| Title | : | How to Sell a Haunted House |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0593201264 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780593201268 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 419 |
| Publication | : | First published January 17, 2023 |
When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world.
Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market.
But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them…
How to Sell a Haunted House Reviews
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I can't recall when Grady Hendrix and I had a conversation about everything I would love to see in a Horror novel, but the man must have been taking notes!!!
This story follows Louise Joyner and her brother, Mark. Louise lives in California, while her brother, Mark, still lives in their hometown of Charleston, South Carolina.
The two siblings are not close. They basically only see each other, or talk really, when they are doing things with the rest of the family, like with their Mom, Dad, cousins, Aunts, etc. Otherwise, it's a bit like cats and dogs.
So, when Louise receives a random call from Mark, she knows the news can't be good and it's not. It's like the rug has been ripped out from under her.
Their parents were killed in an accident. Louise needs to come home right away. It's devastating. She leaves her 5-year old daughter, Poppy with her ex, packs her things and boards a plane.
There's so much to do, the funeral, the estate, but she doesn't want to be dealing with any of it. She just wants to be alone, but unfortunately, when people die they leave things behind that have to be dealt with.
Her parents left a lot behind. Of course they did, they weren't expecting to go anytime soon. They built an entire life in Charleston. They lived in the same house that Louise and Mark's Mom grew-up in; decades and decades of stuff, memories, accumulating.
How can they get rid of all of that? Stressful! Adding fuel to the fire, there are unexpected turns, mainly involving the wills, that leave Louise and Mark even more at odds.
This sounds like a lot, doesn't it? It is. It is for regular people with regular items that need to be dealt with, but what is kept within the walls of Louise and Mark's childhood home isn't exactly what you would call regular.
Their Mom was a puppeteer. She hand-made all of her own puppets; hundreds and hundreds of puppets. But even puppets need more friends, so there are dolls and odd taxidermy craft projects as well. Every room seems to have dozens of little eyes watching your every move.
From the moment Louise sets foot in the house, she feels like something is off. It's giving her the creeps, she can hardly stand to be in there anymore. Memories overwhelm her. Disturbing incidents from her childhood. Was it just her imagination? Is it now?
Regardless of the vibe of the house, her and Mark want to prep it for sale. Both of them need the money. They need this done quick. They'll have to work together.
I won't say anything more about the plot of this novel, as I definitely recommend going into it knowing as little as possible. I didn't really know what it involved when I started and I'm so glad.
I knew Haunted House, siblings and the fact that their parents had passed away. From that I expected to really enjoy this as I love Horror that explores grief, complicated family dynamics and of course, haunted houses.
This story does have all of that, but also much more. The surface level story is so engaging, yet this one runs deep. If you want to unpack it all, there's a lot to explore.
Louise and Mark. Their relationship is so complicated. At first, I hated Mark. Not going to lie. I thought he was the biggest jerk to his sister and for no reason. He seemed spoiled to me and jealous of her.
As the story builds, you do get back story of their childhood and a lot of interesting things had happened to them; between them. I felt like after reading that stuff, Mark's personality started to make a lot more sense.
I loved watching the evolution of their relationship as well. As they began to open up with one another and tried to understand the other's perspective. I thought that was such a nicely done progression. I felt bad that it took the death of their parents for them to have those needed conversations.
It was dramatic. I also started to feel a certain way towards their parents and it wasn't very charitable. I felt like they had sort of plagued their own children to grow up with certain issues because of the choices they had made.
This won't make sense until you read the novel, but just trust, if you become as invested in this as I did, your emotions will run the full range before you are done. With emotional range in mind, I loved the clever section titles. Well played by Hendrix.
I can acknowledge that this book won't be for everyone. I know that. It plays on certain tropes not everyone is going to love, but for me, this was a top-tier Horror story.
It was incredibly well-told with compelling characters, deep family issues and themes explored, as well as toe-curling imagery. This played off all of my childhood fears and let's be frank, things I am still afraid of today, even as an adult.
I had moments where I had to walk away from it. It was scary to me. Seriously, there were nights when I had to put it down and read a palate cleansing book before I could even attempt to go to sleep. That's a sign of a great story!
Thank you so much to the publisher, Berkley, for providing me with a copy to read and review.
This was absolutely one of my most anticipated books of the year and it did not disappoint. In fact, I've found a new one to add to my 'Favorites' shelf!! -
Annabelle meets Child’s Play concept blended in dysfunctional family drama and unresolved problems of siblings with perfect dark sense of humor!
I can honestly say this is the TENSEST, MOST NERVE BENDING, CREEPIEST horror/ dark comedy story I’ve lately read! I chuckled a lot and mostly gave my loudest hysterical laughs! Especially the last third of the book: things get out of control and escalate to a new level of bat shit craziness! You tell yourself “no freaking way it can happen” but eventually things happen beyond your imagination and so many jaw dropping, shocking moments later you let your screams so loud! ( I don’t recommend you to read this book at public places not getting too much unnecessary attention)
The squirrel nativity attacks, avenging scary dolls popping out their eyes and a very dangerous puppet trying to posses you! Yes! So many unbelievably scary things happening in this book and if you like haunted house theme, buckle up and enjoy the fun from front seat.
Louise, single mother, 39, living in San Francisco, focusing on her career and her little girl Poppy, estranged with her parents and her troublesome brother Mark. One night she gets a phone call from the same brother who informs her their parents died in a car accident and he waited for nearly 2 days to mention it!
Louise reluctantly flies to Charleston to go to her childhood house she’s left years ago. A house filled with weirdest Annabelle styled dolls, hundreds of puppets her mother made and literally gave life by attending Christian puppet ministry, giving performances with her puppets at churches for years. And let’s not forget lots of taxidermies shelved among the puppets.
