Memory of Light by Ruth Vanita

Memory of Light Reviews

• 
  Suyashi Smridhi

  I did not want this book to end :(.
  The play with the idea of memory and light was just gorgeous. I found it to be slightly rushed and sometimes bordering on too much information about historical figures I couldn't really care about, but oh what an absolute delight!
• 
  Arushi Bhaskar

  A story about gay tawaifs that makes your heart ache for days after? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Give me more, I never wanted this book to end anyway.
• 
  Tejaswini

  'Memory of light' by Ruth Vantha takes us on a scintillating ride flying on a magical carpet to the regime of Mughals and Nawabs during 18th century in the city of Lucknow. There courtesans live in ' kotha '(building) which is looked after by an incharge. They are trained in dance from childhood to perform in royal palace and also during any auspicious royal events in the city.
  🌺🌸🌺
  Every evening, special concerts are held in the kotha where royal courtiers come and spend time with their favourites. Unlike the world outside , a boy child is undesired & here matriarchy rules over. Though many of them settle down with a patron at a certain age, yet a few of them desire to marry off a Nawab even as his umpteenth wife and ultimately ornate the tag 'Begum'.
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  Nafis, an average looking girl is not much sought after courtesan in the kotha, adding to this, she is not interested in dance too; but blessed with writing poems & ghazals beautifully. She meets Chapla, who comes to perform in their adjacent kotha from Benaras. There blossoms their bud of love in the veil of intial shades of friendship. But days to come, Nafis discovers that they are inseparable like verses & tune of a 'ghazal' she writes.When the entire city is in the afternoon slumber, they while their time getting lost in their embraces , telling stories of their pasts & exchanging their poems.
  🌺🌸🌺
  Nafis not willing to settle with a patron like others of her age, longs for Chapla's hand in her hitherto life. As the whole story is told from POV of Nafis, her immense love on Chapla, grief of separation, fear of future without Chapla's company & her reveries when Chapla is away are presented as transparent as a clear reflection on a still water; while emotions of Chapla are shown as a wavering shadow casted under a distinct oil lamp. After all, their courtship turns out to be a distasteful & dejected twin fruit despite having flush pulp in it. There are many instances in this book where same sex relationships are seen in a very normalised perspective at which I wondered the broad intuitives aeons ago.
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  The author's writing is nothing less than a poetry & full of lush with metamorphical references quoting nature & it's beauty. This book has many 'ghazals' by celebrated poets inscribed splendidly in a fictional love story & also interwining various historical characters in the story from the chosen era. The intimacy between the duo is depicted without any odd obscenity. There are many Hindustani and Urdu words in the book for which a glossary could have been helped a naive reader in a better way. I highly recommend this book who look forward for a queer story blended with historical fiction & also who love reading Hindustani verses.
• 
  Abhïshék Ghosh

  Ruth Vanita's academic alacrity in being specific about historical figures and details is definitely a joy for a history lover like me. The book has a complicated storyline because the number of characters is really hard to keep track of. But there are lines which are extremely memorable: from snippets of Urdu shayari (poetry) to musings on unrequited love. The suddenness, twists and turns in the lives of an often overlooked relationship (that of same-sex love between women in the kothaa/brothels, a relationship sustained by relentless penmanship but little physical or openly acknowledged intimacy and the descriptions of the languid yet exciting lives in the kotha makes it for an interesting one-time read!
• 
  Soumita

  An aching story of two souls. Of love and longing, of passion and separation. And, of poems and ghazals and dances. Wlw stories >>>
• 
  kavya ♡

  what the fuck why have i never heard about this book before??! it is everything i have ever wanted in the entirety of my 17.4 years of existence
• 
  Musab

  A lyrical romance set in Lucknow in the times of Nawabs, with all the beauty and pomp of a superficial ghazal. This book was a delight to read, in terms of its vain romanticization of love and all the insecurities that come with it.
• 
  Thegoangirlreads

  “I looked up. She was half-smiling, half-laughing, in that semi-shy, semi-mischievous way to which I would become addicted.”
  
  This story is set between the 18th and 19th century, North India, An era marked by the diminishing Mughal empire and the growing East India Company.
  The story revolves around courtesans, Kothas, poetry and nawabs, primarily of Lucknow. It shows the dynamics of the matriarchal system of Kothas and also that between the courtesans and the courtiers who patronised them. You can also see the seething unrest that has begun towards the advent of the British.
  
