The Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Say No. Set Boundaries. Take Back Control. by Patrick King

The Art of Everyday Assertiveness: Speak Up. Say No. Set Boundaries. Take Back Control. Reviews

• 
  Andreia Fernandes

  "A life devoid of NO is a life that is not your own. It is one that is lived for other people."
• 
  Mrtfalls

  I found this book actually quite useful and to the point. While I am bit sceptical about some of the psychology journal references he points to back up his argument, I think on the whole it is a good book for anyone who wants to get better at understanding what assertiveness is and how to be more assertive.
  
  Unfortunately, I find a lot of these self-help books are directed at an audience where people aspire to career progression or being some kind of hot-shot business person. However, when it comes to being assertive I think it is a very powerful communication style to develop when it comes also to political engagement e.g. if you are a union rep or political activist where you need to interact with a lot of different people.
  
  As with all self-help books, they cannot replace actually getting professionalhelp. Definitely read this book, but more self exploration through therapy is really important when it comes to digging in deeper about your own emotional, thought and behavioural patterns.
• 
  Marco Neves

  A good read, but a bit too common sensy.
  
  I would like to see how much of the content is based on real evidence and how much of it is purely based on the author's opinion.
• 
  Racquel

  Concise, thorough, and easy to follow.
• 
  Madeleine

  I enjoyed this book and learned a lot. It’s strengths are its theory, readability, and practical applications. The month-long practice guide at the end is also very good. I didn’t rate it higher because I thought the examples of certain behaviors and types were lacking. I think more examples focused on parent-child interactions and spouse interactions would have strengthened the book and widened its applicability beyond the friend- and workplace- examples that it uses the most.
• 
  Garrett Zecker

  Patrick King’s Art of Everyday Assertiveness was recommended to me along with a second book that I will be reading soon. It is an excellent, straight-to-the-point primer that can be digested relatively quickly. It has some very important and effective strategies for recognizing where one’s boundaries are currently, how various factors in our lives have led us to where we are, and the ways in which having poor personal boundaries can negatively impact every area of our lives. After identifying where we’re at, the book uses a straightforward approach to presenting strategies and using them in our day to day lives, as well as a one-month suggested timeline for executing a variety of activities to slowly build up our assertiveness and being aware of what we are doing through cognitive behavior therapy / exposure therapy. Little by little, one can reclaim their independence and freedom from the toxic takers in our lives by simply examining where we are at, and what we need to do to get to the next step of the freedom, respect, and assertiveness we all deserve from others. It sounds crazy, but I am seeing how my own behaviors have wrecked relationships of mine and in turn wrecked me, and I am not going to live like it any more thanks to regular therapy and King’s great book. Easy to read – can kill it in a couple of sittings, but I found myself dipping in and revisiting some parts quite often afterward. The book comes with an easy-to-use outline topic summary at the end.
• 
  Sergii Boiko

  What is Assertiveness?
  - Ability to say “no”
  - Ability to say “yes”, if you really want to
  - Making your needs and desires a priority for yourself
  - Respecting needs and desires of other people
  - Having clear understanding of your needs for you and for other people
  - Achieving a “win-win” interaction and relationship
  - Boosting your self-esteem
  - Living a happier and more fulfilling life
  
  Sounds like something you wanna learn? Then you should definitely check out this book!
  
  The book has a clear structure, funny pictures all over to make the understanding of the material better. Also a 27-day practice program, making sure that all those new knowledge will not perish away, like it happens with most of self-help books.
• 
  Lili Kim

  Great tips with notable reminders, such as:
  
  “Assertiveness is the freedom to choose what I want to do and not be beholden to people, places, and things.”
  “Remind ourselves of what we’re missing out on in our lives-what’s at stake. It is anything but trivial, and it compounds on a daily basis if you don’t speak up.”
  “You’ll never be able to stop other people asking something of you, but you always have the power to say no . . . you can control your own behavior.”
  -It’s your right to say no without excuses, to change your mind, to say “I don’t know.”Just because you have an ability or skill doesn’t mean other people are privileged to it.
  
• 
  Jennifer Trimble

  It's like this book was written for me! Well parts of it anyway. I struggle to say no to people and end up being taken advantage of. This book has so many helpful tips and example phrases that can be used to communicate better. I bought the ebook version so I could digitally highlight portions to look bad on when I'm in a situation that requires assertiveness. I'll be reading this day's other self help books soon.
• 
  Katherine Kehres

  Clear and concise. Read it over multiple weeks with a coworker. We compared notes and discussed how different parts spoke to us for different reasons. Good book for someone like me who is typically and naturally the introvertive, people-pleasing, avoids confrontation type of person. I maybe didn't agree with every antidote noted, like some examples were maybe extreme, but it got me thinking for sure.
• 
  Elena Problem

  В принципе, неплохая книжка. Порадовало, что не льют воду ведрами как это часто любят делать в селф хелп литературе. Важно: книжка, скорее, для начинающих, а не для тех, кто уже умеет постоять за себя.
  
  Серебряную пулю, как всегда, не предлагают, но в конце книги есть план на месяц, как учиться говорить "нет" и выстраивать свои границы.
  
  Заранее предупреждают, что по пути можно растерять пару-тройку "друзей".
  
• 
  Filipe Salgueiro

  This is more 2,5 stars than 3 stars. I found this book to be so obvious in what it had written, just common sense. I'm pretty sure there is some TED talk (or similar) on YouTube that will give you the same information as this book
• 
  Ron

  Yes it’s common sense but it’s easy to forget the tips in this book. Reminds you to not forget your needs. Your physical and mental well being takes precedence. Balance it all. Yes do your duty. Give. But take time to chill out.
• 
  Samanta

  Very good for people who have struggle saying no. There’s a line from the book that stuck with me, remember No is a complete sentence. It’s a must read for everyone, having a chapter for communication styles and how we can use them effectively.
• 
  Alex baum

  Nothing groundbreaking. I tried to make notes on any big learning points, but only pulling out two sentences. It did achieve the goal of focusing my attention in my assertiveness and spotting situations where I could do better.
• 
  Celine

  Some interesting tid here and there. The end with the test and action plan didn’t do much for me though.
• 
  Luis Rivera

  Useful and practical, with a final monthly challenge that can help you to increase your levels of assertiveness. Great to have an overview of the subject.
• 
  Anant Jain

  #Amazing book. it's my personal suggestion for those who want to be assertive person, this book gonna help you. The best part of this book is it has practical ways.
  Give it a try.
• 
  Emma Emmanouela

  As a life long people pleaser trying to break this bad habit I found this book quite helpful and most of its content doable in real life situations