Fraternity: An Inside Look at a Year of College Boys Becoming Men by Alexandra Robbins

Fraternity: An Inside Look at a Year of College Boys Becoming Men Reviews

• 
  Kelly

  Robbins does some of my favorite nonfiction: it's narrative and investigative, digging into big topics on a micro and macro level. What I really appreciated about FRATERNITY was seeing both sides of the coin when it comes to (white, male) Greek life. We see why it's appealing through two Fraternity members in different schools and Fraternities; we also see first-hand why it's not appealing through those same two boys, and for very very different reasons. Rather than pull the narrative a specific way, Robbins allows all of the story to flow from their perspective, and she weaves together the nuances and considerations outside of their experiences. This isn't cherry picking. It's thoughtful analysis and critique.
  
  More, I loved the way this dove into toxic masculinity and about the struggle for (white, male) young adults to fit in and become something they see in the media. Robbins is smart to highlight race here, too, pointing out the ways that Greek life is very white and very straight and what that does or doesn't say about masculinity and our culture as well.
  
  If you loved PLEDGED, you'll love this one. It's neat to also think of this in conjunction with SECRETS OF THE TOMB: SKULL AND BONES and the story of power, of secret societies, and the ivy league here, too. Excellent crossover appeal for teen readers. Resources in the final chapter highlight ways to navigate Greek life and ferret out the good from the bad -- if such a dichotomy is even appropriate.
• 
  Wendy

  Fraternity: An Inside Look at a Year of College Boys Becoming Men, by Alexandra Robbins, is an eye-opening, insightful investigation into the secrets and life in a fraternity.
  The author takes us on the journey of two young men (Jake and Oliver) in the "Greek" life. The readers are exposed to the positive and negative life-changing experiences they endured.
  This book is less about the "what" than the "why" of fraternities. Parents of high schoolers need to understand more about the lifestyle so that they can help their children decide where to apply to college and whether to go "Greek". Financial, physical, emotional, academic and safety aspects of fraternity memberships need to be considered so that the parents and students choose wisely.
  Extremely informative advice and tips are offered making this book a very helpful tool that is long overdo and well worth the read.
  
  Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Dutton for an arc of this book in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Alexandra Robbins

  All right, I've seen others review their books, so I guess I will too, in a way. This book is important because we need to pay more attention to teenage boys. It's not right to lump them all into the same stereotypical category simply because of their gender. The headlines don't represent the scores of GOOD guys who are teens, who are in college, and who happen to be in fraternities. And the way to change a subculture isn't to dismiss all of its members, but, rather, to try to understand their perspectives and to recognize that most people are good people who want to do good works. I wrote this book to give boys that voice, and to provide parents and students - of both genders - with a discussion tool so they can have a safer experience at school and on their own for the first time. Discussing the issues in Jake's and Oliver's stories is an easier, less awkward way for parents and students to talk about important issues like drinking, sex, friendships, identity, and partying. I hope that families find this book helpful and that other readers come to see America's teen guys in a more balanced light.
• 
  Serenity (The Story Girl)

  Alexandra Robbins is one of my favorite non-fiction authors and journalists, so I was so excited to read her next book and get an inside look at what fraternities are really like. Throughout the book, we get to follow Jake, who is a "freshman searching for brotherhood," and not your typical frat boy. He was an overachiever in high school whose idea of a good time on a Friday night was going to the movies and not really into drinking. He really only decides to rush because his dad was in a fraternity. Over the course of the year, we see him go through the highs and lows of rushing, pledging, hazing, wanting to give up, and the mindset that he has throughout all this. We also get to follow Oliver, who is a chapter president who has to deal with trying to keep his fraternity afloat after facing so many citations by police officers. Robbins chose these two because "they represent students missing from the media and contemporary literature: smart, goodhearted, self-aware, earnest fraternity members whom readers would root for."
  
  Despite it being non-fiction, she writes in such a narrative way that keeps you hooked and wondering what will happen next. Along with that, each chapter has insightful academic discussions addressing all the stereotypes about fraternities. She doesn't sugarcoat anything and lays out all the facts, from the toxic nature of some fraternities to why fraternities are so successful even today, and why they are such a distinctly American concept. But one of my favorite parts was the fascinating social history of how fraternities began in America, then dwindled, then rose again (in large part to the picture of college life portrayed in the movie Animal House, and then to alcohol companies' advertisements). And when the drinking age was increased to 21, that didn't help matters any because now instead of students drinking at bars, they moved to private places like fraternity houses, who now controlled the scene, and by the 1990s, 86% of fraternity brothers became binge drinkers.
  
