The Abstinence Teacher by Tom Perrotta

The Abstinence Teacher Reviews

• 
  David

  JESUS WANTS YOU ........ TO GROW A PAIR.
  
  Tommy, Tommy, Tommy! How did such a promising young literary stud like yourself turn out to be such an emasculated whore? When did things start to go so horribly, horribly wrong?
  
  Let me be clear. When I picked you up at the airport in San Francisco, it was with entirely clear-eyed, realistic expectations. Let's face it. I wasn't looking for the literary love of my life. Just a two-plane romance - enough to while away the time it takes to get from SFO to Madrid. Maybe a little bathroom nookie during my stopover in Dulles. And believe me - I'm no snob about this shit. I think there's everything to be said for the fleeting joy of airplane lit. Done right, it can be one of life's great pleasures. And the possibility can never be ruled out that it may lead to a deeper and more passionate commitment. I mean, look at Nate and Brenda in "Six Feet Under", and how well it worked out for them. Even the briefest of airport bathroom encounters is pregnant with possibility.
  
  So I'll admit to a certain nervous excitement as I boarded the plane at SFO, your manly bulk in my pocket, pressing against my crotch in mute promise of pleasures yet to come. And for the first 20 pages or so, you didn't disappoint. There was wit, a sense of direction, a certain ability to nail characters with brisk efficiency within a couple of snappy paragraphs.
  
  But I should have heeded the warning signs that were obvious right there in the book store. Even if the appalling cutesy biographical sketch could be excused as a horrendous contrivance foisted upon you by your publicist, there was that truly worrisome 'author portrait', which presumably you had to have approved at the very least. You know the one I'm talking about. The one where your desperate need to be liked permeates every line of the simpering come-hither rictus of a wistful little-lost-geisha-boy pout that you project to your potential johns. It might as well have been subtitled "me make you happy long time".
  
  Did they teach you that at geisha school, Tommy? To try to be all things to all men? Because, here's the thing, eunuchboy. Let me let you in on a little secret. Nowadays even the sweatiest of Japanese salarymen no longer finds the response "Who would you like me to be?" even faintly arousing in answer to the question "Who are you?".
  
  So that, when your thin excuse for a bold courageous novel touching on polemic issues degenerated into an incoherent mess of not wanting to offend anybody under any circumstances, frankly my frustration increased in direct proportion to the flaccidity of your prose. What was particularly weird was that you were hardly fooling anyone with your lethally boring 150 pages of padding trying to cover up the moral vaccum at the heart of your cardboard ex-stoner Jesus freak.
  
  And what about plot, Tommy? Do castrati get a pass?
  
  WARNING....... POSSIBLE SPOILER AHEAD .... BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE REALLY, REALLY STUPID ... AS STUPID AS THE AUTHOR ... WHICH SEEMS UNLIKELY ...
  
  Or is that what passes for resolution these days? Fading to black as hormonal Barbie and stoner Ken get it on. Despite the well-documented lack of genitalia of said eponymous action figurines.
  
  And apparently of the author of this excessively wordy piece of trash of a book, devoid of almost any smidgen of intellectual content. Guaranteed to offend nobody. Unless, of course, you have a brain.
• 
  Fabian

  Mr. Perrotta creates self-fulfilling demimondes in intricate, contemporary detail. But it's all sound and fury. This one's about what occurs when the Religious Right clashes with more modern and shall we say promiscuous tastes. His best is the hilarious "Joe College." His worst, strangely enough: "The Leftovers." And this one fits somewhere snuggly in between.
• 
  Jason Pettus

  (My entire review of this book is much longer than GoodReads' word-count limitations. Find the entire essay at the Chicago Center for Literature and Photography [cclapcenter.com].)
  
  As I've mentioned here a couple of times before, I've recently become a fairly big fan of movie-friendly author Tom Perrotta; for example, I found his breakthrough 2006 novel Little Children to be a surprisingly complex and subtle look at just what a horrific place the suburbs can be to some people, a stifling environment that squashes all yearning for something beyond the lowest common denominator as thoroughly as a Communist cultural crackdown. Ah, but then I read his latest, 2007's similarly-themed The Abstinence Teacher, and realized something I think I knew all along but that I hadn't wanted to admit to myself; that Perrotta in fact dances on that thin little line between being a good movie-friendly author and a bad one, and that even a small amount of seemingly inconsequential bad decisions on his part concerning character and story will eventually amount to one giant stinker of a book by the end, even with such a book still being 92-percent exactly like the other book that's great and that everyone loves.
  
  Like Little Children, for example, The Abstinence Teacher is also set in a repressive McMansion-happy middle-class suburb in the American Northeast; like Little Children, it's also supposed to be about a subversive sexual tension between people on opposite sides of an arbitrary issue that is arbitrarily important in this gossipy hothouse suburban environment. But see, here's a perfect example of what I'm talking about, because in Little Children Perrotta makes such a relationship work, by making the supposed opposites actually two sides of the same coin; in that book, it makes sense that the former radical-feminist academe and the former frat-boy football hero would have a charged illicit affair, because it was the Kafkaesque environment they were in that brought an end to both their individual hopes and dreams. In his newest book, though, Perrotta tries to use a Fundamentalist Christian church as the catalyst bringing two people from opposite sides of the fence suddenly and unusually together; but in this case such a thing simply doesn't work, because of the church and its actions causing a legitimate rift between anyone who falls on either side of the fence, too big to be overcome in a cutesy romantic way like Perrotta tries to do.
  
