So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives by Ian Kerner

So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex: Laying Bare and Learning to Repair Our Love Lives Reviews

• 
  Jen

  Kerner has given us a gender-inclusive, incredibly sex-positive masterpiece of sexuality inviting readers into the universal system of the sexual script that is common enough to be something everyone has in their relationship but opens up to incredibly different possibilities for each relationship. There is a wide sweep of sexual ground covered, and while not all the content is going relate to every reader, no content is superfluously out of place.
  Part instructional sex-manual, part workbook with end-of-chapter homework, part bibliography recommending further resources, part informational overview of many sexual subtopics, and part historical journey into the underpinnings of sex-negative and sexual shame came to be more active to learn to override rather than the reverse.
  Kerner is the Sherlock Holmes of sex as he sees clients: understanding how a couple’s sexual script evolves from beginning, middle, to end. The sexual script is a throwback concept from Kerner’s days as a college playwright, and it encompasses who initiated and why and how to the physical behaviors of the sexual encounter (and the order) to who had orgasms to the emotional terrains and shifts of the sexual encountering.
  A wide sweep of research, ideas, and information resources from a wide variety of sexual researchers and educators stuffs the book with fascinating data and research-backed suggestions. It’s a Who’s Who of sexuality research and scholarship that has moved the field forward and, through research and later clinical application, has helped innumerous people. The late Dr. Alfred Kinsey, Dr. Emily Nagoski, Dr. Justin Lehmiller, Dr. Lori Brotto, and Dr. Laurie Mintz are just a few of the sexuality academic powerhouses whose work is featured. While sexuality is the heavy area covered, the work of prominent couple’s therapists include Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson can also be found. Other books and other online resources (such as OMGYes.com which is reviewed here on TCS) are also recommended through the text itself where applicable.
  The book is divided into five parts. All five parts serve the sexual script: developing it, giving it meaning and joy, and troubleshooting with guidance physiological, relational, or behavioral concerns that can interfere with a partner’s willingness or ability to participate in the sexual script.
  The first three parts correspond to the sexual script chronologically. In the first part, we learn about the cornerstone fundamentals of desire: spontaneous desire (which Kerner actually calls “highly reactive desire” which is highly reactive to sexual cues) and reactive desire (which Kerner would say is less reactive and has a much lower sensitivity threshold than spontaneous desire). Kerner places spontaneous and responsive desires on a continuum rather than a polarity. We learn about Erick Janssen and John Bancroft’s dual control model, where excitors accelerate our on-ramp to sexual activity and inhibitors which put the brakes on the journey to sexual turn-on. We have unique patterns of accelerators and brakes to sexual activity. We also learn about sexual motivation. Rounding out part one (and this review admittedly is not doing them justice for review length), the origins of our society’s sex-negativity, psychogenic stimulation (how we turn our brain on), kink, and the intersection of sexuality and shame is discussed. Part One focuses highly on the psychological beginnings to the sexual script and its experience.
  The second part of Kerner’s book, dubbed the Middle, focuses on the beginnings of arousal and physical stimulation and play. Kerner touts outercourse for moving readers beyond PIV sex (slang for penis-in-vagina intercourse, our often Rorsharc ink blot association to hearing the word “sex”) into greater diversity and pleasure of sexuality. Robust diagrams of genital anatomy supplements Kerner’s chapters on getting to know the large physical (it’s not just what is seen on the outside) and central scope of the clitoris for pleasure, arousal based in male genitalia, and how female and male desire is as similar as it is different.
  The third part focuses on extending the plateau phase of the sexual response cycle into a trance-like, blissful state and learning to edge close and retreat from orgasm multiple times to exponentially drive arousal rather than a straight line. Kerner also expounds on the value of entrainment…that is, not only developing a steady rhythm of stimulation for your partner but also helping them use that entrainment for their own trance-like enjoyment in the moment. Essentially, develop these rhythms in giver and receiver scenarios. The sexual script slides can slide into a give and take dance flow state, so enchanting partners take turns doing nothing else but enjoying their own sexuality.
  Part four molds together all the previous content to help readers build their own sexual script, even a few, for the relationship. Consider and account for willingness to engage in sex, desire generation, excitors and inhibitors, ways to drum up arousal, both physiologically and psychologically, how best to entrain and give pleasure in the plateau and orgasm phases, and how to keep eroticism flowing even between execution of the sexual script. The sexual script becomes the world’s sexual oyster, able to hold sexual creativity to your negotiated sexual script while structured enough to be a container.
  Problems and solutions fill the final, fifth part of the book. It’s a broad brush of relational dynamics and sexual problems (erectile unpredictability, delayed or early ejaculation, trauma, pain, porn, and gender dysphoria are some of the covered topics). Here you will plenty of topic overview, medical information where appropriate, and clinical experience distilled into brief chapters (usually between 5-10 pages).
  Superbly inclusive, showing both Kerner’s own expertise while incorporating a wide body of knowledge, and compassionately integrating the biopsychosocial model into a couple’s sexual script, this book is highly recommended for all readers who want to elevate the sexual script in their relationship.
  
