Parenting Scripts: When What You're Saying Isn't Working, Say Something New by Amber Lia

Parenting Scripts: When What You're Saying Isn't Working, Say Something New Reviews

• 
  Erica

  4.5⭐️
  So good! The authors always point back to the Bible being the basis for how we parent, how we discipline, and how we talk to our children. There are a lot of great ideas on ways to respond before the situation arises, and you find yourself reacting.
  I'll definitely be revisiting this one.
• 
  Susan Bazzett-Griffith

  Ugh. So I almost gave the book one star, because I did NOT like reading this, FOR ME. I didn't do my due dilligence before ordering this book and it is Super religious, to the point with regular biblical quotes and is clearly written with an intended audience of moms who are raising super churchy kids. On the other hand, while I had to skip over lots of it in order to glean anything from it, it is clear that this mom has some excellent insights in how to talk to kids, how to keep a cool head and the power of patience. So 2 stars, and to the right reader, I will admit it may be worthy of a higher rating, but not for anyone not particularly religious.
• 
  Jessica Vique

  Practical, super helpful & packed with biblical wisdom. I highly recommend!
• 
  Claire Johnson

  Maybe more like a 3.5 :)
  
  This book is a good follow-up to Triggers. If you struggle with what to say in a moment of discipline, this gives some good ideas or “scripts.” It has specific chapters that outline problems you may be having with your children and how to address them.
  
  I guess one of my criticisms would be that these “scripts” are great but they’re not quick fixes. Sometimes the authors make it seems like if I just respond this way my child will stay in bed (or not argue, or whatever). Which is obviously not true!
  
  BUT at least these words are God-honoring, gentle and loving, and not spur of the moment angry words.
  
  All in all, I would recommend Triggers first. If you feel like you want more in-depth help on certain things this is a good reference. I’ll keep it just to look at in the future if I have a certain problem I’m struggling to address, but I probably won’t re-read the whole book again.
• 
  Anne

  Surprisingly one of the best parenting books I've read, a great companion book to Triggers by the same authors. The main idea is to take a step back and think through what and how you really need to communicate to your children rather than reacting and spouting off at them in an emotionally driven way (my besetting sin!).
• 
  Erin Greneaux

  This book! Yes! This material was so helpful in creating scripts to use with difficult situations with my toddler. I will definitely be reading this again and again through the different seasons of motherhood. I highly recommend this book at all parents!
• 
  Lana Colby hurd

  Great boom on parenting. Give practical advice for everyday situations
• 
  Megan Mackey

  So many great practical tips for parenting! Loved this book!
• 
  Irina Trancă

  This is what I've been looking for and needed for the last almost 6 years! I only wish I had discovered it sooner!
• 
  Ada Tarcau

  I have expected more, considering the reviews. But perhaps I shoudn’t have. After all, it is mainly a book of scripts. Hardly ever has there been acomplished much just by mere talking, and when kids are involved, especially little kids (but perhaps all) talk can assist very little.
  Of course, the advice in the book goes beyond just what to say in key moments. And of course hearing and thinking through some well-thought examples of calm, loving, life-giving words can be helpful (especially as there are moments when we tend to talk without thinking, saying things we’d used to hear as children or around other parents over the time). And there were some chapters I felt i’ve gained from. I do like Wendy’s manner and wisdom. Especially the two chapters that call for silent-scripts. And some where I’ve identified most with the battles described (like discontentment in kids).
  But at the end of the day, who we are, how we think and how we walk is that really matters. When our hearts are in the right place, our mouths (who speak out of the ambundance of the former) will do what they ought. When we walk our talk, our words will be powerful. Otherwise, no matter how ingenious our ready-made scripts, they’ll fall flat on the ears of our children, especially as they grow and become more able to see through them.
• 
  Kendra

  Some parenting books I read out of curiosity, or preparation for a future challenge, or because I’m in need of a tuneup in the parenting department. And some parenting books I come to out of sheer desperation. Sadly, this was a desperation book: Luke and I have been at a loss with our kids of late and needed a new approach. The subtitle for this book (“When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working”) was a painfully fitting descriptor of our recent parent/child interactions, so when I heard the authors discussing the book on a Focus on the Family broadcast, I couldn’t hit play on this audiobook fast enough.
  
