The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride by Katrina Majkut

The Adventures and Discoveries of a Feminist Bride Reviews

• 
  Victoria

  This book is a fun read. An exploration of the (outdated) traditions around marriage, Majkut’s sense of humour oozes through the pages and this writers uses it to make some excellent points when it comes to the inequality with marriage from start to finish of this process - who knew even the cake was part of the inequality of married life, this book is a learning curve!
  
  Putting each part of the wedding into historical perspective and then showing how awkward it looks in modern culture, for example bridesmaids or veils, this book really highlights the inequalities in a fun and lighthearted way that makes it such an easy book to read. I also think the advice at the end of each chapter about what you could do instead, eye-opening and far more interesting than what is traditional.
  
  I really enjoyed reading this book, it’s contemporary, informative and such an easy read that if you’re soon to be married or thinking about it, but want to do in a way that makes you feel a bit more equal, this is the book for you. I really want more books that go in the same vein like this as I think there’s so much to explore as life goes on.
  
  (I received an ARC from NetGalley for review).
• 
  Sandra "Jeanz"

  REVIEW
  Occasionally I like to read something a bit different, some humour, non-fiction or memoir type book so when I saw this book I fancied giving this one a go.
  
  The cover depicts a rather fed up looking bride. Why is she fed up? Maybe it because its usually the bride that has to plan everything!?
  
  The genres listed for this book are humour and science, I agree with the humour although there is a lot of serious points made in the book too. I'm not sure about the genre label of "science" unless its behavioural science as peoples' behaviour in regard to weddings is included within the book. I guess you could also add memoir/diary as we are going along on the pre-wedding build up to the big day and what it all entails for Katrina.
  
  The book begins with the engagement ring, which is usually a diamond and every little girl has dreamt about for years. There's a part in the book where Katrina compares her desire for the perfect engagement compares to Gollum in Lord Of The Rings! She puts it all so much funnier than I would so I'll leave the exact statement for you to read in the book, but if you're anything like me I was giggling and picturing Gollum as I read it. Katrina also goes into why the wedding ring is a simple band with no beginning and no end to hopefully represent the marriage too.
  
  Katrina goes on to give us, the reader the different traditions and rituals of a wedding and her sometimes amusing thoughts on them.
  
  I have to say I totally agree with the whole "why should the woman change her name to that of her husband/partner". Personally I was self employed when I got married so for my business I still used my maiden name. Though I did bow to convention and take my husbands surname for everything else.
  
  Katrina also suggests alternatives to the brides' parents paying for the whole wedding. In this day and age couples have either lived on their own or perhaps lived with their partner prior to the marriage, so why does the financial burden fall on the brides parents? Why can the financial burden be shared between both sets of parents and the couple themselves too?
  
  I enjoyed reading the book and varied between laughing along, tutting, shaking my head and dare I say feeling I wanted to wave the feminist banner along with Katrina. There are even more areas within the wedding she could have covered, like families interfering with choices for bridesmaid, maid of honour, best man, ushers and little flower girl/page boys too. There's the "where to get married" arguments as well as the hymns (if marrying in church) or music. . .which guests sit where at the reception, then "sit down meal" vs "buffet" there always seems to be something for family and friends to complain or sulk about.
  
  My immediate thoughts when I finished the book were that the book began really interesting, and I definitely learnt where some wedding traditions came from, and I found the book thought provoking as to why women seem to meekly give in to so called tradition by taking or rather conforming to taking their husbands surname when they marry.
  
  My final thoughts are that the book was a good read. I enjoyed the lighter hearted sections of the book. I have to say the book pace felt like it was slower and dragging a bit in the latter part of the book. I stuck with the book and read it too the end. I just wish the pace and laugh out loud moments had been the whole way through to the end rather than just the first half /two thirds of the book.
• 
  Jasmine

  This is a fun read as there's a lot of humor in the book. I appreciate too that the author Katrina Majkut does engage with readers when you ask her questions on this website.
  
