| Title | : | The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 0470279494 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9780470279496 |
| Language | : | English |
| Format Type | : | Hardcover |
| Number of Pages | : | 176 |
| Publication | : | First published January 1, 2008 |
The No Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work Reviews
-
My book club selected this book after a manager at our company recommended it. To be clear, we picked it as a joke. I went in thinking I'd give it a good skim and a chuckle. I was wrong. This book sucked me in immediately because of HOW COMPLETELY TERRIBLE IT IS. I had to continue reading for entertainment. Allow me to share with you some of my favorite worst passages in this atrocious excuse for a book.
Exhibit A: Some fantastically awful character descriptions:
"He was a fast-talking northeasterner with wavy dark brown hair that was slicked back to expose his good-looking face."
Maybe his hair is thinning and he's attempting a comb-over. How do you know? More importantly, WHY DO WE CARE?
"He was a tall, thin, mild-mannered CEO whose focused, calm demeanor was shaped by his years coaching college basketball."
Have you ever seen a college basketball coach? Or any coach for that matter? They are generally the opposite of calm.
Hilarious and unrealistic outbursts from the ironically named protagonist, Hope:
"Just stay in your own lane. Don't you see I'm here! I pity the person who tries to mess with me right now."
First of all, let’s work on expanding your road range vocabulary. Second of all, stop watching movies with Mr. T in them.
“And yet we have to wonder why are there not more people skipping through our halls, smiling at coworkers, singing ‘Kumbaya,’ and loving their jobs?”
Maybe it’s because they don’t work at a summer camp.
“She knew by the sound of the ring. She knew because her heart started pounding. She knew because she knew.”
She knew because positivity in the workplace gives you psychic powers. And she had caller ID.
“She sat down, and for the first time since Mother’s Day five years ago, her kids served her a meal.”
Because she’s been keeping track, kids. She has a secret calendar with tick marks that she cries over EVERY NIGHT, wishing you would cook for her again.
People saying things three times:
"Hope, Hope, Hope. Where have you been?"
Spoken by Jim; we're only on pg. 3 of the book here people.
"Complainer! Complainer! You're calling me a complainer!"
Spoken by Hope's "strong-willed" 17-yr-old daughter.
"Hope, Hope, Hope." said by Dan, followed by, "Why does everyone have to say my name three times?" WE'RE WONDERING THE SAME THING!
“Good. Good. Good. But I expect you to get a lot done today….”
Say it again, Dan. In fact, why not add her name after each “good” too?
“She began to cry. And cry and cry. ‘Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.’”
THE POWER OF THREE COMPELS YOU!
A series of bad literary devices:
“Before heading into the house, she stopped to talk to the yard guy, who was applying his magic organic mixture to her lawn.”
What company is paying you to endorse organic farming?
“It occurred to her that cancer exists in both bodies and organizations. Yes, she agreed with Jim that these particular bloggers were jerks and she knew that, unfortunately, jerks existed in every organization. She thought of them as a kind of topical skin cancer. They don’t hide. They stand right in front of you and say, ‘Here I am.’ As a result you can easily and quickly remove them. Far more dangerous is the kind of cancer that is subtle and inside your body.”
See what he did there? Compared the nature of bloggers to skin cancer cells and simultaneously combined Hope’s personal and work problems with ONE analogy. Give this man a Pulitzer.
“Hope wondered if they had been drinking, but she didn’t smell anything, thank goodness. She later found out that they were infused with the intoxication of kindness and happiness.”
I think you mean cocaine.
“She knew she had won, but there were many more games yet to be played. The ultimate game—the game of life—was far from over.”
It’s true, that board game does take forever to play, and I always get stuck in that shitty duplex house with a million babies.
Female stereotypes:
The nurturing but no-nonsense nurse:
“‘The psychologists are wrong!’ shouted Joyce, raising her hand in the air.”
Science be damned! Let me give you a notecard from my church and a trendy, Lance Armstrong inspired bracelet to change your entire mindset!
“‘Now, that’s my girl,’” assured Joyce. ‘I’ll call you Monday with good news. I’m praying for good news.’”
