A Mind At Home With Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around by Byron Katie

A Mind At Home With Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around Reviews

• 
  William Arsenis

  This is one of the deepest books by Byron Katie.
  
  She uses personal examples from her experiences, opening up like never before.
  
  If you’re new to The Work (Katie’s technique—four questions and a turnaround), I wouldn’t necessarily recommend starting off with A MIND AT HOME WITH ITSELF.
  
  As far as non-dual teachings go, Katie is about as radical as they come, with the exception, perhaps, of Tony Parsons.
  
  What I love about Katie is that she provides more than some theoretical discussion on non-duality. She offers a clear practice in the form of what she refers to as “The Work.”
  
  This is the experiential side of everything she talks about, and it is for everyone, even kids, if they are open to it.
  
  The Work can be used (or seen) as a self-help technique, or it can be used as a big step in the direction of spiritual freedom.
  
  While Katie does give an example or two of applying The Work, the practical aspect is not the focus of this book as it is with most of the other books she’s written. A MIND AT HOME WITH ITSELF describes in intimate detail the experience that is the freedom revealed through The Work.
  
  It is similar in many ways, to a previous book she has written, A THOUSAND NAMES FOR JOY. Both books offer Katie’s interpretation of ancient texts translated by her husband, Stephen Mitchell.
  
  Whereas A THOUSAND WORDS FOR JOY examines excerpts from the Tao Te Ching, A MIND AT HOME WITH ITSELF probes one of the crown jewels of Buddhism, The Diamond Sutra.
  
  This book knocks it out of the park, it really does.
  
• 
  Nancy

  Uuuuuu. This one didn't hold water for me, alas. Because Loving What Is turned my world inside out. Perhaps because that was the first time I'd given letting-something-be-itself some thoughtful attention. This, however, feels like an effort to keep her good name in print. I tried to find the Diamond Sutra relevant, but no dice big time. (The introductory chapters are almost an apology for the whole book and the irrelevance of the Diamond Sutra. heh.) Also: with her earlier books you always have this tiny doubt: this is all well and good, but you can't really live like this can you? Here, you find out, no. You can't. I believe Byron Katie has glorious caretakers. And am grateful for that. And sad to find the edge of usefulness for her for me.
• 
  jimstoic

  When I keep Byron Katie audio books on rotation in my car, I'm a happier person. They remind me of the joy inherent in embracing reality. Instead of muttering "Why is this #@%& person driving 55 in the left lane!?" I accept that it's time for me to slow down for a bit. I remember the times that I was the out-of-towner driving slower than others would like, and I feel affection for the person driving the car that's making me slow down.
  
  This book consists of passages from the Diamond Sutra, read by Katie's husband, Stephen Mitchell, who interpreted them, followed by Katie talking about how she understands the passage and its real-world implications. The audio book features two other readers, a woman and a man, who question Katie. They also take turns taking the place of people with whom Katie has done The Work of questioning their thoughts. I found the section about the gay man whose mother should understand and accept him very enlightening.
  
  I understand that Byron Katie isn't for everyone. It can be challenging to accept that reality is always right in the midst of disasters and the current political environment. But a person whose thoughts are causing his suffering is less able to serve than a person who lets go of the thoughts that cause his suffering. Maybe Katie is only for those of us whose suffering would be overwhelming without her teachings.
• 
  Walter Weston

  I struggle with this one. On one hand, I disagree with the idea that nothing exists. I believe in universal truth-that things exist. But on the other hand, so much of reality is interpreted through the lense of our mind. The glass is either half full or half empty. The four questions seem like an extremely important way to determine what thoughts are stressing you out. I have used these questions a few times in my life since picking up this book and found it immensely helpful. So it’s odd but even though I disagree with the main premise “nothing exists”, I found myself really enjoying this book. And maybe that’s the point.
• 
  John Bravo

  The author may very well be “enlightened”, but I found that she spoke in circles in this book. Repeating “nothing exists”, “You and I are in fact one” does not allow the reader to actually experience this truth.
  
  I know that many have found her teachings helpful. What it may amount to is personal preference.
  
  If you like the teaching style of Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, or Gangaji then this particular book may not be for you. If you like Krishnamurti then it might be.
• 
  Marilyn

  Byron Katie shares with her readers her enlightenment and how four questions changed her life forever. It is so much more than just another book on mindfulness and I would just like to give the best compliment I could....the fact that so much of the writing was important enough for me to highlight.
  She shows how we have to look at things and people in our lives from the perspective of the need to question things in our lives....that suffering comes either from being trapped in a painful past or anticipating a dangerous future.
  Her four basic questions: (1) Is it true? (2) Can you absolutely know that it's true? (3) How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? and (4) Who would you be without the thought? and the Work that she describes in this book can really be a turnabout for so many problems we face today.
  An excellent read for anyone dealing with anxiety and worry in their lives.
  I was selected to receive an ARC of this wonderful book and totally recommend it highly.
  
