The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture by Gabor Maté

The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture Reviews

• 
  Bryan

  I haven’t written many reviews this year, but as one of this book’s earlier readers, I feel a duty to write one before it becomes a bestseller. The Myth of Normal is a book that this world needs right now. It’s unlike Dr. Gabor’s other books, where he chose one topic (addiction, ADHD, etc) and ran with it. This time he’s going big. He whistleblows — with compelling research on the mind-body connection — our medical, social, and political systems for their naive disregard for the effects of trauma. And when I say ‘their’, I don’t mean’ their’. I mean you; I mean me; I mean us. These systems aren’t entities separate from ourselves. We’re in them; in fact, we are them.
  
  The only reason I’m not giving 5 stars is that his strength in breadth creates one of the weaknesses in this amazing book: a lack of depth. After investigating our blindness to trauma in meticulous detail in the first four parts, the fifth part (about solutions to healing) seems to be lacking. But perhaps I’m being a bit unfair to Dr. Gabor. He writes about his healing journey, and it appears he’s done much more healing others than healing himself — so his experience on the topic can only go so far. One may even go so far as to say that his role in this world isn’t to wake up himself but to wake everyone else up.
  
  After all, The Myth of Normal will likely dent our healing culture. As all large-scale changes go, it’s going to be slow. But this book exists now. It’s talking about our problems, and not in the new-agey wellness way — which I have no problem with, but doesn’t break through to the people who can make a difference (doctors, politicians, etc) — but in a meaningful, research-backed way that even the most skeptical can’t ignore.
• 
  Elyse Walters

  Audiobook….read by Daniel Mate
  …..18 hours and 12 minutes
  
  “The Myth of Normal”, was written by father and son:
  renowned physician Gabor Mate and his son Daniel Mate.
  While listening to 18 hours of the cultural causes of illnesses and disease —and how society is failing us…..
  my own mind was going berserk!
  Clearly haywire!!!!
  This book drove my own brain batty!!
  I have no idea ‘what’ I’m suppose to do with sooooo much ongoing negativity… sooooo much homelessness and despair ….. soooo much detail ….. for which I’ve little power to honestly do anything about the general shitty conditions of modern life.
  
  Definitions:
  Normal: conforming to a standard, usual, typical, expected.
  “It’s quite normal for puppies to bolt their food”.
  
  Myth: a traditional story, especially one concerning the early history of people or explaining some natural or social phenomenon, and typically involving supernatural beings or events
  
  I’m being ‘gut-honest’ here when I say that I felt this book was extremely overwhelming…pointing to more things that don’t work than for providing any real concrete - joyful hope or transformation.
  Basically I felt it was sooo gloomy— so completely haywire itself — I don’t believe that the spilling the beans on the truth - sooooo much of it in one book — TOO MANY ISSUES— vomiting everything wrong — will make much of a difference to anyone.
  
  I was left with a bad taste in my mouth -
  I felt bitter at times -
  I felt the entire book was ridiculously absurd.
  I’m not sure it would ultimately make one damn difference in ‘correction’ or ‘healing’ anyone!!!!
  It points to sooooo many things wrong — that even when it attempted to fluff and smooth out the wrinkles—provide insight and support for how we all might DO BETTER…
  I was already too far gone in the bleakness of ‘fuck- it’.
  
  Want a inside brief (ha) look at topics covered?
  Here ya go…..
  Mental illness, stress, attachment vs. authenticity,
  split sense of self, perfectionism, hiding feelings, seeking love, formative years, downsizing to adapt to our situations, jeopardize health,
  personality traits, survival solutions, wounding, and conditional attention that we each desire and require, compulsive helpers, seekers for recognition and stardom, compensation for all that we have lost, addictions, it’s hard to get enough of something that almost works, relief we buy, brain chemicals that get released during moments when we feel loved, temporary endorphin hits, appreciation, approval, aches at this soul, external replenishments, relationship catastrophes, a fundamental reassessment of who we think we are, emotional connection to illness, body-mind connections, blame, shame, a capacity to take it and bounce back, neurotic abilities, disconnecting from my feelings, abandon, unloved, victimized, guilt is awful, attachments & survival, lifelong grief, and suppression, distortion of human development, the growth of the mind, human nature and human needs,
  aging, accomplishments, every a society makes assumptions about human nature, manipulative self-serving behaviors, aggressiveness versus kindness, rage, noble and narcissistic behaviors, influential behaviors, we often equate how we are being with who we are, we replicant undesirable repetitions that are not healthy for our well-being but can’t seem to stop it, sad sagas, basic essentials to our every day needs, frustrations, conception to adolescence, the environment, the conditions in which we live where development takes place —either meets our needs or not— genetics, invention, habits,
  facets of trauma, interpersonal biology, diseases in the immune system, expectations, evolutions, psychological denials, cultural and social interactions, westerners and indigenous people connecting, community,
  traditions, a condition of caring, harmony, and equilibrium, thriving versus suffering, modern received wisdom, fundamentally selfish, our capitalistic society, and true to oneself, a sturdy or fragile foundation,
  honoring children, heroes, respect for personhood, urgent norms, we discover who we are from the inside, we are ‘feeling’ creatures, Eckert Tolle, apparition of rationality, the nervous system that regulate our unconscious thoughts and actions, early behavior years — research has shown that early experiences mold behaviors, emotional beliefs, learning styirs, relationship dynamics, and the ability to handle stress,
  the architecture of the brain begins before birth and continues into adulthood,
  child/adult early development sets the stage with the strength or weakness of their emotional connection with theyself,
  parent blaming is not only cruel but it’s nonsensical, childcare, education, ADHD, social media, Doctor’s research, chronically missing the goal of society, failure to grasp the need of the developing child, energetic presence, welcomed and wanted, guidance, naughty or nice, setting boundaries, compromised growth, security, lack of security,
  despite all of our love for our children, we, as parents don’t always know how to fulfill all that they require, limitations, early nurturing and warmth have a long lasting impact on mental health well into adulthood, we are wired to connect with one another which we learned from early childhood with our caregivers,
  fear, panic, lust, play, parent/child attachment affects for decades later. Anxiety and depression, It takes a toxic culture to raise a child, parental preferences versus children’s needs, alienation from one’s own instincts, physical molding of children, abuse,
  Parenting Manuels and a source to social conformity,
  chronic resistance to sleep in infancy, antidote to chaos, dictates of society, Dr. Spock’s baby childcare,
  “when a baby is born a mother is born”, the family unit built in physiologically and emotionally caretaking, imaging studies, complex brain structures, skin to skin contact between Mother’s and infant, our culture has become contact starved, the evolved list of raising a baby,
  Soothing and responsiveness,
  Frequent breast-feeding,
  Positive social support for both mother and infant,
  Native free play and nature
  Constant physical touch during the first year of a child’s life, circumcision, respect and dignity for the baby, wine spots when it comes to children, punishment, an absence of punishment, maternal misery an infant stress, why I no longer believe that babies should cry themselves to sleep, the torture of ignoring a babies cries because the doctor says to do that and the hurt it is for a mom,
  Pre-frontal lobe bullshit,
  physically available yet not emotionally available,
  economic anxiety, American children most likely will be less prosperous than their parents for the first time in history, lonely parents, The more support the parents can receive for their own needs it better they can supply for their children’s needs, Socialized childcare for all type policies where all the mundane tasks get taken care of so that the mother can simply stay in bed and nurse her baby, Community is where the children play with the other children on their street and all of their parents are surrogate parents to one another’s kids, local stores are becoming an endangered species, more and more of us drive, often by ourselves too far away places rather than close by facilities,
  Segregated schools church participation is dwindling, we have been pulled apart from one another and our communities in recent days, we have become fish out of water, Joni Mitchell got it right… “we really don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone”,
  forcing the brain in the wrong direction in childhood, Mother blaming, parents don’t raise their children in isolation from society, denial of a child’s needs, misinformation yes parents receive and how to raise their young, pressures to compete, exploitation in small children and youth, parents try to do their best… their best has been constrained from things they didn’t understand,
  being aware that guilt, blame, and shame are not helpful, we need to put aside blaming parents and take a good look at the challenge of raising children in a toxic environment, silence, poverty, despair, paranoia, the departure of adults involved with kids daily lives, weakening of family ties,
  brain circuits going haywire,
  an attachment void, peer groups and seeking acceptance, holding onto our kids and why parenting relationships are more important to our children and their peer friendships, consumed by expectations keeping a child from normal maturing long into their adulthood, …..
  and….
  I haven’t even skimmed the surface.
  