  Despite the humor and engaging nature of the book I found myself very angry reading this. Because it's true. It systemically shows how marriage and the wedding ceremony is really a sham created by men to oppress women and manipulate our expectations.
  
  Katrina does a fair job of trying to suggest some ways to reverse this, like having the man compelled to take his wife's name instead (A suggestion I really loved). But sadly I think until women get more angry about the way weddings and marriage enslave us to our husbands there will be little change.
  
  Time to ditch the ring, the cake, the white dress, all of which come under fire in this book. None of it is progressive or helpful to empowering women. It simply perpetuates men's manipulative control. This book certainly had a big effect on me in making me think I actually don't want to get married now. So this little book has saved me from a great deal of potential male-enforced misery!
  
  (Edit) The only reason I gave it 4 stars rather than 5 was because some of the traditions it has in here seem exclusive to white rich couples so were irrelevant to me. There's a lot about how it's unfair the bride's family has to pay for everything, but I don't know anyone who actually does that anymore. Maybe old rich white families I don't know. A more intersectional approach would have been appreciated for a feminist text.
• 
  Isabelle | Nine Tale Vixen

  (I received a free eARC from Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.)
  
  Look, changing (or even just challenging) the status quo is an exhausting, thankless undertaking. That’s why so many people treat “feminism” like a dirty word and self-described feminists as persona non grata. So for its bold stance alone I give the book and its author kudos — and more so for its overarching message of optimism and empiwerment. (However, there are moments where the tone gets a little haughty and superior, which is off-putting. Not everyone is, after all, in a position to realize or challenge the extent of their own privilege.)
  
  Majkut does a pretty good job examining in depth various problematic aspects of marriage-related US traditions, with a disclaimer regarding its emphasis on white cis heterosexual relationships and individuals. It’s clear she put a lot of thought and effort into the process, with lots of anecdotes and research [and pop culture/current event references], though their integration into the book is sometimes a little awkward. Additionally, the focus is a little scattered; while it’s obviously impossible to tackle every issue regarding the Wedding Industrial Complex, the “intersectional”
  part of her intersectional feminism (ie, LGBTQ and racial discrimination) sometimes seems neglected or sidelined.
  
  Additionally, for a book that put so much emphasis on labels and precise language, there were ironically a lot of grammar errors, euphemisms, and awkward hyperboles. Honestly, I think the book could have benefitted from more editing — a lot of the mistakes were straightforward and should’ve been caught in the proofreading process; others would take a little more work to fix (ie, restructuring and rephrasing, or eliminating altogether) but would ultimately become clearer in meaning.
• 
  Tracy

  I thought given the synopsis, that this book would be a more lighthearted approach to some of the marriage traditions that now seem almost standard but I found the book very dry and boring - if anything I would almost class this as an academic research book rather than a book members of the public would want to read.
• 
  Wendy

  Such a fun read, and really well-researched. Majkut does a really good job of bringing many angles of research together into an understandable point. The information changed the way I thought about so many wedding traditions and hugely influenced my own wedding.
  
  We didn't have bridesmaids or groomsmen: did you know that tradition is rooted in forced marriage and rape? Yikes.
  I didn't get an engagement ring: I didn't find it necessary in the first place, but now I understand why. Why should women wear something marking them as "taken" if men aren't going to as well?
  We bought our own wedding bands rather than him buying both.
  No wedding cake (fertility ritual).
  No silly garter pull and bouquet toss (sexual male vs. virginal woman = no thanks).
  And I kept my last name: I wanted to do this anyway, but the information in this book gave me a lot of excellent and logical responses to the plethora of people who asked me why I would keep my name, what about the "feeling of family," and "what about the kids," etc.
  