  *** For more relationship resources, please visit my website,
  www.thecouplessyllabus.com ***
  
  
  
  
• 
  M Moore

  Welp, that was not what I expected. I believe I confused two descriptions I had read around the same time so I went into this thinking it was a funny, insightful memoir along the lines of Group or Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. However, it is not like those books...at all. This is an intense, self-help book that is in depth and very descriptive. While it was not at all what I expected or was even looking for, I found it to be interesting and loved how inclusive Kerner's practice seems to be. This is definitely not for everyone but if you are looking for some guidance from a sex therapist and into a nonfiction, sciency, self help books, this one is for you!
  
  Thanks to Grand Central Publishing for this #gifted copy. My thoughts are my own.
• 
  The_J

  Offered as an avenue of discovery and analysis, seemed to devolve at parts into misused statistics and best way to have anal sex. Perhaps the structure along with the "homework" could give some samplers insight, but I find little to recommend it.
• 
  Vanya Prodanova

  Любопитството ми някой ден ще ме умори напълно. :)
  
  Тази книга определено ме накара да се чувствам неудобно, особено визирайки, че реших да я слушам на високоговорител. Горките ми съседи. XD Донякъде ми е тъжно, че не я четох, тъй като щеше да е по-малко дискомфортно, а и илюстрациите определено щеше да е забавно да ги видя.
  
  Книгата определено постига няколко неща:
  1. Някъде до петия час вече неудобството, изчервяването и засрамването изчезват, от което всички може да спечелим.
  2. Вадилизира какво всъщност представляват нормалните сексуални отношения между двама души, което мисля, че много хетеросексуални (и не само) двойки имат нужда да чуят, тъй като религията добре се е погрижила да превърне секса в срамно преживяване, чиято единствена цел е да се възпроизведеш и нищо повече.
  3. Образователна книга е и е направено под формата на работна тетрадка. Има си упражнения, които да пробваш; допълнителни ресурси и т.н. Чудесен ресурс е за бъдещи справки.
  
  Недостатъкът й идва от това, че има изключително много информация, в много моменти твърде провокираща, че да бъде възприета с отворено съзнание от раз, но това по никакъв начин не променя факта, че образова и може да бъде полезна за отделни личности и двойки, които са на този етап от връзката си, че са решили да подобрят сексуалните си отношения.
  
  Няма какво да спорим, сексът е може би едно от п��следните табута, което трудно ще бъде изтрито от съзнанието на хората и ще минат много поколения, преди родителите на тези поколения да намерят начини как да общуват и говорят за секса и сексуалните отношения с децата си. Тъжно е как повечето от нас (сигурна съм, че има малцина щастливци) са научили каквото знаят за тялото, сексуалността и сексът от не много надеждни източници. :)
  
• 
  Layla Platt

  I learned so many things from Kerner that I had to rate this 5 stars. People in relationships or not can benefit from all the different topics that are covered in this book.
• 
  Oksana Naumchuk

  Мені здалося, що автор приділив чоловікам уваги більше аніж жінкам. Оскільки про жінок у нього є написана окрема книга, яку він ненав'язливо згадував з десяток разів. А загалом книга чудова.
• 
  Scribe Publications

  Even in therapy, sex seems like the one topic people need to talk about most but don't know how. Thankfully, renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner has come to the rescue for everyone who has wanted more out of their erotic life but felt stuck, confused, or just plain frustrated. Combining decades of clinical research and real people’s stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page.
  Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times Bestselling Author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
  
