. A better human. She makes me so much better."🥺
  
  The only thing that didn't work for me is that I'm a sucker for slow burns and this one was insta lust which doesn't resonate well with me. But I must say the transition from insta lust to love is well executed.
  
  If you are looking to read something fast paced and light hearted with lots of smut, this is your book. I highly recommend it. I couldn't keep this book down and basically devoured it. Need I say more?😉
• 
  Larissa Cambusano

  4.75 ⭐️ this was the light and funny read I needed… but make it spicy & murder mystery. I wanted a quick and captivating book and this hit the perfect spot. Taylor & Myles were SO MFF FUNNY, the way I cackled the entire time??? and their banter & spice? unmatched. i’m not a fan of insta-love, but this book requires an exception 😙✌🏻
  
  “what is a princess cut” <3
  
  ps. if taylor’s brother gets his own story… i’ll RUN 🏃🏻‍♀️
• 
  Cristiina♡Reads

  A bounty hunter & a school teacher... two opposites that make one hot rom-com that makes you fall in love, laugh and cry in the best of ways...
  
  
  
  Never will I ever... ever... say anything bad about Tessa. Her writing speaks for itself. And no matter how many books she keeps on writing, and what tropes she writes, I will always be reading them and fall hard. Over and over again. Taylor and Myles here are no exception. Not one tiny, hot, scorching, panty stealing, bit! My gosh, when I tell you that the spice is there... THE SPICE IS THERE🌶!! And alongside the murder mystery aspect to it, Tessa always brings the term rom-com to the best level.
  
  Taylor being the typical yet not typical elementary school teacher that she is, always seems to play it safe when it comes to dating. And her obsession with true crime podcasts is what makes her the type of quirky and funny heroine I always seem to enjoy to read. With a crime taking place in the air b&b that Taylor and her brother are staying at, they meet the broody and swoony Myles. Even though he is uncertain of getting her help, he also does not seem to be able to stay away from her. This book is the summer read, the one book you don't want to miss out on. 'Cause Myles & Taylor are the best of opposites that just blend together as one in such a sweet and organic way;
  

  "Even if we walk away, we’ll still belong to each other..."

  
  Every single word, every single scene was the best and so much more. I cannot wait to see what else Tessa has in store for this world. I know she already has hinted on Taylor's brother having his own story. And I believe it will be an MM romance which has me even more hyped!
  
  ARC kindly provided by Tessa in exchange for an honest review...
  
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• 
  Lacey (laceybooklovers)

  THIS LITERALLY HAD ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD MULTIPLE TIMES. ON A PLANE. Honestly it was the perfect vacation read and I'm gonna need Tessa Bailey to give us more cozy mystery romances! Also, if you love sunshine x grumpy romances, you will adore this. He's this giant, grouchy bounty hunter and she's a sweet grade-school teacher who, against his will, joins in on his murder mystery solving. Their meet-cute was HILARIOUS and I just adored them together!
• 
  booksnpenguins (wingspan matters)

  I solved the crime.
  My vibes were killed.
  Culprit: read on.
  
  
  I really wanted to finish this book so I could write a proper rant-view for it, but I don't hate myself enough to force myself to go through another 70% of it, so...DNF, meet My Killer Vacation.
  
  Ironically, I'm kinda glad this turned into a trainwreck immediately, because I can only imagine how frustrated I'd be if my expectations of this got too high because of a decent beginning, only to have them disintegrated later on.
  
  There are a tons of things I could list that made this (the bit I've read, anyway) so unenjoyable, but I think the biggest chunks of guilt belong to the mystery plot (pretend I just used the most gargantuan air quotes you've ever seen, here) and the main characters.
  The mystery aspect of this book is absurd. I mean, for me, autenticity is not a requirement when a thriller is paired up with romance, but I expect my mystery romance novels to at least be believable.
  I expect the author to try, at least.
  We all love amateur detectives solving crimes; we all like to pretend we'd do the same if we were in the situation, but this was a level above Pretty Little Liars in terms of common citizens turning Sherlock Holmes and trespassing yellow tape like it's limbo time every time they feel like poking their nose into a crime scene.
  Because of course, crime scenes and investigation files are known to be open to anyone who wants to lend a hand.
  
  Taylor is the most immature main character I've encountered lately. She's naive, childish, and if I was the parent of one of her students, I'd be very concerned about my child's safety and mental state.
  I know she's just fictional and the sole product of a writer who cleary didn't bother doing many research about the thriller aspect of their story, but it seems to me the romance part could have used some additional work, as well.
  Which brings us to the main course, also known as Mr Male Main Character.
  Myles is a douche. Plain and simple.
  And a creep.
  From the very first moment we meet him, we get a graphic idea of what we're getting ourselves into.
  This bad boy parks his motorcycle and his tattoos right in front of our delicate flower (becaue of course she's impressed by the tattoos and the bike and the broody aura and the massive mountain of muscles he OBVIOUSLY is sporting)'s rental house, sees her, and immediately thinks "I got to open her up like an oyster".
  So classy, dude.
  Really makes me wanna throw my panties at your face and let you go full korean buffet on my lower parts.
  He's got a sudden nickname for her, too, because she's oh so tiny and he's oh so big he could pick Half Pint up like a little bird.
  We readers are immediately informed that he's NEVER felt like this before. Never been so attracted to another woman, never wanted another oyster like he craves hers.
  We believe you, Myles.
  
