| Title | : | The Five Love Languages of Teenagers |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1881273830 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781881273837 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 259 |
| Publication | : | First published March 1, 2000 |
The Five Love Languages of Teenagers Reviews
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I think I finished it. You know what? I KNOW I finished it. It doesn't matter if the statement is true because I refuse to pick it up again.
I can't understand why Gary Chapman would want to write another book about Love Languages (For teens this time) when the people who understood his first one (for spouses) would very likely be able to translate it into love for teens. The only logical explanation appears to be:for the money.
In any case, I don't care for this book. I think the paper it was written on could've been put to better use. I was utterly bored by it, and just to "finish" it was a struggle, because frankly, his style of writing needs editing, and I simply felt like I was being lectured throughout the entire book.
Basically, it's the same thing all over again, but he adds in little things he thinks of just before he decides to begin the next chapter like, "Set rules, but not too many." "Don't treat them like children." "Make the rules specific." "Make the consequences clear BEFORE the act is committed".
Those are about the most memorable three lines in the entire book. And I think it would've fared better if he'd written it like it was an instruction manual, as follows:
1) Determine the primary love language of teenager
2) Love teenager in all the languages
3) Set rule book
4) Treat them like adults
5) Give em sufficient space
6) Continue to love them when they make mistakes
7) Do not assault them
8) Do not spoil them
9) Train them well
10) Teach responsibility
11) Do not attempt behavior modification. May result in robot-like drones that may or may not bear resentment towards you.
Voila! The entire essence of the book could've fit onto 1 page and a lot less trees would've died.
Maybe he caught me on an off mood, but this is just not a book I'd recommend to anyone. Pick up the one for spouses and once one get's it all down pat, it will work for teens too. I'm most definitely not going to be reading the Five Love Languages of Children. -
The only reason I caught up to this series is because our bookgroup chose it. I surmised the gist of the method but had avoided it, perceiving it too "hocus/pocus, touchy/feely" for my likes. I intended to skim and quickly return it to the library. Imagine my surprise upon discovering parenting stategies that could have been so meaningful years and children ago. My loss, and my family's loss. Chapman has a gift for serving it straight up in a way that is neither belittling or naive. I credit him for his experience and ablility to sort complex issues into realistic application. I enjoyed the book's concrete examples and suggestions vs. abstract theories. With children ages 20, 18, 17 and 12 I walked away from this book a better parent, but not as effective as I could have been reading it a decade ago.
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Despre limbajele iubirii e posibil să mai fi auzit în relațiile de cuplu, cred că pentru asta au și fost definite. Aceste limbaje reprezintă modul în care o persoană înțelege că este iubită. Aceste limbaje sunt: cuvintele (declarațiile de iubire, de ex), timpul, cadourile, serviciile și atingerile.
Ideea principală a acestor limbaje e că partenerul/partenera trebuie să-ți „vorbească” în aceste limbaje, altfel n-o să te simți iubit(ă). Degeaba îți aduce cineva cadouri, dacă limbajul tău este timpul. Degeaba te giugiulește cineva toată ziua, dacă limbajul tău e reprezentat de servicii. Degeaba îți face cineva declarații înfocate, dacă tu vrei atingeri. Și așa mai departe.
Aceste limbaje ale iubirii sunt valabile și la adolescenți în aproximativ aceeași formă (și sunt împărțite și în dialecte, uneori). Chapman detaliază pentru fiecare limbaj metoda cea mai bună de a-l ”vorbi” astfel încât adolescentul nostru să se simtă iubit, înțeles și acceptat.
”Cauza răzvrătirii adolescenților nu este impunerea autorității, ci exercitarea arbitrară a puterii, fără prea multe explicații în ceea ce privește regulile și fără niciun fel de implicare a acestora în luarea deciziilor.”
Cartea conține multe sfaturi foarte bune și un test la final, pe care să-l dați adolescentului să-l completeze. Eu așa am aflat că limbajul fiicei mele este reprezentat de cuvinte, nu de timp, așa cum credeam eu. -
The author has been a marriage/family counselor for over 30 years who addresses relationship issues from a Christian worldview. His main premise, that we all need unconditional love and that we all have a certain "love language" as part of our personality by which we most like to give and receive love. The trick is to discover your teen's primary love language and to express it as often as possible. I always wondered why my mother never gave me hugs and kisses, but lost buttons would magically appear re-sewn onto my clothing and the best portions of meat would show up on my plate (Acts of Service). I used to wonder why my father-in-law seems so materialistic, giving us lots of gifts all the time (Giving of Gifts). I used to wonder why my former boyfriend always had to hold my hand *all* the time (Physical Touch). I wonder why I feel closest to my husband after doing something fun on a nice date (Quality Time). You get the picture. The last of the 5 love languages is Words of Affirmation. This idea of the 5 love languages has hit the secular counseling circles and is in our best interest to learn something about it to improve our relationships.
