Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol by Ruby Warrington

Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol Reviews

• 
  Alison S

  2.5 stars rounded down. I read an article by this author in a Sunday supplement about giving up drinking, which inspired me to go teetotal myself and to buy this book. Although the book contains some good insights into why and how we use alcohol, and offers some handy hints for living without alcohol, the overall tone and the writing style grated so much that it was almost impossible for me to see past that. The author used to write "lifestyle" features for a magazine, so this perhaps partly explains the writing style and the "bittiness" of the book. It was also insufferably smug, pretentious and woowoo at times, to the point where I spent large parts of the book alternately grinding my teeth together or sighing heavily. Here's a handy hint from me - avoid the chapter called "Getting High On My Own Supply" at all costs if you have a low tolerance for all things Hipster and New Age (or "Now Age" as the author insists on renaming it). One of the quotes on the cover mentions it offering "practical strategies". Yes - but only if you inhabit the same privileged, liberal, white, educated and middle class world as the author. An author who also counts among her friends a "Haitian Vodoun priestess and root worker". Here's an extract that gives you an idea of what I mean about the writing style (which caused much merriment when I read it aloud to my daughter) - "Another reason I think the Pisces has rediscovered DJ-ing as part of his Sober Curiosity is that the sonic journey satisfied the part of him ... that used to use booze to transcend the earthly realms". Deathless prose, I'm sure you agree! She also likes to use the expression "Thank Goddess" and to use italics at least once on every single page. I rest my case ... I think I'm being so harsh mainly out of frustration, as I really wanted to like this book, it had some really excellent and inspiring insights to offer, and partly thanks to Ruby's original article, I am in my sixth week without alcohol.
• 
  Kris Patrick

  With the all the references to Brene Brown, I kind of wished Brene Brown was writing it.
• 
  Peter Galamaga

  Several years ago I made some big changes in the areas of diet and exercise. The program I started with involved cutting out alcohol. After I was done with a program, I found that drinking had lost its appeal. I have always loved a good drink...or two. But now I simply don't feel good when I drink alcohol and it is no longer enjoyable for me. I've been curious about what may have happened physically and/or mentally during that long layoff.
  
  The title of this book intrigued me and, after flipping through it, I decided to check it out of the local library. It appeared that Warrington was addressing the questions I had.
  
  I wanted to like this book. I really did. But I found it to be a rambling mess of anecdotes, random and obvious "how to" lists, and weak science. I think that my age and gender didn't help either. As a 53-year-old man, I did not connect with her personal story at all. The author struck me as an extremely bright but immature person in need of an editor. With a few more rewrites and edits, this could have been a very good book. However, as I said, that could just be me. I see a lot of very positive reviews by mostly young women.
• 
  Nel Indziniak

  I read through this entire book rolling my eyes—some parts I found minimally enjoyable and other parts useful. I appreciate her encouraging folks to get curious about their experiences but came to the conclusion that you could find her advice in ANY OTHER self help book. What I couldn’t ignore was the classism, racism, and anti-sexwork(er) sentiment that ran undercurrent (meaning indirect, meaning covert) throughout this book. A ww saying “hey I know I’m a wealthy ww and that i struggle SIGNIFICANTLY less then most other people”...is performative trash & that is exactly what RW did multiple times in order to act as though it’s a ticket to escape true accountability for her privilege. Almost every single person she referenced was a fellow wealthy wyt New Yorker, this woman didn’t even go out of her way to look beyond her rich person bubble to make this book applicable to the people on the ground, struggling with complexity & trauma & lives that look nothing like hers. And she claims that meditation is free...but her own sober curios meditation retreat costs 300 fucking dollars! (For a weekend!! Lol) So people can meditate alone but they’ve gotta have money to be in your community, huh ruby warrington? Pls change the title of this faulty & badly written book to reflect that this was made by and for rich wyt folks—not “us all” cause I know for CERTAIN it wasn’t written with me in mind. Y’all can keep it.
• 
  Amy C.

