Improve Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What To Say with Improv Comedy Techniques by Patrick King

Improve Your Conversations: Think on Your Feet, Witty Banter, and Always Know What To Say with Improv Comedy Techniques Reviews

• 
  Charmin

  HIGHLIGHTS:
  1. RULES of Improv Comedy:
  - Don’t force others to answer broad questions because it puts a conversational burden on them and interrupts banter.
  - Be as present and observant as possible so you can see where interaction is coming from, and where it wants to go.
  - Provide specific details for people to relate to, react to, and run with.
  - Never lead with “No” because it disregards the direction that someone wants to go and makes it more difficult to work towards a common, shared goal.
  - Interactions must always be moving ahead because staying stagnant is death.
  
  2. EMOTIONAL STATE:
  - Flexibility and the ability to adapt to fit someone’s mood are paramount to any great conversation.
  - When you understand the emotional state of your audience and other players, you are basically given a template for where to go, and when to go there.
  - It’s all about seeing the given emotional boundaries for your conversation and catering towards what people are conveying and want to talk about.
  
  3. LISTENING:
  - When you repeat an element that you and your conversation partner talked about earlier, this shows to that person in no uncertain terms that you were listening to that person.
  - This drives home the point that whatever they said is important enough to you for you to take notice and act on it.
  - The whole point of conversation is to get people to like you, feel good about you, and relax and open up to you.
  
  4. INTERRUPTING:
  - If you interrupt somebody, it is a form of disrespect.
  - When you interrupt somebody, you are basically trying to dominate that person.
  - You are trying to devalue what they say.
  - You are also trying to impose your agenda on that person.
  
  5. CONVERSATION:
  - If you want to be a really good conversationalist, you have to be adaptable and prepared to move in the direction of the person you're talking to.
  - True conversation that improves relationships and makes people feel really good about each other and make them feel familiar around each other involves an interplay between silence and speaking, and both parties have an equal opportunity to take the spotlight.
  - You can direct the conversation to topics that they are knowledgeable about, and let them share their expertise with you.
  - Improv comedy is all about reading signals that others send you, working with those signals, and then reflecting them right back.
  - Improv comedy is collaborative in nature. It becomes some sort of intimate conversation that an improv comic has with an audience.
  
  6. OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS make people work.
  - Worst of all, when you ask open-ended questions, you put the burden of keeping the conversation going on your partner.
  - The more specific your questions the better. When you use statements that include information, your conversation partner has an easier job.
  - If you want to be a very effective conversationalist, you need to also pay attention to the micro signals and hints being sent.
  
  7. DETAILS:
  - Effective storytelling is all about being as specific as you can and being as detailed as you can.
  - Great storytelling and improv are all about setting the right framework with intimate details and telling the story that gets the right emotional payoffs from the crowd.
  - Details provide clues to what is important. Details get the reader emotionally invested.
  - It's much easier to talk to somebody in discovery mode compared to damage control mode.
  
  8. STRUCTURE:
  - You should only be working with only a rough framework, and play the details by ear.
  - Improv is about building structures that people can work with, and giving them an emotional journey that they can relate to is something that they can’t help but respond to.
  
  9. SUPPORTING ACTOR:
  - You’re not just telling them things to make them happy.
  - You are just finding the golden nuggets within everyone and bringing them to the light so that they can sparkle.
  
  10. MISC:
  - Emphasize specific emotional high points. These are often what ends up making a story great.
  - Each time a specific element is re-visited, the point just grows stronger, and the laughs get bigger.
  - Success in improv comedy turns more on how well you can read the moment.
  - What you're shooting for is to establish an atmosphere of likeability and collaboration.
  - Even awkward moments are made endearing and charming.
• 
  طارق سيد

  عنوان الكتاب خادع.
  بيدعي انه لتحسين المحادثات.
  ولكن للأسف الكتاب قائم على..... الاستاند اب كوميدي!
  ايوه بالضبط كده بيعلمك ازاي تتقن الفن ده، لو مهتم الكتاب كويس.
  لكن انا مش مهتم والحقيقة تم تضليلي
  #كوكب_الكتب 🌍
  #العراف 😎
• 
  Ruth

  This book is very simple yet, to me, it proved to be very effective. One of the immediate effects that I noticed as I started reading it, not even half way through, is that I feel more liberated in a conversation. I was able to let go (or sometimes not let go completely but become more aware of) the small habits and my own preconceptions about what a conversation is that were weighing me down.
  It's a great feeling and a great confidence boost.
  One of my favourite quotes:
  
  "Many of us think of a conversation as a flow of information, or words. But nothing could be further from the truth. What is really moving between people is energy, ideas, emotion, intention. Become a master at identifying and working with this second, invisible “conversation” and I promise, the word side of things will flow more easily all by itself!"
  