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I liked the book,
The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, so I bought this - I am going to have a teenager soon. And I am extremely disappointed in my purchase. I found this to be vaguely racist and homophobic, and also just poorly written. -
I was concerned that this book would get a little repetitive if it was only about love languages (which is a brilliant and useful concept). However, it was an all around great book about parenting teens. The author talked about changing the way we parent teens, setting boundaries, dealing with anger, listening, maintaining a good relationship, etc. And of course, the love language concept is a very important component of loving your teen well. If you can only read one book about parenting your teenager, I recommend this one!
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This book found me at the library. When I say that, what I mean is that I work at the library and every so often a book will cross my path and speak to me and tell me to read it. This was one of those books.
My kids and I are going through a big change in our lives right now, and one of my priorities is to really connect with them and show them how important they are to me. After reading this book and having my kids all take the online assessment, I really feel like I have a better sense of how to do that.
The book was a very quick read~ a little over 24 hours for me~ and I feel like the information I've gathered is going to help me in a multitude of ways once I put it into action. The result of a little reading and some energy directed in the right way will be solid relationships with four of the people that matter most to me in life. -
**true rating 3.5
The first '5 Love Languages' book I've read: very practical but a bit redundant. Chapman speaks from his own experience and other parents he has counseled--he knows his stuff. However, Chapman strongly appeals to one specific sect of families: suburban, Christian, middle-class, white families. This is understandable. Chapman is not a minority, therefore he has no expertise to speak into the complicated minority parent-teenager struggle. I've personally read this to understand how to love better as a youth pastor--some things were very valuable.
cf.
www.sooholee.wordpress.com -
https://ayearofbooksblog.com/2017/10/...
After finishing the audiobook above, I moved on the the version of love languages specific to teens. At times, it was insightful and made me think of what love language was important to each of my children.
This book may have had some great messages but I did not relate to the religious messaging and did not think the examples were representative of the issues that today’s teens experience. The tone seemed to express homophobic views as he talked about “immorality” and because of this, it will be the last time I read or listen to a book by this author. -
Loved this book. If you have teens, you need this book. I read the first Love Languages and found it extremely helpful. This is basically the same but it goes into more detail of how to navigate the languages for the unique needs of your teen. For example, if your child's language is physical touch, how do you show that appropriately to your teenager. It helps you understand how best to show that love and then when to back off. I am planning on reading it again so the messages can really sink in.
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Initially, I was skeptical. Having read Chapman's primary "5 Love Languages", I thought that this might be an attempt to repackage the same material and sell another book. I was wrong.
In this book, Chapman does indeed re-introduce the concept of the 5 Love Languages, but through the lens of teenagers, the material is quite different. As usual, the author creates a wonderful mix of resonant wisdom, poignant stories to illustrate his points, and gentle encouragement for those parents who have turned to this book for help. Personally, I found a lot of great suggestions on how to better demonstrate love for my teen and I'd be surprised if any/every parent couldn't do the same.
I recommend this book to anyone who's been mystified by the sudden changes in their teen's attitude or demeanor. Yes, some of the issues belong to them, but it's possible that many of them stem from an empty love tank and a sense of neglect. This book is challenging, but very worthwhile. Thanks for taking the time to read my review! -
As someone who very much appreciates Gary Chapman's 5 Love Languages tool, I was looking forward to seeing how he applies it to parenting teenagers. This book is full of some really good advice, and I would certainly recommend it. There are a couple of things that weaken the overall impact of the book, however. First of all, though Chapman is a Christian (an associate pastor), this book is not explicitly Christian. He talks about religious traditions and faith traditions, but the author doesn't ground his ideas and principles firmly in the Triune God of Scripture. Thus his approach is incomplete. Second, he assumes a situation in which kids are in public schools and a culture in which dating, rather than courtship, is the norm. While this is, indeed, the situation for most people who will read this book, the application is limited for homeschoolers. As I said though, overall the book is good, and there's a great deal of material packed in here on which to ruminate.
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Although there are some interesting insights at times, and some techniques that I can see how can be helpful in finding a connection to our teenagers, the homophobia is unbearable as well as the clear campaign to be a traditional Christian family as the ultimate goal.
Word of advice for adoptive parents: don't even try! Our families are not even considered and some chapters might actually stir our own fears without giving us any useful advice. -
It was really good but I would suggest not letting your teens read it.... Just saying.
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Really great advice on how to connect with and show love to your kids, honoring their unique personalities and preferences during these transitional teenage years. I currently have 2 teens and 1 preteen, and in these last few weeks as I've been listening to this book I think I have been able to understand them better.