  This book is a must read for anyone who drinks, even if alcohol isn't an issue in your life. Warrington offers fresh insights and questions into why we turn to alcohol in the first place, what role it plays in our lives and challenges us to get on board with the notion that we already have everything we need inside us and that alcohol actually doesn't give us the things we look for in it but in actuality, alcohol does the opposite. Instead of focusing on all the reasons we shouldn't be drinking (there are many), Warrington focuses on the joy and magic to be found in sobriety!
• 
  Katie T

  If you find yourself reading this book I think it's safe to say you want to/wish you/already do drink less and you're curious about this title. That's me. Someone who has realized that even casual drinking, that almost never results in getting sloppy or hangovers, just isn't fun anymore. And maybe never was.
  
  For those reasons, the book starts out great and really jives with what I'm already thinking. I appreciate the realization that I am not the only person out there who thinks booze sucks. Who struggles with FOMA (fear of missing alcohol) when you see a glass of wine on a sunny patio at a cafe, but stillllll you know it sucks. It doesn't fulfill. And HEY, that is OK! Okay, so all those kinds of ideas and themes are hit on in the first 40%ish of the book and for that I give this book a thumbs up, solid 3 stars. The positives are the big take away that YOU CAN DECIDE WHAT YOU DO with yourself and your body in relation to booze (this is said with great trepidation and not directed toward people suffering from addiction or alcoholism). But for the person who just kinda thinks alcohol sucks and doesn't struggle with it beyond a bad habit, like eating too much sometimes, it is a really worthwhile concept that you can decide how you consume it and live your life. You can spend time with friends and family and go out and not imbibe AND feel better for it.
  
  But the topic, perhaps naturally, evolves in to what you could be/should be doing instead of drinking and maybe that is totally OK for a self-help type book. There is nothing wrong with suggesting mediation, or yoga, or crafting or anything else to occupy yourself, to help you be more fulfilled or present or creative. Nothing wrong with that. But that has quickly become ALL that this book is about, rather than what I think the original topic intended to be (or seems it should be based on the title .... but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just want to read about the evils of alcohol rather than living in the healthy after). So lets be clear AF here. I am a white priv woman. Living in a very white priv world. I GO TO YOGA almost daily. I live in Cali. I drink Kombucha. I have dabbled in meditation. I literally CAN go float in the ocean (as she suggests) if I want. But as this book began to wrap up I found it insulting. What about the person, who cares their skin color or priv or whatever, who cannot afford yoga, or doesn't have access to it, who doesn't live on a freaking ocean, who doesn't know what the heck a sound bath is and can't access one for 3000 miles if they wanted to. I sat here realizing how lucky I am that I already have a deep yoga practice and the thought of deepening my mediation practice isn't that scary. But this is so particular and specific and in most cases expensive.
  
  This book made me feel shitty relief (thank god I'm not the other guy), WELL THANK GOD I'M ALREADY A FULL BLOODED CALIFORNIAN. Like PHEW, I'm in the clear. I do yoga so a leap to daily mediation isn't crazy! I'm free, healthy, safe! I can defeat the urge to drink because it doesn't bring me joy! BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? Does this make sense? Am I getting wrapped up in the wrong thing?? Again, nothing wrong with suggesting things to do instead of drinking. Nothing. There is lots of free yoga on you tube people can try (assuming, which we shouldn't, that everyone has an internet connection and a phone or computer and so on) ..... Okay, so whats my problem. I guess the specificity and type of suggestions are so freaking upper class trendy magazine headline, that even I, a super white priv woman, is aware of how insulting it is to a lot of people, and not just the extremely impoverished.
  