  We believed you especially after you picked up her panties just because.
  That really sealed the deal for me and also made me gag a little.
  
  Flash forward to a couple chapters later, when Delicate Flowers and Broody Creep start spending a lot of time together -because it's perfectly normal for Delicate Flower to parade around crime scenes like she gifted Horatio Caine his first pair of sunglasses-, and two seconds after they've met, she starts going all femme fatale on him, rebuking to his provocations like a proud teenager who just learnt how to flirt and feeling cool about it.
  She goes on a totally out of character oversharing mode and tells him all about her sexual fantasies out of nowhere and for no reason in particular other than the author obviously wanted us to feel the tension building.
  Oh, I felt the tension alright, only it was that of my libido leaving my body.
  
  Broody Creep is no better.
  He goes all alphasshole ten minutes after they've introduced each other and I'd lie if I said the way he grew super proective of her, so quickly, didn't make me roll my eyes.
  The will-they-won't-they bullshit we were lead to endure by his POV was exausting because poor fucker was on a spiral that convinced no one but himself; he was like "she's so innocent and lovely and she doesn't deserve a man like me."
  1) NO ONE deserves a creep like you;
  2) YOU'RE LITERALLY HERE TO SOLVE A MURDER, BITCH, STOP JERKING OFF AND DO YOUR JOB.
  His dirty talk made my skin crawl, and I can assure you, I've read a lot of disturbing books in my life, but a little few things are as concerning as a slimy guy written like he's hot.
  Dude, no. Listen to your inner Elsa and let the creep go.
  Or, at least, admit you're morally questionable.
  That would 100% make the difference.
  
  I've stopped reading after they started getting too fond of each and the unsexiest dirty talk made an appearence once again, so I can't tell you if it got better after this.
  On a hunch, I'd go with no, but I'm a practical person who's also a closeted dreamer, and I like to think we're all redeemable, somehow.
  Even Broody Creeps, if they work hard for it.
  
  
  
  
  
  (Except Myles and Miles from
  Ugly Love)
• 
  aly ☆彡 (slowly catching up)

  Disappointed but not surprised. Things just aren't looking good since my least favorite Tessa Bailey books have started to outnumber my favorite Tessa Bailey books.
  
  In all fairness, I do think Tessa Bailey had the potential to write a good mystery romance as this combination is not something we often had. I started the book with the hope that I will come around to enjoy this especially after being so disappointed with
  Hannah and Fox's story — owing to the fact that Tessa Bailey knows how to hook her reader. It always felt like you're being enchanted and this book is no less the same.
  
  Unfortunately, like many others, she is married to using the same tropes in her pairings which is not my cup of tea. The romance had to go rack and ruin it because I hate insta-lust with a passion. I love to see when people have to work for it; though I find some of them fitting or refinedly done in her past works. I was counting on Bailey to draw up a layout of the premise instead of just going off with the dirty talks and sexy times, where more and more the mystery seems like an afterthought.
  
  While I do find Myles and Taylor delightful, I only come around to it at the end of the book. The murder mystery at hand was supposed to allow readers to see them outside of a completely romantic context but it was so hard to hit it off with them at the first start with Myles' lewd thoughts and alpha male behavior that always come off as demanding. Like, I know we are doing grumpy-sunshine here but thanks, I've met better Tessa Bailey's hero. And Taylor? is sweet, but also as scatterbrained. Her sudden objective of self-discovery by deciding to investigate a murder case did not sit well with what was supposed to be and what was conveyed.
  
  That being said, the romance didn't win me and needed more time. It felt rushed, and balancing the whole murder to be solved was difficult. Some books contain both plot and sensual sequences, but this one contained only steamy scenes with no plot. Not to mention the continual interruptions and push-pull after almost-fuck moments irritate me. The only lovable addition to the book would be Taylor's brother and that pretty much wraps it up.
  
  Conclusively, this wasn't bad but it wasn't the best either. I needed to start setting low expectations so I will be less let down the next time.
• 
  annie

  ➳ 1 star
  
  
  dnf @ 25%
  
  guys… why??
• 
  Mareeva

  3.5 stars
  
  The grinch who hates rom-coms has left the building for tonight. This was just a fat load of wholesome, OTT, harmless fun.
  
  No one can argue when I say Myles must've been inspired by this guy💀:
  
  
  
  
  Okay fine, the grinch still has one foot in the door because the dirty talk and the smut were not for me😬 I'm sorry. The tingles simply vanished the moment Myles opened his mouth.
  
  AND holy hell, if y'all thought the stars are against
  Tory and Darius??? THINK THE FUCK AGAIN. Cause the gods, the stars, and all the prophets hate these two with a power of a 1000 suns judging by the amount of times they were interrupted.
  
  PS:
  Misha and
  Tanaz....you were right....This is the face of Jessa Kane...
  
  #TeamTessaKane I'd know that writing anywhere.
• 
  Leonie

  "I´d take a bullet between the eyes before I raised a hand to you, Taylor. The fact that you have to spend a second in pain makes me want to die. Are those the kind of words you´re talking about?"
  
  This is a two POV book, told by the POV´s of Myles and Taylor.
  
  I liked Taylor a lot. She has that lady in the streets, freak in the sheets thing going for her and I love it. I loved how honest Taylor and Myles were with each other and how they communicated openly. Myles was honest and kind and he really gives the whole softie at heart vibes. I really liked their chemistry, the sexual tension was really good and the sex scenes were HOT.
  This is more of a insta-lovish trope but I didn´t mind it that much here, we still got a bit of tension out of it.
  