Because as long as you stay positive and are contacted by a nurse from the hospital who inappropriately tells you she’s praying for you, there’s no way in hell cancer will think about entering your body.
The helpless divorcee:
“A tear fell down Hope’s cheek because she was so thankful there were still good men left in the world.”
Because knowing that even after her scallywag of a husband left her there are still men out there who won’t screw her over is just the motivation she needs to turn her life around.
“She would never be a world leader, ambassador, or CEO, but she knew that if she could empower people to turn their complaints and problems into solutions, then in some small way she would be doing her part to change her employees, her company, and, ultimately, the world.”
Yup, you’re right. Even after her new positive outlook has allowed her to have a completely new relationship with her children and given her body the ability to ward off cancer, there’s just no way it could foster something practical, like career advancement. After all, unlike the rest of her company’s management team, she’s a woman.
My FAVORITE worst passage of the entire book:
“After a few minutes she could feel a certain lightness come over her body. As if she had lost a hundred pounds of fear, stress, and emotional burden.*She got up, walked to her office window, and looked out to a beautiful blue sky with a bright full sun. And at that moment a flock of birds flew by. Hope laughed, knowing that this was her personal sign that miracles happen every day. She walked back to her computer and clicked on her music icon. She clicked to her favorite song, raised the volume as loud as possible, and danced around her office.”
*please note this is not a complete sentence
I think this passage speaks for itself. I almost threw up a little in my mouth. -
This is a light and insubstantial little book that tells us what we all probably already know: positivity breeds a better work environment. The book presents a quick action plan to weed out negativity in the work place. I'll save you the cheesy (and at times really sexist) novella: 1: understand the cost of negativity, 2: understand the no complaining rule, 3: define justified complaining vs mindless, 4: identify your complaint/solution process, 5: act on that process, 6: celebrate successes, 7: monitor and enforce the no-complaining rule, 8: act on the no-complaining tools, and 9: designate a no-complaining week.
And in theory, this all sounds good. The no complaining rule is essentially that there should be no complaining amongst employees; that when a person has a problem, they'll take it to a manager along with 1-2 solutions for that problem. And that when you complain to yourself, you should turn it into a positive. And I suppose that if you were a manager of a small staff who were all very enthusiastic about this idea, it could work beautifully. However, if you're just one employee with indifferent supervisors, this method isn't going to work well for you.
And a note about the writing itself: be prepared to middle though 120 pages of the worst allegory I've ever read. Hope (c'mon, really?) is the HR director at EZ Tech, a divorced mother of two who might have cancer and thinks all men are scum (except for her basketball-coach CEO, of course, who is adorable). Hope's life is turned around, though, when she meets nurse JOYce (just when you think it can't get worse...) who introduces her to the No Complaining Rule, which Hope then uses at her failing company. I feel like I could have taken the principles outlined here far more seriously if it hadn't been written as a Lifetime channel screenplay, and had the principles and action plan been better defined and fleshed out, it would have helped this book seem more valuable, but as it is, I recommend skipping this one. -
"You don't like your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYONE. We meet at the bar." --Drew Carey
Guess what, Jon? The only people who read this are managers who are trying to force their underlings into obedience and silence. This shit don't work in real life. Bitching and whining about work is what makes this nation great, and the day Jon Gordon stats slaving away in a cubicle, a factory, or a kitchen, I'll start caring about his opinion on workplace negativity.
"Say 'I get to' instead of 'I have to.'" Fine. You GET to have my fist on your face.
"Don't complain without offering two solutions." Fine. I can ask Brian to stop beating me or I can run away.
"Think of how things could be worse." Fine. Brian's foot's in my ass, but at least he's not coming at me from the front!
And yes, I'm not really going to go psycho on Jon. I don't know where he lives. Honestly, I kind of admire anyone who makes money off the misery of others. But no one will ever love you. And I don't want to hear you complain about that.
