The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb

The Marriage Builder Reviews

• 
  Lindsey Hendricks

  As I prepare to go into marriage, this book both encouraged and challenged me. The author doesn’t shy away from the hard stuff, and I appreciated his honesty and lack of fluff and BS throughout the book. He laid out an incredibly thorough and detailed framework for building a Godly marriage, including addressing the hard stuff that *will* happen, and so much of what he said is applicable to *all* relationships. This book revealed so much to me about the true meaning of marriage, and I’m so glad that I decided to read this before getting married. This is definitely a book I want my fiancé to read and a book I’ll come back to during my marriage. I’d highly recommend to other engaged people/couples!
• 
  Matthew

  I have a love-hate relationship with this book. It is insightful and challenging. Working through the study questions for each chapter was revealing and at times made me want to throw it out the window! Every married couple should work through this together.
• 
  Kathryn Jones

  I loved this book. Add me to Larry Crabb's fan club because I've never read a book of his that I didn't love. This is without a doubt the best marriage book I have ever read. But more than that, the themes in this book are key for living the Christian life, not just for the Christian marriage.
  
  Even if you are not struggling in your marriage, you should read this book. I was truly encouraged and got a bit of a wake up call. Sometimes I really do live with myself at the center of my life. But when Jesus is in the center, I can give and minister to my husband because that's what I've been called to do. Not because I'm expecting something in return.
• 
  Lois

  I’m pretty picky about marriage books but I did like this one overall. I loved the emphasis he put upon finding our identity and security in Christ, not our spouse. However, sometimes it seemed like his solution was always “identity and security in Christ” which is true but also the person needed some therapy! I never want to downplay Christ’s role in our lives but I do believe He gives us tools like good Christian therapists and counselors to help us work through trauma and other issues.
• 
  Ryan Jankowski

  This is the best book I've read on marriage to date. Highly recommended and one in which I intend to use frequently going forward.
• 
  Ashley

  Many marriage books affirm my beliefs. This one challenged them.
  
  Dr. Larry Crabb fleshes out this central message: What you believe about God determines how you find meaning and love.
  
  "Beliefs determine goals."
  
  IF marriage is an opportunity to capture the very heart of Christ—to be used by God to bring my spouse into a more satisfying appreciation of their worth as a person who is secure and significant in Jesus Christ, THEN my response must be to find my ultimate fulfillment in Christ.
  
  This awareness, "frees me from self-centered preoccupation with my own needs; they are met. It is now possible for me to give to others out of my fullness rather than needing to receive from others because of my emptiness." 
  
  A solid read. 👏
• 
  Dave Boice

  After recently getting married, my wife and I joined a book study at our local church. We joined four other couples and read a chapter from The Marriage Builder every week then returned with our thoughts. At first, the book seemed very promising. Our lead couple from the study swore by the book's insights and it seemed like the testimonies within the book were solid as well.
  
  As we dove into it, the writing was phenomenal, but analogies and illustrations got to be ridiculous. The Platform of Truth was strange, but what takes the cake is the Spirit Oneness chapter featuring the stick man swinging from the "Cliff of Safety" and hanging tightly onto God from the "Rope of Love" in hopes of not falling into the "Abyss of Rejection." It looked like a twisted, spiritual take of Hangman. Discussing with the other couples, we all knew what the point was getting at, but was hard to get past such a bizarre illustration.
  
  There's several points to each chapter. In the last chapter, we started getting restless from point after point after point, with some points adding in sub-points. We were lost.
  
  After finishing the book, the book seems to hit home more when my spouse and I get into a disagreement. From that aspect, the book helps with reminding ourselves to minister to one another and have that security and significance with Christ. If anything the book drives home, that's someone we can take away from it. The more bumps our marriage experiences, my hope is the advice will resonate more.
  
