Bell Hammers: The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt by Lancelot Schaubert


Bell Hammers: The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt
Title : Bell Hammers: The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : -
Language : English
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 337
Publication : First published October 12, 2020

"Schaubert recounts a mischievous man's eight decades in Illinois's Little Egypt region in his picaresque debut BELL HAMMERS. Remmy's life of constant schemes and a lifelong feud with the local oil drilling company proves consequential. This is a hoot."
- Publisher's Weekly

PRANKS. OIL. PROTEST. JOKES BETWEEN NEWLYWEDS.

AND ONE HILARIOUS SIEGE OF A MAJOR CORPORATION.

Remmy grows up with Beth in Bellhammer, Illinois as oil and coal companies rob the land of everything that made it paradise. Under his Grandad, he learns how to properly prank his neighbors, friends, and foes. Beth tries to fix Remmy by taking him to church. Under his Daddy, Remmy starts the Bell Hammer Construction Company, which depends on contracts from Texarco Oil. And Beth argues with him about how to build a better business. Together, Remmy and Beth start to build a great neighborhood of "merry men" carpenters: a paradise of s’mores, porch furniture, newborn babies, and summer trips to Branson where their boys pop the tops off of the neighborhood’s two hundred soda bottles. Their witty banter builds a kind of castle among a growing nostalgia.

Then one of Jim Johnstone’s faulty Texarco oil derricks falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood's well.

Poisoned wells escalate to torched dog houses. Torched dog houses escalate to stolen carpentry tools and cancelled contracts. Cancelled contracts escalate to eminent domain. Sick of the attacks from Texaco Oil on his neighborhood, Remmy assembles his merry men:

"We need the world's greatest prank. One grand glorious jest that'll bloody the nose of that tyrant. Besides, pranks and jokes don't got no consequences, right?"


Bell Hammers: The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt Reviews


  • Dez the Bookworm

    This book was suuuuper fun!

    I chose to listen to this book to entertain myself when I couldn’t actually read…and that, my friends, it did.

    I won’t waste time telling you what the book is about as the synopsis here on GR drums that all up nicely.

    As we follow Remmy from childhood to adulthood, we get a nice clean picture of what life was like for him because the descriptions are so colorful. At times, I could clearly see how Remmy was moving though his day, what he was wearing, even how he looked when he was faced with a situation. The story itself was interesting and kept me engaged, wondering where all of this was going. I really enjoyed following Remmy as he grew up, he’s quite the scoundrel!

    The humor, oh my word, the humor! I found myself smiling a ton and chuckling often. It’s mostly clean humor with some course language (a little too much for my liking but if curse words don’t bother you, this’ll be just fine) and totally relatable. I thought the narrator did a decent job changing his voice and really getting into the story. There were a few times he seemed a little too hasty and I wished he would have slowed down a titch but it was still good narration overall.

    ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

  • Heather Adores Books

    3⭐
    Publication date ~ book ~ October 12, 2020, audio ~ March 9, 2023
    Page Count ~ 336
    Audio length ~ 7 hours 29 minutes
    Narrator ~ Lancelot Schaubert (more on that below)
    POV ~ 3rd person
    Featuring ~ historical fiction, short chapters

    This is another instance where I probably would not have picked this book up on my own, but I'm not mad I read/listened to it. I wasn't blown away, but I had a fine time with it.

    (Wilson Remus) Remmy's story spans from 1941 - 2012. Each chapter is a new year of his life told in chronological order, which made it easy to follow along with. It was entertaining with some humorous moments and quite a bit of pranking going on. There's a little true crime and religion sprinkled in too. It's always interesting to read about how living was back in the day.

    Narration ~ I really like when the author narrates their own work. I feel like it give the story a little extra pizzazz. Since they've written it they know when to show proper emotion and really get the reader engaged. It felt like he had a real connection to the story. I liked the extra audio effects and he even sang us a tune or two.