  The story is narrated through the POV of Nafis Bai, an average looking yet talented poet who falls in love with Chapla Bai, a beautiful dancer visiting from Kashi. Their relationship spanning over two years forms the crux of Nafis Bai’s life as well as the story and covers various facets of love such as desire, jealousy, separation and longing.
  
  It was very interesting to know about the lives of the courtesans and the operations of the kothas. A topic that I had never given any thought to, until now.
  There were two things that surprised me:
  1. In the Kotha system, a girl child is often more desired than a boy
  2. There was no taboo associated with same sex relationships at that time, rather it was quite the norm
  
  The story takes you on a magical ride through glamorous kothas, gorgeous jewellery and beautiful outfits, and all the ‘Naach Gaana’ reminded me of a Sanjay Leela Bhansali movie!
  
  The writing style and narrative is very confusing and I am not sure I could grasp the entire essence of the book. I did not understand many sections and I was puzzled till the end.
  There are a lot of references and words in the book that may not be understood by a lay person, like me, and more notes could have been provided to make the understanding smooth for the regular reader.
• 
  Zainab Qureshi

  "At every parting, a self dies. When all the selves go, does one reach the real one or turn to nothing?"
  - Nafis bai
  \
  The writing was so so beautiful with the vivid descriptions & the poetry like prose.
  However, the transition between the present & the vignettes of the past wasn't the smoothest. It felt a little abrupt, both in its appearance and when its ending. I really liked the narration style of The Girl In White Cotton which had one chapter alternating between the present & the past. Another issue I had was with the way new characters & historical & political events were presented. It felt as if we were expected to know what was being talked about but this is a historical fiction, so some context & knowledge really would've made the book more impactful.
  The characters. Do you know those books where the side characters have more depth than the protagonists? This was one of those. I had more interest in the parallel romances, the politics of the kotha, the marriages, etc. The main romance felt more like a teenage crush where you spend a larger chunk infatuated & imagining scenarios with them than actually dating them and when it does happen it's NOTHING like you imagined and I don't want to say this but the first half of the book which is spent with Nafis pining after Chapla gave very aawara-aashiq vibes.
  What I absolutely LOVED about this book was
  • APT USE OF URDU? Case in point, the author uses the word 'Ishq' to describe the romance of two characters who are so in love that they see the divine in each other. Point being, Ishq≠mohabbat. Ishq is used to describe love without any desire and mostly used in the context of devotion & what one feels for the Almighty.
  • the explicitness of queer love & the normalcy with which it was written. LOVED IT. HERE FOR IT ✌🏾
• 
  Huesofwords (Bandita)

  "Too many cooks spoil the broth" yes, according to me this is the appropriate saying which goes with this book. Too many characters are involved in this story which spoilt the essence of the story. Yes, it's obvious that multiple characters are needed in the story as the plot revolves around a Kotha(court) set in 18th century Lucknow but the author should mention how the characters relate to each other at the beginning of the story, for the convenience of the readers.
  
  It's a queer romance and historical fiction novel in which a female poet (Nafis) and a courtesan (Chapla Bai) fall in love with each other. It's a passionate love story narrated through Nafis's perspective. It was touching to read her intimate relationship with Chapla Bai. The only thing that kept me hooked to the book was the plot. This book gives you a brief overview on everyday life of courtesans and how they behaved. At that time, homosexual or same sex relationships were not considered as a social taboo.
• 
  Manjul Bajaj

  4.5 stars
  
  For someone who has grown up in Lucknow as I have this book cannot but be extra special. It is a beautiful evocation of the city's past. Ruth Vanita brings everything to life vividly - the time, the place (the very monuments), the music, poetry, dance, the Ganga - Jamuna tehzeeb, the sensibilities and mores of Lucknow in its heyday (the East India Company a growing threat on the edges). Drawing on the work of Lakhnavi poets of the time like Insha and Rangin she tells a compelling story of same sex love between the poet Nafis and the dancer Chapla Bai. What I liked most about the book is that same sex love as well the lives of the tawaifs and running of the kothas are all treated unselfconsciously, just an integral part of the culture, not exoticised or seen through a Western lens.
• 
  Smriti

  I wish I could have liked this more.
• 
  Prachi Pati

  "Once you said happiness exists only in romances. That may be true. But aananda is different - its in oneself and awakened in different ways, mainly through conversations with someone of like heart." - Chapla to Nafis..
  