  But don't think that it's a book about energy flow etc. There are plenty simple tips and practical exercises. I loved the fact that the book is short and to the point.
• 
  Mohamed Eldesoky

  الكتاب مفيد جدا بيربط بين فن الارتجال و المحادثة و ازاي تخلي المحادثة بينك وبين اي شخص أداء للترفية مش نقاش ولا جدال زي مثلا :
  #قل نعم و.... : يعني متعرضش حد بيتكلم معاك لا انت وفقك على اللي بيقوله و زود علية افكار من عندك.
  # لا تقل لا : أصعب حاجة توقف المحادثة بينك وبين اي شخص انك تقول لاء
  #استمع جيدا : لا يمكنك التعلم و انت تتحدث
  #التفاصيل : علشان تقوى الارتباط بينك وبين اي شخص لازم تسمعه كويس و كمان تهتم بتفاصيل المحادثة
  دي شوية حاجات علقت في زهني من الكتاب.
  كتاب ممتع بصراحة
• 
  Michelle Voran

  This was a really fun book to read. Sometimes conversation is hard. 😬 I was looking for something to help conversations get easier when they are difficult. So for the people who might be like me and want some help in that department, check this book out! This book had some great suggestions and some great exercises to do to get better at conversation - all based on techniques of improv comedy. So fun! Highly recommend!
• 
  Lobna Elhaw

  #قرأت_لك_هذا_الكتاب
  #تحدث_أمام_الجميع_بجاذبية
  #باتريك_كينج
  
  ما أول ما تبادر لذهنك عندما رأيت غلاف الكتاب؟
  كتاباً يتحدث عن كيفية جعل نفسك متحدثاً لبقاً أمام جمع من الناس ؟ تصورت أنه كتاباً مثل كتاب Talk like Ted؟
  إن كان ذلك ظني فيؤسفني أن أخيب ظنك !
  أنا ظننت مثلك عندما بادرت بشراء الكتاب وخابت توقعاتي !
  بدأ الكاتب حديثه بأن هذا الكتاب سوف يساعدك أن تكون متحدثاً جيداً في ال Stand up comedy
  هذا ما يزعمه ، حتى أنه يبدأ كل فصل بعبارة "قاعدة الكوميديا الارتجالية هنا: …"
  ومع ذلك لم أرى للكوميديا أو أساليبها أي مجال في هذا المجال ، حتى ال Standup Comedy والتي يقف فيها المتحدث على خشبة المسرح ويُلقي بعض الاسكتشات الكوميدية في حضرة جمع من الناس، زعم الكاتب أنها عملية حوار متبادلة بين مُلقيها و الحضور !!
  للأسف كتاب ممل ، غير مفيد ، خادع لإن اسمه وغلافه وما كُتب على ظهره لا يعطي المعنى الحقيقي لمحتواه
  للأسف ندمت على شراءه 🤷‍♀️
  ملحوظة: الترجمة ممتازة لشهرت العالم
  
  #لبنى_الحو
• 
  Matthew Dieudonné

  This book fueled my understanding of how to battle my inner introvert. I’m not the best communicator, but the tools offered in this book absolutely improved both my personal and relationship communication skills. It also helped me notice how others left a conversation without many other options due to their lackluster input to the “improv” (genuine) conversation. Highly recommend as for light reading if you want to drive more fluid conversations in every facet of your life.
• 
  Cippo Lippo

  Easy read, practical and useful
  
  I read the book to improve my com style at work. I see many good advice and tips that I can use either in private life or on the work. I like also the simplicity and the directness of the content.
  Concise format is for me effective. Well do to the Author. If you are in your journey to improve your conversation or communication this is a good book to start or finish with.
• 
  Mark Mangaliman

