The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction by Christine Carter

The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction Reviews

• 
  Christine Carter

  I think it was fabulous! :-) But then again, I wrote it.
• 
  Leah Agirlandaboy

  I’ll round up to four stars on this, I think. It has a good amount of information and actionable tips—albeit many of the “take what’s useful, leave the rest” variety—and I didn’t find myself yelling at the book via margin notes too much, which is a thing that happens whenever I read anything even remotely self-helpy. (Maybe I liked it because I mostly agreed with it already? Funny how that works.)
  
  The author writes from a position of having older, “typical” teens, but the book feels like a good way for even parents of younger kids, or kids who are less stereotypical (for example, kids *not* motivated to earn money because they want to buy brand-name clothes), to get a jump on things by inviting us to think about certain issues before they become problems we’re actively dealing with in real time. (My oldest is 12 and a lot of the advice isn’t relevant yet, but I imagine it will be soon.) The good end notes and good index add to the book’s usefulness as a resource you can dip back into over time.
  
  The book has all the regular problems that come with writing from a place of privilege (e.g., there’s a fair amount of “do what you love and the money will follow”–adjacent magical thinking that leaves out so many people from the general population who don’t have built-in safety nets), but the author does at least make an effort to acknowledge this limitation (although she doesn’t always then act in accordance with what she says she values). Still, overall, I think there’s a lot of worthwhile stuff here, especially if you’re a parent who leans toward the permissive and/or achievement-obsessed and/or materialistic style of parenting. (I don’t, but it’s nice to feel validated that the Other Ways are recommended.) For me the best advice was that it’s important not just to allow our kids to make mistakes (I’m pretty good at that) but to be mindful about how we react when that happens. (I need to be kinder and less I-told-you-so.)
  
  This isn’t a definitive book, but I do recommend adding it to your broad, deep reading on parenting.
• 
  Alicia

  Phenomenally accessible, I know that it's easy to review a book I enjoyed and also felt a sense of kinship in reading-- not that I have a teenager yet, but as she describes in the beginning of the book, my kids are hitting puberty and therefore part of adolescence and having boys, knowing that this will continue into their twenties. So I'm there, but I also wholeheartedly appreciate her approach: a balance of personal stories/biographical with the larger portion focused on her work in sociology and scientific study. Then she truly hits her mission of addressing "new adolescence" in the sense that teenagers now are different with the fourth industrial revolution, that of technology infused everything.
  
  She is focused in her approach that includes clear chapters and headings, bullet points, bold text, and text boxes when necessary that allow for a perfect flow between ideas. Again, also balancing the waves of personal stories with the professional approach of raising teenagers and how to engage in meaningful conversation but what to be prepared for when it doesn't go well (like, what is going on in their brains!) and how to re-calibrate. I definitely highlighted some text and it makes me want to improve my parenting while also solidifying some of the things that my spouse and I already do with our children.
  
  The best kind of books related to social/psychology and science are the ones that make me think and want to re-think my approach. And this one does just that. Plus it helps in my job too because I work with teenagers!
• 
  Adrienne

  Nothing necessarily groundbreaking here, but good reminders and tips to keep me focused on being a respectful and effective partner to my teen as she transitions to adulthood.
• 
  Paula

  I felt like the book was accessible. A lot of good suggestions without feeling preachy or just making me feel like a terrible parent : ) I didn't agree with everything, but I never do with these books. All in all, I'm glad I read it and would recommend to others!
• 
  Brittany

  Wow! Packed with good information. Raising kids is definitely not for the faint of heart.
• 
  Melanie

  [I borrowed this book in paper at my last duty station, then we moved from the area and the new library does not have it, nor is it available in ebook form in any library that I belong to, so I'm shifting it to the "did not finish" pile.]
  
  Ehhhh, I'm kind of irritated by this book, but I also kind of want to buy it to refer to again and again.
  