  Overall, I really enjoyed this book and it gave me a lot to think about besides simply the stereotypes that you read about in the news. Don't get me wrong, there are still so many racist fraternity chapters out there, but there are some good inclusionary ones too, and she highlights them both. And I am already looking forward to what Alexandra Robbins writes next!
  
  Thank you to the publisher for providing me a copy to read in exchange for an honest review.
• 
  Kelli

  Thank you for the advance copy. I enjoyed reading and learning about the fraternity system through the eyes of two young men, one who belongs to what seems to be a stereotypical fraternity and the other who creates a much more positive experience as president of his frat. All aspects of frat life are covered and everything from good to bad is discussed. No issue is left unaddressed. This would be a helpful book for parents of young men who want to join fraternities.
• 
  Jill

  Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy.
  
  I am a huge fan of Alexandra Robbins' books, with "Pledged" being my absolute favorite. So when I heard she was writing a book about fraternities, I was so excited.
  
  One of my favorite things about Robbins' books is the way she goes back and forth between the research she has uncovered about her chosen topic and her subjects. With "Fraternity" it's two men, one who has just started college and is looking into joining the Greek system and one who is Chapter President and the issues and obstacles that come with the position. Robbins takes us behind the scenes of fraternity life while following the two men over the course of a year. As always, her writing and storytelling is wonderful and research insightful. Along with the two men she follows, the book is full of quotes and stories from other men in fraternities from all over. I could not put this book down.
• 
  Suzanne

  My feeling as I wrapped up reading "Fraternity" was sadness. Seeing how one of the teenagers the book follows (Jake) was so influenced by his fraternity to become--in my opinion--a person who lost some of his moral code and personality kind of broke my heart.
  
  As a mom of two teenage boys who will be heading to college in the coming years, I wanted to find out more about fraternities, beyond the stories we read in the news. "Fraternity" helped me get a first-hand account of pledging, hazing, and parties but it also followed one fraternity leader as he worked to create a different kind of brotherhood that is more about supporting each other in a positive way.
  
  Ultimately, I'm reminded that you really do need to pick your friends wisely and that a man is known by the company he keeps.
  
  With thanks to Dutton for the ARC. Opinions are my own.
• 
  Rebecca

  Thanks to the publisher, via Netgalley, for an advance e-galley in exchange for an honest review.
  
  The number one thing this book accomplished was to make me dread sending my (currently three-year-old) child to college someday. Much like author Alexandra Robbins's book Sorority, Fraternity examines the impact of these organizations on the individual, the group, and the institution. The focus is on two students in particular- one, a freshman pledge at a fraternity that fits the stereotypical image of a fraternity as an alcohol fueled, sexist, dangerous organization; the other, a young chapter president of a fraternity that prides itself on its service and treatment of others. Reading the second viewpoint was refreshing, as while the chapter struggled with a few incidents, they seemed to encourage each other to grow as decent human beings. On the other hand, it was difficult at times to read Jake's sections and watch him devolve as his values changed to better align with the organization's.
  I attended a small women's college with virtually no Greek life, and obviously no fraternities, so this is a world that is unfamiliar and disconcerting to me. I appreciated the author's inclusion of the benefits of fraternity life to its members, as well as the issues plaguing the organizations. This book should become required reading for parents of teens considering Greek life, especially those, like me, with no real knowledge or experience with the organizations, and would also be a book I'd like in the hands of teens themselves considering pledging.
• 
  Dylan

  editorial note: i'm gonna be reading a lot of shit about frats for a ~~creative project~~ i'm working on, so apologies in advance
  
  I started with this one cause it's the most "neutral" book on frats out of the crop I found. and despite a clearly sympathetic author who is determined to give us a "not all frats" narrative..... this shit is still so bleak lmao. so much lip service is paid to how fraternities can be progressive! and good for the boys in them! yet reports of hazing deaths and the sexual assault crisis on campuses are breezed on by, maybe getting a few pages of coverage each. the author even hilariously employs an incorrect version of the "a few bad apples" idiom to suggest we shouldn't judge all fraternities for the bad actions of some. the real phrase reads "a few bad apples spoil the bunch", which has never seemed more apt than when applied to the absolutely broken institution of greek life.
  