  Great book on how to use techniques from Improv to everyday conversations. My favorite part of the book was seeing Patrick's basic structure of a convo using the HPM method. That's all you'll get. Not going to spoil it anymore. Pick up the book and read it yourself.
• 
  Jevgenij

  There was some interesting piece of advice here and there + the books was short and easy to read, but there are many flaws with it as well:
  - bold words all over the text, distracting and not helpful
  - according to the author, to have a good conversation, you can't ever disagree and, make being liked your main goal. That might work for staged improv routines, but that's not how real people talk.
  - some advice was too abstract and situational.
• 
  Sai

  Ehhh.. this book is okayyyy
  - Don't have agenda
  - "Yes and" rule of improv where you never disagree but always add to what the previous person was saying
  - Entertaining stories while speaking that are more emotional than intellectual
• 
  C.J. Elwood

  Helpful. Not earth shattering but does have practical tools for the topic. Makes you think.
• 
  Roozbeh Daneshvar

  Overall I liked this book. The author used the principles of improv and applied them to conversations:
  
  

  
  Improv comedy above all else teaches flow, and the ability to make something out of nothing - both of those things in pursuit of a common shared goal of a lasting interaction and deep connection with the people involved. Sound familiar to how a great conversation should be?
  

  
  
  Although the idea was interesting (and useful), I believe the author sometimes went overboard to glue the two concepts to each other. One example is that he warned against asking questions (as is the case in improv) while I believe questions could bring meaning to a conversation (and I believe that the author over-matched conversations with improv).
  
  For many of the concepts I should keep reminding myself over and over, as I have noticed that how many mistakes I make in conversations (e.g. not to be fully present, not to have an agenda, to avoid NOs, etc.)
  
  I was disappointed by the numerous typos and grammar mistakes in the book. It was as if the text had not passed even one round of editing.
  
  Below I am bringing a few quotes from the book.
  
  

  
  If you come into a conversation with a certain expectation about how it will go, or you want to push it into a certain direction, you're going to disrupt any type of flow you establish.
  

  
  
  

  
  When you understand the emotional state of your audience and other players, you are basically given a template for where to go, and when to go there.
  

  
  
  

  
  Perhaps improv is better phrased as using a situation-based approach to social interaction and conversation. When you know the emotional and contextual situation that is being conveyed, you have your guidepost, compass, and map.
  

  
  
  

  
  Adopting the mindset of “Yes, AND...” means that you are collaborating with the person that you're talking with. It means that you are accepting the things and subjects that they bring to the table and working with them by adding to it - this preserves a flow, keeps them interested in the conversation at hand, and makes interactions as smooth as butter.
  

  
  
  

  
  when you ask open-ended questions, you put the burden of keeping the conversation going on your partner.
  

  
  
  

  
  It's not really a question of who can tell a better joke. Success in improv comedy turns more on how well you can read the moment.
  

  
  
  

  
  When you prepare and focus on what you need to say next, you are the opposite of present. You are stuck in your own head, and not listening or observing at all - you're just waiting for your turn to speak.
  

  
  
  

  
  Details are how people connect emotionally to situations and stories, and what make them reminisce and feel the pangs of nostalgia. It's always the fine details that bring a story to life, like someone's scent, or the way a book feels in your hand.
  

  
  
  

  
  Unfortunately, bad conversationalists and bad improv comedians skimp on the details. Instead, they rely on the story alone to deliver the impact. Great storytelling and improv are all about setting the right framework with intimate details and telling the story that gets the right emotional payoffs from the crowd.
  

  
  
  

  
  Real stories draw you in because your own internal narrative is put into the play. You can identify with the character that's going from point A to point B. Whatever drama they go through resonates with your own personal drama and issues. Effective conversationalists know this.
  

  
  
  

  
  people talk to other people for three main reasons. Either they are looking for entertainment, pleasure, or general information and utility.
  

  
  
  

  
  The secret to starting and maintaining great conversations is to learn to have broad outlines, then adapt to the person you are talking to. This is thinking on your feet and improvising.
  

  
  
  

  
  You have to remember that when you talk to other people, the focus of the conversation should be about the conversation. It should not be about what you want and it is not about your agenda or what you are trying to get out of the other person. The moment other people are able to perceive this, guess what will happen? They will shut you out. You instantly become somebody worthy of suspicion and skepticism.
  

  
  
  

  
  If you want to develop better relationships and become a more effective conversationalist and leader, you need to get people to feel that you've listened to them.
  

