Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love by Diana Kirschner

Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love Reviews

• 
  Bridget

  I never really had a problem finding guys. My problem was finding a good guy. Even though I am happily married, I still want to learn all that I can because I want this love to last forever. One thing that was difficult for me was learning to love myself. How can you expect someone to fall in love with you if you don't think that you are worthy of love? Understanding yourself is the key to learning what you want and need out of a relationship. This book is a great guide to loving yourself, your friends and a lover.
  
  The step-by-step instructions are easy to understand but aren't always easy to follow. The heart has different ideas than the brain and one thing you can take away from this book is knowing that the heart and the brain must reach a common ground before a relationship can blossom.
  
  I really liked this book because Diana talks to you like a friend. She doesn't make you feel stupid and she truly understands how important love is in life.
• 
  Sarah Sammis

  Love in 90 Days by Diana Kirschner is not a book I would have read or agreed to review if I had been asked. I am not part of her narrowly defined target audience. Except for the fact that I am female and was one upon a time briefly single I am not nor would ever have been interested in this book. Yet a publicist rather than risk taking "no" (I would have been polite about it) sent it to me unsolicited. Now I could have just given the book away or wild released it through BookCrossing but I would prefer to instead give one negative review amongst all the fawning praise this book has garnered (mostly from the press). I have a feeling there were many more unsolicited copies sent out to regular book blogs such as mine that have been quietly disposed of.
  
  Love in 90 Days has a catchy and promising title. Were it as inclusive of more kinds of romantic partnerships as Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson is, then the advice might actually be useful and credible. The problem I have with this book is it is designed solely for single heterosexual women who want to find the perfect hunk among all those eligible bachelors out there because of course that is the one true road to happiness! (Sorry guys of either sexual orientation or lesbians).
  
  Kirschner mentions studies that show married people are happier, healthier and more secure in their lives than their single counterparts. What she doesn't mention is that correlations do not equal cause and effect. Happy, healthy and secure people might be more likely to seek out or find relationships because they are happy, healthy and secure.
  
  The book offers advice on how to attract a man and includes things like how to make yourself pretty (gag), how to flirt with threatening men in public places (yikes!), how to do online dating and speed dating (how infomercially!) and finally the importance of dating three men at once to fine THE ONE. Oh yeah, and you had best be white, well educated and not too fat for this program to work. Otherwise you have to do extra credit for your problem areas (bletch).
  
  To wrap everything together in this 90 day program there are sets of affirmations and daily journal writing. These homework assignments. Because of course writing things like "I am a good person and I deserve love" x number of times a day will of course cure you of whatever funk you're in. Or you might actually be depressed!
  
  When I was briefly single I suddenly found myself being pursued by three men. One man clearly just wanted to get in my pants, one might have been okay but rubbed the wrong way and then there was the smart one who was a great conversationalist and a bit of a klutz. From my own limited experience, three is too many to handle at once. I felt so much better when I gave two of the three the heave-ho. I stuck with the klutz and later married him. We've been a couple now for almost 18 years.
  
  Now had this book existed 18 years ago and had I been foolish enough to read it, I probably would have gussied myself up and gone after the drop dead gorgeous player despite my better judgment. I would have ended up just another of the drunk floozies who hung out in his room until they dropped out of college with an std or two. See if you by the STUD or DUD test, Mr. player would have gotten higher points on the STUD test because he knew how to play the game (and he ran the dorm's bible study group).
• 
  Kimberly

  Now, in my Pantheon of relationship books, it might seem that I'm a cupid addict. I'm actually far from it. I consider it a challenge (not a curse) of someone always learning and searching for more information. I've read every type of relationship book (it seems) in a quest of knowledge and humor. But, I'm in on the joke. Every book says pretty much the same thing, yet slightly different.
  
  So, how does "Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love" shape up in the scheme of other books? Better than average, actually. In fact, the distinctive difference between this book and the other are the following:
  
  1. Kirschner highlights the counterproductive dating types that most women go for before they realize that they will never get the results they want (a relationship, marriage, commitment, etc)
  
  2. She advocates online dating and approaches it in a way that promotes dating as a "numbers game".
  
  3. Dating three men at once so you don't become obsessed with one man before he shows honest signs of commitment is also a key selling point for Kirschner.
  
  4. Her signs of a DUD vs a STUD are refreshing. However, what's really interesting is her inclusion of "a man that is willing to learn / grow spiritually and is emotionally in touch with himself" is distinctively different from other relationship books.
  
  5. Her specialty chapter 11, in which she speaks directly to those insecure about being Black and dating, Smart and dating, With kids, any other insecurity you could think of that your social group has stated that makes you "less than", shock me. I would recommend this book just for that.
  
  In short, in reading her book and practicing her techniques, can you really find love in 90 days? Sure. Would I recommend this book to read? Yes. Why? The text is approachable and friendly. Kirschner does not assault the assumed female reader with harsh demands on looks and how to conform yourself to a stereotypical light that "Men" want. In fact, her Diamond Self section is rather enjoyable in that is pushes you to cultivate your own inner beauty spark.
  
  So, read it. It can't hurt - only help and heal.
  
  *Note, the social group / love mentor / support area that she says is available on her website is no longer there.
  
