Finding God in My Loneliness by Lydia Brownback

Finding God in My Loneliness Reviews

• 
  NinaB

  I really wanted to love this book. It was, after all, recommended by The Gospel Coalition and the Mortification of Spin podcast and endorsed by some well known, respected Christian authors. We all could learn more on its topic and the solutions it offers. Who hasn’t dealt with loneliness at least once in their life? It is necessary for Christians to have a proper, biblical view of this ubiquitous problem in our social media-saturated culture. However, I found that the author’s hermeneutics are off in some parts.
  
  What I didn’t like about the book:
  1. In the beginning of the book, she states that loneliness is a result of our sin. But later on, she says it really is not. For sure, loneliness exists because of the fall. But being lonely doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in sin. It’s how you respond to loneliness that could be sin.
  
  2. She makes a distinction between being lonely and being alone. God saw that Adam’s aloneness as “not good,” but it is not a result of the fall. But then throughout the book, she mixes loneliness and aloneness as if they’re synonymous. It’s quite confusing.
  
  3. The chapters are organized so she addresses loneliness in different life circumstances: leaving, night, obedience, running away, grief, being different, being unclean, misplaced love, marriage, being unmarried. In the first eight of these, she uses biblical examples to make her point. This is where her hermeneutics is off. She forces her point in these characters, that they struggled with loneliness when they struggled with something else entirely. No doubt, they probably battled with loneliness, but it wasn’t their main problem.
  
  Leaving - she uses Abraham as an example. His problem was disobedience and not trusting the Lord. That’s why he lied about Sara being his wife.
  
  Night - this chapter seems out of place in the book. She addresses the literal loneliness of night and jumps to Jacob’s wrestling with and being humbled by God. I don’t really get the connection here. She also implies hating nighttime is the same as loneliness.
  
  Obedience - she uses Joseph as an example, though she does admit the Bible isn’t explicit in saying he was lonely when he was mistreated by his brothers, sold to Egypt, and wrongfully imprisoned. She claims Joseph overcame his loneliness by embracing God’s purposes as his own.
  
  Running away - she uses Elijah as an example, but his problem was not loneliness. His main issues were self-pity, discouragement, and fear of men. He focused on his circumstances, instead of God’s character.
  
  Grief - she uses David’s grief over Absalom’s death as an example here. David’s real problem wasn’t loneliness, but regret and guilt. His past sins led to Absalom’s eventual demise. He grieved, of course, but grief is not synonymous with loneliness.
  
  Being different - this chapter should’ve been entitled, Loneliness in Being Sick.” The author uses the example of the woman in Mark 5:25 who had been suffering from bleeding for 12 years. Based on this passage, the author concludes that if we focus on our sufferings, we will be lonely. She again assumes loneliness of being different was this sick lady’s problem. I think her big issue was her disease.
  
  Being Unclean - the author uses the demon-possessed man from Mark 5:1-20 as an example. She describes this man’s situation and jumps to idolatry. True, idolatry makes us lonely, but this man’s main problem wasn’t idolatry and certainly not loneliness. His main problem was he was demon possessed! She says that the modern manifestation of demon possession may be in addictions, I.e. different forms of idolatry. It almost sounds like it’s not our fault if we’re addicts because we’re just under the influence of the devil.
  
  Misplaced Love - she uses the adulterous Samaritan woman at the well as an example. She goes from describing this lady with multiple husbands and her focus on filling her physical thirst (when Jesus was referring to spiritual thirst), to our tendency to abuse food and drink consumption as a way to cope with loneliness. It seems like a big jump.
  
  
  What I liked:
  
  1. It is saturated with Scripture. Sadly, many “Christian” books nowadays are all about man’s opinions without a biblical basis. Ms. Brownback did a great job putting the focus on what the Bible says.
  