  
  
  

  
  Improv comedy is about playing off others, and you can't do that if you are constantly waiting for your turn to talk and not listening to others. Sometimes you just need to shut up and listen patiently.
  

  
  
• 
  Heba books

  .
  قرأته مترجماً بعنوان " تحدث أمام الجميع بجاذبية "
  .
  موضوع الكتاب عن كيفية تنمية محادثاتنا مع الأشخاص بصورة طبيعية وعفوية وكيفية فتح مواضيع والرد على الطرف الآخر بطريقة لا تقتل الحوار، يرى الكاتب أن الحوار عامة يشبه الكوميديا الارتجالية من حيث عدم التخطيط للحوار مسبقا وإنما يكون وليداً للحظة، وبصراحة وجدت هذا التشبيه ممتازاً جداً، وبالطبع هذا الكتاب ليس عن تعلم الكوميديا الارتجالية لأني وجدت أن هذا سبب أزمة للبعض، إنما كل ما في الأمر أنك عندما تكون بين مجموعة ما والأهم أنك تريد أن تدخل في هذا الحوار والمشاركة به فالكاتب هنا يدلك على بعض القواعد التي ستساعدك على الاندماج معهم، وبالفعل هي قواعد فعالة وقيمة جداً.
  فمثلا ينصحك أن تستمع لمحاورك جيدا ولا تنتظر دورك في الحديث لتخبر قصتك فأنت بهذا تتجاهله وربما هو لا يريد أن يسمع قصتك ولكنك يمكنك أيضاً أن تخبر قصتك بعد أن تمهد لها وبهذا لن تقتل الحوار وسيستمر قائماً.
  والعديد من النصائح حتى تكون محاورا جيداً، والأجمل أن الأسلوب بسيط وملخص جيدا.
  عن نفسي أفادتني القواعد وسأعمل على نقلها واستخدامها في حواراتي القادمة.
  وأنصحكم به.
• 
  Vazgen

  My background and my work for the past years have shaped my conversations to be like research activities, focused primarily on information exchange. This definitely has its benefits but also results in less meaningful conversations with people around me and more shallow connections.
  This book was the first time I read on the concept of focusing not on myself, not on the person next to me, but on the flaw of conversation itself and the goal - having fun! There are examples in the book that show how close-ended questions can actually help to achieve a better conversation flow, how you can agree with the fact of information being shared rather than the point of view, how to dig yourself out of a really uncomfortable dead end in the conversation and above all, have a fun and memorable experience. I’m definitely going to apply the learnings from this book in the future.
• 
  Melissa

  I've been learning a lot from Patrick King's books, even though I disagree with some things he says, such as "There's no such thing as Too Much Information in a conversation," or " If you're going to watch a biographical movie, you wouldn't want to watch the mundane parts" (I like those parts). It's frustrating that he suggests making a statement in place of a question, such as saying "You seem like you're really into cars" instead of asking what someone's hobbies are. It seems like a weird game to me. I feel like people should just ask a question if they have a question, not step around it with non-question statements and hope the other person can guess that they're actually trying to ask a question. Just say what you mean.
• 
  Eithar Hamed

  دار دون - ترجمة د. شهرت العالم
  
  كيف تكون متحدثًا لبقًا؟ وكيف تمنع الناس من الشعور بالملل بصحبتك؟ يعرض الكاتب بعض النصائح للأشخاص الذين يرغبون في تطوير مهاراتهم في التواصل مع الناس والتفاعل معهم والشعور بالراحة عند التحدث مع الناس بشكل واثق وجذاب أكثر، ويقدم الكاتب تقنيات بسيطة عملية يمكن تطبيقها في المحادثات اليومية لتحسين جودة المحادثات في المواقف الاجتماعية، ويشجع الكتاب على التفكير السريع وكيفية التعامل مع المواقف غير المتوقعة، ويشجع على الثقة بالنفس أثناء الكلام والاهتمام بالإستماع للغير وعدم مقاطعتهم، لكنه أيضًا ركز بشكل أساسي على فكرة إضافة الكوميديا المرتجلة إلى موضوع الحديث وكيفية جعل الناس مستمتعون في الحديث معك أكثر وهذا ما أبعده بعض الشيء عن الاهتمام بالمحادثات العميقة.
• 
  Andy Schmitt

  Certainly didn’t power through this one as it was more instructional and when listening could easily bounce in and out but overall did enjoy picking up a few tidbits on ways to improve your conversations.
  