    *Thanks
    Lancelot Schaubert for asking me to read your book and to NetGalley for the audio copy. I am voluntarily leaving my honest review*

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  • Dez the Bookworm

    This book was suuuuper fun!

    I chose to listen to this book to entertain myself when I couldn’t actually read…and that, my friends, it did.

    As we follow Remmy from childhood to adulthood, we get a nice clean picture of what life was like for him because the descriptions are so colorful. At times, I could clearly see how Remmy was moving though his day, what he was wearing, even how he looked when he was faced with a situation. The story itself was interesting and kept me engaged, wondering where all of this was going. I really enjoyed following Remmy as he grew up, he’s quite the scoundrel!

    The humor, oh my word, the humor! I found myself smiling a ton and chuckling often. It’s mostly clean humor with some course language (a little too much for my liking but if curse words don’t bother you, this’ll be just fine) and totally relatable. I thought the narrator did a decent job changing his voice and really getting into the story. There were a few times he seemed a little too hasty and I wished he would have slowed down a titch but it was still good narration overall.

    ARC was provided by the publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

  • Melki

    Schaubert's book features a series of swell little vignettes that tell of a life well-lived. Read it, and you will learn why you should never put a combination lock on a privy.

    And, I liked this tale so much, I've decided to share it:

    For his senior prank, he led three hogs up onto the third floor of the high school . . . and he'd painted a single number on each of those three hogs in bright blue paint: #1, #2, and #4. Took eight hours for them to get out the three little pigs and clean up the shit. Then all of the teachers stayed up till midnight trying to find hog #3.

    Dang! Wish I'd thought of that one!

  • Ankit Garg

    “Bell Hammers” by Lancelot Schaubert is a fun and humorous story delivering a powerful message. The book can be summarized as a collection of several stories. The characters are loving and realistic. The writing style is excellent, reminiscent of Mark Twain.

    Thanks to the author and the publisher for the ARC.

    Verdict: Recommended.

    Read full review
    here.

  • Terry

    Humorous, folksy and charming. Reminiscent of Mark Twain's style of storytelling. As comfortable as a pair of slippers and an easy chair, this read is well worth the time spent.

    A review copy was provided by Net Galley and the publishers. This is an honest, unbiased, uncompensated review.

  • Lancelot Schaubert

    TODAY March 14th, the
    audiobook of BELL HAMMERS comes out. I read it myself, Neil Gaiman style. If you had trouble with the dialect of the prose, THIS is the way to experience the novel: in the original brogue. It'll be available on every platform, so preorder now.

  • Louise Wilson

    This book is sometimes humorous but poignant. We learn of Remmy's childhood straight through to his death. All his life he wanted to build Camelot. He dreamed of having a great time with his merry men. Some chapters were a little dragged out. Family play a big part in this story. 5his is a series of stories told from Remmy's perspective. He learned to be a prankster from his grandad so he pranks people. He hates the mineral and soil companies as they messed up the land that he loved. This is a enjoyable read.

    I would like to thank NetGalley, the publisher and the author Lancelot Schaubert for my ARC in exchange for an honest review

  • Laura Rogers

    "I'm about to bullshit you, but all of it is true."

    I read the book and listened to the audio book and both are great but I can't recommend the audio book, narrated by the author, highly enough. Bell Hammers is Americana at its very best! It is honest and funny, with characters so vivid I would recognize them on the street. For me. it is reminiscent of the best of Mark Twain and Garrison Keillor. I have no doubt that Bell Hammers will be a top read of the year for me.

    We follow rapscallion extraordinaire, Wilson Remus (Remmy) from age seven in 1941 to his death in 2012. It is a story not unlike David and Goliath, performed as a comedy. Remy is a blue collar hero fighting against the evils of a big oil company (mostly in the form of his archnemesis, Jim Johnstone) in his small town of Little Egypt in southern Illinois. It is a story of family, neighbors, and a community that sticks together in good times and in bad. Remy has a heart as big as they come and likens himself to something of a cross between Robin Hood and King Arthur. He is a Prankster, with a capital P, but as he ages the consequences of his pranks become more serious and far reaching. Can the town of Little Egypt survive and can they find a way to heal the sins of the past?