God, that was cathartic. It feels so damn good to COMPLAIN. -
It definitely did read a bit like an after school special - I could even imagine the accompanying music. And towards the end I did feel very 'blah blah syrup syrup' THE END. BUT - the principle is marvelous. That workplaces lose efficiency due to mindless complaining and that being able to foster and grow a more positive environment was crucial to success. Love the idea, which can be summed up in the quote below, but didn't like the fable way it was shared.
quote:
Employees are not allowed to mindlessly complain to their coworkers. If they have a problem or complaint about their jobs, their company, their customer, or anything else, they are encouraged to bring the issue to their manager or someone who is in a position to address the complaint. However the employees must share one or two possible solutions to their complaint as well.
The idea being to nourish the grass so that it grows so much the weeds have no place on the lawn. -
4.25 stars // this book came at just the right time for me. It's not a new idea, "turn a complaint into a solution" but it was well explained against the backdrop of a personal story that is compelling and relatable. It's a slim book (2 hours at most). For anyone that's in a crisis or having a hard time, reading this book will bring a sliver of light back into a dark time and help change your circumstances immediately. It's definitely got some cheesemo going on, but the cheesy quirkiness is part of the charm.
-
I like the concepts, but they get bogged down by the goofy "story" that frames them. The next time I think a professional book needs to be more narrative and less didactic, I'll remember this one and count my blessings.
-
Wow. This was a great parable-like book with practical tools and steps to the importance of not complaining. And I love that it doesn’t just say no complaining, because that in and of itself is not realistic or practical. But there are tips as to what to do when you do catch yourself complaining, as well as how to differentiate between critical/mindless complaining and useful complaining.
I really enjoyed this and am planning to go back through it with a notebook and start implementing these in my family and business. -
ด้วยความที่อะไรหลายๆอย่างไม่ถูกใจในที่ทำงาน
ทำให้บางครั้งก็เผลอบ่นออกไปโดนไม่ทันคิด หลังๆเริ่มรู้ตัวเเละหยุดบ่น เลยลองหาหนังสือเกี่ยวกับการบ่นก็เลยได้เล่มนี้เเหละ ขอรีวิวคนเเรกเลยละกัน
ตัวเล่มเนื้อหาไม่หนามาก เล่มเล็ก อ่านง่าย
นำเสนอในรูปเเบบของนิยาย เเอบขัดใจเล็กน้อยตรงรูปเเบบการนำเสนอ อ่านไปสักหน่อยกว่าจะเริ่มเข้าประเด็น ตามชื่อหนังสือ ตามสิ่งที่ต้องการจะรู้
เเต่อ่านไปอ่านมา ค่อนข้างจะเน้นเกี่ยวกับองค์กรในที่ทำงานเป็นหลัก เเละบอกเเค่เพียงวิธีเเก้เพียงน้อยนิด เลยไม่ค่อยรู้สึกถึงประโยชน์ต่อตนเองสักเท่าไหร่
เเอบเสียดายเงินนะเนี่ย ผิดหวังกับชื่อหนังสือเเละรูปเเบบการนำเสนอที่ไม่ได้อยู่ในรูปของ fact เสียจริง -
It is a very simple book and very quick to read. I liked the key message and some good tips how to implement the no complaining rule. And John Gordon is always interesting and worthwhile.
-
Short, easy read, but I loved the concept of this book. I especially loved how it put the concept into a story, as this made it easier to visualize what this concept would look like in action.
-
Complaining serves little purpose, hurts and kills productivity and moral.
One negative person can create a miserable environment for everyone else.
Complaining and negative emotions are associated with decreased life span, fewer friends, increased risk of heart attack, more stress and no success.
Do not complain to anyone other then your supervisor/management and be prepared to give a solution to that which you complain about! It's not that you should ignore things that are wrong or not working, but you should focus on solve the problems instead of passive complaining and negativity. Focus on Solutions instead of Problems!
Instead of complaining: Practice gratitude; Praise others and focus on what they’re doing right; Focus on success: start a success journal. Before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day; Let go. Let go of the things that are beyond your control; Pray and meditate. -
Business Motivation is not a genre I typically read. Yet, The No Complaining Rule contained plenty of good reminders. My favorite was: complaining is an adult form of crying. But the writing was bottom shelf and the whole thing had a didactic tinge that I've been allergic to since I was a young reader.