  Ian Kerner is a voice of equal parts compassion and logic. He speaks equally to men and to women, equally to people with great sex lives and people who are struggling. Ian's work is essential in the world of sex positive writing.
  Emily Nagoski, PHD, New York Times Bestselling Author of Come As You Are
  
  What a fascinating book on the how-to of sex — it’s packed with riveting data and great advice: Either you’ll be gratified that you are doing everything right or you’ll pick up a pile of truly valuable tips. Kerner is a wise man — it’s a compelling read.
  Helen Fisher, PHD, Author of Anatomy of Love
  
  My goodness, he’s done it again. After helping men become ‘cliterate’ with She Comes First and guiding women through the intricacies of male passion (He Comes Next), Ian Kerner fearlessly leads us to explore one another. His guidance is at once fresh, funny, human and state of the art. What is your erotic blueprint? Dispelling one myth after another, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex invites you on a journey toward a deeper, richer and more authentic sexuality.
  Terrence Real, Author of The New Rules of Marriage
  
  Based on real stories and linked by real data, Kerner’s So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex is a look into the sex lives of people that will serve to normalise, validate, and importantly, inspire! This book is for sex therapists, individuals seeking to improve their sex lives, and anyone who wants to turn good sex into great sex!
  Lori A. Brotto, PHD, Author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness
  
  Ian Kerner is a gem of a sex therapist and a masterful storyteller. This book is insightful, practical, accessible, and most of all, helpful. Written in an extraordinarily comfortable and engaging style, Kerner has produced a book that will not only grab the reader's attention and interest, but is sure to enhance the sexual, emotional, and relational lives of its audience. Much like his earlier work, She Comes First, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is a book that will endure for years. I am sure to recommend this text to my patients with frequency and enthusiasm!
  Daniel N. Watter, EDD, Past-President of The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
  
  Does the sex between your ears or your sheets needs a script update? You’ve come to the right place. Ian Kerner brings together up to the minute sexual science with the highly personal art form of sexual pleasure to give readers a master class in sexual script writing. Full of practical and knowledgeable ideas for rewriting your last forgettable sexual experiences into sexual narratives worth repeating and retelling.
  Doug Braun-Harvey, MFT, Co-Author of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behaviour: Rethinking Sex Addiction
  
  No question, Ian Kerner’s book is refreshingly informative — and honestly, that would have been enough. But what makes it truly special is Kerner himself: the abundant warmth that shines through, whether he is describing a client session or addressing readers directly. His compassion and kindness gently disarm shame, promoting the kind of communication and self-interrogation that are, ultimately, key to experiencing joy in sex.
  Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex
  
  From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh, sexy solutions to classic sex problems.
  Esther Perel, marriage and family therapist, and author of Mating in Captivity: reconciling the erotic and the domestic
  
  So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is simply a delightful book! It tells you how to focus down and unpack your sexual dance and make it rock! More than this it’s so easy to read: down to earth and so eminently practical. A great acquisition for anyone who wants to improve their sex life.
  Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight: seven conversations for a lifetime of love
  
  ‘Is the air you breathe oxygenated with a little bit of eroticism?’ asks bestselling author and sex therapist Ian Kerner. If it is, then you will savour this book, which (as the title indicates), invites us to look through the window of our last sexual experiences to illuminate our sex lives and what they could become. If it isn’t, then you must buy this book today! Kerner has created another instant classic for individuals, couples and their therapists who are willing to consider what last night could mean for tomorrow.
  Peggy J. Kleinplatz, PhD, professor, faculty of medicine at University of Ottawa, Canada
  
  For any couple struggling to make sense of their fickle sex drives, dwindling desires and disappointing sexual experiences, Dr. Kerner’s latest book is the first step towards living healthier, fulfilling and more pleasurable sex lives. This book will transform not only the sexual relationship you have with your partners but the one you have with yourself. It’s a must read for anyone who is ready to let go of their limiting beliefs to make way for sexual discovery and satisfaction.
  Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality, Founder & CEO of Sex With Emily
  
