Maybe Baby by Tenaya Darlington

Maybe Baby Reviews

• 
  Sarah

  I very much enjoyed this book. And, let's be honest, I very rarely judge a book I read for pleasure by any other criteria. Why should I?
  
  So, as a Wisconsinite, I feel that Darlington really captured the good intent that shapes our state's character. Famous serial killers aside, most people in Wisconsin don't intend to be offensive or intruding or uncaring. We are a good-intentioned people -- remember where the Progressive movement was born. Unfortunately, sometimes those good intentions result in people like Joe McCarthy.
  
  And therein the conflict in this book lies. Everybody in it has good intentions -- you could even say they have the best intentions -- it's just that their ideas are wildly disparate. On the one hand, you have Rusty and Judy, the parents of three children who are far from what they expected. Rusty and Judy are very traditional; they want their children to fit easily into society and be successful. In clinging to these wishes, they let their children (and themselves) become strangers to each other. One by one, their children left them, and they don't really know why.
  
  On the other hand, you have their daughter Gretchen and her boyfriend Ray, who are expecting a baby. Their first grandchild! Unfortunately, Gretchen and Ray want to raise their child in a very nontraditional way: The gender of the child is to be revealed to absolutely no one, in any way whatsoever. This is absolutely bewildering to Rusty and Judy, for whom happiness lies in embracing a sort of fairy tale world where gender is an either/or option.
  
  The conflict between these good intentions force everyone involved to reexamine their relationships, which have been neglected for far too long.
  
  Welcome to Wisconsin, folks. We mean our best.
• 
  Jennie

  This book was a let-down from my expectations...it was not necessarily a bad read but definitely was not what I had anticipated when I bought the book! The cover of the book gave me the impression that it was along the lines of chick-lit and fun but in actuality it was more drama and gloomy. I guess the mantra of not judging a book by its cover is demonstrated true in this situation! The summary blurb on the back of the book gave me an impression of chick-lit fun too so maybe I was just making something out of nothing but this didn’t seem fun or light reading to me! The storyline and characters did not grab me and pull me into the story…it felt as if I was coming in mid-story rather than the characters and story building. The book was on the shorter side, which is probably while I was able to finish it without giving up.
  
• 
  Sarah

  I checked this out of the library on a whim. I'm not even sure what attracted me to it (naked baby in swimming pool? I have no idea). I don't know what I was expecting, but had a hunch that it might be interesting. And it actually was.
  It had more substance than I was expecting. It was super funny and fairly well written. Fun to read with an interesting concept that took me back to my crazy feminist college days. I still like the idea of pushing the limits of gender roles and giving a big middle finger to societal expectations, so I think that was why I related to that theme of the book.
  But all in all it was just a pleasant surprise and it made me snort out loud at least once.
• 
  Keri Murcray

  Very different book dealing with the idea of raising a gender neutral child. Fairly well-written and an engaging story, but ultimately a little out there for me. I kind of wish I had just borrowed this book from a library rather than buying it...but that's what happens when you buy books from the bargain shelves - you never know if what you get you'll love or hate, or something in between.
• 
  Lauren Bailey

  I loved this book. I very quickly found myself connected to Judy Glide, wondering who she was, what she wanted, and how she could have done things differently. I had a lot of empathy for her, because while I felt strongly in tune with her counter-culture daughter Gretchen, gay son Carson, and rebellious musician son Henry, I saw how Judy was a product of both her time and her geography. In the early years of her marriage, she in many ways was subservient to a husband (Rusty) who fully embraced the traditional role of head of household. As their children grew older and more resentful, and eventually estranged, Judy grew stronger in herself as she grew away from her marriage. I found how the news of Gretchen's pregnancy affected Judy fascinating, since it was difficult to pin down how Judy really felt about her own role as mother.
  I loved getting to ride along on the journey of the Glide family. The absurdity of the flamboyantly artistic Ray contrasted against Rusty's stereotypical middle-aged Midwestern suburbanite was joyful, especially with the added dose of the perfectly nice neighborhood retiree woodworker Donald, Rusty's best friend and confidante. Though the majority of the book centers on Judy's and Rusty's tenuous relationship with Gretchen, I was pleasantly surprised to meet all three children before book's end. And the end...left me feeling realistically hopeful. And I was glad for that.
• 
  Lisa Randell