  2. She has helpful questions at the end of each chapter that are great for discussions and self-examination.
  
  3. Her conclusions on how to deal with loneliness in different circumstances are right on. Jesus is the answer. He fulfills our every need. We can go to Him with our struggles. He went through them himself and is our greatest comforter because he knows what we’re going through.
  
  We’re too focused on the little things, removals of suffering, that we fail to see the big picture of spiritual healing. We seek for any remedy to make us feel normal. It is Jesus. He gives us Himself, fills up what is lacking.
  
  4. For the last 3 chapters and conclusion, the author did a phenomenal job addressing loneliness because she didn’t use any biblical examples to make her point. For this reason, I cannot recommend these chapters enough. If only she applied this study method throughout the book.
  
  5. She gives an outstanding emphasis on the importance of church involvement. We were made by God as relational beings, to fellowship and to belong in community. We do not have to be, and should not be, alone. The church is there to fill the need of belonging, even if we are single and/or struggling with loneliness.
  
  5. Here are some wonderful gems and favorite quotes:
  “Loneliness is an indicator that something is missing, and that something is found only in Jesus Christ."
  
  “Lonely times are preparatory times (for greater things).”
  
  “Our problem isn’t God’s failure to heal, but it’s our expectation of what that healing should look like.”
  
  ”Singleness is not a problem to be solved.”
  
  To an idolator, blessings become a means of bondage. (paraphrased)
• 
  Jami Balmet

  This book is such a blessing!! She covered so many topics of loneliness - from single women to women desperately lonely in their marriage! This book is for all women and I encourage you to go get a copy NOW! One of my favorite books read all year 😍
  
  I listened to this book on Scribd which was awesome! But I knew I wanted to be able to reference it (podcast on this topic coming soon) so halfway through the book I also ordered the physical copy 🙌
• 
  Melanie

  A very quick read, but also meaningful. I do think I read it a little too fast and so I want to reread someday. I liked how the book explained that no matter where you are in life, you can and will experience loneliness. Some people think that if only they were married, they wouldn't be lonely anymore...and that just isn't true -- as one of the chapters in this book showcases.
  
  All in all, very good and eyeopening at times. I recommend it!
  
  *I received a complimentary eBook copy via NetGalley for my honest review.*
• 
  Libby Powell

  There were some great things about Finding God in My Loneliness, and some things that had me twisting my lips. At times, Ms. Brownback seemed to take Scripture or Bible stories out of context, or rather it seemed as though she was putting them into a new context of loneliness. This worked out for some, but for others it fell short, as if she was reading too much into the Biblical characters' lives. This, perhaps, was my biggest problem with the book, and for this alone I would rank it two stars.
  But there were some stellar things happening, too, that I think deserved a five star rating. I love how the author addressed certain aspects of loneliness, pulling out the root problem - searching for fulfillment or satisfaction in everything but God. Certain sections she wrote honed in on this truth so effectively that at times I was drawn to tears in conviction. And while not all of her Scripture interpretation felt accurate, in the last few chapters, Ms. Brownback used Scripture very powerfully to drive home points about the importance of the Church and fellowship in a Christian's life.
  And did I mention how much I loved the bits of poetry at the beginning of each chapter? Reading them was like a breath of fresh air. I copied several of them down in my journal to read when I need a reminder of the truth.
  All in all, I'd give Finding God in My Loneliness 3.5 stars. It's worth the read, though it does have it's problems. It's certainly a convicting message and an important reminder to look to Christ alone for true satisfaction and rest.
• 
  Becky

  In Finding God in My Loneliness, Lydia Brownback argues that every person--every man, every woman, every child--experiences loneliness in one degree or another. It doesn't matter if you're young or old, if you're single or married or divorced, if you've got twenty kids or zero kids, if you're working six jobs or no jobs. Every person is prone to experiencing loneliness. (And there is a distinction between being alone and feeling lonely.) We're lonely for a reason: Eve ate the apple.
  
  "God created human beings with a capacity for loneliness so that we would yearn for and find our all in him."
  