  I liked the side characters, although there were a bit few. I especially loved Jude, he was an amazing brother to Taylor and it felt like he was also her best friend in that way, because no other friends of Jude are being mentioned. I also liked the introduction of their childhood friend, although he somehow vanished after a few pages.
  
  I liked the plot to this. A murder mystery combined with a romance are normally almost always a hit. I loved that Myles is a bounty hunter, it felt like something a bit different and new in comparison to all the cop romances. I liked the mystery part to it, I was suspicous of two different characters and I kept guessing along with Taylor. The pacing of the book was okay, although it is more fast paced, I definitely wouldn´t have minded if the book was a couple pages longer. I also don´t really agree with the representation of mental health in here.
  
  Overall it was a fun, quick read that I definitely enjoyed. Also the cover of this is just beautiful.
  
  trigger warnings: murder, kidnapping, trauma
• 
  Matilda

  4.5 stars ☀️
  
  nothing is more satisfying than when a book you’ve been mentally hyping up for months, works out. the way this was funny, hot and had a great plot?? it almost feels impossible for a rom-com
  
  tropes:
  ⇾ murder mystery
  ⇾ dual praise kink
  ⇾ grumpy/sunshine
  ⇾ age-gap (26h/34H)
  ⇾ bounty hunter/2nd grade teacher
  
  nah tessa bailey really handed me a book that has every trope i loved and thought she could get away with it ✋🏻
  
  does this book have:
  insta-lust? ✔️
  insta-love? ✔️
  was i able to find one fuck to give, despite hating insta-anything? NOPE 😤
  
  
  
  please, the way
  tanaz asked me, while i was reading this, if i liked brendan (from
  it happened one summer) or myles better and i go…“who’s brendan?”
  
  my mind completely washed every trace of brendan the second myles popped his first antacid 😌
  
  myles summer (H) meets taylor (h) when she discovers the body of her temporary landlord in the vacation home she was renting. myles was hired by the victims brother-in-law (also myles’s friend) to investigate the murder.
  
  myles did this out of a favor, being that he was a former detective (turned bounty hunter). taylor basically interjects herself into his investigation, leaving him literally no choice 🥰
  
  when i tell you this man fell into lust the moment he saw her—
  
  

  I’m lusting after this stranger in the heart of Middle Class Vacationville wondering what her nipples would look like in the sunshine, all licked up in my spit.

  
  
  it was so cute watching him get annoyed at the thought of her being married, which caused him to interrogate her on who she was on vacation with (it’s her brother). poor baby was confusing his heartburn with jealousy 🥹😌
  
  i’m obsessed with the way he discovered her red, hook-up panties and stole them because he hated the idea of her wearing them for anyone else. but also, the way he walks around with them in his pocket and tries to talk himself into returning them to her—
  
  

  “Going to return them. You are giving them back.”
  So she can wear them for another man?
  Suddenly, my jaw feels like it’s about to snap.

  
  
  the smut was so fucking hot. the way the dirty talk had me blushing at times. plus the praise kink from BOTH sides?! someone call 911 🪦
  
  ⇢ “Get that mouth away from me before I fuck it again.”
  
  ⇢ “Work it tight, baby. Baby. Perfect for me. Jesus Christ. Don’t you ever get hurt on me again. Don’t you ever.”
  
  ⇢ “You make me feel safe and protected…But at the same time, you make me feel like I can protect myself. Isn’t that kind of amazing?” She lays kisses along my jawline. “Aren’t you kind of amazing?”
  She feels it.
  The way my cock swells over her praise.
  
  ⇢ “Good. That’s a good girl.”
  
  
  
  this doesn’t even account for the fact that he’s so protective over her 😭 he sleeps on her porch to protect her from the killer that’s on the loose, he jumped onto top of her to prevent her from getting hit by a flying object, he freaks out at the THOUGHT of her getting hurt, period.
  
  

  I swear to God if another car comes within ten feet of us, I’m going to go fucking ballistic.
  
  — him getting nervous about taking her on his motorcycle 😌

  
  
  but also the way he would simp after her omfghdjfuwjx. since he’s always on the road bounty hunting and she has a stable job along with him not thinking he’s relationship material…he gets these confusing thoughts about a future with her. the way letting go of her hand was like climbing Mt. Everest—
  
  

  I have to let go of her hand to reach for my wallet, but I keep an eye on it as I pay for the ice cream, so I can collect it again as soon as possible.

  
  
  
  
  WHY DO I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES RN 😭😭😭 THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT EVER.
  
  did i forgot to mention this whole romance occurs over 5 days? idk the way TB wrote this, it felt likes it took place over years. myles and taylor fell for each other in such a natural way that i fully believed it was possible for insta-love to exist.
  
  how can insta-love not exist when myles cums before taylor because she admitted she could ‘love him so easily’. i was freaking out because i expected him to do the cliché 'pulling away from her because he scared of feelings blah blah' but then he thinks this—
  
  

  I could love you so easily, too. I already do.

  
  
  myles’s characters growth is so amazing. i love the way taylor made him a better person, but also made him realize that he’s better than one mistake he made while he was a detective.
  
  

  She makes me a better man. A better human. She makes me so much better.

