| Title | : | Broken Roads: Returning to My Amish Father |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1546012060 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781546012061 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 272 |
| Publication | : | Published May 12, 2020 |
In Broken Roads, Ira Wagler uses his singular voice to unapologetically, but compassionately, illuminate the inner world of the Amish community through his story of life after leaving, what feels like his inevitable return to his Amish father, and how they might mend the relationship between them before it's too late.
Through difficult reunions, struggles confronted, and betrayals revisited, Wagler explores burning questions of faith and identity shared by millions, whether Amish or not. Readers may recognize themselves along these paths with Wagler, as he grapples with choices, faith, family, the past, and the future.
Broken Roads: Returning to My Amish Father Reviews
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Ira Wagler's memoir,
Broken Roads: Returning to My Amish Father, is an incredible memoir that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
Wagler's first book,
Growing Up Amish, was published in 2011 and Broken Roads was published in 2020.
Wagler grew up Amish and left the Amish at age 26. Wagler is the 5th son of a 5th son. He was the ninth child in a family of eleven children. Wagler mentions that the Amish have hard, ruthless laws about shunning those who leave the Amish.
Yet it is a universally powerful thing for a child to yearn for his father's acceptance and blessing. In this book, Wagler's ninety-seven year old father is dying. With age, a certain mellowness seeps in. His father softened as he aged and each time Wagler visited, he and his father would talk late into the night.
Wagler was the first person in his family to get his college degree and to get an advanced degree. He was also the first person in his family to get divorced. He describes his relentless pursuit of knowledge, freedom and hope.
Thomas Wolfe is Wagler's favorite author and he references him throughout the book, particularly with the phrase "You can't go home again."
Wagler poignantly describes the aging and death of his mother and father as well as a reflection on the roads (choices) he has taken.
Highly recommend!
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An easy read for people wanting to know what happened to Ira after growing up Amish. Although Ira remembers details very well about places and times, he has a hard time connecting with his inner feelings and expressing them. At times he is vulnerable, but I would have loved to have seen more emotional expression. I guess some things are hard to overcome and to deal with in life. A great read for the weekend.
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Ira Wagler writes of his life after having left the Amish community. In a previous book, he wrote about how he came to leave and the leaving. The title of this book speaks to his relationship with his father, who had difficulty accepting his decision to leave, but this is only one part of the story.
He tells how he found his way to a GED and a community college where he excelled. He chose to go to Bob Jones University and it is interesting to read how someone from and Amish background experienced this fundamentalist university. He goes to law school and tells how this is at odds with is upbringing. Even more outside his past, he experiences divorce.
When he visits his parents, he stays in a house with no heat, lanterns and his mother makes simple food. It took a while for his father to permit Ira to park his car near the house. His father published a periodical that promotes Amish family life that is widely read throughout the Amish world. His father shunned him for leaving, a little less than as the years went on.
The book provokes thought for some of the things said in passing. Ira has a brother who also left the Amish. He meets a woman who has too. There are many others he meets in passing who either left the Amish or work in the world of the English.
While his father uses a typewriter, there is mention of using a family web site for the details of his father’s funeral. Relatives go to Ontario (Canada) for this funeral from Ohio, Iowa, Indiana and other places… presumably not by buggies. Some stay at a Comfort Inn where there is electricity and running water. All this makes me wonder how long these communities can continue.
This book has charm but I feel I missed the more interesting book, the one on how he came to leave the Amish and his early days outside Amish community life. -
I find this book difficult to evaluate since Ira Wagler is my uncle (I am mentioned on page 238). I will give it a 5 star rating, however, if for no other reason than my uncle's writings help me process my own life. Though our stories differ, there are some similarities and there is even some overlap. I identify so much with his struggle for approval from his parents, for instance, and finding the freedom/permission to feel and experience and be introspective after being raised in a restrictive subculture.
That said, I can see why readers who have no connection to my uncle would find the book difficult in places. The scope of the book is ambitious--he weaves in both of his parents' funerals, a divorce, and his education. It's not woven together particularly well, which may be the fault of the publisher/editors more than anything. However, the writing is quite absorbing and cinematic, and most readers shouldn't have a problem staying engaged, especially if they can see past the choppy sentences and random side notes, such as the riffs on Comfort Inn and the ins and outs of luggage sets. I think these idiosyncrasies can best be understood in light of Wagler's Amish upbringing (i.e. both the lack of complex sentences, and the almost childlike remarking upon at certain elements of everyday life that might seem banal to someone raised in a more mainstream setting).