  I have so much more shit to say about this stupid book and the, frankly, cowardly way the subject matter is approached. but I am gonna stop myself here lol. don't read it. but do abolish frats!
• 
  Susan Csoke

  These are the stories of young men and their year in College. What it means to be in a Fraternity and how they grew from boys to men. Thankyou Goodreads for this free book.
• 
  Debbie

  This was fascinating! I would advise any parent of a young man considering Greek life to read this. It will provide a LOT of material for you to discuss with your son before he takes the plunge. I thought it was refreshing to hear about "good" fraternities and how they can be so good for college students. It was also fascinating to see how a "good" young man could turn into something he really wasn't by pledging a not-so-good fraternity. I am happy that I experienced Greek life so many years ago and not in present day. It wasn't all great but I was fortunate to find a place that was very good for me.
• 
  Steve Peifer

  Sometimes the mark of a great book is the courage of the author.
  
  I read two different books last year where the author wrote based on their original premise and regardless of where the data was leading, the author stayed with the original premise. The books were a waste of time.
  
  The easy book to write is that all fraternities are evil and they should all be shut down. There is a ton of anecdotal information that suggests it might be a really good idea to do just that. She shares it all.
  
  What Robbins discovers is that many young men need the coaching and friendship you find in a non toxic fraternity. What her research finds is there are many fraternities that are committed to helping young men become good men, and the positive impact they have is profound.
  
  The book follows two students in their Greek journey, and you see a nice kid become a repulsive human in the hands of a toxic system, and another young man who gets to exercise leadership opportunities and become a better person. Their journey is captivating.
  
  It’s a brave book by a wise author who will make you think. She always makes me think; she is a national treasure.
• 
  Sheather

  Fraternity is a well written glimpse into the world of college social fraternities. I've read a few of Robbins' books and they are excellent non-fiction books that will appeal to people who normally read fiction titles.
  
  I'm delighted with the timing of this book; my own son is a senior in high school and headed off to college next fall. While I don't think he would have an interest in joining a fraternity, I found this book to be extremely informative regarding the social science behind the urge to join these organizations. It also is an excellent resource on things to look for, or have your son look for, before rushing a fraternity. While I don't think I would encourage my son to pledge, after reading this book, I wouldn't be horrified either.
  
  The book follows a year in the life of two young men who are active in two very different fraternities at different schools. That part of the story reads like a narrative and I found it to be the most revealing. Peppered in in the middle of these narratives are short essays and interviews that explain the culture, concerns, and the benefits of fraternities.
  
  I would recommend this book to parents whose children are about to enter college as well as anyone who was a GDI in school (like me) because it is a captivating glimpse into a very secret world.
• 
  Mary

  As a mother of an eighteen year old boy who is going away to college next year, I appreciated this book and its depiction of college life. Not all fraternities are the same and young men join for a variety of reasons. Robbins writes about how many young men long for connection and friendship. Fraternities and their rituals and brotherhood provide a scaffold to build such connections. One of the boys featured in the book finds a good place in his fraternity where he makes friends and takes on rewarding leadership roles. However, the portrait of the second boy, "Jake" was both sad and horrifying to me. A smart, polite kid, he joins a fraternity where he regularly experiences humiliation during the first year (they will not admit to hazing). He is pressured to drink and hook up with girls--especially girls from high ranking sororities. Jake's grades suffer, he partakes in a culture that belittles women, calls for conformity, and rewards risky drinking. I learned that some fraternities (especially those that have made efforts to become more diverse) can be nurturing places. However, others harbor superficial values at best. An eye-opening book.
• 
  CatReader

  A typical Alexandra Robbins book in that it's a fast read and told in a sensationalized narrative style. While her accounting of a year in the life of two very different fraternity brothers, "Oliver" and "Jake", are intermingled with some rudimentary research and interviews done by the author and a research assistant, this isn't a work of high caliber journalism as much as an intro level college survey class into the good and the bad (mostly the bad) of US fraternities. While a few other men's experiences were detailed briefly, I think adding in a few more main characters would've fleshed the narrative out a bit better.
  
  To add in my own experience, my undergrad school did not participate in the Greek system at all, for which I am grateful. We were instead all sorted into one of around 8 co-ed "houses" with in-built (tongue-in-cheek) rivalries, elected leadership and committees, and a few prescribed social events throughout the year to plan, participation optional. There was definitely no hazing or humiliation, but at the same time, communal bonds tended to be loose and transient.
• 
  Ryan

  I think this book offers some great commentary into an area that is not discussed too often.
• 
  Erica Zutz

  I have always been passively curious about fraternities. This is a great look at Greek life and both pro and con.
• 
  Carolyn Kost

  The content of this book was so distressing and nausea-producing I decided not to finish it; I have no idea how anyone could. I surrendered at page 177. The very thought of exposing young men (and ladies) to this unconscionable behavior in universities makes me rethink everything I tell parents as a College Counselor.
  