  Ian Kerner is the real deal. In So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, he uses the most essential form of communication — storytelling — to help couples follow the thread from their stuck, unsatisfying scripts back to the deep tender core of vulnerability that underlies them. Filled with practical exercises, Kerner addresses an array of sexual challenges and shows how they can become opportunities for erotic growth. He also inspires his readers to expand their erotic repertoire through flexibility, creative imagination, and more meaningful sexual conversations with themselves and their partners. I can't think of a more hopeful, humane and knowledgeable guide for navigating the sometimes vexing impasses of couple sex.
  Daphne de Marneffe, PhD, author of The Rough Patch: marriage and the art of living together
  
  Kerner dusts off the traditional concept of a ‘sex script’ and polishes it to a high sheen. In his hands, this humble tool becomes a powerful key to deeper sexual aliveness. This is a highly original book. It’s also playful, deeply personal, unfailingly kind, and clearly a labour of love. I can’t think of any other sex writer who can discuss Aristotle’s Poetics together with the neuroscience of orgasm, but Kerner does it all with unfailing skill. Highly recommended!
  Dr Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making
• 
  Scribe Publications

  Even in therapy, sex seems like the one topic people need to talk about most but don't know how. Thankfully, renowned sex therapist Ian Kerner has come to the rescue for everyone who has wanted more out of their erotic life but felt stuck, confused, or just plain frustrated. Combining decades of clinical research and real people’s stories, this elucidating guidebook is a must-read for anyone interested in creating a richer, deeper romantic life. There is warmth, compassion and clarity on every page.
  Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times Bestselling Author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
  
  Ian Kerner is a voice of equal parts compassion and logic. He speaks equally to men and to women, equally to people with great sex lives and people who are struggling. Ian's work is essential in the world of sex positive writing.
  Emily Nagoski, PHD, New York Times Bestselling Author of Come As You Are
  
  What a fascinating book on the how-to of sex — it’s packed with riveting data and great advice: Either you’ll be gratified that you are doing everything right or you’ll pick up a pile of truly valuable tips. Kerner is a wise man — it’s a compelling read.
  Helen Fisher, PHD, Author of Anatomy of Love
  
  My goodness, he’s done it again. After helping men become ‘cliterate’ with She Comes First and guiding women through the intricacies of male passion (He Comes Next), Ian Kerner fearlessly leads us to explore one another. His guidance is at once fresh, funny, human and state of the art. What is your erotic blueprint? Dispelling one myth after another, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex invites you on a journey toward a deeper, richer and more authentic sexuality.
  Terrence Real, Author of The New Rules of Marriage
  
  Based on real stories and linked by real data, Kerner’s So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex is a look into the sex lives of people that will serve to normalise, validate, and importantly, inspire! This book is for sex therapists, individuals seeking to improve their sex lives, and anyone who wants to turn good sex into great sex!
  Lori A. Brotto, PHD, Author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness
  
  Ian Kerner is a gem of a sex therapist and a masterful storyteller. This book is insightful, practical, accessible, and most of all, helpful. Written in an extraordinarily comfortable and engaging style, Kerner has produced a book that will not only grab the reader's attention and interest, but is sure to enhance the sexual, emotional, and relational lives of its audience. Much like his earlier work, She Comes First, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is a book that will endure for years. I am sure to recommend this text to my patients with frequency and enthusiasm!
  Daniel N. Watter, EDD, Past-President of The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
  
  Does the sex between your ears or your sheets needs a script update? You’ve come to the right place. Ian Kerner brings together up to the minute sexual science with the highly personal art form of sexual pleasure to give readers a master class in sexual script writing. Full of practical and knowledgeable ideas for rewriting your last forgettable sexual experiences into sexual narratives worth repeating and retelling.
  Doug Braun-Harvey, MFT, Co-Author of Treating Out of Control Sexual Behaviour: Rethinking Sex Addiction
  
  No question, Ian Kerner’s book is refreshingly informative — and honestly, that would have been enough. But what makes it truly special is Kerner himself: the abundant warmth that shines through, whether he is describing a client session or addressing readers directly. His compassion and kindness gently disarm shame, promoting the kind of communication and self-interrogation that are, ultimately, key to experiencing joy in sex.
  Peggy Orenstein, New York Times bestselling author of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex
  
  From breaking out of a sex rut to managing mismatched libidos, Ian Kerner is at the forefront of giving us fresh, sexy solutions to classic sex problems.
  Esther Perel, marriage and family therapist, and author of Mating in Captivity: reconciling the erotic and the domestic
  
