Unpunishable: Ending Our Love Affair with Punishment by Danny Silk

Unpunishable: Ending Our Love Affair with Punishment Reviews

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  Trisha Sales

  I just finished this awesome book. 😭 I have no words because I'm still bawling in a corner.
• 
  Blair Johnston

  So so good.
  I wish believers would read this. We’d probably all treat one another a little better.
  I wish non-believers would read this. It gives a more clear understanding of the real Christ & the ways humans have twisted things.
  I’ve talked about this book in countless conversations over the last month.
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  Jessica Wright

  So much about grace has moved from head to heart for me in the last few years, and this book is right on track with that. Highly recommend for anyone who puts themselves in court constantly as defendant, judge, and jury and struggles to hear the Father's voice amidst all the self-condemning noise.
• 
  Chuck

  "Unpunishable" was unpalatable to me. My biggest concern was the way in which the author seemed to practice eisegesis, imposing his own ideas onto biblical texts instead of exegesis. For example, he made the following statement on page 66: “The full arc of the story of the Bible shows us that God’s entire mission in human history is to set us free from the punishment paradigm and lead us into a completely new, punishment-free relational paradigm with Him, ourselves, and others.” I thought the full story arc of the Bible was the promise of the gospel and its fulfillment in Christ.
  
  This promise begins with Genesis 3:15, known as the proto-evangelium—the first Gospel: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and her offspring; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel.” I have a hard time connecting the message of the gospel with Danny Silk’s declaration of what he says is the full arc of the story of the Bible.
  
  An example of his eisegesis is where he discusses the consequence of the Fall, where Adam and Eve realize their nakedness in Genesis in the section “Naked and Afraid,” beginning on page 47. He appears to conflate the term “naked” ʿ(ārôm,) in Genesis 2:25 with “crafty” (ʿā∙rûm) in the next verse, 3:1. The Hebrew term for naked has a symbolic sense of exposure and vulnerability and is a different word than ʿā∙rûm, crafty. Frequently in Scripture ārôm has a symbolic sense of exposure and vulnerability, as when Isaiah walked “naked” to signify Egyptian prisoners being led away by the Assyrians (Isaiah 20:2-4). Nakedness is associated with shame in Hebrew thought, as with the discovery of a drunken Noah by Ham (Genesis 9:22-23). So, Genesis 2:25 is making the point that Adam and Eve were naked and vulnerable, but they were not ashamed of it.
  
  There is a similar term, êrōm, which is used ten times in the OT to designate spiritual and physical nakedness. In Genesis 3, it refers to Adam and Eve after their sin (Genesis 3:7, 10, 11). More than just an awareness of their physical nakedness, Adam and Eve are also aware of their guilt before God—they had lost their innocence.
  
  The word for naked (ʿārôm) in Genesis 2:25 also appears to be a subtle play on the word translated “crafty” in the following verse, Genesis 3:1: “Now the serpent was more crafty (ʿā∙rûm) than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.” So, Genesis 2:25 contrasts the naked innocence and vulnerability of Adam and Eve to the craftiness of the serpent in Genesis 3:1. As a result of the serpent’s craftiness, Adam and Eve sinned. Ironically, their first bit of newfound wisdom was to realize that they were naked (ʿêrōm) before God (3:7, 10, 11). See “Nakedness in Genesis” on faith-seeking-understanding.org.
  
  There are additional examples of what I see as Silk’s eisegesis with other passages as he seeks to contrast his sense of the punishment paradigm with a new, punishment-free relational paradigm, but these two examples illustrate my concern. I think "Unpunishable" mishandles Scripture in its attempt to present readers with an alternative to the so-called punishment paradigm.
• 
  Daunavan Buyer

  This book is solid. It’s filled with great biblical teaching around the false ideas we have about punishment. It’s not an easy read and it seeks to deconstruct some views that may be pretty tightly held onto... so don’t expect it to just reinforce some bad theology :)
  The stories that Danny tells are raw, honest, and relatable. If you work with people as your vocation, if you’re a parent, or if you just want to learn more about the difference between punishment and discipline... this book is for you.
• 
  J.D. King

  Phenomenal Book, with Remarkable Insights and Application
  
  I have enjoyed Danny’s books. Culture of Honor and Keep Your Love On were deeply impacting. However, this book is the best of the three. It combines biblical analysis, with practical insights, and wonderful illustrations. It is one of the best works that I have ever read.
• 
  Steve Irby

  Quarantine-Book #52:
  
  I just finished "Unpunishable: Ending Our Love Affair With Punishment," by Danny Silk.
  
  I bought this because of the great interview with Danny Silk on "Rethinking God with Tacos" (awesome podcast) with Thomas Floyd and Jason L Clark.
  
  Since childhood the one thing we avoid is punishment. We could be strong-willed or compliant but we are motivated by punishment. But when it is to be dished out to others we live it; it feels so right.
  
  God would have us repent, be reconciled and restored regardless of our starting standing in the Jesus-community. This is the difference between punishment and discipline: there is no need for repentance in punishment, but no one is made whole without it.
  
  If you are a pastor/leader read this to come back to the best way of Unpunishment.
  
