The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child by Daniel J. Siegel

The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child Reviews

• 
  Heather

  Reading parenting books, for me, doesn’t mean taking every bit of advice and utilizing it exactly how it’s presented. I use parenting books as resources for improvement. I take what I’ve learned and apply it in a way that works for my kid and my family dynamic.
  
  The authors of this book don’t shove their agenda down your throat. They offer suggestions on how and what to improve and let you do with that what you will. I didn’t feel manipulated or judged in any way. It was inclusive text that is strictly meant to educate the reader, and help foster emotional maturation within our children. It was like talking to a professional friend of sorts. I also really respect that their methods apply to kids of all ages and they offer suggestions for how to approach different methods with children in varying age groups.
  
  There are a lot of useful tips in this book, ones I very much intend to put to good use and some that I already have used. Right hand on heart, left hand on belly, take a deep breath until you are relaxed and then discuss how and what you feel. My son has already been doing this one very simple thing and he is able to calm down and communicate with me in a coherent, logical way. (However coherent and logical a 5 year old can be, that is.) I’ve tried that method myself and it does work. It’s such an oddly simplistic way to return to equilibrium, or what’s known as “The Green Zone.”
  
  The greatest lesson I’ve taken away from this book are the 3 color zones. The Green Zone, which is a level-headed, calm and introspective zone where the child feels comfortable with their feelings, can easily communicate them and learns from the experience. The Red Zone, where children are essentially “seeing red”, leaves them unable to, and incapable of, communicating their feelings, and because they are experiencing negative emotions, are not in a position to learn from that experience. Lastly, The Blue Zone, which is when the child turns inward and essentially shuts down as a way to subconsciously protect themselves, which, again, leaves them incapable of learning from that experience and connecting with their feelings. The Green Zone = “A Yes Brain.”
  
  The book emphasizes change specifically with how we approach our children and reiterates that it will take practice; a lifestyle change. These ideas will then, hopefully, transcend generations and our children will be able to help their children, who will in turn help their children, so on and so forth.
  
  This is not to say that the rest of the content isn’t useful and/or does not provide helpful tools, because it does. However, my focus moving forward will be to find ways for him to escape the red or blue zone and return into the green zone, so he can experience situations with “A Yes Brain” frame of mind.
  
  The main focus of this book is to help our children become self-aware, and provide them with the necessary tools to respond and react in the appropriate ways, in both positive and negative situations, and to reiterate to children that ALL feelings are important and deserve to be felt, but there are both appropriate and inappropriate ways to express said feelings. I also found the chapter about empathy specifically helpful because I think empathy is something a lot of people lack (which is clearly evident in the divisive nature of our current political climate, to give just one example.) It essentially states that we need to lead by example.
  
  That said, here comes the negative stuff I have to say. The title is a little off to me. I don’t feel like this taught me very much about how to cultivate courage OR curiosity in my child, and if it did, it wasn't anything I didn't already know. Resilience, very much so. I felt this was focused more on the color zones, which is all fine and well and produced a nice result, but the title seems misleading, which some people might not appreciate despite the riveting content. I also found this to be quite repetitive throughout the entire course of the book.
  
  I always want to make improvements to my parenting, and I’m always open to constructive criticism. (At least I like to believe that, anyway.) I have nothing to lose by reading parenting books. Raising a child will be the most important and monumental thing I ever do. If improving how I do that job means reading more books, even better! This book in particular was very helpful for me. I discussed several of these ideas with other Moms and the feedback was all positive. I do intend to recommend this book to quite a few people. I also intend to look into other books by these same authors. I really enjoyed reading this and appreciate their insights and suggestions.
  
  Thank you to NetGalley, Daniel Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson and Random House Publishing Group for a digital ARC of this novel in exchange for an honest review.
• 
  Dez the Bookworm

  Perfect follow up to ‘The Whole Brain Child’. I suggesting getting all three of their books as it draws a more complete picture of how your child works and you can be a better parent.
  
  These books changed us as parents and it’s helped our children to be happier and well adjusted. They are able to communicate better with us about their feelings and we now have almost no meltdowns.
  