  I was looking in my bookshelf for a quick read and this one fit the bill. I finished it in one day, actually in less than 5 hours, and that 5 hours included going to the grocery store, Starbucks, and eating dinner.
  Interesting story, I did skim through parts of it and may have given a slightly higher rating (maybe 3.5, not 4) if I’d read it more thoroughly. I’ll probably look for more books by this author.
• 
  Melissa Andrews

  Ok, this was definitely a book for a book club. Do children turn out "bad" because of bad parenting, or are they born that way? How far should you go to accommodate what others want? When does seeking to promote equality and fairness step over the line to lunacy? How does one prevent oneself from being smothered by a spouse? Does knowing the sex of your child affect the way you - the parents - and others will treat the child? Are boys and girls treated differently because they're boys and girls? Does it really matter? How far should parents go in trying to influence their children's lives?
  
  The Glides have three children that some would call dysfunctional - but they're the way they are probably because their home was dysfunctional. Depends on your interpretation of the story. Anyway, the daughter - Gretchen - is pregnant and has hooked up with a group of people who think it is absolutely important that you not let your child know anything about his/her sexual identity (i.e. whether s/he is a boy or girl) until s/he is about five or six. In addition, you shouldn't let others know the child's sex either because that will affect the way the child is treated. So, you have to give your child generic names (the two children in the book were called M16 and M64), and dress them in generic black clothes all the time. Don't give them toys to play with because you might be subconsciously telling them what you expect from boys and girls (i.e., girls play with Barbies, boys play with trucks). So have them play with shapeless, Nerf-like toys instead.
  
  I sound sarcastic, but at times, the book did raise some interesting points. It really makes one think about how one is treating and raising one's child, and what one will do if that child chooses to go down a path that's different to the one you have in mind.
  
  Hmmm...I think that was a pretty sex-less paragraph there. :-)
  
  I couldn't actually say I liked it. It was okay. I think we know the points that the book makes are true, but the way they were made were definitely outside my comfort zone. Hence the two stars, fair or not.
• 
  Melissa (Catch Up Mode)

  Rusty and Judy Gilde raised their three children in the best way they knew how, but despite all of their efforts, their children all remain estranged as adults. Henry dropped out of school and joined a rock band, Carson ran away and joined the Hare Krishnas, and Gretchen lives in a 'gender-neutral' community. One day, Rusty receives a phone call that turns everyone's world on end. Gretchen and her live-in boyfriend Ray are expecting a baby.
  
  Judy does what comes natural to her, she sends Gretchen her standard 'expectant mother' gift -booties in yellow, blue, and pink. Gretchen rolls her eyes and takes a stand: she and Ray are going to raise their baby in a genderless fashion. Only black and grey clothing, a neutral name, no gender-specific toys, and no one outside of Gretchen and Ray will know the child's sex for many years. Judy and Rusty are horrified, but decide that if they want to be involved with their grandchild, they need to learn to bend. Can people from two completely different outlooks find common ground?
  
  I wanted to like Maybe Baby. The conflicts and eventual resolution between Gretchen and her parents are fascinating with a decent message of learning to compromise, and appreciating the value of family. It's refreshing to see that no matter which end of the spectrum your parenting styles lie on, the child can be nurtured and loved. But though the novel's premise is interesting, much of the book falls flat. The two brothers seem to be included only to contrast their parents' rigidity - the brothers don't play a very large role in the story, although the parents' failings are hit on time and time again.
  
  The author's writing style is unique and fast paced, and she explores a subject many will find completely new and interesting. Maybe Baby is an odd book, and not for everyone. But if you enjoy stories that explore relationships and are a bit out of the ordinary, this may be to your taste.
• 
  Kim

  This was good reading but not my cup of tea. I did read it though and it was good enough to continue.
• 
  Apzmarshl

  A book about good intention and where it gets you.....
  