  This is the story of a summertime love/romance between two courtesans - Chapla Bai from Kashi and Nafis Bai, set in the 17th Century Nawabi India in Lucknow.
  
  I had a lot of difficulty getting into the book - the historic references were new to me and there were too many characters thrown in right in the start with the assumption that the reader will just understand who the author is referring to and what is their role in the story. A major disappointment was that because of this, I couldnt care about any of the characters and felt a major lack of chemistry between the two leading ladies. I was almost going to DNF it, but I ploughed on.
  
  Towards about 60% into the book however, I was able to get a hang of the historic references and the settings of 17th Century India. The writing is extremely gorgeous and poetic throughout the book and there were a lot of sentences that I related to regarding love, ageing and the fleeting nature of beauty and desire.
  
  The best part about reading this book for me however was the fact that as per the author's own research, India was not a homophobic country in the pre colonial era. Same sex relationships were not looked down upon and were practiced openly without any censure from society. I was amazed to read about the open sexuality and display of feminine interests such as jewellery, clothing, romance, etc. from both men and women. And women in kothas/courtesans in that age were one of the richest in the society! Can you believe it? Yes, heterosexuality was preferred, but only in order to create heirs. So in many ways, I was pleasantly surprised to learn about 17th Century India, where we were so open and didnt have this communal divide between Hindus and Muslims that we are plagued with now.
  
  All in all, I'm glad I didnt DNF the book. There were some great things about the book, but I guess it wont rank very high in my rating because of the other issues I mentioned :)
• 
  tejal

  The basic story seemed intriguing at first glance: a love story between Nafis Bai, a female poet, and Chapla Bai, a courtesan, during 18th-century Lucknow. However, any interest I had began to peter out within the first twenty pages because of the sheer amount of characters. There were far too many side characters, none of whom had a tangible identity and none of whom served a purpose aside from to drive the story forward, which was disappointing. I also found them distracting and that they took away from the main heart of the story: Nafis Bai and Chapla Bai's openly queer relationship.
  
  To a certain extent, it was a beautiful story of yearning and longing between a poet and a courtesan. However, I felt like sometimes the story meandered which was a waste given its overall brevity as a novel less than 300 pages. The plot was thin, the characters lacked significant progression and although it attempted at complexity, it failed to provide more than a surface-level relationship between them.
  
  One thing I did enjoy was that the author had a lyrical style of prose which worked for the most part and helped to create the atmosphere of an Indian royal court. It was an excellent depiction of a kotha, the prose employed made it a mystical sanctuary for the women within the novel and I loved the strong bonds between the varying women who lived in that house. I also enjoyed the real life ghazals interspersed throughout the pages, they lent a romantic air to the novel!
  
  As a novel as whole, it had a tempting premise but was poorly executed and without nuance or depth. I wanted to love this novel, but unfortunately it was a disappointment.
• 
  Aastha Anand

  "Which is more pleasurable - being alone together or being with others, knowing that the one they desire will soon be alone with you."
  
  Memory of Light is an exquisite tale of conversations, songs and poems that take a reader through the journey of love between Nafi's Bai and Chapla. The story is set in pre-Independence India, introducing the reader to the world of courtesans, dance, poets, love and friendship.
  
  It has various characters and each of them contributes to make it a different and enjoyable experience for the reader. They are so well woven. The book needs one's complete attention to fully indulge oneself into the world the author has beautifully and intricately built.
  
  Nafis Bai and Mir Insha are my favorite characters. The storyline is so well thought and written that I found myself transported inside the book looking at everything through my eyes. Same sex love was not a taboo back then and one could own their sexuality without being judged. The backdrop of the narrative is formed in Lucknow, Shahjahanabad, Kashi and Delhi's local as well as the then British population and Nawabs.
  
  Poetry is what rises above all for me in the book. I would really like to applaud Ruth ma'am for such precise and beautiful use of the right poems and ghazals at the very right point. She has used the work of various well known poets and translated some of the poems to English.
  