Overall an unpretentious and vulnerable story from someone who is honestly seeking healing and freedom. It was especially interesting to read about his foray into higher education after leaving the Amish, as well as his interaction with his father on the success of Growing Up Amish (in the chapter entitled, Returning to My Father). -
Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for providing this book in exchange for an honest review.
This is kind of a sequel to his first book although it's not crucial that the reader read the first one. I did think this book was better than the first but I still had a somewhat difficult time getting through it. The flow of the book wasn't as smooth as I prefer, but that's my issue.
Ira gives an honest account of how his life went after leaving the Amish for the last time. All the ups and downs of finding his place, overcoming divorce and addiction, and his parents decline and eventual death. Such a sad story overall but like he says, it is what it is. -
I loved Growing Up Amish and was thrilled when I was asked to read and review this book. As an author of Amish fiction, I love realistic glimpses into the Amish world. Broken Roads is a fantastic book about one man's struggles after leaving the Amish. So many times the focus is on what leads up to the need to leave. Broken Roads takes it a step further.
Still I wonder at the title. I'm not sure why it has the subtitle of "Returning to my Amish Father." That to me sounds like Wagler is trying to go back home to the Amish, not make it in the English world. The premise of the book takes the reader from the present--the imminent death of his father--through what happened to him after leaving the Amish and back to the present and Wagler's journey to Canada just before his father passes. However this misconception in no way takes away from the fact that this book is heartfelt and beautifully written.
Wagler has a literary yet conversational style that makes you want to read every word. I found myself reading slower and slower, savoring what he wrote. After I finished the last page, I wanted more. What happens next?
If you love books about the Amish and their unique culture, be sure to get yourself a copy of Broken Roads. You won't be disappointed!
I was given a copy of this book by its publisher in exchange for an honest review. The views expressed in this review are mine and mine alone. <3 -
I had very mixed feelings about this one. I'll start with what I liked: Though Wagler left the Amish community, he doesn't berate or make fun of them. He has his differences, and his attitude is one of total acceptance. I marvel that he could forgive his ex-wife and his childhood friend for their affair. I hope that I have that kind of forgiveness in my heart. What a horrible thing to experience. I like that though Wagler is aware of his father's many flaws and that his mother was often badly treated, he recognizes the good qualities in his father and gives him credit for loving and waiting on his mother during her Alzheimer's decline. Where I really struggled was with the editing. This was really badly edited. It made sense later, when Wagler implies that it was compiled from a blog...but a blog is not a book, and a book is not social media. Some of it was intentional due to the conversational quality. Much of it was just bad editing. I'm a purist, I guess, and I feel strongly that a higher standard of writing is required for a book. It's in a class of its own. Any idiot can write a blog, post on the FacePile, etc. (as so much of the world proves on a daily basis). Alas, this "writing" has rendered almost non-existent any standard there ever was. Wagler can write, and he does a great job sharing his feelings and thoughts. The book just needs a good editing job. It is worth a read, and it was a good use of my time - especially in what it causes the reader to do introspectively.
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I loved Ira's first book,
Growing Up Amish, and was excited to read his second book. I was not disappointed. I couldn't put it down.
Ira writes with deep, thought-provoking, brutal, refreshing honesty. We follow his life where the previous book left off, experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly, through marriage, divorce, addiction, and deaths. And through it all, and in spite of everything, we find reconciliation.
That theme runs throughout the book. Not in a preachy way, but naturally in the course of his life experiences.
The title,
Broken Roads, and the cover photo are perfect. Bouncing along cracked and broken roads heading towards sunset -- a metaphor for all our lives -- there is the hope of reconciliation and redemption at the end of the road. -
Ira Wagler’s first book, Growing Up Amish, was about leaving a life he’d always known. Broken Roads on the other hand, was about reaching back out to his parents, especially his father, before it was too late.
