| Title | : | Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie |
| Author | : | |
| Rating | : | |
| ISBN | : | 1401921795 |
| ISBN-10 | : | 9781401921798 |
| Format Type | : | Paperback |
| Number of Pages | : | 336 |
| Publication | : | First published January 1, 2008 |
Although these dialogues make fascinating reading—some are both hilarious and deeply moving at once—they are intended primarily as teaching tools. Each took place in front of an audience, and Katie never lost connection with that audience, repeatedly reminding each person in the room to follow the dialogues inwardly, asking themselves the questions the participant must ask. The dialogue between Katie and these volunteers is an external enactment of precisely the kind of dialogue each person can have with their own thoughts. The results, even in the seemingly most dire situation, can be unimagined freedom and joy.
Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie Reviews
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I think you either really "get" Katie, or you don't. If you do, you'll like this book. However, if you haven't tried anything by her before, I strongly suggest starting with "Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life", where she better explains how to do The Work. In this book, she's just "doing" The Work with lots of different people, and demonstrating how effective The Work is with nearly any type of problem.
I am continually amazed at how Katie's system of questioning your thoughts really works. Reading this book was like a refresher course, a reminder to keep questioning. And there's just something so positive and upbeat about Katie, that just reading this book made me feel good. -
Katie Byron is always inspiring! The biggest lesson I learned from this book is to not get angry or frustrated with my thoughts, but rather approach them with understanding. It's way easier to allow my thoughts to let go of me rather than me trying to let go of my thoughts. :)
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If it has been some time since you read Loving What Is, this is the perfect fresh-up. These examples feel just as brutal and weird and unlocking as those in the earlier book, and why would you want it any other way.
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Truly appreciate the concept of questioning our thoughts. The application as another reviewer notes truly can / seems quite harmful to marginalized communities and or experiences of pure harm. I would recommend if utilizing this tool it isn’t applied in situations like: harassment, sexual abuse, racism, or any structure that literally oppresses a human. Our thoughts are powerful AND we must hold humans and systems accountable for harm. My two cents.
Two star because if applied responsibly and in certain contexts, trust this model can / does have value. -
I read this in the spring... it was amazing to go through her questions and work through stories I’ve been holding onto. But it hasn’t stuck with me as a continuing practice unfortunately. I should revisit.
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Interesting philosophy. I didn't like the "dialogue" set up of the book, it starts to feel very redundant after the first 2-3 examples.
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These questions could change your life. Why not see for yourself?
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By questioning our thought we can free ourselves of those that hold us back from compassion for ourselves and others. Byron Katie does this better than anyone else and teaches us how to do it.
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HIGHLIGHTS:
1. Free the mind, and the body follows.
2. JUDGEMENTS: As soon as we sit in these judgments and we can see where they are true about ourselves, our whole life changes. And that’s the power of truth.
- Judging as with the minders. What you can begin to do is write your judgment down and question them. That will give you a sane, happy life.
- There’s a lot of freedom in “I don’t know “. It’s being a child. This is very sweet. There’s nothing to know. It’s level ground.
3. Obeying the law is peace. Arguing with the law, trying to get away with something, creates a lot of stress in your life. I love the law of the land. They make my life very simple. And when we’re free inside, no government can take that freedom from us.
4. Mentally stay in your own business. If you live this way, we will follow you. You’re the living example. We teach where we live, not what we talk about.
- If people stop growing and learning, the world gets scary.
- What is hell for you may not be hell for someone else.
- It’s our thoughts that drive us crazy, not death, not the loss of a child, not life at all. Our thoughts about life, that are a lack of sobriety, that is the lack of some of the sobriety. Our stressful thoughts, until we question them, we’re drunk.
5. Put integrity above superstition. And just face it head-on.
6. if I say yes to him and it’s not true for me, I’m the one who throws things off balance, not him. If I say yes when I may know, I train him to order me around.
7. When you give a dishonest yes, you lose respect for yourself. The next time that happens, you’ll feel a lack of respect. And at that moment, you can change your mind if you want. You’re free.
8. All our realities are kind of made-up projections.
- I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and gods. For me, the word God means reality is God because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else controls, I called that God‘s business.
- It’s in our internal seeking that the enemy holds the answers for us. They have the answers if we’re in a hurry.
- You’re getting a glimpse of your ego and how it distorts your world. And when the power moves to another polarity, you start living in a state of clarity and joy.