Louise wants to get rid of everything, going back to her life in SF, hugging her daughter, forgetting everything else about her house. But her brother keeps pushing her buttons. If the house will be sold, she may get rid of financial problems and she finds herself fighting with her brother for the inheritance. Finally she gives up but even though she plans to run away again the house has no intention to let her go.
Louise and Mark realize there’s something truly threatening about the place and it’s more than a bad energy, a powerful curse, something scary, something very dangerous giving life to vengeful puppets, avenging squirrels! There’s something in their house is so angry and it has no intention to go anywhere without taking more lives!
This book is heart throbbing and so scary! In the middle of the book, I screamed so lot and hid into a closet, imagining to get chased by puppets! After I gathered my courage, I pushed myself wear big girl’s pants and adult diaper to read the rest of it!
I adored Louise and Mark’s sibling relationship dynamics and how their unreliable perspectives affected their lives. Both of their memories are so subjective. We realize nothing as it seems and both of them flawed characters who learn to give themselves second chances!
I think I’ll have Pupkin-full nightmares for months but it’s truly worth it!
If you are okay with family drama and scariest haunted doll house them: this book is perfect match for your needs!
Giving my 5 puppet masters! (It’s impossible to give a Grady Hendrix work less than five stars)
Many thanks to NetGalley and Berkley Publishing for sharing this amazing digital reviewer copy with me in exchange my honest opinions.
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How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix
I've never watched one of those haunted doll or haunted puppet movies or one of those teen slashers. I've not watched any horror movies except that spinning head one and wished I hadn't watched that one. But I did enjoy two of Grady's books, kind of, sort of, skipping over grossness when it appeared. So I decided to give this story a try but I'm just too far off the fan base to feel invested. I do like some haunted house stories but this is something else.
Louise is living across the country from her childhood home, her parents and her brother. She relationship with them is laden with guilt and resentment. When she gets a phone call that her parents are dead, she wastes no time going home, though. As much as she dreads going home she knows she must go.
Louise's brother, Mark, seems to have fared even worse than she has with the moving on from their past, which is actually a part of their present. They need to sell their parents' house but that stalls almost before it starts. Louise and Mark can't stop fighting, extremely weird things keep happening, and the horror with house and their past is ramping up quickly. Is it the house, the contents, the people or all three of those things?
It was hard to care though. Louise and Mark aren't very nice people. They may have their reasons and a puppet named Pupkin may be at the head of them but the story is too long and drawn out for me to care enough. At the same time, I know this is a story that others will like a lot. It's funny and horrific and may bring back memories of other haunted objects if that's your kind of thing. I'll be happy to never hear or see the name Pupkin again.
Publication: January 17, 2023
Thank you to Elisha at Berkley and NetGalley for this ARC. -
HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE – GRADY HENDRIX
Full review available at The Mort Report:
https://www.uncomfortablydark.com/bla...
When it comes to characterization, a good author can make his characters believable in their actions and dialogue. A great author can make you wonder if he actually lived their lives. Guess where Hendrix falls…
Look, I am going to get this out of the way at the start: This is a 400 page novel with a lot of character development. For those who are looking for a fast, back-to-back action story, this one is going to annoy you. You become part of these characters’ lives before the horror starts.
Also, while there is still some humor here, it might be little less than the usual Grady Hendrix story.
There might be more of an ‘adult’ feel for those who have judged his previous work as not serious enough for their taste.
And that’s where I am going to draw my line in the sand:
While this is the longest (and probably slowest) story I have read this year, I thought it was fucking brilliant. The second half of this novel picks up the pace and action, and it makes the journey with the characters worthwhile.
So…in this one we have puppets. While some might say it is a lost art form, most people don’t get the appeal in the digital age anymore. Which might make it hard for some people to relate – the relationship between puppet and human, that is – and the magic it can create.
And I have to admit, I am not one who can get swept up in puppet magic. But, for everything you don’t get about art, there are always the exceptions to the rules.
What’s the point I’m trying to make, you ask? Somewhere, out there, beneath the…oops, getting carried away.
Okay, let’s take something that is generally considered…well, shit?
Mimes.
Now, you only get three kinds of people in the world.
The first hates mimes.
The seconds don’t hate them, but if their car lost control and they were about to plunge into a crowd of people, they will be aiming for the mime.
The third are mimes themselves, who would fall into the first category because they hate the competition but they have an intense love of themselves.
However, have you heard of David Armand?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPlSW...
(For those of you who couldn’t see the link, Google “David Armand Torn”)
What this guy has done with famous songs is beyond hilarious. I have watched this about a thousand times and it never stopped being funny. Do yourself a favor, watch his other stuff on YouTube too – he is brilliant! In fact, I am willing to bet that most people who have seen him will swerve away from him if they are the second person and aim for James Blunt…okay, bad example, most people will aim for him to start with, but let’s not offend any fans of other celebrities…
So, whether you like mimes (secretly, of course) or not, this guy is entertaining enough to become famous for miming and I think he is brilliant.
And the secret is this; write a story about a mime getting killed and most readers would not care. But write a character like David Armand getting killed and the fans will riot.
Which brings me back to my point (finally) – I don’t care for puppets or puppeteers, really, but I cared about every single one of these characters in this book.
And that’s what Grady Hendrix does so well, especially in this story.
I’m not going to say much more – read the blurb, heed my warning and don’t bitch about this one taking a while to get going. For the story that was told, I can’t think of anyone being able to do it better.