  Yes. Get the books. You’ll be so happy you did.
• 
  Yelda Basar Moers

  This is one of the best parenting books I have ever read and strongly encourage all parents to get it! Wholly intelligent, insightful and helpful, while engaging and easy to read, it’s a rare find! Review to come!
• 
  Ell

  The Yes Brain: How to Cultivate Courage, Curiosity, and Resilience in Your Child is an educative book to help adults foster secure, competent and confident kids in the 21st century. Who doesn’t want the best for their children? The best we can give them, the authors postulate, is to instill courage, positivity and resilience to empower them to create a fulfilling life. However, constant digital distractions and hectic schedules may very well be impeding that which we want most for our children….self-regulation, competence and well-being. Useful, practical strategies to help children thrive are provided by the same authors who wrote The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline. Bottom line, if you are interesting in helping guide your children to embrace life more fully and become more self-regulated and well-rounded, you’ll want to pick up a copy of this book.
• 
  Audrey Monke

  This book is so good ... and not just as a “parenting” book. It’s a book about all of us and what we need to thrive in life — a balanced life spent mostly in our “green zone,” resilience, insight about ourselves and our emotions, and empathy. I appreciate Siegel and Bryson’s suggestions for parenting our kids into their Yes Brains, but the insights and ideas about myself are equally powerful. This quick read has shot to the top of my “must reads” for parents. Even if you’re not a parent, you can learn about promoting your own “Yes Brain” for a more meaningful and connected life.
• 
  Alex Rohani

  Have kids? Read this. Work with kids? Read this. Plan on having kids? Read this. Want to be that cool aunt or uncle? Read this. Building resilience, empathy, insight and balance in kids is often put by the wayside but think they need more attention? Read this.
• 
  Charlie Moynahan

  Couldn’t understand how this book could be touted as scientific and evidence based, without a single cited piece of evidence? There’s nothing there that the authors show that is backed up by any science or research of any kind.
  
  That being said, it’s difficult to take the material for much worth other than what the authors are proposing as fact. And for that, The Whole Brain Child is enough and covers what they attempt here just fine.
• 
  Nicole Sterling

  I was really torn between giving this book 3 stars and 4 stars, but I decided to round up. I haven't really read any other parenting books, so I don't have anything to compare this one to, but I feel like I came away from this reading with some new ideas to try with my son. The book is all about trying to help your child develop his/her "Yes Brain," which consists of a brain that is balanced, resilient, insightful, and empathic. According to the authors, the Yes Brain is "a neurological state that helps children (and adults) approach the world with openness, resilience, empathy, and authenticity," whereas a No Brain "involves the activity of lower, more primitive regions of the brain."* Basically, with a Yes Brain, kids learn to pause and respond to problems, while kids with a No Brain react instinctively.
  
  There was a lot of talk about the Green Zone, as well as the Red & Blue Zones. The Green Zone is where we all want to be - we're just going about our daily lives and things are going well. When there is a conflict of some sort, whether internal or external, we can be pushed out of the Green Zone, and either land in the Red Zone (tantrums, yelling, biting, saying hateful things) or the Blue Zone (withdrawing, becoming silent & sullen). A lot of the book discusses ways to increase the size of our kids' Green Zones by learning helpful strategies for dealing with stressors without leaving the Green Zone, and also ways to help our kids return to the Green Zone more quickly when they do end up in the Red or Blue Zone.
  
  The book also discussed the difference between external achievements and goals, versus internal achievements and goals. As parents, we all want our children to lead successful lives, but what does success entail, exactly? The authors argue, and I tend to agree, that the outward successes are not the most important kind. While it is great to make straight As, win the state football championship as your high school team's quarterback, and be voted Homecoming King, if you don't know how to handle the highs and lows that everyone experiences, it's going to be very hard to navigate life once you're out in the real world.
  
  Overall, I thought this was a helpful and informative book. There were times it felt repetitive, which I am sure is helpful for making sure things sink in, and not being a huge reader of nonfiction books, there were times that I had to make myself keep reading. However, I really liked the different sections of each chapter and thought the set up was very effective. The chapters start out with examples of a child who is dealing with an issue, and then explain how that child was helped using Yes Brain strategies. Then, there was more detail of the strategies and the reasoning behind why they work. After that, there was a section about specific ways to work on that strategy with your own child, and that was followed by ways to enhance your own Yes Brain in that particular area. I am definitely going to have my husband read this book so we can be on the same page & try some of these strategies with our son.
  
  Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC copy I received. My thoughts were entirely my own and were not influenced in any way by receiving this free digital copy. Any sections of the book that I quoted were from the pre-published book and may not be the exact wording in the final published copy of the book.
• 
  Farrah

  This took me a couple months because, like all parenting books, it’s not exactly a page-turner. : ) I’m giving it a 3 in comparison to other parenting books. This one was good, but I’ve read similar ones that were better/more impactful for me personally. Lots of stuff about using empathy, helping kids practice dealing with difficult emotions and become more self-disciplined vs parent disciplined.
  