  "The loneliness we experience is a consequence of sin and has been ever since Adam and Eve disobeyed God. The couple hid from God after they ate from the forbidden tree, and that’s also when they began to hide from each other. Loneliness began in the garden."
  
  The goal of this one is to show readers that they are never truly alone, and that all of God's people have felt lonely. Each chapter examines a story--a person--from the Bible and deals with different ways of experiencing loneliness.
  
  Favorite quotes:
  
  "Self-seeking breeds loneliness; self-forgetfulness breeds fullness."
  "We won’t know him as our greatest treasure if our view of him is skewed, and the more we seek escape from our pain in worldly things, the more warped our view of God becomes. Instead of looking for a way out of loneliness, we need to look at Jesus. Only then will we discover that he is what we’ve been looking for all along. And only then will we really be willing to “sell” our earthly possessions and acquisitions for the sake of God and his kingdom."
  "All relationships are tainted by brokenness in one way or another because all of us are tainted by sin. Worst of all are the guilt-ridden thoughts that demand a place in our overburdened heart. The hurtful remarks we wish we’d never said; the selfish things we wish we’d never done; the requests for help we refused to heed—no one can fix this for us. No kind words can erase the past. We are alone in our pain."
  "When he paid for our sin on the cross, he bore the weight of its consequences too—every sorrow and every broken thing for every one of his people. It’s beyond our comprehension, but it’s true. He knows us personally, and his knowledge includes a comprehension of what each of us uniquely feels. We are not alone after all."
  "We miss so much if we fixate on what we need to fit into the world around us. We imagine how much better life would be if only, but even if those if onlys come to pass, they won’t fulfill us the way we think they will. Only Jesus does that. If we’re not convinced, it’s because we haven’t really tasted how good it is—how good he is. Once we do, we won’t despise our differences anymore. We certainly don’t have to like them, but if they linger, we can come to know a sweetness that we wouldn’t trade for anything. Are we willing? That’s the real question. If we let him choose for us, we will find way more than we’ve been hoping for with all our striving."
  "Unlike Jesus, we bring a good bit of our loneliness on ourselves through sin and selfishness. Unlike Jesus, we deserve to be lonely. Being left alone is a fit consequence for sin. But Christ hasn’t left us there. He has come to rescue us from ourselves and all we do to destroy our lives and our relationships. He gives us himself when the people we love have left us. And he fills up from himself what no person or circumstance in this life can ever fill—that aching place in our heart we call “loneliness.” During his earthly life and in his death on the cross, Jesus did loneliness for us. He is back with his Father now, and he comes to take us there too. Close your reading of this book with Jesus’s words to lonely hearts: Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. . . . I am the way, and the truth, and the life. (John 14:1–3, 6)"
• 
  Elizabeth Van Gorp

  This was a good one. It's for every person, married or single, any season in life. Loneliness is hard and we all experience it. Thank goodness there is a true and certain remedy for it that we can find only in Jesus.
• 
  Rachel | All the RAD Reads

  This is a pretty small book, and it wasn't very meaty in my opinion. I wanted a lot more personal stories and thoughts shared than there were, and I found that it came across pretty dry and a little preachy, despite being such a potentially intimate and emotional topic. I had higher hopes for this one, but wasn't a fan.
• 
  Alana

  I couldn't finish, was just too syrupy and simplistic. Maybe that's just not the mindset I'm in right now, I don't know. I just know I was getting bored, and I don't usually get that way reading other biblical studies.
• 
  Literary Strawberry

  Actual rating: 2.5. It was fine. Nothing that really jumped out at me much either way. The chapter on singleness was probably the most helpful for where I am right now.
  
