The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self by Alice Miller

The Truth Will Set You Free: Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self Reviews

• 
  Hallie

  I'd recommend reading The Drama of the Gifted Child first, if you want something like this title suggests (practical ways of thinking to help overcome childhood injuries, becoming fully "adult"). This book is more a very theoretical supplement to that book and I honestly just think the titles should be switched.
  Miller applies micro psychological theories to macro historical events, and vise versa, which is hard for many to swallow.
  I see where she's going and must say I'm inclined to agree on most points, but this book is far from proving itself as scientifically sound (quite intentionally it seems), and I still see some areas of the human experience where it's obvious that Miller's own history is standing in the way of her seeing the truth.
• 
  Emma

  Unfocused, rambling and prone to some outrageous generalisations and assumptions about the childhoods of world leaders like Gorbachev and Hitler, and also Jesus. (?!).
  
  An example generalisation: "today there are over 100 million women [who have had FGM] and most of them actively endorse this practice" (p.78). No sources cited by Miller, though she does often cite her other works.
• 
  Georgia Zarkadaki

  Αυτη πιστευω πως ειναι η πρωτη φορα που διαβαζω ενα βιβλιο ψυχολογιας,απο την αρχη μεχρι το τελος,και το λατρεψα.Μπορω να σου πω με ελαχιστα λογια τι θελει να σου πει το βιβλιο:ΜΗΝ ΧΤΥΠΑΤΕ ΤΑ ΠΑΙΔΙΑ ΣΑΣ.
  
  Η Alice Miller ειναι κατα της σωματικης τιμωριας,αλλα και του εξευτελισμου του παιδιου και αυτο που ειναι ακρετα τρομαχτικο ειναι οτι δεν αναφερεται στην μορφη βιας που ειναι κατακριτεα απο ολους,αλλα σε αυτη που χρησιμοποιουν ολοι οι γονεις.Ελαφρια μπατσακια για να μην κλαιει ή μια σφαλιαρα αν αρχισει και κανει σκηνη στο μαγαζι με τα παιχνιδια.Σου εξηγει πως αυτες οι μορφες βιες δημιουργουν τραυματα στα παιδια και πως αυτα τους εμποδιζουν απο το να γινουν και αυτοι καλοι γονεις,μιας και γιατι δικαιολογουν τους γονεις τους για τουτη τους την βια επειδη τους αγαπουν.Αλλα η αληθεια ειναι οτι πολλοι ανθρωποι εχουν μεινει για παντα μεσα τους εκεινο το πληγωμενο παιδι και δεν μπορουν να μεγαλωσουν.
  
  Μεσα απο τα εργα της προσπαθησε να ξυπνησει τον κοσμο γυρω της,αναμεσα σε αυτον και η εκκλησια,για τις βλαβερες συνεπειας αυτης της παιδαγωγικης που εκεινη ονομαζει "μαυρη" αλλα ειδε οτι ο κοσμος εχει βαθεια μεσα του ριζωμενη την αποψη πως λιγο ξυλο "στρωνει χαρακτηρα".Σου εξηγει πολυ ομορφα γιατι ενας καλος ψυχοθεραπευτης μπορει να βοηθησει οποιονδηποτε να βγει απο την φυλακη που τον εχουν καταδικασει τα παιδικα του τραυματα,μονο αν το θελησει πραγματικα.Και πως το σωμα θυμαται τα τραυματα,ασχετα εαν το μυαλο προσπαθει να τα κρυψει hence ψυχοσωματικες ασθενειες!
  
  Η γραφη του βιβλιου ειναι εξαιρετικη,η συγγραφεας σου δινει πολυ σαφες περιγραφες των συναισθηματων και στα δινει ολα με τετοιο τροπο που σε βαζει σε σκεψεις.Σου ξυπναει μεσα σου την επιθυμια να κοιταξεις και εσυ εκεινο το παιδι μεσα σου στα ματια.
  
  Το συστηνω σε οσους ενδιαφερονται για την ψυχολογια και σε οσους ειναι γονεις.A definite must read.
  
  
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• 
  Travel Writing

  "...the main purpose of my book is to stimulate reflection-reflection on our own lives and those important stories and histories hidden away in our families."
  
  Mission accomplished Dr. Miller.
  
  "...our bodies store information about what we have experienced in our lives, it is frequently at a loss to decipher those experiences."
  
  "Of course I needed someone to say they understood me because I couldn't understand myself."
  
  "I spent years tormenting my own body, destroying my zest for life, spoiling every pleasure I might have had, and insisted on clinging to the idea that my parents loved me. Therapy exploded those illusions, and now I know what price I paid."
  