  An important note:
  
  “if you want a single reason to be patient with your child when he’s melting down or being unreasonable, this is it: his brain isn’t fully formed yet and he is - at least at times - literally incapable of controlling his emotions and body.”
  
  
• 
  Carrie Lynn

  I really liked the “zones” visual and that they gave you words you could use to explain the principles to kids. Other than that it was a lot of stuff I already knew (“playing is good for children!”) and references to their other books.
• 
  Melissa Espiritu

  I’m rushing to write this review because my son’s karate class is about to end. To that point, after finishing this book, I have to question if I am already over scheduling my kid with sports and other enrichment activities.
  
  I’ve read most of Siegel and Bryson’s collaborations so far. I really appreciate all of them for different reasons. No-Drama Discipline gives the most practical advice for how to discipline your child. And the Whole Brain Child feels like it sets the framework for Siegel and Bryson’s research on child development and parenting (although I think you can skip it and go straight to No Drama Discipline).
  
  What I love about this one is that it gets to the heart of what most parents desire for their children, which is to raise happy people that are authentic to themselves and prepared for life. That is what is missing from the other two books even if they do cover their topics with that premise in mind.
  
  As usual, Siegel and Bryson make it easy for us to chew on such abstract concepts by categorizing their research into 4 basic premises, using plenty of graphics, creating acronyms, summarizing with a “refrigerator” cheat sheet, and now drawing cartoon strips you can use to teach your children the concepts covered in the book.
  
  My favorite graphic is the Healthy Mind Platter that depicts the healthy brain activities that we should partake in daily in order to best nourish our brain.
  
  The authors could have beefed up on the practical strategies parents can use to develop resilience, balance, insightfulness, and empathy in their children. But truly, no complaints here.
  
  Besides the obvious recommendation to parents, this book is great for anyone who works with youth and anyone who is interested in emotional intelligence and brain development.
  
  
• 
  Özgür Balmumcu

  Çocuk ve ebeveynlik üzerine yeni okumaya başlayanlar için ideal, alana aşina olanlar için vasat bir kitap. Hele ki içgörü ve empati gibi meselelere dair okumalarınız da varsa geçmişten, okuma deneyimi iyice ilgi çekici olmaktan uzaklaşıyor. Çünkü kitap büyük ölçüde yeni bir şey söylemekten uzak ve bir nevi tekrar niteliğinden öteye geçemiyor. Yöntem üzerinden de ufuk açıcı değil bence. Beyni bölümlere ayırdığı ve bunları açıkladığı, bunların yaşamla bağlarını ortaya koyduğu kısımlar ilgi çekiciydi. Kitabın Evet ve Hayır Beyni ayrımıyla bazı meselelere yönelik farkındalığım da gelişti. Ancak genel olarak fazla basit kaldığını düşündüğüm, güçlü bağlar kuramadığım bir eser oldu. Elbette bu alanda yeni okumaya başlamış birçok ebeveyni dikkate aldıkları düşünülerek bu basitlik mazur görülebilir. Ancak okuma deneyimi açısından olumlu etkiler bırakmadığı da aşikâr. Bir de böyle metinler ister istemez bir noktadan sonra direktif verir pozisyona düşüyor; şöyle yapın, böyle yapın. Bu yöntem, farkındalığı düşük bireyler için etkili olsa bile neyi yapamadığının farkında olanlar için motive edici olmaktan uzak. Ve dürüst olmak gerekirse günümüzün hız kazanmış koşturmaca yaşamında bu önerilerin çoğuna vakit ayırmak ve dönüşmek de çok zor ebeveyn için. Neyse ana temalara çok girmeyeyim, her okur kendi payına düşeni çıkarır. Sonuç olarak, kitabın kolay anlaşılır bir üslubu ve basit bir dili var. Okuması kolay, temel düzeyde fikir oluşturması açısından da yararlı.
• 
  Anna Urbanovič