  
• 
  Jaye

  I typically don't pay titles like this any mind but I'm actually glad I picked this one up. It's very detailed and insightful. It's almost like therapy in a book. I would have to say that Dr. Diana is a very skilled professional and has many good suggestions on ways a woman can change negative patterns and beliefs.
  
  The only thing I didn't like was the part where she said that a woman should go on roller coaster rides (I could be misquoting) or anything that gets your adrenaline pumping to make yourself "fall" for a man that's not your "type." I feel like this: if I have to jump through hoops to make myself attracted to or fall in love with a man, guess what-I don't love him. There's nothing there and I'm not going to turn all kinds of tricks to make myself like him.
  
  That aside. I really enjoyed the book! It was eye-opening. I could see patterns in myself and others as well. Being a writer, understanding behaviors and motivations is important in order to create believable characters. Great job, Dr. Diana!
• 
  Mie

  It is very practical and if you really try all of these, I am sure you can get a boyfriend within 90 days,,,,but the truth is it is really hard to keep dating three men at the same time. Maybe we can have a casual date but once we are in love and the relationships turn into serious one, I feel not everybody can manage having three guys at the same time. I feel it's a bit insincere. But I am sure this is very useful book.
• 
  Lisa J Shultz

  This book is well written with good strategies, but I think it can take more than 90 days to find the love of your life. If you drop everything and do all the exercises and date like crazy, 90 days might work, but for the average person, it might be a bit longer. I have recommended the book to many girl friends.
• 
  Samantha

  This book worked for me. After the death of a loved one I wasn't sure if I was even ready for a serious relationship yet, but I met (reconnected with an old acquaintance actually) the guy who I'm going to marry while reading this book. It's all about taking care of yourself and how to find someone who is crazy about you and treats you well.
• 
  Holly Bluemlein

  If you are single and don't want to be READ THIS BOOK!!! I have read a lot of relationship books and this one is hands down the best one. I recommend it to all of my friends and give it the bulk of credit for the fact that I'm happily married now.
• 
  Azure

  Helpful, but much more so because I went to the website and found a Love Mentor to coach me through it.
• 
  Dan Stern

  It gave me a way better insight on how to perceive and judge guys, as well as myself! The description of our "deadly dating habits" were brilliant and right on! And it had a really good chapter with advice on how to be in a relationship/marriage which I reread after me and my boyfriend were together for a year or so. So yes! Shortly after reading this I hooked up with my now boyfriend of 4 years! ;) After 6-10 years of being chronically single! Now granted it wasn't just this... at the time I was changing my career and doing the book/course Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and was really growing and developing myself in amazing ways. But I'd been hanging with my boyfriend who was just a friend at the time and I was thinking I might be interested in him but wasn't sure. Then had met another guy I was intensely attracted to and was so confused I needed advice and grabbed this book coz I'd been eyeing it for a while. Well needless to say it worked! I totally recommend it! :) Obviously no guarantees it'll work for you but it's really worth giving it a try! :)
• 
  Nicole DiCristofaro

  As someone who was single at 38 and totally not prepared for how different it would be compared to my 20s, I definitely struggled! This book provides so much insight into what holds many women (and men) back in their love lives. The best part is understanding your Deadly Dating Patterns - I have at least 3 of them! Knowledge is key and this book is a gift I always give or recommend to single friends. Her background as a psychologist and experience working with single and married people is invaluable. She knows her stuff!
• 
  Kate Forest

  As a therapist, I can’t recommend this book enough. Dr. Diana has taken the latest research and best therapeutic practices and made them accessible for everyone. The exercises and advice are easy to follow. But more importantly, this book changes your outlook on romantic relationships. It gives a roadmap on how to find the relationship you need and how to avoid the ones that have been harmful.
• 
  Anna Glezina

  Do NOT read this book if you are constantly and easily offended by everything.
  Do read this book if you are looking for a serious relationship and feel like you need to troubleshoot your mind to be more successful.
  This book seemed to be obvious to me, but I am in a happy committed relationship. I think many others can benefit from reading it big times.
• 
  Caroline Bradley

  I'm not entirely sure what she advocates is practical. I'd love to go on just one date, let alone 3 in a week, but the self-view information is definitely spot on and helpful.
• 
  Susan Csoke

  The dating world has exploded, this is the age of abundant Love and Diana has given the reader a fabulous guide and understanding to finding true love. Thankyou Goodreads for this free book!!!!
• 
  Jennifer L.

  I receieved this book from a giveaway on a blog I follow. I was quite excited to have won this.
  
  I'm not the best when it comes to dating or relationships, and being single, never married and no date since 2001 might be a testimony to that fact.
  
  Obviously I haven't had 90 days since receiving this book to try out the things she recommends. In fact, I'm not sure I'm "on the market" yet for a few months, want to get a few things completed in my life first, so it may be a little while before I actually start putting some of these things into practice.
  
  I never thought of marketing myself, which is basically what this book recommends. I am already more aware of who is around me, what I'm wearng when I run just to the store, etc.
  
  This book also dispells the fears of online dating. I did join one major site a few years ago and didn't have any luck, including getting a notice saying that someone had contacted me they had kicked off the site and have no more contact with that man! Wow! What an intro to online dating! So after my month was up I decided to delete my account.
  
  I'm curious to see where I am in a year with my adventure!