Bad Mommy Stay Mommy by Elisabeth Horan

Bad Mommy Stay Mommy Reviews

• 
  Dane Cobain

  This book was super moving, mainly because of its subject matter (postpartum depression). I think Horan did a great job of writing moving words that help the reader to understand what she went through.
  
  
• 
  Miss December

  Elisabeth Horan writes with such raw and stunning courage in this collection that it's no wonder she's quickly on the rise. Her words about post-partum depression will knock you flat. While this is the central theme, she peppers in tributes to Henry James and "The Yellow Wallpaper" among others while keeping the storyline of the book intact, and it makes for an excellent read.
  One of the more striking verses came from the poem "It's My Mind Which Does This-" and to me, it summed up a lot of the recurring themes of the book: "Sickened, like a bloated sponge/Riddled in bacteria, no vaccine/No hieroglyphs, I pretend/the disease//Is a friend" where the speaker describes the awareness of her illness, how she feels trapped, and what to do about her situation as her life keeps happening around her. There are so many other vivid, gritty, and somber descriptions about this disease that the last poem, "Stay Mommy" will catch you off guard with with the teasing glimpse of hope that Horan presents.
  Horan will eviscerate you with her words, clean the knife, then put it back in the drawer.
• 
  Stu Buck

  An extremely brave and powerful look at motherhood, postpartum depression and the changes we go through as parents, both physically and spiritually. Many of these poems truck a chord with me, having witnessed first hand how motherhood affects people in different ways. These poems are often desperate and pleading but written in a way that never comes off as dishonest or fake. It is clear these words are driven by memories and experiences. They are all very powerful and well written, with a confidence to use the sort of language that others could mishandle. There is a very strong theme running through this collection meaning it flows well, and the overall feeling is that of a powerful person, someone that realises it is OK to be desperate sometimes. Excellent.
• 
  Melissa

  This is such important and powerful poetry. Though the situations presented differ for every person who reads this, everyone has never the less felt a lot of the emotion that comes through in this series. So incredibly heart wrenching and tearful to go through Elisabeth's feelings with her, yet coming out the other end gives us all a glimmer of hope and a realization that none of us are alone in suffering.
• 
  Emma

  Being a mother in today’s society is tough. Really, really tough. With the advances in social media your whole life is plastered over the internet. You can’t help but feel a little judged. Comments, opinions and unwanted advice fill your inbox, your head and set you up to feel like a failure before you’ve even given birth. You spend every waking moment looking after a tiny human to the extent that you forget to take care of yourself. It’s a dark and lonely place. You can’t help but tumble down the rabbit hole and have a tea party with the mad hatter. After all, we’re all mad here…right?
  
  I felt a huge wave of relief cascade calmly over me as I immersed myself in this book. Finally, a poetic voice showing the harsh reality of mental health combined with motherhood. Horan stands boldly naked in front of reader, her battle scars proudly on display. I love it! It’s raw and honest about how mental health can consume your very soul.
  
  Horan’s poems ooze with pain and suffering. She does a skilful job of normalising the struggles of mental health. Mothers are often shamed for suffering with postpartum and forced to hide it. It’s a topic that NEEDS to be discussed more and let loose out into the wild. Horan is speaking to these vulnerable women through her poetry, letting them know they are not alone. These poems are laced with emotions of the heart. Powerful, inspiring words that open the readers eyes to a hidden unknown world of hopelessness.
  
  I found I Hate Elisabeth Horan, hit close to home for me personally. I could relate to the self loathing and hatred of oneself. I found comfort knowing I wasn’t the only one with these thoughts. That much needed friend to confide in was there all along, right in front of me. I strongly believe that this sincere book of poetry will help many women. It’s a revolution and needs to be heard, spoken loudly around the world.
  
  The way Horan uses imagery in her poems is delicately beautiful. She knows how to craft her words, stitching them together like a patchwork quilt. I feel honoured that Horan has shared such deep personal experiences in her writing. There is so much confusion, torment and despair. When I finished reading, all I wanted to do was give Horan a big hug and suggest drowning our sorrows over a bottle of wine one summer’s evening. My heart ached and I could feel the tears welling up before I even finished the book.
  