  Evidently we are meant to overlook the enforced sex acts (!), sexual predation and objectification of women, the pornography, the rape jokes, the masculine stereotypes, the alcohol consumption, the subordination of schoolwork to partying, the abandonment of religious and all moral values, that supposedly leads to positive formation of young gentlemen? We are meant to see that older fraternity brothers model responsible drinking? The universities make no concerted effort, just abdicate responsibility. I have never felt more disgusted by tertiary (I refuse to write "higher" education). I don't care whether the fraternities benefit the two young men the author studies because no end result could justify what they experience. It runs counter to everything I would want a university to be to its students. Horrifying.
  
  "Late adolescents, psychologists have found, experience an unusually powerful pressure to conform to peer norms" (146), which explains why they engage in problematic behaviors and why they become sheep that follow the prevailing ideology (think postmodern moral relativism) du jour.
  
  The behaviors and attitudes described in this book should make you reconsider sending your son or daughter away to college.
  
  The fact I just can't read the rest of it doesn't detract from its importance. Better to be forewarned.
• 
  Natalie Walton

  I received an advanced copy of Fraternity to review for my college newspaper,
  The Review. Here's a preview of what I had to say:
  
  This is the type of writing Robbins seems to have found her footing in — approachable and informative, but casual. Her Goodreads page identifies her style as “poolside nonfiction,” which is the most fitting phrase I can think of when describing the style of “Fraternity.”
  
  She manages to tackle not only difficult topics but also generally complex ones, such as masculinity and various theories of social psychology. Most admirably, Robbins does this while still maintaining a tone of breezy accessibility. It is the kind of book that could be appealing to both those who regularly read nonfiction and those who prefer fiction, something that could help boost conversations not only about the book itself but about Greek life in general.
  
  You can read the full review
  here.
• 
  Susan Bazzett-Griffith

  I've read a few of Robbins' books, and I have to say this isn't her best work. While I liked her familiar writing style as always, I wasn't so fond of how she seemed to try to go out of her way to show the positive aspects of Greek life and spent less time analyzing how her human subjects were able to distance themselves from their own morality and boundaries just to be accepted into a fraternity. The groupthink issue was addressed, but not nearly as thoroughly or as often as the concept of "brotherhood". The sexual assault and binge drinking statistics were discussed, but AGAIN, the pros of fraternity life and how being a member makes young men feel seemed to be relegated to a more higher echelon of importance. While I get that some boys do not learn how to be vulnerable and create meaningful friendships in our society, I don't actually believe that fraternities, with their expensive dues and vows of secrecy and culture of booze is a very good way to deal with the problems of toxic masculinity in our country. Three stars, but reluctantly so.
• 
  Jennifer

  Read this for a department summer reading selection, as our students continue to show fairly wide ranging interest in Greek life. Found it to be a better, more nuanced reflection of fraternities than the view of sororities depicted in Ms. Robbins' earlier book Pledged. Found the chapter on masculinity particularly helpful for our work, and feel I will recommend it for families and students to read if they think they want to pursue Greek life at college.
• 
  Liralen

  Following up on
  Pledged: The Secret Life of Sororities, Robbins dove back into the world of Greek life to examine the world of fraternities. The book focusses on two students: Jake, a freshman pledge at a sex-drinking-and-partying chapter, and Oliver, a sophomore and president of a more progressive frat.
  
  I've read most of Robbins's books at this point. Fraternity closely follows the fewest students of any of them (e.g., Pledged,
  The Overachievers, and
  The Nurses all followed four or more people), and I rather wish there had been more students followed here as well. It could just be that it was harder to get participants (fraternities are not exactly known for cheerfully letting outsiders in on their secrets, and it wouldn't be possible for Robbins to, for example, blend in in the same way she could sometimes in sororities. Robbins works hard to emphasise the 'not all men' argument for fraternities (i.e., 'not all fraternity brothers are hard-partying rapists' and 'not all fraternity chapters support hard-drinking rapists'—she literally says 'not in every chapter and not by every brother', which seems to be missing the point somewhat), but gosh, it's...it's not that I think all the apples are bad, but that some of the apples that are bad are really fucking toxic. Jake's fraternity, for example: not the sort of toxic that ends up in the news; not the sort of toxic that leads to lawsuits. Probably. But definitely the sort of toxic where any woman over a US size 4 is ridiculed (repeated mentions of 'whales' and 'harpooning'), as are any brothers who date a woman over said size, or where rape jokes are considered funny, or where pledges and newly initiated brothers are required to drink until they puke or pass out, or where coming thisclose to flunking a class is fine so long as one's pledge book is memorised.
  