  In fact, this is the question I kept coming back to, over and over and over again as I read this novel; of why the main Christian character, former rock star and wicked addict Tim Mason, so thoroughly devotes his life to a cartoonishly evil Evangelical church to begin with. Perrotta tries to explain that it was the church who helped him overcome his addiction, and so Tim feels an irrational fear of falling off the wagon if he were to ever stray from their mustache-twirling neocon activities, but I'm not buying it; I myself am an atheist who's never been through a recovery program, and even I know that there are literally hundreds of politically moderate religious organizations out there designed specifically to help recovering addicts. (This is even a basic precept of...
• 
  Tessa Nadir

  Va puteti imagina o scoala unde elevii au ore de "Sexualitate umana" si unde "profa" se duce imbracata in fusta scurta, bluza stramta si sandale cu toc cui? Si iata ca perspectiva de a sta la ore si chiar de a sustine un examen nu mai este asa de sumbra, mai ales ca va ganditi (baietii) ca poate exista si o proba practica...
  Ruth Ramsey este profesoara de educatie sexuala intr-un liceu din America. In timpul unei ore la clasa a IX-a o eleva o intreaba daca sexul oral e dezgustator? Ea ii raspunde ca "unora le place". Baietii chicotesc iar fetele se inrosesc si ea intra in necazuri mari caci va ajunge in fata directorului. Parintii fetei, ce fac parte dintr-o organizatie puritana, sunt convinsi ca ea a recomandat elevilor practicarea sexului oral si vor s-o dea in judecata.
  Pentru a aplana conflictul directorul este nevoit sa aduca o profesoara de abstinenta care sa le vorbeasca elevilor despre abstinenta premaritala. Aceasta are 28 de ani, blonda, sexy, cu sanii mari si afirma in fata clasei ca este virgina. Baietii mormaie amuzati: "Nu pentru mult timp...", "Mare pacat..." sau "O sa fiu bland cu tine". Profesoara nu este afectata de aceste remarci si spune ca e fericita ca e virgina si prietenul ei e la fel de fericit. Ea ofera o gramada de motive rezonabile pentru abstinenta: nu te imbolnavesti, dormi linistita noaptea (evident ca daca nu este nimic sa te deranjeze in dormitor poti sa dormi linistita) pentru ca nu ai ramas insarcinata, nu esti mama singura, etc. Profesoara face senzatie cu discursul ei si este acceptata in programa.
  Pe de alta parte, Ruth, furioasa inca pe tot ce patise intra in conflict cu antrenorul de fotbal al scolii care face parte din aceeasi organizatie puritana. Ei doi se vor razboi si tachina pana cand isi dau seama ca de fapt se plac.
  Romanul, asa cum reiese din scurtul rezumat este recomandat persoanelor peste 16-18 ani deoarece vorbeste deschis despre intimitate. Este amuzant si interesant insa la un moment dat cititorul poate considera ca e prea mult sa citeasca despre asemenea lucruri la fiecare pas.
  Am constatat ca pe alocuri traducerea este 'ciudatica', avand fraze de genul: "oamenii nu mai au voie sa le placa..." sau "sexualitate umana".
  In incheiere va marturisesc ca nu am citit-o pana la final caci tot ne sfatuieste sa nu mergem pana la capat asa ca m-am abtinut - ca sa dorm linistita la noapte. :)
• 
  Snotchocheez

  2.5 Stars
  
  The Abstinence Teacher is a pretty solid near-three-star read from Tom Perrotta, though I thought he really could've gone a lot farther with his observations on the rift between the religious right and the secular left. It does, though, serve as an ideal warm-up to his (in my opinion) much more fully realized The Leftovers.
  
  Though this 2007 release seems slightly dated, Perrotta's core societal perceptions are just as salient today as they were ten years ago. His protagonist Ruth Ramsey is a Sex Ed teacher at a public high school (in Anywhereville USA, aka Stonewood Heights) whose curriculum is being dictated by Christian-fronted special interest groups that advocate sexual abstinence. Ruth, a free-spirited divorced mother of two daughters, routinely finds herself butting heads with school administrators when parents' complaints arise over Ruth's teaching techniques (nothing more controversial really than discussions of contraception). Representing the other side of the ideological rift is Tim Mason, a reformed Grateful Deadhead stoner, now the soccer coach of one of Ruth's daughters, and member of the Tabernacle (one of the churches responsible for the Ruth's SexEd curriculum change). Sparks fly when Ruth sees Tim leading her daughter's team in a post-game prayer. Things get kinda ugly from there.
  
  Although Perrotta is a gifted writer, there are times while reading this that I wished he could've done more with his characters. Instead of introducing (seemingly) dozens of minor players, he should've concentrated his efforts on the two principal protagonists so I could feel something for them. Instead I found myself shrugging as Perrotta led them toward a predictable (yet strangely unresolved) denouement. His sense of humor and keen eye for the social climate made this a fun book to read, though I was left slightly empty by it (perhaps as empty as the shoes on the cover of The Leftovers).
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  Tracy

  Very enjoyable - Perotta's ''The Abstinence Teacher', was an exceptionally realistic and relatable book, discussing many topics pertinent in our society since the beginning of time. Struggles with addiction, straying from marriages, (if not physically, in thoughts) seeking a relationship with a power greater than ourselves, and all the deep soul searching this involves. . . Such as working on being selfless, and humbling ourselves in the quest to stay the course.
  
  This novel puts a bright spotlight on all of the above topics, and is a good reminder to look within before passing judgment on others.
  