Biblical parables often make one ponder and work to tease out a meaning. The moral of this parable was, in a sense, underlined, emboldened, and repeated in case you missed it. -
A good book to read in case you are surrounded by negative thoughts or if you are continually wasting your time on complaining about the situation you are, the problems you are facing with etc. The good point about the book is that it can be applied both in working life and personal life.
-
It's possible to turn negative behavior in to postive actions, but it needs to happen from the top down.
-
Kind of cheesy story, but a really good idea. Now to implement this at work and in life...
-
A quick read containing some practical examples of how to implement a more positive culture in your personal and professional life. I like that someone can pick up this book, read it in one sitting, and immediately implement the directives and see results. No extensive study is required.
One of my favorite quotes that introduced the theme of the book came not from the author, but from Coach Lou Holtz: "Don't complain. Eighty percent of the people you complain to don't care and 20% are glad you have problems." Therefore, when you complain, your audience is either not actually listening, hoping you will shut up, or is struggling to disguise their pleasure at your misfortunes. That alone is enough to give you second thoughts about airing your grievances.
But isn't it healthy to express yourself and get it out of your system?
This commonly held belief is addressed in the book!
Later, author Jon Gordon advises readers to "stop being disappointed about where you are and start being optimistic about where you are going." To this end, some of the great takeaways he includes are "The 3 No Complaining Tools" and "5 Things to Do Instead of Complain."
I found it intriguing near the end of the book that the Gallup Organization once conducted research and discovered that there was an 80% correlation between the worst experiences of someone's life and the best experiences.
Oftentimes, out of the adverse circumstances we find ourselves in, something great emerges that we would never have otherwise experienced. Although that isn't always the case, it is worth remembering as we go through trials that it is at least a very good possibility that better times are ahead and that we'll ultimately be able to look back on the tough times and see how it shaped our resolve or led to some measure of success as a result. -
Read this as part of some initiative at my school.
If you love cheesy, poorly written Christian films, then you’ll love this. Although, it isn’t clear if Hope actually gets saved in the end.
Look, this book has a few good points on how to shift your thinking. I’ve actually been using them for years. But the way it’s presented here is just *too* neat. Not to mention too brief. I honestly found the story aspect of the book to be a hindrance to the message that Gordon was trying to get across.
It’s also weird to me to see a story try to interweave God into the mix without actually knowing anything about Him. For example, the whole idea of positivity in the book comes off as “positive vibes” that’s so prevalent in our culture. This is seen towards the beginning of the book when Hope’s boss, essentially, tells her to “just get over” the fact her husband left her a few months prior, in quite possibly the most manipulative fashion I’ve seen that’s reminiscent of 50 Shades. Yes, THAT 50 Shades of Grey. To add insult to injury, the questionnaire in the back includes a question asking if you share your problems with others. If you choose strongly agree, it counts against you. Those well versed in the Bible (above a 3rd grade reading level even), know that it’s a good thing to carry one another’s burdens. It’s how we survive trials.
It’s clear to me that Gordon knows more about “positive vibes” than he does Christianity.
Overall, I’m glad this book is short (120 pages in total). There are a few good points covered up by a poorly written story. But this is better served as a blog post than a book. -
I have not read this book but I have heard some of the stories at the beginning of this book. Very strange.
I have often hated the idea of no complaining when people use it as a way to stop observations of problem. Eventually this book does talk about bringing problems to right person to help with solution and to come with solutions. I agree that complaining can become a habit. “Problem solvers instead of problem sharers”. Just a little worried about projecting the Rule without the Solution begin how this roles out in workplaces.
A bit too much story for me and not enough of how to move this forward. The last 1/4 is the most important part - story is about looking at solutions too.
Overall a quick read and introduction to this topic. Or a refresher for those who have been sucked back into negative energy. -
Parable style, motivational book. I don’t think this book was as well done as others I’ve read. But I’m always happy to read a book reminding me to stay positive.