  
  
  taylor is also so crazy protective and sweet, especially to her brother. at first i wasn't sure how I felt about her, but her sunny personalty was the perfect contrast to myles's cloudy disposition 💖
  
  the killer
  
  it was almost too obvious for i, a professional in watching true crime documentaries like i'm getting paid to do it
  
  
  
  honorable mentions:
  
  this line had no right being this hot—
  
  

  “You’re too sweet between the legs to say please, Taylor. You just ask for Daddy and I’ll do the rest.”

  
  
  typically i’m like: daddy kink 🤢🤮
  
  but here i was like…SAY THAT AGAIN (he didn't 😔)
  
  also, the church scene...thank you tessa bailey for your service 🫡 😌
• 
  mimi (taylor’s version)

  Tessa Bailey, the queen of dirty stories with pretty covers.
  
  I've read enough books written by her so far to know that there are only two reasons someone could like her stories: they didn't have their Wattpad phase - and/or they never got behind it - or someone really needs to get laid.
  It's not a flaw, but imagine this same book with one of those covers with shirtless men on it. How many of you would have read it? I'm honest enough to say I wouldn't, and this is how publishing houses trick us.
  
  First of all, I'm not a fan of the love-at-first-sight trope because being good-looking doesn't necessarily mean you're attractive. What will happen when you'll get old and you'll start having grey hair and your boobs won't be the same? I'll tell you: divorce.
  A good example of my theory is that Myles is pretty attractive and good at sex, but reading his pov made me uncomfortable a couple of times.
  
  But all the things I can say about this novel - the narrative, the descriptions, the characters - fade away in comparison to the true meaning of the story: sex.
  I've never experienced something like that so… is it actually possible? They met two hours ago and they’re so horny they can't even stay put in the same place without touching each other. I'm not sure I’d like a stranger to lick my belly after I talked to him once, I don't care how much I'm attracted to him. And it just escalates until they finally have sex.
  I don't mind it, I do think Tessa Bailey is great at writing erotica, but it's so obvious that it's the plot of the book. Not Taylor and Jude’s little holiday, not the mystery murder… the plot is these two having sex.
  
  And it has to be a cliché, or what is even the point? Myles is tall and grumpy, but so sweet on the inside; Taylor is short and cute - so cute -, but she's also smoking hot and she wants a Man.
  From their long excruciating monologues, we learn the two main topics from the beginning: he's dangerous and she's wife material; she's too good for him, and since he looks and talks like a bad cop from the 80s he could probably fuck the hell out of her.
  Fun fact: I felt less uncomfortable when I read Fifty Shades of Grey. Let's be clear: most of the time Myles doesn't think with his brain, but what the hell were those thoughts while they were having sex?! If a guy would express these types of thoughts in such moment I’d just disappear from his life, end of the story.
  
  My opinion is that the author just wanted to use her potential in writing great sex scenes. And even if there's nothing bad about it, the plot suffers the consequences of that.
  I don't think it's a bad story, I didn't dislike it, but when you close the book and think of what you’ve just read you realise it wasn't that good. Myles is not that hot and Taylor is a caricature of the classic good girl.
  Maybe the next one, Tessa.
  
  ↠ 2.5 stars
• 
  Anna

  Ah, Tessa Bailey… I really wanted to like this one!!!!
  
  One thing about Tessa’s books is that the heroes are always very (VERY) over the top - just growly, broody, very tall humans who become completely obsessed with the heroines within seconds of meeting them. And, sometimes, that works really well (hello, It Happened One Summer) and sometimes it’s very annoying (this, unfortunately).
  
  Our heroine is second-grade teacher Taylor Bassey, who decides to take her brother on a beach vacation to cheer him up after his favorite panda (from the panda sanctuary he works at) dies of old age. Okay, this part I did love, lol.
  
  It’s all going very nicely, but, when they get to the rental house, they have the unfortunate luck of finding the owner’s dead body in the laundry room. Gunshot wound to the head. Lots of blood. Very traumatic.
  
  There comes in Myles Sumner, the hot, scary private investigator hired to solve the murder. And it’s at first glance that he falls head over heels for Taylor.
  
  Like all Tessa Bailey heroes, Myles pretty much wants to wrap Taylor in bubble wrap and keep her away from any danger. Little does he know - but soon does he find out, lol - that Taylor has no intention of staying safely at home and enjoying her vacation. No, she’s gotten a taste of what it feels like to be brave, and she’s ready to solve this murder!
  
  I really liked Taylor; she was so funny and corageous and awesome. Plus, she sang Kelly Clarkson in the shower, which brought us closer. 🤷🏻‍♀️
  
  Myles, though. He was… too much. His whole personality was growling and taking antacids (🤔) and manhandling Taylor. He was less like a human person and more like a caricature. It made the book really hard to get through, honestly.
  
  My favorite part ended up being the murder mystery. Tessa really nailed it with the plot twists and the suspects and the rich characters. I kept coming up with theories that were shut down every time, lol.
  
  I’m very sorry to be one of, like, three people who didn’t love this book, but I’m very happy for all of you who completely disagree with me! 😂
• 
  h

  5 stars ✧
  
  

  “you want that pretty little mouth kissed?”
  “y-yes.”
  “now say it again without stuttering, baby.”