  Overall, many good messages and reminders that we are all imperfect human beings, and as long we are willing to be honest with ourselves and each other we have made a good start.
• 
  Tricia

  I was fully immersed in this story-Tom Perrotta is a vivid writer. Despite this, I was disappointed overall…the characters, though interesting, weren’t fully fleshed out and lacked depth.
• 
  Ceilidh

  The abstinence movement and the Christian right are two of my favourite topics in relation to American politics, one of my strange hobbies. They both fascinate and horrify me in equal measure and I’m always on the lookout for books, fiction and non-fiction, related to them to fuel my interest. I’ve only read one Tom Perrotta novel before, “Little Children”, which I enjoyed immensely and found to be a well orchestrated satire on suburban life and its less than picture perfect truth, so I entered reading “The Abstinence Teacher” optimistically, only to find myself very disappointed very quickly.
  
  This book isn’t populated by characters; it’s populated by mouthpieces for opinions. Every character acts like a mouthpiece, everything they say seems to be taken from a newspaper article debating the pros and cons of religious and sexual issues, and their functions as mouthpieces don’t give them any room to develop as fully rounded characters independent of the debate Perrotta wants to have. They’re not even well rounded opinions to spout off. There is very little resolution to these points and they don’t seem to develop beyond a few buzzwords or commentary rants better suited to a newspaper opinion page with a limited word count. Things happen and there are some interesting set-ups for what promise to be bigger and more explosive events but they seldom come to fruition. It’s such a disappointment because the potential is definitely there. We only get one or two real scenes of Ruth teaching abstinence and the school politics of it all but Perrotta seems bored, as if he doesn’t want to create any real conflict. I wanted to see more of the newly instigated abstinence classes’ impact on the school and its students. I wanted to see how big an impact the growing churches were having on the community (it’s hinted at and ranted about as yet another mouthpiece opinion but never given much development beyond that.) I wanted to see more of Ruth’s daughters choosing to engage with the church and the tensions it created with Ruth and her anti-church stance. There was plenty of room for these things, why weren’t they there?
  
  There is no real story to speak of, events just ramble along and meander back and forth as the point-of-view switches from divorced mother and health teacher Ruth to born again Christian with a crisis Tim. These two characters are supposed to be engaged in a battle of wits and morals, one being the atheist with a grudge against the radically increasing Christian presence in her school, the other the former drug addicted rock-star who found solace in Christ and wants to be a good person through his teachings. Once or twice, we’re treated to an interesting conversation between the two, and it is interesting to hear their parental stories, but since they spend so little page time together, it makes the weak, abrupt conclusion all the more baffling and lazy. I can’t say I especially disliked Ruth or Tim. As I said before, they were mainly mouthpieces but they did have a lot of things I really liked, such as Tim’s struggle to be what he saw as a good Christian man and Ruth’s relationship with her daughters. Instead of any real development in these traits that actually would have had relevance to the plot, we’re treated to page after page of tell-don’t-show info-dumps of Ruth’s teenage sex escapades, her desperation for a man (because a strong, independent and intelligent 40 something single woman must be in want of a man at every possible moment) and other bites of information that could have been woven much less awkwardly into the story to a much more effective result. There were some moments crying to be re-written, the biggest one that stands out in my mind being a moment where Tim muses about homosexuality and how he doesn’t think it’s a sin (told with the subtlety of a sledgehammer with a talk radio show) when we have an established character who is a gay man working in the high school with Ruth who could have been used much more effectively to portray the topic of homosexuality and its place in the Christian right and schools. Any potential for wit and truly successful satire is gone and the rest just falls flat. (I’m also worried since Perrotta’s prose bugged me quite a bit yet it reminds me so much of my own. I’ve got some rewrites to do.)
  
  Overall, “The Abstinence Teacher” was such a disappointment. It was incredibly mediocre, but not without some merit, and failed to truly get a sense of the contradictions and difficulties of the abstinence movement and the growing presence of the Christian right in public services in America. Perrotta seems more concerned with painting a black and white picture with very broad strokes when what was really needed was a much finer brush and a wider palate of colours.
  
• 
  Morgue Anne

  When it comes to my sex life, there’s a lot my parents don’t need to know. They don’t need to know that I was deathly afraid of sex until I was almost 18 – not because of those “abstinence only” education documentaries that made sex seem like a death warrant – but because it was me giving something of myself to someone, letting them have a power over me that I wasn’t entirely comfortable with. They don’t need to know who I lost my virginity to, or what my current boyfriend and I do behind closed doors.There are, however, some things they deserve to know, even if I’m never going to be the one to bring it up. They deserve to know that I am happy with my partner, and, if and when we are sexually active, that I am on the pill, he’s wearing a condom, and I get tested every three months. They deserve to know these things because they are my parents. They love me, and want me to be safe, happy, and not in a situation I will regret later.
  This is a book about sex. It's one of the better books on the "Abstinence only" education I have read, because it doesn't display everything in black and white. Each side isn't pointing to finger to the other and screaming "They're trying to ruin our children!". Everyone's just scared. The teachers are scared because they aren't allowed to give the students the information they need to be safe, and the parents are scared because they don't want their children to need this information in the first place. The main characters of this story do a fantastic job of portraying this to the reader, but Perrotta also makes a point of showing the negative effects of the "Virginity Consultant" and her "Safe Choices" program for teenagers.
  Abstinence only education is, as my social psychologist boyfriend would put it, "Empirically verified as ineffective". The information is crap (condoms failing 1/3 of the time, EVERYONE who has sex will get a disease, that hot girl with teh A&F model boyfriend is content in her life without orgasams, etc), the teachers don't believe it and are teaching it to a group of students who, rather then listen, are eyeing that cute girl in the second row. I try not to be forceful with my opinions, but this is something I feel strongly enough about to share. I was fortunate enough to have parents and teachers who gave me the information I needed, and trusted me to be smart about making my own choices. My mother made sure I was covered for birth control on our insurance plan, My teacher told me in confidence that Lover's Package had the cheapest condoms (and the employees were the most knowledgable about which brand was more effective), and the testing once every three months, that was my idea. Because, believe it or not, an 18 year old can make responsible choices about sex. When given the *correct* information.
• 
  Sarah

  I love Tom Perrotta, and this book was no exception. He writes in such a way that he makes it look easy, when it is anything but. And I love how much depth he finds in characters that other writers might see as simply stereotypes.
• 
  Abigail Hillinger

  Well.
  