  We all know that what and how we speak to our children is important. Too often, though, we don’t put much thought into our words; we are reactive rather than intentional, and those instinctive words are. . . not great. We default to criticism and bargaining (or worse), and the messages we send are not only harmful to our children but ineffective in changing their actions or their hearts. With some practice and preparation, though, we can replace these poor interactions with scripts that address challenge areas and not only change their behavior but shape their hearts.
  
  Each of the book’s thirty chapters is written to a specific issue parents may struggle with, such as bedtime battles, laziness, tattling, and growing independence. After a brief introduction with scenarios from the authors’ lives, we are are given a succinct parenting script (verbiage around a specific lesson); Scripture to apply to the situation; a prayer; and ideas for adopting the script to your family’s unique needs.
  
  It might seem silly or desperate to turn to a book for exact ways to speak to my children, but I can’t begin to express how helpful this book has been. Nearly every one of the battles we’ve been facing with our kids is addressed here, and the scripts have been a game changer. Scripts for arguing, dissatisfaction, and weekends were especially pertinent, but it is the general approach of the book that I found most helpful. I needed this book’s reminder to invite the Lord into every moment of parenthood and to apply specific Scriptures to our daily interactions. I love the authors’ example of teaching children Scriptures and weaving them into our conversations and discipline—not to weaponize God’s Word, but to allow it to truly shape our kids’ behavior and hearts and minds, and our own. The regular reminders to talk less; to view parenting as a blessing rather than a burden; and to prioritize discipling my kids over my own temporary comfort were convicting but very much appreciated. I really loved the internal scripts (ways to speak to myself that will inform how I speak to my kids) and the marriage scripts to help spouses/coparents get on the same page, and I found the calm, confident, reassuring, truth-filled (but also compassionate) vibe of the book and of the specific scripts and prayers SO empowering.
  
  I listened to this one straight through and I liked consuming it this way as it gave me an overview of a general way to interact with my kids. After listening, I bought this on Kindle so that I can refer back to the specific scripts when issues arise. If you aren’t up for a straight read-through, this could easily be read on a chapter-by-chapter basis. I would say this is best suited for elementary aged kids, but many of the scripts will work well into the teen years and some have been useful with my toddlers, so there really is something here for parents of nearly all kids. My only caveat with this book is that it, like most books of this nature, makes it all seem a little too easy or straightforward; these ideas are great in theory but sometimes hard to implement. But although it may be challenging to bring these scripts into our everyday lives, I can attest to their effectiveness when put to the test.
  
  My Rating: 5 Stars // Book Format: Audiobook (Purchased on Kindle after reading to use for future reference.)
• 
  Jamie

  My Review of: Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying
  Isn’t Working,
  Say Something New
  
  By Wendy Speaker and Amber Lia
  
  The Help That Parents Need
  
  Parenting Scripts is a fantastic resource, giving parents hope and the help they need when struggling with their child's disobedience. Wendy Speake and Amber Lia have written a powerful resource for parents. It offers gentle responses with new ways of communicating with your children. Parenting at times can be overwhelming. Just as each child is different, so are the ways of parenting your children. Some days are wonderful, and then there are those exhausting days. The days when you are worn out and worn down. Nothing you say has an effect on your child's misbehavior. Now what??
  Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying
  Isn’t Working,
  Say Something New, is amazing. It showed me how to change my mindset, enabling me to have a different attitude because I can respond differently to my child. Each of the 31 chapters focuses on a different common parenting struggle. With personal stories, each chapter includes a prayer, scriptures to anchor your new responses, a suggested script or parenting response, and finally, practical applications for making the response your own. There is space to write your personal reflections.
  I have found hope for dealing with my parenting struggles, therefore, I very highly recommend Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying
  Isn’t Working,
  Say Something New. With Parenting Scripts, parents have a tool that is encouraging and a guide to talking with your child instead of at them. This book is a wonderful resource!
• 
  Laura A

  This book is amazing! If you love 'Triggers' then this is the perfect companion. I recommend reading this after 'Triggers'.
  