  Like I said �� my brain went haywire!
  It was too much - perhaps accurate - perhaps written with passion, purpose, and research ….
  but in reality, I felt this book was too toxic itself … triggering more devastating facts about the ways early childhood trauma has
  harmed one’s brain — causing life long problems into adulthood…..(society being a culprit)….that there is no way in hell any one reader will walk away experiencing health, happiness, and empowerment into anything tangible.
  
  I don’t particularly recommend reading it ….
  unless ….
  one enjoys pointing to every failure made to man about every day modern life.
  The mental-game-playing (investigation of society’s failures)….
  …. all that is wrong with our education, poverty, racism, environmental conditions, parenting, healthcare system, etc. and the interplay between body and mind ….
  just might add to the wacky absurdities….
  sooooo much so ….
  that it’s possible by the end of these 18 hours — the best solution might be to toss the book out the window …
  because it ‘feed’ more craziness into the brain than it takes away.
  
  A very informative non-fun book.
  But….
  I wouldn’t give this book to my best friend.
  I came away feeling less inspired about the conditions of life than before I started it.
  
  Right now - today - my own hospital is in crisis. Over 20,000 mental health workers have been on strike for the past six weeks. There is no solution — no transformative resolution.
  It’s the longest mental health strike in the history of our country.
  Clearly — ‘understanding’ trauma is not enough.
  
  “The Myth of Normal” — for me — ‘added’ — to the meshugena problems and insanity of mental health.
  
  Exhausted, powerless, and came away with a resigned experience!
  
  2 stars….. as I wouldn’t give this academic-in-nature-overly assuming-book to my best friend.
• 
  Kevin

  The Myth of Jordan Peterson?
  
  Preamble:
  --Before you celebrate or groan, let me clarify that direct mentions of
  Jordan B. Peterson are only featured in one chapter, on parenting. Peterson’s 2018 best-seller (
  12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos) is, after all, cleverly packaged as a self-help book, so it features plenty of vague “See the truth. Tell the truth.”, “order and chaos” generalities to lure us in and interpret in our own ways if our confirmation biases are susceptible to his convenient omissions/framing.
  --My comparison considers the politics/philosophy behind their general approaches with addressing individual and social ills. Both start from careers involving psychology, in Canada:
  a) Peterson, a clinical psychologist (although his massive popularity was spurred by politicized media from his 2016 YouTube videos critiquing a Canadian gender identity discrimination bill).
  b) Maté, a physician with a focus on addiction/trauma/mental illness.
  …A comparison is revealing for both sides; I’m particularly fascinated with the ways Peterson attracts audiences with often similar concerns (although perhaps differences in confirmation biases) only to lead them down opposing paths.
  
  Highlights:
  
  --General approaches:
  i) Identifying causes:
  a) Peterson’s “chaos” from “Western civilization” losing traditional Christian values (lack of meaning leading to nihilism’s “chaos”) because of Western science’s “materialist” overreach and “postmodern Neo-Marxist” “political correctness” trying to evade conflicts. (Note: capitalism/colonialism are avoided).
  b) Maté’s “toxic culture” of capitalism/colonialism (society dominated by a volatile economy driven by the singular, asocial value of private profits) forcing constant dislocation, colonizing communal social relations and leaving behind normalized alienation.
  
  ii) Solutions (individual):
  a) Peterson’s self-help to find personal meaning in Christian values while normalizing trauma to best fit into the meritocratic hierarchy.
  b) Maté’s self-inquiry to heal from trauma-normalization and build self-authenticity.
  
  iii) Solutions (social):
  a) Peterson’s faith in Western tradition’s meritocratic hierarchy (thus, the fix is on the individual level).
  b) Maté’s challenge of “toxic culture” (capitalism/colonialism/bigotry/old science’s reductionism) with decolonization to rebuild communal relations/social values, incorporating new science’s holistic systems understanding (specifically: trauma-informed biopsychosocial medicine).
  
  
  --Unpacking Maté step-by-step (and side-by-side Peterson):
  
  1) Old science’s reductionist materialism:
  --Peterson frames Western science as a “materialist” response to institutional Christianity’s difficulties in addressing real-world material conditions/suffering (as Christianity focused on spiritual salvation). Despite material gains, immaterial Christian values were forgotten which science’s materialism could not replace, eroding “Western civilization” and opening the door to nihilism’s despair or utopic “totalitarianism”. The lure is the acknowledgment of growing concerns over the lack of social meaning/values and stress from volatility (“chaos”).
  --Maté also addresses such concerns and wants to revive the immaterial (Ch.2: Living in an Immaterial World: Emotions, Health, and the Body-Mind Unity). Of course, Maté takes a different direction since Peterson predictably avoids key historical drivers behind Western science: capitalism/colonialism, i.e. technical and ideological innovations in profit-seeking and conquest (Peterson breaking his own “RULE #8: Tell the truth—or, at least, don’t lie” with a convenient “sin of omission”).
  --I’ll refer to this as “old science” and use this section to fill in the big picture context which Maté only hints at. Old science’s powers of discovery relied on deconstruction (we can visualize with words like “dissecting”, “atomizing”, etc.); weaponized by cancerous, asocial profit-seeking, this led to a reductionist materialism: humans were reduced to labour (an input for capitalist production) which was reduced to body parts and mechanized with machines to maximize profits in the “dark Satanic mills” (William Blake, 1808) of the Industrial Revolution. We can also witness society’s anxieties of tragedy (esp. loss of human control) in this great transformation of old science’s reductionist mechanization in
  Frankenstein (1818).
  --As Europe’s social crisis mounted (only relieved with migration to settler colonies), foreign societies were reduced to raw materials (colonial plantations) and even cheaper body parts (slaves, “coolies”) to feed Western industrialization. This is capitalism’s materialism, to fulfil the viral logic of endless private accumulation; this abstract, asocial mechanization has only grown to haunt our social imagination since 1818 Frankenstein, from Charlie Chaplin’s 1936 film Modern Times to 1999 film The Matrix.
  --A cultural consequence has been the wiping away of social values (both domestic and foreign) of unity/balance (between mind/body/spirit; human/nature):
  -ex. for Descartes’ dualism in Western old science separating mind vs. body, human vs. nature, etc., see
  Less is More: How Degrowth Will Save the World, in particular Ch.1 “Capitalism – A Creation Story” vs. Ch.6 “Everything is Connected”.
  -ex. see Ch.8 of
  This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. The Climate:

  The institution [The Royal Society, the pioneering scientific academy founded in 1660] was at the forefront of Britain’s colonial project, sponsoring voyages by Captain James Cook (including the one in which he laid claim to New Zealand), and for over forty years the Royal Society was led by one of Cook’s fellow explorers, the wealthy botanist Joseph Banks, described by a British colonial official as “the staunchest imperialist of the day.” [emphases added]

