The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande

The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict Reviews

• 
  Tiana

  The Peacemaker series by Ken Sande should be a foundational book for every Christian, especially at conversion or when becoming a member in your local church body. I would even be as bold to say “required reading” along with the statement of faith, church by-laws and member’s covenant.
  
  This book serves a clear, functional and biblical reference on how to resolve conflicts with believers and a foundational guide toward how to address conflict with unbelievers.
  
  I carried this book with me everywhere for months the first time I read it back in August 2020. I encourage others to keep this as a go-to, especially as a resource in your daily walk.
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  Abbie

  This book is an excellent resource on working through conflict in a biblical way. I know I will be returning to it again and again!
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  Haley Annabelle

  This book contains fabulous biblical peacemaking principles. As I read it weekly, I was amazed in the way that God used each chapter in my life. Almost every chapter came at exactly the opportune time. This is a book that I will surely refer back to many times both in my personal life and in counseling.
  
  My only complaint is that Ken Sande’s perspective in writing this book is much different than I expected going in. It is definitely a book written more for those involved in material disputes rather than extreme sin issues. Hence, the chapter on church discipline is not entirely biblical.
  Overall, would definitely recommend!
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  Bambi Moore

  Very good, practical, guidebook solidly based on Biblical principles. Covers root causes of conflict (with anyone, including a spouse), communication, what Biblical forgiveness is, consequences of unforgiveness, example after example of grace-filled reconciliations, sinful tactics we use to avoid loving confrontation, why conflict is full of opportunity and much more. Extremely thorough. I skimmed parts on court litigations.
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  Jossy Suleivy Ramos

  I have read this book a total of 3 times, one me and husband other a book study with friends, and the other for biblical counseling class. I had never read a book that was detailed so well when it came to dealing with conflict, and helped me to view it biblically. Teaches how to make peace biblically in your relationships but also in regards to our relationship to God. It’s truly amazing and I refer to it a lot.
• 
  Bob Price

  Conflict is inevitable. You put two people in a room and you will get at least five different opinions on something and they will fight.
  
  Ken Sande's book The Peacemaker is designed to help resolve conflict and be restored to one another. The concept may seem simple, and a lot of what Sande says is common sense, but it is still a book that should be required reading, especially in the church.
  
  Sande's main point is that God hates conflict and that we should do whatever we can to resolve conflict. Or, in other words, Jesus meant it when he said, "Blessed are the peacemakers".
  
  His method is very simple: (1) Get the log out of your own eyes. For true conflict resolution to occur, we need to do some self examination on our part to understand how we contribute to the conflict. (2) Talk to the person you are having conflict with. Truly talk to them and try to restore the relationship as quickly as you can. (3) Restore gently. If necessary, you may need to take people along with you to help in conflict resolution. For those who may be wondering, Sande does base his method on Matthew 18.
  
  This book is written mainly for Christians, although I think non-Christians may benefit from the general precepts Sande proposes in the book.
  
  Sande's writing is very clear and very practical. This would make an ideal book for a book or study group.
  
  I highly recomend this book for all Christians, especially pastors.
  
  Grade: B+
• 
  David Zimmerman

  I purchased my first copy of The Peacemaker off a discount shelf. I figured I had little to lose at 75% off the cover price. Since then, I have purchased and given away many copies of this wonderful book. It is the best resource I own on resolving conflict biblically AND successfully. After 30 years in full-time ministry, it is still on my Top Reads.
  
  The strength of The Peacemaker is that it avoids the all-too-common trend of presenting humanistic principles of psychology dressed up in religious garb for Christian readers. Instead, it demonstrates the depth and sufficiency of God's grace for equipping Christians to be peacemakers - resolving conflicts, forgiving offenders, and reconciling relationships in a Christ-exalting manner. It issues a call to Christians to live by grace and confidently follow the clear principles God has given us in the New Testament.
  
  You don't need a degree in psychology to understand The Peacemaker. The biblical principles are presented clearly and simply. Every Christian would benefit from reading this book. Twenty years from now, its content will be just as fresh and relevant as the day it was first published, because it presents the timeless principles of Scripture.
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  Carrie ReadingtoKnow

  I'm giving this book 4 stars and not 5 for a simple reason: it's a good resource in the hands of a faithful, humble Christian and a weapon in the hands of a person who isn't.
  
  This book came highly recommended to me (years ago) and I finally got around to reading it. It has very good advice for how to handle interpersonal conflicts with others. There are excellent scriptural reminders that it is important to resolve conflict. Tips on how to approach a difficult conversation with whom you are at odds or how to control body motion, etc. are all spot on. However, if you read the book too "religiously" it can make it seem like every time you disagree with another person on any matter at all (i.e., beef vs. veggies for dinner) you are probably going to be launched into a conflict that needs solving. (And maybe some people do need this so I went ahead and gave the book 4 stars instead of the 3 that I originally leaned toward. Vegans can be fiesty people, I've noticed.) However, ye olde average Christian, I think, could read this and want to start practicing "resolution" all over the place and begin to take things too far. I have to give a word of caution that this book is a tool for healthy interaction but not a guide to how to perceive everything in light of our day-to-day disagreements and personal preferences. Take heed, Reader, least you fall into the temptation of thinking that everything about everything constantly needs to be discussed.
  
  Will we live in this world peacefully with all? No. Or, at least, not all of the time. We aren't called to be at peace absolutely but "in so much as it is possible." When in conflict, it is good to know how to approach it wisely and productively. When standing at the door of conflict, it's sometimes a glory to overlook the matter. It requires a lot of thoughtful prayer sometimes to know which is which. So long as this is remembered by the reader, I could recommend the read.
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  Autumn Beck

  Excellent principles to apply to every conflict. For moms this guide is the best parenting book. Conflict abounds in EVERY relationship, the better we handle the small conflicts the better equipped we will be for the big ones.
  