  I'm rather Tom Perrotta-obsessed. I've been known to babble on about him...over and over and over again.
  
  I was really excited for this book to come out. I loved the concept of Ruth, a Human Sexuality teacher, being called into question for something innocent, a casual remark, and how the hyper-Christian population attacked her like she had horns and had the middle name Lucifer. And the connection between Tim, her daughter's born-again soccer coach, and Ruth are great. The scene where Ruth realizes that Tim is praying on after a particularly invigorating game is so well-done.
  
  But. And there's a but. It's well-written, because, of course, it's Tom Perrotta and he's wonderful. However, this book was so lackluster compared to his other great books (Little Children! The Wishbones! Election!) that is was almost reminiscent of Joe College, the only book of his that I didn't devour in a single sitting. And it was really disappointing.
  
  Maybe I should blame myself. After reading Little Children two years ago, I was already impatient for his newest book to come out. And with the startling way Christianity has dominated our politics, I think it's absolutely necessary for a satirical book to make light of it and show how RIDICULOUS it all can be through every day circumstances. Every day circumstances and satires are, after all, what Tom Perrotta does best.
  
  But this book falls flat in several ways. Character development, for example. Ruth was two-dimensional, at best. Sure, she had her moments of fire and anger concerning her curriculum and maybe her daughters (and of course, Tim's choice to pray after games), but then what? There was no depth to her, so different from the female protagonist Sarah in Little Children. And Tim...I understood why Tim had a bigger role in the book than Ruth; it was crucial for the reader to understand how one gets to be a born-again and the doubts/uncertainties that he/she has after the fact. Which, of course, is Tim.
  
  The soccer scenes were long and drawn out. I skimmed through them. They reminded me of the ONLY thing I didn't like in Little Children, which were the football games. Maybe it's because I just don't really care about sports and don't really care to READ about sports, but I just turned my brain off during those parts.
  
  There were so many things I wanted to see expanded, mostly that I wanted more Ruth. I wanted more Ruth and her daughters. More about her divorce, beyond the fact that she thought her marriage to Frank was always a mistake. I really liked her; it was sad to not see more of her. And what about JoAnn? GOD, would I have loved to see her got some form of comeuppance!
  
  The ending suited me just fine. I've read reviews so far where people thought it was blah, not good, and I found the opposite. I enjoyed it a lot.
  
  I still really liked the book, despite my observations. It's still Tom Perrotta, and it's still good writing. And I still laughed out loud several times. And I will still probably re-read this book a few times, because that's how I roll.
• 
  Derek Emerson

  This week I read the "New York Times Bestseller," The Abstinence Teacher, by Tom Perrotta. While not liking the book is one thing, hating it is another. I hated this book! I'm actually angry about it and it has been nearly a week since I pushed myself through it in two days. Two days is plenty of time since it would appear it took that long to write (although Perrotta claims two years). What surprises me is my anger. I think, through no fault of his own, it's because this IS a New York Times bestseller. Can we do no better than this? This book is so bad it makes me want to write because I KNOW I can do better -- but I would still be embarrassed to see my name on a novel only "better" than this one.
  
  So why do I hate it? Let me count the ways.
  
  
  1) Ruth Ramsey. Ruth is the main the character and the teacher named in the title. I really do not like this person. In fact, she is much of what I do not like about people. Now let me state up front that I do not need to like the character to like the book (see Updike's Rabbit), but I'm not sure why we are subjected to this person. She simply does not grow throughout the book and I doubt her future life will turn out any better. Once the renegade, super-cool sex ed teacher, she is now forced to teach a boring and unrealistic abstinence course after some right-wing Christians (and yes, there are left-wing Christians) sue the school. So she shows up the first day in a slinky outfit to quietly protest this change. This would be humorous if she was 16 years old, but when you hit your 40s, well, grow up! She is a lousy mother more interested in her own life than that of her children, a whiny school teacher and person, and a fierce hater of Christianity possibly due to the right-wing opposition to her sex ed, but that is never clear. Seriously, her children going to church terrifies her and they know it -- she does not support anything they do which she does not also like.
  
  2) Poor writing. I should have quit reading at Ruth Ramsey's reflection that in college "she majored in Psychology and minored in Doritos." Are you kidding me? Are there no editors left in the world. Who lets such a stupid line through! Apparently everyone since this book is full of such phrases.
  
  
  3) It's called a plot line -- follow it. Perrotta fills space with plots which begin and are either never resolved or leave us wondering why it was there. So she has a bad sexual encounter with her high school fling 30 years later. Why did we need to know this? What purpose does it serve? Perrotta had already reached the pulp factor in number of pages, so why torment us some more? Ruth Ramsey's daughters are interesting, but we'll never know how much because he primarily uses them as foils for Ruth; he starts a story line with them and just drops them off at the end. On a side note, I'm really wondering how they will handle the mother's final love interest. She is working hard to mess these kids up.
  