  Knygoje nėra "amerikos atradimų", tačiau labai naudinga pakartoti senas žinomas tiesas. Ypač, kai tas liečia vaikus O ir medžiaga pateikta labai sistemingai, aiškiai ir nuosekliai. Rekomenduočiau tėvams, kurie "nu jau išvis nebežinau, ką su tuo vaiku daryti!.." Ir toliau nežinosit, bet jau ramiau :)
• 
  Fantastiškų KŽL

  
  knyguziurkes.wordpress.com/2018/08/14...
• 
  Ingrida Stragienė

  Patiko knygos grafiškumas. Gana daug informacijos pateikiama per iliustracijas ir realius pavyzdžius. Pabaigoje yra santrauka, kas gali būti naudinga ir sudėlioja visus taškelius ant i.
• 
  Jaclyn

  I feel this book helps set a really great foundation on dealing with potential child tantrums. I feel better prepared for these after reading this book!
• 
  Parisa Assar

  This book could have been 20 pages or simply an article. It lacked the substance and significance of the additional contribution/book which you would expect from Daniel Siegel.
• 
  Alina Feher-Gavra

  Extremely relevant book for any parent!
• 
  Steph

  I’m a big fan of Dan but felt that after reading his other parenting books, there wasn’t quite enough here that was new. It’s a new frame but most of the concepts are covered in the Whole Brain Child which also has a broader range of practical strategies and examples.
  
  That said, as a stand-alone parenting it’s interesting, practical, useful and evidence based so I would recommend it, particularly for parents of primary-school aged kids.
• 
  Olivera Vukašinović

  Ako treba da pročitate samo jednu knjigu o razvoju i sazrevanju dečjeg mozga, neko to bude ova. Sjajni Siegel, kao i uvek, piše pitko objašnjavjući neurološke procese lako da prosečni roditelj bez ikakvog predznanja u oblasti sve može da shvati. Odlični primeri i ilustracije.
• 
  Fatma Akyürek Aytekin

  Çocuklara evet beyni yaklaşımı vererek onların denge, psikolojik dayanıklılık, içgörü ve empati özelliklerini geliştirmenin, gerçek dünyada onları bekleyen güçlüklerle başedebilmelerine yarayacak donanımları sağlayacağını akıcı bir dille anlatmış yazarlar.
• 
  Hirdesh

  Wow !!
  It's a fantastic guide to know child-psychology and how to uplift the future of world..
  Though being single, I felt glad to read it.
  Highly Recommended to parents !!!
  
  •Yes Brain
  
  oFlexible, curious, resilient, willing to try new things and even make mistakes.
  
  oOpen to the world and relationships, helping us relate to others and understand ourselves.
  
  oDevelops an internal compass and leads to true success because it prioritizes the inner world of a child and looks for ways to challenge the child’s whole brain to reach its potential.
  
  •No Brain
  
  oReactive and fearful, rigid and shut-down, worrying that it might make a mistake.
  
  oTends to focus on external achievement and goals, not on internal effort and exploration.
  
  oMight lead to gold stars and external success, but does so by rigidly adhering to convention and the status quo and becoming good at pleasing others, to the detriment of curiosity and joy.
  
  The Four Fundamentals of the Yes Brain
  •Balance: a skill to be learned that creates emotional stability and regulation of the body and brain
  
  oLeads to the green zone, where kids feel calm and in control of their bodies and decisions.
  
  oWhen kids are upset they may leave the green zone and enter the revved-up, chaotic red zone, or the shut-down, rigid blue zone.
  
  oParents can create balance by finding the “integration sweet spot.” Balance comes from being appropriately differentiated and linked.
  
  oBalance Strategy #1: Maximize the ZZZ’s—provide enough sleep.
  
  oBalance Strategy #2: Serve a Healthy Mind Platter—balance the family’s schedule.
  
  •Resilience: a state of resourcefulness that lets us move through challenges with strength and clarity
  
  oShort-term goal: Balance (getting back in the green zone). Long-term goal: Resilience (expanding the green zone). Both goals lead to the ability to bounce back from adversity.
  
  oBehavior is communication, so instead of focusing solely on extinguishing problematic behavior, listen to the message, then build skills.
  
  oSometimes kids need pushin’, and sometimes they need cushion.
  
  oResilience Strategy #1: Shower your kids with the four S’s—help them feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure.
  
  oResilience Strategy #2: Teach mindsight skills—show kids how to shift their perspectives so they are not victims to their emotions and circumstances.
  
