Upper Bohemia: A Memoir by Hayden Herrera

Upper Bohemia: A Memoir Reviews

• 
  Jeanette (Ms. Feisty)

  
  3.5 stars
• 
  Kelsey Stalvey

  This memoir is a unique look into the eclectic childhood of Hayden Harrera and her sister Blair. As children of “bohemian” parents in the 1940s, both girls learned how to fend for their own in multiple boarding schools while their parents were shuffling through multiple spouses. With each new marriage (five for each parent!), came a new city, a new house, a new school. Hayden was on the never ending quest for her parents’ attention and affection, although most of the time receiving the opposite. •
  •
  I appreciated that the author kept her tone neutral throughout, allowing the reader to form their own opinion on the parenting style she was subject to. The sentences felt short and direct, although at times it felt as though I was reading through a child’s point of view: jumping from one description to the next without pause. I never felt a deep connection to Hayden or her stories due to the detached style of storytelling, but this memoir was compelling nonetheless. Fans of #TheGlassCastle would enjoy this book!
  
  I received a free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
• 
  Rachelr

  quit not quite half way through. it was not good. the story was surprisingly boring, for having parents who seemed like such interesting people. but interesting people who make bad parents make for a bad story when told by their children. she seemed indifferent but a little butt-hurt by their negligence, and her writing was quite bad. weird, short sentences. it was not engaging. i also didn't like how she kept referring to her childhood self as overweight. i'm sure she heard that all the time from others, but you could tell from the photos that she was only barely overweight, and it just fed into the overall negative energy of the book. would not recommend.
• 
  Michael Ritchie

  A person with an apparently interesting upbringing writes a tedious memoir. Her style is plain and the anecdotes she tells are unmemorable. I was hoping for so much out of this, based on the jacket and blurbs.
• 
  Virginia

  I was so mad I couldn't even cry, so I escaped from the house by a side door and went for a high-tide swim. Water always collected the pieces of me and put them back together.

  Written with a very deceptive simplicity in the voice of her childhood self, Hayden Herrera (who's about 80 at the time of this writing) looks back at her jealous, narcissistic, manipulative mother and easily-distracted doofus of a father who let their daughters down at every opportunity but still provided them with an amazingly varied childhood. I enjoyed that the author gave us the "facts" from her very clear memory without, for the most part, putting an adult's critical spin on them. Her childhood was simply just what it was. This reminded me of why memoir is my favourite literary form. Herrera is, after all, a professional writer who knows exactly what she's doing here.

  The next morning seagulls woke me early. They find clams on the sand flats, fly high up, and drop them on the rocks to break open their shells. Then they squabble about which gull gets to eat the clam. There is something melancholy about seagulls' cries. They go on and on regardless of whether I hear them, and they will keep crying that same cry even after I am dead.
• 
  Janilyn Kocher

  When I first read the synopsis I thought the time frame would be the 1960s. I was surprised it was actually the 1940s. Hayden's childhood was chaotic. Both parents had numerous partners and marriages. Both parents were self-absorbed and neglectful. I felt sorry for Hayden and her sister Blair. They had few stabilizing adults in their lives. Hayden connected with a pond at her father's place in New England that symbolized happiness and contentment. Her writing is interesting and her story fascinating. She squeezes in the rest of her life in an epilogue, but I think it would have been an equally interesting second memoir. Thanks to Edelweiss, NetGalley, and Simon and Schuster for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Sarah Tittle

  Terrible. And please Simon and Schuster, hire a better copy editor. Stationary store? Confidant instead of confident? Someone else needs to write and publish this story.
• 
  Jill

  A matter-of-fact recounting of Hayden's rather peripatetic childhood with selfish parents who seemingly cared more about themselves than their kids. The parents brushed shoulders with some famous folks while Hayden and her sister were often left to fend for themselves. I did love that the author included some photos; they didn't necessarily coincide w/ what was written on the page, but they helped keep my interest. The ending felt abrupt and rather rushed, but for the most part, I was entertained.
• 
  Erika Reynolds