  This was an intense reading experience. It forced me to come to terms with not only how I have suffered with mental health but made me aware of how women everywhere are dealing with this in silence. Everyone expects this magical experience when they become a mother. They hype it up to such perfection that when you fail to meet the standards you crash head first into the dirt. No wonder mothers suffer with mental health when so much is expected from them the minute they see those two daunting pink lines.
  
  Horan’s writing is such a refreshing sight to read. She is blunt and honest about the darker side of being a mother. I raise my lukewarm tea to you Horan, well done for speaking up for those of us who struggle too.
  
  I give Bad Mommy Stay Mummy By Elisabeth Horan a Four out of Five paw rating.
  
  I highly recommend this book to everyone, especially mothers struggling with their mental health. Horan speaks the truth and doesn’t hold back. It’s comforting to know that you are not alone as it is easy to get lost in a sea of a thousand voices.
  
  Thank you Horan, your poetry is reassuring to read when one falls into the darkness. Such a comfort to see that blindingly bright light at the end of the tunnel. There is always still hope.
• 
  Jackie Law

  Bad Mommy / Stay Mommy, by Elisabeth Horan, is a collection of poems that provide a visceral and often harrowing account of the author’s postpartum depression. Following the birth of her second son, Horan found her world unravelling. Her behaviour made others uncomfortable and, at times, angry. She was not behaving as a new mother is required by society. Most of all though Horan struggled to cope with the change in herself.
  
  “I am you in mixed acrylic on a Pollack canvas”
  
  The author writes of the guilt she feels over how she treats her two young children due to her illness. The boys know that she is sad but must still bear the brunt of her mood changes.
  
  “Who am I? lashing out –
  my tongue a leather whip
  leaving verbal welts
  on the back of someone so small”
  
  In Wellbutrin in my Brain, Horan recounts the effects of the medication she was prescribed.
  
  “I’m fat and puffy yet endlessly hungry,
  my hair in my hands and
  my back to the wall of a cliff;
  then falling, falling
  into a Dali sea –
  
  Rife and roiling with
  lunatics like me.”
  
  Efforts to be around her family are depicted in raw, emotion. She writes of prowling through night’s darkness and of regrets when, exhausted, she lashes out again.
  
  “But what of the little boy?
  Cowering, looking to me for shelter”
  
  Basement Mother is one of several poems that reference her self-hatred. This leads to suicidal thoughts that are expanded upon. In Mother Maple she writes of the cost to her family.
  
  “Funnny, how they hold up
  The felled trunk of me
  Even as they succumb
  From my smothering –
  From the immense weight
  Crushing them.”
  
  Despite the torment she knows that her family wants her. She struggles to see how, in this state, she can be good for them. She becomes desperate to find a way out of the abyss.
  
  “Gnawing on one’s own failure bed
  my prone heart
  the same the same”
  
  A climax is reached in Better off without me which is powerful, painful, and should be read in its entirety.
  
  As the title suggests, eventually Horan finds a way to stay alive.
  
  “t’isn’t easy being in the world now
  as a member, not an inmate
  
  My own warden.”
  
  It is rare to find such an honest depiction of a new mother’s wounds and shortcomings. The complexities of mental illness are balanced with the love felt for the children, love that is written between the lines rather than sentimentalised. Despite the depression so searingly depicted there is hope in this collection.
  
  A stark yet spirited window into a condition rarely brought into open, honest discussion. An important portrayal that overflows with a rare candour. Hear her roar.
• 
  Cheryl M-M

  There is an ongoing attempt to bring the scary misunderstood and taboo topic of mental health into the sunlight. There is a stigma surrounding the topic and it's time for there to be a better understanding of what comes under the description of mental health illness, how it is treated and how it affects the lives of those living and dealing with it.
  
  It isn't a solitary diagnosis. Family members, loved ones and sometimes even society become part of the circle surrounding that one person.
  
  It's graphic, in a sense that she describes emotions and situations that usually stay hidden inside our heads. Not being able to cope is deemed a weakness, as is being overwhelmed and frustrated. I would say this is particularly the case when it comes to women and postpartum depression. There is any extra layer of judgement reserved for women who appear to society to be unable to fulfil the role of motherhood in the way that is expected of them.
  