  My one real complaint is that I assumed this was a general book on loneliness for anybody, but by around page 50 I realized she was really only addressing women (she was talking about the loneliness of night, and she mentioned three kinds of people who might dread nighttime: single women, women in a difficult marriage, and mothers of wayward and rebellious teens. And that was the end of the examples). Which, you know, is fine, if that's the intended purpose of the book-- I just wish it had been more obvious from the title/cover that it was specifically for women, because if I was a guy picking this up I think I'd feel a little alienated.
  
  Or, better yet, I wish that it really /had/ been just a general book on loneliness for anybody who might be struggling. It didn't /have/ to be directed only to women-- I understand that maybe the author just felt more comfortable writing about what she has immediate experience with, but she said herself that she's always been single and she had a chapter on marriage, so if she can do the research to write about that surely she could throw in some examples of how guys can be lonely as well. I think it might mostly bother me because it didn't feel like an intentional choice to limit the audience-- it felt more like the author just assumed that women were the ones who would be reading it. But loneliness is not an exclusively female issue. In fact, arguments could be made that guys often struggle with it even more so. I just wish this book had reflected that.
  
  Anyway, all that to say-- it wasn't a bad book. I just personally didn't find it that memorable or insightful for where I happen to be in life at the moment. But if this looks like something that would be helpful or interesting to you, and you either happen to be female or don't mind exclusively female examples throughout the book, feel free to give it a go!
• 
  Michele Morin

  Loneliness: An Opportunity and a Sign of Hope
  
  When C.S. Lewis wrote (famously) of desires unmet that set our hearts toward the journey of further up and further in, it’s obvious that he was writing in the days of snail mail and expensive long-distance phone calls. The truth is that life on planet Earth is beset with longings of every kind, but chief among them is the feeling of loneliness. Now that humanity has access to the blessings of Skype and email and ubiquitous cell phones, it would seem that loneliness should have been eradicated from the globe — or at least all parts of it that have reliable Internet connections. However, it seems that no one is exempt from the sadness of feeling alone.
  
  In Finding God in My Loneliness, Lydia Brownback argues that loneliness is a bellwether, an indicator that something is missing. Our longing to know and be known by others is an invitation to pay attention to that feeling and to find our ultimate fulfillment in the God who created us and knows us by name. In His days here in this broken ground, Jesus offered the pathway of finding one’s life by losing it, but when I believe the lie that finding my life is all about me and getting my needs met, I become a very small package indeed. Cramped and restless, my self-seeking leads only to more loneliness and an endless pursuit of serial wantings.
  
  In her analysis of ten reasons people experience loneliness, Lydia also provides Scriptural examples that bear upon each situation and reveal the truth that God is present with us even when all we sense is absence and longing:
  
  Abraham experienced The Loneliness of Leaving when God called him into the unknown, and he found that “through the loneliness that comes from heeding this call, the Lord redefines us and gives us a whole new identity.” (Loc 503) In the learning process, we begin to make our home in Him.
  
  Those who experience The Loneliness of Night find, as Jacob did in his wrestling match with God, that a humble dependence on God changes our focus. Nighttime struggles with fear and loneliness can lead to new hope and, over time, an abiding light that does not depend upon the time of day.
  
  Anyone who believingly follows Christ will eventually experience The Loneliness of Obedience. In addition to feeling abandoned, Joseph could also have felt resentful during his stint in an Egyptian prison, but an aerial view of God’s redemptive plan allowed him to live and walk in forgiveness. God is able to redeem the lonely seasons of a close-following life, not merely for my own sake, but also for the sake of “many survivors.”
  
  Elijah was discouraged when he fled to Mt. Horeb, but what he found there was The Loneliness of Running Away. Sitting under our own personal broom trees, if we listen carefully, we, too, will hear from God the message that there is no guarantee of a “one-to-one correspondence between effort and success.” (Loc 862) Picking through the rubble of our disappointment, we find our true motivation, and, with this humbling truth in hand, we are ready to be sent back into our calling without the burden of a get-it-right, produce-results, and build-your-own-kingdom mentality.
  