  This is one of those books that was published at an unfortunate time (2020) and therefore already has a quaintness of pre-pandemic days. It's also definitely oriented for an affluent audience (boarding school, college-assumed, etc).
• 
  Sarah

  I heard the author on the Tilt Parenting podcast and wanted to hear more. I borrowed the book from the library, and returned it unfinished.
  
  The chapter on when kids struggle is tone deaf and offensive, especially in the midst of a pandemic. It claims life in America has improved so much that even being poor isn’t that bad. Several pages are devoted to this claim and I just couldn’t get past it. Even before COVID, families were struggling.
  
  Don’t recommend and did not finish.
• 
  Javeria Zaidi

  
  From the outset, the author came across as honest and genuine. She stated clearly in the beginning, to take what we found useful and to leave the rest. That “permission” of sorts, helped me relax.. the pressure was off; I didn’t have to do ALL THE THINGS.
  
  Broadly speaking, the book espouses the authoritative style of parenting. There are plenty of examples about how to speak to our teens and tweens, with confidence, without bossiness. If you know me in personal life, you know that I love marking my books… underlining important bits, writing in the margins. So it was great that most important parts were written in bold. Next time I want to skim through, I can read through the bold print to refresh my memory. (Does this mean I didn’t mark this one? Pfft. Please. 😂)
  
  My absolute favourite chapters were the ones dealing with sex, drugs and money. Especially sex and drugs. These two topics are daunting and awkward, and something I dread talking about when the time comes.
  
  Re: sex
  Being a practising Muslim, I’m going to teach my children to abstain until marriage. However, they still need to be informed about many important aspects. I don’t know about peer pressure in this regard… I didn’t experience that, but my kids are growing up in a different environment. So I need to prepare them accordingly. In other parenting books/blogs, I’ve read about parents buying condoms for their teens because “they’re going to do it anyway, they might as well be safe.” That’s fine - to each their own. But how do I convince *my kids* not to? This book cites research that shows why sex in teens is actually harmful in the long term, and that waiting until you have a meaningful relationship is much better.
  I can see myself referring to this book to help with this conversation when the time comes.
  
  Also: this book is filled with references to other books. I’ve made a list! 😆
• 
  Dana Phillips

  This book was a great read and worth taking a look at for any parent. It's FULL of useful information and practical steps parents can take to raise happier and healthier kids. Author Christine Carter, PhD has done extensive research and shares what she's found in a very captivating way. Chapters cover everything affecting teens today: use of digital devices, stress, sleep, sex, drugs, pornography, socialization, etc. Not only does she present her research findings, but she also discusses what parents should do with the information. Having 4 teenagers in her own home, Carter's book provides many personal stories and verbatim conversations she and her husband have had with their kids. I listened to the audiobook, but I found this book so helpful I'm going to purchase it. I can see it as something I will go back to again and again.
• 
  Jennifer Rumack

  As an educator and mom of teens, I found this book to be a "one stop shop" for all the advice you need to start down a great parenting path or to do some course corrections. Dr. Christine Carter blends anecdotes from her own life with adolescents as well as the from her years of coaching adults. The statistics are staggering, the scripts are easily applied and the examples are based in this generation’s reality. Her authenticity and her solid coaching approach will allow every parent the encouragement that they need to just give some of her ideas a try. I have already started telling my daughter…..” It’s your call!” Along with Julie Lythcott-Haims’ book How to Raise an Adult, The New Adolescence will be on my list of most recommended books for parents and educators alike.
• 
  Tangled in Text

  This had some scary statistics but it served its purpose making sure parents know that suicide, sexual assault, depression, and anxiety rates are all constantly rising.
  
  My niece is a preteen and I wanted to start reading books on how to handle questions she might have and make sure I can translate my support and love for her in a language she would hear and not be embarrassed by.
  
