| Title | : | Holidays on Ice |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0316191299 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780316191296 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 176 |
| Publication | : | First published December 1, 1997 |
Holidays on Ice Reviews
-
I feel weird reviewing this book right now because the honest truth is: I really genuinely did not like it. And yet I’ve been called out recently by a bunch of helpful strangers on Goodreads for not liking their favorite books—
this asshole telling me I should avoid all literary fiction,
this one here saying that my problem is with fiction in general—and I fear I’m going to develop a reputation for hating books, and then Otis will kick me off Goodreads and all the mean girls in the Feedback Group will cheer and the only people who will care are the one hundred sixty-four people in my friends list, but then a huge chunk of those people are real-life friends who have only ever logged into Goodreads once, so in the end there are about five people who will care. Maybe six.
And that’s not to mention some of these other pressing fears a reviewer has to deal with: what if I rate too many books lowly (will people think I’m just trying to stir the pot and call negative attention to myself?), or what if I rate too many books highly (will people think I’m indiscriminate about which books are my favorites and therefore consider me unreliable?). I suppose there’s also the potential for too many mediocre reviews, and I guess that’s the guy whom everybody thinks can’t make up his freaking mind.
In the end, I’m going to just opt for honesty. I disliked this David Sedaris book. I have never read a David Sedaris book before but I understand him to be a very popular comedian and I usually enjoy very popular comedians. Except this book isn’t funny. The initial story around which the entire collection is based, “SantaLand Diaries,” is about Sedaris’s stint as a Christmas elf at a Macy’s department store. The observations of his boss, of the other elves, of parents and children waiting to see Santa, and of the other shoppers are pretty standard fare—there is nothing particularly noteworthy about his comments that made me laugh or even raise an eyebrow in amusement. Of his other stories, there is really only one that is mildly memorable; the rest rely heavily on shock value which is not something that can successfully stand on its own in my opinion. Having said that, I don’t know that I will give up on Sedaris altogether. This book seems sort of thrown together, most of the stories not relating to anything in particular, whether to each other or to any unified theme, but I would expect some of his other collections to have better focus, and I will retain his other books in my “to read” list based on that expectation. -
To the tune of “Frosty the Snowman”
Da-vid Se-daris
Was a writer oh-so-droll
With a quirky style and take on life
That will put you on the floor.
Da-vid Se-daris
Writes the weirdest stuff you’ll see
About the Christmas whore and the Macy’s elves
And deathly children’s pageantry.
There must have been some crazy
In the Sedaris family tree
‘Cause David ain’t the only one
Have you seen his sister Amy?
Oh! Da-vid Se-daris!
Can your stories all be true?
It matters not when you write as hot
As in Holidays on Ice! -
After reading the first short story, I thought this was going to be a delightful book. "SantaLand Diaries," after all, had me rolling down the isle of the plane on which I was reading it... Okay, I was just giggling constantly with frequent bursts of loud laugher interspersed. No rolling, but still very humiliating on the whole. At any rate, I came home in a dither to read the other stories as well. Ugh. Appalling. Not a single chuckle among them. Worse, they were gross, often offensive (and I don't get offended!), and even horrific at times. It was beyond black humor, to just being black... dark, dismal, disgusting. No humor there. I was most sincerely disappointed.
The only other story that had even the slightest bit of resonance was "Dinah, The Christmas Whore," and that was likely because it was also written from a personal experience. Sedaris, in this girl's opinion, should stay very far away from writing fiction. Can you say "smug?" That's what I kept feeling about the author when suffering through the fiction stories. I gave this two stars only for "Santaland Diaries" - otherwise it'd be a solid one (for lack of a worse ranking). -
2.5 to 3 stars - rounded up to 3 on the official rating to give Sedaris the benefit of the doubt.
I did not enjoy this quite as much as previous Sedaris titles I have read. While it contained the cynicism I have come to expect from him, it seemed to overpower the humor a lot more than usual. So, instead of being amused, I was left feeling uncomfortable.
Also, since this is a much shorter compilation of holiday related stories, it did not have the full satisfaction of one of his full length books with all original material. (Note: I say "holiday related" in the previous sentence, but there is one story in here about cadavers that I was not quite sure how it related to holidays).
