Alcoholic Betty by Elisabeth Horan

Alcoholic Betty Reviews

• 
  Paul

  Death: ‘THERE ARE BETTER THINGS IN THE WORLD THAN ALCOHOL, ALBERT.’
  Albert: ‘Oh, yes, sir. But alcohol sort of compensates for not getting them.’
  Terry Pratchett
  
  I have always liked this quote from Pratchett, not only is it amusing, but it contains so much truth in it. I like a drink, a few pints down the pub with some friends every now and again, a couple of glasses of wine over dinner or a contemplative whiskey while reading a book late on a Friday night. However, alcohol has earned its moniker, demon for a number of reasons. It is very easy to go from a modest drinker to a heavy drinker to an alcoholic without yourself or anyone noticing your dependence on the bottle. Owning up to this to your self and others takes an immense amount of courage.
  
  
  
  That time when
  I was so bad
  
  When I said
  Hahahaha, I’m fine
  
  Of course I’m not fine though —
  drinking too much
  
  Horan has that courage to face up to the things that she has been doing and part of facing that has been to write her thoughts down on the page. She pours out her feelings and actions in these verses at her very lowest points. This raw and emotive prose makes this a very tough read at times and there are subjects that are about some very dark moments in her life. It is difficult to like poetry like this given how bleak some of the poems are, that said there is immense power in her words that will help someone facing some of the same issues that she has.
  
  Favourite Poems
  The It Girl
  The Light Was Not for Me
• 
  Kristen

  This collection is brutally honest at times, tender, vulnerable, and invites the reader into this very personal space of life, love, and addiction.
  
  I love the directness of the language. There's real grit to the narrative.
• 
  Emma

  Horan’s addiction overflows onto the page full of pain and emotion. She stands before the reader naked, exposed, speaking honestly about her past relationship with alcohol. It’s as raw as you can imagine, showing the reader the darkest and lowest moments of Horan’s addiction.
  
  This is a difficult read, these are honest, brutal poems that break your heart as you watch Horan struggle with her inner demons. It’s relatable, not just to addicts but also those fighting with mental health, depression and self-loathing. There is a lot to learn and absorb through Horan’s poems, it leaves you feeling emotionally drained, yet optimistic about the path in front of you. She reminds the reader that they are not alone, are not horrible and have self worth. Her words are the much needed wake up call and reassures them that things will get better, slowly but there is a chance of a future once you put the bottle down.
  
  Horan’s poetry shows the struggles that come with giving up an addiction. She is paranoid, puts herself down and comments negatively on her weight. But she is a survivor, a fighter and is much stronger than she gives herself credit for. It’s human to feel and express these thoughts. It’s how we decided to act and take charge that reveal our true selves. No one is prefect and we all have bad days, but it’s down to us to change course or follow the white rabbit.
  
  Here I go again, down the rabbit hole,
  Chasing things I cannot touch,
  Wrapping their oily arms around me,
  Jagermeister, weed & American Spirits –
  Vices I gave up years ago.
  God, what I wouldn’t do for a cigarette.
  I was doing so great last night, not even crying –
  Not hating myself
  
  [Extract from My Own Blair Witch Project]
  
  I admired Horan’s bravery and courage to write about her past. It must have been difficult to go back and unearth tainted memories, ones she wishes to forget. However in ways it must have been a therapeutic experience to use her passion as a part of a healing process. To look at what damage you have caused and sort out the best solution to begin on repairing yourself. It’s brave and takes courage to admit your mistakes and make amends.
  
  Today I made it through a whole day. I was so strong…Almost a whole
  dayNever mind, no, not the whole day. I am in the car. I am driving to
  the store. I am buying intoxicants. I did not make today. Not at all. I
  failed again today.
  
  [Extract from I Bumble About Like A Total Dick]
  
  Horan plunges the reader into some dark murky waters where suicidal thoughts have a regular slot. She shows the reader how much this addiction can take over your life, filling your head constantly with its toxin. She has a sharp tongue and laughs off the reality of the situation at times, not caring about the consequences or where they will lead. It’s conflicting as she desperately fights against her urge. It’s a real life representation of the underworld that many of us fall prey to.
  
  I have to feel them burn my throat
  I cannot go to the party without
  I must have a beer
  I must have enough to get through the night
  
  How will I get to the store?
  How will I do it without them knowing
  What I am doing
  I have to – I cannot exist without this intoxicant
  
  [Extract from Why can’t I stop?]
  