  She seriously suggests sound baths, superfoods, shambalic something or others and floating in the ocean. OK, NO PROB. Let me go to my local spot in my local ocean. Is anyone else irritated by this?? I was really excited to see this idea being talked about, that alcohol is actually really ludicrous and the fact that its socially acceptable is insane and why do we all succumb to it, so many of us deeply hate it. But it's turned in to a super yuppie new age lifestyle guru book. My sentences don't make sense anymore but I THINK my point has been made. For all that crap, its a 1 star book. So 3 stars for the actual alcohol discussion, 1 star for new age B.S. = 2 star over all.
• 
  Jordan

  A soccer mom's guide to alcohol issues. Some good insight for those not sick enough for AA, but really... "just order dessert instead!" and other surface-level suggestions make this one long Chatelaine article. If you want a good read regarding recovery for those that question AA, pick up the critic's favourite of 2018, The Recovering.
• 
  Radiantflux

  7th book for 2019.
  
  Sober Curious refers to people who are not alcoholics, for who taking an AA oath of lifelong abstinence would feel false, but who do want to explore the potential joys of living without alcohol for extended periods of time.
  
  Warrington, a former journalist who has worked in both London and NYC, knows the alcohol fueled lifestyle, puts forward a good argument for the virtues of a Sober Curious lifestyle and offers many useful suggestions for how to navigate this choice. Warrington does stray at times into an uncomfortably New Age tone, but this is pretty minimal and easy enough to pass over for those allergic to this sort of thing. The book lacks any discussion around the science of drinking, which I found personally found disappointing, but that is perhaps for a different sort of book.
  
  3-stars.
• 
  Hailey Hunt

  I was surprised and inspired by how Ruby connected being "sober curious" to activism. As someone trying to meditate more and sit in my own discomfort and fully feel, this book encouraged me to take a deeper dive into this way of life by being "sober curious", which also involves letting go of the stress of being "perfect". An easy read, but deep, not-so-easy personal thoughts and reflections are brought to the surface... which I love!
• 
  Amy

  I've been reading a lot of articles about the "sober curious," movement and thought I'd do a little dive into a book on it too. I listened to
  this one on audiobook and was excited to learn better habits for unwinding and more about Warrington's own journey to sobriety.
  
  Warrington writes very honestly about her struggles with alcohol that lead her to the decision to cut it out of her life. She shares some of her favorite side effects from quitting booze, like better sleep, more energy, and deeper connections with those around her. 
  
  The idea of sober curiosity is, certainly, a different avenue of sobriety than committing to an AA program. I think it is a great exploration for people that don't necessarily have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, but want to live a mindful life. I can see how the movement can feel a bit controversial for people who struggle with alcohol addiction because abstaining is the best solution.
  
  Overall, it was an interesting read, but I thought the book would offer more takeaways or a step-by-step process. This seems to focus more on Warrington's own benefits that she experienced rather than giving readers an actionable plan for curiously seeking sobriety.
• 
  Mariah Grimes

  well! i’m conflicted with this read to be honest. with the amount of times she repeated herself or said “but, we will get more into this later…” it could have been an article and not a book tbh.
  
  i have been considering the idea of being sober-ish for a while…simply because i don’t really enjoy drinking & dont indulge much.
  
  i found the author to be a bit self-obsessed and not super self-aware? she would share her stories of binge drinking and blackout drinking while saying her alcohol behaviors were normal or average.
  
  i would consider my consumption to be pretty moderate (less than 7 drinks a week), i rarely get hungover but can also feel hungover even when i don’t drink or have a single glass of wine. AKA i’m just DEHYDRATED - so the idea of a hangover free life just doesn’t solely feel like an alcohol free mission.
  
  so much of this book i struggled to resonate with or fit my own experience into while also simultaneously feeling shamed.
  
  however, i do think that reading this book and just THINKING more about drinking has helped me to consider and think about why i drink and how i feel while drinking more - so maybe it did it’s job. i do plan on seeing if i can be sober from alcohol for a while to see if i truly do sleep better & find that glow.
  
  overall this book was a wild ride in was just ready to be done with - i echo some other reviews and wish this book concept was written by someone else…possibly considering reading another sober exploratory book to continue thinking more on this topic - any suggestions??!
• 
  Lindsay

  Made me feel great about decision to quit drinking.
• 
  Rebecca

  I picked this book up at the library because I know that alcohol is bad for me and was hoping this book might help me along in that journey. However, I did not relate to this author's experiences at all.
  