5 and a half STARS!! -
“How to Sell a Haunted House” by Grady Hendrix was one of those novels I could not wait to read in 2023. I’m a huge fan of Hendrix as he’s easily one of the best horror authors out there as all his books are unique, creepy, and well, horrific. It’s also great that he adds that touch of dark humor to tie it all together to make each book a memorable read.
Now, before I jump into my review, I wanted to let you know of two trigger warnings. If you’re triggered by 9/11 or the insinuation of violence against dogs, those are mentioned in this novel. Please note, Hendrix does a great job not describing or getting into details about violence against dogs, it just insinuates it. As a dog owner, this didn’t bother me at all and I appreciate he wrote it the way he did, so keep that in mind.
Moving along, I had no idea what I was getting into with this novel. I enjoyed the characters and pure creepiness to start things off. As a huge rock and metalhead, I loved the Nirvana reference as they were the first band I ever got into so bonus points for that. Even more bonus points for Hendrix thanks to the Stephen King and Shirley Jackson references, two of my all-time favorite authors.
In this novel, Hendrix once again showcased his phenomenal writing skills as there were several events and situations that were scary beyond belief. Don’t worry, I won’t spoil anything for you but there were at least 3-5 truly bizarre events that totally and completely blew my mind. I’m talking insanely horrific scenes that I had to re-read a few times because they were that wild and caused me to make faces.
Now, to be honest, I felt a few times while reading things dragged on just a bit. This is a complete package of a novel so besides all the horror, character development, and lots of undermining tones of family, religion, mental health, etc., I just got a bit zoned out when I wanted more horror, you know? I love a good story but I felt that if this novel maybe had 50-75 pages trimmed, it would have been a tighter, perfect read.
That’s the only ding I’m giving this novel as for the most part, I genuinely loved it. The great climactic building to the insane ending was absolutely fantastic and well, brilliant. I didn’t expect any of that to go down as that totally and completely rocked. I simply couldn’t put this novel down at all towards the end because I was that hooked.
I give “How to Sell a Haunted House” by Grady Hendrix a 4/5 as it was a pretty solid read. This novel felt like a modern Child’s Play but taken to a whole new level that I didn’t expect at all. I grew up in the 80s/90s and this has similar vibes to it. The horror scenes, characters, dialogue, and overall plot were very well done by Hendrix. If it weren’t for the few times things dragged on a bit, this would have been a perfect 5/5 in my book. Regardless, I’d highly recommend this to anyone that loves horror or Hendrix as it’s definitely worth reading. Pupkin was here. -
Fans of Grady Hendrix and his CAMPY HORROR should be thrilled with his latest offering, “How To Sell A Haunted House” …but it’s much more CREEPY, than it is SPOOKY.
What would make Louise and Mark Joyner’s parents leave their house in such a hurry, the night they lost their lives in a car accident on rain slicked roads?
The TV was still on, her Mom’s purse on the counter, her Dad’s cane on the floor and a half eaten Turkey sandwich in the fridge.
Oh, and the Attic had been nailed shut.
This is what Louise and Mark find when they show up to clear out their parent’s home in preparation for sale.
That and their Mom’s CREEPY DOLL collection sitting in the living room, watching the TV.
Yes, this house isn’t haunted by “people gone too soon”-it is possessed by dolls and puppets.
“A Puppet is a possession that possesses the possessor”
And, there is one Puppet, named Punkin, who is clearly in charge.
“Punkin home! Punkin home forever!”
And, he isn’t about to let you sell his house out from under him! 😳
I LOVED “The Southern Book Club’s Guide to Vampire Slaying” (my first Hendrix) but, since I don’t watch Slasher films, much of “The Final Girl Support Group” went over my head. This book would determine if Hendrix is or isn’t an author for me.
While, I think it’s now safe to say, that he probably ISN’T, I do think that fans of HIS and fans of horror stories starring demonic dolls and possessed puppets WILL enjoy this one and it’s AVAILABLE NOW!
3.5 ⭐️
Thank You to Berkley for the gifted copy provided through NetGalley, in exchange for a candid review! -
i don’t really like paranormal stories so unfortunately i just couldn’t take this book seriously, i did like the exploration of sibling relationships but i just couldn’t feel like i was reading a less scary version of goosebumps. i think this is my first 3 star book from grady hendrix in a while which says a lot cus i actually enjoyed the final girl support group.
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This is honestly one of the worst books I’ve ever have had the misfortune of reading. I feel so bad that given our current ecological crisis and the massive paper shortage, that even a single tree had to die for this book to be printed. RIP to the trees 🌲
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This book was batshit crazy. Killer puppets? A strained sister brother relationship. Like Hendrix knows how to write a creepy ass story and this BY FAR to me was his creepiest.
It’s longer and has a ton of character development but when things get weird they get weird. I couldn’t stop reading. -
4-5 stars
The publishers synopsis is really good so I’ll just say .... Five years ago in San Francisco Louise becomes a single parent to Poppy. Her parents are surprisingly supportive and as we all do, Louise thinks she’ll have years ahead with them. One evening her estranged, waste of space brother Mark (Louise’s opinion!) rings to tell her they’ve been killed in a car crash in their native city of Charleston. When she arrives at their house everything, absolutely everything feels wrong giving her chills and bad vibes. She makes discoveries that seriously disturb her, then she thinks she must be hallucinating but it’s the sealed up attic that really rattles her bones. What on earth is going on at the house???
Oh boy, what have I just read??!! It sure taps into some of my phobias IN A BIG WAY but it does so in such an entertaining way though I doubt I could watch if it’s ever made into a movie!! Some things really do creep you out, make you hot under the collar whilst also raising the hairs in the back of your neck! The claustrophobia is so intense at times - let me out of here!!!! At one point I genuinely do yell ‘Oh no, no, no, no, no’ rather loudly which raises an eyebrow elsewhere in the room! There are some freaky, scary scenes and so I need all my braves not to jump out of my own skin.