  Specifically to be in the moment. Never have preloaded answers or responses. Embrace AND. Never kill the flow of conversations (jokes can often do this if not funny). And practice and use instant feedback to get better.
  
  I may come back to this but again not insanely riveting. We all can (and should) look to improve our conversations as they are the root of all relationships so this is a healthy book to do just that.
• 
  Richard Edbury

  This is a great book to make you think about how you converse and as such does what you want and makes you converse better. After the brief intro, the start is exceptional the first few points in the book will benefit almost everyone.
  
  Whilst I cannot point to any one thing that is definitely wrong I can say that there is some advice in this book that is dubious. At the very least there is advice that will be interpreted incorrectly by large numbers of people. I still recommend it but don't follow the advice blindly.
• 
  Alejandro

  I've been following Improv books for some time, mostly interested in applying those skills into organizations. Usually, the books talk about improv games, some of them on how o use those games to improve innovation and communication.
  This book brings some tips on how to apply improv techniques to a conversation. I see this attempt as an opportunity to expand the moments where improv could be practiced, no more than that.
• 
  Mishaal

  If you are completely unfunny you might find that this book helped you find some ways to crack jokes. This is the only thing i enjoyed about this book. However, humor and joke making is barely covered. So, I suggest finding a blog about making jokes, it will have more material.
  
  The rest of the book covers basic conversational skills.
  Even if you are completely socially inept, there are better books that can help you there. For instance:
  -How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
  -How To Talk To Anyone by Leil Lowndes
• 
  Paul

  As one reviewer noted, the author began by saying that he took one improv course and saw some parallels between being improv and conversation and never found the time to take another improv course. The suggestions that he takes from improv are weak. The examples are forced and they do not make one sound witty. Instead, he his suggestions would make one like sound ridiculous. I can't believe this actually warranted publication. It was easily the worst book I read in the past 10 years.
• 
  Abdullah Obaji

  الكثير منا يعاني من مشاكل حول مهاراتنا في الحوار والمحادثة بشكل عام، وربما سيساعدك هذا الكتاب في حل هذه المُشكلة إلى الأبد.
  _________📚
  يعرض باتريك كينغ بعض الحلول والاستراتيجيات لهذه المُشكلة التي يعاني منها الكثير من الناس، بطريقةٍ بسيطة وسلسة بعيداً عن التعقيد.
  _________📚
  شعرت أن هذا الكتاب بسيط ولكنني لم أشعر بأي مُتعةٍ أثناء قرائته، كان المحتوى متواضعاً للغاية ولم يُعجبني على الإطلاق، أسلوب الوصف غير جيد وسرعة طرح الأفكار كانت تُفقد الكتاب قيمته الحقيقية، ربما كانت المشكلة من الكاتب أو من المُترجم لا أدري.
  _________📚
  خاتمة الكتاب والطريقة التي انتهى بها عادية، لم يكن كتاباً مميزاً حقاً.
  _________📚
  باختصار💡:
  ليست من الكتب التي أنصح بقرائتها، هناك كتب أفضل وأجمل في هذا المجال بالذات.
• 
  zz

  loved this book, it's been my shining grace in a world of awkward conversation and dead air. seeing conversation from the perspective of a improv comedian and concepts of flow, emotional intelligence, spontaneity, etc have helped not only conversations flow smoother, but it's become a sort of game every time, which just adds a little spark of fun to everything. it's a pretty simple read and doesn't throw a lot at you, just lets you come to conclusions on your own which I love. would reccomend!
• 
  Orhun

  I was very skeptical at the beginning but the book proved itself over and over again. Although its a very short read(or listen) its packed with many wisdom nuggets.
  I dont know how the author could get all these information regarding improv theater that fast, but he is fairly accurate and does wonderful job linking them back to the real life.
  
• 
  Andria

  I can see this book being hit or miss depending on your personality and what you're trying to get out of it. So far, I've found the tips pretty helpful. Good ideas on easy ways to drive stalled conversations and reminders to be present and fully invested. Basic concepts but good reminders that are easy to understand, with some tips throughout on ways to practice and improve. Improv(e)? Eh.