Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much by Jen Winston

Greedy: Notes from a Bisexual Who Wants Too Much Reviews

• 
  Jen

  Powerful. Hilarious. Iconic.
• 
  CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian

  A memoir in essays structured around the author's bisexuality and embracing rather than shamefully rejecting the stereotypes of being greedy, confused, slutty and indecisive. In theory I love this approach. In practice I don't have much in common with Winston and those experiences-- which hey, cool, the bi+ community is very diverse!
  
  But I did struggle to emotionally connect with some pieces (except for one about sexual assault which I found quite powerful). The voice is very millenial, chatty, and Internet-speaky, in a way that felt familiar to me but also made the author's individual personality a bit opaque. That said, it's a super readable book, one that I picked up intending to just have a look and then realized "Oh I guess I'm reading this now."
  
  There's a bit at the end about coming to a non-binary identity and using she/they pronouns. I was especially interested in hearing more about that journey, especially as it's compared to the flux and fluidity of bisexuality. But maybe that's their next book!
  
  I'm glad I read this book. It's one of those that didn't always necessarily speak to me, but that I am grateful is out in the world and that I know will be important to a lot of bi+ folks. Fans of Gaby Dunn's work will like this, I think.
  
  My favourite line was "It's like the gay and straight communities are our parents, and each thought the other was going to pick us up from school."
• 
  Brynn

  "Is bisexuality queer? In your head you know it is—another few years and you'll realize you're just as entitled to Chromatica Oreos as twinks are. But in your heart, you can't deny that bisexuality has never felt queer enough. It's never felt queer enough to talk about. It's never felt queer enough to take up space. It's never felt queer enough to lead you to community, or to show you who you are." (xix)
  
  "Back then you thought of yourself as straight plus gay—an identity made of old ingredients rather than something all its own. The only thing you knew was that you didn't know for sure—another bisexual who couldn't 'pick a side.'" (xxi)
  
  "Bi culture is everything. Which means bi culture is nothing. As annoying as this logic loop might be, it reflects exactly what it's like to be bisexual: to be told simultaneously that you are asking for too much and that you don't exist." (6)
  
  "Gay and lesbian bars, safe havens for some, are rarely safe havens for bi people. But where does that leave us to go? It's like the gay and straight communities are our parents and each thought the other would pick us up from school. We're left sitting on the curb, moping with our lunch box, until we decide to walk home." (12)
  
  "We became nightlife snobs (far and away the worse kind of snob—self-righteousness and ketamine make for a lethal combination), spending most of our time at warehouse parties so we could stay out after the bars closed." (79)
  
  "By this point I knew for certain that I needed to label my sexuality—if I didn't explicitly name my queerness, it seemed too slippery, like a bar of soap that would fly out of my hands. The word 'bisexual' gave me something external to hold on to, an 'oh shit' handle I could grab as the earth shifted beneath my feet." (188)
  
  "When I say Queer Love, I mean love that makes its own rules. Love that exists without borders and thrives without clean lines. Love that creates more space than it takes up." (244)
  
  "In that moment you must see the future, because somehow you know that this word—their name—will be important. A lump forms in your throat, but in a good way—like you're at the top of a roller coaster ready to drop." (248)
• 
  kyndal

  I went into reading Greedy extremely optimistic as a queer person who identifies as bi or bi adjacent.
  
  And there are some standout essays here: Knots, The Neon Sweater, the essay on Brinley.
  
  Ultimately, however, this book reads like a 280 page Instagram feed or Buzzfeed article written by someone who falls between Florence Given and Lena Dunham. While the author strives for self-awareness for me personally it didn’t land rather sounded obtuse and obligatory/self righteous. Winston’s upper middle class background underpins its entirety, perhaps making it relatable for some but for me it felt alienating and a flaunting of privilege more than anything. As a whole, it felt like an intro to social justice for someone who’d never read any other sources or works. The continual referral to Munoz, Audre Lorde and others feels like a brief summary of brilliant minds; save your time and read those thinkers instead.
  
  2.5 stars
• 
  Jessi Joan

  As a bisexual femme, I found this collection of essays to be affirming and validating. I really appreciated the honesty and vulnerability that sheds a little bit of light onto the weight bisexual and queer folks carry with them. We need more media that speaks honestly about bisexuality and works to break the stigmas that exist. This book is an example of that. Thank you to the author for sharing their experiences while also being mindful and aware of their privileges.
• 
  Bee

  2 stars. Everyone has a voice to be heard, and some of Winston's writing is relatable, validating, and necessary to hear. As a cis, bisexual woman, I was excited to read this book, which is likely why I felt so disappointed when I finished it.
  