  Her reasons for drinking just aren't mine. I don't use alcohol as a way to unwind. I often already do drink something non-alcoholic for my first round. I'm not scared to meet new people totally sober. This is just not my reasons for drinking alcohol. I like trying new things (and there's always a new craft beer or cocktail you've never tried) and I like the communal experience of drinking. These are not things that were addressed.
  
  She seems really hung up on what people think of her when she's drinking and when she's not drinking and really hung up on her own judgements of others' drinking habits. You can only remind people so many times not to judge others for drinking before it really seems like you want to judge others.
  
  This book also totally lacked actual, scientific information on what alcohol does to your body, to your relationships, to society, etc. Instead, the author focuses on how quitting alcohol can help heal your spirituality and other new age, whole body health concepts. Which I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for me. Talk me through the reality of liver cirrhosis and maybe I'd feel more compelled to drink less. Also, as someone not particularly prone to hangovers, her whole thing about how your body "knows" you shouldn't drink didn't really hit home.
  
  All of this together, I probably still would have given the book two stars because it was easy to read (if a little too on the conversational and smug side of things) and I thought the selection of "alternatives" was pretty good. However, Warrington did my least favourite thing non-fiction authors do:
  
  She cited a news article discussing a scientific study instead of citing the study directly. There is no quicker way to convince me that you have not done your research. This book is lazy and unconvincing.
  
  Edit: found the study the article was citing and it turns out that it didn't say the thing she cited it for. Yes, I feel vindicated by this. As I said, lazy.
• 
  Lisa

  Ah, well, what to say of this book?
  
  If nothing else, it was validating to know that there are a whole host of people out there wondering what a completely alcohol-free existence might look like. Drinking is so embedded into the fabric of our lives that to leave it behind for any reason, save life-ruining addiction, seems almost a revolutionary act. Or at very least highly unconventional. Discovering that there are other sober curious folk out there has fed the fire to continue pondering, and perhaps eventually embracing, this "unusual" life choice. (Also, it should be noted that there's been a recent and drastic spike in NA beer offerings, which leads me to surmise that sober curiosity may be on the rise.)
  
  As others have said, the book is somewhat meandering and towards the end gets into a weird tone/pace that was rather offputting. I'm actually pretty open-minded about woo woo stuff, but all the talk of "high-vibes," and other pop spirituality phrases and ideas were a bit much for me. There's not much substance (puns!), but enough motivational energy to make this a decent enough read (tho I struggled to make it through the last fifty pages). It's a good 101 for anyone wanting to explore the possibilities of a sober curious lifestyle, but I'm excited to continue both my research and soul-searching with some richer, more well-thought-out literature. On to the next one!
• 
  Andee Marley

  I love, like, admire and adore Ruby Warrington! I listened to Material Girl, Mystical World as an audiobook in my car, and it was honestly like I had a new best friend, chatting about Everything I love and think about. It was AMAZE!
  
  Imagine my excitement when my new BFF published a book about being Sober Curious! OMG we are truly on the exact same LIFE PAGE!
  
  Well, I liked it, alot. But just 4 stars. And that's my personal experience, just where I am right now.
  
  I am about 13 weeks down the road of being Sober Curious, into what Ruby would now call Sober-Sober. Maybe, I think I needed this book between 15 and 10 weeks ago.
  
  She is awesome, and this book is AWESOME for any THINKING of trying it and feeling insanely good!
  
  One of my favorite quotes on page 10 was about 'Why are the only people not drinking the ones who 'can't'? Its such a part of our culture, we hardly question it.
  