The book goes through the Five Love Languages and how to recognize them and apply them to your teenagers. That was only the first half of the book, though, and I wondered what would be in the rest of the book. The second half talks about common challenges and topics with raising teens and advice on how to parent through those issues in general, and in using the Five Love Languages. I found I even learned from the chapters that didn't specifically apply to my children (for example the chapters on single parenthood and blended families).
A common theme in this book is how to teach your kids using the double-sided coin of freedom and responsibility.
This audiobook is in high demand through my library system on Libby. I put it on hold June 2020 and finally got it 15 months and 3 days later, in September 2021. When it became available I dropped everything else I was reading so I could read the entire book in my allotted time. I knew I wouldn't get it for another year+ if I needed to check it out again. I finished it 3 minutes before it was automatically returned! 😆 -
This is a great review for parents of teenagers. It talks about the different methods that we can express love to our teenagers, when and how to utilize them, and how the five love languages apply to kids when they become teenagers versus when they were children.
I highly recommend this book for all parents-- and read it BEFORE they become teenagers so that you are prepared to grow and 'change' with them! Of course, I highly recommend the book
The Five Love Languages of Children for all parents of children. -
Most people associate the "love languages" books with trying to make sense of a spouse's needs within the context of marriage, but the "teenagers" version is equally useful, if not as well known. Lots of great parenting material in here, but the most useful part is the love languages test, which a teenager can take to reveal what their needs are to themselves and to their parent/guardian. This is really valuable info for a parent who feels they don't know how to relate to their teenager... The book is further divided by "language," so once a parent knows their teen's love language they can learn concrete ways to relate to them better. Good stuff.
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This book has been one of the most useful parenting books I have ever read. Rather than methodology, it focuses on how to love your teen in a way that they will receive it. It builds on the premise that if a person feels emotional love from those closest to him or her, it will radically impact relationships and choices for the good.
I actually got quite a lot of encouragement and conviction out of these pages, but no condemnation. No promises or guarantees implying that my teens will "turn out right" in the end if I just follow some formula. It's a practical how-to guide on loving another person.
I needed every word. -
I read the original 5 Love Languages book and really like the message of the book. I wasn't sure if this one had any more information from the original but it was really worth the read with great insight into the teenage brain. The bottom line is that with teenagers you really need to give them all 5 love languages. Best lesson learned...not to take it personal that they want/need their independence. I also had my girls go on-line and take Gary Chapman's test. The result was mostly what I thought but very interesting.
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Sept 2018: While not revolutionary if you're familiar with the 5 Love Languages concept, this was an excellent reminder, and certainly helped with giving a new look at dealing with teenagers. I found it to be very helpful on both those counts and would highly recommend this to anyone with a teen or pre-teen. I should probably read this again in a year or two!
Sept 2020: Honestly, I forgot I read this previously, funny to see I said I should read it again in a year or two and did exactly 2 yrs later. Good review, but I kept wanting to skip ahead from remembering it. -
OK - read the review on the 'adult' version of 5 Love Languages first. Now that adults know how to love each other, teens should be a cinch! Right? Why do you pause? Hold on... pray, and then wait until they are 25 then you will learn their love language (give them the adult book at that time). Until then, learn to show them the unconditional love of Christ... then they will know the real love language: God's!
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Not sure if the premise is correct about the five languages of love and their consequences in parenting, but the author does give some fairly obvious observations about how and why to foster the independence of a teenager. The religious referrals are particularly suspect in that their inclusion in essentially a how-to book from a psychologist (scientist) makes me question the science behind his advice. Yet, some things in this book are useful. Apparently, I need all the help I can get.
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This guide started out well enough, but as many other reviewers pointed out, it gets repetitive and superficial from there. I was pretty impressed that the author could string out the basics of his five love languages concept for so long, without really adding any new information. Still, this gave me a refresher on perceiving the different ways teens express themselves, so I guess it was somewhat worthwhile. Skim through his original book, though, to get it all and save some time.
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This book was good for me to read as my oldest is now a teenager. This was a wake up call to me--you can't fill your teenager's love tank the same way you filled it when he was a child. They are going through new phases and need our patience and unconditional love. There were practical tips on how to reach our teenagers and keep them close, while letting them gain independence. I recommend it to all parents of teens!
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To each his own. This is a great book for parents with teenagers. I have two and this book was right on queue. Raising teens in this day and age is difficult, but if you can figure out their love language and fill their tank, you will succeed. Thank you Dr. Chapman!
I use this book as a reference guide on a continuing basis. -
I read two of Chapman's other Love Language books but still enjoyed this one. I loved hearing about the love languages applied specifically to teenagers. Chapman makes some great points about how the love languages can change from childhood to the teenager and within the teenage years. Great insight and wonderful ideas to apply in our own families.