I have always been fascinated with reading about other cultures or faith. Ira Wagler’s account was so personal, sincere, casual and heartfelt, it was almost like I was with him the whole time while he took me to the places and introduced me to the people in his story. I felt like a friend with whom he unabashedly opened up about his aches and pains, his highs and lows. I laud his faith, respect and quiet persistence with his father. While he might have left the Amish way of life, his heart never really left his family. -
This was a very interesting read, even though I haven't read his first book. I was impressed by the level of honesty of the author and his value placed on the importance and power of forgiveness. And he had some pretty huge things in his life to forgive others for. There were some very beautiful, heartfelt sections. I didn't care a great deal for his choppy writing style and loads of incomplete sentences, but I could tell that was just his style. I appreciated his sincere attempt to offer unbiased facts, even where he had suffered a great deal of pain. I found some of his platitudes quite repetitive, though. Despite the things I didn't love about the book, I would recommend it to pretty much anyone as an introspective read and one with many valuable insights.
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Meh
I've long read books of Amish life. This was just so-so. It was a fast easy read. Wagler's writing style surprised me that his first book was a NY Times bestseller. liked that Wagler could appreciate the good and faithfulness of a belief that he rejected and not bash it completely and repetitively. He was repetitive with descriptions however along with statements that his mother was dead. I was most surprised to read of both Bob Jones University and Tim Keller inn those book. -
And that's just the way it is.
I didn't read the first book, and have never heard of Ira Wagler.
I got this book as an ARC. And my very first one. It could have been more exciting. My first ARC. But that's just the way it was. It happened.
It was choppy. And every sentence started with And. Also. Repeated. Also, not sure what I was reading.
That's just the way it is. -
A poignant follow-up to Growing Up Amish. Ira Wagler returns with his distinctive voice and beautiful stories.
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While I was a big fan of his initial book "Growing Up Amish," I cannot say that about this book. While it picked up the story where his first book left off, the story was not well written. While the book is subtitled "Returning to My Amish Father," it really does not have much to do with that at all. This is more a personal memoir of his college years, marriage (and later divorce, struggle with alcohol, and the passing of both of his parents. This book was not focused on returning to his father, righting past wrongs, etc.
The writing style left a lot to be desired. Over and over throughout the book, he repeated some variation of the phrase "And that's just the way it was." We get it - this is the story of your life, but the writing is entirely unprofessional. When you're writing, you have the ability to go back and edit, so it shouldn't seem like a conversation where you say something and then remember another point, so need to make that too. You can go back and edit both points together. For example, in the last chapter (since I just finished), he says "there are some politics involved in choosing who get to preach at an Amish funeral. And that's about all I got to say about that." He says things like that repeatedly. This book couldn't been 10 pages shorter if the editors would've taken out mass redundancies like that.
Again, on page 237, he says "Only two buildings remained from my childhood days there. The vast old frame barn and the block washhouse. Oh, and the old shop and machinery shed. We had just built that shed new the year we left. So only three actual physical things remained." I get it if it's a conversation, but why couldn't it have said "Only three buildings remained from my childhood days - the vast old frame barn, the block washhouse, and the old shop/machinery shed, which was built the year we left." See the difference? You're able to go back and fix these things.
Additionally, there was just way too many names. Way way way way way too many names. It gets highly confusing - who is married to whom, who is a cousin, second cousin, etc. I feel like he almost wrote it down just to keep it right in his own head for later or for his family's benefit - but it really stunk as a reader to go through that. Similar to in the Bible where you can get bogged down in the genealogy of Jesus, you can easily get bogged down in the amount of names.
The last chapter was almost an hour-by-hour play-by-play of the days leading up to his father's funeral. Again, great for Ira and the family - but for a reader, it was mind-blowingly boring. I couldn't wait to get through those last THIRTY pages - all of the last chapter.
To be honest, he just seemed whiny in this book. Almost like a sad man who didn't have much go right in his life, so he puts his woes out there. I understand it's his life, his personal views and experiences...but it does NOT make a good read. I do not recommend this book at all.
I was so happy to be done with this book. I really hoped I was going to enjoy it as much as his first, but it didn't even come close. -
Respect and Honor
Ira has a different way with words. His sentences don’t flow, but they are written with heart and passion and resolve.
What was most satisfying for me was although not all was perfect in Ira’s world, he didn’t let it define the message of his book. He shows respect and extends honor and leaves anything that could’ve caused bitterness to fester at the door. He writes honestly and from his heart.
I was having issues with his writing style in the beginning, but decided to lay my preferences down and learn what his message is.