  
  
  
  please can we just appreciate that for a second because this man has me fucking feral my god. this book was exactly what i needed after binging the
  all for the game trilogy in two days and it helped heal over the emotional damage that it inflicted 😭😭😭
  
  
  (i never summarise the book in my reviews, all you get is me screaming over how hot characters are. take it or leave it 💋)
  
  
  the duel praise kink had my JAW FUCKING ON THE GROUND who let this be so fucking hot
  
  

  ”then she dips down and scrapes my neck with her teeth, licking the sting away and colors—fucking colors are exploding behind my eyes. “you’re going to keep me safe and make it hurt a little at the same time, aren’t you?”

  
  
  no one speak to me
  
  

  “my mouth kissing up her spine and burying in her hair. “good. that’s a good girl.”

  
  
  MYLES I WOULD BECOME A HOUSEWIFE FOR YOU.
  
  taylor protecting her man at every turn and knowing he’s so soft for her and appreciating him AND LOVING HIM AS HE IS HAS ME SO 💞💕💝💘💖💗💓 the fact that she doesn’t try and push his boundaries on the way he views relationships because of what happened with his ex and his last case was so sweet and cute and yes maybe men are stupid and their only personality trait is grunting and being so goddamn protective BUT A GIRL HAS DADDY ISSUES OKAY AND MYLES WAS SO WHOLESOME WHILE ALSO BEING HOT AS FUCK I CANT BREATHE.
  
  i agree with people when they that the scene where taylor comes back to her man is one of her best moments, but personally my fav is when he’s pushing her away because he’s a scared little bitch AND MS GIRL IS AN ICON FOR THE WAY SHE REACTS!!!!
  
  

  “chin up, i look him right in the eye. “it’s your loss, bounty hunter.���
  “taylor,” he rasps.
  turning on a heel, i walk away. i leave him behind me, literally and figuratively,”

  
  
  this comes back to her respecting his boundaries EVEN WHEN HES BEING A CUNT!!! do men deserve rights? no. but it’s still really cute to read and i fucking adore taylor, back off. if anyone is mean to her I WILL FIGHT YOU. also the grumpy/sunshine in this book was so 💘💞💓 taylor and myles are so perfect for each other. the growth that both of these characters had was immaculate (yes, in the span of five days) and they way taylor literally makes myles a better man ☹️☹️💗💗
  
  

  “she makes me a better man. a better human. she makes me so much better.”

  
  
  i could genuinely just quote everything in this book because it was so 💟💟💟
  
  
  

  “until he squeezes my hip and touches our foreheads together, i have no idea how badly i’m craving that show of…what? comfort? but the second i have it, a twitchy feeling in my stomach settles. he looks me in the eye until i nod—and i barely know why i’m nodding. only that i liked him holding me down, hand on my throat, but it woke me up to such a degree that i need his eye contact and softer contact to come back down. with my nod, i’m communicating something important to him that doesn’t need to be spoken out loud.”

  
  
  THEYRE SO PERFECT OH MY GOD??? the way that they’re genuinely soulmates and it’s so fucking refreshing to read about it. yes this was insta lust and love since they fell in love within five days, and usually i would hate that, but their love felt so pure I DIDNT EVEN CARE.
  
  EVERYONE BOW DOWN TO TESSA BAILEY FOR THE CHURCH SCENE BECAUSE
  
  

  “you make me feel safe and protected,” she whispers against my chin, then higher to my lips. “but at the same time, you make me feel like i can protect myself. isn’t that kind of amazing?” she lays kisses along my jawline. “aren’t you kind of amazing?”
  she feels it.
  the way my cock swells over her praise. right there in her hand.”

  
  
  LIKE HELLO ❓❓❓❓❓❓❓❓
  give me a second to catch my breath
  
  

  ”god i just want to worship her.”

  
  
  AND THE PARKING LOT SCENE??? him fucking her with a dildo against the car WAS SO HOT I CANNOT. i was reading that scene at work like 😮😮😮💞💞💞
  
  

  “every time you use this thing, remember that my cock is bigger,” i growl against her ear. “and i’m somewhere out there, thinking of you while i stroke it.”

  
  
  when myles was like i have to do work but making you happy and taking you to get ice cream is more important HAD ME SCREAMINGGGGGG. nah because genuinely if this man was real I WOULD JUMP HIM SO FAST. except that he’s a fucking giant and i don’t know how my girl taylor does it. applauding her tbh, because if i saw a MAN that tall irl??? running tf away, ABSOLUTELY NOT. yes we were reminded of their height difference every fucking chapter, but ykw idc. IDC! speaking my truth, size kink can and will be hot. my tumblr girlies get me!
  
  

  “when she lifts onto her toes to speak in my ear, i automatically lean down to meet her halfway”

  
  
  theyre just so domestic in a way that fills my heart with joy ☹️☹️☹️💘💘💘
  
  

  “you’re so safe with me, sweetheart, baby, going to cram you so full and kiss it when i’m done—”

  
  
  I WILL ACTUALLY CRY I WANT HIM SO BAD.
  
  this is just a side note, but his obsession with her clothes is just so cute??? when he asks what she’s wearing and talks to himself about never having seen it before or something 😭😭 idk it was just so adorable I LOVE THIS MAN LEAVE ME ALONE.
  