  4) This will add insight into the culture wars. Maybe this is where my anger really lies. In an interview with Perrotta at the back of my edition he is asked if this book will be a "grenade tossed into the culture wars?" He response includes "That's the part where you just cross your fingers and hope it's gonna happen." (He apparently speaks as well as he writes). I approached the book thinking this would be interesting. Teaching abstinence fails and all the research shows this. Perrotta has grabbed an issue which could make a phenomenal book and completely missed the chance. This book is not about culture wars, it is about some annoying people who have messed up their lives and will likely continue to mess up their lives. The battle over the sex ed is past history in this novel and we just get a quick summary. The woman running the new abstinence push is interesting, but there is no show down except for when Ramsey fails so often she is reassigned (she should be fired -- people like this [stupid:] are dangerous to children and that has nothing to do with her attitudes toward sex). The closest we get to a showdown is when the coaches pray at the end of a soccer game a couple of times. Perrotta even tries to build up the climax (finally, I thought), but then the final praying scene does not even occur in the book. This is about culture wars? Sorry, wrong war.
  
  I'll stop here at number four, but I could go on (e.g. stereotypes, excess verbiage) -- I just need to keep this book from wasting more time in my life.
  
  So is there anything good about the book? Hmm...Tim Mason is an interesting character and (gasp!) he actually evolves in the book. He is supposed to be other half of the culture war, representing the right wing Christian angle. A recovering addict to several addictions his new found faith offers him some support, but even more guilt. But he is humble in his own way and in the end he is actually honest with himself. It is his humility and honesty which allow him to move forward while all the characters remain in one place.
  
  Now I may be alone on this one. The New York Times blurb says "Perrotta is a truth-telling, unshowy chronicler of modern-day America." Time calls him the "Steinbeck of suburbia" (that one really hurts) and nothing less than Entertainment Weekly chimes in by saying this is Perrotta "at his rock star best." I'm willing to go down alone if need be.
  
  And by the way, my oldest two are not off the hook for this. My oldest son gave it to my daughter for Christmas (mistake one) and my daughter thought I would like it (mistake two). My son is claiming the whole "I'm just the messenger" line, but anyone promoting this type of literature will need to spend extra time in purgatory. As for my daughter, lover of great classics including Jane Austen, the Bronte sisters, and so many other great works -- what were you thinking! I'm so disappointed. Fortunately, I'm a forgiving person.
• 
  Bill

  I have read five of Tom Perrotta's novels so far, and his themes throughout them have the same overlying theme: just ordinary people in suburbia trying to find their place in the world and in their relationships. There are no outrageous occurrences, just things that could conceivably happen to anyone, and how they manage. They are heavily character driven, by very well written narrative and excellent dialogue.
  And, as is always the case with ordinary people who have normal drives of all sorts, there is a healthy helping of sexual themes throughout.
  These normal everyday themes and good plotlines make for excellent, addictive reads. At least for me, that is. I absolutely burn through his books. As I did this one.
  
  The Abstinence Teacher centers around Ruth, a sex ed high school teacher, who makes the grievous error of casually mentioning that some people enjoy oral sex. This becomes a grievous error because a local fundamentalist Christian organization catches wind of this and of course you can imagine the fuss that ensues.
  Adding to the situation is that Ruth's daughter's beloved soccer coach Tim is a member of this church.
  
  Tom Perrotta does a brilliant job of portraying each side of this controversy. While the religious far-right can be commonly discounted as intolerant wingnuts (Yo), we get a deep understanding of where Tim has been in his life, how he became part of this church, and his personal struggles to just do the right thing.
  
  I haven't spoiled anything, but I have divulged a lot more about a story than I usually do. It's pretty much impossible to explain why I liked it so much without doing so. But I'll stop now.
  If there was anything negative I thought about the book, it may be in the middle where there was just a little too much backstory for a character that I didn't care that much about. But it wasn't really a whole lot of reading compared to the rest of the book so I'll let it go. At that point, I was pretty certain this was going to be a four star rating. However, after finishing the book this morning and thinking about it, I'm so impressed with the portrayal of Tim that I don't think I can go less than five stars.
  Tom Perrotta is a slam-dunk must-read for me and I will read everything by him. It continues to mystify me why his novels have lukewarm average ratings here because he just does it for me every time.
• 
  CD

  This book was a recommendation for our book club and I have to say it is one of the only books for that group that I think is poorly written. What I was told I would be reading is a funny book about a clash between the health teacher at a school and the local fundamentalist Christian group. I was expecting a collision of ideas, morality, education, parents v. teachers, community standards. What I got was something else completely.
  
  It started off with the health teacher and it seemed to be progressing into something interesting in spite of characters that seemed a bit wooden and more of a caricature (the two gay guys). Then it split off into a story about the soccer coach who is a former rock and roller and former drug addict who is now born again and is trying to be a good Chrisian promise keeper. What was disturbing was the not so subtle contempt that Perrotta has for Christians. On page 82 he describes how the pastor is trying to set him up with one of his young parishoners and says "Unlike most of the single women who worshipped at the Tabernacle, she was young and reasonably cute..." Man. It's little digs like that that tell you he has a huge ax to grind. I have no love lost between me and promise keepers and as a librarian I am fully for banned books and the freedom to read. However, I feel like Perrotta had an opportunity to really portray a community and evoke some controversy and debate and intellectual discussion and he took the easy way out. The easy and slimy way.
  
  The book made me feel dirty. The characters were gross, behaved badly and made decisions that overall were disgusting. Ultimately it had nothing to do with the original story. It lost its focus and its moral high ground and nothing can redeem it. I don't recommend this to anyone.
• 
  Amy

  Perrotta's characters are so interesting. I liked the story and this book was full of surprising little observations and witticisms. My favorite was probably, "She majored in psychology and minored in Doritos." There was also a funny exchange between one of the characters and his teenage daughter, who had chosen Donald Trump for a paper about a man she admired. When he asked why, she said, He's successful," and he answers that that didn't mean he wasn't a bad person. That's funny in today's context.
  