  When we experience sorrow over the “pain of knowing life will never be the same,” we are feeling The Loneliness of Grief. The prophet Isaiah described Jesus as the one who can enter into our grief with us — unlike well meaning friends who spout platitudes and exude impatience.
  
  Those who are different “in a way that offends the sensibilities of others” know the painful Loneliness of Being Different. Lydia vividly re-tells the desperate situation of the woman Jesus healed in Mark 5. Her gynecological malady may have been debilitating, but it was most certainly isolating, and Jesus offers spiritual cleansing to those who are desperate enough to come to Him with an open mind about what healing means.
  
  Even in the 21st century, addiction, disease, and dysfunction usher in The Loneliness of Being Unclean. When loved ones are swallowed up in the darkness, it feels as if they are running wild in the tombs just as the poor guy that Jesus delivered from demons in Mark 5. Lydia offers the helpful perspective that the horror, fear, and isolation of an addiction are truly a misplaced worship and require the same kind of miraculous healing to take the victim off the road to death.
  
  If your idol has been relationships, and your heart has led you astray, then you know The Loneliness of Misplaced Love. Jesus walked thirsty into the hub of a Samaritan town and put His finger directly on the thirst of the town’s female outcast. Serial husbands had not freed her from the pursuit, but through her story, the thirst-quenching love of Christ is revealed as the one thing that will change the future by freeing us from being defined by the poor decision of the past.
  
  Written from the perspective of a single woman, Finding God in My Loneliness looks at both sides of the relational coin, for there is a Loneliness in Marriage that may be more bitter than the Loneliness of Being Unmarried. With demographic data showing that there are currently about as many single adults in America today as married ones, it’s important to understand that, while there is a loneliness particular to singleness, singleness need not be equated with loneliness. Betrayal, spiritual mismatches, and dysfunctional relationship patterns exacerbate the loneliness that happens within marriage, but even the best and happiest of marriages prove the point that marriage was never meant to fill us up or define us. In fact, the single life demonstrates with clarity what all believers need to grasp in our search for community: individuals find fulfillment through intimacy with Christ, and we will “know our oneness with Him most fully when we do life together with other believers.” (Loc 1866)
  
  Participation in a local church has a way of banishing us from the center of the universe while we come to grips with the truth that the loneliness we experience is a sign post, pointing our hearts toward another world.
  
  //
  
  This book was provided by Crossway in exchange for my review. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”
• 
  Dana

  I was recommended this book to read along side another book with a similar theme. I found Lydia's book to be carefully planned out and organized. The chapters were short and to the point. The book was filled with great vocabulary and intelligent thoughts. I felt as though the writer respected me as a thinking woman. I was convicted and encouraged to repent. I was pointed to Christ in every chapter. From the beginning of the book, I was given hope and a remedy for theme of the book. It was very applicable and many examples of people in scripture were used to spur me on toward Christ, my groom and his heavenly kingdom! Well done, Lydia! Thank you!
• 
  Laura

  I have nothing negative to say about this book! Lydia writes that *everyone* will be lonely at some point in their life. Whether from a move, life change, relationship status, death of a loved one, sin, whatever- we will all be lonely at some point. She then approaches how Christ is completely sufficient for us in any of those circumstances. I loved how she was respectful when she corrected wrong thinking; how her chapters were very specific, easy-to-read and also bite-sized; and how she wrote not only from her own life situation but in a way that is applicable to everyone. Her life was not the central focus of the book: Christ was. The only thing that can fill the desire for companionship in our hearts is the One who placed in us a desire for togetherness.
• 
  Bridgette

  I book I plan to turn to again when those seasons of loneliness return. One of the ideas that I keep using in my day to day life is that loneliness or longing isn't wrong, it's an alert. It should point me to something; it should point me to Christ and His lordship in my life. It should be an alert to refocus my attention on what my here and now is.
• 
  Elise