  So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is simply a delightful book! It tells you how to focus down and unpack your sexual dance and make it rock! More than this it’s so easy to read: down to earth and so eminently practical. A great acquisition for anyone who wants to improve their sex life.
  Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight: seven conversations for a lifetime of love
  
  ‘Is the air you breathe oxygenated with a little bit of eroticism?’ asks bestselling author and sex therapist Ian Kerner. If it is, then you will savour this book, which (as the title indicates), invites us to look through the window of our last sexual experiences to illuminate our sex lives and what they could become. If it isn’t, then you must buy this book today! Kerner has created another instant classic for individuals, couples and their therapists who are willing to consider what last night could mean for tomorrow.
  Peggy J. Kleinplatz, PhD, professor, faculty of medicine at University of Ottawa, Canada
  
  For any couple struggling to make sense of their fickle sex drives, dwindling desires and disappointing sexual experiences, Dr. Kerner’s latest book is the first step towards living healthier, fulfilling and more pleasurable sex lives. This book will transform not only the sexual relationship you have with your partners but the one you have with yourself. It’s a must read for anyone who is ready to let go of their limiting beliefs to make way for sexual discovery and satisfaction.
  Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality, Founder & CEO of Sex With Emily
  
  Ian Kerner is the real deal. In So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex, he uses the most essential form of communication — storytelling — to help couples follow the thread from their stuck, unsatisfying scripts back to the deep tender core of vulnerability that underlies them. Filled with practical exercises, Kerner addresses an array of sexual challenges and shows how they can become opportunities for erotic growth. He also inspires his readers to expand their erotic repertoire through flexibility, creative imagination, and more meaningful sexual conversations with themselves and their partners. I can't think of a more hopeful, humane and knowledgeable guide for navigating the sometimes vexing impasses of couple sex.
  Daphne de Marneffe, PhD, author of The Rough Patch: marriage and the art of living together
  
  Kerner dusts off the traditional concept of a ‘sex script’ and polishes it to a high sheen. In his hands, this humble tool becomes a powerful key to deeper sexual aliveness. This is a highly original book. It’s also playful, deeply personal, unfailingly kind, and clearly a labour of love. I can’t think of any other sex writer who can discuss Aristotle’s Poetics together with the neuroscience of orgasm, but Kerner does it all with unfailing skill. Highly recommended!
  Dr Stephen Snyder, author of Love Worth Making
  
  Dr. Ian Kerner has done it again! So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex is the book we've all been needing … even if we didn't know it! Kerner masterfully alchemises the practical and the poetic to help us more deeply understand the world of the erotic. By inviting us to relate to our sexual experiences as stories, Kerner gifts us the opportunity to co-author new possibilities for healing and joy. This book is a treasure.
  Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, faculty at Northwestern University, author of Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back
  
• 
  Rachel Jackson

  I went into this book with the complete wrong expectations and, unsurprisingly, was largely displeased with the book I did end up reading. I had heard about So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex several months ago as a really insightful look into modern human sexuality and sexual behaviors, and, seeing that I am a sucker for such subjects, I was intrigued. But my lack of any additional research or inquiries into the book before starting to read it was evident once I realized that it was simply a self-help book written by Ian Kerner for people who are struggling in their sex lives and need actual, licensed, clinical help. #cantrelate
  
  So I guess if you're looking for self-help on how to improve your sex life—communicating with your partner, addressing sexual trauma, embracing vulnerabilities, allowing yourself to be in the moment—then this might be the book for you. There are certainly good bits of advice and things to ponder in what Kerner suggested as homework at the end of each chapter, but it definitely did seem far more suited to 1) couples who 2) live together and 3) have issues sexually in some manner and 4) who want to fix their problems together. It was far more of a niche book that way than I was expecting or hoping to read. And seemed to pull from lots of other sexual health related books and research that I've already read, so what new information or strategies is Kerner suggesting here?
  