  IT'S TIME TO QUESTION IT and join the movement of SERIOUS SELF LOVE! you go girl, you are still my secret author Bff.
• 
  Eve Dangerfield

  I liked it. I find Ruby Warrington’s style of woo pretty endearing and I liked her tone and writing style. I liked the tips in here too. I want to make alcohol free unicorn shots.
• 
  Jennifer

  My last book for #dryjanuary and I enjoyed her approach that drinking isn’t really black or white and taking extended breaks are ok. I enjoyed her segments on physical improvements/focus/sleep and how alcohol doesn’t really fit into your wellness goals or the fact that in today’s world we really can’t be “out of it”. Some of her chapters got a bit out there for me, but I don’t judge. This is her journey and what helped her and good for Ruby for putting herself out there and sharing her truth and suggestions to help you love your best life. I wish we had a Club SODA here in STL!
• 
  Joanna

  A thoughtful critique of our collective obsession and individual relationships with booze through a spiritual lens. Warrington writes without judgment and speaks about alcohol not as the 'bad guy,' but as a prop we use to alter, obscure and numb our emotions. She offers solutions and resources of doing the hard work of sitting with these uncomfortable feelings instead and speaks to the joy and presence on the other side. Great read!
• 
  Cara Meredith

  While it wasn’t the most well-written book (from a journalist, no less), I’ve ever read, it definitely makes me Sober Curious ...which is perhaps the whole point.
• 
  Kelly Krucki

  I found this book to be well written and helpful for anyone considering taking a break from drinking. I also liked that she acknowledged the privilege she has in addressing these issues.
• 
  Derin K

  I enjoyed this book to the extent the author shared an enlightening story in terms of her own journey toward becoming sober curious. She’s clearly done quite a bit of self-reflection, and it shows throughout the pages of this book. But, overall, I had a hard time identifying with the main messages in this book. After reading this book (or, rather, listening to it in audiobook form) I felt like an oddball for being able to drink without blacking out and without having a debilitating hangover. I discovered that I am already “sober curious,” as defined by this book, because I barely drink in the first place. If I do drink, I wake up the next day no worse for wear. I feel like most of this book was geared toward rewiring the brain to not use alcohol as a crutch, which I don’t relate to. I do not feel the need to reach for a drink in certain social situations and I do not feel the need to drink in order to “numb the pain.” I can have a single drink and not feel the desire to have a second. My entire college experience was defined by me going out to bars and singing and dancing my heart out totally sober, even if all my friends were drinking.
  
  The biggest problem I had with this book was that it assumed that one drink would lead to multiple drinks would lead to a blackout would lead to a multiple-day hangover would lead to a host of other mental and physical problems in life. At one point, the author said that the concept of drinking “in moderation” doesn’t work, but “moderation” is a concept I apply to my drinking, to my consumption of sugar—even to “good” things like my exercise habits. This premise contradicts the author’s own points that you shouldn’t quit alcohol cold turkey if it doesn’t suit your own sober curious journey. Because of this confusing argument and the assumption that adults can’t make their own decisions, a lot of this book felt incredibly patronizing. One example of how this manifested was when the author suggested that readers imagine they were pregnant in order to understand the benefits of getting sober—as if I’m incapable of doing what’s right for my body for my own sake and wouldn’t be able to treat it right unless I see it as a “vessel” for growing life. There are helpful nuggets in this book about how becoming sober curious helps people get closer to their own selves, which I agree with, but I also think that these endeavors can exist on two completely separate tracks. And I have heard the term “orgasmic sleep” more times than I ever care to hear for a single lifetime. If there were fewer platitudes, less of the “obvious," and more actual science, I may have felt more connected to this one.
• 
  Ramona Mead

  Of all the books and articles I've read about sobriety, this is the only one that pretty much matches my personal beliefs. The writing is casual and super positive. I appreciate that she acknowledges there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to sobriety. This is the first thing I've read that addresses a phenomenon I experienced after quitting booze, which is the overwhelm of emotions I felt on a daily basis: positive, negative, and neutral - I was feeling everything all the time, which I now realize I hadn't done in over 20 years!
  