  --Instead of only critiquing science’s values (Peterson), what is capitalism’s value system? (See later). Furthermore, Peterson can only counter his vague science-materialism by proselytizing the immaterial values of the Christian Bible, a non-solution when he accepts capitalism (will the Bible be sufficient for capitalist profit-seeking, besides selling Peterson’s self-help books and filling arenas for megachurches? What will this do to traditional values?). The sad irony is that Peterson also blames “postmodern/neo-Marxist” ideology for destroying his traditional values, when the only Marxist book (pamphlet, really) he seems bothered to read identifies the capitalist culprit:

  Constant revolutionising of production, uninterrupted disturbance of all social conditions, everlasting uncertainty and agitation distinguish the bourgeois epoch [i.e. capitalism, with its singular endless profit-seeking, competition’s “creative destruction”, boom/bust volatility] from all earlier ones. All fixed, fast-frozen relations, with their train of ancient and venerable prejudices and opinions, are swept away, all new-formed ones become antiquated before they can ossify. All that is solid melts into air, all that is holy is profaned, and man is at last compelled to face with sober senses, his real condition of life, and his relations with his kind. [-
  The Communist Manifesto; emphases added; sadly, the last bit has not occurred for reactionaries like Peterson]

  
  2) New science’s holistic synthesis:
  --Returning to Maté, old science’s reductionist materialism created a Western medical paradigm that:
  i) Reduces complexities of human health to biology.
  ii) Separates mind vs. body.
  --Maté confronts this directly with “new science”. Note: relatively “new” in Western science, i.e. complex systems where the overall system is greater than the sum of its reductionist parts (
  Thinking in Systems: A Primer); also, as long as capitalism remains the economic driver, “new science” cannot transform the real world (ex. climate science vs. current practice).
  --Applied to medicine, this requires a new paradigm: biopsychosocial medicine. In other words, social health far broader than a 15-minute doctor visit when things are already falling apart for symptomatic, drug-induced relief/isolated interventions.
  --Reductionist biology focuses on genetics. However, hopes for the holy grail of genetic answers for illnesses have receded with the lackluster Human Genome Project, replaced with the growing recognition of epigenetics: environmental experiences triggering gene expression.
  --Maté starts with trauma, especially a broader definition that features conflicts in:
  i) Attachment: social belonging, starting with parental nurturing.
  ii) Authenticity: autonomy, our true nature, which needs to be developed.
  --Human’s uniquely long infancy is particularly vulnerable to trauma. Human infants are so undeveloped for so long that the typical defensive responses of fight or flight are not available. So, the remaining survival mechanism to trauma is freeze: suppression (in a sense, self-blame) is more tolerable than fearing the environment (esp. the parents) is dangerous with no escape.
  --However, as infants lack rationality/conscious decision-making, this risks the freeze response becoming stuck, derailing the healthy development of response flexibility. This disconnection starts to manifest as chronic self-blame, lack of self-worth, anxiety, self-harm, etc. The infant is taught that only certain parts of themselves are acceptable, stunting development of authenticity (compare with Peterson on parenting, see later!). I was particularly disturbed by the infant’s freeze response lacking conscious control (“suppression” = conscious), hiding more in the subconscious (“repression”); this means while chronic stress manifests in the body (triggering inflammation, increasing susceptibility to mental/auto-immune illnesses etc.; see Maté’s
  When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress), the mind does not detect it. Signals (ex. pain) are crucial for keeping us safe, to warn us to adjust our behaviors.
  --Rather than relying on Peterson’s convenient crutch of “life is suffering” (God’s mysterious ways, or the reductionist-materialist equivalent of random genetics/bad luck), new science’s biopsychosocial medicine is exploring the complex unifying relations at play. Instead of merely treating illness (especially chronic illness and its growing prevalence) as external invaders that must be defeated in a war, illnesses may provide signals/meaning of deeper imbalances (“disease as teacher”). Maté is most renowned for his work on addiction as a coping mechanism to pain/social dislocation, rather than the focus on genetics/chemicals:
  In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction. Another vivid example is certain personality traits and cancers. Such complexities should not be reduced to simple linear causations, but completely neglecting such relations is also not helpful.
  
  ...see comments below for rest of review...
• 
  Elise Loehnen

  An essential text of hard-won wisdom from one of our culture’s wisest leaders. Gabor touches on all facets of culture and society, from psychoneurobiology, to addiction, to what it means to be alive, offering insight, some hope, and the world’s most stunning bibliography of resources. Buttressed with research and personal story, it’s also a beautiful read.
• 
  Danny G

  And once again Gabor has me questioning everything I thought I knew about myself.
  
  I've noticed the negative reviews will usually say 1 of 2 things: This book is pessimistic without offering decent solutions and that there is a lot of parent-blaming.
  I think this heavily depends on the reader and what their intention is going into this book. What some saw as doom-inducing analysis with no happy-ending, I saw as an opportunity to see the full scope of environmental influences, the ones my trauma-informed personality never let me see.
  
  I felt lighter with each page, dissecting all the oppressive beliefs I had never questioned. I saw all the responsibility I unrightfully carried, all the 'your not one of them,' 'you are stupid and worthless,' 'your pain is due to your own hands.' That doesn't mean I shifted the blame to my parents or culture or shitty high school boyfriend, Instead I finally looked adolescent Danny in the eye with compassion, the Danny I wasn't on talking terms with for years.
  
  Somewhere in the book one of Gabor's patients said that addiction saved his life and it shook me to tears. I spent my whole life blaming all my flaws and downfalls on my addictions. They were the reason I wasn't well-educated, that I didn't go to University, the reason I lost friends and disgraced family, but in all honestly, my vices are the only reason I stayed alive. That unendurable pain and confusions as a 16-year-old is the reason I found refuge in alcohol and drugs and they became the soft pillow I'd cry into every night.
  
  With these and many other discoveries, I saw hope, not doom. None of this is innate nor indisputable, everything I thought I knew about myself and what surrounds me is on trial and I am finally the judge.
  
  Confucius said to nurture a healthy nation we must first start with ourselves. Once we are healthy, it will reflect onto our family, once our family is healthy, it will reflect onto our community, once the community is healthy, it will reflect onto our nation.
  
  If you are looking to peel away the toxic excess, this book is definitely for you.
• 
  Sippy

  2.5 ⭐
  Some parts of this book were really good and resonated with me. Many parts didn't and the further I got into the book the more I skipped and sometimes scanned as a result of it.
  
  Too many anecdotes of famous and unknown people, that get tiresome after a while. Too broad too all over the place. Too often seamingly confusing correlation and causation, questions about direction of causation and unmentioned but likely intervening variables that need expliciting.
  
  Maté is at his best, when he sticks to his own field, it is more condensed, more precise and correlation and causation seem better researched, explicited and explained.
  
  Still happy I got to read the better chapters and also happy I allowed myself to simply skip what wasn't of enough interest to me personally. Time I would never get back, as I, for one, will only live once. Amen.
  
  
  ---
  Long review in Dutch/Uitgebreide Nederlandstalige boekbespreking:
  https://zinvollerleven.nl/the-myth-of...
• 
  Marsha

  This is a sobering book about the toxicity of our society and how to make things better. While I enjoy the author's voice and respect his scholarship, this was too much to be packed in to a single book. In some ways, it overwhelms the reader. If you buy this, approach it a bit at a time. Otherwise it can be like trying to take a sip of water from a fire-hydrant.
• 
  Canadian Reader

  Rating: 2.5
  
  Gabor Maté is a physician-author who has long been interested in the psychological and social factors that impact patients’ health. He’s written books on ADHD, addiction, and psychosomatic medicine, and co-authored one on child development. In all his books, he’s demonstrated particular interest in attachment theory—ideas concerning children’s relationships with primary caregivers—and the long-lasting effects of distressing early-life experiences. “Health and illness are not random states in a particular body or body part,” he writes in his new book. “They are, in fact, an expression of an entire life lived, one that cannot, in turn, be understood in isolation” and arise from “a web of circumstances, relationships, events, and experiences.”
  