  Writing style: 🌟🌟🌟
  Engagement:🌟🌟🌟
  Content:🌟🌟🌟🌟
  Purpose:🌟🌟🌟🌟
  Value:🌟🌟🌟🌟
  Overall: 3.6/5
• 
  Dorothy

  This study on loneliness is timely and applies to all women in some way at some time in their lives. I find the author's writing is concise, and she deals with her subject thoroughly. There is a rich use of Scripture throughout. The questions at the end of each chapter are appropriate for group discussion and/or personal reflection--be sure to have your journal at hand. Personally, I learned that some of my choices have left me lonely, but that my focus on my devotion to Jesus Christ is the answer. Also, I need to seek out fellowship instead of using my disability as an excuse to wait for others to come to me.
  
  I received a free copy of this book from Amazon in exchange for my honest review.
• 
  Jimmy

  Do you struggle with loneliness? If so how do you handle loneliness biblically? This book is a great resources for anyone going through the trial of being lonely. I have not heard of the author Lydia Brownback before I read this book so I did not had any expectation in the beginning but when I finished the book I realized I was quite impressed and edified by the content of this book. The work was refreshingly biblical and I am glad that the author is one of the senior editors at Crossway.
  The book consists of three parts with a total of thirteen chapters with an introduction and conclusion as bookends. I appreciated the fact that all three parts of the book is alliterated making it easy to remember. Part 1 is titled “Loneliness Reinforced” which looks at how we can make ourselves lonelier with the wrong choices, thoughts and decisions. Part 2 is “Loneliness Realized” and consists of nine chapters. These chapters include looking at loneliness of night, loneliness of misplace love, etc. Part 3 is titled “Loneliness Redeemed” and consists of one chapter that focus on the role of the local church as God’s means of grace for loneliness.
  Many helpful things are found in the pages of this book. For instance Lydia Brownback made a good point that people have a choice in which loneliness can determine one’s view of God or one’s view of God determine one’s view of loneliness. If you have a biblical view of God it is imperative to hold fast to this and therefore determine our view of loneliness. In fact this would be the resources from God’s Word to help us with loneliness. I love how early in the book the author examines the lies loneliness tells us. While realizing that there are people from all walks and seasons of life who are reading this work it was insightful that she shared that the most lonely women she kew are not singles but wives in hard marriages. I thought that was important for readers to read that given how we easily see the grass is greener on the other side. I also appreciated that one of the chapters in the book was on the loneliness of obedience to God. Here I was much encouraged when she pointed out that obedience should never be seen as regrettable by the Christian. I also appreciated that the book talked about grief and how idolatry breed loneliness and and overall the book brings the Gospel to bear to the problem. Jesus Christ and what He has done for our salvation matters here! If we have trusted in Jesus as Lord and Savior that means we have our identity in Christ which is the foundation for hope and change.
  If you are going through trials of loneliness this is helpful to read. I say it is worth getting the book to read even if you are not going through loneliness right now; its best to think about it biblically before it happens and also to be equipped to minster to those who are going through loneliness
  