  The message here isn't only: you should quit drinking. Ruby covers every aspect of how alcohol affects us AND what to expect when you cut it out. She gives suggestions for everything from non-alcoholic drinks to what what to do with your new found energy and spare time.
  
  I wish this book had existed at the start of my sober curious journey, though I still found it incredibly helpful and supportive. I will definitely recommend this book to anyone who is sober curious.
• 
  Nicole Roccas

  The author's personal journey through an alternative mode of sobriety from alcoholism.
  I agreed with the premise of the book--that sobriety is something we should be curious and open to exploring, and that it's difficult to do that because we typically assume those who present themselves as sober must have a 'problem.' At the same time, I could have done without the author's weird new age tangents, constant references to 'snorting a line' as though it were a mainstream leisure activity most people would relate to, and the preachy tone. I also felt that she was rather reductive in her depiction of alcohol as the main/only major issue in people's lives, and if people become sober curious, all their problems will go away. Finally, many of the strategies she suggests (e.g. mindfulness, meditation) were not explored in a trauma-informed way and could be detrimrntal for people with trauma histories if implemented in the ways she suggests.
• 
  Tess Malone

  Overall, I found this book really helpful to start asking questions about my drinking habits and the societal pressure to drink. I appreciated it Warrington’s warm style and personal anecdotes. She mixes practical advice with more philosophical questions on why we might quit drinking and how to do it. However, her writing style is very chatty, repetitive, self referential, and just like an irritating women’s magazine article from 2008 sometimes. I wished she had more research and not just quotes from other articles. I also found the section that was very woo woo to be a little exhausting and like diet therapy and I definitely skimmed it. But this book is a good conversation starter to interrogate your habits.
• 
  Stefan

  The book started off stronger than it ended. Don't get me wrong, it has some good information and insights and it was a decent exploration of the subject, but it becomes long-winded. The author does make several salient points without coming across as demeaning, which I appreciate; and she helps you get curious about what you may gain versus what you think you may lose by giving up alcohol, which I think is an important consideration. The writing style, being relatively fragmented and pretty self absorbed, also wasn't the best and made it difficult to engage at times. 2-2.5*
• 
  Tiago

  Sejam perguntas ou respostas aquilo que procuramos nem sempre há uma forma fácil de as encontrar. Por vezes temos respostas para perguntas que nunca fizemos, noutras vezes temos perguntas sem respostas e talvez tenhamos perguntas e respostas à espera de se encontrarem. O que é mais raro é não haver nem perguntas, nem respostas, mas essa é uma questão para outro livro.
  
  Neste livro, o assunto é o álcool. Esta "sobriedade curiosa" tem uma abordagem prática, simples e intuitiva a perguntas e respostas que, bem sei, ninguém tem. Não é importante. Com ou sem perguntas, à procura ou não de respostas, é uma útil “audição”.
• 
  Debbie Varekamp

  "Why are the only people who don't drink the ones who can't drink? Why don't more people see quitting drinking as a positive, healthy, life-affirming choice? Why do we often assume a person must have had a "problem" with alcohol when he or she quits? And why do so few people talk about the clarity, the self-assurance, the presence that becomes your very own inner light when you remove the booze?"
• 
  Kiley Wilson

  Interesting concept but horrible writing - there were so many eye roll moments but the one this really did me in was the comparison of being sober to giving birth, with both be laborious (what?). I think there are likely other books on this same topic without the weird idioms. I also found the author difficult to relate to since most of her sections about herself involved a fantastical life style of travel and weekly massages.
• 
  Lee Adams

  There's nothing mind-blowing about this book but the reality, I think, is that there's nothing mind-blowing about realizing the benefits of skipping alcohol. I read this in conjunction with a month-long 'break' from the sauce to add to excitement of things. Warrington is real and funny and has some good points. I liked the author's subtle comparison of someone who might be a 'dry drunk' versus someone who is really 'sober curious'