  This is a very practical book, giving ideas, or 'scripts' as they are called in the book, of actual words to say when your children 'tigger' a response in you due to their behaviour or what to say in cases of disobedience, that will nurture your relationship with your kids, lead them to make the right choice in the future and get out of the rut of shouting and anger, which may work at the time to get the behaviour YOU want as a parent at that time, but does not train or disciple biblically.
  
  The idea is that if you have the 'script' prepared in your head already, you will have the right words ready at the right time, instead of resulting to anger.
  
  Most importantly, the book is packed FULL of scripture, backing up your scripts with bible verses.
  
  There are lots of 'scripts' written by the authors and most of these may work with your family, but the authors make it clear to write your own scripts that will work with your family and family values.
  
  I listened to this on audio and immediately purchased a hard copy as I want to go through this as a study.
  
  Amazing - recommend to all parents, and especially those, like me, who have a strong desire to teach and discipline biblically but often don't know the right words in the moment!
• 
  Camille Turner

  I listened to this quickly, trying to access all the info as fast as I could; then I listened again, slowly, taking notes for the future.
  
  They have lots of good examples and cover various encounters you'll have as a parent. I'm glad to have both this and their Triggers book. I appreciate that they share their parenting scripts, but encourage you to come up with your own, because I really feel like some of theirs are either "cheesy", aren't me, or come across in a way I don't like. Ex. "How can you outdo" -- I'd have to adapt that one because I just don't like how it sounds like now you're competing to be nice.
  
  I appreciate that they recognize the difficulty in rattling off scripts when you're tired and emotional, but they include prayer scripts to show how you'll have to draw from the power of God to try to do his will. I also love how lots of what they say, falls in line with other parenting books I've read and approaches I've learned in education.
  
  I got a sense the author was a teacher, then she talked about having a high school student and I was like, "yep. I knew it". Some of this could be integrated into the classroom too--kind of a "Love and Logic" approach.
• 
  Ashley Scott

  I was very much looking forward to reading this book as soon as I heard it was coming out as it is the follow up to an awesome book called Triggers! I went through Triggers as a bible study with some friends of mine last year, and it has had a big impact on how I deal with my kids. It has helped me change how I deal with the anger and attitudes I’ve found myself having towards my kids, that are all too easy to slip into when dealing with all the stressors that come with raising kids and with life!
  
  Parenting Scripts has not disappointed as a followup! It is challenging me to think about the “scripts” I use with my kids, and where I need to be rewriting and replacing them with scripts that encourage and build my kids up, rather than tearing my kids down with discouraging words about what they have done wrong or are doing wrong. As a mom of 4 boys (Maybe 5!??) with a perfectionist personality, I find it much easier to be a drill sergeant than an encourager, and this book has further challenged me in the conviction I have been feeling this year about changing the way I speak to and encourage my kids.
• 
  Elisabeth Cammell

  I've only read the first few chapters, but this book has already had a major positive impact on my heart and our family. As a mom of four young boys (currently ages 1-8), I have been overwhelmed more times than I can count by the sheer emotion of surviving each day with spirited little people, and often in the heat of the moment--despite a wealth of biblical knowledge, educational training and experience, and even a ton of psychology and parenting reading under my belt--I go speechless and the "flight or fight" instinct takes over! Having Amber and Wendy's real-life (also boy mom) stories and suggestions to think and pray about, as well as their encouragement toward gentle, loving connection with our kids and personally living out the REAL script (SCRIPT-ure) is truly helping me put one foot in front of the other as a mom these days. I find myself more often able to face those situations with calm and grace because I've been better prepared. So thankful! Highly recommended to any parent who desires to gently lead their kids from a heart of love toward a full life hand-in-hand with the Lord (but knows how hard that is in the nitty gritty of daily life with kids)!
• 
  Erin Geiswhite