• 
  Lew Button

  Finding God in My Loneliness Lydia Brownback Published by Crossway Books
  I was in my second year of college many years ago but I still remember a brief conversation I had with a classmate in this Christian college. He was the one I remember for the Christian mottoes in his room so I should have known I was going to hear a motto that day but I was lonely and desperate. So I said, “I am really lonely” and he replied, “You are never alone with Jesus”.
  This is one of those phrases that I now label truthful but not helpful. Yes, Jesus promised never to leave us or forsake us but that truth did not relieve the loneliness I was experiencing at that moment and many times since. I would have benefitted more if my classmate had said, “There is a book by Lydia Brownback that you may find helpful”. Lydia Brownback had not started writing yet so I was on my own.
  Few people want to talk about loneliness (maybe because we fear being put down). Few people want to read about it. Few people want to admit it so this book is both courageous and personal. This is not just about loneliness out there somewhere. The title is Finding God in My Loneliness. That’s personal.
  Lydia Brownback is honest in reminding us that some loneliness is of our own making. For example she writes that “a great deal of loneliness comes from either a reluctance or an outright unwillingness to follow Jesus”. I have to admit that I was ready to put the book down at this point because I have experienced loneliness because I decided to follow Jesus. I don’t need any more guilt.
  Thankfully, I kept on reading and was reminded that loneliness comes from living away from home. We are not in Eden. Loneliness began in the garden and in some measure we will experience loneliness until we finally arrive home. And loneliness isn’t all bad.
  In chapter 2 the author responds to the lies of loneliness. The first of these lies is that loneliness is pure evil. In addressing this lie Lydia reminds us that loneliness can lead us to Christ. I made this discovery on my own when I went through a temporary career change and I can testify to the intimacy with Christ gained through that lonely time.
  She goes on to talk about other lies about loneliness before moving on in Part 2 to different reasons for loneliness. Among the reasons or types of loneliness are the loneliness of leaving, the loneliness of night, the loneliness of obedience (Yes it can happen) the loneliness of grief, and the loneliness of marriage.
  In telling the story of Abraham we reminded of the loneliness that comes from leaving and the loneliness of obedience. We are reminded of the loneliness of Joseph whose obedience got him thrown in jail where he waited for God to do what God had promised. Along the way we read about the loneliness of the unclean and the loneliness that comes from being different.
  My college years are a distant memory and I have matured in many ways but there is still something in me that dreams of going back to that classmate holding up this book and giving him my best raspberry. Loneliness is the dues we pay for living on this planet until it is redeemed. “God created us in such a way that we are complete only in and with him, which is why it is not until we have been perfected in glory that we will be forever free from the feeling that something is missing—that thing we call loneliness”.
  This book would be a great resource for a Bible study and each chapter ends with questions for reflection. I know there are lonely people who would benefit by reading this book especially with a group of understanding and supportive fellow travelers.
  I received a copy of this book from netgalley.com with the understanding I would write a review.
  
• 
  Doreen

  The opening of this book is powerful. It made me excited to read this book. Brownback articulated many things that I have felt and experienced but hadn’t put words to. It helped me. It really blasts away some of the falsehoods we believe about loneliness. For instance, we often think that married people aren’t lonely because they have someone there all the time….or that others we know aren’t lonely because they put up so many happy posts on social media. We don’t realize that EVERYONE deals with loneliness at times. We are not unique in this. Brownback states, “God created human beings with a capacity for loneliness so that we would yearn for and find our all in him:
  In Genesis 2 God ordains the marriage of male and female as another aspect of his design for our aloneness. Yet he never designed marriage to fulfill the incompleteness or eradicate the aloneness. Rather, it more fully reveals our need for our ultimate destiny-to be in union with him” (location 59).
  Marriage…a design for our aloneness…and a pointer to our need to be in union with God? I had never thought of marriage in this way and found it challenging my paradigm a bit. The whole book was very thought provoking.
  She talked about how all the freedoms and options we have can increase our loneliness. “Because we no longer have to stay in one place and do life with the people also staying in this place, we don’t make commitments” (location 99).
  “The god of open options is a cruel and vindictive god...He promises you that by keeping your options open, you can have everything and everyone. But in the end, you get nothing and no one” (location 105) We engage in the push and pull of relationships….not wanting others to get close enough to hurt us but not wanting them to stop being an “option” either. I am around a lot of teenagers on a regular basis and I hear this kind of talk all the time. “Do you want to hang out this week?” “Maybe….if I’m not busy (read here – if no better option comes along) then I might come over…” We are more connected than ever (via technology) and, I believe, more lonely than ever.
  Brownback talks about the various things we do to try to escape from loneliness and how they often breed more loneliness. Instead of trying to escape from it, she talks about redeeming it.
  I could go on and on. This book challenged me and made me think about some of my own “coping mechanisms.” It encouraged me and made me excited. It is a book I will come back to often. I can’t recommend it highly enough.
  Thank you to Crossway for providing me with a free e-copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
  