    I received the audio book from the publisher via NetGalley. I also purchased the print version for my library.

  • Sarah Jackson

    "Bell Hammers" traces the life of "Remmy", Wilson Remus Broganer from his childhood to end of life, through a series of anecdotes, tall tales, and dubious recollections. Remmy is a wonderful character, set on creating a happy life for himself and the other less fortunate folk. The story is set in a region in Illinois known as Little Egypt, and describes a land of hard working farmers and oil company entrepreneurs.The style of writing is reminiscent of Mark Twain, in that the author liberally uses colloquial expression and clipped sentences."Bell Hammers" is engaging, entertaining, and darn good distraction from all of the horrific COVID-19 news and statistics. Worth a look.

    I received a copy of this book through The LibraryThing Early Reviewers group in exchange for a fair and honest review.

  • Honey Roselea Reads

    Thank you to BookSirens for providing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review and for Lancelot Schaubert for getting in touch with me.

    Bell Hammers is something that I usually don't read as I'm not one to dabble into such humor as this but as I began to read this, I realize that it was not just the humor that was disagreeing with me it was pretty much the whole story. Yes this is the story about William Remus, but truthfully, what story was there? Each chapter was a literal year in his life but I was bored. From the start of the story I really wasn't hooked. The plot usually brings me in but Bell Hammers really didn't do this for me.

    I rated Bell Hammers one star precisely for the way I was feeling. I desperately wanted to stick with this book and held myself from dnf-ing this book from an early stage but at some point, I think I realized that this book was not going to continue to get better.

    I discovered, while reading this, that there was absolutely zero chemistry. Not just between characters, but in my opinion, between plot and character. William Remus' story was boring and was written out as uneventful. Yet, his life had a lot of events, but the style and the wording just seemed to deprecate his life.

    These are my own honest opinions but thank you again to BookSirens for this ARC in exchange for an honest review.

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  • Kate O'Shea

    I loved this audiobook. Not at first because I needed to tune my ear into the accents and the stories are a little whacky to say the least.

    But anyway, Bell Hammers tells the story of Wilson Remus (Remy) who has led a somewhat unconventional life. Remember is an entrepreneur from an early age but with one goal in mind - to get together his band of Merry Men, build Camelot, live mainly in peace and pull pranks on those who he feels deserve it.

    As he goes through his life the pranks become wilder but through it all he's still looking to find the perfect home for his family and friends.

    It sounds innocuous enough but the storytelling is wonderful and the narration is superb. Remy is a character you won't forget in a hurry and I'd happily read more of Lancelot Schaubert's work on the back of this novel.

    A fun but aspirational piece of work.

  • Christina

    Thanks to Netgalley for the advanced audio book in exchange for my honest review.

    In this novel we follow the life of Wilson Remus (Remmy) from 6 to 80 years old. Written as a retelling of mischievous, hilarious, and fantastic stories told to his grandson (the author).

    I have always enjoyed hearing stories about the "good ol' days" from the elders in my life and thus thoroughly enjoyed the author sharing his grandfather's gems. It was narrated well and written with a genuine voice that had me laughing out loud on multiple occasions.

  • Moonkiszt

    Bell Hammers is a book about a man from a family living in Little Egypt, Illinois.

    The story is documented by a bemused grandson who does a great job of capturing the local speech, logic and philosophies of the large family which surrounds his grandfather, Remmy. Family traditions include pranking – this got my attention because the men in one side of my family were pranksters and teasers, and it all went south as they married, so it was a family battle I was willing to compare as I opened the first pages of this book. Conflict between big industry and the little guy conjured in my head the spirit of Erin Brockovich, to no avail. But don't worry. They get theirs.