  Maté opines that we live in a toxic culture. What we have come to accept as “normal” is actually abnormal and fails to meet natural, inborn needs. In terms of physical health alone, stats from the US, “the epicentre of the globalized economy,” speak volumes about how wrong things are: 60% of American adults have a chronic disorder, such as diabetes or hypertension; over 40% have two or more such conditions; and nearly 70% are on at least one prescription medication. Diagnoses of mental illness, especially anxiety and depression, are also skyrocketing in the Western world.
  
  Other health professionals might reasonably attribute at least some of these conditions to the daily consumption of ultra-processed foods, which set people up for metabolic syndrome—insulin resistance, high blood pressure, and obesity—as well as autoimmune disease. Harvard psychiatrist Christopher Palmer has recently put forward the theory that psychiatric illness may arise from dysfunction of mitochondria, the “powerhouses” of cells that turn glucose into ATP, the compound that fuels physiological processes. Palmer has noted that metabolic disorders and cardiovascular disease rates are extremely high in those who suffer from severe mental illness. Psychiatric conditions, therefore, may essentially be metabolic disorders. Maté, however, is almost exclusively focused on how our society’s failure to meet human needs creates stress (or “trauma”), which in turn causes physical and mental dysfunction. Chronically stressed people’s bodies are flooded with the hormones adrenaline and cortisol. Tissues become inflamed, blood vessels narrow, blood clots form, bones can thin, and the immune system, which normally destroys aberrant cells (including cancer), is suppressed.
  
  In the first of the five parts of his book, Maté expands the concept of trauma. The word is generally used to characterize profound distress related to the experience of war, natural disasters, or extreme abuse. He believes there’s another dimension: what he calls “small-t” trauma, the painful daily events that adversely affect individuals and predispose them to both physical and mental illness. He states many times that it’s not what happens to you, but what happens inside you that is the issue. It doesn’t take a war; a person can become disturbed in seemingly “normal” environments. People with psychic wounds carry residual burdens: suppressed, repressed, or unexamined emotions; shame; poor coping techniques; and automatic neurotic reactions. There appears to be no shortage of papers linking suppressed anger/“niceness,” PTSD, grief, or a history of child sexual abuse to a variety of ailments, including cancer, ALS, or cardiovascular disease.
  
  Maté believes that only a few outliers in our society are not traumatized. I don’t buy this, probably because I do not think of “trauma” and being “traumatized”—nor do I use those words—as liberally as Maté does. I believe there’s value in differentiating between intense, disabling distress arising from extreme conditions or life-threatening events and the suffering that is the result of, say, less skillful or poorly “attuned” parenting. This is not to deny that emotionally painful events—in the family, for example—can cast a long shadow. Maté points to studies that show that stress can impact humans even before birth. The quality of a potential father’s sperm can apparently be affected by the life pressures the man is under, and the development of a fetus’s stress apparatus can be compromised by the tensions or depression experienced by the mother. Ideally, negative stress should be minimized, but in reality expectant mothers cannot avoid exposure.
  
  Parts II and III of The Myth of Normal focus in turn on the distortion of human development and the need to look at afflictions as adaptations. Maté writes about the ways that children’s needs in particular go unmet. The problem starts with the medicalization of pregnancy and birth and parents’ deferring to experts rather than trusting their own instincts about what their kids need. (In my opinion, he presented no compelling evidence to support either of these ideas.) He does single out Dr. Benjamin Spock’s 1946 Baby and Child Care, which continues to have some influence on childrearing practices. In that bestseller, Spock counselled parents not to respond to an infant’s cries once the child had been put to bed. The baby needed to learn that nighttime was for sleeping; “tyrannical” tendencies had to be curbed. Maté counters that a caregiver’s failure to respond to children’s distress induces panic. The preverbal child gets the message that the world is unsafe, that no one will help him when he’s scared. Anxiety and other psychological problems begin to take root. According to Maté, two human needs—attachment and authenticity—compete during childhood. Attachment, he says, will always win out over authenticity. The child learns early that nothing must threaten the bond with his parent; survival depends on it. If certain of the child’s tendencies—the expression of anger, for example—are considered unacceptable or unlikeable by the parent, the child will suppress or repress them so as not to compromise the relationship. It is this stifling of aspects of one’s essential nature that leads to problems, including physical illness, down the road. I think this is a valuable insight, but I’m doubtful that a child’s having a time-out to calm down after an angry or aggressive outburst (for hitting a sibling, for example, or not getting something he wants) is going to damage him for life. Learning to self-regulate and self-soothe are important early lessons.
  
  Maté summarily dismisses genetics and contends that many mental afflictions are understandable adaptations to needs that went unmet early in life. He laments that so few clinicians ask patients, even those who present with autoimmune disorders, what they’ve gone through in the time leading up to symptom presentation. For him, the clues lie in the patient’s story. Maté goes so far as to suggest that even the delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia of a psychotic patient make sense in light of the person’s early-life story. He presents cases in which extreme psychiatric symptoms resolved when patients were invited to tell what happened to them or to articulate what they believed to be the problem. If only it were that simple. It may work for some, but severely mentally ill people often experience anosognosia: they don’t recognize they are ill and are incapable of being insightful about their condition. Maté does allow that such patients’ understanding may be facilitated by the use of psychotropic drugs.
  
  In Part IV, the author tackles the sense of dislocation and lack of meaning many feel in Western capitalist society, where sociopathic corporations reign supreme. I found his brief discussion of our polarized political scene and the psychology underpinning people’s attraction to certain types of leaders interesting to read.
  
  In the fifth and final part, Maté presents ways that healing might occur, as well as a few, hardly typical, stories of people who have been transformed by (and, in one case, spontaneously freed of) severe illness. He outlines principles and exercises for psychological healing, including a practice he calls “compassionate inquiry,” which struck me as a useful tool. Maté himself has undergone treatment with psychedelics and has facilitated retreats in which ayahuasca, a traditional South American psychoactive drink, is used. Seeking answers to individual life problems and insights into personal conflicts, retreat participants drink the bitter brew during ceremonies guided by indigenous shamans. I was surprised to read about this New-Age-style direction in Maté’s work—though I’m aware that psilocybin is being investigated as a treatment for depression and end-of-life distress. Many aspects of Maté’s work, including his interest in early trauma, reminded me of psychiatrist Stanislav Grof’s preoccupations. Years ago, Grof, one of the founders of transpersonal psychology, pioneered experiments with psychedelics, believing that these substances could provide people with transcendent or mystical experiences. Like psychologist Arthur Janov, who developed Primal Scream Therapy, Grof was also keenly interested in birth trauma. He thought hallucinogens might allow patients to retrieve otherwise inaccessible early memories. It seems that those ideas never went away.
  
  The Myth of Normal is an ambitious and very long book. With endnotes included, the print version runs to an excessive 576 pages. Maté has synthesized a large body of information and refers to the research and big ideas of many social and neuroscientists, but at times it appeared to me that he wanted to document everything he’d read and every interview he’d conducted pertaining to his subject. A judicious selection of supporting evidence would’ve cut the book in half and increased its readability. I particularly question the need for separate “Woke” chapters on race and socioeconomic status, women and the patriarchy, and the medicalization of childbirth. These three chapters could easily have been collapsed into a single short one. Was the race and gender material (complete with pronouns and critical-race-theory/identity-politics jargon) actually necessary, or was it included primarily to put the author’s commitment to “social justice” on display? Only those who’ve lived under a rock for the past few years would be unacquainted with the key points in the chapter. Another feature of the book that I found strange in its excess was the author’s frequent obeisance to his wife, Rae, for her wisdom and forbearance in the face of his neuroses and self-absorption. At one point, he observes, “I talk a much better gender-equality game than I sometimes play.” Maybe the Rae-themed hymns of praise are further evidence of that tendency.
  