  Parenting Scripts has challenged and encouraged me to be wise in my communication with my three boys. Amber and Wendy write so clearly and season their advice with such grace. This book helps me reflect and has changed my heart to allow God to grow self-control, patience, and gentleness in me. The authors write from experience and as I read I feel a connection, a friendship, with them . The chapters are short which is great for the life of a mom, but they are packed with God's Truth. I recommend Parenting Scripts and their earlier book, Triggers, to all my mommy friends. Motherhood is tough, as we all know, and Amber and Wendy provide support and tools to do it well!
• 
  Jessica Reck

  I'm still crying my way through this book but it is excellent!! It's the companion I was waiting for ever since I read Triggers. I need these scripts in my life and need a better way to talk to my kids than the same old habits that aren't working. Each chapter is easy to read, filled with scripture and examples from everyday life. Amber and Wendy are genuine and real, down to earth mamas, who have kids and challenges of their own. They aren't perfect and they are gentle and not condemning in the way they teach us how to speak and what to say, using scripture and great examples. Love and highly recommend!!!
• 
  Whittney

  For families and caregivers looking for situation specific scripts that are based on evangelical values, and cite biblical verses for each topic. This seems to have been left out of the description on some websites, but it's the entire basis of the book.
  
  I'd recommend How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen by Joanna Faber and Julie King as a more in depth, additional (or alternative) read. It is secular but has a similar mindset of changing ourselves first to model the self regulation we are helping our kids develop, and giving specific phrases and tools to try. Also includes a section on adapting tools for non-neurotypical kids, which is not addressed in the scope of Parenting Scripts.
• 
  Lauren Terwilliger

  I absolutely LOVED this book! The authors both spoke from positions of experience and wisdom, thoughtfully crafted each chapter with specific situations every parent can relate to, and based their advice on Biblical truths that can be easily applied to the reader’s life. Now that I’ve finished the book, I plan to go back and make flash cards out of the scripts I want to integrate into my parenting so I can have them more readily available and remember to use them when situations come up. So thankful for the labor of love which produced this book, and now I need to read the first book Triggers!
• 
  Eileen Meals

  This book changed my life!
  This book came at the perfect time for me. I was at the end of my rope in my parenting style. "When what you are saying isn't working, try something different." This book gave me practical, easy to personalize, and valuable steps to take to improve my approach to discipline and just loving my kids in general.
  I also found myself using the points in this book with coworkers!
  Thank you Amber and Wendy for searching scripture and applying it in such a way that it has helped so many!
• 
  Lensey

  The subtitle sums up the book well--"when what you're saying isn't working, say something new." This book is full of many different scenarios that play out in every parents' daily life--whether your kiddo is 2 or 20. Each scenario is coupled with loving scripts to say in place of angry reactive words. I have tons of highlighted sections in my book--it really is full of a lot of sound advice. I know I'll be consulting these great scripts in the future. A great books for parents looking to raise children of character.
• 
  The Book Nest ~(Jenn McClure)

  Kind of like a sequel to their first book Triggers, but a little more in depth. Many times we read a book with great parental insight and advice, but it can often be difficult to know exactly how to apply it. Wendy and Amber give an abundance of scenarios and easy scripts to work into your own style so that the insight given then becomes easily applied to life as a parent. Fantastic follow up to the book Triggers. Definitely one I suggest for parents struggling, and let's be honest we all struggle at some point!
• 
  Abigail

  Normally I don’t believe in “Parenting Books.” This is not a parenting book, this is a life changing, soul seeking, God speaking, family altering companion. The authors are not only relatable, real moms, they are constantly pointing their readers to Christ as the only answer to any and all parenting challenges. Within the first day, I’m changing my view on myself, parenting, my kids and Jesus. Get this book!
• 
  Marianne

  This ranks as one of my favorite parenting books ever! If you are one desiring to speak life over your kids, parent with grace and reach the hearts of your child, this book is for you. The “parenting scripts” written in this book are what I think parents are longing for. They want to do better but what does that look like? The authors do an excellent job of showing their advice, and God’s word, put into practical application.
• 
  Abigail

  I don’t have words to convey how I feel about this book. I’ve been praying for a long time on how to break the cycle of yelling, crying and apologizing in my parenting. This is working! Through kind, gently guidance, Amber Lia and Wendy Speake guide you to turn your eyes to Christ as they parent alongside you. You will not regret reading this book...your kids will thank you for it!