Yet, yet, it’s also really darned funny, quirky, original, creative, imaginative, crazy, mad, weird and totally creeptastic! How clever to be able to combine funny and ‘feary’ in the same book, what a skill.
The characters are excellent, on one I admit to a massive U-turn when you learn more as the novel progresses with the two lead protagonists being made of stern stuff if not titanium. The dialogue is also really good with the author sometimes making me hoot with laughter whilst at others covering my eyes which is not helpful when reading! I like the ending which is very satisfying. Highly recommended to fans of horror.
With thanks to NetGalley and especially to Titan Books for the much appreciated arc in return for an honest review. -
”We are not weird… My family is not weird… We are not weird… We’re as normal as every other family.”
Another year, another
Grady Hendrix novel under my belt. While this one wasn’t my favorite, it still consisted of a well crafted, slow burning and thought provoking storyline that many will enjoy. The reasoning behind my middle of the road rating is more personal than objective, as it contains a horror trope that I’m just not a fan of. I definitely encourage readers to try this for themselves, though, as it will be a favorite for many old school horror aficionados.
Where this novel shines, in my humble opinion, is in the writing of this family’s broken moments of grief. We ride alongside this sibling duo and see them process their complicated feelings about their parents who have passed suddenly, and the ups and downs add some character depth as the suspense builds around the house that is haunted. Honestly, how many of us can relate to having complex emotions surrounding our family, immediate or extended?
If you have been waiting for Hendrix to return to a traditional haunting type of story, this is it. I appreciate how widely he can pen a story in the horror category, and I look forward to what he writes next. If nothing else, I’ll definitely make sure my attic is secured tightly before sleeping again.
*Many thanks to the publisher for providing my review copy. -
If I didn’t have a fear of dolls/puppets before, I certainly do now!
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Grady Hendrix treats us to an incredible slice of campy modern horror. A wild, creepy and yet touching read which left me almost lost for words.
'Every childhood home is haunted, and each of us are possessed by our parents.'
I'm already a huge fan of Grady Hendrix and this new novel has exceeded all my expectations of his work. Hendrix has a knack for making the most mundane of day-to-day actions or observations into something sinister or amusing. I had moments where I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or be scared out of my skin.
Although many of the events in this book are utterly outrageous they still have a grounding in the real world and are so relatable, especially when it comes to our families and childhood memories.
The writing, characters and interactions between characters were so bold, rich, vivid and full of life that you could have believed that these characters and events were real.
'You know, Louise, her dad said, statistically, and there's a lot of variance in these numbers, but in general, from a strictly scientific point of view, everything turns out okay an improbable number of times.'
I have been very conscious not to leave any kind of spoilers or even a synopsis in my review. I believe this book is best experienced without knowing too much about it. That said, I suppose the title itself may give you an idea.
I could not rate this title any more highly, this book has something for everyone.
Move over Annabelle, move over Chucky, Pupkin is the new pretender to the crown!
Thankyou to Titan Books and Netgalley for providing me a ARC copy for review. -
I’m not even sure where to start with this review… I will say that I thought the five different parts of this book were labeled brilliantly. Each part/section was labeled as the five stages of grief. We had Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Loved it! However, each chapter within a section was soooo long, I started to lose interest in this book about halfway through. We not only had super long chapters, but this story became quite bizarre and outlandish, that it was hard to take seriously.
In this story we have the main character of Louise who comes back to her childhood home after her parents are killed in a tragic car accident. Louise has to deal with her estranged brother Mark, and also all the stuff that her mother has collected over the years- specifically dolls and puppets. These were not cute and “friendly” dolls and puppets, but dolls that were haunting the house. 🫣
At first, I was super invested in this story. I liked hearing about both Louise’s and Mark’s backstories. Then after the ‘Bargaining’ section, things pretty much went downhill for me. We have a puppet named Pupkin, who pretty much runs the show. Either, I’m just not a big fan of puppets- or I just wasn’t buying this story. Either way, I do not want any dolls or puppets near me after reading this.
This was my first Grady Hendrix read, and I will be looking into some of his other books that seem to have much better praise. This one just didn’t sit all that well with me. However, if you are a master of puppets- then this is the book for you! -
4.0 stars
Once again, Hendrix delivers a smart, funny horror novel that plays into the tropes of a subgenre. I don't tend to love Haunted House stories but I enjoyed that Hendrix plays around with the tropes.
The main character was an instantly likable woman. Hendrix always shows a talent for writing well rounded female characters.
I adored the setup for this one but found it dragging a touch in the second half. Yet this is still one of his best books. Mega fans of Hendrix will not be disappointed.
Disclaimer I received a copy of this book from the publisher. -
HOW TO SELL A HAUNTED HOUSE by Grady Hendrix (My Best Friend's Exorcism, The Southern Book Club's Guide to Slaying Vampires, Horrorstör)
Release Date: January 17th, 2023
General Genre: Adult Horror, Grief, Psychological, Humor, Suspense/Thriller
Subgenre/Themes: Haunted House, Mind-Bender, Mystery, Reads Like A Thriller, Religious Stuff, Possession, Ghosts, Demonic activity, Haunted, Creepy Dolls, Family, Domestic Drama, Stages of Grief
Writing Style: Character-Driven, Brisk Pacing, Cinematic, Intricately Plotted
What You Need to Know: Going in, all you need to know is that a brother and sister that have a complicated relationship are tasked with dealing with each other and their parents' estate after they die in a car crash. This situation is a catalyst for an overwhelming amount of personal discovery. The two must painfully work through family secrets in order to sell their haunted house.