  Upper Bohemia is a memoir detailing the childhood of Hayden Herrera and her sister, Blair. Born to artistic parents who were more concerned with their own pleasure than raising children, Hayden and Blair spent their youth traveling between various relatives, countries, and schools. While the girls were often sent away to boarding schools so their parents could focus on their various spouses and partners (each were married 5 times), Hayden doesn’t look back on her childhood with anger. The tone of this book reminds me a lot of Jeannette Walls’ The Glass Castle. Neither author is wrapped up in the emotion of a childhood plagued by unstable parents; instead, they both recall their upbringing in a manner that lets the reader make their own judgments.
  
  Hayden’s life story is interesting, but I felt she spent too much time providing details into her family’s history that were not necessary for understanding the book or her experiences. In fact, it was a little rough to get through the first 3-4 chapters. After that, the book takes off in the best way. Hayden is very matter of fact in her writing, which I appreciate. The language isn’t flowery, but she does a wonderful job of providing just enough details of her life in Mexico to keep anyone unfamiliar with the culture along for the ride. The ending felt very abrupt, though. I didn’t realize I was on the last chapter, and had it not been for the postscript, the ending would have been very anticlimactic. The postscript is a nice touch that gives some insight into Hayden and Blair’s adult lives, but I didn’t feel satisfied with the last chapter of their childhood. Overall, this is a unique life story that is worth reading.
  
  Thank you to Net Galley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Roxanne

  Non-Fiction Review by Roxanne Baker, Book Seller
  
  Hayden Herrera’s Memoir Upper Bohemia (Simon & Schuster Available June 9th)
  
  What a salve and a joy to read Hayden Herrera’s Upper Bohemia during the Covid-19 crisis, but even without a stay at home order, you’ll relish Hayden’s beautiful writing style and specificity with which she details her child rearing years, tossed back and forth between two parental bohemians with a capital B.
  
  Suffice to say, her parents each had five marriages. Start with that and you can imagine the school changes, residential moves, Hayden and her biological sister Blair experienced. From Cape Cod to Boston’s Beacon Hill to Mexico City, Hayden was yanked back and forth between these two creative types.
  
  What tickled me most about the book were detailed memories so vivid I channeled back through childhood files of my own that I hadn’t thought about in years. so vivid I channeled back through childhood files of my own that I hadn’t thought about in years. Playing ring around the rosey, the orchestration of simple birthday party games, adjusting to the boredom of being on vacation and desperately reading whatever was on hand, like being unsatisfied by Veronica and Archie comics, brought back so many similar sensory images.
  
  On the flipside, I also got to live vicariously through Mexican travel one can only dream about right now. Hayden’s vast cultural experiences at bull fights, an Easter All Souls procession, hiking pyramids at Teotihuacan, and a horrible tragedy she witnessed at a Mexican craft celebration. The family photographs scattered throughout give an added flair and personal touch.
  
  I cried when the book ended. It was as if Hayden was telling me fun bedtime stories helping me remember fun times in my own past more cherished now in our health emergency and giving me the gift of travel when none is available. A Godsend!.
  
  
• 
  Jennifer

  I first came upon this book after reading a debut novel by the author's niece, Miranda Cowley Heller, called The Paper Palace--many of the family dynamics she described in her book were actually part of her own family history dating back several generations. Then, Upper Bohemia came up again in The New Yorker in a round-up of the year's best books. I really loved The Paper Palace and enjoyed reading Upper Bohemia as a companion piece to that in a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction kind of way. The author certainly had an unconventional, offbeat, and sort of appalling childhood and her mother came across as really pretty dreadful, narcissistic, and detached, although Herrera, to her credit, describes her in a very matter-of-fact and non-judgmental way. I would have been interested to have found out more about what happened to Herrera after she started high school and college and got married and became an art historian, but that was actually beyond the scope of the book.
• 
  Jeaninne Escallier Kato

  Hayden's biography of Frida Kahlo made me a fan for life. Subsequently, I have read many of her biographies. She is a gifted writer, art historian and movie consultant. When I saw this book in the bookstore, I thought, "I bet Hayden must have lived an interesting life to have such an appreciation for artists and the creative process." I wasn't wrong. Hayden descends from a long line of artists and aristocrats, two extremes of a very wide continuum that just so happened to meet in the middle. The two juxtapositions of Hayden's lineage collided into an explosive childhood filled with adventure, awe, shock, betrayal, abandonment, wonder, freedom, self-expression and survival.
  