If you are a die hard Sedaris fan, check it out. If you are just starting with Sedaris, there are much better places to begin. (
When You Are Engulfed in Flames,
Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls,
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim) -
In case you aren't aware . . . .
Yep. My Christmas situation has escalated to the point where every year when the clocks strikes 12:01 on November 1st I channel my inner Linda Belcher and am ready to get myfreaktree-trim on. Along with the dragging, carrying, yanking, pulling, swearing and crying that goes with getting my hoard from the basement to the various areas of my house also comes the annual re-listen to my Darling David telling me tales of Christmases past. The opinions written in my original review below still stand, but I can't imagine a time when I won't have this on audio while I decorate . . . .
ORIGINAL REVIEW:
If you follow my reading, you’re probably wondering what the hell could have happened to make me rate a Sedaris selection less than every Star. Well, lemma tell ya.
Although I was aware that this is a collection of items pulled from other Sedaris books, many may not so it will appear to be a money grab . . . which it totally is. I don’t really care, though, since (1) I got it from the library so it cost me zero dollars and (2) David Sedaris could take a dump on paper, bind it up, and I’d still buy a copy so I could really give a rip whether this was material I was already familiar with.
I put a hold on the audio version of Holidays On Ice in order to hopefully keep me in the Christmas spirit. You see, usually around the week before Thanksgiving I look a little something like this . . . . .
I want to put Christmas trees in every room of the house and bake and place myself firmly on The Good List. But then December rolls around and I am faced with the daunting task of shopping combined with the busiest time of year at work and I completely lose my mojo and just want to hibernate until the new year. I thought listening to David would at least help me fake it ‘til I make it à la Clark Griswold . . . .
And for the most part it did. David’s tales of his experiences as a “Little Elf” in the “Santaland Diaries” are not to be missed, and the ever present “Six to Eight Black Men” never gets less funny. The problem this time was the inclusion of some fictional shorts in addition to the riotous autobiographical entries. To be fair, even some of them started out funny. Sadly, it seems David doesn’t know when to stop when it comes to fictional works and takes the joke to the point of it being the literary equivalent of a beaten dead horse. Still, those “meh” selections can easily be skipped so you can get to the real gems like those mentioned above, or another favorite of mine: Jesus Shaves. You can read that essay for free
HERE or take a listen/look
HERE. -
Holidays on Ice puts David Sedaris on ice by breaking up this book into fiction and non-fiction. Sedaris riffing on real life is where it's at. His fictional short stories often include his sarcastic wit, but lack the personal connection of his diary-style work. Herein you get a mishmash of holiday-based anecdotes and stories. His "Santa Land Diaries" made him a household name. Then there are also a few selections that rope in his oddball family. Those are my favorites, and I would guess the favorite of many another, since Sedaris would put out book after book based on this kind of material for the next two decades.
The elven-voiced man is best listened to rather than read, in my opinion. I always go with audiobooks narrated by himself, because he adds the oh-so-necessary inflection, as well as some humorous renditions of his family members and, one of my favorites, Billie Holiday doing Christmas and commercial jingles. But here too is an issue. Some of these shorts are not read by him, but rather by guest narrators. That's like casting Rip Torn as the evil-yet-somehow-handsome villain in your movie...
...and then replacing him with Rip Taylor, because you thought it would liven things up.
Go take a listen to Me Talk Pretty One Day, Dress Your Family Up in Corduroy and Denim or When You Are Engulfed In Flames. They're non-fiction (well...with a bit of hyperbole thrown in for fun) pieces about his life and they are comedy gold. -
I didn't find this audiobook engaging or funny. I kept listening hoping it would get better (and it's short). Perhaps he's just not the author for me with the exception of last year's
Calypso, a book that I found excellent, especially on audio. -
*** 3.75 ***
A collection of short stories on different holiday themes. Not really about the holidays, but observations of life around the holidays.
After a somewhat rough start, I found the first story the weakest in the bunch, the second had a bit more to offer, the next were what I have grown to expect from this author. David Sedaris has never been a riotous comedian. He is an acquired taste and his humor has to do with the observations of regular people and their everyday lives, with quite a bit of morbid fascination with tragedy and the absurd ways our brains choose to deal with it as safety mechanisms.
