I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass

I Never Told Anyone: Writings by Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse Reviews

• 
  Matthew Kowalski

  I finished reading this book a few months ago, and I did not want to share the work because of the pain and the shame. Who am I for reading this book, I am a survivor though I may not be female. I hate rating books like this because they are not good in the sense that they should not have to exist. Though since these things do exist we need these books.
  
  We need these books because these are not things that people always tell each other, and we have to know we are not alone or their are solutions, and survivors.
  This book discusses the very personal stories of a number of people and their very real pain.
  
  I need this book because I want to understand, others pain and my own, I want to know how to have the conversations that can heal one another because I know they can. I have seen stories and connections change people.
  
  I have seen caring make a difference.
  
  
• 
  Daisy Castaneda

  This book was really interesting. The story made you realize that abuse to children occurs really often... i didn't even think that abuse to children occurred. It made me so sad and mad that dads could do that to their children. There were many authors in the book, every story had it's author. I was glad that the children who got abused finally told someone about their experiences of been abused. "I am to weak to fight him off, but if i could fight him off for long, but he loves me, but he's pulling hard. GO AWAY" The worst thing is that the children feel that they are been abused, but they think their dad loves them so therefore whatever he is doing to them is right.
  Not only do dads abuse their children but also grandpas, uncles, strangers, "friends", and even grandmas. "Yeah I'm blaming you, you prickhole prick fuck flap jack. I'm blaming you and I'm blaming you good. Yeah I'm telling you you're full of shit, your innocence." The children that were abused express them self with a lot of hate. I feel bad for the kids that had to go through this experience. "I heard the man's feet crushing the weeds behind me and I glanced back to see him getting closer." This quote reminds me of a scary movie, when something really bad is about to happen.Some parts of the stories were really sad and disgusting to hear, but it was all true. I liked this book because i liked that the people who got abused were able to stand up and not be ashamed and tell the world their stories.
  
• 
  Rhonda Rae Baker

  This is a groundbreaking anthology and must be read collection that will change your underlying thoughts of incest and abuse of all types. Although the primary focus is in getting 'your' personal story out, I found that reading others stories was inspiring!
  
  As I've read many recommended books in the resource section of this book, I'm finding that the most important thing to do is continue pressing for truth and revelation of what happened to me as a child and what happened to my children.
  
  I feel a calling to DO something about it. My writing now is more focused and out of the box that I had previously built for myself. No longer feeling like I have to 'paint' a pretty picture, or that I have to regard 'other's feelings about what I write, my heart tells me that only the 'truth' will set us free. It is important to discover the truth is what matters most, irregardless of what others may think or do when they read what has happened in my family.
  
  While reading this anthology, as when reading other novels and memoirs of this type, I've discovered there is only one way to find deep healing and that is to talk about the secrets. Don't keep it bottled up inside...you're innocent...you are precious and special. You're not dirty and you didn't ask to be abused or to be mistreated. You are NOT the one that did anything wrong and it's important that you find your voice. Use it, say what you need to say...as in the song...say what is on your heart, what is in your nightmares and dreams, say whatever it is you need to say and get your story OUT. Don't bury it anylonger as this type of thing will never leave you until you do, in one way or another, share with someone...allow the emotions to surface and don't bury them any longer.
  
  You may not know it but what has been buried within your mind and heart and body all these years could be what has caused you many years of torment. By getting the story out and by saying what you need to say, I perceive that your health and happiness can be stronger and you can FINALLY life free. Free to be yourself, no shame in that, no insult or terror, but liberating truth that you are a very special person and you are meant to be happy. It was not your fault...(-:
• 
  Susanna Sturgis

  When this book came out, I was a feminist bookseller. Why didn't I read it then? Because I Never Told Anyone flew off the shelves without my help. So many, many women were looking for this book and for Voices in the Night, which came out around the same time. And so many of my friends were survivors of incest and other sexual abuse. I heard their stories firsthand. I read their poems and stories.
  
  So why now? One of the two viewpoint characters in my novel in progress is a sixth-grade girl who's been incested by her stepfather in the past and is being threatened again. Whenever I tried to show her at home, my mind recoiled as if it were touching hot metal. All the stories I've heard were told by adult survivors. They'd managed to escape. Trying to imagine myself into the mind and body of an 11-year-old with no way out was just too hard. Kids are so powerless, and when the authority figures in their lives are abusive or untrustworthy -- well, the mind has good reason for recoiling.
  