    What I loved best were the moments that made me laugh out loud, and there were many! Most have to do with the thought process (as perceived by grandson narrator) of Remmy or the many other friends and family characters. My favorite, though? The dialogue between Remmy and the Good Lord. That’s what rang the truest of all to me – because I have that same dialogue every day, too. It kept me reading, right through to the very end. And I mean the very end. . . discussing all the tenses of the English tongue as spoken in Little Egypt.

    This is a long and rambling tale. Many side stops to get you set up for future action. So many times that I was tempted to take notes, but am morally and ethically opposed to that (if you have to take notes, this is work or school and my reading habit is firmly parked in my leisure hobby column). I must admit to confusion, and occasionally having lost grasp on the coattails of the narrative from time to time and a need to slide back in order to catch up. And once, didn’t even sync up with it, and just moved on . . .still made it through with reader integrity intact (I believe). There are a few dark moments, but what family doesn’t have a few of those?

    At the end of the book there are whys and wherefores as it relates to choices made in the writing that were helpful to me in understanding the tale’s telling.

    A sincere thank you to Lancelot Schaubert, IBPA, and NetGalley for an ARC to read and review.

  • Laura Rogers

    "I'm about to bullshit you, but all of it is true"

    I read both the book and the ebook and both are great but I can't recommend the audio book, narrated by the author, highly enough.

    Bell Hammers is Americana at its very best! It is honest and funny, with characters so vivid I would recognize them on the street. For me. it is reminiscent of the best of Mark Twain and Garrison Keillor. I have no doubt that Bell Hammers will be a top read of the year for me.

    We follow rapscallion extraordinaire, Wilson Remus (Remmy) from age seven in 1941 to his death in 2012. It is a story not unlike David and Goliath. Remy is a blue collar hero fighting against the evils of a big oil company (mostly in the form of his archnemesis, Jim Johnstone) in his small town of Little Egypt in southern Illinois. It is a story of family, neighbors, and a community that sticks together in good times and in bad. Remy has a heart as big as they come and likens himself to something of a cross between Robin Hood and King Arthur. He is a Prankster, with a capital P, but as he ages the consequences of his pranks become more serious and far reaching. Can the town of Little Egypt survive and can they find a way to heal the sins of the past?

    I received the audio book from the publisher via NetGalley. I also purchased the print version for my library.

  • Anneliese Grassi

    Unfortunately, I had a really hard time with this book. I was intrigued by the subject and it seemed interesting (think Robin Hood and pranks), however, the book just never went anywhere for me. The first couple of pages were funny and it pulled me in, but then it just kind of dragged on as I was waiting for something more and found myself struggling to get through it. To me, it seemed like a bunch of stuff just thrown together to make a book, which in a sense I guess it was since the book was created with stories from the author’s family and growing up in that area, but that just made it all over the place for me. I did find the last 75 pages the most entertaining and where most of the excitement was. I didn’t hate the book (once I got to the end) but it was very difficult for me to get through. Not an easy read in my opinion.

    The writing style was not an issue for me, I found it endearing, and I did not mind the “Good Lord” references throughout the book, I found that refreshing. Overall, I didn’t quite enjoy it as much as I thought I would and was a little disappointed. Not my typical read but I’m sure others will enjoy it!

  • Linda

    This story is told from a boy named Remmy and the life he lead in Southern Illinois. It’s told in a whimsical way, that you feel like your there with him. It’s a different genre for me but I really liked it.

  • Kelly

    Bell Hammers: The True Folk Tale of Little Egypt
    by Lancelot Schaubert

    About the Book:

    Remmy and Beth grow up in Bellhammer, Illinois during the time that oil and coal companies rob the land, stripping if of everything that made it paradise.

    Remmy’s Grandad teaches him how to pull outrageous pranks on his neighbors, friends, and foes. Under his Daddy’s guidance he starts a construction company, which depends on contracts from the Texarco Oil Company.

    Remmy has a fascination with “Robin Hood”, castles, and a round table. He builds his on band of “merry men” carpenters.