  I didn't expect to learn the depth of her avant-garde, bittersweet life with parents whose own needs were more important than their children's. (Parental narcissism is always a complicated beast.) But Hayden's masterful storytelling keeps the reader from hating her parents. Her words paint the pictures of the love that always existed underneath the abject self-centeredness of adults who professed the need to express their creativity without boundaries, even to the detriment of child-rearing. As a reader, I felt how we as human beings are all universally flawed in some way.
  
  However, Hayden's no-holds-barred narration made me feel immense gratitude for the mother I have had all my life. At 91, and still going strong, my mother is still my best friend. While I was reading this memoir, I felt a sadness for Hayden for not having the kind of mother who put her children first, who loved openly and freely, who would have never left her children with other people to chase various men. I had a father like that so I could feel that grief somewhat, but a girl needs her mother at all stages of maturation. It's how we learn to be fearless, brave, strong women.
  
  But here's where Hayden's genius as a writer comes into play- she never makes you feel sorry for her. There is always redemption in her stories, in her characters, in her loved ones. She left me with the fulfillment that everyone in her life gave her gifts to become the woman she is today. She had her own family and achieved much. She lived a rich, colorful, adventurous life with many great role models who loved her. She was able to splice all those experiences into a tapestry of creativity that manifests beautifully in her work. I enjoyed her stories as much as I felt them in a sad, bittersweet way. But isn't that life? And don't we all have similar stories in our own families? Of course we do.
• 
  Marian

  "Our terrible mother gave Blair and me a wonderful life." Thus, begins art historian Hayden Herrera's coming-of-age memoir on growing up with her sister, Blair, in a very unorthodox and unconventional way. Born to parents more consumed with satisfying their own desires and pleasures than raising their children, these "upper bohemian" adults (a term interestingly coined by Herrera's mother) catered primarily to their own wants and needs. The children of these adults were given quite a bit of freedom, alarmingly so as you read about Herrera's growing up years.
  
  As Herrera chronicles what is was like growing up in New York City, Cape Cod, and Mexico, there were points in the book where I felt that instead of recounting past events, she simply listed them in a rather disjointed way. In addition, there were times when it felt that Herrera switched narration from first person adult to first person child. These were my main criticisms of an otherwise fascinating account of a world filled with aloof and self-serving adults whose children only wanted their parents' love and approval.
  
  In the end, Herrera and Blair are testaments to the fact that you can grow up despite your parents not being parents. And while their life was lived pretty much on the edge, it was never dull.
  
  Thank you to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Publishing for this ARC in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Mara

  A fascinating memoir about growing up with "Upper Bohemian" parents in the 1940-50s. Herrera describes Upper Bohemian as those born into wealth/privilege that decide to live in unconventional ways. Hayden Herrera's parents were both artists and constantly in flux. Her parents constantly moved and married different partners multiple times during her childhood. This lead to Herrera and her older sister living in many homes in Massachusetts, New York, and Mexico with each parent and their partners. Instability was the only constant for Hayden and her sister, Blair. Their parents were more concerned with satisfying their desires and whims than being parents, which forced their children to learn independence early on. There was Herrera's parents grew up in worlds of wealth and privilege, so it's fascinating to hear the name dropping of those in their circles, including famous artists and families that built major American institutions. 'Upper Bohemia' reads like someone recounting their chaotic childhood at a party with artists. This didn't always work for me as some parts were a little disjointed and slow. Despite being pretty short, this took me a while to get through. Overall, a unique perspective recounting the fascinating experiences of a child of Upper Bohemians in the 1940-50s.
  