  One of my favorite things about Perrotta's writing is that he captures undefinable and unexpected relationships between his characters in a way that mimics real life. He is also skilled at creating subtle sexual tension between his characters, which makes their interactions more weighted and intriguing. A word isn't just a word and neither is a look or a touch. I like life like that.
  
  
• 
  Kim

  Ya know, I liked this book but the ending kinda left me feeling unfulfilled. I like closure.
• 
  Maggie

  Perrotta's latest installment uses public school health teachers and suburban soccer moms and dads to examine the war between liberals and evangelicals. For over ten years Ruth Ramsay let her motto of "Pleasure is good, shame is bad, and knowledge is power" guide her teaching of human sexuality; in her classroom no subject was forbidden, but the envelope is eventually pushed too far when, in response to a student's vocal disgust over oral sex, she replies, "some people enjoy it." A student complains and cue the evangelical Christians, who have an amazingly easy time swooping in and getting the sexuality curriculum changed to an "abstinence only" approach - a philosophy that Ruth strongly opposes, yet must still manage to teach. In the aftermath of this controversy, Ruth meets her daughter's soccer coach - a former addict turned born-again evangelical Christian named Tim Mason, who unwittingly creates a huge mess the day he decided to lead his multi-faithed, community soccer team in prayer right before Ruth's very eyes. What follows is the story of an unlikely friendship born from the controversy, and a book that pretty much bored me throughout. I admit that my knowledge of Perrotta's storytelling is limited to film versions of two of his novels (Election, Little Children), but on the power of these two films and reviewers' commentaries I was expecting The Abstinence Teacher to be sharp, witty, mildly satirical, and funny when it needed to be. Instead, the story played a bit like a Lifetime Original Movie, none of the characters were particularly likable, barring one moment that I found mildly amusing it was decidedly unfunny, and I probably would not have finished it if it were not for the sake of this review which I now write. Perhaps I'm being a bit harsh, but in a word - meh. You can do better.
• 
  Stuart Nachbar

  The Abstinence Teacher Gets an A in My Grade Book
  
  Tom Perrotta and I have two things in common: New Jersey roots and novels about sex education; his latest work, The Abstinence Teacher is the only other novel, besides my own, The Sex Ed Chronicles, that I have read which covers a subject that is still considered taboo in some social circles.
  
  The Abstinence Teacher has two main characters: Ruth Ramsey, a divorcee’ and high school sex educator who makes one inappropriate comment too many, drawing the ire of the evangelical Tabernacle church and its’ hell for leather Pastor Dennis, and Tim Mason, a former stoner and rock n’ roller, also divorced, turned born-again Christian and doting soccer dad. Tim is struggling to stay along the straight and narrow path, as defined for him by the very same evangelical leader who torments Ruth.
  
  The descriptions of Ruth and Tim’s mental conflicts are fascinating. They are both searching for self-worth through someone else. Since their divorces, Ruth and Tim’s lives have taken divergent paths, but each believes that they have lost something that one might call faith. They are both close-minded, though Tim’s close-mindedness is manufactured from his relationship with the Tabernacle. It was interesting that Tim likened the fellowship of the Tabernacle to the camaraderie of the rock bands of his youth; both are closed circles that welcome loners who are taught to pity or look down on others who don’t fit in.
  
  Tim has tried to embrace a Christian life, though his sexual desires for his ex-wife and unhappiness in his second marriage lead him to doubt his piety. Tim repeatedly returns to Pastor Dennis to reconcile his adopted faith. Tim and Carrie, his second wife, try to find sexual bliss under a church-defined set of rules; the rules for shopping, for instance, try to draw a fine line between naughty and nice.
  
  Ruth has lived professionally by the mantra that “pleasure is good, shame is bad and knowledge is power,” however she doubts that her students are listening to her more medically accurate, age appropriate messages. In her private moments, she doubts her own sexuality, wondering if love, or just plain good sex, will elude her for the rest of her life. Her desperation reaches new heights as she seeks an old high school flame through the ‘Net.
  
  Ruth and Tim’s paths cross at a soccer game where Tim has asked his team, including Ruth’s daughter Maggie, to join in prayer after a victory. Ruth objects, drawing further wrath from the Tabernacle faithful. Her first clash led her principal and superintendent to institute an abstinence-only sex education course that she lacks the heart to teach. Her second compromises her relationships with her two daughters: Maggie, who wants to continue to play soccer for Tim, and Eliza who uses her mother’s objections to public prayer as a means to consider evangelical fellowship for herself.
  
  Unlike my work, The Sex Ed Chronicles, which takes place in 1980, a time before sex education had been adopted in many public schools; Teacher is based in our times. In Chronicles, I was guided by the history and politics of the late 1970’s. Teacher devotes more attention to the culture of fundamentalist Christianity than the art, science and politics of teaching sex education in public schools. In Teacher, sex education is a regular part of the school day.
  
  In reading Teacher and Chronicles back to back, I noticed similarities. Both novels position sex educators under the belief that knowledge is power and show that sex education is too important and too difficult a subject to teach poorly in the classroom. I made the same point as an observing news reporter as Perrotta makes by getting inside Ruth Ramsey’s head. In Teacher and Chronicles, the teachers are also asked to swallow some pride. I will only say that Ruth is asked to swallow harder.
  
  Chronicles and Teacher share concerns about abstinence-only sex education being something that is watered down and therefore, not taking too seriously—unless it is consistent with the teachings of their family or place of worship. However, sex education outside of the public schools is less consistent from student to student, than inside the classroom—and both sides of the culture wars acknowledge this point.
  