  ALSO WE LOVE MEN WHO ARE LITERALLY INSANELY UNHINGED I CANT WITH THIS MAN 😭😭😭😭
  
  

  “would we make love as usual and just leave it to chance? or would she…would we fuck with the express intent of getting her pregnant? christ. that would be…
  don’t think about how satisfying it would be. don’t think about looking her in the eye when i come and knowing it serves a purpose beyond physical pleasure. don’t think of her wrapping her thighs tighter, tilting her hips and praising me for my healthy swimmers.
  unless they aren’t healthy.
  then we’ll have to see a doctor. do the whole fertility thing—
  dear god, how did i get to a fertility doctor?”

  
  
  baby i don’t know how you got here, but i fully support this notion 💘💞💓
  
  when taylor makes a joke about her getting knocked out in the library by the killer and saying that myles could be the suspect since he was suspecting her for the murder at the beginning and myles is literally like:
  
  

  “but then he leans forward and speaks into my ear, low enough that i’m the only one who can hear him. “i’d take a bullet between the eyes before i raised a hand to you, taylor. the fact that you have to spend a second in pain makes me want to die.“

  
  
  MOUTH OPEN FOR THIS MAN. i could go on and on about him and it would never be enough, all i’ve got to say is that this book was so fucking adorable and the tension WAS SO WELL WRITTEN. the summer vibes were also immaculate and all in all i had a great time reading this <3
  
  

  “i might be dominating her, but she’s owning me.”
• 
  Gillian

  "From the first second I saw you to the last second I'm given. Stay with me. Watch me prove it."
  
  This was a fun rom-com and mystery about love, second-chances, being true to yourself and being courageous. Taylor is a second-grade teacher who wants to have a relaxing vacation in Cape Cod with her brother, but when a dead body is found in the rental house Taylor's plans change. Taylor wants to help solve the mystery, but the bounty hunter, Myles who is on the case doesn't think that Taylor can help. Will Taylor and Myles solve the crime? Will Taylor help Myles believe in love again?
  
  This book was so good!! This book is told from Taylor and Myles' point of view. I was transported into this wonderful book from the very beginning. I really liked the mystery aspect in the book, it was fun trying to solve the crime along with the characters. I loved the characters so much. I love Taylor, she is stubborn, sweet, smart, brave, and helpful. I loved that Taylor showed herself and others that she is brave. I'm in love with Myles, he is so hot, protective and sweet once you see past his hard exterior. I also really liked Taylor's brother Jude, he is such a great guy and brother. The chemistry and sexual tension between Taylor and Myles was amazing. The banter between Taylor and Myles was so good! The only thing I didn't like was the insta-lust to love between the characters. The ending was so cute and good! I'm so glad it ended on a happy note. I would recommend this book to anyone who loves romantic comedies and great characters.
• 
  Noah

  Hm… okay look, is this a wonderfully written novel with a beautiful message? Not really. Is it a well-crafted mystery with endless twists and turns? Nah, but is it at least a fun adventure with charming characters and a cute little romance on the side? Again, no. I’m sorry, but I’m pretty sure I hated this.
  
  I think Myles might just be the horniest character I’ve ever had the displeasure of encountering in a book, and that’s saying something. Maybe this wouldn’t be an issue if there wasn’t A MURDER TO SOLVE! Get your head in the game dude. The horndog came across as really creepy in my opinion. And Taylor uses racially-coded language when describing Myles, saying he looks like a “criminal” and a “gorilla” on separate instances early in the book.
  
  But what about the things that I liked? I guess I kind of liked the first three chapters, and the cover is pretty cute. I honestly hesitate to even call this a mystery novel. They both spend so much time talking about how hot the other person is, which got really frustrating because there’s A MURDER TO SOLVE! Also, Taylor’s relationship with her brother is weird too, she babies him even though he’s only like two years younger than her? I’m not sure if this is a bad book per se, but I’m probably going to need a palate cleanser.
• 
  Jodie✨

  Tessa girly I just wanna talk because what was this… the only thing that saved this being a 1 star was that I didn’t guess who the murderer was but seriously this book deserves jail time
• 
  Júlia

  This wasn't bad. I had swore off Tessa Bailey books because of her writing style and how cringy her s&x scenes were, THEN she decided to put out a murder mystery and I love stuff like that. I decided to give her a second chance.

  Here's what's difficult: she is getting better and less cringe as time goes by when it comes to romance, but for a muder mystery? This was so so incredibly and torturously:

  I fell asleep five times trying to read a 200 page romcom. Something ain't right.

  I thought I'd be here writing about how awful her FMC was, and how cringe the relationship was but, not really. She nailed those this time.

  These two together were funny, sweet and they had some chemistry.

  It gets a little repetitive at the end with the whole: I don't do relationships bit.

  He is the NO commitment guy, he calls her bridezilla, but he finds himself deeply and emotionally attracted to her and he tries to avoid those feelings the entire book.

  We had some good side characters, like her brother. He was a great non-stereotypical gay character (I hate when authors write a gay character to be extra gay. A guy who knows everything about clothes and nails and uses annoying language.) No, her brother was just a random cool guy who happened to be gay and I respect that.

  The relationship was sweet, funny and surprisingly way less cringe than what I expect a Tessa Bailey book to be.

  However, I picked this up in the hopes that a murder-mystery romcom was going to be super exciting and hilarious, and it wasn't.

  So yeah, 3/5. Didn't hate it, but also not crazy about it either and will probably forget all about this book tomorrow.

  NOT GONNA LIE THO: I am happy to see that romcom authors are getting out of their shells and trying to do something different, out of their cookie cutter quirky fmc, broody mmc, small town shabang. Please, keep this up. I am sick and tired of reading the same story packaged in different cartoon covers. So this gets points for creativity.