My Reading Experience: How to Sell A Haunted House is officially my favorite Grady Hendrix novel now. I love this book. I enjoyed every, single minute I spent here. The way everything unravels both slowly (methodically) at first and then fast & fiercely toward the end is genius. Hendrix introduces readers to the main protagonist, Louise, giving us careful insight into her relationship with her brother, Mark. We see everything through the lens of her experience and worldview.
And this is where the genius comes in because we develop this relationship with Louise, right? We get everything we need from her perspective. And this is a lot like real life too, the people we are close to, friends and family, co-workers, etc. their experiences and their narrative about what's happening in their life is filtered to us the way they tell it. They can decide to spin a story the way they choose to influence our perception of how we see it. They can leave out some details, they can add to it a little, or they can outright lie to make us believe they are the hero of the story and someone else is the villain.
But if we wanted to, we could ask the other person, the "villain" how it all went down and the narrative would be a little different, wouldn't it? Depending on what's at stake.
Hendrix reminds us that there are two sides to every story. Maybe even more.
Every complicated situation or event could be told from multiple POVs. The truth is in there somewhere, but getting to that source of information is complicated and in this case, dangerous. I love the way we get a lot from Louise and Mark but we don't get the fuller picture until the circle widens to include other family members, and holy hell, I love this family. Aunt Gail, Mercy, Aunt Honey... it's a powerful thing that only Grady Hendrix can do and that's his ability to give fictional characters all that quirk and weirdness. SO GOOD! So laugh-out-loud funny. Sometimes I feel like authors don't really *see* or *hear* their characters and so I have a hard time seeing them or hearing them too--they all kind of look or sound the same right? Not in a Grady Hendrix book. These people ARE REAL. The dialogue is REAL. Cinematic. That's some bookish magic.
This is possession horror.
Yes, there are puppets, dolls, and a haunted house. And two jump scares.
BUT
There is also the possession of truth. How it is decided who knows and who doesn't get to know. That gravitational pull some families have where everything is centered around one person, or one event, or a secret, a lie. And everything is centered around that whole thing like a rotten core of an apple spoiling the family from the inside out.
Generational dysfunction passed on from one cult of personality to the next.
Goddamn. I'll be thinking about this one for a long time. Because honestly, the only way some families can heal from a bad thing is a catalyst of destruction. A disruptor. In the case of this book, How to Sell a Haunted House, the journey of discovery is EVERYTHING.
Broken relationships.
Haunted people.
A haunted house with a haunted past.
MY FAVORITE GRADY HENDRIX BOOK!! I laughed, I cried, and I was terrified.
Final Recommendation: If you are looking for an intricately plotted haunted house story infused with a tale of possession and mixed with a domestic drama complete with suspense and mystery, you will love this book as much as I did.
Comps: The Book of Accidents by Chuck Wendig (kind of), I don't know! I can't think of anything quite like this with the family dynamic and the humor, the fun, and the scares. -
This book sounded right up my alley and perfect for October. While I enjoyed it, I can’t say I will be haunted by it for long.
Louise is heartbroken to find out both of her parents died in a car accident. She’s also horrified that her estranged brother, Mark, didn’t call her until the next day. He’s always been selfish that way. They do not get along whatsoever, but now have to come together to clean out their parents house and put it on the market.
But…it seems like there’s something in the house that doesn’t want it to be sold.
Strange, unexplainable things start occurring, and Louise and Mark soon realize that the house is haunted…by a puppet and dolls that their mom made.
…and that kind of lost me. I prefer “haunted house” stories involving ghosts…paranormal activity. Puppets and dolls don’t quite do it for me.
However, after my slight disappointment, I do have to say that there were many aspects of the book I enjoyed. It’s entertaining in a ridiculous way, and even sometimes funny. I loved the dynamics between Louise and Mark, which got more interesting as the story continued. I didn’t find it scary, but it’s definitely an amusing read.
3.5 stars
Thank you to Berkley for providing me with a widget of the ARC through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Expected Publication Date: 1/17/22. -
I literally gasped and hissed "YES!" out loud to myself when I saw this, if that tells you anything about how excited I am to throw my money at Grady again
Thank you to the publisher for the review copy! All thoughts are honest and my own. -
3.50 Stars. That was quite the ride. I was super excited about this book. If you’ve followed my reviews for any time period, you will know how much I love paranormal anything, plus book horror. So naturally, all of Grady’s books have looked right up my alley but unfortunately, I just have not had the time to read them. I did watch
My Best Friend's Exorcism, and didn’t really care for it, but I heard many people say the book was so much better so it’s still on the list to read eventually. Anyway, when I saw this new book, a book about a haunted house by Grady, I thought the stars aligned because even better than a haunted person, is a good old fashion haunted house. I could not request this book fast enough I was so excited. It is not until two weeks ago that I read the blurb right before I was ready to start the book that I realize that this wasn’t really a modern Grady spin on an old school fashion haunted house story, this was Grady’s spin on object possession, aka creepy f@cking dolls/puppets.
I don’t know what it is about old dolls with dead eyes, but I think I watched too many ghost, reality shows about those real dolls that are supposedly cursed or have demons attached or whatever but I just can’t with them. I mean they made movies off of these real dolls they are so scary, heck I couldn’t even watch the new Chucky show since possessed dolls bother me so much now, while I remember back in the day watching Bride of Chucky with no issues, just to support Jennifer Tilly like any queer gen Xer young woman would. How was I, with this possessed doll phobia, going to read Grady’s new book when I knew he was going to push it to the max? Well this is why this review is a bit late because I could not decide what to do. I finally decided to read it and if it was to much, skim or DNF. I’m happy to announce that I was able to read the whole thing. There were two scenes I did fast read, but I was able to get through everything. The horror wasn’t scary per say, it was intense and weird and the book actually had a vibe of Chucky, but the story was completely different.