  There is this automatic expectation of a maternal bond between mother and child. A switch that is flipped for every woman, but the truth is that it doesn't happen that way for all women. Our own thought processes, emotions and hormones betray us in the most unexpected way. In a way that makes the woman a social pariah, because not embracing your child and not exhibiting emotions that are expected of us, it's incomprehensible to many people.
  
  The poetry has a staccato feel to it, almost as if the author is thrusting her words towards us. Towards anyone, in an attempt to make someone pay attention. Hear me, hear my pain and confusion.
  
  It's poetry, a book filled with brutally honest words describing the inner torment she feels.
  I'll leave you with words by Horan, which describe my reading experience of this book quite well: 'You have been unnerved by me'.
  *I received a courtesy copy*
• 
  Emma Rowson

  I was instantly intrigued by Bad Mommy, Stay Mommy. My experience of motherhood with my firstborn was blighted by postnatal depression, and as a result I am fascinated by prose and poetry which embrace and explore the more negative aspects and emotions associated with being a new mother. It is a subject so often shuffled into a dark corner, hidden away as taboo. Women, such as Elisabeth Horan, who deliver their art with such vital honesty, encourage those difficult conversations to take place and, I hope, give new mothers who are also struggling the comfort and the knowledge that they are not alone.
  Bad Mommy, Stay Mommy is a very personal and incredibly powerful collection of poetry. There is so much emotion stuffed into each word, the imagery is vivid and striking so that even when I perhaps didn’t ‘get’ the poem 100% in its entirety (and there were a few that flew over my head, I’ll admit), my imagination was thoroughly assaulted by identifiable visual snapshots which enabled me to piece together my own version, and which I found in turn sparked inspiration for my own writing.
  I found reading this at times difficult in terms of the content. I read slowly to allow for reflection both of the poem and for myself, one such particular poem which really got to me, was ‘Keeping Tabs’ which I completely identified with.
  I also found these poems healing to read. To know that someone else has voiced those doubts, those fears and feelings that I once had is very comforting, and the final poem, ‘Stay Mommy’ made my eyes leak profusely; concluding beautifully with a hopeful and uplifting high. The perfect ending to a powerful and important collection, one that I know I will return to in the future.
• 
  Jessica Drake-Thomas

  Bad Mommy, Stay Mommy poses the question—does mental illness make someone a bad person? Is it still possible to be redeemed, despite the chaotic, destructive things that brain chemicals cause a person to do? Is it possible to love oneself when it’s so much easier to listen to that nagging inner voice that is telling one to self-destruct? The Speaker constantly trying to cut herself down, calling herself a bad parent. At the same time, I’m so sorry is also repeated, indicating remorse and love. The final piece, “Stay Mommy,” is a testament to what the speaker has been through, and how her love for her children and their love for her is worth fighting for. When she mentions her children’s reaction to her outbursts, it’s heartbreaking, but it’s so relatable. Because when you’re mentally ill, you’re not the only one who suffers—friends and family also suffer.
  
  This collection is a step forward in undermining the stigma around it. I think the biggest challenge that writers in this tradition have is running the line between shock and melodrama because people who are not mentally ill tend to view our symptoms and experiences with fear. Elisabeth Horan presents it in a way that says something different. She juxtaposes her experience with other female writers in the tradition—Plath, Woolf. But here, she presents a different alternative to the ultimately devastating route that they took, but at the same time, not condemning them. Elisabeth Horan establishes herself as a poet with a strong voice and a keen sense of craft.
• 
  Mela Blust

  In this heart wrenching collection of poems, Elisabeth Horan's use of language weaves a tapestry laced with raw sorrow, anger, fear, and, tentatively, hope. Breathlessly rife with emotion, Elisabeth's experience with the pain, shame, and struggles of postpartum depression are masterfully rendered within these pages, and come to a tender conclusion at the end - stay, mommy. This collection is absolutely astounding in its path from despair, to the luminescent possibility of hope.
• 
  Kate Garrett

  A very brave and important work concerning motherhood and mental health. Highly recommended. The final poem in the book made me cry on the bus.