  Thank you NetGalley and Simon & Schuster for providing this ARC.
• 
  Neptune

  Yes interesting stories within it in. But it felt more like a list of what happened, with details, rather than good storytelling and writing techniques put to use. It made me realize that writing style can be much more important than the content itself. I have read books that have much less going out but were much more emotionally intriguing and addicting. The book felt very dry, despite the nature of the story (she went through what most children will never; and yet it felt so lackluster). The detached story telling sometimes made it boring, when otherwise it could/and should have been a poignant read.
  
  I was very excited about this one, so a little disappointed! She is an art historian and it felt like she was writing a history of her life rather than a memoir with storytelling.
  
  Took me a long time to finish. And I read fast.
• 
  Jessica Van Tassell

  I am not sure what I just read…but I did finish it so…it was at least ok? Who knows?!
• 
  Renee

  For the author and her sister, to those looking in, it appears that their childhood was idyllic and surreal; filled with world travel and adventure. But underneath, the pain of being a parent’s afterthought was palpable. The author’s parents each married five times and their main priority was following their artistic desires and remaining unconventional.
  Her parents were good friends with Max Ernst, the Guggenheim’s and many other famous artists who were born to privilege, and who chose to focus on the “life of the mind”, as opposed to the daily mundane responsibilities of everyday life. It was Herrera’s mother who coined the term “upper bohemia.”
  Both parents were charismatic, interesting, and physically beautiful but highly narcissistic as well. Herrera’s account of growing up in multiple countries and attending eight schools in eight years was riveting and as unorthodox and frightening (at times) as her childhood was, it seems she grew up with the ability to adjust to just about any of life’s situation ; both planned and unplanned.
  
• 
  Ellen Terry

  This was recommend somewhere I thought was trustworthy, but it turns out I was wrong. 50% of the way through the author was still 4 years old! It was just weird. She describes things like musical as if it’s a novel idea her mom came up with? Her parents were moderately neglectful and alternative but that does not mean her childhood warrants a book.
• 
  Brocka

  Sadly, more boring than expected
• 
  Penny

  Upper Bohemia is a memoir based on the childhood of art historian Hayden Herrera.
  Herrera is probably best known as the author of "Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo". The book was later adapted into the movie "Frida" produced by Salma Hayek, who also starred in the film.
  Born in Boston in 1940, her wealthy artistic parents rejected all social convention of that era opting instead for a vagabond lifestyle. This book is an account of that lifestyle seen through a child's eyes.
  Despite growing up shuffled between parents, relatives, schools and countries, Herrera managed to have quite an extraordinary childhood. She sums it up best by saying "Our terrible mother gave Blair and me a wonderful life"
  While rich in detail, the narrative is very matter-of-fact. Herrera does not dwell on the emotional or negative aspects of her upbringing. Instead of placing blame, she chooses to focus on how she grew from the experience.
  Though sad, and even shocking at some points, this engrossing memoir is also unexpectedly beautiful and uplifting.
  *Thank you Simon & Schuster Publishing, Hayden Herrera and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Alexis Newkirk

  This was a very tedious listen about a unique childhood. I think there is definitely value in this story, particularly for family or friends of the writer, but as an average reader it felt too detailed and slow moving for my taste.
• 
  Andrea

  Upper Bohemia is the terms used to describe a group of counter-cultural individuals in the 1930s and 1940s. After that came the "Beats" and the "Hippies". Upper Bohemians chose a lifestyle of free love, art, living simply etc. This book details Hayden Herrera's childhood with parents as Bohemains. It was fascinating, since I had not really read much about that counter-cultural group.
  I also love how Ms. Herrera describes her childhood, very simple but detailed.
  
• 
  Christen Pettit Miller

  Reading even one more comment about how the upper class bohemian author was fat as a child would have kept me from finishing this book.
  
  It was interesting and intriguing until it wasn’t.
  