  All in the name of brotherhood.
  
  Oliver's fraternity represents the better end of the scale: a place where the chapter takes pains to make sure it's a safe place not only for members but also for guests (including, or perhaps especially, female students), where hazing is not a thing but community projects are, and where any punishments meted out are done with an eye to growth. I'm honestly still not convinced it's somewhere I'd want (or have wanted in college) to spend any significant time anyway, but if Robbins wanted to make the point that there are healthy fraternities out there, then sure.
  
  If anything's clear, though, it's that Oliver's fraternity is not the norm. Neither are the worst fraternities, mind; if anything, it's frats like Jake's that are the middle ground. Basically okay people who find a community but also succumb to peer pressure and groupthink and turn into somewhat less decent human beings over time, maybe. And that's kind of sad, no?
  
  In both Pledged and Fraternity, Robbins talks some about the differences between historically white Greek life and historically black Greek life. I'd be curious to read something like
  In Search of Sisterhood or
  The Divine Nine, as the non-historically-white approach (yes, that's clunky phrasing, and yes, I'm going to let it stand) sounds very different, and probably much healthier.
• 
  James

  So... I have a number of thoughts about this book that I'm still sorting out. So this review is a very rough one.
  
  First, my perspective. The Greek world is a strange one to me. As a non-Greek I've always tried to be non judgmental about these organizations. Not my thing, but you do you... So I came into this without a whole lot of bias. I think...
  
  My most pervasive reaction throughout the book was one of horror. As I read more and more about the practices of many fraternities, I just kept thinking "This is is awful!" By the end of the book, I was pretty convinced that the Greek system should be banned from colleges.
  
  Robbins says that her goal is to provide a nuanced view of fraternities and to move away from the stereotypes/bad name that they get. Maybe I missed something but she seemed to undermine that goal at mostly every turn. She provides horror story after horror story and in the analytical sections of her text, she identifies underlying problem after underlying problem with the Greek system. If this was meant to be a defense of the Greek system and its potential benefits, I hate to see what an attack on that system would look like. She provides glimpses into Greek organizations that might be more salutary, but for some reason she doesn't choose to focus on them. She could have tried to go inside a historically black or Hispanic fraternity to give us another view of the fraternity world, but instead they are presented as atypical EXACTLY BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE PROBLEMS TYPICAL OF most fraternities.
  
  Her idea of "good" fraternities seems to be fraternities that don't engage in the most abominable behavior. She notes (I think as a positive thing) that Oliver's fraternity didn't have one member accused of sexual assault during a whole school year. Think about it. That's her standard. If an organization's members aren't accused of sexual assault in a year, they should be congratulated. They piece of praise might be the most damning condemnation of the fraternity system.
  
  Revealing book, but the case was not made.
• 
  David

  I gave her undercover-in-a-sorority book, Pledged, 2 stars nine years ago, and I liked this one a little better--maybe 2.7 rounded up.
  
  Understandably, she doesn't try to pull off infiltrating a frat but does report in great detail on two brothers -- one going thru pledge as a first-semester student, and the other a chapter president in just his sophomore year. The spin is that the two frats embody the contrast between good and bad frats emphasized in her more general reporting as well, but i'm not sure that came through all that clearly. More like bad and worse.
  
  side curiosity I had is why the pledge guy ("Jake") agreed to spill everything to her, since he otherwise seemed well and properly intimidated by the older brothers, maximally concerned about their opinions of him, and converted to the fraternity's obsession with secrecy about its traditions, rituals, hazing activities, etc.
  
  Not having been at a frat, and working for my whole career at a school at which they are not that prominent, I probably am not in the best position to comment, but it's my review, so there's no stopping me. I appreciate the author's bending over backward to present a both-sides perspective on the phenomenon, but I still don't get it.
  
  that is, in general i know you can't have the rose without the thorn, but in this specific instance the sharpness of the thorns seems all out of proportion to the sweet smell of the rose. To get young men to feel willing/able to open up and be vulnerable with each other and to feel connected to other students at a large college, or have a play area in which to practice being leaders, is it really crucial that we accept (a) blowing off academic aspect of college when it interferes with weird rituals, (b) truly sickening levels of binge drinking, with associated risk of alcohol poisoning, (c) humiliation and degradation of one another as a purported rite of passage, (d) overt racism, and above all on this account (e) rampant misogyny and high frequencies of sexual assault?