  Reading this book has helped strengthen my imagination, my courage, and my belief in the story I'm trying to tell. Though it was published in 1983, most of the stories could have happened in this decade. Similar stories are taking place right now. When I went looking for books on incest, most of what I found was written by and aimed at therapists who work with survivors. I wish there were more first-person anthologies like this one and Voices in the Night.
• 
  Melissa Lee-Tammeus

  This is on my therapy shelf and I decided to read it through to make sure I wanted to recommend it for a women's group I am thinking of putting together. This book is older - edited in 1983 - but unfortunately the subject matter is as as new as today. This is a collection of women writers who are survivors of sexual molestation and rape. Reading this gave me vivid dreams and actually prevented me from an outing in which I would have been alone in the evening - the stories are so raw and powerful, they made me ache. A few brought tears to my eyes. Each of these women are powerful in their words and haunting in their memories of the loss of their innocence at the hands of someone who they should have been able to trust. I recommend this to anyone who would like to understand this subject matter more - it will stay with you.
• 
  Laurice Grae-Hauck

  Being a survivor of sexual abuse can be very isolating. Often the abuser intentionally isolates their victims. You can feel alone and as if there is no one who understands. This collect of writing from other survivors of sexual abuse will help you to know that you are truly not alone and that there are other women who have lived to tell their tales.
• 
  Kelly

  painful, but again, a good start along the road to "i am not crazy".
• 
  Kells Perry

  Liked the book, only thing I wished for was an account of stepfather/daughter incest as that applies more directly to my case.
• 
  Lindsey

  A powerful book that is difficult to read, yet it must be read. There is so much power in sharing stories.
• 
  Angie crosby

  Great to help you feel not so alone
• 
  Janelle

  A little dated but sadly I don’t think much has changed since this has been published. We may never know the true extent of how children (girls AND boys) are subject to horrifying sexual abuse at the hands of trusted adults, parents, siblings, or other family members. Definitely a difficult read, I had to prepare myself and be in the right mindset to be able handle reading this book every time I opened it. While it wasn’t easy to read, I do think its important for this topic to be talked about more, as taboo as it is. I believe these stories need to continue to be shared as much as possible. Children need to feel heard and believed when confessing their abuse to adults. Adults need to believe children (and anyone for that matter), when they reveal that they have been abused. Children need to be taught from an early age that they have bodily autonomy. Very many of these stories had similarities and you can definitely see common tactics that abusers across the board use. If you are a survivor of CSA or any sexual abuse, I would use caution when reading this. Make sure you have supportive people or other resources to fall back on if you get retraumatized while reading through the stories.
• 
  Alexander

  It was very helpful to read these.
• 
  Senobio

  Ignorance is only blissful for the dumb, for those of us that can think it is a willful disregard for the truth, and "all that is necessary for evil to triumph, is that good men do nothing." In this vein I picked up this book to gain perspective about some things I know nothing about. A visceral and evocative collection of story's that strike to the heart of the subject matter and while it could never completely convey the horror and violation of the survivors it has helped me to better see the shadow on the wall.
• 
  Jacquie

  This is a powerful collection of essays and poems by female-identifying surviviors of CSA. To read this book is to listen and to pay homage to the strength and resilience these women have exhibited and the pain and suffering they have endured. Fellow survivors reading this may find themselves deeply understood and connected to others who have shared similar experiences, but may also struggle with being triggered by the stories as many are rather graphic in nature. Still, this book is powerful for its honesty and truth, and its collective triumph over the shame of sexual assault.
• 
  Shi Hernandez

  This book is about sexualy abused children.There are many women who told there stories in "I Never Told Anyone.I am glad they had the courage to finally come out and talk about it. I know it must have took a lot of courage to recall the horrific insidents that happened when they were younger.
  It actually pretty much took me a day to read this book.There were times when I wanted to stop reading it beacause of all the anger I had. Well I was reading I had a lot of emotions come upon me. I felt disgusted that people can do that to children. Kids have no controll over what they did to them,I mean they are just LITTLE kids. I was also angry in how some of the mothers knew what thier husbands were doing, and yet they did nothing because they to were scared. I was hurt and sad at what these kids went through. They must have felt horrible, I mean I know if I went through something like this I would feel horrible.
  Most of the stories in the book are of there own family memebers. Father,grandfather,brothers,uncles,grandmothers those are they people yoouare suppose to trust the most. Also some were trusted famliy friend even pastors and priests wow that shocked me. Yet some were still by starngers that they didn't know. The women in the book tell how it took so long to tell someone. Overall this book informed a lot about how there are some really cruel people in this world!
• 
  Fed

  I read this book to understand the problem and the victims for counselling purposes. This book made me cry many times. This heinous act must stop! Among the social issues of our society this is one of the issues that angers me the most. Many think that sexual abuse is about pleasure and sex addiction, but truly it is about power.
  
  Children who suffer such abuse go through incredible psychological issues which without freedom from it, will plague them for life. Abuse done by family members is the worst, it changes children's understanding of love making it something that hurts instead of the beautiful thing that Love has been created to be.
• 
  Liz

  While the stories in this are okay -- some are hard to read because they lack details or what I percieve as a depth of feeling / emotion (I believe part of this is because of the time period in which these writers were writing) -- this book didn't provide me what I was looking for, which is why I'm rating it low. I also expected more out of a book co-edited by Ellen Bass, because of how useful I found The Courage to Heal.
• 
  Lisa

  This book made me cry.
• 
  Tola Cream

  Gosh its sad.
  
  These people and their stories, how can some people be so cruel and twisted. All of the stories wasnt true but i can surely tell you there base on true stories.
• 
  Shelly

  Sad, but inspiring. I'm glad so many of these women were able to go on and live good lives.
• 
  Dave

  Not an easy book to read. But worth worth reading nonetheless.