  •Insight: the ability to look within and understand ourselves, then use what we learn to make good decisions and be more in control of our lives
  
  oThe observer and the observed: be the spectator observing the player on the field.
  
  oThe power is in the pause that lets us choose how we respond to a situation.
  
  oInsight Strategy #1: Reframe pain—ask kids, “Which struggle do you prefer?”
  
  oInsight Strategy #2: Avoid the Red Volcano eruption—teach kids to pause before erupting.
  
  •Empathy: the perspective that allows us to keep in mind that each of us is not only a “me,” but part of an interconnected “we” as well
  
  oLike the other skills, empathy can be learned through daily interactions and experiences.
  
  oIt’s about understanding the perspective of another, as well as caring enough to take action to make things better.
  
  oEmpathy Strategy #1: Fine-tune the “empathy radar”—activate the social engagement system.
  
  oEmpathy Strategy #2: Establish a language of empathy—provide a vocabulary that communicates care.
  
  oEmpathy Strategy #3: Expand the circle of concern—increase kids’ awareness of people outside their most intimate connections
• 
  Michael Huang

  This is a book about how to understand the plasticity of the human brain — especially that of the children’s — and practical tips of dealing with different situations more appropriately. If you follow the tips, you can help the four aspects of a positive mindset termed the yes brain: balance, resilience, insight, and empathy.
  
  Balance: it’s important to remember that kids lose control for one simple reason: their brains aren’t developed enough. They don’t like being out of control. Help them recognize different feelings. For instance green zone for being in control, red zone for being anxious and afraid, blue zone for being sad and upset. Gradually help them realize that they have (at least some) control over these emotions and can regain balance.
  
  Resilience: After understanding the zones and able to regain balance, you need encourage your kids to be resilient. A kid who can better calm herself down will be able to handle failures much better.
  
  Insight: When you are on the verge of snapping, take a deep breath and pretend to be a spectator. The ability to understand the emotions at play in different situations is insight. Practice that yourself, and teach your kids to do that.
  
  Empathy: An example in the book is a kid whose parents are worried about him because he bullies classmates, but the kid turned out an adolescent full of empathy. This shows that empathy (and other traits) are not fixed but can be molded thanks to brain plasticity. Take a moment to tell them about other unfortunate people; Help them build an empathetic vocabulary; Pay full attention to your kid so that they form the habit of listening to others.
  
  Just listening to the blinks (from Blinkist) already made me realize my many mistakes dealing with my easily-upset kid. So I expect reading the full-length book to yield incremental insights. But a quick browse of reviews seems to suggest that this particular book is a bit of rehash of some earlier work (very good ones at that) by the same authors.
• 
  Micah

  Siegel and Bryson created the concept of the Yes Brain, an open-minded outlook that says “yes” to the world and takes hardships in stride. Siegel and Bryson focused on how to teach your child, and yourself, about “red and green zones” in order to emotionally regulate. They emphasized the importance of not overreacting or putting negative labels on a child based on them not meeting unrealistic expectations, because the child might just be doing what is developmentally normal for them. It discussed how helicopter parenting tells a child that they are not capable of accomplishing tasks by themselves. They also discussed the importance of balance between providing opportunities for the child to learn and grow while not overbooking them.
  
  While I loved the concepts that they discussed, I did not think it was one of Siegel and Bryson’s stronger books. That could have been due to listening to the audio book. They continually were referring to graphics or lists in a “PDF attachment” that I didn’t have access to due to it being a library audiobook.
• 
  Rachel (R.L.)

  The books of Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson are some of the most helpful, liberating, and enlightening books on my parenting shelf, and THE YES BRAIN is no exception. With helpful examples from their therapy careers and their experience raising kids, Siegel and Bryson equip parents with specific techniques and practices guaranteed to strengthen their relationships with their children and, at the same time, better understand how to raise kids to become who they were made to be. Empowering, helpful, life-changing.
• 
  Courtney Packer

  Emotions are tough to handle at any age. This book gave great tools for me as a parent to use not only for myself but for my 5 and 1 year old. Parenting books in the past have felt really overwhelming it I like the approach of these authors and how the apply it from 0-teenage years. I learned a lot for myself on how I want to model behavior, and emotions for my children so they can learn to work through them with more empathy, and resilience.
• 
  David Drummond

  Good ideas and abstractions for enabling children to have equanimity, resilience, self-awareness, and empathy. The tips in here are as useful for the parents as the children, and I especially enjoyed the small sections that are designed to help parents not lose their cool while their kids are having a meltdown. Nonetheless, many of the concepts are repeated from the previous book by these authors, the Whole Brained Child.