When it came to the story itself, I thought it was okay. I liked Grady’s writing and found it very easy to get lost in the book, even with a subject I actively disliked. Besides the horror parts, the main storyline really is about the relationship of a brother and sister who don’t get along and in fact can’t stand each other. You find yourself instantly siding with one character, and you soon find out that there are always two sides to every story, and I thought Grady did a really good job on showing that. There are some twists and turns in this book and while they are not too surprising, they are definitely fun to read. In the end, I don’t think people will claim this is Grady’s best, but I do think it was an entertaining slightly above average read. If you are a Grady fan or love Childs Play, Chucky, or just creepy dolls and puppets, than this just might be the horror book for you.
My thanks to Berkley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. -
It is important to note that the majority of the themes explored in this book deal with sensitive subject matters. My review, therefore, touches on these topics as well. Many people might find the subject matters of the book as well as those detailed in my review overwhelming. I would suggest you steer clear of both if this is the case. Please note that from this point forward I will be writing about matters which contain reflections on abuse, child endangerment, violence, parental neglect, psychological distress, violence against a child, the death of a child, grief, & others.
I won’t lie to you—I skimmed the bulk of this book. I always begin reviews with a recap. I go through, as a tertiary party, & reflect on what has taken place in an attempt to draw myself into what I have to say. I do not necessarily feel the need to do that in this case because the redundant, flippant nature of the horrifically mundane, trite, & dull plot was so graphically corny that my mind clocked out when the first hand struck the hour. This is very harsh criticism, I understand that. However, in 1993 R.L. Stine published “Night of the Living Dummy” for young readers & was able to incite, in under 200 pages, what this novel failed to glimpse in over 400.
The reader meets Louise & is immediately aware of the lack of direction this story will undertake. The story circles around itself endlessly—all without reason. I became confused as to whether the author was simply trying to render Louise an unreliable narrator or if they had actually forgotten that we as the reader were meant to be engaged & attentive to the material they were presenting. Louise’s character adds to the false premise of security. Certainly, there are reasons why she is this way; always believing herself to be the only person on earth who had a less-than-stellar experience at some point in life. Though this ignorance might have added to her narrative it was incredibly dull to have to read.
At once Louise tells the reader that she was never given anything by her parents, though certainly, money must grow on trees for her to have been able to have all the luxurious extracurricular activities that she was able to pursue on a whim. Yet, we then read that her family was in fact very financially insecure for several years of her childhood so, why does she believe that everything money can buy is her due? Louise tells the reader that money from her parent’s inheritance would help her buy a house with a yard so she could have a dog & give Poppy, her daughter, more freedom. Then, she turns around & tells us that she lied to Poppy for her complacency—she’s never going to buy a dog.
What does this add to the story? I do not think that Louise is unreliable, I think that she is a poorly constructed character. This is supported by the same lack of continuity within the story at large. For example, in one scene Louise has not yet cried about her parents’ death. When she lay on her childhood bed she began to cry for the first time. This is evidently forgotten by the author because a couple of chapters later Louise is described as crying for the first time with Constance.
This same formula is employed throughout the novel for a multitude of things which leaves me feeling that the author lost track of their original intention. I can appreciate that Louise felt disconnected within her family unit because her parents seemed to be coddling her brother, Mark, even when it seemed he didn’t deserve it. I suppose it’s an act of sheer ignorance that keeps Louise from noting her own failures as a human being. Her focus is locked into all the shortcomings of her brother, whom she cannot fathom as being anything less than a burden on society. I mention this fact because I grew tired of hearing about their quibbles. This is also why I reference R.L. Stine’s 1993 book—this relationship is identical to the one that the sisters share in his book.
Wouldn’t it have been wonderful to have seen one member of the family act like a fully formed entity within this plot? Am I meant to think it’s funny that Mark has to attempt to validate his emotions after his sister sliced his arm off? Are we meant to all laugh & giggle about silly Mark, who almost died & was denied his experiences, trying once again to find solace in the heart of a person who was as hollow as the Tin Man? I think not.
The crux of this story is technically one I might be interested in watching play out in a cinematic medium. Poltergeist stories are incredibly difficult to write. I believe that the author has to have the trust of the reader, before anything else, so that the reveals are subtle; actions leading the reader to question how they might interpret the situation if it were happening to them. I should not be laughing & rolling my eyes while reading about a demon-possessed hand puppet that is trying to murder & possess human beings.
Though this story has been done a thousand times, a skilled author—someone with a mind for details & gore—would be able to present the essence of this fear in a way that makes a reader forget its familiarity. I should not be reading a book & think about all the times I had seen this same premise carried out in smoother strokes. I cannot fault someone for trying something; I know this book will be loved by many readers. Thankfully, the world is filled with people who are different from me—it’s part of our charm as human beings, there are so many of us, all a bit different though similar, to one another.
Because of this fact, I can appreciate that some readers will come across this book & appreciate the cheesy dialogue. They won’t care that Pupkin—the poltergeist—leaps out of a closet like a demented frog in the middle of the night to hound a child who would just as soon forget he exists as spent her lifetime of energy following his orders. What would Pupkin achieve by having everyone kill each other? Genuinely, where do you go when the family that houses you is dead? You’re a puppet, you can’t just waltz out of the house given you rely on the energy & spirit of the living beings in the house. Or maybe you don’t? I don’t know, most of the details of his entity are—like those of every other character—unclear.