  Parents Judy and Rusty Glide have three grown children. #1 Henry runs off with a rock band never to be seen again. #2 Carson just runs off...after acting out on some very female feelings. #3 Gretchen goes away to college and ends up in women's studies. After years of estrangement she lets Judy and Rusty know that she is pregnant and has joined a gender neutral community where she will raise her child without the preconceived notions of gender. Basically the baby will wear black, no one except the parents will know the gender and it will play with sponge blobs so as not to be gender brain washed by gender specific toys.
  At first I didn't like any of the characters....really. But as I came to see them, especially Judy and Rusty morph into something loving, accepting, forgiving and full of life, I truly came to care for them. Still think the gender neutral thing was wacked.......but I did like the book.
• 
  Nicole

  I read this book in two days not because it was an exceptional book but because it flowed nicely and was quite funny. I would have liked more narration from the expectant mother than the grandmother but besides that I don't have any complaints. The book is about a young women who decides along with her spouse that she does not want her unborn baby to be defined by gender and therefore does not allow anyone in the family to buy gender related clothing, toys, or even know the sex of the baby when it is born. I do not agree with this way of thinking but related to dealing with her families reaction to her way of life.
• 
  Aaron

  As a new mother, I related to and enjoyed Gretchen and Judy's ponderings on pregnancy and motherhood. The Glide's story left me awash with various and conflicting emotions-- sadness for the deterioration of Judy and Rusty's marriage and the estranged relationships with the kiddos, curiosity at the gender- neutral lifestyle of Gretchen and Ray, thankfulness for my own happily tight-knit family, and many more. In this novel, characters were the hit. Tenaya created well-crafted and relatable characters that were easy to envision. Of all the characters, I would have to say that I found Judy to be the most complex and interesting.
• 
  Andrea

  My friend Jenny gave me this to read about 3 years ago and I finally picked it up. It's written by a woman who works (or worked, don't know if she still does) for The Isthmus here in Madison. It's set in a small town in Wisconsin, so I thought I'd relate on some level. It's a very quick and easy read and I enjoyed the characters--especially the parents and all their quirks. There are interesting thoughts about raising "gender neutral" children; although it was presented in an intentional community setting where everyone was hard-core.
• 
  Jenny

  A surprising little novel. I say surprising because I didn't expect the story to focus so much on the grandmother in the story -- I knew the tale was focused on the concept of a couple having a child and wanting to raise it gender-neutral. But it's not so much about that fact as it is about what happens when kids grow up and feel alien to their parents; how genetic links sometimes fail completely in binding us together and also in predicting the personalities of children who result from a given union. Worth a read for feminist/progressive types.
• 
  Chak

  I have had this book for years now (pre-publication galley copy mysteriously showed up on my bookshelf) and only recently decided to read it because I succumbed to cold and flu season. Well-drawn and quirky characters, an engaging story (raising a gender neutral child is something I have often thought about) and it being a quick read made it the perfect book for my occasion. This book would also be a great light reading for travel, vacation or escape/distraction.
• 
  Jen

  I really didn't enjoy the first 2/3 of this book, but trudged along, anyway. I'm glad I did, because it picked up quite well after that and ended nicely. I suppose the awkward, stilted beginning was deliberate- written that way to communicate to the reader how the characters felt about each other and the situation. I'm glad it improved and resolved.
• 
  Sue Kozlowski

  Weird! But good. Set in Wisconsin. Judy and Rusty don't see their kids. Gretchen and Ray have a baby. Want to raise the baby "gender neutral" - won't tell anyone the sex of it.
  
  P.S. - I love the cover photo!
  
• 
  Nikki

  Not great, just kind of strange.....
• 
  Konnie

  I had issues with this one...
• 
  Andrea

  This book was ok. Interesting idea but not carried out the best way.
  
  2009 Fall Challenge category: read a book and cook a meal.
• 
  Amy Shields

  Made me laugh out loud.
• 
  Kristine

  What a way to become a grandparent! I liked our way much better. If you need to feel better about your dysfunctional family, read this book.