  
• 
  Brigid

  “Other animals that irritated my father were my mother’s baby pigs. […] Years later he told me that when my mother went to New York City, probably to see a lover, he became so fed up with her pigs that he put them in her closet. They had diarrhea. When my mother returned, opened her closet, and saw her ruined clothes, she said nothing.” I enjoyed this passage of the book very much. Unfortunately, once the book reaches its pigs-locked-into-a-closet-with-diarrhea hilarity apex, there is not much else as amusing to be enjoyed. Hayden Herrera’s memoir covers her tumultuous childhood with her sister Briar and her two selfish parents: “What our parents desired was not always in the best interests of their children. If they fell in love and had to pursue a new lover, they did not hesitate to stash their children with some friend, relative, or boarding school. Children were secondary to the leading of a passionate life.” Besides being passed between their parents like hot potatoes, Hayden and Briar’s mother Elizabeth keeps her children at a chilly distance the entire book: “Blair and I had not spent much time with our mother since the fall of 1948 when, after putting us on a train to go to boarding school in Vermont, she drove to Mexico to get a divorce. Then I was almost eight. Now I was almost ten.” More than once, the author remarks how her mother never seemed worried at all about her and her sister. This is most apparent after an incident at the playground with a potential kidnapper: “When we got home and told our mother that we were almost kidnapped, she was unimpressed. Her unconcern made me feel silly. Maybe we just invented that he was a kidnapper. But I could tell from Blair’s solemn face that we had been in danger and that our mother either refused to believe it or she didn’t care.” It is hard not to feel concern at every turn for Hayden and Blair—they are both molested by a stepfather (Trigger warning: the description of the abuse is explicit), and Hayden blames the sudden deaths of two of her dogs on different stepparents’ actions as well. Elizabeth also has a series of violent boyfriends and husbands that Hayden and Blair must contend with. After forcing Hayden to pack a bag and sneak out of the house for a week (“My mother explained that she was leaving Carlos and that I was to stay at the Renoufs’ until she could figure out what to do next.”), Elizabeth picks up Hayden with violent Carlos sitting in the driver’s seat: “As we headed north along Insurgentes Avenue, no one spoke. Finally, Carlos turned his head and fixed his obsidian eyes on me. ‘I hear you are afraid of me,’ he said in a mocking voice.” This is what makes the ending of this book so maddening and heartbreaking! In the middle of a contentious custody battle,
  Elizabeth wears Blair down despite Blair adamantly wanting to live with her father at age twelve: “The court case in Barnstable was dropped. I would not have to go there and tell the judge that I wanted to live with my father. It was not that I was choosing my mother. I was choosing not to choose.” I enjoyed reading most of this book despite being extremely disappointed with the ending. If you enjoy reading about self-centered negligent parents (who doesn’t, sometimes!), The Chocolate Money by Ashley Prentice Norton is a novel I was reminded of several times when reading the memoir Upper Bohemia.
• 
  Suzanne

  "Upper bohemia" is described as a group of artists, thinkers, and writers who aren't living by the rules but forging a life dedicated to art, pleasure and authenticity in the 40s and 50s - precursors to the beats and then hippies. Hayden Herrera and her sister Blair were born to parents in the thick of it. Their father hand built houses on Cape Cod that they lived in and used for ever changing guests. Their parents divorced while the girls were young after which they bounced continuously from Cape Cod to New York to Mexico, changing schools and stepparents every year or so. They were lucky to have each other as a constant in their lives. Hayden grew up longing to be a priority of her parents, but also feeling that she didn't quite measure up to their beauty, believing she was fat (in contrast to her mother's slim, frequently naked, glamour). In the photos, Hayden does not appear particularly fat, but this was clearly a discouraging part of her identity that all of the adults in her world reinforced. She loved Cape Cod and the ponds they swam in as the only place that ever fully felt like home.
  
  I loved Hayden's matter of fact voice with attention to detail, like this description of a favorite dress: "One of my hand-me-down dresses was embroidered all around the skirt with swings upon which sat small brown bears made of fake fur. The bears swung when I walked. This was the dress I wore to birthday parties."
  