  The formatting of the book, including unnecessary parentheses, footnotes, and other deviations after every couple of sentences, left me frustrated as a reader. This memoir is a great read for folks who enjoy Millennial/Gen-Z style writing. I personally found it to read like an extended Buzzfeed article with more pop media references than genuine thought.
  
  I felt conflicted by the nature of the virtue signaling throughout the book, especially since most of the information on Black and brown queer and trans authors was relegated to footnotes, or squeezed in between forced humor. I don't think this conveyed the respect that Winston intended. As they state in the beginning of their memoir, if you find yourself thinking that you should be reading the works of BIPOC queer voices and other voices of color, you certainly should read those instead. While this memoir had a few standout quotes, the perspective centers a white, upper-middle class lifestyle despite claiming to do the opposite.
  
  Nonetheless, I am happy that she accepted her identities and found a wonderful partner in Brinley. This book wasn't for me, but they deserved to tell their story, and hopefully the positive aspects of the book will connect more with other members of the bisexual community.
• 
  Qian Julie

  hilarious, honest, unputdownable. like hanging out with your coolest and funniest friend. whether you identify as bi or not, you need to read this book. it’ll make you laugh, it’ll make you think, it’ll make you see everything around you just a little bit differently. thank you Jen Winston for this gift of a book!!
• 
  Jessica

  As someone who identifies as bisexual, it was refreshing to hear another talk about the issues that arise dealing with both the hetero and queer communities. "Pick a side", "It's all about sex", "you're just greedy". Winston approaches the subject with more than a little humor, self observation, and stories that many of us can connect to.
• 
  Olivia Sedran

  This book was so refreshing and made me feel 10000% valid in my experiences as a bi woman. Jen is both hilarious and real at the same time. Absolutely recommend this to anyone who struggles with imposter syndrome and feeling like they’re “not queer enough”… this book will make you feel less alone.
• 
  Sophie - biblisophagist

  Greedy is honest, fast-paced, and truly laugh-out-loud funny. Each essay feels more like a conversation with a friend as you get to know them better and better through silly anecdotes and tough traumas.
  
  I connected to so much and felt so seen throughout this book even as each essay considered a new issue: desirability, consent, dating app culture, gender, girl crushes, etc. all tying back to bi culture and erasure. As a bi woman, it felt like a very validating read and helped me realize that it is OKAY to always question and grow and learn and unlearn.
  
  Interesting formatting in some of the essays and footnotes made the whole experience just as visually interesting and I felt educated even as I laughed along to some of Winston’s cringe childhood moments that mirrored my own. This book also gave me a whole list of references to other works that I can't wait to check out!
  
  I adored this book and I can't wait for more from Jen Winston!
  
  Thank you so much to @atriabooks and @netgalley for my copies of this book!
• 
  Courtney Blake

  I could not put this book down - it made me laugh, made me cry, and made me cringe so many times. Jen Winston’s writing is relatable and deeply thoughtful. While reading this, I even had the courage to come out as bisexual to my own mom. Her work is just that powerful. I wish I could wipe this book from my memory just to experience it for the first time again. I know I’ll be referring back to this text for years to come.
• 
  Roslyn Simmons

  I heard Jen doing an interview about the book on my way to work and instantly wanted to read this book. It was very open and honest, serious yet funny. I learned new terms and their meanings. I a new and different level of love and respect my LGBTQ friends. Thank you for sharing your truth with all of us.
• 
  Jesse Christensen

  Absolutely adored this book. Witty and poignant. I’m a weepy baby, so I frequently found myself tearing up. Everything I could want in a book about the nuances of one person’s experience with bisexuality.
  
  Perfect for anyone who falls under the Bi+ umbrella, has questioned their sexuality, or wondered if it was “too late” for them to come out.
• 
  Christine

  One Sentence Review: Hilariously validating.
• 
  Sydney Alexis Weinshel

  No singular review can put into words how important this book is. I’m shaken to my core by it’s humor, honesty, and humility.
• 
  Danielle Green

  I read this in two sittings and it was incredible. So funny, witty, heartfelt and made me feel so seen.
• 
  Medea Ghijsen