  The worst part, which made Kerner's credibility go down the toilet immediately: he was a flagrant porn and BDSM apologist. So let me get this straight: you're encouraging couples to communicate about vulnerabilities and traumas, but still also supporting porn (the number of times he had to use the caveat "ethical" porn, as if that's a thing) and encouraging kink in the bedroom? Toward the end of the book he also said, while talking about conditions that cause painful sex: "[O]ne thing is clear: Sex shouldn’t be painful. Ever." Talk about your cognitive dissonance.
• 
  charlotte

  solid self help book for people dealing with sexual dysfunction/discomfort/mismatch within a relationship. it does not really provide help for those who are single and experiencing issues around sex. i read it primarily because the author discusses his experiences as a sex therapist and i liked the way he provided examples of solving his clients’ issues. it’s also fairly male-focused, but in a good way. a lot of sexual dysfunction books focus on women, like “come as you are” by emily nagowski, but this one has a lot of content on male sexual anxiety, which i’ve found is not as commonly talked out. its also full of ways for male partners to decrease the orgasm gap in heterosexual relationships. I would recommend this book to couples who are unpracticed in discussing sex and who may not even feel dysfunctional, but would like to reach greater heights. i liked his exercise suggestions, made the book feel genuinely helpful instead of leaving you with the feeling of “man, i guess i need to find a therapist,” which can always feel disheartening.
• 
  Sean

  Ian Kerner is fantastic sledgehammer of a sex therapist, breaking down the walls between stigma and empathy. His arguable magnum opus, She Comes First, excels by not only providing a beat-by-beat guide to cunnilingus, but more importantly (well...maybe as importantly) devoting the first half to the sheer *idea* of going down on women and its historical import. (An odd idea to think that pleasuring a woman outside of reproductive goals is even progressive, but alas here we are.)
  
  His latest book doesn't quite have that focus and purity of vision; think of it more as a seasoned sex therapist's greatest hits collection. The narrative spine is the idea of a 'sex script'—the sequence of acts that constitute a couple's sexual discourse. Gay people are statistically great at mixing it up, straight people not so much—leading to boredom and stagnancy. It's a neat concept, and Kerner is great at saying "hey, we all deal with this and we can all be better."
  
  He punctuates the experience with a rundown on the most common sexual frustrations including premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and (probably one of the most interesting bits) responsive vs. spontaneous desire and harmonizing the gap between the two. Not all of these chapters will be notable to everyone. This is more of a manual than a cohesive reading experience. But there'll be at least a few "oh fuck" moments and salient ideas for anyone with a libido. It's also an incredibly quick read.
• 
  Tangled in Text

  This book has zero filter and I've got to love it for that. It literally is laying bare to it all.
  
  This is the most inclusive sex positive book I've read. It focuses on all ranges of gendered and nongendered individuals. It is the best literal guide at times to say hey lets understand your own anatomy and here are pictures and detailed descriptions of each piece of you and how to take care of yourself before introducing you to the combination of those parts with another individual. This is 100% a reference guide that you might want to take notes in and bookmark sections to go back to more easily and at the end of each section even has homework and I've got to say this is the most fun I've ever had completing an assignment.
• 
  Hayley Wood

  I will be super excited to use the knowledge in this book for my future practice. This book opened my eyes to many good things! I enjoyed the self disclosure from the author who is a practicing psychotherapist. ER was personal for the author, I understand this is something men have to learn to navigate. I would have also liked to see more on things women suffer with, ie issues with having an orgasm when on an SSRI. This was touched on with men in depth.
  
  Thank you Grand Central Publishing for an advance copy to read!
• 
  Julie

  This book is so well rounded with the topics covered, and everything is discussed with such compassion and hopefulness. I will definitely be recommending this book to clients. 5 enthusiastic stars for the book and the audiobook (read by the author and very engaging)!
• 
  Irina Ioana

  This is a genuinely well written book. It is hard to write about sex in a way that is practical but not sleazy, intelligent and without a high dose of cringe. Well this book does it!
• 
  Patrice Graziani

  Interesting theme, explored a lot of aspects so is good for a broad range, sadly I wanted to read it for a more specific issue so it was just moderately helpful
• 
  Mary Claire

  Really, really good. Full of information and sound research. I was recommending it to my sex therapy clients before I even finished it.
• 
  Alona

  It was ok, had some good pointers.
  But why was the chapter about sexual problems so centered around men?
• 
  Jess Dollar

  I really liked this book. Thought provoking, affirming, a nice book to read of you are in a long term relationship!
• 
  Kuxenjatko

  I can't believe I have finished it - but is says nothing about the book, the book is good. I haven't been able to consistently read in the last half a year.
• 
  Davis Haguma

  Good!