The most helpful part of this book, to me, is the suggestion that for every meaningful complaint, you must come up with 1-2 solutions to fix it in the future. -
Este libro es muy sencillo de leer y me ha gustado bastante. Confirma mi creencia de que la queja sin fundamento ni lleva a ninguna parte, y recalca la importancia de proponer soluciones siempre. Lo cuenta en forma de historia, cuya protagonista sufre este cambio de mentalidad.
-
This didn’t have the wow impact that The Energy Bus did but I was in a different frame of mind when listening to The Energy Bus. However, The No Complaining Rule has more subtle actions for less extreme negativity. I think the actions in The No Complaining Rule will be easier to implement. I will start at home and hopefully be able to take it to my staff at work.
-
Full of good ideas. Somewhat predictable, but an overall good message AND there are some practical applications as well.
-
Very simple premise; don’t complain unless there’s something you can/will do about it. Definitely helped to avoid any daily complaining for the sake of complaining.
-
Meh. Very unrealistic in any work environment I’ve ever been part of. I appreciated the plea to stop complaining and look on the bright side, but certainly not enough to recommend this read.
-
Cheesy, should only be half as long, but decent message
-
I find the title somewhat glib, but I did enjoy the message.
-
Hi Guys!
One of you…. You know who you are…. Shared a VERY inspirational book with me today that I was compelled to share with all of you. It is called The No Complaining Rule by Jon Gordon. It is a story about a woman who has lots of things going amiss in her life- we all have that number right! ;) Anyhow…. At work things heat up and simultaneously she finds out that she needs to go to the hospital for some important tests because she might have breast cancer. What could be worse???? She is angry… tired of it all and frustrated and cannot stand another little thing and when she gets to the hospital there is a worker there called Joyce. In Joyce’s area there is a sign that says NO COMPLAINING! It is infuriating to the woman that is there for the tests and she speaks up. Joyce talks about mindless complaining which is a repeat performance of all that has been going on over and over and over and then there is mindful complaining where positive solutions are sought. Before the patient leaves her office Joyce gives her a card that has 3 tools written out on it and a bracelet that says Be Positive. The excerpt from this book may or may not resonate but I thought it was awesome and wanted to share it with those I care most about so….. I hope you will read and enjoy it as much as I did!!!!! And since I do not have a bracelet for each of you…. Wear an imaginary one on your wrist from me that says “B Positive with me!”
_____________________________________
Three No Complaining Tools (taken directly from page 49):
1. The But- Positive Technique: This simple strategy helps you turn your complaints into positive thoughts, solutions, and actions. It works like this. When you realize you are complaining, you simply add the word BUT and then add a positive thought or positive action. Example:
*I don’t like driving to work for an hour BUT I am thankful I can drive and that I have a job.
*I don’t like that I am out of shape BUT I love feeling great so I am going to focus on exercising and feeling great.
2. Focus on “Get To” instead of “have To” Too often we complain and focus on what we have to do. We say things like “I have to do this or that” “I have to go to work” I have to drive here.” Instead, shift your perspective and realize that it’s not about having to do anything. You get to do things. You get to live this life. You get to work while so many are unemployed. You get to drive in traffic while so many don’t have a car or are too sick to travel. Focus on what you get to do. Focus on feeling blessed instead of stressed. Focus on gratitude.
3. Turn complaints into solutions. The goal is not to eliminate all complaining. The intent is to eliminate the kind of mindless complaining that does not serve the greater purpose and allow complaining that is justified and worthwhile. The opposite of mindless complaining is justified complaining. The former is negative and the latter is positive. The difference is intent. With mindless complaining you are mindlessly focusing on problems. However, with justified complaining you identify a problem and the complaint moves you towards a solution. Every complaint represents an opportunity to turn a negative into a positive.
_________________________
So…. With all of this in mind- I hope you check the book out! I LOVED it! But more importantly- I am going to try hard to use this technique in my own life. I think I am positive for the most part but my recent life events have made me be a little bit of a negative bug. For 2012 I am going to try (starting now) to be on a complaining fast (at least the negative kind ;)
Have a GREAT new year early!!!!!! I intend to!