I shed a few tears, I was surprised at one or two things, and I smiled. I am glad I took the time to read this book. -
Ira has the unique ability to give us a look into not only the life of the Amish, but also the life of one who has left the Amish community. His relationship with his father, mother, and his siblings is extremely tangled and semi-broken, but all of them seem to attempt to keep contact and love one another through it all. Ira has overcome many struggles in his life: divorce, alcoholism. He remains solid in his faith, but not necessarily the same faith he was raised on. I think Ira is a very strong individual for the choices he made and also his decision to share his life experiences with others--even the rough parts.
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It's been a while since I read Ira Wagler's first book, Growing Up Amish, so it's difficult for me to compare his two books. I did enjoy reading his first book, but I really enjoyed Broken Roads. His first book dealt with his difficulties of accepting Amish ways. He struggled with living up to their ideal standards and was caught between two worlds of the Amish and the English (as the Amish call those outside of their group). Ira could definitely see flaws in his Amish family. Their journeys through life as Amish involved displaying themselves as more perfect than the reality of who they really are. In Ira's first book he displays his struggle with these realities and his difficulty living in the Amish ways.
In Broken Roads, Ira very effectively communicates his thoughts and feelings. I could identify and relate very well to many situations he lived with. He writes in a way that all can understand his journey. He tells about dealing with his family and helping them to understand his walk away from the Amish. At first his father would judge him quite harshly for leaving, but in time, his father accepted Ira and his decisions. His chapter about his mother's death and funeral were particularly descriptive of extremely hard struggles in life that we all face at some point. Many other hard struggles he faced were divorce, addictions, and forgiving others. His expounding of these enlightened me to new depths of his spiritual life. Ira certainly comes to a place of acceptance of who he is and his journey. His second book displays more peace and understanding. This author made me wish there was more to read. He certainly communicates well the hard realities of life. -
In Broken Roads, Ira Wagler has written a follow up book to his first book. This one opens up about the Amish lifestyle and goes into details about his desire to leave. He was born the ninth child of eleven children. His parents were David and Ida Wagler and they was raised in Daviess County, Indiana. His parents moved their family out to smaller communities. His father helped start Pathway Publisher with a few of his friends. They wrote on historical subjects and articles related to the Amish community. Ira shared how he felt they were all less than truthful and try to appear like they were perfect people. In the book, he shared why he decided to leave at 26 and travel down a broken road. He ran away from marrying an Amish girl, Sarah and his father warned him that he would pay for it. He left and decided to pursue and get his GED and how he made his way into Vincennes University. He goes into detail about his life in college and even how he wound up at Bob Jones University. He eventually entered law school and revealed how the Amish community doesn’t really use any lawyers because they don’t sue.
In the book, he opened up about how he met his wife, Ellen and how they struggled in their marriage. He shared how broken their marriage was and everything that played into the fallen out and the decision to get divorced. He shared how his childhood friend ended up dating Ellen later for about a year and how that affected him. He shared how he later was able to forgive his friend and how he even joined a Bible study with him. He also opened up about how he wrote his first book and how it sold a great number of books. He also shared how he returned to his father and what their relationship was like after leaving the Amish. He also got personal in sharing out his mother pasted and then years later his father pasted. He opened up about what their funerals was like.
I would recommend this amazing book to anyone who is wondering about the Amish lifestyle and they are curious on how someone was able to leave it. I immensely liked how honest Ira was in revealing the painful past and going through a divorce. I haven’t read his first book but I was able to still follow along with his life story. I also liked how he explained how his father relationship changed over the years and how God was able to turn it around. The book had a few God teachable moments throughout the book but it was more of an autobiography of his life. It didn’t include tons of scriptures. But I still believe readers will be able to connect and learn from the book.
"I received this book free from the publisher, Faithwords for my honest review.” -
Ira Wagler left his Amish background. This is something he did with lots of thought. For those who are not familiar with the Amish, leaving results in shunning. Essentially there is not much interaction between the family and the child who has decided to leave. This doesn’t mean they can’t visit. The family always holds out hope that the one who left will come to their senses and return to their faith.