One of the things that I was surprised how much it bothered me, was the use of the word "retarded". I know that at the time this was written, it was in regular use of everyone's vernacular, but I guess I have come to enjoy it being mostly in our past, because it definitely startled me... In the 90's, I remember it being well used in all types of circumstances, particularly on the East Coast, and proudly, but I am glad it's use has tapered down significantly...
Best stories, in my opinion, were the grade school theater reviews, and the "prostitute" friend 😃😃😃👍 I got a great laugh from the Traditions of Christmas celebrations too😎. -
I listened to this in audiobook format, narrated by Sedaris, as usual. The Santaland Diaries, the first set of vignettes, was quite long and hilarious. Unfortunately, I didn't find any of the other vignettes funny at all.
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Just the kind of book to get me into the spirit of Christmas (no sarcasm intended).
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Beware. This is a slapped together collection, packaged with a thin holiday theme. The SantaLand diaries are hilarious, the others range from awful to mediocre. There is no reason to read this book as SantaLand is found elsewhere. Thank goodness I still have a few of Sedaris' "legitimate" books to read.
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Annual #reread. It just isn’t Christmas until I’ve revisited “Santaland Diaries,” “Six to Eight Black Men,” and everything between. I never tire of Sedaris.
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I always get David Sedaris and Dave Eggers confused for some reason. Until now, I've never read anything by either of them, but I can't remember who it is that everyone seems to hate. Sedaris? Eggers? Both? I had planned to read this a year ago, but forgot I had it. I thought I'd better read it now during the holidays so I wouldn't have to wait another year to get to it--I can never watch Christmas movies or read holiday stories when it's not Christmas; it's depressing.
Anyway, this was a perfect little book to read during all the holiday chaos while suffering from a near-mental breakdown. (Mental breakdown caused by the mom freakout that happens every once in awhile when you realize there are actual lives depending on you, and you don't even know how that happened, or have a fucking clue what you're doing, and are scared someone is going to find you out, and are a little puzzled that they haven't already, and you just go to bed to cry into your pillow. You know, that old chestnut.) It's a quick read, funny, and made me feel a little better knowing that I at least don't have to make a living handing out leaflets dressed in a taco costume. Working as a Christmas Elf would be kind of fun, though. Well, just for like a day. The first story was my favorite, and I was grateful for the laughs instead of the above-stated tears. There's a blurb for ya.
"A great alternative to sobbing yourself to sleep!"
-J. Soutas, author of this really bad, whiny review
So really, thank youDave EggersDavid Sedaris, I like you.
-
In 2004 I was in a relationship where partner and I had very different ideas of what the holidays should look like. He's all about family and one-up-manship in the category of who brought the most unique/popular gift and who created the best dish for the potluck end of the Christmas meal.
Me, I'd rather vacate. So I packed up the dog this one year and drove to a secret get-away for Christmas alone. (Think "ahhh," not "awww") His gift to me was this book on CD, which I listened to during the 3 hour drive to my holiday sanctuary. I laughed so hard that I have to say, this was among my BEST holidays EVER.
Now it's a tradition for me. Long road trip over Christmas to the get-away destination and Holidays On Ice in the CD player. -
My mother was a little crazy.
She saw people looking through our windows, heard them whispering under our porch, spotted private family conversations in the newspaper, unexpectedly screamed profanity at people who looked suspicious (sometimes while we were in a restaurant or some other very public location), and thought the writing on trucks and other vehicles that passed us on the road were coded messages just for her. … It was a bit creepy.
My father didn’t help. Rather than acknowledging my mother was crazy (she had paranoid schizophrenia, which I didn’t know until my late teens), he said she was “nervous.” This verdict suggested her visions were normal, and to my young mind, validated the notion that there were indeed people peeking into the house. It made me rather skittish.