  Then the academic questions that come from reading Teacher and Chronicles are who provides the views that will dominate, and not demonize, public school sex education? Which minority view will take center stage in a theatre where parents and students are a silent majority? Will it be activist conservatives (they are not all Christians; Orthodox Jews and Muslims share deep seeded objections to comprehensive sex education) or activist educators perceived to be liberal, or is it more appropriate to say, sexually liberated?
  
  And, do students and school administrators really care about the material taught in those classes? There is evidence in Teacher and Chronicles that administrators care mainly about staying out of trouble that comes in the forms of negative press and parental pressures and, that most students will “learn” whatever their school system decides to put in front of them.
  
  The Abstinence Teacher made me more concerned for the professional well-being and skin thickness of sex educators who work in settings similar to Ruth. A teacher cannot teach well when forced to suppress their own values to protect faculty colleagues from embarrassment. I likened Ruth Ramsey’s job to managing the late shift at the 24-hour convenience mart, a no-win scenario whenever you lose your cool in head-to-head or eye-to-eye combat.
  
  For this reason, as well as Perrotta’s humorous and insightful scenes of sex re-education
  in our times, The Abstinence Teacher gets high marks in my grade book.
  
• 
  Imogen

  I remembered Jessa from Bookslut going off about this book for a long time, so I was excited to read it, but goodreads, I can't lie to you: it reminds me of the capital letter Literary Fiction I used to write when I was nineteen, and I am NOT proud of that stuff. "I'm going to tell the story from The Enemy's point of view," I'd think, "to show that they are people too." But, I mean, duh. One, there is no enemy, and two, duh! Obviously evangelical Christians are real people. So... I hated the Grateful Dead listenin' ex-drug addict who, I guess, finds salvation and love when he goes back off the wagon? I didn't really believe in the sex ed teacher divorced soccer mom, or in her total caricature, marriage-obsessed gay friends. And if you are going to show that evangelical Christians are real people, you can't have ground zero for their church be a ridiculous deus ex machina like something out of Spawn and then a blacked-out smashing up of a Best Buy. Right? The guy behind the church we're learning about is a cartoon.
  
  It's like Mr Perrota decided to talk about Issues and thought he was smart enough that that would carry the book. But none of the details ring true at all- in the part where the married Christians are reading the book about how to have hot Christian sex, and they get to the part about how there's nothing in the bible against cross-dressing? I mean, Mr. Perrota, Deuteronomy 22:5 says it's not okay. Google it? Don't just make shit up?
  
  You know who this reminds me of?
  David Gates. At one point I got a wild hair and read his three books, and liked them, and in retrospect I have no idea why. Upper middle class white dude angst? Band names and song titles? BORING. BO RING.
  
  I would give it one star except, y'know, I read the whole thing. Maybe Jessa was talking shit when she was talking about this? I don't remember.
  
  OH! BUT! This book did give me the idea to make a time machine, go back in time, and tell my high school self to start a band called SUBURBAN DYSTOPIA. Just 'cause, y'know, that's the two word description of what this book's about, and it would look rad on an amaturishly screen-printed t-shirt.
• 
  Lindsey Dean

  The only good thing this book had going for it was that it was well written enough that I finished it. But that's about it. Frustrating content and a story that waffled at best and was a yarn ball of loose ends and unfinished sentences and NO climax at worst. Coming to the end, I wish I hadn't bothered.
  
  Ugh, no the more I think about it the more annoyed I am at having this clunky, unsatisfying story in my brain.
• 
  Ellis

  I don't know what it is about his books, they start off so well & then they just fall flat at the end.
• 
  Meredith

  I only finished this book because I had already listened to 4.5 of the 9 discs when its potential finally crashed and burned.
  
  This novel should be called The Convert or The Convert Awaiting His Chance to Backslide rather than The Abstinence Teacher since the title The Abstinence Teacher misleadingly suggests that the implementation of an "abstinence only" sex education program, its effect on the students, and the battle about the programs in community would be the subject.
  
  In interviews the author claimed that this book was an exploration of the culture wars going on in the United States -- the secular population versus fundamentalist Christian sects seeking to legislate their own beliefs -- from the angle of "abstinence only" sex education. That would be very interesting. That is not what this book is about. The plot of this book is the growing uncontrollable animalist urge of the two main characters to have sex with each other despite not liking each, despite one of them being married, and despite their being on opposite sides of the theological fence.
  
  The characters are all stereotypical, cliched, flat, and predictable. The two main characters who are supposed to stand for the Left and the Right are disappointingly non-representative of their fractions. Representing secular America is Ruth who is a divorced feminist in her early 40's whose two main preoccupations are lamenting her lack of a sex life and Starbucks coffee. Representing Evangelical America is Tim who is a recovering addict who converted in order to help gain control over his substance abuse problems, who is unhappily married to a good meek Christian woman, and whose inner mental life randomly alternates between hardline fundamental Christian doctrines and irreligious macho male culture. Tim claims to have been a professional musician during his drug addict days, but I don't buy that claim. For all of his reminiscing about playing gigs, he never convinced me that he was more than a weekender or hardcore hobbyist. I didn't buy his conversion either. His attitude and behaviour never supported it. He claims that "prayer is like breathing" for him, but nothing backs up that statement.
  
  The author also failed in his attempt to present each side as equally valid. The church members come off as crackpots and the teacher as sex-crazed and pathetic. The story would have been better if the sex ed teacher forced to teach abstinence only sex ed was an ordinary married member for the secular middle-class and the church member pitted against her was a cradle Evangelical leading a typical religious life. Watching their struggle for the best interests of the students would have been interesting. As it is, the curriculum switch to abstinence only occurs at the beginning, and then that theme is basically forgotten in Tim's and Ruth's struggles not to want to have sex with each other and the miserable tedium of their daily lives.
• 
  Kit

  I'm about halfway through this, and am not loving it. Maybe the ending will pull thigns together (and pull this off).
  