  
• 
  Valerie Brett

  This book had a lot of nuggets of insight & wisdom but was too heavy-handed on biblical references for me, and also I didn’t think it was well-organized or balanced; it jumped around & at times seemed to summarize her other books which I found unnecessary. Also, it’s not too much of a manual for becoming an adult... it’s more about child abuse and how grown people should examine any of their own trauma so as not to pass it on to the next generation. A worthwhile cause, for sure, but the title I found a bit misleading.
• 
  Kristen

  I think the theories presented here have some merit, but it wasn't as applicable as I would have liked. The key to overcoming emotional blindness and finding your true adult self is getting in touch with your infancy through really good therapy? Really?
• 
  Jonathan Heeb

  It promised much but in actual fact the majority of the book was made up of unsubstantiated claims and sweeping personal statements about the correctness of her view over everybody else. While there might be some grains of truth in her arguments it is mostly emotionally based and little true scientific evidence is provided. This is a shame as if this had been written in a different way it could have been a powerful statement rather than the slightly awkward and self focused book that is it.
  
  While nobody would argue of the wrongness of smacking a child, the cases offered were extreme and it is little wonder that the individuals turned out strange. There was little advice on how to deal with strong willed children or children at all because the assumption made is that they are all naturally good. After a while this became increasingly irritating as you wanted to scream what are the alternatives that you are offering us that work.
  
  The historical examples really did leave a lot to be desired. When questioned with historical data Alice responded with 'they did not know anything but I do' and then gives no evidence to base her claims on. In fact there are no foot notes in the entire book, everything is based on her interpretation. She is not interested in explaining what she is basing her arguments on because it gets in the way of her theory.
  
  Only in the final chapter did things start to come together and make sense but this was too little too late. A disappointing book and not an author I will look out for.
• 
  Charles Goetz

  This book should be read by everyone.
• 
  Chinchilla_clouds

  Μια συνέχεια από τις Φυλακές της παιδικής μας ηλικίας της ίδιας, η Μίλλερ ασχολείται με το πως οι ταπεινωτικές, αυταρχικές, απορριπτικές συμπεριφορές των γονέων, αλλά και το ξύλο, η σωματική κακοποίηση, όχι μόνο μπορεί να οδηγήσουν το παιδί να αναπαράγει τα ίδ��α στην ενήλικη ζωή του, αλλά μπορεί να είναι και η πηγή πολλών (ψυχο)σωματικών του συμπτωμάτων.
  
  Υπογραμμίζει την σημασία του να θυμηθεί και καταλάβει κάποιος τις τραυματικές εμπειρίες του ως παιδί (κι όχι απαραίτητα να συγχωρέσει όποιον τον πλήγωσε, αντιθέτως, να αποδώσει τις ευθύνες εκεί που πρέπει ώστε να μπορέσει να προχωρήσει) και να τις διαχειριστεί όχι σαν τον ανυπεράσπιστο ανήλικο του τότε, αλλά ως υπεύθυνος ενήλικας για να σπάσει τον φαύλο κύκλο.
• 
  Babis Kokovidis

  An amazing book which shows the trauma from our childhood that we keep with us for the rest of our lives until we find the courage to confront it and deal with it. It is a difficult process but worth doing.
• 
  Bonnie

  I reflected as I read. I thought of the physical and emotional abuse, as well as the humiliation I experienced as a child, how much that hurt me, then compared it with the extensive damage done to children throughout the world in the cultures where these things happen on a larger scale. I thought of the terror children experience as a result of war. This book solicited many thoughts and reactions. Although I found it useful, I am not tempted to read any of the other books Alice Miller wrote.
• 
  Sue

  Intriguing, sometimes disturbing, frequently thought-provoking. A book for the layman about the effects of childhood traumas and neglect, the denial that can result, and the continual cycle of repeated violence. One or two inconsitencies and illogical leaps, but very readable; should be read by anyone who is a parent!
• 
  Tamara

  Although I agree with the principles and ideals set forth in this book, the tone is noxious. It spews forth like the diatribe of a zealot and leaves casual readers like myself feeling like if you are not with her you are against her. I would not recommend as an introductory book into the ramifications of corporal punishment.
• 
  Larry Taylor

  excellent and powerful book for all of us, especially good for information for parents
• 
  Irini Gergianaki