  Hilarious. Chaotic. Finally filled that void inside my soul.
• 
  Sarah Bernstein

  funny and made me feel ~seen. Loved 5/5
• 
  Filipa Lemcke

  I have never been a memoir person but I loved this one.
• 
  Chloe Halpenny

  yes 💖💜💙
  
  this isn’t going to be for everybody, but it absolutely was for me (you know when a book feels like it was kinda written…for you? yeah, that’s the sweet spot)
  
  more thoughts coming soon, maybe, but don’t hold me to that
• 
  amelia

  dnf @ around 65%. I had so many problems with this. I don't think I've ever been more disappointed to give a book two stars, but I also haven't disliked a book this much in a LONG time. some of the essays were really great and memorable, but they were absolutely few and far between. most of this book was chock-full of the most overt virtue signaling I have ever seen, self-deprecating comments about the author's privilege, and writing that sounded like a cringey instagram infographic had been turned into a book. the insertions of some social justice movements were incredibly inappropriate for the topics at hand, others were just misplaced.
  
  the essays were all over the place and the author was just directly quoting other activists without any fresh takes on ANYTHING most of the time. I went into this book expecting a nuanced discussion about bisexuality, culture, stereotypes, and dating, and got literally everything but that. this book was also a victim of the "buzzfeed writing" phenomenon. the endless footnotes were so hard to keep up with and half the time didn't add anything meaningful, and the asterisks were so hard to find that half the time I would have no idea what the footnotes were referencing. a good third of the book was just the author's dating and sex history, which was... fine? overall, the whole voice of the book just felt disconnected and overused, the same buzzwords seen in every millennial article being used instead to talk about how privileged and woke the author is. other reviewers have mentioned the virtue signaling in this book, but it truly is overwhelming. the author spends half the book talking about how she can't speak on issues because she's privileged and the other half speaking on those issues.
  
  there was one part that solidified the dnf-ing for me, when jen was talking about lesbians in media and said that femme lesbians "rely on heteronormativity," quoting another writer who said that they "reinforce the idea that lesbians are 'just like us', in other words, heterosexual." on the VERY next page jen says that there are "so many ways to be gay" as if she didn't just directly invalidate a way to be gay. I'm all for discussions of representation in media, especially within the lesbian community, but the context and wording of this part made me a TINY bit livid. I get the point of it, but the execution fell so flat. which was, actually, how I felt about the book as a whole.
  
  I don't hate the idea of this book, and there were parts of it I really did like. I think telling queer stories is incredibly important. but I also think this is going to age terribly- not just because of the references to memes and the impersonal writing, but also just because of some of the takes. I'd be interested to read what jen writes next, but I'm not rushing to recommend this one to anybody. if it worked for you, that's amazing. this book and I just really did not click.
• 
  Kobi

  I seriously don't think I've ever read such an engaging work of non-fiction. It literally felt like having a conversation with my friends outside of a gay bar we spontaneously dropped by, only to end up chain-smoking outside with a group of people we just met (one of them being a girl my friend had previously gone a date with but blew off) and guessing each other's zodiac signs (this did actually happen). I can honestly say right now that I don't think I've ever had an original experience in my life.
• 
  Rachel Krantz

  Sometimes a book comes along that makes you feel so seen it changes your life. One such book for me has been Greedy, which explores through well-researched and funny essays the experience of being bisexual — especially when you’re socialized as a woman. It articulated feelings I’ve had for years as I was coming into my own queerness, like, “[b]ut at least threesomes made me feel comfortable — queer hookups seemed less intimidating when a guy was there too. Being alone with a woman raised other questions: What if I didn’t like the sex — would that prove I was straight? Or what if I liked it too much, and realized I didn’t need men at all?”
  
  
  Being bisexual challenges traditional notions of happily ever after, in that you are “refusing” to pick a “side.” The label sounds binary, but the meaning behind it and lived experience are quite the opposite. Bisexuals are often told by both gay and straight populations that they somehow aren’t real as a result, and Winston is here to help us change that and affirm our identity — all while resisting being put in yet another box.
• 
  miley

  i physically cannot bring myself to finish this book. i was really looking forward to reading a memoir about bisexuality but im so disappointed at another case of white women doing white women things. the amount of overcompensation about being white was too much and as soon as I got to the chapter where she talks about how incredible and benevolent her white friend was for teaching her about racism, i needed to stop. So much time and many pages wasted to show that she was a Good White Woman Ally who ~gets it~, so icky to read. we get it you’re white and you feel guilty, let’s move on
• 
  Rachel Brill

  “Finding stability in a state of flux” who wouldn’t want to be enlightened on this topic that applies to every aspect of our lives, personally, professionally and sexually. Kudos to Jen, just your ‘anything but average’ gal I met on a bus in a foreign land ... and keeps it authentically honest.