  There's so much more of interest in here that I'd say it's a must-read for any feminist bride or groom who wants to make their wedding (and future marriage!) reflect values of equality rather than traditions that you may not connect with in the first place and that may have nasty hidden histories. After reading this, I understand the deeper positive social impacts that my choices can have for other women.
• 
  Kenali

  ARC provided by the publisher via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
  
  Being a feminist and newly engaged, this book intrigued me. I have done research on wedding traditions in the past just because I was curious but I read this book wondering if there was anything I had missed. Turns out, I had already researched most of the wedding traditions and came to some of the same conclusions as Majkut.
  
  I knew quite a bit of this already going into the book. But even so, Majkut did a fantastic job researching these traditions. I did not know that most of these traditions actually went all the way back to ancient Rome. I really appreciated the ideas that Majkut came up with as alternatives.
  
  Overall I think this is a great book for anyone who wants alternatives to outdated wedding traditions. Or anyone who is interested in where these traditions came from in the first place. It will open your eyes!
• 
  Laura Simonite

  I wanted to like this book, and it did contain lots of interesting insight into the history of wedding traditions, but I felt from start to finish it needed a firm editorial hand. Endless similes and metaphors, circular arguments and repetitive points made this a real slog to finish. There was also an undercurrent of cool-girl feminism running throughout the book with personal anecdotes and snipes at apparent friends and family a theme throughout. I appreciated the attempts at intersectionality but found them to be broadly token and at odds with the sense of smug superiority with which the book seemed to be written. As a Japanese major, I also had to snort at the suggestion that Japan is a progressive feminist society, while a small point in the book, it indicated the depth (or lack thereof) of research beyond domestic borders to me.
  Overall, the bones of a really insightful resource for feminist brides, but terribly written and very specifically situated to the USA.
• 
  Camila

  Such a great book for any feminist that is trying to navigate the waters of wedding planning or reconciliate their values with the patriarchal traditions of weddings and marriage. Majkut delves into where the traditions come from and how they have evolved, and how to make them more inclusive and less sexist. It's great to make you think and to plan an event that respects your values more.
  
  *This book was given to me by the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review – all opinions are my own.*
• 
  Joanna

  i am openly admitting i did not finish reading this book.
  
  the author came to feminism during her wedding planning, and that is what the book is for — those who have not had their feminist awakening before their wedding.
  
  as someone who has studied gender for years, this is in no way what i need or was looking for. it is filled with the opinions and perspectives of a young feminist, and i’m sure it will be very helpful to many who need a wake up call.
• 
  Vicki

  I wish I'd had this book when I first got engaged; even at T-1 month it helped me to think through residual problems that I was really struggling with (and clarify why I had such strong opinions about other things).
  
  Not going to lie, I'm gifting this to all my newly engaged friends from now until some serious progress is made.
• 
  Nicki

  I can’t claim to have read all of this, as others have stated, it is pretty dry reading, so I picked the chapters that were of interest to me. Some interesting insights and a few I wish I could have unread! (Probably just as well I didn’t read this before my own wedding or I never would have had a cake!). Some of it is gross honestly.
• 
  Tess

  Studying up for the big test—
  I didn't agree with every point the author made but it made me think more about traditions/defaults and who they hinder.
• 
  Kate Raisen

  Simply because the author spent her entire life looking forward to and planning her wedding does not mean that everyone does, or that society is entirely at fault for her obsession.
• 
  Hannah Loftis

  Eye opening and extremely thought provoking!
• 
  Vir

  Found this to be a severely annoying read.
• 
  Amy Williams

  I am loving this book! I just wrapped up the patronymics chapter and am shocked that roughly only 10% of American women keep their name or don't take their spouse's name. Whoa! I thought we'd come a lot further than that.
  
  Majkut's book is so much fun to read, her humor intertwined with facts keeps me engaged. I'm almost finished reading it and that rarely happens these days! I want to send copies to my three nieces...
  
  Thanks to Majkut for all her hard work, research, and for pointing out all the BS still prevalent in our culture. As someone coming from a very traditional, conservative, religious background, I've fought the patriarchy my whole life without being this well informed. Majkut helped me confirm my instincts and beliefs and I will share your book with everyone. Maybe even my mother...🤔