    Then a faulty Texarco Oil derrick falls down on their house and poisons their neighborhood’s well.
    When Texarco refuses to take responsibility for the poisoned well, Remmy hatches a plan that results in one prank after another, until he and his merry men pull the “world’s greatest prank”.

    My Review:

    Remmy is an endearing character, whom I cared about and rooted for from the very beginning of the story. His quirky personality was often humorous.

    Lancelot Schaubert’s writing took the reader into the past and spanned the life of Remmy in Bellhammer, Illinois from 1941 through 2012. His writing brought clear feelings of nostalgia to the reader. Remmy and Beth took the reader back to simpler times that showed no times were without their troubles. The author did an excellent job capturing the dialogue of the time and area as well.

    Remmy also often spoke to the “Good Lord” in ways that sometimes seemed to mock God. He also heard the “Good Lord” speak to him, and he didn’t always listen to or properly interpret what the “Good Lord” told him to do, just like any flawed, sinful human being. Remmy learned many lessons throughout the book and his life.

    Lancelot Schaubert did an excellent job portraying a neighborhood’s struggle with big companies in another place and time. He made it relatable and entertaining. His sharing of true events, and maybe some familial myths, stir feelings of nostalgia, comradery, sympathy, and empathy, even as they occasionally make the reader laugh out loud.

    This story does include profanity and crude humor as well. However, if you are a history buff or a person who enjoys cheering for the underdog, I recommend you read Bell Hammers.

    I give this story 4 stars.

  • Chad A.

    It is a little ironic calling southern Illinois "Little Egypt." Egypt is exotic, mysterious, and mystical. Southern Illinois is none of those things, at least to those uninterested in careful reflection. Lancelot Shaubert is not one of those people. Bell Hammers is Shaubert's compelling, imaginative, and even magical tale centered on the type of place and the type of people often overlooked in the collective imagination. These are Shaubert's people. Their story is his story, and he tells it with warmth, honesty, and a great deal of hope. The best thing that I can say about Bell Hammers is that it made me nostalgic for my own place and my own people. In some circles, it is common to talk about a place in terms of what comes out of the ground. Corn, soybeans, lead, coal - you know a place by what it produces. Southern Illinois might be known to the outside world in the same way, but Shaubert stubbornly refuses to let us know Little Egypt only in terms of its raw materials. What also comes from the ground of any place are the people that it produces. Their lives and dreams. Their brokenness and anguish. A good question to ask of any place is "what kind of people are grown here?" And that had me thinking of my own Little Egypt. It had me wishing that someone would right about the folk tales that shape who I am. What you realize in reading a book like this is that forgotten and bypassed places actually are exotic, mysterious, and mystical in their own ways. If you just have the eyes to see.

  • Kendra

    Bell Hammers is a wonderfully fun and delivers a powerful message as well. A child's dream and how it shapes the way he views and interacts with his world. The people you meet along the way bring depth and perspective on the times while drawing you into their world. An enjoyable and worthy read.

    Thank you to the author for providing a review copy. This is an honest and uncompensated review.

  • Kymberly

    Reading Bell Hammers felt as if I were on the sidelines of a family gathering where they were reminiscing about the past; the good, the bad and the ugly. The story is multi-generational. The characters were real with a touch of exaggeration. Like any good story told through the years, parts are forgotten and left out, other parts are exaggerated to provide more laughter. It's not lying it's story-telling. This was a very enjoyable read.

  • Kristy Hurst

    Oh what a life!

    I was drawn to this book because I was born in Illinois and lived my first six years in the country between Louisville & Clay City. Still have lots of family there. The stories and language are all relatable. It is wonderfully written and entertaining. I laughed often.

    I was blessed to win my kindle copy in a giveaway on Goodreads. #giveaways

  • Bonnye Reed

    I received a free electronic ARC of this historical novel from Netgalley, Lancelot Schaubert, and IBPA. Thank you all for sharing your hard work with me. I have read this novel of my own volition, and this review reflects my honest opinion of this work. In a style all of his own, Schaubert brings us the poignant history of a town, a family, that is crystal clear in minute vignettes of time and place through the eyes of youngster Wilson Remus Broganer.