  Having said all this, I did appreciate Maté’s discussion of the (new-to-me) work of many scientists and researchers. Also valuable were recaps of his interviews with people familiar with the food industry and big-tech’s strategies to hook people on their products—sugary or electronic. These corporations employ neuroscientists who can advise on how best to exploit the brain’s dopamine (reward/motivation/pleasure) pathways. Maté’s consideration of addiction is also informed and illuminating. This perhaps shouldn’t surprise, as he spent many years working with the homeless, marginalized, and addicted people of Vancouver’s notorious Downtown Eastside. However it’s not clear why he chose to present quite so many snippets of his interviews with celebrities—including Darrell Hammond of Saturday Night Live fame, Lena Dunham, and Alanis Morrisette. After a while, I became irritated by these reports on the famous, which felt like so much name-dropping, but it’s possible that they were intended to highlight that the “successful” can be as troubled or addicted as the down-and-out.
  
  In the end, I have a very mixed response to this book. I found some sections absolutely tedious. I did not see the themes as at all “groundbreaking,” but it’s possible that those who’ve never read Maté before might think otherwise. To me the book was mostly preaching to the choir. No doubt Maté’s audience of thoughtful readers already know the world is a pretty messed-up place and that stress obviously has a lot to do with both physical and mental illness. However, I think many illnesses are multifactorial, and to suggest that almost all are due to adverse events of early childhood and the stresses of living in Western capitalist society is gross oversimplification. (Our mammalian animal friends, cats and dogs, get cancer too. Can we attribute this to early, small-t trauma of kittenhood and puppyhood? Could pet cancers be due to our human failure to meet our companions’ needs? They have bodies and emotions that function like ours, after all. We’re not as different as we might think. Chemical exposure, poor quality food, overfeeding, and genetic factors seem the more likely culprits.) While I can’t say I disagree that the ills of our society are multitudinous, by the halfway point in the book I felt overloaded, even oppressed, by the dysfunction laid before me. Even an occasional nod to human resilience would have been received with gratitude. At one point Maté comments on his “wondrously stubborn Eeyore setting;” I’d argue that the tone of The Myth of Normal generally reflects the author’s self-identified temperamental default. I regularly considered bailing, but did manage to complete this book relatively free of trauma. Overall, I’m relieved that the experience is over.
  
  Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher, Penguin Random House Canada, for providing me with a digital copy of the book for review.
• 
  Iris

  i’m gonna be honest, i had higher expectations given how much this book was promoted on a lot of influential podcasts that i enjoy. while the principles of this book (treating patients with autonomy, the impact of small traumas, and healing/therapy/meditation/mindfulness) are important, it lacks scientific rigor and relies on a lot of “anecdata”.
• 
  Harry

  This book is such a gift - Gabor Maté’s work here is a revelation as he takes a deep dive into some of the most challenging and complex parts of what it means to be human.
  
  Maté surgically disassembles our culture’s atomized and individualistic self help obsession as an avenue for personal growth and healing and instead emphasizes a process of “self retrieval.” A discovery of the parts of ourselves we’ve locked away as a result of trauma developed from our relationships and larger culture milieu.
  
  America has a cruel obsession with blaming people for their circumstances and poor choices, as well as a conservative-driven stance that social safety nets and critical analysis of “isms” are signifiers of people’s laziness and refusal to take accountability for their actions. Maté skillfully dispels these notions and illuminates how our environment shapes us on a cellular and neurological level - while also identifying capitalism, racism, and sexism as predictors and developers of illness and trauma.
  
  99% of self help in our current day and age spectacularly fails to meet the moment of the 21st century. That is, they lack the *material* analysis necessary to account for our dissatisfaction and mental illness. Capitalism is the most sweeping economic ideology of our time. Its logic is not merely confined to trade and finance, but governs and defines our entire lives from cradle to grave. Much of the reductive self improvement media available disregards the dire mental strain of having to sell our labor value simply to meet our basic needs all the while living in an unstable system prone to shocks and instability. Our livelihoods are entirely subservient to corporations and the paradigm of profit. Maté correctly identifies this poisonous and UNSUSTAINABLE social dynamic (as well as the racism and sexism that follows along with it) as a critical element of the mental and physical health crisis that we are facing the world over.
  
  Maté turns an interrogative eye towards our personal relationships from birth onwards and how trauma can induce a split from oneself to ensure stability and survival - hence his conceit of “self retrieval.” He emphasizes the concept that trauma is not what happens to us - but our bodily response to things that happen or do not happen to us as we grow up. There is a powerful and affirming lesson here on how trauma can be a result not only of what is given to us, but of what is withheld. Many people conceive of their childhoods as traditionally “happy” in the sense that nothing supposedly happened to them - but were their emotional needs met? Can they feel secure and safe turning to their caregivers to affirm their feelings and experiences as they navigate the world? Not necessarily. This oft unintentional omission of security, we learn, is a trauma-generative process as well.
  
  “The Myth of Normal” is also an analysis of how the traumas in us that arise from our social and cultural environment contribute to our physiological make up and the relationship between our mind and body. As Bessel Van Der Kolk famously says, the body keeps the score. Trauma doesn’t just live in our brain, but begins to emerge in our bodies in an expansive range of conditions, illnesses, and coping mechanisms that wear us down or even, eventually, kill us. These passages speak to the collective American exhaustion and overall experience of the “too muchness” of our society today, as well as grim statistics concerning average life span, mental illness, and disease that continue to plague the wealthiest and most powerful nation in the world.
  
  Identifying the causes that drive these fragmentations of the self is critical in charting a course to healing. One has to look not only internally, but survey one’s relationships with their external environments and larger material circumstances to reconnect with the parts of oneself that have been suppressed and truly understand your humanity. I applaud Maté for taking a LONG OVERDUE and more concrete stance on what improving the self really takes and what it really means. It’s impossible not to see yourself and the ones you love within these pages as you start to peel back the layers of your own brain - a timely read for me as I feel like I’m just truly getting to know myself and who I really am at the age of 27.
• 
  Anne-marie

  Gabor Mate is a genius, I love his work. He speaks a lot of common sense and logic. He is ahead of the curve in promoting holistic medicine. His stance conveys firstly that a whole person should be treated, rather than symptoms; and secondly, that addressing “cause” may be more important than solving an "effect". The book is underpinned by his belief that body and mind are intrinsically connected. He expands this connection to include the context of how one responds to parenting, family life, community, culture, politics, environment, life experience; with each element impacting how a body and mind, physically and mentally, moves through life. He strongly suggests that mental health issues are a response to the events and experiences in our lives and have no biological basis. While medication helps to calm things down and enable reflection, it does not solve a core issue. It is therefore a supplementary, but not a solution.
  
  This book is in some respects written like a thesis or scientific paper. In the opening chapter, he sets out his argument, the journey, and his methodology. He states that his arc is to follow “cause, connection, consequence” when it comes to understanding health. My only criticism is that the underlying tone of the book emphasizes everything “today” is bad for us, implying things in the past were better; suggesting humankind has somehow lost its way. I am not sure that is entirely true. History tells many stories of war, dysfunction, struggle to survive, shorter life spans, restricted access to balanced diets, violence towards children and so on. My take is that we could probably make smarter use of the medical (and social) knowledge, technology, and capabilities that we have today and find a better way to thrive in our complex world. Ultimately, Mate seems to arrive at a point where he proposes there is a balance to be found in taking the best of the old and the new worlds, but first we need to address the extremities we have come to accept as normal.
  