  Horan’s poems not only explore her expeditions with alcoholism but she also reflects on why she drinks. She strips back layer after layer, deep to the bone to see what really lies underneath. Her father is often mentioned and his absence in her childhood is apparent. The reader feels the sadness and loneliness that Horan is struggling with. They want her to succeed, can see the torment she is in as they reach out to hold her hand and say “You can do this”. It makes you realise how small and fragile we all are. We are only human and we do bruise easily.
  
  I give Alcoholic Betty By Elisabeth Horan a Four out of Five paw rating.
  
  This took balls to write, huge balls and I applaud you Horan for this heartbreaking insight to your haunting past. It is a brave, powerful and inspiring collection that encourages others that there is always a chance of life once you start taking control again. You’ve got this. You can do it. Well done!
• 
  Steph Warren

  *I received a free copy of this book with thanks to the author and Isabelle Kenyon at Fly on the Wall Press. The decision to review and my opinions are my own.*
  
  
  Elisabeth Horan opens her veins here and bleeds out onto the page, exposing her addiction, pain and self-loathing to the reader as part of her redemptive path of recovery.
  
  These poems are dark, raw and very difficult to read, as Horan holds nothing back at all. She bravely explores her darkest times with us and shows the struggles – internal and external – to claw her way back from the hole of self-destruction she slid into unknowingly.
  
  Some of the imagery here is disturbing, and it should be, as the poems deal with issues like self-harm, suicide, drug and alcohol addiction, mental illness, depression and self-hatred. Horan skewers herself repeatedly with her disgust at her actions and emotions, but in the very act of writing this ‘confession’ she also recognises the battles she fought and won and acknowledges her strength and bravery in coming this far and in owning her past honestly.
  
  The language is very accessible, with simple punctuation, word play, and repetition of recurring themes that loop around, mirroring the cyclic patterns of both addiction and recovery.
  
  Definitely not an easy read, but an important one – not just as part of the author’s own healing process, but for any readers struggling with similar issues and feeling alone and not understood. Elisabeth Horan has been there, pulled herself back, and offers a hand of hope to those on the same journey.
  
  
  Here I go again, down the rabbit hole,
  Chasing things I cannot touch,
  Wrapping their oily arms around me,
  Jagermeister, weed and American Spirits –
  Vices I gave up years ago.
  God, what I wouldn’t do for a cigarette.
  
  – Elisabeth Horan, from ‘My Own Blair Witch’ in Alcoholic Betty
  
  
  Review by Steph Warren of Bookshine and Readbows blog
  
  https://bookshineandreadbows.wordpres...
• 
  Nika

  This was a tough read. It was a tough read but not because it was badly written. No, this book was REAL.
  
  I don't often read poetry but I have never come across a poet like Elisabeth Horan. The poems in this book are so raw and filled with true human emotions.
  
  There is no dancing around the subject. The poet is here to talk about her addiction and there is no stopping her. The poems she writes are truly reflecting how she feels. There is no romanticising of her addiction to alcohol and that in itself is a reason why the book is just so good. There are no metaphors, no sophisticated, hard-to-pronounce and what-do-they-even-mean words. Just the poet and her feelings.
  
  Just a warning, some of the poems might not be suitable for those of you that are squeamish. However, some of the poems come with a trigger warning which I think is quite nice since not everyone is comfortable with topics such as self-harm and suicide.
  
  Overall I think the book gives a fresh, straight to the point outlook on alcoholism and is a break from the over-the-top poetry we see every day.
• 
  Dane Cobain

  Disclaimer: I was sent a copy of this for free to review.
  
  I’ve read and enjoyed some of Horan’s stuff before, but this is a longer collection than her previous one and I think it benefitted because of it. She writes about alcoholism with a raw candor that I haven’t seen outside of Charles Bukowski, and if anything I think this collection was stronger than her last one. It’s the best poetry collection I’ve read so far this year, and while it is only the end of February, I still think that says a lot about it. Go read it.
• 
  Hokis

  "The margins of my worn copy of Alcoholic Betty are filled with notes, phrases, memories, and question marks. Horan has a way of conjuring such glaring images that I remain convinced I stood with her in each of her poem-rooms, as if the whispers of our confessional stories could easily be interpreted as the same sinner." - Hokis