  #Unpunishable #DannySilk
• 
  Rachel

  I found it admirable that Danny Silk worked within social services before his involvement with the church. I do feel that this has given him a healthy base of training and boundaries, as well as basic common sense for training and teaching others how to deal with boundaries and roots within oneself and others. I gained a lot of wisdom from this book, as well as a deeper respect for Danny Silk, and his wife.
  
  Thank you for speaking to us who are wounded in our hearts and have an unhealthy relationship with punishment. Thank you for paving the way in a very logical manner how to cling to the cross and allow Jesus to reform our hearts to understand grace, and release ourselves from the punishment paradigm.
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  Hannah Edge

  Danny does an incredible job of keeping connection at the heart of everything- connection with the Father first, yourself, and others. I imagine if I was in a leadership position I would refer to this over and over for reconciling employees. For my personal life, it showed me how biblical boundaries show love in relationships. That forgiveness does not always = same relationship but a new relationship. Punishment has no place in the new covenant or in the way I connect with those I love. Danny so clearly portrays the important of TRUE repentance and restoration- how to appropriately deal with sin and walk in freedom for life. Confession, behavior modification, and apologies are not merely enough. True healing requires deep soul work.
• 
  Karla Perry

  💫 Most excellent book. I’ve wanted to read this for a while. If you want a mind blowing heart changing read - read this book. But be prepared for your paradigm to be upended and refashioned into a Kingdom paradigm of forgiveness and repentance. It’s a weighty read.
  
  Danny Silk’s books are a must read. Unpunishable is incredible addition to Loving Our Kids On Purpose and Keep Your Love On. This book is challenging and gratifying as a Jesus way of cleaning up big messes through a process of repentance and forgiveness as opposed to the punishment paradigm.
  
  I highly recommend this book along with the other two mentioned herein.
  
  ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
• 
  Evonne

  So good! God is not interested in punishing us for our flaws and faults. He knows those things are beyond our ability to repair. Instead, He is interested in restoring us into the relationships and maturity and dignity that He wants for us, that He sees in us.
  
  This is a fantastic book. Highly recommended for getting a new perspective on our own fears, on how we think of others when they hurt us, on what we do with our own horrible failures to be the person we'd so much like to be.
  
  This is a book to read, then to re-read, and then to read again. Fantastic.
• 
  Yeary Orion Maple

  We have to stop living in the old
  
  Danny Silk does a fantastic job of walking you through multiple accounts of dealing with church leadership in the rocks and how to actually stabilize them again rather that just do what the church has been doing, throwing them to the wolves. The story about Jonathan Weldon was Why I read it but to hear the many details and the way in which Danny handled it was very insightful. Every church leadership needs to read this.
• 
  Lydia

  One to read and re-read. I am profoundly affected by Silk’s perspective on New Covenant repentance, reconciliation, and restoration versus the culturally-pervasive “punishment paradigm.” Each chapter confronted my deep core beliefs and challenged + changed me. This book is an extension of the Father’s heart for a people who are aware of their identities and walk in freedom from fear towards a life of connection. I will hold onto this book’s truths as I walk in all my relationships.
• 
  Alessandra

  THIS BOOK IS SO IMPORTANT TO READ.
  
  That's pretty much the review.
  
  But seriously, this book is paradigm shifting. It took me awhile to get through because there was so much to digest and process. Danny talks through what it looks like to move from the punishment paradigm into the paradigm of grace. And how to really walk well with people through redemption and restoration. It was beautiful and so freeing to read.
• 
  Casey

  Not a fan. I was looking more for something on self punishment and how to alleviate that. This was more about people in leadership roles and how they should discipline instead of punish. I was not a fan. A lot of self published books I’ve read just don’t do it for me. The editing and focus of the book is scattered and not great. I won’t be reading anymore Danny Silk books.
• 
  Vito LoCascio

  Uncanny wisdom, unlinked any other teaching on restoration. The insight and teaching on discipline versus punishment both excited and challenges me. Worth studying and practicing as parents, leaders and ministers. It wanders a bit which is why I’m giving 4 stars, if I could it would be 4.5 stars.
• 
  Skylar Meegan

  A little bit too much story for my liking, but the moments of application and learning were engaging and encouraging. Silk shared tremendous wisdom in areas of reconciliation and restoration.
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  Becky Webb

  Such an amazing message. I wish I had more details on how to walk it all out, but this message totally hits home. I see it in the church, in our culture and in so many families.
• 
  Ieva

  Such a good book. Danny Silk never disappoints. A must - read for helping people find their way back to the Father's heart.
• 
  Mike

  reat message of God's love and the comfort and freedom it brings
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  Shauna Masonbrink

  Amazing book! It was life changing for me. Highly recommend.
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  Joanna Lampa

  Convicting and liberating. This book came at the perfect time for me, and I am very thankful for this perspective on restoration.
• 
  Gregory

  Almost 2.5 years after starting it, I’ve completed this roadmap to creating a reconciliation, restoration model of placing leaders and people out of fear and back into love.
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  Emily Simons

  Have had a MAJOR paradigm shift for my parenting and life at large with this incredible read.
• 
  Bill Rodriguez

  A great read on dealing with messes at Church and with all relationships.