  
• 
  ♥Milica♥

  See, this could've been something if the murder mystery was the only thing going on, but the romance had to ruin it.
  
  Taylor is cringy, but Myles is even worse. And together? They're the cringiest couple that has ever dared to cringe.
  
  I think if we only got Taylor's PoV, MAYBE the romance wouldn't be so bad. But instead we got a dual PoV and being in Myles's head was not a good time. I would smack him with the poor jellyfish that stung Jude. And no, the jellyfish didn't do anything to me, but the point still stands.
  
  This man meets her, and immediately thinks about her in sexual scenarios, but it's not even that, it's that it's not sexy, and it's supposed to be sexy, since this is a romance novel.
  
  Then that same day he licks her stomach area and STEALS HER PANTIES which he goes on to keep in his pocket and feels them until she steals them back days later. HOW IS THIS HOT AND NOT CREEPY???
  
  And then there's the typical "they want each other but she wants a relationship and he doesn't so they shouldn't be together but they are oh so attracted to each other that they just can't help it" until they eventually admit their feelings and solve the mystery. Hurray.
  
  I think Tessa Bailey could write a good thriller, the potential is there, but the characters would have to be dramatically different. I'm hoping that the rest of her books are different, because I've been meaning to read them and I'd prefer not to hate them, you know.
  
  2 stars only because it wasn't totally terrible (the mystery) and it's easy to read.
• 
  Sonia

  I didn’t know dual praise was a thing? And with a grumpy/sunshine book? Yaaasss
  
  I looooove reading a book where the H doesn’t wanna commit… but all his actions prove that he can’t help but crave commitment; it literally cracks me up. This man, who doesn’t want a relationship, is planning babies and fertility doctor/visits in his head 🤣🤣🤣. Seriously! I was 🤣🤣🤣💀💀. But it made me love him more 😉
  
  Taylor’s (26) a second grade teacher (bless her soul) and is on vacation with her brother Jude. She’s enjoying the nice house she rented for the week when she notices peep holes in the bathroom. Not only is she disgusted, but ends up finding the dead body of the owner of the house… the one she rented from… and it’s no accident 😬. Of course, being the avid murder/crime watcher that she is, she tries to piece together the evidence to see whodunit. Don’t worry. Here’s where Myles steps in.
  
  Myles (34) is friends with the homeowner’s sister’s boyfriend AND he’s a bounty hunter. He’s gonna figure out what happened with the murder… as long as Taylor stays out of his way 🤣.
  
  What I liked/loved-possible spoilers
  —are you surprised I’m saying this first? The STEAM🔥! GAWD. This grumpy man has a duuuurty mouth. He’s confident, alpha, and just plain yummy. Sure. They get c blocked a lot 😑, but man, what they lack in completion (at first) they make up in determination and follow through 🤣🔥🔥🔥. The scene where she buys a toy and he corners her (in public) to show her how little it’ll do for her without his help was 🥵🥵🥵. Yes Myles, show me what you’re working with. And then the water scene 👀. Dear LAWD. And those were before they go all the way. Once they get there, it’s just 🥵💦🔥😅👀. This leads me to…
  
  —the church scene. Yeah yeah. I know. I KNOW. I’m sinning just thinking about it. But. You know what?? I don’t even care 💁🏻‍♀️. That scene was 🥵🔥. These two didn’t care that they’re in a PUBLIC place, where God is their witness, and… well, I was a witness too. Jeeezus (pun intended). Give me more please 👏🏻
  
  —the chemistry. I swear. I almost got pregnant the first time these two were in the same space together. All Taylor has to do is walk into the room and Myles is ready 💁🏻‍♀️😉. She’s ready too 👀
  
  —the dirty talk. So it’s related to the above two. So what 🤷🏻‍♀️. It’s hot
  
  —DUAL PRAISE K!NK 😱😱😱. Look. I love praise k!nk, but then Taylor goes and praises Myles too… and I was like 👀👀👀 oh yes. I appreciated it just like Myles did. Jeezus 🔥. But… I love it more when it comes from the Bounty Hunter 😉
  
  —commitment issues? Where? Just like I mentioned before, Myles tries to be clear and show he’s not into relationships… and then he starts planning their babies and maybe potential fertility doctor visits in his head 🤣🤣🤣. Bahahaha. This scene was so fun! Meanwhile, poor Taylor just wants to know what kind of ice cream he wants 🤣💀💀💀
  
  —the JPness. Bahahaha. Omg. ERMAGOD! Myles gets jealous of a toy!!! And her red hookup panties (which he promptly steals, because duh💁🏻‍♀️ he’s the only one that’s gonna hook up with her 💅)… and of men near Taylor… and of Taylor AGREEING with him when he says they can’t have a relationship. He’s like “wait what?” He doesn’t know what to do with himself 🤣🤣🤣💀 especially because he thinks about who her boyfriend could be and who she could have kids with. No one’s around them and he’s just jealous. He’s jealous of THOUGHTS. Totally made me love him more. And don’t forget he’s JEALOUS of a VIBRATOR… he doesn’t understand it himself 🤣
  
  —how protective he is🥰. Considering Taylor’s the sunshine to his grumpiness, I was ecstatic when he starts being protective as soon as he realizes how attracted he is to her (ummm… like the first day). She’s in the middle of giving him a BJ and he stops to shield her from glass damage when someone throws a buoy through the window. Sigh. What a sweetie 🥹❤️. On top of other things he does… if this doesn’t show how swoony he is then I don’t know what will. This man gave up an O for the safety of Taylor. Swoooooon 🥰🥰🥰
  
  —the romcom of it. Omg. I giggled so much!! Yes, I know, how horrible of me, a man DIED and I’m laughing… but… it’s not my fault 😅. There are so many funny parts!!!
  