  At one point, Hayden's mother finds a family to move into their house and take care of the girls. "After my mother drove away, promising to be back next summer, I lay on my back under a huge pine tree below the front steps of the Big House. the pine-needle-covered earth was like a mattress. I wanted my mind to be just as soft, but the inside of my skull felt chunky and hard, full of sharp corners. I did that crunch down thing on my heart, instead of missing my mother."
  
  Hayden knows her parents failed her, but loved them anyway and ultimately forgave them. This was a fascinating coming of age story that speaks from the inside of what looks like a kind of extraordinary life.
• 
  Christine

  This was a compelling memoir. The author's account of being raised in a nomadic fashion by her upper bohemian parents held my attention. Her upbringing brings the reader to several parts of the world which include Cape Cod, NYC, Boston, Mexico, Vermont, Lake Placid and France. I felt the author of this book to be very brave. She didn't have a choice in having such a chaotic childhood; constantly being uprooted by one of her free-spirited, artistic, intellectual parents. However, there were many times she chose to look at life as an adventure. Even when she was abandoned by her mother and dropped off with complete strangers, she tried very hard to adapt and then thrive in each situation. I believe her relationship with her older sister, Blair is part of what saved her. For the most part, they experienced life and growing up together. Nature also brought her peace, particularly at Horseleech Pond. As a reader, I was fascinated by the fact that although the author was born in 1941 and I was born 20+ years later, we played many of the same games, had some of the same toys and experienced nature in a similar way. Herrera writes in a factual way about her experiences. She does not play the victim and she does not cast her parents as villains. Parts of her life were exciting and adventurous. However, the sense of abandonment she experienced well into adulthood seems to outweigh that. Thank you to NetGalley, Simon & Schuster and the author for the free copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. #upperbohemia #netgalley #simonandschuster #haydenherrera #booksandmrdarcy #withhernosestuckinabook❤️📚
• 
  Andrea

  Enjoying this memoir so far as it describes a seemingly idyllic childhood of an "upper bohemian" lifestyle that "spurned ostentation and did their best never to look as though they had money. If they worked, it wasn't to get rich. They worked to create something-a painting, a book, a concerto, a modern house". I also appreciated the author's description that her "parents and their friends shared a reverence for nature that was...a kind of religion...A walk in the woods, looking down at the ocean from the top of a dune, lying naked in the sun, or gazing at the night sky-that was their form of workship. They wanted to live as closely as possible to trees, ponds, fields, and the ocean". Later, the author specifies, "even though they wanted a simple life, my father and mother valued sophistication", and due to their numerous affairs, the children spent many hours alone where they learned to entertain themselves by staring "at the opening and closing of spaces between blades of waving grass while thinking up something to do. The child's terror of boredom could be dealt with: we had resources. We invented games, we daydreamed, we used our imaginations. Also, we had books, siblings, ponds, the ocean and hideouts in the woods".
• 
  loeilecoute

  A wonderful, readable history of a fascinating childhood, with a beautiful, narcissistic mother and a self-preoccupied father, both of whom married five times! Although the history could feel heart rending, the author, as a child and adolescent managed to make the best of it, through the turmoil of frequent moves from the East coast of the US, to Europe and Mexico, much less her parents' kaleidoscope of changing marital partners, with their personalities, tempers, and various financial struggles (and, occasionally, lack thereof.) Despite the difficult childhood, she was able to attain a "normal" adulthood, while providing stability for her children that she had never had. A fascinating page turner with a nice ending!
• 
  Jerry Smith

  3ish
  
  I have to say a lot of this book is utterly fascinating. We're pretty far removed from the 1940s where most of this book is set and generally have an idea of how people were. This is far from that. I know the beats (came later) lived differently but these bohemian folks were amazing. I'm actually jealous of some of their antics.
  
  While interesting as I mentioned above the book is just various memories, fascinating as they are, of about 7-8 years of her childhood. I did like the very last couple of pages where she tied it together.
  Should you read it? Sure, just for the look at a subset of people that lived in a way you had no idea.