• 
  Yajaira Marmolejo

  Up to now, I have loved every book I have read from Larry Crabb. However, for some reason, this one didn't really touch me as usual. I felt like most of the things he said were things that I already knew. Maybe I have been reading too much about this topic to the point I feel I have already over heard all these things or maybe the fact I am not married and because of it, didn't mean much. Although, I do have a relationship and I could partly relate. To me, when reading, I felt like I needed to know or be guided in how to get to the place where Crabb was pointing. How do you transferred from desiring my partner to meet my needs to meeting my needs in Christ? I didn't experience this transition expressed in the book and that left me a little disappointing. Maybe my heart wasn't in the right place, but nevertheless, read it for yourself for I know that the Lord can use many men to help us and lead us closer to him and I believe Crabb is one of those men.
• 
  Chad CG

  I enjoyed Crabb’s scholarly perspective and writing style, and the way he addressed things clearly, logically and from the view point of a counselor. It felt like a good blend of psychological and religious understanding on marriage dynamics and presented complex ideas in straightforward ways. The main take away for me was obviously the idea of ministry vs manipulation. I thought this book helped me see the subtleties of a manipulative heart and how easy it can be to confuse desires with goals, and because of that, resort to manipulation. The book presented some real challenging ways of viewing and living out marriage but I think those are easier to welcome because of how well he explains the reasons behind why we should live that way. I definitely believe this book has shown me a lot of work I need to do in my heart and relationship with the Lord and my wife.
• 
  DeeDee Scarberry

  Excellent read. Convicting, truthful, real, and challenges husbands and wives to really lay down their lives, let go of control, focus on what you can change about yourself, and ultimately be fulfilled and satisfied in God’s love, so then be able to pour out love, acceptance, and forgiveness for your spouse, whether or not it seems they deserve it. I will definitely keep coming back to this book. It holds truths that I think will be very helpful during the difficult seasons where I might need a shift in my perspective and thinking.
• 
  David Taylor

  This was yet another book that I was introduced to through my Marriage and Family Systems course at Moody Bible Institute. This was such a challenging and insightful read. One of the main things that I am taking away from this book is the idea that if I want to improve my marriage I must put more effort into growing my dependency on Christ.
  
  This book challenged me to remember that God gas and will supply all of my needs according to His glorious riches. It challenged me to redefine my needs and desires.
  
  10/10 would recommend!
• 
  Jessalyn Plant

  It has been a while since I read this one and my life situation has changed dramatically. From reading it as a young single Bible school student, to now reading it as a married woman and a mother. The truths within its pages still resonate. This book is a thoughtful one and has less "actionable" tips and tricks than a person might be looking for. The foundation for right living is right thinking and this book will help align the two.
• 
  Rohan

  Didn't finish completely (ended up skimming the last few chapters) but the first few were really helpful. Reminding me to build my identity in Christ first, that will most help a strong marriage. (Obvious, but key!)
  
  Also had some great scaffolding for ways to start conversations that help conflict go well.
• 
  Dalen

  Had some very helpful concepts and frameworks, especially the contrast between ideas and goals that the author used throughout the book. At times it seemed a little closer to nouthetic counseling ideas than I'm comfortable with, but overall I felt like it was a solid book with helpful advice.
• 
  Shelley

  I’m giving this 5 stars because the ideas are so different from what the typical marriage book promotes. The info seems like it could lead to much more significant change in interaction between spouses if these concepts are applied by both. Not easy but worthwhile.
• 
  Dana

  One of the best marriage books I have read so far as Crabb gets to meat of issues we have in marriage, with ourselves, and with God.
• 
  Veronica

  TOO Highbrow
  
  My husband and I tried to read this together. We had to keep reading paragraphs over and over. It should have been written in everyman language.
• 
  Sarah Jones

  We read this for our couples small group and it provided a good base for conversation as well as questions in the back of the book.
• 
  Meg Pileggi

  Great book! I recommend this to all my married friends. I read this while deployed on a ship and found that it was so good I bought the audio book and continue to listen to it regularly.
• 
  Philip Brown

  Good system, and helpful examples of how it works itself out practically, and best of all, it’s gospel centred.
• 
  Justin Blackwood

  Exceptionally helpful! I would defintely reccomend this to couples. As a pastor I will for sure be using the information contained within.
• 
  Casey

  One of the BEST books about marriage I've ever read!
• 
  Emily

  This book is great! A great resource for engaged and married couples about the Biblical function of marriage.