Having said that I really enjoy stories of poltergeists. The premise is one that has great potential. I truly believe that with proper, steady & diligent editing, this story could make for a wonderful screenplay. I laughed my way through the scenes with the taxidermy squirrels. I could not find anything frightening about a trio of blinded carcasses standing around the room whilst Louise—a fully grown adult human—loomed in fear. In the region in which I live, squirrels are massive. They can become very, very chunky so I appreciate that if a 10+-pound squirrel was threatening me, my heartbeat would pick up but…I’m also a fully grown adult human being, I recognize my options in this situation.
This leads me to my next point, Louise is intent on being useless. She never thinks ahead, & never takes a moment to reflect on how her actions will impact those around her. She is very selfish yet, she pretends that everything she does is because she is duty-bound to act. She simply shoots off to Poppy, right before she is meant to go to bed, that her beloved grandparents have died. She degrades Mark because he was drinking before calling her to tell her of their parent’s passing. She thinks that the funeral arrangements are wrong because she never thought to consider that her parents might be unknown to her, far away in her secret-keeping life.
I digress, we could go in circles along with the story on these points. Louise is not a character worth following & her bickering is tiresome. Inconsistencies do not a scary story make. Perhaps for some readers, but, I am no such one. I would have appreciated it if Louise had remembered saying that the trash was going to be collected when she dumped Pupkin inside. Yet, we read about her freaking out because she didn’t see his doll body in the garbage, days later, when she looked.
I didn’t care that the TV kept being turned on. I would have loved for this to have been the introduction to something eerie & torrential but, instead, I’m met with the comical squeaks of dead squirrels & an old possessed puppet that acted like a dead battery. All that to say, this book was not for me. I was eager to read it—I have heard so much praise for this author & their work. Ultimately, I wanted something more mature, something more pointed. I wanted bat caves of steaming breath without a body. I wanted limp ragtag arms swaying in dead air. I wanted the slightly slow-moving painted eyes of the possessed to glimmer in a sun that the characters would never see shine again. -
I've started and stopped this review a few times, then started over. It's difficult to put into words how much I enjoyed this book and why. So I decided to just go with freestyle. I'll put down my words as they come to me. It's the only way it's going to happen. So let's go!
This is my second Grady Hendrix book. I started with We Sold Our Souls last year. So I had a feel for his writing style. He stayed true to form with How to Sell a Haunted House. Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder - they do. Boy, do they ever! Besides the spookiness of dolls and puppets, Hendrix throws in the all too real horrors that can be found in family - especially when a loved one passes away. Why does this seem to often bring out the worst in siblings? Hendrix takes us on a rollercoaster ride of emotions between Louise and Mark. After their parents pass they need to figure out what to do with the house they grew up in. I swear I alternately loved and hated almost every character in this book! And the relationships all felt so genuine and real.
I've seen words thrown around about this book like "spooky" and "campy." Yes, is it all of that and more! I also found it endearing. Louise's love for her daughter, her parents, and her infuriating brother made me love this book even more. It was a fun trip! I highly recommend it, unless you have an extreme fear of creepy dolls, puppets, or messy family squabbles. I give this book all the stars! Five out of five creepy puppet stars from me! -
Grady Hendrix is one of those authors I simply trust. Sure, some books of his are better than others, but none of them were ever bad.
In this latest horror novel, we meet Louise. She's a young mother who had a very complicated - if not to say traumatizing - childhood. Why? Well, her mother is a bit cuckoo ... complete with being obsessed with making sock puppets and other creepy stuff. Also, Louise is alienated from her no-good brother. Still, her relationship to her parents improved ever since she got pregnant so finding out that her parents have died in a weird car accident is a shock. Not as much as her asshole brother when she gets back to the place she grew up in though. Louise wants everything to be over as quickly as possible but the house or something inside it is not willing to let her go. What, do you think, is worse: having to fight some sort of supernatural evil or having to do it with the help of a brother like Mark?!
I have to confess that at first I was NOT sold on this book. It seemed a bit too run-of-the mill for my taste and I wondered why Hendrix would choose to go down this route. Boy, did he lure me into a trap! *lol* As if it wasn't bad enough that I've always been creeped out by masks, puppets and dolls! Probably my just punishment for doubting him. ;P
The characters in this book were infuriating at times but also very life-like. Nobody was flat or cardboard - you just had to dig a little deeper to find out their secret (if you'll excuse the pun).
So for most of the book, while attentive readers will pick up a hint or ten, you have no idea what really is going on. Even if you think you do. For me, that was what had me tear my hair out - people needed to get with the program, communicate, do their homework! If they had done that, fewer bad things would have happen to them. Yes, it made me yell at the book (don't worry, it could hold its own, it yelled right back). *lol* It also means that I was fully engaged and enjoying myself tremendously.
Twists and turns, a switch between narrators of the audiobook version, creepy puppets and dolls, family secrets, religious people thinking they know just what to do, blood and fire and body parts ... this book had it all! *cackles delightedly* -
“A puppet is a possession that possesses the possessor.”
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I will tell you right now, I wasn’t ready for the chokehold this book put me in! From demons to vampires to final girls, now Grady Hendrix has provided us with one hell of a haunted house story.
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After Louise Joyner is struck with news that her parents have died in a terrible car accident, she flies to South Carolina to mourn with the rest of her family and plan the funeral. Much is fussed over concerning what’s to be done with her parents house and all that’s left behind within its walls. But Louise struggles to come to agreements with her estranged brother with whom she doesn’t get along. Heads butt over burial sites, funeral arrangements, putting their parents’ house on the market, and what’s to be done with their mother’s extensive and creepy doll/puppet collection… What follows is a haunted house story that goes beyond scares, creaking floor boards and flickering lights. The house is filled with living memories and the Joyner siblings can’t help but feel like they’re being watched.