However, as a bright side to my mother’s fickle mental state, she was brilliant and often savagely funny when lucid. Form letters—letters sent at Christmas generally boasting of a family’s all-around success and wholesomeness—were targets of particular glee. My mother would read these saccharine missives with just the right amount of over-the-top chirpiness, and then would compose her own, much darker, Christmas form letter about our family. For example, “Last summer, mother was institutionalized again at Grover’s Sanitarium. It is a lovely tree-lined facility, and who can forget the shock treatments!? Whee!!!” We had a highly evolved sense of humor. However, even in her darkest moments, I doubt my mother could have matched David Sedaris’ send-up of form letters in his essay, “Season’s Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!!!”
Humor has always been about pushing the envelope. How far can you stretch humor before it tips over the edge and becomes disturbing? There’s no clear answer. I had a friend once comment vigorously, “You think the movie Fargo is funny? That’s not a funny movie!” Well sorry. I think it is. But humor is also deeply idiosyncratic. In Sedaris’s mock form letter, and this is not much of a spoiler given that you know something truly amiss is going on with the Dunbar family early on, the baby grandson is found—lifeless—in the dryer, having died while in the washing machine (but mercifully and most certainly, our letter writer assures us, before the spin cycle)… It’s not an essay that would appeal to everyone.
I doubt few would debate the humor of Sedaris’ classic “Santaland Diaries” or “Jesus Shaves,” which also appears in his collection Me Speak Pretty One Day. Yesterday, I was trying to describe and then read a couple of short excerpts from the latter essay, when I found a YouTube clip of Sedaris reading the essay. Humor is wickedly difficult to write; you’re confined to prose to convey the pacing and intonation comedy requires. And then there’s Sedaris’ voice, slightly nasal, droll, and deliciously snarky. When my husband heard the essay, read by Sedaris, he laughed so hard he had tears running down his cheeks.
“The Cow and the Turkey” is another wonderfully funny essay, slightly reminiscent of James Thurber’s wild fables. There’s no way to convey its humor adequately. Just think of a barnyard, the problems being a Secret Santa might pose for the animals, and a very sinister cow. My mother was that cow, and yes, Moira, I know this has Faulknerian echoes:
“My mother is a fish.”
-
There were only three stories in this collection that I didn't absolutely despise; Santaland Diaries, Dinah the Christmas Whore, and 6 to 8 Black Men were the only ones that were even remotely funny. The rest I honestly wish I had never read. I'd suggest reading these in the store or borrowing the book from the library if you really want to read it. Don't waste your money on this collection, especially the hardcover version, unless you really want to spend money on stories about a baby killed in a washing machine, a husband and wife giving away their two 10 year-old sons to a homeless man to one-up their neighbor by being the most charitable, and eyeballs kept in baby food jars.
I think Sedaris thought he was being clever with these stories but really they were just sad and unfunny. -
This is the first David Sedaris for me. I understand that these stories have previously been published except for one, so I can see how that would be disappointing for those who wanted more original stories to read. I listened to this which was a great idea since Sedaris reads the stories himself. The best story for me was Santaland Diaries. Such a fun and hilarious story of his experiences and observations working as an elf at Macy’s. The other stories we’re a mixed bag of fiction and not all having to do with Christmas. Many of the rest were dark humor and not for some who might easily be offended. It’s humor and some of it shock worthy. You’ll know what I mean if you read or listen to this.
-
Maybe I’m just suffering from Christmas fatigue, but I just don’t find this very funny. The first story about Sedaris’ time as a Christmas elf at Macy’s is mildly funny.
One nice thing is that the paperback version I have is small, approximately 5 x 7” and will fit nicely in an adult’s Christmas stocking. Elves believe in recycling. -
So it might be a little cruel of me to review a book about Christmas when Christmas is off most of our radars, but, hey, there's still snow on the ground where I live so I'm allowing myself this review.
Like most people, I have often laughed at the strange humor David Sedaris illuminates in his past books, Naked being the funniest, IMO. When I was given a copy of HOLIDAYS ON ICE I knew what I was about to get into, so it sat on my shelves for a few months. On a whim, I plucked it from the mass of unread books of mine and flipped to the front page. There was an inscription: For Lindsay in Japan, Christmas 2000 Love, Mom and Dad. For some reason I found this hilarious. I guess I never saw HOLIDAYS ON ICE as a book to give someone for Christmas; it is the type of book that is better gotten at a used bookstore or through a Secret Santa that is the workplace scrooge. Giving this to a loved one thousands of miles away struck a chord with me.