  Mate writes very well, with a richness of expression, including a great opener “in the most health obsessed society ever, all is not well”. He later refers to “Trumps bloviating bluster and Hiltons hagiographic haze”, such a brilliant sentence of which there are many more. The book is well constructed and easy to read. It is loaded with references. This fact-based premise, alongside Mates’ proven reputation, lends this appeal to heal (ourselves and our world) a wealth of credibility. Given the scope covered and the depth of insights, it is quite an opus! In this call to action, he may not have all the answers, but he is asking all the right questions.
• 
  Loc'd Booktician

  This book did a really good job at depicting how trauma is a wound and injury. Thus we should be curious about the experiences of people versus being prone to following the DSM-5. This book also did a good job on tackling how toxic culture and trauma play a role in our society and made inferences of how our society will change and is changing. ‘
  
  There is so many notable moments in the book that it made it difficult to just listen to this book on audiobook. I hope to own the physical copy one day so I can highlight, re again and add my thoughts along the way. I did say my thoughts on this book on a recent vlog and have an upcoming vlog with more thoughts of this book.
  
  4.5 rating for me.
• 
  Robert Nolin

  Imagine this:
  
  You take your car into the shop, and the mechanic, reputed to be a mechanical genius, tells you all about your car, how it works, and how it can stop working correctly. Turns out how the car was made is important. Influences and so forth. You nod to show interest. You're assured this guy knows his business. "My car had a rough childhood," you tell him, and he nods sagely.
  
  But then this mechanic starts in about "globalization," "late-stage capitalism," and you start to look at your watch, thinking this was a mistake. "Yeah, both those parties are two legs in the same pair of pants. Corporations run America." Then he points to a leak coming from the undercarriage. "Got some nasty inflammation there, mate. You been driving some stressful roads lately?" He looks at you accusingly.
  
  "Look," you tell him, "I just wanted you to fix my car..."
  He's furious.
  "Fix. Your. Car. Are you serious? In this world? Ha! Nothing can be fixed, the whole system is broken..."
  As he breaks down sobbing, you quietly leave the repair shop. Luckily, all you lost was $30 on a book. Phew.
  
  
• 
  Juan Jacobo Bernal

  During the pandemic, I started studying Mate’s material. During these two years, I have been deeply immersed in a process of letting go the need of being nice and staring to be true and honest to my innermost needs.
  
  This book served to reinforce the messages that I am incorporating into my automatic behaviors. I specially appreciated the passages, within this book, where Dr. Mate explains exactly what healthy anger expression looks like.
  
• 
  Cindy

  Start to finish 497 pages of brilliance!
• 
  Kyle Erickson

  This is Mate's best book yet! I think having his son as a co-author really helped, because I thought the writing was more evocative and clear than his other books. Myth of Normal goes way further into many subjects that Mate has talked about before, as well as some new topics. There are chapters on pregnancy and prenatal development, politics, race, class, and gender; social media, depression - and a bunch of other salient topics that are all intertwined in how people interact with the world and deal with trauma/are traumatized. This will definitely be a book I re-read and I will recommend it widely!
• 
  Sonia, the neverending energy source

  I am here before this book becomes an international bestseller. When a Gabor Mate’s book comes out you know it’s gonna be good. Very good. In fact, so good that you go on an obsessive reading spree. And you can’t stop until you hear his voice into your head. Thank you, dr. I feel better&normal, whatever normal means, anyways.
  
  Full transparency, dr. Gabor Mate I wish you were my father, no further analysis of this wish is needed. Ahhhh.
  
  
• 
  Kemunto ❀

  detransition, baby is triggering me so much this'll be a comfort read inbetween reading it
• 
  Ciprian Barlog

  I wanted to finish once on for all with Mr Gabor Mate. I listened recently his 2003 book about the body saying no... 18 years passed before this latest book. Did something changed? Hard to believe but yes it did, but for the worse ...
  The introduction is ok. We hear again a lot of platitudes about the importance of stress and the multiples harms that he can cause. I even said to myself that maybe I judged him a little too harsh and this time he will be more reasonable. I was wrong...
  Soon after the first pages he started again with his attacks towards science: "chronic diseases exists because of childhood traumas, it's often better to denie hospital care because it will bring more harm, healing it's possible without the intervention of those mean doctors."
  Well... Mr Mate doesn't demonstrates he has a medical licence. Chapter after chapter, he keeps refering to pseudoscience ideas and his personal hints. It's excruciatingly difficult to hear all his bogus ideas. If a phrase sounds good (and some do) it doesn't make it right.
  I repeat: this person shouldn't be around people. His advices are not scientific. It's a bunch of nonsens...
  I don't recomand him at all.
• 
  Brandi Thompson

  tl;dr: A long, rambling book about the effect (real and perceived) of trauma on the body with some really good points, and some really terrible points.
  
  Talk about a polarizing book, woo. This was a long, and exhausting journey to get through. There are some really valuable points in this book, but, unfortunately, it is a scattered mess that also takes it to extremes. The bad thing about taking it to extremes is you then throw away all the valid points made in the book, because people's brains just shut off and say 'well, the whole thing must be bad' when that isn't the case.
  
  The pros:
  
  - I do agree heavily with the concept that too many medical professionals divide 'brain' and 'body' treatment, as if they are two different things, when it's all connected.
  
  - Trauma absolutely affects your body and your immune system.
  
  - He talks quite a bit about social inequities and their effects on marginalized people. For example: The maternal mortality rate for Black women being so much higher than for white women. This is something that needs to be a conversation in our society. I love that he brings it up, but unfortunately, he never provides any suggestions for this huge social issue.
  
  - He talks about the importance of protecting children and preventing trauma, and how children so often get the proverbial short end of the stick. Another conversation we need to be having. So much of the way society views and treats children does cause harm and prevents them from growing into the healthy adults we want them to be.
  
  - He has extensive experience working with people dealing with addiction, and how the root of addiction is people who are suffering and in need. That is so true, and that's something else our society needs to continue to improve on, is not seeing addictions as a fault, but as an unmet need.
  
  The cons:
  
  - Lots of extremes. So, basically he says even IN UTERO "trauma", like a 'stressed mother' can cause 'diseases' like ADHD (which is not a disease). So, while yes, I do think pregnant people need support, and families need support, there is a lot said in here that feels like parent blaming (even though he claims he's not trying to do that). There is a LOT of stuff like "CIO causes lifelong trauma" (I never did CIO, but I find that a problematic statement), "parents being stressed out while a child is young causes lifelong trauma", etc. And, yes, elements of this are true. I know first hand that a very unstable family life is traumatic. Many of us know about ACE scores and c-ptsd, which are valid traumas and should be discussed, and supported. But, humans are going to get stressed. That's part of being human. His statements become extreme reaches, and it ruins the rest of it.
  
  - The book is just a jumbled mess. It's funny, as apparently the author is ADHD and even wrote an older book about 'curing' ADHD, but it makes me laugh, because this book is one long, random tangent that just radiates the ADHD brain process. Perhaps because I am ADHD, I could kind of keep up, but it was exhausting. It felt like there was no editor. It just jumped all over the place.
  
  - Some of his 'suggestions' or 'examples' of people who 'healed their trauma' are more extremes like someone who went mountain climbing with former members of the IRA, or someone 'forgiving' their abusers, and that magically 'healed' and erased their trauma somehow. Then, he does a whole chapter focused on the concept of healing via psilocybin experiences (specifically referring to stuff used by peoples in South America, etc). The thing is, again, I've actually READ research about microdosing with psilocybin, and seen research saying it can have a positive effect on traumatized brains. But, instead of using studies that actually hint of scientific proof, he instead tells a story about being in South America with 'shamans' and the ilk. Again, taking it to an extreme that is completely relatable to the majority of people, instead of sticking to the middle ground and using studies around microdosing of certain substances.
  