  I loved reading the book and would recommend it to everyone.
• 
  Bookashbutterfly

  📚 Memory Of Light
  📖 𝐛𝐲 Ruth Vanita
  
  🔖 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: Historical fiction| LGBT
  🔖 𝐒𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Preparations for King George the Third's fiftieth birthday gala are in full swing in Lucknow. As poets and performers vie to be part of the show, Chapla Bai, a dazzling courtesan from Kashi, briefly enters this competitive world, and sweeps the poet Nafis Bai off her feet. An irresistible passion takes root, expanding and contracting like a wave of light. Over two summers, aided by Nafis's friends, the poets Insha and Rangin, and Sharad, himself in love with a man, they exchange letters and verses, feeding each other the heady fruit of desire. When Chapla leaves for home, they part with the dream of building a life together. Can their relationship survive the distances?
  
  Narrated in the voice of Nafis, Memory of Light weaves an exquisite web of conversations, songs, reminiscences around a life-changing love.
  🔖𝐑𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬:⭐⭐✨
  🔖𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: "Too many cooks spoil the broth" yes, according to me this is the appropriate saying which goes with this book. Too many characters are involved in this story which spoilt the essence of the story.
• 
  Anamika

  This was a particularly difficult read for me with multiple characters being introduced in the first 50 pages of the book. As many that you wouldn't even remember if you read it three times, well I tried. However I kept on reading it and got a heart ache reading about the unfulfilled love of the tawaifs. The ghazals and poems are beautiful, the evenings described made me feel that I was there, part of celebrations and galas. I wish there was more though, more about love, more about heart aches, more about reputations fading, more about ageing tawaifs. It kept me wanting for more, of everything.
• 
  Smitha Murthy

  There’s something in me that doesn’t do well with overly poetic, flowery prose. I was intrigued by the premise of ‘Memory of Light.’ I haven’t read much historical fiction from India, and this promised much after I first came across it through a friend’s review.
  
  But there were too many characters. I was utterly confused by all the names. I could not figure out a Nadira from a Shirin and who they were in the narrator’s life. When you are confused reading a book, you just want the confusion to end. And the book.
  
  That’s how it was for me.
• 
  Diksha Solomon

  A book that'll leave you with an after taste of nostalgic memories. There are too many characters in this book, so it gets difficult to keep a track of them. However, with the beauty of the snippets of poetry, the rich and vibrant atmosphere and of course, the story in itself, it makes for a good one-time read!
• 
  Madhukari

  So glad to have accidentally stumbled upon this beautiful historical Saphhic romance set in colonial India. It narrates the untold story of silenced tawaifs. The lyrical prose and the heart wrenching love story will live on in my mind. The book reminded me of The Song of Achilles.
• 
  Aaditya Pandey

  I have always been wary of historical fiction genre, weaving facts and stories. Ruth Vanita, however, writes so much to love and long for, about the unknown characters of tawaifs and poets, and their interconnected personal world.
• 
  Padmashri Chavan

  Beautiful just beautiful relationship between nafis and chapla. My heart is aching for them.
• 
  Rhea

  well-researched and deeply poetic
• 
  Sujana Ramesh

  I took a long time shooting this picture and it's a self portrait after a very long time! I hope you like it🙈
  
  I was drawn to this book by the absolutely beautiful cover. I still cannot get over how gorgeous it is! I read the blurb and thought Hey, this sounds good and just picked it up. I have never read a Lesbian rep book before so I was all the more excited for this one!
  
  Set in Lucknow, this is the story of two girls, Nafis and Chapla. They are part of the performance teams that were popular in the times of Nawabs and kings. Though they grew up in different cities, these two young girls met at a gala and fell in love. The book talks about how the love between these two young girls blossomed within the environment they lived in.
  
  Let me talk about the good things in this book first. Firstly Acceptance. Every character in this book was accepted for exactly who they were. Though there was a lot of drama and fiasco, The acceptance was universal. It didn't matter whom you loved and finding such an environment is a huge boon. Secondly, the love story in the book was serene. Something about it gave me a peaceful feeling.
  
  Nevertheless, I was overall disappointed with this book. They say too many cooks spoil the broth and this book is a perfect example of that. There were too many characters without enough context for any of them. The entire story seemed muddled to me. At some parts, I couldn't even understand who this person was and what was going on. I felt that the main characters were stifled and did not have the opportunity to grow. I would have preferred a well-progressed character ARC for the two main characters with minimal side characters.
  
  Not a book I would recommend to those looking for lesbian reps!