I proceeded to read The SantaLand Diaries and almost fell off my chair a few times because I was laughing so hard. Water came out my nose once. I think we've all been in a situation during the holidays were we needed some extra cash. I've had the pleasure of working three or four holiday jobs, mostly at warehouses or with UPS. I've never thought about becoming one of the unlucky ones to actually work as a department store Santa or as one of his minions. And after reading this humorous essay, I am inclined to say that I am going to push this opportunity onto my children when they come of age. Not because I don't love them, I do. I just want them to experience what it is like to work this type of job.
The other really good essay is Season's Greetings to Our Friends and Family!!! Sedaris nails the parody of Christmas newsletters perfectly. I would love to receive a letter like this one. Instead, I will most likely continue to receive the banal information of my friends and family: Little Billy is doing this; we redecorated our pantry; Joe sure likes college. I want something more. I want: Helen has finally beaten her meth addiction; Gary finally decided to start paying that overdue child support. I want real life. I want the details of what the year was really like. If I wanted Hallmark, I’d buy a card.
Sure these essays and stories are misanthropic and sometimes course, filled with crude humor and bleak holiday cheer, but they are funny. And funny is never out of season.
Oh, by the way, Lindsay, who was in Japan in 2000, if you’re on GR, Merry Christmas!
RECOMMENDED -
I'm afraid my book-selection privileges will be revoked by my book club for choosing this one.
I enjoy David Sedaris, in part because of his constant vigilance for finding the worst in people. Exploring the darker side of man makes for funny personal essays.
But when he turns to fiction, he has absolute creative control over his subjects. Instead of reporting on someone's shortcomings, he's inventing them. Perhaps this power is too much - he can't seem to help but create the worst imaginable scenario. He has some funny premises, like a fake holiday letter and a game of benevolent brinksmanship between wealthy neighbors. But each of his "fiction" stories devolves from amusing and odd to troubling and grotesque.
My advice is to pick this book up at a book store or library and read this first piece, Santaland Diaries, about his time as an elf at Macy's. That's classic Sedaris and worth reading. Then put it back on the shelf and walk away - the rest is not worth it. -
Okay. Let it be said: "Santaland Diaries," the first essay of this book, is wonderful. But the rest of the book is basically filler; this was before Sedaris found his niche (humor essayist), and it really shows. He should never, ever write fiction, for example, and yet he tries to here. The results are not pretty, or even very readable.
It's also notable that half of the pieces in this short book have appeared in other collections of his. So, really, this is not worth buying; get "Santaland Diaries" some other way, and regret nothing about missing the rest of this collection. -
I guess my funny bone is broken or I'm not drunk enough, because after the first story I could not hardly stomach the rest of the stories. My first one star rating. If you are looking for a dark Christmas comedy, "The Stupidest Angel", was in my opinion, head and shoulders better than this mess.
-
Holidays on Ice is great right down to the cover which features an alcoholic beverage with ice in in it (adorable and much like my family's holidays). It features Christmas themed stories some his holiday experiences, others just featuring his talent as a writer. Santa land Diaries is the first essay and it is the star of this show. These are journal entries from when David at the age of 33 worked as an elf at Macy's Santaland...at the age of 33.
It chronicles the insane parents, the unfortunate children, an interesting and multi-cultural array of Santa's and the policies Macy's enforces with regard to Santaland. There is so much gold here it is unreal, a Santa who never breaks character ( he is called Santa Santa) there is a gay elf (snowball) who leads all the other gay elves and a Santa on, there is a designated corner for children to vomit in, I could go on.
One of my fav bits
"The back hallway was jammed with people. There was a line for Santa and a line for the women's bathroom, and one woman, after asking me a thousand questions already asked, which is the line for the women's bathroom? And I shouted that I thought it was the line with all the women in it. And she said, I'm going to have you fired. I had two people say that to me today, I'm going to have you fired. Go ahead, be my guest.
I'm wearing a green velvet costume. It doesn't get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are? I'm going to have you fired, and I want to lean over, and say I'm going to have you killed."