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How to Sell a Haunted House gives us a rough sibling relationship rocked by death, grief…oh and creepy dolls (notice the house on the book cover is actually a dollhouse?) In spite of its evil playthings and dark humor, the story is very much about dealing with inherited family trauma and the consequences that come with trying to bury that trauma. If you're like me, this book will hit you in ways you won’t expect. There will be chapters where you’ll smile, and chapters where you’ll hate the protagonists, chapters that will creep you the hell out, and other chapters where you might even cry. Fans of Hendrix’s more fast paced novels should be patient with this one as the book takes its time developing its characters while they come to terms with the loss of loved ones and face what’s left behind in their wake. But there's still plenty of suspense to keep you flipping pages, creeps that’ll send chills up your spine, and an especially bloody scene that had my jaw on the floor. I can officially say of all Hendrix’s books, this is my favorite. -
SPOOKTOBER IS FOR CLOSERS!!! -
An adult version of Goosebump’s Night of the Living Dummy, but with such a heavy emphasis on grief that it’s not near as fun.
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“A puppet is a possession that possesses the possessor”
Thank you so much to Berkley Publishing and Grady Hendrix for my copy of this book. Why did their parents flee their home in the middle of the night? What had them in such a rush that they were killed instantly in a car crash? That’s what Louise and Mark Joyner want to know. The estranged siblings lost their parents in an instant, but nothing has prepared them for their next task- selling a haunted house.
Their mother collected puppets, and the house is filled to the brim with the dolls of their childhood. Each sibling is harboring a dark secret about one puppet in particular- Pupkin. He led them through their childhood, and seemed to take on a life of his own…but now he has a life of his own? Going through the house, Pupkin comes alive in a new and terrifying way. He doesn’t want the house to sell, and Mark and Louise start to realize that the only way to break away from their past might be to burn it all down.
Thoughts: Hendrix has the uncanny ability to write horror in a funny and entertaining way. This story made me scared to sleep with the lights off, sick to my stomach, and laughing out loud all in the same few chapters. It is first and foremost a horror book, but the undercurrent of meaning behind the plot touches on how sometimes we feel like puppets, controlled by our childhoods. Our past can keep us safe, but it can also bind and suffocate us.
Memories are subjective, and nothing really is as simple as we think. This book exacerbated my already fragile fear of puppets and took it to a whole new level. I found myself wanting to look away from the book, but simultaneously obsessed with finishing each chapter. Fans of The Southern Book Clubs Guide to Slaying Vampires will fall in love with How To Sell A Haunted House. 5 stars! -
Grady Hendrix can do no wrong in my eyes. He blends poignancy with hilarity so well. Then he throws in a bunch of creepy stuff and writes a page-turner, and I eat it up.
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Estranged siblings Louise and Mark find themselves back at their childhood house when both their parents die in an excruciating accident, apparently having left the house in a hurry on a rainy night. After their realtor cousin Mercy tells them she can’t sell a house which is very obviously haunted, they decide to cleanse the house of every single one of their mother’s dolls, self-made art and puppets, which proves really difficult with them constantly locking horns. When they reach the (locked) attic, they find something that both of them separately have been trying to burry into the past and never confront again, but, as it is with every cleansing, things need to be done thoroughly and who knows, maybe they can even explain their past behavior to each other and find some kind of redemption? Can Louise protect her own daughter from what has been some kind of curse in this family for so long? And whatever happened for their parents to leave the house like that?
As a younger sibling who has had her fair share of beatings and torture from her older sister, I was ‘Team Mark’ all the way from the point the book switched to his point of view until the end. There are a few shifts like that in this book that make you reconsider what you have read up until that point and see everything in an if not completely different, then in an additional light. All these shifts feel cleverly executed and natural - not really like twists, but as natural explanations to previous mysteries. As a person who, in my opinion, reacts very logically to what’s happening to him – from his search for a place to belong to, to his anti-war activism in art form, to this seemingly unsociable and difficult personality – he made sense to me, apart from some minor contradictory behaviors.
The ponderings on masks and puppets, and how they have the power to transform you into a different person, to possess you, were another level that Mark’s point of view provides. Although it’s not like the book re-invents the creepy puppet trope and nothing groundbreakingly new is being rolled out, I still feel kind of fascinated by the subject and Grady Hendrix might have yet invented one of the most annoying, aggressive, evil and creepy puppets with “Pupkin”.
Besides Pupkin, How to Sell A Haunted House features a myriad of other curiosities; a feisty Squirrel Baby Jesus, Southern aunties who know a lot about demons and ghosts, a radical political art collective that works with puppets, a hell hound named Spider, a seriously dislikable, most self-righteous lead lady and family secrets galore.
Hendrix enthralls with a flashy title and fast pace, gives a few legendary fight scenes and, as usual, rocks a monumental ending. There are a few mild criticism points from me for using the word “anarchy” as a synonym for “violence” and referring to a family trip to Berlin where people in beer gardens are wearing “Lederhosen” (I’ve been living here for ten years and that’s basically not very probable. Lederhosen are rather worn in Southern Germany). Despite that I really enjoyed reading this, would recommend.
I received an advanced reading copy of this book, my opinions are always honest. -
How to Sell a Haunted House?
Easy, just say it's fully furnished, all courtesy of Orsk. -
4.5.5 starts - It's no secret that I was not a fan of Final Girl Support Group, so I was keeping my expectations at bay for this. This gripped me from page 1 and as insufferable as some characters I'm sure were intended to be, this was the most fun I've had reading a horror novel in a long time. Such a fun unique spin on a classic haunted house tale.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzoob...