• 
  Kirsten

  An encouraging book that directs our gaze to Christ and how He has liberated us from our loneliness by partaking of the greatest loneliness Himself: "Jesus took on all our loneliness at the cross, where He was left alone to die, cut off even from His beloved Father. He knows the agony of loneliness, of being utterly alone, which we hear in His cry from the cross: 'My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?' (Matt. 27:46). Because He was forsaken, we are not. People may reject us, but we will never be forsaken by the one who matters most--God Himself." (pp. 162-163)
  
  Also, Lydia Brownback does not hesitate to point out the necessity of weekly worship in order to be free from loneliness: "The lost and the lonely need Jesus--the real one--and they need churches that proclaim Him as He is shown in Scripture. A real church as set forth in the New Testament is not a support group. It's not a social club or a counseling center. It's a family of redeemed sinners who have God as their Father through their union with Jesus Christ. It's a body knit together by the Holy Spirit so that together all are built up and strengthened and loved. Church is God's idea. It is His protection and provision for His people. Spiritually speaking, we do not grow well in isolation. God planned that we grow in fellowship with other believers, sinners rubbing up against sinners, giving and receiving the love of Christ. In this lifetime, the church is where loneliness is redeemed." (pp. 151-152)
  
• 
  Tina Parry

  To be honest, I’ve rarely had episodes of loneliness, but this book really helped me understand how loneliness plagued everyone to some degree in one season or another for many different reasons. Each chapter addresses situations that can result in loneliness… Relocation, grief, being different than those around you, health issues, marriage, singleness, etc. I loved her main premise of the book… That we shouldn’t be surprised or defeated by loneliness, but see it as a nudge from the Lord to seek out community in the body of Christ and to have a deeper walk with Him. I love that she empathizes with each situation, but never lets us be a helpless victim in any scenario. She helps us see how widespread of an issue it is, not limited to age, marital status, economic status or season of life, and that we all need a more intimate walk with the Lord and each other in the body of Christ. As a single, it was good for me to hear how marriage has its even deeper times of loneliness, since so often we view marriage as the end to our loneliness.
  
  I would recommend to anyone struggling with loneliness or just wanting to better understand and minister to those who do.
  
• 
  Erin

  I read this as part of a small group at my church. I really enjoyed certain chapters of this book but overall I kept finding myself thinking, “I want to read more about this!” A lot of the chapters were short and could have gone into more depth, and some of the content was repetitive. Some of it seemed to not even be directly about loneliness. I’m glad I read it, but I don’t think it’s a book I will be revisiting.
• 
  Sara (Just Another Story)

  Maybe 2.5.
  
  I don't really know what to say about this book, other than I think she should just have written about singleness and all the facets of that. I felt like a lot of the chapters were speaking to a woman's desire to be married and feeling lonely in that. I am confident she has a lot of say on that matter (the chapter on being unmarried was the longest in the whole book).
  
  I was disappointed in this one, and I am not sure I will recommend it to anyone.
• 
  Erin McAnnally

  This book was empathetic, encouraging, and convicting in the best ways possible. Almost every page in my copy has something underlined or starred. She uniquely considers loneliness from every aspect of life, even ones I had never considered! And the book even has questions for each chapter to aid in studying the Word and searching the heart. The best books are the ones you feel compelled to return to, and I know I will return to the wisdom in this one soon.
• 
  suneetha mattegunta

  One of the best books on overcoming loneliness.
  
  I read a lot of Christian books. This one helped me understand why I have always been lonely and discontented all my life when God has been so good to me. He has blessed me so much, yet there was an emptiness. He has been wanting to fill that void ever since I was born. With this book, I see a purpose for the loneliness , to bring me to His sweet presence.