  - He says some really inappropriate and disturbing things about celebrities/political people that he's never met. He does SAY that he hasn't worked with them directly, but I still found his rambles about Trump, Hillary Clinton and especially Robin Williams, to be both pointless and even dangerous. He basically suggests had Robin Williams 'healed his inner trauma' he could still be alive today. It really, really left a bad taste in my mouth.
  
  - He also dedicates a substantial amount of space to 'spontaneous healing' with examples of people who had terminal cancer, who did some yoga (paraphrasing) and magically found themselves cured. Again, I DO think that any healing should be multifaceted, but it just smacks of 'woo' and dangerous pseudoscience. There are too many extremes for it to be taken seriously.
  
  - Ironically, in his chapter about the inequality of stress and demands placed on women, he closes the chapter by talking about the BENEFITS TO MEN if we can reduce the stress on women. It was just ironic (and eye rolling).
  
  ___________________
  
  All in all, had this book had some serious editing, it could have been great. But, it's mostly a jumble of stuff, and I find his attitude toward ADHD to be incredibly problematic. He constantly refers to ADHD as a 'disease' or similar terms, and suggesting that trauma causes ADHD. For me, there is a lack of conversation around correlation vs. causation. He ALMOST gets it at one point, with the quote "Children, especially highly sensitive children, can be wounded in multiple ways". So, for me, from the neurodiversity standpoint, I see neurodivergent people as more PRONE to trauma and more prone to illness, especially after living through trauma. He definitely seems to have a clear dividing line between ADHD and Autism, even though current research does NOT SUPPORT THAT. Research is showing more and more that ADHD and Autism (as well as other flavors of neurodivergent brains) are genetically connected. As far as mentioning Autism in the book, there are really only two mentions. One was mentioning a 'professional' who brings up two primary stereotypes of Autistic people 'having speech delays and lacking eye contact' and the other is talking very briefly about Greta Thunberg. He seems to cherry pick his 'data' to agree with his own, very biased, point of view.
  
  I think the author seems like an interesting person. He has some cool stories to tell. But, this book is heavily biased to the point of being problematic, and is framed up as scientific while using questionable resources to back up his claims. I think we DO need a shift in our medical model, and a better understanding of the brain/body connection, but I also believe some people are simply born disabled, or prone to highly sensitive brains and bodies, and that's regardless of trauma.
  
  If you choose to read this, please read it with a heavy dose of salt and good luck.
• 
  Rachel

  For what this book is and is intended to be, I think it's *chef's kiss* excellent. It's true that for me, as someone who's been researching and thinking about this stuff for years, a lot of this was really old news and not revolutionary at all (and as my former supervisor succinctly put it: a lot of repackaged basic arguments about medicalization). That aside, though, this is an amazing compendium of evidence and resources that I want everyone to read, and I purchased a copy once I'd already started reading the copy I had from the library mostly to be able to recommend and lend it out. Also, as an excellent compendium of resources, texts, and evidence, I wanted this on hand for my own reference too. As a work of public intellectualism meant to be accessible and personally meaningful and relevant to many, I think this is total A+ work and I am a big fan.
  
  Another critical point to make is that a lot of Gabor Maté's evidence is anecdotal, but first of all, he has an extremely rich anecdotal based from decades and decades of clinical practice. And second of all, these anecdotes are always paired with solid evidence from solid research, so they feel humanizing and effective rather than being presented as primary, only, or bad evidence. It serves an affective function that definitely works - and I don't find it problematic, but I was aware of its functioning on me as a reader.
  
  It's interesting that many other reviews seem to take issue with how little space Gabor Maté devoted to the healing/things to change portion of the book. I thought this part of it was short but super punchy, and most importantly, that everything that preceded was important and crucial for even the final points to land properly. I also don't think what he's doing here is trying to only provide a healing map, and I think the implications -- and tons of other resources that do point to that -- are super clear in this text, so I disagree that this portion should've been heavier or longer or more of a focus. In terms of what literature already exists out there, we have so much self-help type literature that helps and directs people with healing. But something like this for popular consumption, which actually begins to deconstruct the concept of normality and its roots and implications, as well as these conceptual questions around mental illness and wellness, is novel, needed, and important, at least from my vantage point.
  
  Those critiques also don't land with me because I feel that the whole book is extremely hopeful and rooted in very realistic, grounded optimism for each of our abilities to heal and be whole human beings. As a reader working on that, I found it very comforting and heartening, and didn't at all get the sense that there should've been more of a focus on healing - it's right there as a central theme threaded throughout the entire book!
  
  Anyway, this is what I wish I could say to everyone about mental health and illness in book format, so I loved this book and found it personally hopeful and transformative as a read too. So glad this text exists out in the world.
• 
  Férfi könyvvel a kezében

  Azt hiszem, soha ilyen kettős érzéseim nem voltak még egy könyvvel kapcsolatban sem.
  
  Alapvetően borzasztóan fontosnak tartom a múltunkban történő barangolást, hogy valós képet kapjunk a jelenünkről, arról, hogy kik is vagyunk valójában - azzal szemben, akit gondolunk, hogy vagyunk. Ezáltal válhatunk őszintévé magunkkal, ismerhetjük fel a berögzült, kártékony viselkedés-mechanizmusainkat, a megélt hiányainkat, és ezek pótlásával élhetjük az életünket egy elsősorban lelki, és szoros másodsorban testi egészségben. Persze ez a legtöbbek esetében gyermekkori traumák felfedését, vizsgálatát, és a gyógyulás folyamataként új, elfogadó köntösbe öltöztetését jelenti, mely folyamatra a legtöbben nem, vagy túl későn állnak készen, amikor már egy halállal fenyegető betegség kötelez önreflexióra.
  
  Mindezek tükrében Máté Gábor könyve borzasztóan fontos olvasmány lehet. Elindíthat egy úton, felnyithatja az olvasó szemét múltjával kapcsolatban, egy első lépés lehet a gyógyulásra. Viszont mindazok számára, akik nem teljes fogalmatlanságban nyújtják bele a kislábujjuk hegyét a trauma tematikájának tengerébe, azok valójában nem sokat profitálnak ebből a könyvből. Egy-egy érdekes gondolatmenetet leszámítva (ilyen lehet például a hogyan mondjunk nemeket és igeneket valamelyeset praktikusabb kérdésköre a könyv vége felé) semmi olyat nem nyújt a mű, amit ne tudna bármelyik másik hasonló könyv is.
  Sőt, azt gondolom, hogy a könyvet egészként vizsgálva borzasztóan kiütközik a nyilvánvaló tény, hogy bár Máté Gábor számtalan pszichológussal (és lelki problémákkal küzdő pácienssel) készített interjút, és idézi gondolataikat a könyvben, ő maga nem szakember. Sokat látott orvos, és nagy tiszteletben álló kutató is, de se nem pszichológus, se nem pszichiáter. Témaköröket vet fel, gondolatokat ébreszt, történeteket mesél el, és végtelenül sokat idéz másoktól, de a személyes hozzáadott értékből számomra hiányzott a szaktudás, a súly, a szakmai mélység. Nem csak a téma simogatása és körbeölelése szükséges különböző oldalról, hanem az asztalra is kell csapni néha. Csak persze ehhez tudni kell csapni..
  