In this second book by Ira we get what I believe is a deeper look into his life after leaving. It begins with his reason for telling this story. On this occasion, he is preparing to go back home because his father is dying. He wasn’t the only one who left. He is representing those siblings who left and can’t go back. He would go back to visit his family. There was always an admonishment to come. The title is very appropriate. Through the book, we see how the path he traveled through life was like a broken road. Through sharing his life with the public we see that no matter what our path looks like, no matter how broken it is, there is always hope. He shared both the good and bad decisions he made. He showed how far he strayed and how God always led him back. This is not a book that is written in a strict chronological order. It felt more like sitting and having a conversation with the author where he shares stories as one thing connects to another. I read this in just a couple of hours. I didn’t want to put it down. -
I did not read Wagler's first book but considering it was a best seller, I hope it was better written than this one. All the chapters seemed like individual essays that were just thrown together to make a book. Because of that, there were a lot of repeats from one chapter to another and the book felt very incohesive. Also, there were a lot of statements that didn't read well. A lot of "it is what it is" and "I guess" and "whatever." I think Wagler was trying to make it sound casual and conversational but it didn't read well at all. I don't put all the blame on Wagler. I'm sure he has an editor and that person did not do this book any favors.
As if the writing wasn't enough of a detriment, the subtitle is "Returning to My Amish Father." One would expect much of the book to be stories about reconnecting with his father and how he felt about that reconnection. One would be wrong. His father barely makes an appearance in the book. Wagler spends more time on his father's funeral than any space given to interacting with his father. The subtitle of this book should actually be "How Divorce Affected My Life" because he talks about his ex way more than his dad.
I appreciate the publisher sending me an advance copy and I really wanted to like this book because of that but I just couldn't. -
After reading Ira Wagler's delightful and poignant memoir Growing Up Amish, I immediately went and bought the sequel (full price no less!). Fairly early on it becomes clear that Wagler didn't have much else to add to his life story, but who wouldn't try to capitalize on such a runaway bestseller as his first book was? Wagler can be a sublime writer - he has a very simple but profound style though it occasionally slips into monotony - however not much happens here. Yes, he breaks away from the Amish fear of education by not only going to university but graduating magna cum laude. He gets married, then breaks away again by getting divorced. (His wife has an affair with his best friend- can't get much more un-Amish than that! Though perhaps a guy almost 40 should have suspected a marriage to a 25-year-old woman wasn't the wisest idea).
But all of this stuff is just life... and unfortunately, Wagler isn't quite up to the task of transcending the banality of it. -
Thank you to Faithwords for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review.
I read the author's first book four years ago, which I enjoyed quite a bit. Ira Wagler's writing is thought-provoking, and often, brutally honest as well as emotional.
Growing Up Amish was about leaving the life he had always known. Broken Roads is about Ira's life after leaving the Amish, making peace with his demons, and eventually having a relationship with his parents after choosing to leave the Amish.
I felt this book was very personal, perhaps sort of journal-like. You could really feel the author's pain. But it was also comforting; You can tell Ira has reflected on his life and experiences. He has overcome addiction and made peace with a lot.
At times it could be repetitive and felt a bit disorganized. Besides that, I thought it was a nice follow-up to the first book. -
I received this book from net gallery and the publisher for an honest review. I did not read the first book so came into Ira’s life after he left the Amish. He repeated constantly. There was no real time line but more like he put together the book from his blogs. This led to a chapter where the father died than in the next chapter the father was alive again. In another the father died then in the same chapter the father was alive again. He needed a good editor. He liked implying how smart he is but I didn’t read any evidence of that including his second or third rate schools. There are better books on people who have left societies like the Amish. I would not recommend this one
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Broken Roads is an appropriate title and the latest book from NY Times bestselling author Ira Wagler. The book is thought-provoking, brutally honest and extremely well written. I have always been interested in different religions and cultures so this book provided me a deep insight into the Amish community. I am glad that Ira Wagler is extremely honest and allows the reader a glimpse into the Amish way of life. From the Amish traditions to the trials and tribulations of marriage, faith, life, divorce and death, Ira takes the reader on an amazing journey that is sure to have you reflecting on your own life and path through life. I couldn't put this book down. I highly recommend this book!
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I received a free copy of this book by the publisher for a book review. This is Ira Wagler's second book about leaving the Amish community he grew up in. He continues writing about the years spent going to colleges and eventually getting a degree as a lawyer. Living among the "english" and separate from his family. He writes of going back home for holidays and when each of his parents fell ill and died. He married for some of the time. and his dealing with his drinking problem. I well written book.
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People’s stories, particularly those of religious folk, always intrigue me. Growing up in an area full of Amish people, their stories remind me of home. I really wanted to like this book after reading the first one some time ago but I just couldn’t. It skipped around a lot, added too many details at times but perhaps worst of all, and no fault of the author, was the horrible editing job. Three or four word sentences most beginning with the word “and.” It was a difficult read and I found myself jumping ahead to get through it.