  This had great ideas how to broach topics, how to set boundaries, and start that train in motion so when they are put in situations they know how to handle them. I would 100% read this again and recommend it to not only teenage mothers but to anyone who has little ones in their life because it has great building blocks to make sure and start young to set that foundation right.
• 
  Amy

  As a mother of two tweens, I really appreciated this books direct suggestions. Many great parenting books are out there, but this one offers ideas the author has used with her own teens for how to deal with specific situations that come up in modern parenting (phones, vaping, sexting, distracted driving). We're not there yet for most of this, but it's good to be prepared... And, yes, this was written before the pandemic, so some things are more complicated, but the concerns about teens becoming isolated and only interacting with their devices is all the more applicable.
• 
  Jonesy

  As the mother of an 11 year old I was excited to receive an ARC of this book from Netgalley.
  It absolutely did not disappoint. It is full of useful ideas to help make your familial relationships healthy and stronger.
  It gave me a lot of confidence as a mother, knowing that I'm doing it right. I just need to keep persevering and my son will become the healthy independent adult I know he can be.
  Highly recommended for anyone with children 8+. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
• 
  Andrea

  I think this applies to both teens and adults! I found many useful tips for myself and made my son listen to several of the chapters as well. I was really surprised by the chapter on drugs and the affects of marijuana on the adolescent brain. I think some consideration could have been given to non neurotypical teens and the chapter on money management could only have been written by someone of privilege, but overall I'd recommend this book.
• 
  Damon Bailey

  Parents, if you are struggling to communicate with your teen, but are resolved not to repeat intergenerational conflicts, this will be one to add to your toolkit. Carter has the experience and she softens the blow of some fact-based arguments that I didn't particularly want to--but needed to hear. Still finding a balance, still lots of trial and error... lots of error. But I'm a better parent for reading this book, no doubt.
• 
  Cindelu

  I won this book on Goodreads. It was an insightful look at todays electronic culture and the young teenage developing mind. The new stressors and knowledge as well as dangers lurking that implode in our children's brains every day. Excellent ideas on handling situations that will come up. I have given it to my daughter who has four kids ages 9-14. Good luck all of you parents of today.
• 
  Linda

  I found this book to have some very helpful information in it for raising teenagers. As a mother of a 14 year old, some of it scared the crap out of me but I’m glad I read it and I’m in the know about teens growing up in our world today. I was shocked at some of the statistics (some good, some bad). Some parts were redundant, but otherwise a good guide for parents of teens.
• 
  Julia

  I haven't taken notes while reading for a long time, but I found myself doing so with this book. I loved the information on connection, sleep and stillness. The contacts at the end for owning a phone and driving a car were profound. I felt hopeful about raising adolescents after reading this book. Highly recommend.
• 
  Chelsea

  I highly recommend this book. It was easy to read- especially in the midst of a difficult time. It doesn't sound self righteous or preach-y. The stats were just enough to gasp and want to apply the suggested strategy. I appreciated the bold print and side boxes for referring back to the information.
• 
  Fred

  A fair bit over the top in its assumptions, particularly regarding school. I think it's fine for the average parent with a child in stand, compulsory schooling, but I am not entirely on board with how much she seemed to encourage parents having a rather large role in directing their child's educational path.
  
  At least that's the big negative I got from it.
• 
  Natalyn

  Full of great information and techniques, I’m just not sure I always agreed with the stance the author wanted me to agree with. Definitely an interesting resource for having conversations with teens though.
• 
  Vova Zakharov

  I love this book! I was reading this book for my child psychology class in university. I learned a lot from this. I think this book will understand their teenager son or daughter better after reading this. 100% recommend.
• 
  Erin McIntosh

  I can't say enough good things about this book! It is full of useful tools and tips. Carter isn't preachy, nor is the book fluffy. If you're looking for a resource to guide you into the world of teenagers, this is it.
• 
  Audrey Monke

  A must read for parents of pre-teens & teens. Available for pre-order now. Coming 2/20.