• 
  Suzanne

  Apparently the author experienced a breakdown resulting in her belief that she now has Buddha-like qualities to share with the multitudes. Co-author has transcribed her work with others, allowing her to reach even more people than she previously thought possible. This was not the book I thought I was reviewing; I was disappointed and did not finish.
• 
  Shaun

  Terrible. The introductory chapters made me not even want to read the book. They are full of excuses from the coauthor and frankly make very little sense as to why they even exist???. I think that her 4 questions are great...but the nonsensical quotes and statements were too much of a turn off for this science-minded Buddha loving gal! It actually made me question the validity of Byron Katie’s experience. Maybe she just figured out a good way to tap into the right market at the right time...I find little substance and lots of talking in circles in her “truths.” Obviously, I’m not a fan. I’ll take Thich Nhat Hanh and Lama Surya Das over this any day. I’m sorry I let someone talk me into this book! Ugh!!!
• 
  Heather

  I am a big fan of "The work". I have loved Katie's previous books and have found her process of four questions and turn arounds to be an incredibly helpful tool for analyzing and disproving painful thoughts and feelings. This book however often left me scratching my head and wondering "what the heck was she just trying to say?"
• 
  David

  I enjoy reading books about mysterious happening, psychic phenomenon, and the unexplained. I don't necessarily believe these things (hey, I'm an engineer) but concede that somethings have to make you wonder. I thought that A Mind At Home With Itself: How Asking Four Questions Can Free Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Turn Your World Around by Byron Katie would be an interesting addition to my readings but, sadly, I was disappointed. I'm not sure what occurred whether physical or mental breakdown of some kind, but to suddenly recover and be enlightened (even though she also says there is no such thing as enlightenment) was a big stretch for me. Throughout the book there was a lot of repetition mixed with contradictory statements that I found very confusing like There is no past and no future and no present! Having read a little on Buddhism I'm not sure what she is preaching is really Buddhism. And if she truly does things like give away her house and pet because someone asked for it, why does she sell books and charge for speaking engagements. I found myself saying "Really?" to myself constantly throughout the book. I did find a few thought-provoking ideas or different ways of looking at things which is why my rating wasn't one star, but the core messages in this book were a big miss for me. Not recommended.
• 
  Dinah

  Wow was this hard to get through. Not through any fault of the audiobook presentation, I will note. No, it's that for a book about releasing your focus on yourself as separate from other people it was almost unrelentingly focused on Byron Katie, both the person and the business.
  
  So why keep reading it? The Four Questions* and the Turnaround** are so dang useful. They really can unlock some very locked up thinking. However, it turns out that this is a case where you don't want to drink the water straight from the well. Those worksheets? Recommended. This book? Not recommended.
  
  *
  Do these exercises in writing. It's hard to pin down what the mind is doing if you're trying to do so in your head.
  Question 1: Is it true?
  Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true?
  Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
  Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
  
  **
  Write down your most selfish, petty, upset set of statements about what is happening. Examine the statements with the four questions, then try turning them around. "They don't listen to me" becomes "I don't listen to me" and "I don't listen to them" and "They do listen to me" and examine those with the four questions. Also find ways that turnaround is true in your life. (Not all turnarounds make sense for your situation, but this is the basic approach)
• 
  Paul LaFontaine

  Byron Katie walks through an accessible translation of the Diamond Sutra using practical examples of how the transforming beliefs in our thinking is what the ancient wisdom encourages us to do.
  
  A wonderful book. Both the author's insights and the translation of the Sutra. Have listened to multiple times. Great work.
  
  Highly recommend
• 
  Jim Hussey

  Loved that Katie is going deeper into "enlightenment" and freedom. More good examples of The Work in action and also Katie's experience of Waking up in Barstow.
  
  I will read this again, Or more likely, listed to the audio book again. Inspirational.
• 
  Jodie Gale

  I attended The Work weekend retreat many years ago and found the 4 questions quite useful in my personal and professional life. However, this is my first Byron Katie book and I really didn't enjoy it.
• 
  Aly

  Incredible! Thank you, Byron Katie for sharing The Work with the world. I don't know what life would be like without it!
• 
  Elizabeth

  Some good ideas wrapped in insanity.
• 
  Emily

  This book is sending me.
  I hate it and resist it.
  I love it and am moved by it.
  I want to fight it.
  I want to keep rereading it forever.
  Gonna do the work on those thoughts.
  It probably deserves multiple stars but something fishy feels like it’s going on as well. There is still some dualistic thinking when she talks about pure mind.
  