  Η Alice Miller, συγγραφέας του πονήματος "Οι φυλακές της παιδικής μας ηλικίας" το οποίο αποτελεί ένα σημαντικό βιβλίο εκλαίκευμένης ψυχανάλυσης, συνεχίζει με το Ξύπνημα της Εύας αναλύοντας περισσότερο και εστιάζοντας το ζήτημα της παιδικής κακοποίησης. Και ως κακοποίηση εμπεριέχει όχι μόνο την σωματική βία στα πλαίσια της "μαύρης παιδαγωγικής" αλλά και κάθε μορφής ταπείνωσης που μπορεί να υποστεί ένα παιδί από τους γονείς, τους δασκάλους και άλλα πρόσωπα και επειδή ακριβώς εκείνη τη στιγμή λόγω ηλικίας νιώθει ανίσχυρο να βρει διέξοδο, αποκρύπτει στον εαυτό του το τραύμα, το απωθεί όμως όπως υποστηρίζει η ψυχαναλύτρια το σώμα του το "θυμάται". Το ενδιαφέρον σε αυτό το βιβλίο είναι οι προεκτάσεις που έχει η αποδοχή της τιμωρίας των παιδιών από μεγάλο μέρος γονιών, θρησκειών, ηγετών. Το ένα αστεράκι το έκοψα γιατί θεωρώ ότι μετά από ένα σημείο και πέρα επαναλαμβάνεται. Σαφώς δεν είναι τόσο μεστό κείμενο όπως οι φυλακές ή για να το θέσω κομψότερα, αν έχεις διαβάσεις το πρώτο δεν είναι απόλυτα απαραίτητο να διαβάσεις το δεύτερο.
• 
  John

  I'm unsure if this is the best book, to begin with when it comes to Alice Miller, but it sure gives a glimpse into some of her brilliance. She is fond of referring her earlier works and that may be the best reason for reading them in order, not that it changes much of the qualities of this book. Because she can refer to her earlier books it also means that the topics discussed are similar, and in Alice Miller's case it is all about childhood abuse by parents and how those traits and habits are passed from parents to child, unless you confront them, talk about it and figure a way through and out. I like Miller best when she goes into theory and least when she goes into the case material - and I would say this contains both about the same. The book was not as much help as it was informative, but still, a solid read on researching childhood trauma that is focused on physical violence and punishments(or chastisement) by parents.
• 
  Dorothy Nesbit

  In this book, Alice Miller names and expands the premise that, in order to reach mature adulthood, we need to recognise the impact on our childhood selves of a parenting style that taught us to hide our own feelings and needs to meet parental expectations. She gives many examples to illustrate this premise and I find plenty to explore here.
  
  There is a "but". As well as quoting other authors, she quotes and recycles material from previous books and I did find this rather unhelpful. It didn't put me off her work altogether. Instead, it made me want to go back to previous books and read more. I'm not entirely sure I know what this book brings over and above what she has already written.
  
  What I would say is that I find merit in her premise that certain parenting styles, presented as good for children, are actually violent and that we need to recognise the violence in order to heal and move fully into adulthood.
• 
  Carlotta Micale

  Pesante, doloroso, triggerante. Da leggere solo se siete pronti ad affrontare i mostri della vostra infanzia. Interessante la parte in cui si fa riferimento a dittatori spiegando l'influenza dannosa che la pedagogia nera ha sulla società. Molto interessante l'intoduzione al concetto di testimoni consapevoli e inconsapevoli.
  Un libro molto intenso, che non credo rileggerò.
  Avevo iniziato un approfondimento sull'opera di Alice Miller all'inizio di questo 2022, ma mi è toccato rallentare fino ad interromperlo, perchè è tutto davvero troppo triggerante e difficile da processare per me.
• 
  Kurtlu

  Çokça alan okuması yapan biri olarak yazarın da belirttiği gibi bu kitapta uzmanlar için pek bir şey olduğunu düşünmüyorum. Herhangi bir katkı sağlamadı. Ancak alan dışı okur için farkındalık sağlayacaktır. Özellikle çocukluğunda fiziksel şiddet ya da başka yollarla cezalandırılmış ve cezayı meşru gören, anlayamadığı fizyolojik yakınmaları/ruhsal sıkıntıları olan okur için.
  Profesyonel puanım 3, alan dışı okur puanım 4.
• 
  Helen Christie

  Alice Miller was an authority on how cruelty — intentional and unintentional— experienced early in life can stay with people and damage relationships later.
  
  In this book, the author emphasizes the importance of understanding the impact of trauma before the trauma can be put into perspective and resolved.
  
  The book has no numbered source notes, but there is a bibliography.
• 
  Ellie

  Really called out a lot of organizations and people for the way they handle their emotional upbringing. Really encouraged me to get in touch with my young self so that I can become my true adult self- as stated in the title... Everyone needs to read this.
• 
  Lily Rooke

  Mostly repetition (or less well thought out drafts) from the more established works. However, Katya's story towards the end is powerful and thought-provoking, albeit immensely depressing and distressing.
• 
  Flyingbroom

  It could have been done without the constant allusion to biblical figures, but great otherwise.
• 
  Noe

  Once again Miller give such impact on my life. How big the change within me by reading her books. And i forever grateful for that. I hope her books can give the same enlightement to others also.
• 
  Ilaria

  Un libro che ti tira in faccia la realtà e l'importanza dell'educazione del bambino sin dalla primissima infanzia, e il rapporto tra consapevolezza e inconsapevolezza di sé.
• 
  Barbara

  DNF