- The reason people don’t like to be alone is that they’re alone with their thoughts. And if you aren’t at peace with what you think, you don’t like the company you keep.
9. That’s the power of going inside to that wisdom inside you.
- When we see your patterns and were awake to them after the fact, then we tend not to make the same mistakes again. And when we do, we are aware of them. And it changes everything.
10. Your path is showing you what’s necessary. -
I mean... I get it. Katie's approach isn't anything earth-shattering, it's found in Buddhist meditation exercises, in modern psychology with thought replacement techniques, and self-help books everywhere. The issue I took with the book was less about Katie's "Work" and more with her technique. She repeats questions over and over until the person on the other end of the dialogue says "No, it's not true" or "Yes, I would be better without the story." Sometimes it seems to come easy and Katie applauds the person's experience with The Work. Sometimes it comes harder and Katie applauds the eventual acceptance of her view.
Ultimately, there were nuggets of the book that I will keep — she had some good things to say, it certainly wasn't a waste of time. But I don't think this wisdom is best found from Katie — there's so much out there on the power of changing thought, that thoughts aren't realities, the importance of identifying and questioning what we think is true about our experience. I just don't think Katie's "one size fits all, it's so simple!" self-help approach is the best way to really understand the power of thought. She wants the reader, the audience, etc. to acknowledge that the opposite thought of what we're feeling is nearly always true. And it seems to only work in the context of this book under the guise of "judge your neighbor" — and that perspective was worth the read alone. I think we do — or I do, speaking only for myself — project the flaws we don't like to admit we have onto others as their fatal flaws. Here "The Work" makes sense.
There have been many critics of Katie's over the years who have claimed she sells snake oil, that she is a shuckster and a charlatan. I wouldn't necessarily go that far. It's not like she's breaking into Forbes richest 100 or anything. But I did feel both the reader and the person in the dialogue with her were both being bullied into accepting Katie's perspective, and they were convinced with roundabout anecdotal wisdom until they did. It was okay. I'm not disappointed that I read it. But I also won't be recommending it to anyone. -
Some good examples of how we create untrue thoughts or stories about other people or about situations that negatively affect our lives. She shows how to do what she calls "The Work" on your thoughts to identify whether or not we can absolutely know that they are true, or if we are just creating a "story". We all have stories about ourselves and others that bring us down or create negativity in our lives. Her work has inspired me to not only question my responses to others, but also to question my belief about others before responding; it will also aid in my health coaching to help others see where they may be stuck in negative stories in their own lives.
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What we all think of as our own personal burden, or personal triumph, or stressful thought is actually not unique, not special, not our own. It is simply the human condition. Katie points out that there is no such thing as a "new" stressful thought. They are all recycled, and more interestingly, OPTIONAL. We can set these burdens down and see past them if we simply choose to do so.
The Work of Katie is actually a life changing experience for those interested in finding out what is true. Recommended, highly. -
Another thought provoking book from Byron Katie. Unlike her other books, this focuses solely on dialogues between Katie and people doing The Work. There are a wide range of topics helpful to anyone interested in knowing the truth and moving forward. By inserting my own beliefs into the dialogues and "listening" to Katie's thoughtful and oftentimes humorous responses on the page, I have found this book to be an invaluable resource in my own Work.
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Maybe I'm just not there yet, but I'm always hugely squicked out when she starts turning around abuse. That said, my own studies of the human mind through meditation inevitably lead me to the same conclusions, personally. I'm just not sure how I feel about that or that I would try to tell someone else what to think. For the day to day, I find Byron Katie's work quite invaluable, and this book of dialogues is no exception.
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As always, fascinating stuff. This book is transcriptions that Katie has with people doing inquiry - 15 of them on different subjects/beliefs. These are my favourite parts of her other books, so one entirely of dialogues is fantastic. Seeing people transform by this method is awesome, and it's so simple.
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Work your mind and find truth within you.
Is this true?
Can you really know that it is true?
How do you feel, think or behave when you believe this thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
Now... turn it around.
... clarity. -
I get her point. I really do. Maybe after I do some worksheets I'll give it a few more stars.
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This was an issue of timing rather than of not liking the book. It's the middle of NaNo, and the library called the book back before I could get far into it.
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Great book for re-writing your story!
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Byron Katie rocks! Only read two of the dialogues in this book, the only two that really relate to me at this point (thank goodness!), and both were helpful as hell.