  Ugh. And wow. Those are the two feelings this book brings.
• 
  Simone Pedroso

  I read this book very slowly, enchanted with the messages. Every time a bell rang inside me and the feeling of “that’s it” wrapped me like a warm blanket, I closed the book and turned to sleep. I slept soundly ever since reading one chapter every night.
  
  Katie has a special super-power: she speaks to your soul, bypassing all mind, intellect and memory layers. It goes deep. What she says is more than the sutra itself and yet, less than complicated explanations for information that is already within you, just waiting to come up.
  
  Did I “finish” this book? No. Ever. This one has been nominated the one I will read a couple of pages before closing my eyes at night. The feeling of gratitude I have after every chapter is so precious!
• 
  Paula Hagar

  Guess it's the wrong time for this book for me. I forced myself to get 20% of the way through it, but it seemed she was saying the same things over and Over and OVER and it was going in one ear and out the other. It felt pretentious and overly philosophical in an - ahem - boring kind of way. The Work, I guess, is not for me at this time.
• 
  Sarah

  Such wisdom in this book! Definitely challenged me at times but loved how clear Byron would explain what The Work is. It reminded me a lot of some of Eckhart Tolle's teachings about non resistance to what is and living/appreciating the present moment ✌🏽️.
• 
  Errin Weisman

  Maybe it's just me but I couldn't even follow her train of thought even as the co-author is interpreting. Continually while reading, I'm thinking, "is she manic or schizoaffective?!?!" :/
• 
  Erin

  I love 'the work' and the appendix is great. While I loved the examples of the work and some of the other concepts shared, I had a difficult time connecting with the broader book.
• 
  Xavier Guillaume

  Oh my gosh! Byron Katie is my new favorite person! A Mind at Home with Itself has changed my life in how I view my life problems. 1st: Is it true? 2nd: Can you absolutely know it's true? 3rd: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought? 4th: Who would you be without the thought? Byron Katie created these 4 questions, which she believes can solve all of our problems.
  
  The major premise of her philosophy is that suffering is caused when reality does not meet what we want or expect. "My coworker doesn't respect me." "My husband doesn't love me." "My daughter doesn't listen to me." "My mother judges me." What we want is my coworker to respect me, my husband to love me, my daughter to listen to me, and my mother to stop judging me. Well, first, we must ask ourselves, are any of these things true? Maybe they are not even true, but we are creating a narrative in our mind of what is reality that is not actually reality. It could be true though. If it is true, we must then ask ourselves, can we absolutely know it is true? Could there be something we are missing? Maybe we are not seeing the full picture. It may be hard to prove our thoughts. And when we open ourselves up to the possibility that our thoughts are not true, it can be a very freeing experience. Next we must feel how we feel with the thought, and then how we feel without the thought. When I think this thought I feel angry, my fist clenches, I want to scream, I want to run away. Without the thought I feel calm, I feel loving, I feel accepting. Processing all of this can be very therapeutic and very freeing.
  
  Another premise of Byron Katie's philosophy is nothing is real and nothing really matters. She thinks of the world as a dream. When things happen, they aren't even real. This might sound scary, but to her it is very freeing. If nothing really matters, then we can do whatever we want. How amazing life can be when we don't limit ourselves. In the end, whether we are rich or poor, happy or sad, healthy or unhealthy, we all die. We can spend all our lives trying to be perfect, but we can get hit by a bus the next day. Life happens, death happens, and all are a beautiful thing. When death does not even seem scary anymore, what can hold us back? I think importantly though, Byron Katie comes from a place of love. She never preaches nothing matters so let's go ahead and make the world miserable and be selfish. She preaches that in the end love always wins. But that's just her. If you choose to be an asshole, she doesn't really care because that is your choice. Who is she to decide what you should and should not do? Life is beautiful when people are free to choose what they think is best for them.
  
  Lastly, I should probably mention that this book includes a translation of the Diamond Sutra by Stephen Mitchell. I believe he translated the Chinese text. It is quite confusing, but there are gems of wisdom. The Diamond Sutra really is incomprehensible on the first reading, but I believe additional readings could prove enlightening.
  
  I plowed through this book, although this is probably a book that would benefit from you taking your time. The book also includes many personal stories, which I found enlightening. The stories highlight how Byron Katie's work actually works in practice. Love that! Her other books are more of the same. More people, more stories. I really like this book though. I recommend it if you are thinking of upgrading your life.