Isn't he great!
If you don't love Sedaris you may not enjoy the rest of the collection Santaland by far outshines the rest.
I listen to the audio version which features Sedaris himself reading, I enjoy listening to him so much more then reading it,he brings that extra something.
At one point in Santaland Diaries "Santa" Santa demands that David sing "Away in A Manger" at first David claims not to know but when pushed by "Santa" Santa he decides to sing it as Billie Holliday would have sung it, then we are treated to this rendition which causes my dog EverlyBrothers to start howling as if he was singing with him,
it was like in 101 Dalmations when they used the friggen Twilight Bark for trying to find the puppies,anyway I found this made it even funnier, my neighbors maybe not. But I think David Sedaris would have got a chuckle from it. -
A short audio compilation of stories published elsewhere and some odd fiction. Just okay for me. Two were brilliant,but I’ve already heard them. So, it’s a no.
-
A collection of humorous short stories. Years ago I saw someone perform a one-man show of Santaland Diaries and I howled with laughter. I wanted to read this for that story. It's a brilliant and funny story. Sedaris seems very Jaded. I found another story that had me coughing up a lung in my car with laughter Six to Eight Black men. That story was too much. He recounts how other countries describe their idea of Santa and the Netherlands takes the cake. He also goes into hunting laws and how the state of Michigan will give a hunting license to a blind man. I was rolling in the car and had to pull over.
The rest of the stories in the collection have some funny moments or humorous moments. Some of them were ok and some weren't too good. But the two stories above are enough for me to give this uproariously funny book 5 stars. I wanted to laugh and it gave me my laugh. The fluff in the middle can be read or skipped.
The stories:
1 SantaLand Diaries
Us and Them
Jesus Shaves
Let It Snow
Seasons Greetings to our friends and family
Dinah, the Christmas Whore
Front Row Center with Thaddeus Bristoll
Based on a True Story
Christmas Means Giving
Six to Eight Black Men
The Monster Mash
Cow and Turkey
I do have to say that I was amused by 'Front Row Center...' How absurd for a real musical critic to use that critical eye against 6 year olds. It makes you think about critics and how they are ridiculous doing that to their peers. It's interesting. What do I really have to say in my reviews? Interesting right?
I had fun with this and I might just have to read it again next Christmas. -
This is a reread for me, although this version has a few more new stories.
Sedaris's version of the holidays is a comfort in a world saturated with sentimentality during Christmas. He pushes the limits, and hearing it in his voice is the way to go.
"The Santaland Diaries" feels like the greatest classic, about being a seasonal Macy's elf.
"Six to Eight Black Men" was my favorite this time around, about how Christmas traditions are different in Holland, and how political correctness tends to alter those traditions over time (necessarily, I'd add, yikes!)
This audiobook also includes one story recorded live, and that's the best experience. Stories are fine with perfectly produced rounded music intros, but it is the audience that really provides the energy. -
Новогодние истории для читателей широких взглядов: хочешь, жуткий абсурд, хочешь — семейные посиделки в обществе проститутки, хочешь — травелог и размышления, что это за little helpers у этого дрянного Санты.
Выражение Ho, ho, ho, цитируя автора, заиграло новыми красками. -
This is my first David Sedaris, and it won't be my last. He's been recommended to me on the fringes for a while, but I finally took the plunge after someone compared him to Shirley Jackson, a favorite of mine. The comparisons are accurate. A good bit of humor with some very dark turns sprinkled with subtle social commentary define this collection of both fiction and non-fiction shorts. Yet, something about it just didn't work for me. I loved the opening story, SantaLand, as well as the one about getting locked out of the house on a winter day by their mother. Both nonfiction, and generally I found the nonfiction better in this one. As for the fiction stories, well, it seemed Sedaris isn't sure when to end a joke. I don't mind a good dark turn, but to tack one onto the end unnecessarily after the overall point has already been made is more manipulation by shock value rather than good writing. This collection intrigued me enough to want to read more even if I didn't love it.
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"SantaLand Diaries" is my favorite Sedaris story, bar none. And it's perfect for this time of year! Ah, refreshing cynicism.
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Not Sedaris’ best.