  Where I am now: characters are stock characters, so am assuming the point is not character or character development, but some larger point about our culture and its issues about the roles of sexuality and religion.
  
  A parent is shocked/distressed that their child's health ed (sex ed) teacher says that some people like oral sex (and, presumably, not so happy that the teachers flips diaphragms around the classroom like tiny frisbees) -- feels that's an abuse of the teacher's authority, that it crosses the line into what the parent should be responsible for teaching her child.
  
  Another parent (who just so happens to be that sex ed teacher) is shocked/distressed that her child's soccer coach has the kids join hands and pray (very ecumenically, as best we can tell) after a big game win --- feels that's an abuse of the coach's authority, that it crosses the line into what the parent should be responsible for teaching her child.
  
  Sooo..... is there a moment of revelation waiting in the wings for the characters? For us?
  
  I don't care much about the characters, actually, so don't feel invested in whether or not they have a revelation moment. And I'm thinking not-so-much for us, because it's so broadly drawn. But will keep reading, just in case.
  ----
  
  OK, I finished it. Bleh.
  
  Maybe this is a draft of a screenplay? Maybe if you had compelling actors take on these characters, the characters would be more 'real' and more interesting? Maybe if you had a strong editor you could structure the storyline so that it, um, worked?
  
  Disappointing. But a fast read, if anyone's got it in his or her tote bag for the beach.....
  
  ----
  P.S. Because this bugged me so bad -- but stop reading right now if you don't want anything 'spoilerish' --- I couldn't stand the scene where the health teachers go in for re-indoctrination in the abstinence curriculum. The facilitator tells them to write down their sexual experience they're most ashamed of and then they're supposed to read these aloud to the group.
  
  Hello? Wouldn't a group of experienced sex ed teachers know how to just say NO to being 'coerced' into sharing a private experience? Couldn't one of them have gracefully objected to the assignment on the grounds that they see their sex lives as their personal business and not fodder for the abstinence curriculum?
• 
  Matt

  After LITTLE CHILDREN, this book seems totally light-weight. Definitely not a bad book, but the characters were painted a little too broadly for my tastes (Ruth's gay best friends, for example, or the stereotypical "ms. perfect" abstinence pusher).
  
  Perrotta tries his best to present both sides of the religious debate as equally valid, but his heart really isn't in it (not that I blame him). While none of the religious characters come off as complete left-wing stereotypes, none of them come off looking particularly wonderful either... not that the other side (Ruth) ends up looking much better.
  
  I think my biggest regret about this book is that we never see the second half of Tim's "growth," so to speak. Tim is by far the most complex and interesting character in the book, and at the exact moment that Tim seems poised to have to deal with all of these issues he's brought up in his life and the results of the decisions he's made, Perrotta slams on the brakes.
  
  I just happened to come across this quote from Nick Hornby while reading his blog tonight:
  
  "Tom Perrotta, the author of Little Children and Election, has written a very good novel about liberalism versus Christianity entitled ‘The Abstinence Teacher’. It’s funny and convincing and timely, and anyone who is mystified by the state of the States should read it when it’s published here next year. You won’t find any answers, because there aren’t any. But you might end up understanding a little more."
  
  I disagree on the "convincing" part, and while I obviously think less of the book than Hornby does, I do think it's worth a read.
  
• 
  Sarah

  The story unfolds...It sounds like such a cliche but that truly is the best way to describe this absorbing read. Perrota does an excellent job of reeling the reader in, slowly disclosing background information and details about the main characters, all the while allowing the story to be told. Perrota never hints at his own personal position on the controversial issues raised by this novel (i.e. educating high school students about abstinence, public prayer, Christianity.) Both of the main characters are deeply flawed so there is no clean cut division of good and evil. Instead, the players are wholly believable and human, the issues cloudy and multi-faceted. The story begins slowly, alternating its focus between Ruth and Tim. As the tempo picks up the passages about each character become increasingly brief, almost as though the two are pitted against each other in a boxing ring. Two caveats: First, Perrota is overly fond of the hyphen to the point where I found it distracted my reading of the novel. The second problem is that the story seems to end so abruptly. There is a terrific build-up, a crescendo, then bam! it's over. Huh? This is not to say that some of the loose ends weren't tied up. they were, it is just that the rapid ending did not jive with the style and pacing of the rest of the novel. Overall, engrossing and well-executed.
• 
  Angel Strandjev

  I started this book more of curiosity and certainly I never thought it would be a page-turner. The story revolves around two characters - Ruth Ramsey, an agnostic sex education teacher in a not so conservative northeast US town and Tim Mason, a former rock bassist with a history of drug and alcohol abuse who has recently found Jesus and the way their paths cross. It has all the ingredients of a good book: original story; dynamic, multi-layered characters, controversial subject and a lot of food for thought. Most impressive of all - Tom Perrotta does not take a side, with a surgical precision he gives equal voice and creditability of both the evangelical Christianity and the secular agnostics. No fingers pointed, Perrotta does not draw easy conclusions. And that is the ultimate respect towards the reader. Highly recommended.
• 
  Meggyn

  ZERO stars, abandoned halfway. As a sex-positive feminist and musician in a Christian rock band, I thought the abstinence argument would be an interesting minor conflict in the middle of a fun, silly rom-com. Instead, this book was disgustingly problematic: filled with fat shaming, Islamophobia, women as objects, and sexualization of prepubescent girls by adult men. 200 pages in, my flight finally landed, and this book was no longer my only alternative to mile-high boredom. Book, meet dumpster.