  —Myles‘s willingness to sacrifice his blue (more like black) balls😅. This poor man didn’t finally find release until later in the book, but he didn’t care. He’s there for Taylor 🔥🔥🔥 but I silently wanted to petition for him to get his earlier lol #justiceForMyles’sBlueBalls
  
  —the mystery/suspense. I didn’t see it coming 🤷🏻‍♀️. I was surprised lol
  
  —the grovel. Well, Myles messes up and Taylor’s like “peace, I’m out.” But Myles proves just how IN she really is 👀 and well, he is DEFINITELY in as well 💁🏻‍♀️. Actions speaks louder than words and he’s happy to do it
  
  What I wanted more of-
  A longer epilogue. Sigh. Many many years into the future. I think I’ve just been spoiled. I wanted to keep reading!
  
  Overall, I LOOOOOVED it 🥰🥰🥰
  
  ⚠️safety squad⚠️
  -no cheating/sharing/owd
  -there's a dead body (but we don't see the murder happen)
  -H has been married/divorced now
  -DUAL praise kink/spanking/p slapping/mild daddy kink
  -OM- there are guys flocking around the h. The H sees red and even threatens one 💅.
  -condoms
• 
  Jessica

  2.5 stars
  
  This was so disappointing. From the start, I didn't really care for any of the characters. All of them were very over the top and all the hero could think about was how much he wanted to sleep with the heroine. Literally every time we were in his head, he talked about how hot she was and how attracted he was to her. So then, they'd be talking and then randomly someone's shirt would be off and I had no idea how we got to that point. I really didn't care for anything in this book. The mystery was boring and I honestly didn't care who was responsible for the dead body. How it played out was so over the top and cheesy and it's just not my style. The romance was insta love and it just seems like everything was over the top. Some people might like that, but I just wasn't into it and couldn't wait to just be finished with the story.
• 
  Monica

  5 ✨
  
  Ummmmmm
  
  Can we just—
  
  I’ll fuck you so nasty you’ll never be the same.
  
  Myles. Myles. Myles. The Scottish Highlander bounty hunter is god tier.
  
  I want to be the man she thinks I am.
  
  He’s soft on the inside.
  
  HE SITS ON THE FLOOR AND CRIES ABOUT THEIR BREAKUP? Please my heart can’t take it.
  
  My Killer Vacation might just be on the same level as It Happened One Summer. This book was so funny, approaching suspenseful, and so hot omg. The plot was in and out but I really didn’t care because every scene with Myles and Taylor was pure gold. I loved every minute of this book.
• 
  Llakshmi

  I’m floating you guys, I’m so happy, I think I like this book more than it happened one summer. It was the perfect summer read and I felt so light and gleeful after finishing it
  
  Myles. That’s who my entire review is going to be about. Myles. My entire world. Myles. My adorable little button.
  
  ✨✨✨✨✨✨
  
  so we have the epitome of grumpy - sunshine trope here and I don’t really want to go too much into the storyline -because I really don’t have the time but let me tell you
  
  - I was thoroughly entertained
  - I laughed out loud in some moments
  - I did skip a few scenes but who doesn’t
  - I loved the sibling duo here
  - The mystery aspect was more comedic than thrilling for me
  - Absolutely adored the heroine. She was strong and well written. Her character wasn’t immature nor was she expecting to change the hero
  - The conflict in the end bummed me out ngl, I see why it was there but I felt like the execution could’ve been better
  - The loved how Taylor handled many situations and proved to herself that she could take care of herself
  - The tension and foreplay 🤌🤌🤌🤌 this was NOT slow burn my bestiesss
  - The size difference between them😭😭 she’s tiny y’all
  
  Now here are scenes that I enjoyed
  
  “The kind of woman who makes a man want to be a hero.
  Other men. Not me, obviously”
  
  First thought :I already know what the conflict would be about
  
  
  Help!”
  At first, I swear to God, that’s my dick talking. He is in dire need of some help”
  
  
  
  “but I kind of wish Taylor would smile at me more. She did it a yesterday, didn’t she? What needs to happen on my part in order for there to be more smiles?”
  
  
  
  “Taylor is hopping back and forth, trying to keep from burning off the soles of her feet.
  
  I wrap an arm around her waist and pull her up against me. “Stand on my boots.”
  
  
  
  “We’re not a thing,” I answer for us.
  Myles starts, turning his frown on me. “Well hold on. That’s not completely accurate.”
  “Yes, it is,” I say to Wright. “Not a thing. Write that down.”
  “What do you call hand holding?” Myles asks me.
  Wright pretends to make a note, murmuring, “So there has been hand holding…”
  
  
  
  “Don’t think of her wrapping her thighs tighter, tilting her hips and praising me for my healthy swimmers.
  Unless they aren’t healthy.
  Then we’ll have to see a doctor. Do the whole fertility thing—
  Dear God, how did I get to a fertility doctor?”
• 
  ❀ Rose ❀

  The cover kills me😂