    Remmy is 6 years old when his story begins in Bell Hammers. Bell Hammer is a very small place, the oil fields of Texarco just about the only employer around and the employees are badly treated and often robbed of time or money or both. We have a chapter for each year, as seen through the eyes of this youngster who is sharp and funny and wise beyond his years.

    As a Southwesterner, Illinois has always rested in my mind cleanly in the north and the east, but this story is true southern from the git-go. It is a wild ride between angst and laughter, and these protagonists are quickly included among your friends and family. You will want to read this book. This time, this place is picture-perfect and heartfelt. Schaubert is an author to follow.

    pub date Oct 12, 2020
    Independent Book Publishers Association
    CHANGE TO DIGITAL
    Reviewed on Goodreads and Netgalley on March 14, 2020.

  • Kaye

    Seeing the reactions of other reviewers, I'm clearly in the minority of Bell Hammers' readers. Net Galley sent me an advance readers copy some time ago, and I picked it up every few weeks to read a chapter or two. I could never engage.

    Partly it was the use and misuse of the southern Illinois dialect. Although the author, Lancelot Schaubert, discusses its use at some length (and in quite academic terms) in an afterword, it seemed folksy and contrived and affected, perhaps because it was used too broadly.

    By the time I finally reached the end of the book, where Schaubert devotes quite a few pages to a defense of his methods and to a recap between Remmy and God, I was done in more ways than one.

    I think the book was meant to be playful. Maybe my failure to join the mood was colored by the fact that the author kept e-mailing me! He had obtained my email address from NetGalley, and repeatedly cajoled me (and I'm sure other recipients of ARCs) with reminders and solicitations to READ HIS BOOK. Bad form!

    Addendum, 2 weeks after posting: Still getting almost-daily emails from this author (many days TWO emails)! I long ago blocked him, but he still shows up in my spam filter. Taking off another point out of sheer annoyance.

  • J

    Reading Bell Hammers is like sitting in your grandma and grandpa's kitchen listening to them and their siblings tell old stories. Which makes perfect sense since this is the story of Remmy's life as told by his grandson.

    Remmy is a rascal who loves pranks, a skill he learned from his grandpa. He also has a dream to live surrounded by his friends and family in the Little Egypt region of Illinois. Each chapter gives us a small slice of his life. Most of the stories are humorous and entertaining. But the author also included some heartbreaking and serious moments as well. My favorite part of the novel was Remmy's conversations with God. This relationship made Remmy a more well-rounded character.

    I am sure this was the author's intent, but some parts of the story were left vague and this frustrated me. I cared so much that I wanted to know exactly what happened. This was especially true in the last few chapters of the book.

    Remmy was a fun-loving man who suffered his own heartbreak and at times caused heartbreak to others. He was a larger than life man seen through the lens of a loving grandson. I am so glad the author shared him with the world.

    I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.

  • Priya

    Bell hammers is a humour filled entertaining read set in Southern Illinois, and focuses on the life of Remmy from his adolescence to the end of his life tracing every stage of his life from childhood, adulthood, married life, and ends with his death.

    This book is a collection of series of anecdotes, tall tales. Remmy from his childhood enjoyed playing pranks on people where few were fun-filled while some are unpleasant. It shows his creative ways of money-making and how he started the house building company and his hatred towards the oil companies which affected the land he loved the most.

    The story unfolds how Remmy's large scale prank on oil companies affected everyone in the community in a negative way and had serious repercussions. The story is filled with humour and a few heartfelt scenes.

    The narration of the story is very good and the pace is decent. The language is lucid and simple enough. I enjoyed reading this book a lot and I recommend it to everyone.

    Thanks author Lancelot Schaubert and booksirens for the ARC