  Took off a star from my previous 5 star rating because 1) badly needs an update to address and incorporate technology (email, text, social media) that is heavily used in 2021, and 2) a couple of areas Sande was very unclear in his teaching this became more apparent as I went through the book in a group setting.
• 
  Douglas Wilson

  Very good.
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  Cindy

  Very helpful book. I should reread it several times!
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  millie

  good theology, scripture saturated, highly applicable
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  Lynnette

  This book would be helpful for every Christian to read and ponder. There are so many practical tools for getting along with people! The author’s philosophies are clearly founded on Scripture which he supplies in abundance. It is well formatted for group study or as an individual read. The questions at the end of each chapter are challenging and inspire immediate application. I found myself applying some of these principles even in small everyday ways and it’s definitely improved my communication skills and motives.
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  Katherine B.

  I would love to start an editing organization where Christian authors come to us to find out how they could cut 100 pages from their books. As Professor Dickson once said, "Concision is key!"
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  Malia Patterson

  Great book with very practical advice. I think I would have preferred more of a focus on the heart and beliefs that lead to the practical advice rather than remembering a 5 step process
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  Brie Carns

  Very practical and helpful book on the subject of peacemaking and reconciliation with other believers. Would definitely recommend to anyone struggling with another believer.
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  Jonathan Brooker

  I would have expected a book of this kind, and one about to reach it's 30-year mark would feel dated and overly self-helpy. After all, it was written during a time where many Christian books of this nature ended up feeling more like self-help with Jesus tacked on. But this work on the biblical position of peacemaking was absolutely phenomenally executed and has held up very well over the years since Sande first wrote it.
  
  There was such care given to the prolific use of Scripture. No cherry-picking and or taking things wildly out of context. Instead, there was a healthy mix of Scripture where it was appropriate and accurate and then a strong mix of sociological reasoning where appropriate as well.
  
  It was also so thorough and insightful into the nature of discord and the ways of biblically bringing reconciliation. You can tell that this book was written by someone who had worked as a reconciler for many years, and who was notably actually quite good at it!
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  Emma Wick

  Horrible, I read this last winter for school and barely remember what it was about - I blocked out so much of it. Nearly every night I went into my friends dorm room and complained to her about how it was so unhelpful. It was dominated by a privileged christian white man's perspective and tackled conflict management passively. Do not recommend.
• 
  Noah

  This may be the best book on conflict resolution I’ve read. Very biblical and practical. If read carefully and implemented, this would promote a Peacemaker mindset that would benefit any pastor, or person who interacts with people. So... everyone!
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  Jonathan Song

  Clear in its presentation and practical in its application towards how to maintain and bring about peace from a biblical perspective. Sande speaks both from wisdom from past experiences of conflict mediation and is sensitive to the prospect that conflict resolution isn't so cut and dry. It's messy and difficult and emotions heavily get involved. He provides helpful models to think through and ask hard reflective questions about the nature of making peace.
  
  I am left wondering two dueling realities; 1)How good it would be for those involved in conflict resolution to apply the principles listed here 2)How difficult it must be to actually live this with broken sinners who can hardly think straight. Sande gives many stories of victory in his book to demonstrate how the principles work, but Idealogy and Practice rarely ever come out as neat and tidy as he mentions. The question I'm left with is the reality that so many of us live in; "What do you do with partial peace?"
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  Hudson Christmas

  Our youth group has been going through this book throughout this semester, and it has been an absolute blessing. Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson describe the Biblical approach to conflict in a practical and easy to read way, that is perfect for middle-school and high-school students. The Biblical truths are so rich that any adult Christian would easily profit from the truth that they write about. Incredibly convicting and immensely practical, I would highly highly suggest this book, as we all encounter conflict within our daily lives. On a side note, I disagree with the authors' view of forgiveness that we should not forgive until our offender requests forgiveness. However, since this is such a small problem in such a fantastic book, it was not a huge issue for me. Again, highly suggest reading this book.
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  Tamara Milanovic

  Great book on our call to be Peacemakers, on how dangerous it is to use escape or attack responses to resolve conflict, and how rewarding, healthy, and efficient it is to use some of the peacemaking responses instead. One of the best features of this book is how it calls us to search and look into our hearts and dig out any 'idols' that might be hiding behind the conflict as well as it's call to forgivness. It doesn't matter if you are going through a conflict right now or not, this book is something that everyone (especially those who call themselves Christians) should read at some point in their life.
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  Reagan Bon

  Reading this book was like trying to drink out of a fire hydrant. Or getting punched in the stomach over and over again.
  
  Basically, I realize now how poorly I have dealt with conflict in the past, and the Lord has used the wisdom in this book to show me my sin and foolishness. I pray for grace to remember and implement the biblical and practical principles Sande gives in his book. It is my intention to use it as a reference and to recommend it to my brothers and sisters in Christ as I have opportunity... starting now!
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  Jess M

  Sande's book Peace Makers provides Biblical solutions for conflict resolution. The strong point is the collection of lines in scripture pointing us in the right direction for more peaceful conflict but the book itself seems very repetitive. I got much more having a book club discussion of these themes than any examples provided in this book. Our group seemed to think of real life resolutions that weren't as passive as Sande's.
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  Sean Blacksten

  I have never read a book on interpersonal relationships with this level of practical, helpful and needed content like this one. Most of us avoid conflict or wait until our frustration builds up to the point of exploding on another person. This is a must read for anyone dealing with a difficult relationship in their life. Ken's wisdom and experience as a lawyer and commited follow of Jesus makes this book worth the time and effort to read it.