  Emellett képtelen vagyok szó nélkül hagyni azt, hogy bizonyos tematikákban borzasztóan egyoldalú véleményeket fogalmaz meg a szerző, egyértelműen előtérbe helyezve bizonyos társadalmi csoportok hátrányos, áldozati helyzetét, az egyéni felelősség rovására. Ellentétes példa hiányában az lehet az olvasó benyomása, hogy kivétel nélkül minden esetben környezeti tényezők felelősek a későbbi rossz döntésekért, noha ez nyilvánvalóan nem igaz. Természetesen például a társadalomban előforduló rasszizmus okozhat traumatikus élményt, azonban nem feltétlen és nem minden esetben szolgálhat későbbi droghasználat, vagy éppen bűnelkövetés magyarázatául.
  
  Végezetül szeretném elmondani, hogy bár tisztában vagyok vele, hogy amerikai kutatók/szakemberek által írt művek esetében alapvetően ez a bevett szokás, de mégis, ennyi idézetnél BORZALMASAN idegesítő, és folyamatosan megakasztja a folyékony olvasást, hogy 1-2 oldalanként a mondat közepén (véletlenül se lábjegyzetben) kis túlzással az idézett kolléga fél önéletrajza fel van tüntetve. Ki ő, hol dolgozik, milyen könyvet írt, utóbbit persze angol és magyar nyelven is. Miért??
  
  Sajnálom, mert többet vártam ettől a könyvtől. Átfogó, mély és tartalmas műnek gondoltam, ehelyett kaptam egy ilyen ízetlen, színtelen, szagtalan valamit. Viszont ettől függetlenül örömmel látom, hogy jelenleg ez a Libri Top 1 könyve, ugyanis ez azt jelenti, hogy a magyar emberek elkezdtek foglalkozni a lelki világukkal, egészségesebben szeretnének élni, és ehhez hajlandóak is megtenni az első lépéseket. Ez pedig tényleg egy értékelendő dolog kishazánkban és ezért már megérte publikálni ezt a könyvet.
• 
  India M. Clamp

  Gabors' "The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture," is a text screaming to the current state of society (POVID19) many face now e.g. after being sequestered in a box called home/dosed with fear---this is a guide for achieving emancipation. Trauma is not light matter, nor is the treatment of such. Creating conditions to heal is paramount to recovery. Dr. Gabor Maté specializes in addiction treatment and hits us forcefully with facts like: “Nearly 70 percent of Americans are on at least one prescription drug."
  
  "In the milieu of life casualties from “big T” and “little t” trauma, the Matés argue – are omnipresent. The ways we contort our emotional architecture – perhaps as an essential matter of surviving childhood abuse, overt violence, or sudden catastrophe – are examples of ‘big T’ traumas."
  ---Dr. Gabor Maté
  
  Many traumas are like dust bunnies/monsters hiding underneath the bed which go unnoticed. Stress can be a trigger for these bunnies or monsters to become animated, jump out and grasp delicate parts of already compromised patients. These are the primary reasons why many shun natural remedies and thus slide down the muddy hill forcefully into a pit of addictive medication. Personal connections and community could be a non-side effect inducing solution. Communality may address (effectively) the tragic outcomes that grow unregulated from stress, alienation and isolation--which according to Maté should be demoralized. Togetherness, collaboration, communal activities and personal connections are positive non-capsulated remedies that humans can endeavor to give/receive. Read.
• 
  B. Glen Rotchin

  Much of this book resonated with me. It’s best described as a well-meaning smorgasbord of anecdote, personal reflection, and pop science / psychology (Jungian), with a smattering of Buddhism and post-colonialist leftist politics. I related to his characterization that the core of our emotional well-being is established by the difficult emotional trade-offs we make between our need for attachment and our need for authenticity. But then he attempts to expand the notion bullseye-like from the individual psyche to the society as a whole, with less success. It’s not terribly original to point out that early life trauma - and by early I mean really early, like in vitro - may have lasting impacts. By trauma the author means it in the broadest sense possible (what he calls big T and little t traumas.) But the wider he turns his lens the more vague and imprecise he becomes. Another foundational hypothesis of the book is that the emotional trauma we suffer (or rather the physical legacy or imprint it leaves in our bodies) is the cause of serious and chronic illness. But he never deals with the most obvious question: If virtually everyone has suffered from some trauma or other, why do only some of us develop serious illness? He suggests there is an interplay of genetics and epigenetics but can’t really make a convincing case for precisely how that works. He simply makes broad assertions, refers to this study or that, without detail, and tells many individual stories of illness and miraculous healing. Another question he never tackles, and in my mind an important one given his broader objective: If contemporary culture is so toxic (as opposed to indigenous culture which is characterized as closer to nature and therefore more authentic and healthier) what accounts for the fact more people are living longer and healthier lives today than ever before in human history by most globally recognized standards. Isn’t it obvious that the freedoms and advances in science generated by consumer-capitalism accounts for the progress? Maté is not absolutist in the sense that he rejects all specialized contemporary scientific achievement, he's all for medication (especially the use of hallucinogens as long as they are used in concert with deeper forms of wholistic therapies) which makes perfect sense, and he justifiably criticizes the medical profession for its technocratic approach. But he seems allergic to the possibility that there is anything salutary about contemporary western culture and society. It's a bit of a diatribe. At the end of the book he talks about the key to healing and seeking true authenticity being acknowledging the possibility that our preconceived ideas may be mistaken. Self justification is a coping mechanisms that can be toxic to our wellbeing. It felt a little like there was some of that in this book too.
• 
  Leifer

  Myth of Normal is likely Mate’s swan song, in which he connects his developing ideas from throughout his lifetime. This will be the epoch he leaves behind. Incredible, thoughtful, heartbreaking, and mesmerizing, still written in his distinctive speaking voice. Would recommend wholeheartedly to anyone who has struggled in their own body, felt discouraged by our overwhelming tide of culture, or simply wants to find their way back home to themselves.
• 
  Razvan Nita

  Cateva ganduri, acum cand am ajuns la jumatatea cartii:
  1) Pot afirma cu destula multa siguranta ca mi s-a acrit de cuvantul “trauma”.
  2) Am observant cateva lucruri in modul cum este scrisa cartea care ma “zgarie” pe creier:
  a) Folosirea unor verbe care implica “posibilitatea” si nu “certitudinea” cand se vorbeste despre rezultatele unor studii, de exeplu: “… studiul X pare ca dovedeste …” in loc de un simplu “dovedeste” , “studiul Y arata posibilitatea ca…” in loc de “arata”, “… rezulta din cercetarea Z ca pot influenta …” in loc de “influenteaza”, si cireasa de pe tort “ … exista dovezi care sugereaza …” sau “ … sugereaza cu tarie …”. Cred ca atunci cand construiesti o teorie care vrea sa schimbe lumea din temelii trebuie sa te bazezi pe rezultate sigure si nu “sugerate”
  b) Cand citeaza alte persone, multe dintre aceste citate sunt sub foma “ … X mi-a “marturisit/declarant/spus ca …”. Nu exista “note in josul paginii” despre aceste declaratii. Nu stiu cat de usor verificabile sunt aceste citate mai ales pentru ca ele vin sa sustina afirmatiile facute de GM in carte.
  c) Nu ma incanta folosirea formularilor de genul “marele intellectual X”, “multiutalentata artista Y”, “ marelui Z”, “ai faimosului, desi nu sufficient de faimos …”. La un moment dat in carte denunta technicile folosite in “asaltul corporatist asupra mintii copiilor”. Porbabil el foloseste aceleasi tehnici in carte pentru ca noi nu mai suntem copii.
  3) Sper ca in capitolele de final sa prezinte si niste solutii, pentru ca in prima jumatate nu am citit decat despre cat este de rau in sociatatea in care traim in prezent.
• 
  Kaitlyn

  This book was tough to read. Both because of the breadth and weight of the topics. But any book that changes you is a 5/5.